SO BLACK &WHITE
By Shag Kohl
1. A PROVIDENCE CHOICE
Your sorries were enough. He'd heard a lot that could last him a lifetime. Your
"I didn't mean it " was becoming a thing of the past and he despised it with the
last pint of his blood.
He gave you more chances than you ever deserved, not because by human
standards he was a fool. He loved you with a love so pure that it could never be
tainted by your arrogance and heartless behaviour. He could live without you,
but the pain could cost him to lose his sanity, then what would become of his
life.
He sometimes questioned Providence; of all the individuals in the world, why
was his love found in the most sadistic individual he'd ever met. He tried to
make her see sense that making others pay for other people's misdeeds was not
going to take away the pain she felt. She always laughed at his sense of
ignorance and innocence; how could he think like that. It was never about peace
of mind; all she wanted was to distribute the pain within her; nothing less and
nothing more.
So far, she was doing well until that charming angel came her way. Providence
did have a great sense of humour so much that it paired her off with the good
guy. Funny how she didn't ask for a guy in the first place, yet she had one of
those few angels who came in the form of men.
She'd made it her sole aim to push Mr Angel to the wall until he could take it no
more but all seemed futile or so she thought. There had been some intimate
moments shared between Mr. Angel and her in the past, but it was always shortlived due to her insecurities.
No, she wasn't a monster; something she'd always made sure to remind herself.
She always apologized to Mr. Angel when her ordeals got to the extremes and
was truly remorseful for things she hadn't really mean to do or say to hurt him.
At least, that kept her human or rather she believed it did.
For the short while they'd been together, she had uttered about a hundred "I'm
sorries" and Mr. Angel still forgave her each time. Wait, didn't the Bible say we
should forgive an offender seventy- seven or so times? She'd surpassed that
number and was still forgiven. What was wrong with Mr Angel; it was either he
was a grand fool, or he was just acting as one and either way, she was fed up
with him. Besides, he was gradually becoming her weakness and that was
something she never had till he came her way. She made sure she had no
loopholes in her life that could finally crash her already broken heart into finer
pieces. "Such irony", she thought.
She'd heard of an angel's rage and wanted to experience how brutal it was, but
it seemed Mr Angel was never going to give her such pleasure. She knew the
only way to find out was to push her luck; the luck that had been keeping her
safe from being slaughtered by the family and loved ones she'd meted painful
atrocities. She had no idea; how lucky she was the day she decided to push her
luck to see how much rage Mr Angel was made off. She knew just what she could
do to tick him off —his family.
A guy no matter who he was, always had his family if not above God as an
important part of his life and plans. A week ago, she'd heard him tell someone
on the phone that his family was on one of the last planes from Ghana to the UK.
Due to a major threat to national security, all other flights had been cancelled.
The plan was pretty simple; all she had to do was put on her extreme naive face
and get Mr Angel's permission to enter his room with the sole purpose of
tidying it up. How she hated asking Mr Angel's permission but for the plan to
work, she had to descend low and ask.
The first part of the plan had worked out smoothly without her cracking a bone.
Mr Angel had been too busy doing God knows what he'd been doing even to
look up at her. As she entered the room, she noticed that the room wasn't that
bad for a guy. It had a partial neatness except from the shoes and socks lying
around haphazardly together with the used papers and pens.
Without wasting much time, she found what she'd been looking for; she cut the
plane tickets into pieces and set them on fire with the lighter her daddy had
given her. Her lust to see his rage was so consuming that she'd added a few
documents she hadn't care to read to the bonfire.
As she dropped the last of the documents into the fire with an evil smirk on her
face, that was when Mr Angel had graced the room with his presence. He needed
the documents on his table to complete the contract he'd been working on, so
he could send it to his managing director for his signature before the foreign
investors arrived that night.
Mr Angel was dumbstruck for five minutes, no reaction on his face and no body
language to give away his impending rage. As five minutes passed, so did wellcomposed Mr Angel too. Standing before her was no Mr Angel but a feral wolf.
Geez! she didn't just break the camel's back; she'd ended its life too and its ghost
was ready to take hers in return. Why wasn't she ever told that the rage of a
broken angel could leave your body numb before the actual "fun" began? Ahaa!
She remembered; she never thought to ask. Too late she'd found her answer all
by herself and it wasn't in the least pleasant; not at all.
" You sadistic bitch, you just burnt my family's plane tickets and from the smirk
I saw on your face, it was a bloody deliberate action. And not only that, but you
also burnt my company's papers too. You know what for the first time, I want
to forget about the whole crap of not beating a woman, and hit you so hard that
you beg to die."
With each word, he closed the gap between them till she was breathing through
him. That was when she'd decided to take note of how godly Mr Angel looked.
" Damn you bloody hormones, of all the moments you could have reacted, now
it's the time you decide to show your pretty head", she thought to herself.
Yeah, she remembered, Mr Angel wasn't done with her yet. Even with little or
no gap between them, he continued his speech of fury; "I thought there was
hope for you, but it seems you're too far gone in this dirty hole you call living
and there's no coming back. If I lay a finger on you, I would just become like you,
a heartless monster that you've become, and I sure wouldn't want your tainted
blood on my hands. In case you go back to hell, my greetings to your true love,
Hades."
For the first time in her twenty years of life, she'd been stabbed by her own
medicine; not by anyone but by an angel full of rage.
Before she knew it, her eyes were clouded with tears. Even in tears, she'd told
Mr Angel what she had to say.
"So, you aren't an immortal after all. You were just a human playing an angel on
earth. What happened? Did you lose your wings or purity? I knew it wasn't long
till you showed who you really are; a primitive man, not the angel you
pretended to be all along."
How she'd been able to finish her statement amidst her tears was a mystery. Mr
Angel was marvelled at the young woman standing in front of him. Even after
what she'd done, she had the gut to throw words at him. It was official; it was
either she didn't have a heart or hers had gone coal. Mr Angel had preferred to
go for the former because the woman standing in front of him didn't seem to
make use of one.
"I never said l was an angel, and the only one who played hypocrisy here was
you; You never told me you were the devil's betrothed. I can't believe l was
living with evil itself. No one will ever disgust me more than you do."
With that, Mr Angel had walked away.
"It's a pity you fell for Evil's charms!" she screamed before the door had closed.
They'd both shed tears they never knew they had. Although each one's tears
had been for different reasons, it was the same reason; why had fate been so
cruel to them by putting them up with each other.
In the end, she had moved out of his house the next morning without a word.
Mr Angel had avoided seeing her sadistic face, and of course, he had two
important issues to settle; his work documents and his family plane tickets
thanks to Miss You- Know - Who. She finally left by midday, and it felt as if none
of whatever happened yesternight had been real. Life would return to normal
very soon or so they both thought.
What they didn't know was for them to get through this life in one piece, they
needed each other to do so, besides Providence had made it so and they had no
say. Even though one was made of snow and the other of coal, just like any black
and white we know, on their own each of them are just plain colours but
together they form a combination so bright and universal.
2. TROUBLE COMES A SECOND TIME
Gabriel's family was returning to the country. After all the trouble Tania had
caused, he'd been able to settle his problems. His manager after harshly
apprehending him, helped him settle the company's contract. There was a
delay in the foreign investors' flight; that had given him ample time to design
the contract once more.
“You know, that's one reason why we don't mix work and pleasure", Gabriel's
manager had told him after he had decided to tell him what really happened to
the contract papers. No, he didn't mix his work with pleasure; he had messed
his life up by deciding to live with chaos.
Speaking of Chaos, he wondered what she was up to now. No matter how much
he'd tried, he couldn't stop thinking of Tania's safety. The girl was just a loose
cannon and a lover of trouble. How a smart and intelligent girl chose to live a
sadistic, manipulative and troubled lifestyle was beyond his thinking. Gabriel
couldn't think far, in fact, he decided not to think of that madness.
Enough of Tania, his family was arriving in an hour and that was all that
mattered. His dad was unable to come along with the rest of the family; Gabriel
had managed to purchase only three tickets and that could only cater for his
mum and two sisters. His dad would come in the next three days; besides, he
had some business deals to settle before leaving the UK for Ghana. Gabriel's dad
was a strict businessman with no time to joke around. He was a man who said
what he meant and meant what he said. He spoke only when it mattered.
SOMEWHERE IN THE COMMUNITY COLLEGE.
"Tania, stop being hardheaded and see the trouble you've caused. If he loses
his job, it's on your head and if anything happens to his family, I bet he would
find you and end your troubled life."
Anna, the only person who had befriended Tania was down on her wits trying
to let her see that she'd gone far this time.
After leaving Mr Angel's house, she sought out Anna, her only friend at college.
It took guts to accept Tania for all the trouble she carried. Tania had grown up
with identity and acceptance crises. Out of it, she'd become rebellious,
manipulative and a bag of trouble. She destroyed every good that came her
way. It seemed she was fighting an unseen force and every time she caused
pain, destroyed something good, she won.
