TRISTAN SOCIAL
LIFE OF THE
PARTY
CONTENTS
1. Dedications
2. The Greatest Concept
3. Mindset
4. Gums Loaded
5. Find the Couch
6. Owners Rights
7. Sobriety is Power
8. Spiders in a Circle
9. Find Your Vibe
10. Ten Stair Jump
BONUS : How to Always Find
Events Near You
DEDICATION
This E-Book is dedicated to the late and
great master of social interactions, Pauline
Marcia McDonald Yoder.
If you’ve ever met me or seen any of the
videos that I’ve created over the years, and
you think I’m extroverted, you’re really just
seeing a reflection of my mother who was a
complete master at work.
I remember for years being embarrassed as
a child whenever my mom would spark up
conversations with people in line at the
super market, DMV or wherever else people
would congregate for a purpose outside of
social networking. I would think to myself,
“You can’t just talk to someone you don’t
know, that’s insane!?”
Little did I know during that time, I was
being trained and programmed into a life of
social butterfly uniqueness unlike any other
I could have ever imagined.
I was so blessed to be able to experience 20
years of life with my mother, and even if
you haven’t met Mrs. Yoder before, you’re
seeing a reflection of her with my words
and actions, day in and day out.
I love you, Mom, thank you for giving me
the greatest gifts of all, life and social ability.
THE
GREATEST
CONCEPT
The greatest concept that I can give to you,
in this course as well as in any course that
you’ll come across that centers around
human relationships and social interactions
in a positive light is this: Give more value
than you take, and you will be welcomed
with open arms wherever you are.
Value has a million different shapes and
sizes, and really comes down to the concept
of intention.
Value can come in the form of non physical
things, the tone in your voice, a smile on
your face, the questions that you ask and in
the manner that you ask them.
A certain air of humility and a willingness to
walk in, as well as walk out of, a
conversation, interaction, or initiation where
you give more than it is that you take.
An open air of, “I will walk away from this
happy, because I gave love and light to our
conversation and situation with no
expectation of return of value.”
Throughout this book you will see me refer
to things such as bringing food to the event,
name tags or gum, those physical things
will garner you great success in winning
friends and influencing people, all the while
becoming the life of the party.
The true concept behind these offerings to
the event is this : you are providing value in
one way or another to the people that you
share the space with.
I am going to give you tools in this book to
teach you tricks, tips and tokens of value,
but something greater that I want you to
walk away with is the idea of finding value
yourself and providing it in your unique
situation.
It can be bringing a pizza to a party, finding
a sea shell on the beach, or wishing
someone a “happy Saturday”, value has no
name, no rhyme, no reason, or no definite
form.
It finds itself in the shadows of the trees
that provide shade to a hot body, or the
refreshing element of a glass of ice cold
water on a hot day.
My greatest hope for you is to be able to
take the concepts and learn the skill
yourself, so you too can find the vein of
value of the gold mine that is human
interactions.
MINDSET
My greatest hope for you is to be able to
take the concepts and learn the skill
yourself, so you too can find the vein of
value of the gold mine that is human
interactions.
Your mindset going into this book and social
interactions should be as follows: This is a
skill, this is something that I must work at,
develop and grow. This is the same as
shooting a basketball, driving a car or tying
your shoe. If you haven’t used your social
interactions muscles frequently or recently,
you can’t expect to jump into the social gym
and put up 225 for 10 reps like an
experienced and warmed up body builder.
The only way that you’re going to progress
in this field is with constant, directed effort
into a goal bigger than yourself.
That being said, I can confidently say that I
have never met someone more extroverted
and willing to meet people than myself, so I
am 100% confident that if there is a teacher
on the planet that can take you from where
you’re at to where it is that you want to be
in the social setting of human interactions, it
is me.
I can teach a penguin to be cold and a nun
to double dutch jump rope naked as well.
I’m so confident that you can get wherever
it is that your are now, to wherever it is that
you’re trying to go, with a bit of guidance
and a push in a positive direction.
You have all of the tools necessary to
succeed in this field of genius.
If you find yourself saying statements like,
“I’m not confident.” I challenge you to
explore this point of view. How can you be
so confident, in your lack of confidence?
That itself is confidence.
You’re just placing that same energy in a
limiting belief, instead of a belief that will
empower you. I challenge you to think to
yourself, “I was shy before, but now I have
reclaimed my power to be a social
butterfly.”
What you do with this is you place that
identity you hold of you being socially
anxious in the past, and allow for a new you
to blossom into the future. These concepts
probably will be foreign to you to begin
with. I implore you to keep going, keep
turning them over in your mind, and
allowing a seed to be planted and allowed
to blossom into a tree that provides you
fruit for your labor.
The time will pass and seeds will be planted
regardless, so why not make them seeds of
abundance that are in favor of the future
that you desire? With that being said, let’s
begin with Life of the Party!
