The price of living your own life - lack of
understanding is a test of your character
## 🗒️Notes
The Price of Living Your Own Life 💸
Cultural "Runways" vs. Personal Fulfillment 🛣️
Standard expectations for relationships, career, family
"This there is a very clear runway that your culture maintains with respect to how your
relationships are supposed to proceed, with respect to how your career is supposed to
progress, and with respect to how your family is supposed to behave."
Many people find these "runways" unfulfilling
Standard cultural "runways" for relationships, career, family
Graduate high school → College → Good job → Climb ladder → Buy car & house
→ Monogamous relationship → Marriage → Kids → Repeat cycle
Even people who are miserable due to following these conditioned runways will
look at you "..like you have two heads!" if you act contrary to these.
These runways leave most people dissatisfied with life.
If it works for you, it's just dumb luck.
The solution: Building your own life "custom-tailored" to you
The Cost: Approval of Others 👎😔
"The cost of living your own life is the approval of others. That's it."
If you want to live your own life, you have to give up any idea of approval and validation from
other people.
Deviating from norms makes your life incomprehensible to others
- If you make difficult and abnormal decisions, other people will simply not be able to
understand it.
- What you cannot understand, you cannot approve of.
- Often times, deviation from the norm will proportionally reflect other people's cowardice as
they self-reflect and feel bad about their choices.
- Presenting choices they cannot understand also creates a vague sense of negativity as
humans avoid the unfamiliar.
- This combination often causes the festering of Envy, Hatred, Doubt, and general hostility.
⚠️To be approved by masses, must be understandable to masses ⚠️
Social Validation: The Invisible Control Mechanism 🎭🕸️
The approval of others acts as a powerful control mechanism to keep individuals adhering to
cultural norms and expectations. It provides a sense of safety and belonging for those who
conform, but leaves those who deviate out in the cold.
The Social Safety Net 🥅
"It's important to understand that the approval of others isn't just like this warm fuzzy emotional
validation, it's a kind of social safety net upon which those who do not conform cannot rely."
Conformity to norms grants access to social support
Emotional support, advice, help in times of need
Deviating from norms removes access to this "safety net"
Leaves individual alone to face challenges
Fear of losing safety net keeps many stuck in unfulfilling lives
The Price of Deviance 💸
"People who choose their own paths in life are subject to experiencing far more
persecution and injustice than those who conform, even if their choices aren't harming
anyone."
Social rejection for being different
Loneliness, lack of support
"I might be miserable, but at least I'll have company."
The Courage to Stand Alone 💪
Living authentically requires the courage to:
Tolerate incomprehension and hostility from others
Face challenges without social support
Risk persecution and injustice
But the freedom to live as one's true self is worth the price. 🦋🗝️
Finding Your Tribe 🌈👣
Must understand that you may lose social validation from ALL people around you, including
your family and friends.
Unfortunately family & friends are accidents of birth, geography and not really entirely
under your control
These people may not want to, or may not even be able to understand and thus support
your endeavors.
Living authentically and steeling these difficulties attracts resonant people who also think the
same
"This might be the only way to ensure that you are seen and understood by those around
you."
However, in order to attract these people into your life, you must first survive the difficulty of
deprivation of mass approval long enough to accrue unconventional fulfillment
🗃️Metadata
Title: The price of living your own life: lack of understanding is a test of your character
Channel: PsycHacks
Publish Date: 2024-03-15
Length: 9:53
Note Created:
2024-03-23
15:02
Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_lUYaeVToh4
Tags:
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Type:
Youtube Notes
​
Topics:
Taking charge & Masculinity
Self-Improvement
Relevance:
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Relevant links:
Orion Taraban
Stress Tolerance
Social skills
Mindset & Mentality
Finance & Business
​