Her happiness came from causing disasters. She caused so much trouble at
school that she'd been expelled from the school campus and made a nonresident. All these, her parents were unaware. Tania was the odd one among
her siblings. Growing up, Tania had been a little rebel. Every trouble was
caused by Tania, even those she had no idea of. Nothing she said to her mum
and dad was believed. "Why can't you be like Jenna?" she was always being
compared to her kid sister. She wanted to be loved and accepted but all she
heard around her was "be like Jenna."
After high school, she had chosen a college far from home. Her parents could
have their perfect Jenna and she could live her uninterrupted life. Besides,
nothing she did was good enough for them. As for Derry, Tania's elder
brother, he was almost as perfect as Jenna was, and they were usually flocking
together leaving Trouble Tania all on her own. Even her own blood had issues
accepting her, how more others. She'd always be the black sheep and she was
tired trying to change that.
The only person who had seen Tania truly remorseful was Anna, and Anna
was counting on that to convince her to go render her apology to Mr Angel.
Tania had no choice but to tell Mr Angel how sorry she was, and she had to
mean every word of it. Her last year in college was already tough and having
nowhere to stay was making things tougher. Anna could not let her live with
her; if she was caught, she'd be in bigger trouble. With Tania's reputation for
trouble, and the enemies she'd corroborated over the years, it wouldn't take a
day before the college administration would get to know that Trouble Tania
was back on campus.
It was settled; she had to swallow her pride and go back to Mr Angel. She
could no longer afford the accommodation off-campus. If she called home, her
mum and dad would think she wanted money since that's the only time she
called home. They had made her aware that if she called again for money, they
wouldn't provide since it was getting too much. And there it was again; she
didn't want to risk the chance of being compared to Jenna. Mr Angel's place
had been the last resort and she knew it would only take a miracle for him to
accept her back into his home. No one invited trouble back into their home
after it left, not even Mr Angel.
Gabriel's family had arrived safely into the country. He'd driven them home at
half-past seven. Gabriel's mum was glad to be back after so many years.
Sharon, Gabriel's younger sister seemed indifferent about the whole trip. She
was more like their dad but a little lively. Little Keren, on the other hand, was
just happy to be somewhere new. At age 7, all she knew about Ghana was just
pictures and what her mum had told her. She couldn't wait to begin her new
experience.
Finally, Gabriel could relax now. The whole week had taken a toll on him.
After talking to his dad, Gabriel retreated to his bedroom. Within some
minutes, he had fallen asleep. The next day was Saturday, and he was glad; it
was going to be work free. He needed all the rest he could get. The investors
would arrive in the country beginning of the following week.
Gabriel's mum understood the pressures of her son's work so she allowed him
to rest as she took Sharon and Keren around town.
The knocking on the front doors had been going on for a while now. Gabriel
couldn't ignore it anymore. The person was bent on breaking down the doors.
Whoever it turned out to be wasn't going to like his sour mood and he didn't
care. The only day he had to rest, and someone was trying to break his house
down.
Tania had been knocking for a while now. She wanted to give up and walk
away, yet she had nowhere to go. She had to swallow her pride and face Mr
Angel. As she kept knocking, someone came to open the door, and to her
surprise, there stood Mr Angel in his pyjamas with a murderous look. Now
come to think of it, she should have rehearsed a speech specifically for him.
Gabriel was astounded but hid it well under the murderous glare he was
directing at Tania. The one person, preventing him from having enough rest
was no one other than Tania. Tania again! What was she doing here with her
travelling bags? It seemed as if she'd moved out but to where, he didn't know.
He still hadn't forgiven her for all the trouble she caused him.
"What do you want here?", Gabriel asked not even trying to hide the venom in
his voice. After all that happened between them, she had the guts to come
back here. She had no shame and that's how Gabriel felt.
Thinking about it again, she should have prepared herself well enough to face
Mr Angel. Now she was counting on her sense of humour to complete this
phase.
"Eerrmm..., I know I'm in no place to demand but can we talk inside your
house. Just so people will stop staring at us like a married couple having an
issue."
Gabriel knew Tania had been right about the stares they were getting , so he
asked her in, though not politely. When they had entered the house and stood
at the parlour, they just stared critically at each other; Gabriel couldn't rub his
fingers around why Tania was here, and he sure didn't want to look at the
obvious reason. Tania could feel the venom Gabriel was preparing to spit on
her.
Tania decided to break the silence, "Mr Angel, I believe I'm not your favourite
person in the world right now but please just grant me a listening ear. I need
your help. I know we didn't part on a good note the last time we were together
but I need your help desperately. I'm sorry for the joke I played on you the
other time. I'm quite sorry. I'm not asking you to forgive me now, just your
help. On a serious note, that wasn't a joke at all and I know I shouldn't have
done that. "
Tania saw the look Gabriel was directing towards her and she felt the pain all
over again. "No one would ever disgust me more than you do."
The words Gabriel had said when he looked at her like a piece of filth. Just that
look, had seeped her last piece of courage. Why did she listen to Anna in the
first place? Everything looked great in her head, but the reality was so
different.
Gabriel realized Tania's mood had changed. The fighter was no more. There,
stood a wounded bird in flight. He saw the hurt on her face. The same hurt
he'd seen when he'd told her, "No one would ever disgust me more than you
do." He played that night over and over again in his head. Gabriel knew he had
every right to be angry but some of the things he'd said to her were quite
harsh. Someday, he would apologise but today wasn't the day or time. He
wanted to reach out to her but he couldn't, for he was as wounded and
unforgiving as she was. No matter how much had happened between the two,
Gabriel still cared for her though he didn't want to admit it.
3. AN ANGEL’S HEART
Tania stood before Gabriel waiting for him to speak but he still hadn't said a
word. Thinking it was her cue to leave, Tania began to walk away carrying her
bags.
She had asked for a miracle. "Lord, please I know I've stayed away from you for
a while now but please grant me this little miracle. Father, please despite my
wrongs, let Mr Angel give me a place to stay in his house once more. Even if I'm
supposed to face his rage, then he says yes, I would be glad. Amen."
This was the prayer she'd prayed the night before and the morning of that day.
The miracle wasn't going to happen, not for her anyway. She had been a bad
person and God didn't help such people; she'd thought.
Holding back her tears, she hastened her step away from him.
"No, don't walk away", Gabriel had finally said.
Did Tania sense pity in Gabriel's voice? What had he just done?
Gabriel's mind was made up, he wasn't going to help Tania anymore. He wasn't
allowing himself to be manipulated by this unstable lady. His heart was saying
otherwise; Tania was being remorseful this time and his heart was so sure
about that in spite of what his mind was saying. Before he could decide for his
lips what to say or stay silent, his heart had uttered the words not once but
twice. Those words had caused Tania to stop walking and turned.
"What just happened? " she'd thought in her head. "An angel would always be
an angel no matter how hurt he is", her heart had told her.
She blinked twice to be sure she'd heard right. When she'd seen him walking
towards her, then she knew her ears had been working perfectly.
Gabriel's mind was telling him how bad of an idea this was, but he still walked
towards Tania. When he reached her, he breathed in and said,
" You're the last person I was planning to see today. On second thoughts, I
wasn't planning on seeing you ever again after what you did. You don't know
how much I hate you right now, Tania. Wanting to destroy everything good that
comes your way, you almost put my family's life in danger. I don't like you, but
the difference between you and I is that I'm much more human than you are.
I'm gonna help you. This time, I'm gonna let you work for it. You could stay in
the boys' quarters. It's been vacant for a while now. Not only that, but I'm also
renting it out to you and every month I expect you to make a certain amount of
payment to me. In case you ever decide to destroy anything else in my house,
you would have paid in advance."
"Have we got a deal?", Gabriel had finally asked.
Tania was shocked; Mr Angel had allowed her back into his home. This time,
with conditions attached to it. If she was going to keep the place, she would
need a job. Mr Angel, she supposed wasn't doing this out of the goodness of his
heart but rather to have her close enough for revenge. For now, she didn't care.
All that mattered was, she had a place to live until she completed college.
"Thanks, Angel", was all she'd managed to say. Gabriel looked sternly at her and
shook his head.
" My name is not Angel, it's Gabriel. I think it's time your manipulative head gets
it right. Don't you think, Tania?"
With that, he walked away from the parlour into the house leaving Tania
standing alone.
She left Gabriel's house to pick a cab back to her college. In the cab, Anna had
called her. Tania had been gone since morning and Anna was a little worried.
"Tania, so did Mr Angel let you back into his home or you succeeded in turning
him into a monster?"
Though Anna wished for everything to go well for her friend, she had to admit
that due to the trouble Tania had caused, things wouldn't be that easy.
"He did let me in not because he wanted to but because he wants to prove he's
more human than I am", Tania answered with some sense of hurt.