HOW TO
ALWAYS
FIND EVENTS
This is chapter is going to be in conjunction
with “Owners Rights” so be sure to
combine them when the time is right.
One big reason that people aren’t social, is
that they aren’t social. As simplistic as it
sounds, it’s real. If you don’t go out, if you
don’t interact and mingle with society, that
social muscle that we talked about before is
going to shrivel up and become weak.
We’re going to put you off into a mindset of
abundance before we even teach you the
tips tricks and techniques of how to talk to
anyone in these social situations. For
working out your muscles, you have the
gym. For working out your mind, you have
the library.
For working out your social skills, you have
these 3 websites:
Meetup
https://www.meetup.com/ ,
Eventbrite
https://www.eventbrite.com/
Facebook Events
https://www.facebook.com/events/
These 3 websites are the gate for you to
walk through, and on the other side, you
have as many social engagements as you
could ever ask for, in person and virtual (but
please, for the love of everything good, take
your butt to some in person events.)
NO LONGER can you use the excuse “I
don’t know where there are events
happening around me!” These three
websites, regardless of where you are in the
world, will allow you a “training ground” or
sorts, to be able to practice the social skills
present in this book. You can find events on
these websites that are all free, and only
require you to attend with a smile on your
face.
The amazing thing about these events is it’s
like playing with a handicap that’s in your
favor, the people that attend these events
WANT to be met!
It’s like going to the ocean and finding fish
that WANT to be caught.
I’m not going to do an in depth breakdown
of how to find events, you’re smart enough
to go through the three sites and figure it
out yourself, they make them idiot proof!
Now that you know WHERE to find events,
let’s break into the game of how to make
these events count and increase your social
stamina and muscles across the board!
GIVE MORE
THAN YOU
TAKE
You remember the chapter about The
Greatest Concept? If you didn’t read that,
shame on you, go back and read that right
now, we’re going to take that concept and
apply it directly to the next steps. This
chapter is directly related to it.
When you find the events, and you start
going to the events, you might become
overwhelmed with the thought of “How do I
start conversations? What if people don’t
want to talk to me?” Etc. etc. that might be
going through your head. That’s totally fine.
We’re going to combat that directly right
now.
Before you go to your next event, you’re
going to stop at the local gas station or
convenience store, and buy 3 packs of gum
in different flavors.
Yes, exactly that, 3 packs of gum in different
flavors.
Keeping it as simple as possible, with your 3
packs of gum, you’re not going to walk up
to anyone and ask “What’s your name?” or
“Where are you from?”
You’re simply going to walk up to everyone
in the room (yes, everyone in the room) and
offer them a piece of gum.
50% of the people there are going to say
yes, 50% of the people there are going to
say no thank you, but 100% are going to be
appreciative of you for even offering.
You’re going to gain a reputation as “the
gum person” and that reputation is worth
it’s weight in gold.
What you’re doing is providing value. You
could be at a club, a gym, a bar or a
networking event, the library or a funeral, if
you provide value to people (ie. in the form
of a stick of gum) you’re going to become
extremely popular.
What’s going to happen is called the law of
reciprocation. When you give something to
someone, they feel obliged to give back to
you.
They’re going to ask you questions, such as
what’s your name and where are you from.
They’re going to show interest in you, then
from there you’re building rapport and
creating a relationship.
Congratulations!
You’ve just made a friend and it only cost
you maybe 23 cents and a little bit of
initiative.
Welcome to the social club!
Now I want to make a point of this, it
doesn’t HAVE to be a stick of gum, it can be
ordering a pizza for the party, bringing
name tags to a networking event or sparkly
stickers to a rave, as long as you’re
providing value to people, they’re going to
reciprocate in like kind, and since they
probably won’t have anything to give back
to you, all they can give is their time and
friendship.
OWNER’S
RIGHTS
Leverage, leverage and some more
leverage.
I hope that you’ve been finding a common
theme here amongst these pages that I’ve
written for you.
Across the board we’re learning to
leverage, whether it be good energy, gum,
or a combination of the both.
In this chapter we’re going to go over the
key person that you should leverage at
every event that you find yourself at: the
owner of the event itself.
This person is the kingpin, the creme de la
creme of who you should be networking
with at these events and parties.
Find this person, and compliment them
genuinely about how great the event is,
how awesome it is that they put these
events on, and how you want to get more
involved in the space / whatever it is that
they’re doing.
This person flexes their social muscles more
than the average person, far more, and
being connected to this person is the
quickest way to success in this field.
It’s like working out with someone who’s
putting up way more weight than you,
you’re going to be inspired and use their
tips and tricks to make major gains and
progress along the way.