Anna felt sorry for her but at the moment what mattered was that Tania had a
place to stay. On reaching Anna's hostel, she'd told her about the deal she had
with Gabriel and how she was going to be paying rent for the place.
She needed a job badly. Luckily for her, Anna knew of some family friends in
search of a home tutor for their seven, ten and twelve-year-old kids. They had
immediately called the man in need of a home tutor and before long Tania had
a job. Anna helped her back the rest of her things to Gabriel's house. After
cleaning the quarters, Tania packed her things in. Gabriel had left the key with
the security guard of the place who was informed to give it to Tania. By 8 pm,
Tania had settled in the quarters.
All this while, as Tania moved into the quarters, Gabriel's mum sat by the
window wondering who the young lady was. Her curiosity could wait until her
son came back home from the small trip he'd taken just before she returned
from the tour with her two daughters.
"Sharon, could you send these glasses of juice to the two ladies we saw packing
into the quarters?" Sharon did as she was told. She sent the glass of juice to
Tania and Anna. Without any smiles or introduction, she left them the juice
informing them her mother asked her to bring it. Before they could say a thank
you, Sharon had left the room.
"Your life must be damned, even his sister doesn't like you", Anna half teased.
That was Gabriel's sister she'd just met; the one and others whose tickets she'd
burnt. Did she say her mum asked her to bring the drinks? That meant Gabriel's
mum was in the house now which means his family had made it to the country.
Anna noticed Tania drifting away and tapped her; " You have to apologise to
Gabriel and his family for what you did if you want to ever have a peaceful
mind." "But I already. ......"
"No, you didn't Tania. You did what you had to do to get you back into Gabriel's
house so you could get a place to live till you complete school. I'm asking you to
offer a true apology to him and his family that is devoid of your manipulation",
Anna had interrupted.
Anna had to return to her hostel, so Tania had to get her a cab. After some
minutes, Anna got a cab back to the hostel. As she hugged Tania, Gabriel got
down from another cab.
"Please be good, no more troubles please", Anna pleaded with her. With that,
the cab drove Anna back to her hostel. Gabriel looked tired and stranded, too
tired to fight Tania tonight. When she'd offered him a thank you, he'd just
nodded his head and walk away. Tania had also walked back to the quarters.
wondering if whatever happened between them was beyond repair.
The investors had finally arrived in the country on Monday. Gabriel took them
to their hotels and sorted everything that had to do with their accommodation.
Starting from tomorrow, he could start discussing the contract with them and
also help them enjoy everything Ghana had to offer. The week was going to be
hectic but, in the end, it would be worth it.
They had reviewed his proposal and it was impressive. If this deal pulled
through, both parties would benefit massively; Gabriel was stopping at nothing
to make that dream true. It was time to head home.
The accommodation of the foreign investors had been settled now. Tomorrow
would be another day with the schedules of meetings and movements up and
down.
Tania had just closed from her tuition with the child of Anna's family friend. The
family was pretty accommodating perhaps being the first day. The parents had
asked her a series of questions before she was finally allowed to meet their
daughter. The payment was great, she could pay for her monthly rent and still
have enough to take care of herself.
She felt the breeze of independence: Mum and Dad could stop worrying about
her and take care of their sweet pearl, Jenna.
The young child she was assigned to tutor had been a twelve-year-old called
Flora. She seemed to be an introvert and quite observant. She kept passing
glances at Tania and her parents. She didn't seem much of a talker. Staring
critically at Flora, she reminded of her childhood; a girl yearning to burst out
and let the whole world know what she's made of. The only difference was
Tania had burst out, but no one listened or showed interest but here was a girl
drowning inside her dreams and who she really was.
Twelve-year-old Flora took several glances at Tania. She looked cool, at least
her parents didn't seem to intimidate her. Maybe she could open to her like she
couldn't with her parents. They had become overprotective ever since her
drowning incident at her school pool where one of her friends had playfully
pushed her and she slipped. From then, they'd become like a shadow and
whenever they were around, Flora became timid till it became part of her.
"Hi Flora, I'm Tania, Nice to meet you", Tania had said to her. "Hi", Flora had
said back. With that, her parents had directed her to Flora's study room. She'd
smiled and thanked them.
Some minutes later, Flora walked in with her books close to her chest. When
she'd sat, Tania smiled. Seeing the tension in the room, Tania started to speak
about random things and all she'd got was a nod, so she'd decided to talk more
about herself. When she told a joke about how she had hidden one of her little
sister's favourite shoes for a month because she had called her a troublemaker
and had finally given to her, Flora's eyes lit up. She'd wanted to laugh but
covered her mouth with her hands. Tania left after giving her the assignment to
write about herself.
She'd known Flora wouldn't openly talk about herself but ink and a paper had
a way of making things come to life.
Tania was pretty tired when she'd got home. Speaking of home, she'd wondered
what Mr Angel had been up to. Despite everything she missed him. No matter
how much she'd run, her heart had been broken into finer pieces the night he'd
called her the devil's betrothed. She bet sorry could never be enough between
the two of them.
Just as Tania had been thinking of Mr Angel and their plight, her mum decided
to call.
"Ooh finally, they'd remembered their misfit of a daughter", she thought
sarcastically.
" Hi Tania, hope you're doing great. How's your final year of school going?
Before I forget, Jenna is the president of her new college and Derry just got
promoted at work."
"Hi Mum, how nice of you to call me. And nice to know that my siblings are doing
great, so great. And I'm sure everything is peaceful and everyone is doing just
fine. My greetings to everyone." Tania couldn't wait to end the call with her
mother.
"Are you all right, baby?"
"Yeah mum, I'm okay, just tired", she half lied.
"Tania, your dad and I will be visiting you at school during the weekend. The
whole family will be coming. We miss you, baby girl."
"WHAAATTT???? Y'all wanna come see me at school?"
This was not happening, not now. She'd been able to keep her expulsion from
her parents since her second year of college and now they are coming to visit
her at the hostel she didn't belong to.
"Mum, how about I come home to spend the weekend, it'd be great too", Tania
said trying to find a way out of this. She couldn't convince her mum anymore
since her dad had taken the phone and told it was settled; the whole family was
coming to visit her at school.
"When your family 'loves' you beyond measure", she said ironically. And like
always, the achievements of her siblings had to be rubbed in her face. Jenna
becomes president of her college and she decides to get herself expelled from
her hostel. As for Derry, he just gets better.
With that, she reheated some food and had her supper. After, taking her bath,
she'd reviewed the literature on her project, then she'd retreated to bed.
Gabriel had reached home more elated than tired. Finally, the foreigners were
in the country and before the week ended, the contract would have been signed.
"Perhaps whatever Tania did wasn't bad after all", his mind thought. No, he
wasn't going to think of Tania tonight, not tonight. And just like always, he
believed she had no right to have burnt those documents.
That girl was a picture of deception; she looked fragile, broken and harmless
but when she had you in her grip, she became a viper that spat her venom.
"Despite what you think, your heart still beats for her", his heart had said. Well
no matter how much his crazy heart beats for her, she'd never know and loving
her again would be a blind mistake.
"You never stopped loving her, Angel. You are just angry and hurt, that's all",
his heart had responded once more. Okay, that was enough for the night. He
wasn't going to get his mood spoiled by thinking of Tania, he could do that any
other day but just not tonight.
On reaching the living room, he realised his family had decided to have a late
dinner tonight. He got there only to realise his full family was present save for
him, who was standing. Mr Michael Rockson, seeing his son stood up from his
chair and hugged his only son. With so much happiness, Gabriel said, "Welcome
Dad." Father and son were extremely happy to see each other. His son had
become a great young man and nothing completes a father's happiness than
that.
After dinner, they enjoyed some father and son time until Gabriel's dad retired
to bed. Mrs Rockson then took the chance to ask about the young lady living in
the boys' quarters.
"Mum, is there something you wanted help with?" "No son, I just wanted to ask
you something." "Okay, mum". Who's the young lady living in the boys'
quarters?"
Was this a conspiracy of some sort? The idea of Tania had just chosen today to
compete with his happiness. Gabriel couldn't keep his mum waiting because if
he did, she'd figured out they had a history. Mothers and their sense of
knowingness just couldn't be avoided.
"Umm , Tania is just a final year college student who needed a place to stay until
she completes." That was believable right and he wasn't lying ", Gabriel thought.
Mrs Rockson, a behavioural psychologist could tell from his son's speech and
actions that there was more to what he just said.
She was going to find out somehow but now she let her son go. "Okay son, you
could invite her to join us for dinner one of these days." Mrs Rockson quickly
noticed the change in her son's expression before he responded. "Okay mum",
with that Gabriel took the stairs to his room before any more questions.
When he'd get to his room, he quickly showered, put on some pyjamas and laid
on his bed. The thought of Tania wouldn't leave him today, would it? He comes
home and his mum interrogates him about 'the lady living in the boys' quarters'
who is no other than Tania; the one reason why his family couldn't make it to
the country as scheduled and were almost put in danger.
“Mum wants me to invite her for dinner ", he chuckled at that thought. Yet, he
couldn't deny how he'd tried not to spill everything about Tania to her mum, it
was as if he needed to protect her or perhaps it would be better if they didn't
find out she was the cause of their postponed flight. Enough thinking about the
whole situation, Gabriel decided to scroll through his phone. He suddenly
stopped when he reached the only pic he had of Tania and him.
He remembered the day vividly; it was a not so sunny day and he and Tania had
taken a walk around her college. Somehow, he'd been dressed in an all-white
men's casual wear with a pair of black sneakers. Tania, on the other hand, had
been in a black jumpsuit with a white pair of sandals. Tania, with a love for
photography, kept taking pictures of Gabriel wherever they went. At last,
Gabriel had gotten hold of Tania's camera and taken a picture of both of them.
They looked good together. Due to the colours of their clothes, Tania decided
they hash tagged the pic, "SO BLACK AND WHITE" and that had become the
name of the pic.
On the low, he'd kept that pic till now. Perhaps, it was one of the two special
moments he'd shared with Tania when she wasn't being a hurricane or
manipulating others. "Look at you, you look so bright that it hurts", Tania had
said feigning pain the eyes. Gabriel had also looked at the pic, seeing Tania in
her all-black attire, he'd said, "You look so dark that it dims my sight." Seeing
Tania's expression change, he laughed hilariously. After reminiscing, Gabriel
shut his phone, staring at the ceiling with all the 'ifs', 'maybes' and 'what ifs'
about he and Tania running through his head. Before he knew it, he'd fallen
asleep.
They thought it was just a name they'd given to a pic due to their attire but that
wasn't it. Providence spoke in many ways and that pic was one of its statements.
Tania felt it was okay being black; manipulative, causing others pain, destroying
every good thing and not thinking about others. Allowing Gabriel in was like
destroying the only defence she knew since he was great, loving person as
compared to her.
Gabriel had accepted Tania for all her flaws, loved her, tried to help only to be
manipulated and hurt in the end. Tania was not ready to change, she found a
kind of joy in hurting others; being with her felt like allowing darkness to take
over his life. He could never forget the smirk on her face when he chanced on
her burning the documents. Both of them could not afford each other in their
lives; one was so black and the other so white.
See, they had tried before, and they almost destroyed each other. They couldn't
be together; it wasn't going to work or perhaps that was their intuition warning
them. They needed each other; they were black and white after all. It was just a
matter of time. They had to learn to appreciate each other.
Sometimes things break down to rise to be only stronger than before and it
wasn't going to be different with Tania and Gabriel.
We all deserve a SECOND CHANCE even if it's TROUBLE in a human form.
4. A DESIRE TO BE FREE
The Friday Before Tania's Family Visit.
It had been two weeks since Tania began to teach Flora. She realized the little
girl was a great student with great artistic skills. Tania had read the essay she
had given Flora and she was highly impressed by her writing skills. This was
what she'd written;
"I'm a bird in a cage and I wish to be free. I want to fly on my own once more and
be who I truly am. My mum and dad love me but their fear runs my life. I know it's
because they almost lost me.
Sometimes love can suffocate and that's what it's happening to me. I'm afraid to
come out of myself. I've been in the cage for a long while that I'm losing pieces of
me. They think it's the trauma from the pool accident but it's hurt to say they are
the ones traumatizing me.
I want to be free and I want to be the Flora, I used to be. Mum and Dad shouldn't
be afraid any more. They don't want to see me hurt and I promise I won't do
anything to hurt me or them.
I'm a bird in a cage and I wish to be free. I'm a songbird, and my voice is yearning
to break out. "
Tania had been right after all; Flora was a caged bird wanting to be free. She
told her that was a very beautiful essay and she shyly said "thanks". Tania had
then begun today's tuition with her. Flora's participation today was great. She
was an exceptional kid who had a vast level of interest from the Arts through
History and finally arriving at the Sciences.
She had hopes of becoming a writer and a songwriter one day. Tania was glad
her tuition with Flora was picking up. This was keeping her mind off her
family's infamous visit tomorrow or at least it tried. After her tuition today,
Tania had to go see Flora's dad. He promised to pay her every fortnight. Today
would be the first time she took her pay.
Finally, Tania closed Flora for the day. She decided to give Flora's essay to her
dad and wished they would understand their daughter. Flora's dad was in the
living room with his wife watching a show. On entering, Tania had spoken to
them about some things concerning their daughter. Before she could start, both
parents got alarmed. She now fully understood what Flora had written about;
their love for her had turned into fear and that wasn't good.
Tania just hoped she wasn't being too nosy. " Mr and Mrs James, um I wanted
to talk to you about Flora. Your daughter is a great student and a very smart
girl. I think she needs friends more than a tutor. She is scared to be herself and
that's where the problem lies. I know I have no right saying what I'm saying but
it's difficult not to notice it when you're around her. The second reason I took
notice is that she reminds me of myself, and I've grown fond of her. Here is an
essay about herself and I think it's only right that you have it. Please don't let
her know I gave it to you."
"Miss Matthews, you've just been teaching our daughter for just two weeks, and
you've noticed all these. I must say your boldness and observations impresses
me though it wounds me a bit. We love Flora very much and almost losing made
us see how life would be without our little flower. We would do everything and
anything possible to keep her from harm's way", Mr James had said.
After that, he brought Tania her pay and without much said, she'd left for
college. She had one very important lecture that day. She hoped after reading
their daughter's essay, they would see what she was talking about. If they
didn't, she would have to wish her job as a tutor farewell.
"You always destroy the good things that come your way", she remembered Mr
Angel oops that mistake again, rather Gabriel telling her that.
What if he'd been right? Even when she tried to help, she always ended up
destroying something. She wished she hadn't made those observations.
Hmmph!
At last, she reached her college. Almost running late, she'd rushed to the lecture
hall. Luckily, the lecture was about to start. There was Anna, seated with all her
attention on the cell phone. As she walked to the empty seat by Anna, she got
the usual look; HERE COMES TROUBLE TANIA; A look she'd grown so much
accustomed to that it lost its effect on her.
Anna put her phone down and smiled at her, " Hey long time no see." After the
two and a half, lectures were over. Tania and Anna had done a bit of catching
up before they parted ways.
"Hope you've been good and staying out of trouble."
"Yeah, I'm trying. Been pretty busy with tutoring Flora and my project."
" How's Mr Angel", Anna had asked.
"Umm, I don't know but I'm sure he's good", Tania answered uneasily.
Tania didn't want any more questions about Gabriel, so she decided to leave.
With that, she had forgotten to tell Anna about her family's visit tomorrow. That
doubled the disaster for tomorrow.
On reaching home, Tania had gone to Gabriel's house to deliver her rent. She'd
forgotten to ask for his account number, so she had to deliver in cash. She
knocked once on the door, and someone came to open the door. The lady looked
like she'd be in her mid-forties.
Looking critically, she bore some resemblance to the young girl who had
brought her juice when she' moved in.
"Hi Ma'am, I was wondering if I could see Mr Angel, umm sorry I meant Gabriel.
Is he by any chance around?"
The young lady before her had called his son Mr Angel and quickly corrected
herself. She noticed that she was trying so much not to make eye contact. Mrs
Rockson invited her in.
"You must be Tania. My son mentioned you to me on one occasion."
Okay, that made Tania very uneasy. What had Gabriel told his mum?
"The evil we do run after us like dark shadows."
Tania's mind had chosen that specific moment to recall that adage. Her timing
was impeccable, as always! She just hoped that 'one occasion' hadn't been about
the danger she had almost caused his family.
Why was the young lady before her so nervous? Why was trying so hard not to
look at her? Had it got something to do with her son?
"Ma'am please when Mr Angel comes, please give this to him. Sorry, but I have
to rush back", Tania had chosen to escape.
Mrs Rockson had noticed more than enough to boldly say there was or had
been a history between his son and the young lady who had just left in a rush,
and they were both trying hard to conceal the issue.
"Hmmm 'Mr Angel', quite intriguing", she'd thought.
After leaving Gabriel's mum in her living room, Tania had walked into the boys'
quarters. That was Gabriel's mum. She hadn't expected to meet her like this.
And what was wrong with her; she kept calling Gabriel, Mr Angel. His mum had
been polite and nice and she on other hand had acted all confused. His mum had
been polite but for how long; when she finds out what Tania had almost done,
would she still be nice to her, or she would rather kick her out of her home. For
now, Tania couldn't answer those questions.
Thinking back, she'd know her silly manipulations had gone far but the change
was a long journey ahead. Somehow, she'd known what Anna would say after
asking her about Gabriel.
"You could have been good together if you'd tried not to do what you do best
but no you had to be Tania, Trouble Tania."
That would have made her feel a thousand more worse and they would have
ended up talking about the confidential case of Eli Mintah.