Get good with the owner and organizer of
the event, anywhere they are, they know
other owners and organizers, and they’ll be
happy to open their network to you, that’s
why they’re there.
And remember the greatest concept of all,
provide value and give more than you take.
SOBRIETY IS
POWER
I’m going to say this right now, blatantly:
you don’t need to drink to be the life of the
party. In my experience, it’s much easier to
not drink and be the life of the party.
You can be sober, completely stone-cold
sober, and be the most popular person in
the room. I’ve done it, but someone who
does it at an almost unbelievable level is my
good friend Diego Day on Instagram.
He’s a world-renowned “rizz” artist who
drives his confidence from an internal
source, not one that originates from an
alcohol-induced frenzy.
The amazing thing is, once you allow
yourself to be driven by the people around
you, and your desire to be social comes
from the energy of the room, you no longer
look to an expensive drink as an energy
potion to give you a momentary boost of
confidence and release from your
inhibitions.
Another famous example of someone who
doesn’t rely on alcohol or drugs to help
them be the life of the party is 50 Cent.
It’s crazy to think about the man who’s
responsible for some party ANTHEMS such
as Birthday and In Da Club, which tens of
millions of people have gotten belligerently
drunk to, doesn’t drink himself. Myself,
along with 50 and Diego, all gain value from
staying clear headed in the moment of
frenzy inside of the party atmosphere.
Waking up the next morning, even after a
long night out, is about 100% easier
compared to taking even a modest amount
of alcohol.
One other thing that you’ll realize is when
you deny alcohol, other members of the
party will look at you with a gleam of
admiration in their eyes.
You’ll soon realize that there’s a massive
distinction between the life of the party and
the jester of the party.
One gets invited back and is looked at as an
asset to being in the room, the other is
mocked and used as an example of what
not to be: a liability to the party.
And I’ll tell you this, no one has ever died
from being too sober at a party, but many
people have and will continue to die from
being too drunk.
FIND YOUR
VIBE
This is a concept that took me a while to
develop, and I’m so thankful for the failed
attempts at it because the wins are so life
long and valuable in comparison.
In parties and social situations, I would
sometimes try and fit in with the most
beautiful people at the party in order to try
and get with a cute girl or mix and mingle
with the rich people.
While I never ignore these people at the
party now, I make it a point to create the
vibe that I want to coexist in and allow
other people to join me in it.
Sometimes the cute girl doesn’t want to be
in the dance circle, and she doesn’t like to
talk about things you find interesting.
Sometimes she doesn’t like to talk at all.
That’s totally fine, she’s not our vibe.
What’s going to happen is that the more
that you live in your authentic, true self in
these social situations, other people are
going to see that and want to join your
tribe.
At times when I’m dancing like crazy on the
dance floor, I can tell I’m repelling the girl
that I think is the most beautiful at the party,
but what I find is the girl that I’m actually
most compatible with LOVES the energy
that I’m off putting and makes her way to
introduce herself to me.
Once you find your vibe, you can create
your tribe, and then leverage your tribe to
get that cute girl interested in who you are.
And if she doesn’t bite the bait, you still
have your vibe and your tribe, which is what
you really want at the end of the day.
I’ve spent countless hours trying to impress
girls, flirt in DMs, chase after a feeling of
validation from someone that I saw as
beautiful, just to look back on it now and
realize that the friendships that I made at
these events were way more powerful and
long lasting in comparison to the romantic
relationships that came from them.
10 STAIR
JUMP
This concept relates back to skateboarding
and the crazy sport that it is. I want you to
imagine a skateboarder flying down a set of
stairs in your mind.
Think about how nerve-racking it would be
to jump on that skateboard yourself and
attempt to go down even a set of 5 stairs.
Now I want you to double that stair set
inside of your mind.
That’s your 10 stair jump.
The thing is, once you do that 10 stair jump,
that 5 stairs that you had in your mind
beforehand is so much simpler, smaller and
less scary than it was before.
Hell, it’s half the size of the 10 stairs that
you built up the courage to commit to.
I want you to go out and find your 10 stair
jump, so that you can go ahead and charge
forward with your 5 stair jumps in the
future without hesitation.
There won’t always be 10 stairs in a social
setting to jump down, but there’s almost
always guaranteed to be 3, 5 and 7 stair
sets to jump down on a more regular basis.
When you commit to jumping down 10,
those smaller sets become instinctual and
you can focus more on being in the present
moment instead of faltering and waiting for
a new solution to come about.
Maybe that 10 stair jump is talking to the
most beautiful person at the party.
Maybe that 10-stair jump is throwing a
party yourself.
Maybe that 10 stairs is quite literally
jumping down 10 stairs on a skateboard,
that’s for you to decide, and for no one else
to question.
If I can give you anything from this e-book,
it’s to jump at opportunities to jump. Not
just for you today, but for who you want to
become in the future!