Half-past six, Gabriel was on his way home from the office. The contract had
been signed. All his toil had paid off. The execution of the contract would start
in three months from now. For now, they'd stay in touch with everyone who
had a role to play in the contract becoming a reality as well as getting the
equipment and machines ready.
Dinner was set at the usual time and today Gabriel had arrived on time. After
dinner, Gabriel and his family had a small family time before they'd all
dispersed to their room. Mum and Dad had watched some few shows before
Mrs Rockson decided to go upstairs to see his son.
"Hi son, can I come in?" Gabriel told her she could.
"Tania came by today to give you this", she'd said as she handed it to him.
Gabriel, looking a bit surprised took the envelope and placed it on his bed. He
raised his head only to see his mum staring knowingly at him.
"Why does she call you Mr Angel", his mum had asked. OMG!!
Countless times, he'd told she wasn't Mr Angel, but Gabriel and she kept on
calling him Mr Angel whether consciously or not. How was he going to tell his
mum that without including their history?
At least, he could try. "Umm, I don't really know why but ever since we met,
that's how she calls no matter how many times I tell her that my name is
Gabriel", he'd answered while detaching himself from his emotions.
"I see, that's interesting. Are you guys seeing each other?", Mrs Rockson had
enquired.
"No mum, we are not dating." She could feel it, the 'no' was full of hurt, anger
and guilt and her son didn't try hiding it, unlike all the other times when he'd
tried managing his emotions and words.
Birds don't just fly; they fall down and get up.
5. OOH-ANA
The Family Visit
Tania couldn't sleep that night; the possible scenes that could happen the next
day when her family arrived continued to play before her eyes. She tried
everything she could to get her mind off the visit, but nothing could take away
the upcoming event.
Finally, she gave up trying anything to forget about tomorrow. Tomorrow
would come and she couldn't change that. The Matthews family were arriving
tomorrow midday to see their daughter and only God could stop that meeting.
Tania didn't want to think too much about it. Her family was coming to visit and
no matter what happened, be it the good, bad or even the ugly, she had to face
them.
With that conclusion, she had gone to bed or at least she made an effort to. It
was going to be a very long night and tomorrow would be one of the longest
days of her life. Tania had woken up at half-past eight looking very disheveled.
Today was the day and Tania couldn't wait for it to be over. Just on cue, her
mum had called.
"Hello Tania, hope you're good. We can't wait to see you. We'd be there in three
hours."
The visit was coming off after all. By 9:30, she'd rounded up her chores. After
having her breakfast and taking her bath, she settled in her couch. The day
seemed to be moving the slowest as she thought about it. Mum and Dad with
their lovely Jenna and Derry were on their way to visit her. "How amazing!!, she
thought. It was half-past ten now and she was still expectant.
Suddenly, it dawned on her; her family was coming to her college to visit,
specifically at her hostel where she was no longer a resident, thanks to her
infamous troublesome nature. Another mistake of hers to get her into the bad
books of her dad. She tried calling Anna, but the calls went unanswered.
Unknown to Tania, her family had arrived at the college, gone to her hostel, only
to be told Tania Matthews was no longer a resident of that hostel due to her
appalling misconduct.
"Mr Matthews, I'm sorry to inform you that your daughter is no longer a
resident of this hostel and as it stands due to her frequent misbehaviour, she's
been made a non-resident on this campus. "
Mr Matthew didn't utter a word as he listened to her daughter's predicament
and infamous attitude being repeated to him.
"For how long has she been made a non-resident on this campus?", Mr
Matthews demanded bitterly.
"I suppose it's been two years now", replied the dean of the hostel.
He then added, "Tania has a friend by the name, Anna. I believe she'd know
where your daughter is living now."
......In Anna's Hostel......
Today was Saturday, Anna had just wanted to sleep half the day away. The
previous week had taken a toll on her. But today had a lot of plans that she had
a role to play in it. The dean had called her informing her to come to his office
within 10 minutes.
Just like that, Anna's dream sleep had ended. She just hoped it wasn't a serious
issue. She tried remembering the most inappropriate behaviour she had shown
recently but there was none. Okay, so then maybe, it wasn't about seriously
misbehaving.
With that, she rushed out of her room and quickly headed to the dean's office.
On reaching there, she'd see four different faces.
"Um, good morning, sir, you requested my presence in your office. Is anything
the matter?", Anna had asked.
"Miss Anna, there's no problem. This is Mr Matthews, his wife and his children.
They came here to visit their daughter, Tania Matthews who happens to be your
friend. As it stands, Tania is not a member of this hostel or any of the hostels on
campus due to her frequent misconduct. Do you have any idea where she is
staying now Miss Anna?"
Tania was in big trouble!!
How on earth had Tania forgotten to inform her that her family was visiting this
weekend? How come she hadn't told them about her expulsion from the
campus hostels?
A lot was running through Anna's head but there was little to do to save her
friend from the impending danger.
"Miss Anna?"
Anna's thoughts were brought back to Tania's family.
"Yes Sir, I know where she's staying and I can take Tania's family there ", Anna
had replied appearing conflicted.
With the stern look Mr Matthews had been sending her direction, she concluded
that her phone was not very important at the moment. Tania was a photocopy
of Mr Matthews and anyone who knew Tania would say same. She'd decided to
go with them.
Thank God, she'd put on an attire she could take out of the school. Following
Mr Matthews and his family into his Range Rover, they left the campus. With
Anna's direction, they had reached Gabriel's house.
No one had spoken in the car though everyone realized Mr Matthews had been
burning with fury.
Tania could sense trouble was on its way coming. Though she called several
times, Anna was not answering her calls. She didn't want to grow panicky, but
she couldn't help it. What if her parents had found out about her expulsion and
how for two years, she'd been deceiving them?
She knew she had to tell them a long time ago, but she always managed to brush
it off. Tania couldn't stay in the room any longer, so she got out. The suspense,
the heat and the mistake she had made were all joining to kill her.
Gabriel had just been returning from a morning jog when he noticed Tania
rambling through the compound. Something heavy seems to be on her mind.
The look on her face was that of fear and regret.
"Regret about what?", he couldn't tell. He wanted to approach her and ask what
the matter was, but as always when it concerned Tania, he became highly
conflicted. Before he could reach a decision, a black sleek Range Rover was
approaching the gates of the house.
After being enquired by the security personnel, the car was allowed into the
house. Gabriel wondered who had come to visit his family. He assumed perhaps
it was one of his father's friends.
Just then, the group in the car got down. Tania had seen the car come. It looked
very familiar. Then she'd remembered that it resembled her father's new car.
She thought the owner of the car had been a visiting friend of Gabriel's family.
Immediately, the group got down, Tania knew it was her family, the Matthews.
Mrs Matthews stood there with a painful look of her mother towards a child
who never brought her peace. Her dad had his usual stern look that was always
directed her way but today it carried some amount of intensity and fury.
Jenna looked pitifully at her older sister and Derry stared at her with no look of
surprise; this should have been expected after all. For heaven's sake, it involved
no one other than his troublesome sister.
There had been someone standing close to Jenna; Anna. The look Anna was
sending her way seemed to say; "This doesn't look good".
Anna seemed to be asking Tania a whole lot of questions without saying a word,
knowing very well that the answers she'd wanted would have to come later.
Gabriel noticed a striking resemblance between the older man who had just
gotten out of the driver's seat of the black sleek Range Rover and someone he
knew. Feeling an urge, he turned to take a look at Tania and there, he knew who
looked like the man in the suit. There was no mistaking that the man was
Tania's father. He watched as others descended from the car. One looked
familiar; the night Tania had moved into the boys' quarters of his home, she'd
help her.
What was her name again? Sarah or Anna, he wasn't sure which. Each member
of the group had a peculiar look directed at Tania; from anger to pain, then pity,
nonchalance then settling at a sense of helplessness.
What did Tania do this time to have each member of the group with varied
expressions her way?
He didn't like the looks; as sad as it was, it was a look directed at a black sheep;
one who always brought disgrace to his or her family. He had known Tania for
a while now and this moment was one of the few times, he saw her with an
expression of pain.
Immediately, she expressed that emotion, so had it been quickly replaced by a
nonchalant behaviour.
No one was talking; everyone had been speaking with their looks. It was
unnerving even for Gabriel who was not even playing a role but just observing.
"Hello?" This had been more of a question being whispered than a greeting.
"Tania Jade Matthews! What exactly is your problem? Why are you causing this
family so much headache? I can't believe you got expelled in your second year
of college because you won't stop getting into trouble. And of course, you didn't
think it wise to inform your dad and me. “
“Why can't you just be like Jenna, for heaven's sake? Your little sister is in her
third year and she's the president of her college. She's calm, obedient and does
not bring disgrace to the family as you do ", Mrs Matthews had said with pain.
There, it was again. Even in scolding, she had to be compared with sweet Jenna.
"I'm sorr....." Before, Tania could say one of her careless "I'm sorries", Mr
Matthews had lost his anger and hit her daughter for the first time in a long
while. The last time he did, Tania had been ten. Everyone there had been
shocked. Mr Matthews was not one to easily lose his calm.
"Don't you dare say 'I'm sorry' because you're not. Sometimes, I wonder if
you're truly my daughter. All you do is to just bring me headaches and disgrace.
Do you know how embarrassing I felt to be told that my daughter had gotten
herself expelled from the college's hostels? You made me look like an
irresponsible father who did not train his kid well just because you've decided
for the rest of your life, you will never do the right thing.”
Listen to me carefully, Tania because I'm not going to repeat myself. If you think
you want to live your life just as you want and bring disgrace to this family, I'm
not going to think twice about disowning you. The ball is in your court, so you
decide. You know how proud I feel about Jenna and Derry, I can't say that about
you. Your siblings don't bring me headaches, they make me proud to be called
a father but you, you just bring pain to my heart."
With that, Mr Matthews shook his head and with all the calmness he could
summon, he told his wife and two children that it was time to leave. Mrs
Matthews wanted to reach out to her daughter, but she knew it was time Tania
understood that the choices she made in life had consequences that affected
others. She took one look at her daughter and entered the car. Derry and Jenna
wanted for the first time to reach out to Tania, their troublesome sister but
none did.
Tania was on the verge of breaking down: an explosion of pain, regrets and
rejection.
Tania's family had left without a word to her. There were no goodbyes; they
had just left. That's how bad she thought they hated her or didn't even want her.
For now, she held on to that thought. Dad had slapped her; she couldn't believe
it had happened. With her hand on her right cheek, she couldn't cry, or she
didn't want to try.
After her dad had slapped her, Tania was lost in thought. She was standing here
right in front of her family, but her mind wandered into the past.
Growing up, she'd been Dad's favourite. It was not because she'd been a
photocopy of her dad; Tania had a curious little mind growing up and was
always seen with her dad asking all the 'whys and whats' a young child of her
age would be asking and more.
She also had a thing for causing trouble and not feeling remorseful. At age nine,
Tania had done something that had caused her dad to be seriously angry with
her.
Tania had pushed a boy into the pool because he'd called her an 'ugly beast' and
everyone had been laughing at her.
The little boy, not knowing how to swim had almost drowned. The authorities
at the lounge had called Tania's parents and informed them about the situation.
The boy had been taken to the hospital and his parents had been informed. The
boy had been out of danger, thanks to the timely admission to the hospital.
This, however, did not stop the boy's parents from lashing out on Tania's
parents. On reaching home, Tania was scolded by her parents, but she didn't
even show a sign of remorse.
Then one day, as Tania had been playing with Jenna, she'd hit her very hard, all
because Jenna had refused to give her doll to Tania. Jenna had called her an ugly
beast and there, she'd pushed her onto the floor. Mr Matthews had seen it all
happened and the smirk on Little Tania's face was that of joy found in hurting
her sister.
Tania's dad had entered the room, pulled little Tania away and spanked her.
She'd cried not because the spanking hurt but because her dad had been the
one to hit her, then walked towards Jenna. As he sent Jenna along with him on
a trip which he planned for Tania, he said to her:
"People who hurt others have no friends. Nobody likes them and they end up
alone in this world."
Tania had been left on her own that day.
All this while, Gabriel stood a little farther from the scene. He hadn't decided to
watch but he had after all.
He'd gotten a glimpse into a part of Tania's life. Tania was treated as a black
sheep of her family. From the little he had observed from the scene that
occurred in his compound, Tania had been compared to her siblings and he
could bet this wasn't the first time.
Some of the things that were said to her were heartbreaking. But who was he
to judge; the words had been spoken out of pain and he knew pretty well how
those words could stab. He'd seen the look on Tania's face when her father had
slapped her.
Just like everyone who'd been there, he was shocked. Then, just like that, her
family had left. The only one who had stayed was Anna.
Gabriel had seen the look on Tania's mum's face; a look of a mother wanting to
reach out to her daughter no matter her crime. That same look had been on her
siblings' face too, but they had all left. He tried hard not to judge them, as he'd
done the same several times and even now as he thought over the recent
happenings, he fought the urge to move to where she stood to embrace her. He
knew how strong-willed Tania was, and right now, she'd been holding the tears
back with all her will and trying hard not to replay the scene.
Tania had been expecting a lot to happen today. What she hadn't expected was
the slap from her dad, likewise, the fact that her dad had said he wasn't proud
to be called her father.
It'd hurt a thousand more trying not to think about it. She'd gone blank and stiff.
"Nice way of introducing my ohana to you, don't you think, Anna", Tania had
uttered in a shaky voice.
The tears were threatening to come. Anna didn't want to utter a word. She knew
how well Tania hated being pitied. Anna hugged her on the spot; Tania didn't
want to move; her nerves had stopped reacting. Anna still kept her in the
embrace. Tania closed her eyes and breathed deeply with all her strength.
That's how she handled pain; she would inhale deeply and allow the pain settle
in her heart. She didn't fight the pain, she didn't let go of it, she just embraced
it, all of it.
She'd opened her eyes only to meet the eyes of Gabriel staring pitifully at her.
Then, a tear escaped. She couldn't stay out here anymore. She had to escape
that look before the tears fell. She'd broken the hug with Anna and suggested
they went inside.
Anna nodded in the affirmative. Tania didn't just want to leave the compound;
she'd wanted to escape the pitiful eyes of Gabriel.
She hurried into the boys' quarters before she could hear Gabriel's voice calling
her; "Tania, wait."
Anna heard the voice and realized the other reason Tania wanted to be inside
her room; Mr Angel. He'd seen it all and heard it all too. After all, it'd happened
on his compound. Anna had seen him earlier when she'd stepped out of the car,
but it just dawned on her that Mr Angel had seen everything that happened
today.
And just like her, he'd felt sorry for Tania despite everything she'd done to him.
Gabriel stood there not knowing whether to move closer to where Tania had
been standing. He'd heard her try to make a joke out of the situation, yet he
could sense the pain in her voice.
Then her friend without a word had pulled her into her arms.
Still, with his eyes fixed on Tania, he'd seen how unmoving she'd become even
when her friend hugged her. Then he'd see her do it again when she didn't want
to confront the pain; she'd closed her eyes, taken a very deep breath and
accepted the pain within.
Now, like always, she didn't fight the pain, rather she became one with it. Then
she'd opened her eyes only to meet his, then a tear escaped. He'd known she
wouldn't stay after that; she would run and run she did. She ran before he'd
said: "Tania, wait."
Just then, her friend had turned to see him, and it had clicked that Gabriel had
seen the encounter between Tania and her parents. She'd also walked into the
boys' quarters. He'd wanted to follow suit but decided against it; Tania had
Anna. She could console her, and she was better than him when it came to doing
that.
Unlike him, she didn't hold anything against her. He wasn't going to play the
hypocrite; Tania had hurt him so much and he wasn't going to pretend he'd
forgiven her in a moment of a second just because she was hurting now.
He was a human after all, not an angel.
6. WOUNDED BIRDS IN FLIGHT
Tania had heard Gabriel call her, right before she entered the room. She had no
plans of returning outside. She almost broke down and let the tears flow, only
because her eyes had met his.
She moved away before Gabriel could try to approach her. She and Gabriel had
a strained relationship thanks to her.
The only relationship standing between them was that of a landlord and a
tenant. She had seen the pity in his eyes and she hated it.
He was the last person, she wanted pity from. She preferred his look of anger
and even worse his look of disgust but his look of pity, no, it had the power to
crumble her stronghold.
Besides, he had no right feeling pity for her; it made her feel weak and rejected.
Tania didn't need Gabriel's pity.
She had brought this to herself. He'd been right after all; nothing good lasted
with her. It always got damaged.
Her dad losing his control like that, was clear proof. Maybe she's the devil
betrothed after all, she'd thought as she cleaned her teary eyes and breathed in.
"You do know you just ran off from your landlord.", Anna had said to ease the
mood in the room.
"Did I? I'm sure he's pretty pissed right now. Geez, I just signed my evacuation
letter. It'd be a miracle if I last tonight here ", Tania said with forced humour.
Anna had settled beside her on the couch as they watched a movie on Tania's
laptop. Anna had fallen asleep while they were in the fourth movie.
They'd already taken supper. As they watched the movies, Anna kept taking
glances at Tania but not once did her eyes leave the screen. Tania had pulled
through the first movie but on the second and third, she had just watched the
screen, not paying attention to the characters.
By the time, they reached the fourth movie, Anna had fallen asleep on her laps.
Tania couldn't pretend anymore; she couldn't hold it in anymore. It'd started
with deep breaths and soon the tears flowed in silent sobs. These tears wanted
to flow and they had. Anna had heard the silent sobs. Finally, Tania had stopped
fighting and allowed the tears to flow.
Anna wanted to open her eyes and console her friend, but she didn't. Tania had
to do this on her own before help followed. She had to know it was okay feeling
pain and letting it all out.
She had to realize that it didn't make her weak; it made her rather human. It
was time she let it all out; keeping the pain within was destroying her. Anna had
been glad she shed the tears she had been holding in.
Tania was a diamond in the rough; shaping the rough edges would hurt but then
in the end, it'd be worth it.
Gabriel had finally gotten into his room. Today had been painful even for him.
Knowing Tania, she would do anything to suppress the pain. He now knew why
Tania had been feeling all those emotions when he'd jogged into the house.
Tania's family seemed like the usual almost perfect family with the usual misfit
of a child ruining it all.
Why was he still thinking about what had happened like he cared?
He wasn't going to admit it, but he did. Being compared with others usually
made one timid or rebellious; with Tania, it had been the latter. He suspected
that was one of the reasons for her being who she was now.
She didn't want to be like her siblings and trying hard not to be them, she lost
herself. He'd seen the shock and pain on Tania's face when her dad hit her.
Then she'd lost it; Tania had been standing there in front of her family but her
look was that of one walking back into the past. The shock on her mother and
siblings' faces suggested this was the first time Tania's dad had slapped her.
Who could blame the old man? The pain caused by a child could make a father
say and do the unthinkable.
Tania had told him that she'd been expelled from her hostel but she'd never
mentioned it had happened in her second year of college.
She'd never mentioned that her expulsion was from all the hostels on campus.
Tania had always been trouble, but he'd never thought it went beyond when
they met. Tania had swallowed the pain like she always did but this time,
Gabriel had prayed that she'd let the pain out. That prayer had done it; Tania
had cried that night but none of them would know it'd been a prayer of a lover
for a loved one that had gotten answered. Throughout dinner that night, Gabriel
couldn't eat much. For more than one occasion, he was lost in thought during
dinner. His mum had noticed but decided she was going to let him be.
Then, Mr Rockson had noticed the strange silence of his son, "Son, is everything
alright? You seem awfully quiet today."
"Um, I'm okay dad. Just a bit preoccupied.", Gabriel had replied.
That evening, he left the dinner table quite early. Mrs Rockson had tried hard
to let his son be but the motherly instinct kept kicking at her to check up on his
son.
The behavioural psychologist had decided to wait till the son came to her for
help. The mother, on the other hand, had to go see her son purely out of
motherly concern. She'd knocked on the door and her son had ushered her in.
She'd sat on the bed, then looked critically at her son.
"Do you want to talk about what's bothering you?"
With that Gabriel sighed. Right this moment, Mr Rockson wanted to be Gabriel's
mother and not the renowned behavioural psychologist.
"No mum, I'm just stressed. I would be fine by tomorrow. "
"Okay son, then I guess I would leave you to sleep."
Before Mrs Rockson had closed the door behind him, her son had blurted out,
"How do you help a wounded bird which more than once has bitten you?"
Gabriel's mum had re-entered the room and responded,
" Which answer do you seek; a mother's or a psychologist?"
"Both", Gabriel had replied with a sigh.
" From a mother's view, I tell you this:
You can't help the bird if you're hurt yourself. So you don't. Hurting people hurt
people. With that, you stay far away from the wounded bird and get rid of the
pain. It doesn't make you selfish or heartless; it just means you've
acknowledged your weakness.
As a psychologist, my advice is this:
First, you must forgive the wounded bird and forgive yourself too, then you can
try helping the wounded bird. Until you forgive yourself and the wounded bird,
you can't be of help. It's a difficult choice but if you're willing to save the
wounded bird, you'd do it."
With that, Mrs Rockson further asked,
"Do you really have to help this wounded bird in question?"
Gabriel looked into his mother's ever-knowing eyes and replied,
"I don't know."
Mrs Rockson saw the conflict within her son's eyes. She was so proud of the
man she'd raised him to be.
Trying to change the topic, he'd asked him if he'd already invited Tania for
dinner. That didn't help, It didn't help at all.
"No mum. I'd forgotten about it", Gabriel answered feeling more disturbed.
How on earth was he going to invite Tania to dinner? Even now, he knew Tania
had no plans of seeing him after today's incident.
"How about you invite her over next week Saturday to have dinner with us?"
He couldn't change his mum's mind when she had her mind made up. In the
end, he'd given up trying.
Somehow, he knew he would have to invite Tania all by himself.
Tania hadn't slept early last night. Fatigue had taken over before she'd been
able to close her eyes. Anna had woken up, prepared breakfast and was now
sitting on one of the couch's pillows enjoying her meal. Tania had finally woken
up.
Tania looked exhausted; the happenings of yesterday had taken a toll on her.
After taking her bath, she'd come to sit by Anna.
No church today; she was still very tired. Hopefully, she would make it next
week. After taking her breakfast, she decided to go through Flora's assignments
and prepare for what she'd teach her the following day.
"Mmmm", Anna cleared her throat and began to speak.
"Tania, I don't know if I have the right to say this but I'm going to anyways
considering I'm your friend. Your family loves you.
Everything your dad said, he did because he was hurt. I know you're hurting
too, though you don't want to show it. They really love you, Tania, they do."
Tania looked at her friend and said sarcastically,
"Of course, they do, Anna. Dad slapped me to show it, remember. He's even
planning to disown me.
Heck! If that's not loving me, then what is. Then her voice became shaky. The
sarcasm was gone.
Countless times, they've compared me to my perfect siblings. Jenna is doing
great at school. For God's sake, she's her college president. Derry just gets
better at his work. He's been promoted for the fourth time.
Nothing I do is good enough. Remember, when I won the award for the best
social psychology student. I got home that vacation ready to let them know, for
the first time, I'd done something right.
I didn't even get the chance to show them. Jenna had done so well in her final
exams that semester and they kept stressing on how great she was.
"Tania, instead of always causing trouble, you can learn from your little sister.
She spends her time doing her best, so she excels, not wasting time in unprofitable
deeds."
“That was it. The award has been hidden in my closet since. You know they
don't see me. All they see is their perfect children, Jenna and Derry. And when
they do see me, all they see is trouble even when I do the right thing."
I'm even surprised they decided to visit me at school, leaving without a word,
that's how great their love is.
I stopped trying to win their love because no matter what I do, I can never be
Jenna or Derry."
Anna didn't know what to say after that. All she did was to console her friend
as she wept.
Mr Matthews was fed up with her rebellious daughter. All she'd done was to
bring him headaches. He'd try understanding her daughter but to no avail.
Tania just loved causing trouble and the worst of it all; she never felt
remorseful. Where had he gone wrong in raising her? Jenna and Derry had
turned out great. They were responsible, caring and law-abiding, not like Tania.
Tania wanted to rebel against everything.
She didn't care that her actions affected others. She lived for herself and no one
else. Yesterday, he'd hit her; something he'd never done with any of his
children.
That's how bad Tania had pushed him. He loved his daughter but he hated
everything she'd turned out to be; a selfish rebellious being. They'd finally
driven back home.
On their way home, nobody wanted to mention the events that ensued this
fateful day. It was a quiet ride home. Jenna and Derry had immediately stepped
out of the car and walked to their rooms. Mr and Mrs Matthews were the only
ones in the car now.
Mr Matthews sighed, "What am I going to do about Tania. No matter what I do,
that girl sees no sense in becoming a responsible person."
Mrs Matthews could see her husband was stressed. Everything that had
occurred was wearing him down. She could see the pain in his eyes; he hadn't
meant to slap her daughter. It had been a father's frustration of failing to set
things right.
"Love, I know how you're feeling. It's just a matter of time. Tania would see she
can't live like that forever. I know how it frustrates you to know that one of your
kids didn't grow to become responsible, it breaks my heart too. Let's give her
time.", Mrs Matthews had comforted her husband.
She hoped in her heart that it wasn't too late for Tania to change. She yearned
for a time to see her three children together.
Maybe it was time she took charge of Tania's situation. Her daughter needed to
get back on course and she was going to make sure of that.
Wounded birds can only help each other when they fly together.
7. AN INVITATION & A CONFESSION
Things had returned to pretty normal. Tania still tutored Flora. The young girl
was opening up to her. These days, she smiled more and also openly expressed
her feelings. Gradually, she was becoming her robust twelve-year-old self. That
made Mr and Mrs James very happy. Their daughter was smiling and full of
energy these days, all thanks to the young lady who they had hired to be her
tutor.
Tania was happy she'd been able to do something right for the first time on her
own. She loved Flora like her own sister.
Speaking of sister, Derry and Jenna had been calling her for a while now but she
decided not to answer any of their calls.
Besides, she knew why they were trying to reach out to her; to apologize on
their dad's behalf. She didn't need their pity and for as long as she could
remember, they had always left her on her own. They say three is a crowd and
she was the third wheel.
She hadn't heard from her dad; what was she expecting. Her mum had called
and she had picked. The call wasn't one of her mother comforting her hurt child
but a call to summon a prodigal daughter back home. Tania had been given no
choice. Home was calling her and she had to attend whether it pleased her or
not.
Some days she fought the urge to cry over what her dad had said to her. No
matter what she did, she would always be the misfit of her family. Other days,
she lost the fight and shed the tears. All she wanted was to belong and be
accepted but that wasn't happening.
Pain could cause a lot of damage; it could alter one's thoughts and perception.
Tania didn't even care anymore if the Matthews loved her or not. She could
survive on her own without their love and acceptance. She didn't want it
anymore. She had decided to lose the battle even before she lost or won.
Not long, she had to leave the James family and attend her lecture that day. The
lecture had finally ended. After going to see her course supervisor with her ongoing project, she left for home.
Home: that word always brought Gabriel to mind. During the past days, she had
a feeling that Gabriel had been wanting to approach her every time they run
into each other but he never did. She didn't know why but she felt, he had
something to say to her. As she approached the boys’ quarters, Gabriel had
finally stopped her.
"Can I speak to you for a moment? ", he'd cleared his throat and asked.
What did she do this time? she'd thought. Tania had nodded her head in
response.
"My mum would like you to have dinner with us tonight, that's if you can."
Tania could not miss the uninterested tone he used. It was obvious he didn't
like the idea and there was little he could do about it. Gabriel's mum seemed to
have taken an interest in her and that made her edgy.
Of course, why would it feel good when she almost cost the woman her life.
Maybe it was time she apologized to Gabriel and his family just like Anna had
suggested. She did not want to look Gabriel in the eye; she could feel his
discomfort about the whole situation.
He didn't want her near, let alone with his family. Yet, Tania had told him, she
would be there. One more reason for Gabriel to hate her. She could have just
said no or something came up which would have at least made Gabriel happy
but no she did otherwise like always.
Gabriel had been surprised by Tania's reply. He'd expected her to find an excuse
not to be at the dinner but that was not what happened. He hid his surprise just
as he showed it.
Luckily, Tania had been avoiding his eyes, so she hadn't seen his surprised look.
This was going to be one hell of a dinner. Gabriel had walked away after
speaking to her.
On entering her room, Tania had slumped into the couch. Today had been one
hectic day. Funny enough, her day was not over. She had a dinner to attend with
the most unusual host; the Rocksons. Aargh, why didn't she say she couldn't
make it?
Well, she had said she would be there and that was it, she had to be there even
if the situation brought her discomfort.
Tania had washed down and prepared something to eat. She still had an hour
before heading to Gabriel's house which was not exactly far as they lived in the
same vicinity. After finishing off some assignments and mailing it to her
lecturers, Tania had gone into the bedroom to change into something more
presentable.
She had opted for a navy-blue casual dress and a black pair of flats. She looked
herself in the mirror and had to close her eyes to breathe; This is a big mistake.
It was written all over her face. She still had time to change her mind.
Problem was that she was as stubborn as a mule and her mind had been made
up; Tania was gracing the dinner with her presence.
It was fifteen minutes to eight and Gabriel still wondered if Tania would make
it for his family dinner. He couldn't stop glancing at the time. Not that he cared
if she came or not. But did he not care?
Perhaps, he didn't want to see his mum disappointed and that was the only
reason why he'd wished for Tania to come as promised. He knew there were
other reasons; reasons he didn't want to admit to himself let alone others.
Gabriel's whole family had been around. The dinner table was set with all the
food, Gabriel's mum had prepared.
Finally, the clock struck eight. It was time to face the Rocksons even the one
who had made it clear that he wasn't exactly thrilled about tonight's dinner.
Tania had stepped out of the boys' quarters very anxious about what could
happen tonight at Gabriel's family dinner, yet she still moved towards the
house. After standing by the doors for five minutes trying not to run, Tania
pressed the doorbell. "This is it", she thought.
Mrs Rockson had attended to the door. She'd opened to see Tania standing
there with worry on her face as she tried hard to smile.
"Good evening, Tania, I'm glad you could make it for dinner. Welcome to my
humble home."
Gabriel's mum had then led Tania into her home. All Tania could do was bite
hard on her lips and say thanks.
She alone knew that by the end of tonight's dinner, she would have made more
enemies in the Rocksons' family.
On reaching the living room, she'd met Sharon with a little girl sitting by her
which she knew would be Gabriel's youngest sister.
Both sisters looked curiously at her, and Tania felt they knew what she'd done
to their family. Sharon was asked to get Gabriel from his room since dinner was
about starting.
On reaching downstairs, Gabriel had caught the sight of Tania. She made it after
all. When their eyes met, Tania had swallowed a lump which she wasn't aware
had been in her throat and said,
"Hi."
Gabriel had responded more to himself than her. Mrs Rockson had returned to
the living room summoning everyone to the dinner table. After everyone was
seated, dinner was served. Gabriel's whole family was at the table including Mr
Rockson who Tania thought looked pretty serious. Everyone had consumed his
food satisfactorily.
Gabriel had glanced once or twice at Tania when he thought no one was looking.
Finally, the dinner came to an end. Mrs Rockson stopped Tania from helping
clear the plates.
"Don't you worry about it. You're my guest. Sharon will help me do that."
It was time for the delayed confession and apology. Tania had requested to
speak to Gabriel and his parents. Sharon and Keren had already retired to their
rooms.
Gabriel was curious about why Tania had requested to speak to him and his
parents.
"Mr and Mrs Rockson, thank you for inviting me to dinner. I had a great
evening."
"The pleasure was all mine", Mrs Rockson had replied.
Finally, this evening was over, Gabriel released his breath. Then Tania spoke
again, "Mrs Rockson, I owe you and your family an apology."
Gabriel's eyes immediately found Tania's face. What the heck was she doing?
This time, Tania didn't look away; she'd looked straight into Gabriel's eyes.
"I apologize for almost putting your family's life in danger. I deliberately set
your tickets on fire to spite Mr Ang...... Gabriel", she quickly corrected herself.
Before she could go on, Mrs Rockson had interrupted. "You did what?" That had
caused Tania to shift her attention to Mr and Mrs Rockson.
Mrs Rockson had gradually directed her look to his son. There was no denial in
his eyes; Tania had indeed burnt his parents and sisters' tickets.
Right till now, Gabriel's dad had been silent through Tania's confession.
Before Mrs Rockson could let Tania know how angry and hurt she was, her
husband spoke. "Gabriel, was this the reason why our trip was delayed?"
Mr Rockson had been surprised by the young lady's confession. He'd thought
her to be a calm respectable young woman but then again looks had proven to
be quite deceiving. He remembered his son had kept him informed about the
tickets and when he'd finally managed to obtain them.
Mr Rockson had been relaxed that his family would soon travel back to Ghana
until the security issues in the UK was solved. It would also give him ample time
to check on his businesses in Ghana. Gabriel had called him the following week
to tell him there had been a problem with their tickets and as a result, their trip
to Ghana would be delayed.
Before he'd further asked his son what exactly the problem was, he was called
into an urgent meeting. Gabriel had gotten them a new set of tickets, and all was
settled.
"Gabriel, was this the reason why our trip was delayed?" Gabriel knew he had
to answer the question. "Yes, Dad."
This was not the end of it. He owed his dad a lot of explanations. With that, his
father had spoken the last words to end this evening.
"Miss Matthews, I believe this is not the right time for such an apology. It's
already late. I expect to see you very soon and I demand explanations for your
delinquency.
Your immaturity almost caused my family's life and that is not a light matter.
And as for you Gabriel, you owe me explanations for such carelessness on your
part. Your lack of prioritization almost caused damage to this family.
For now, make sure to see this young lady back the boys' quarters where she's
staying."
With that said, Mr Rockson walked his wife into their sleeping quarters leaving
Gabriel and Tania alone in the living room.
Tania had caused more harm than good once again. She'd thought her apology
could make her feel better but now she felt worse than before.
Gabriel was now in trouble with his dad. Setting those tickets on fire had been
to spite Gabriel but now that action of hers was causing turmoil between father
and son. She was truly trouble personified. It never got better. It just had to get
worse.
"Gabriel, I didn't mean........" Before she could continue, Gabriel had harshly
interrupted.
"I need to get some rest. So please let's go."
With that, Tania walked out of the room with Gabriel. The air outside was very
cold. How well it fitted their present situation.
As they almost reached the boys quarters, Tania spoke once more.
"Gabriel, I'm sorry. I was just trying to apologize to your family. I didn't mean
to turn your dad against you."
Gabriel just shook his head. Tania didn't know when to stop. She didn't get the
statement; Enough was enough!
Gabriel was angry and frustrated. Ever since he met Tania, it's been one trouble
after the other.
"Are you truly sorry? Is this the reason why you accepted the dinner invitation;
to cause my parents to spite me? Did you even think this through?
Of course not, all you think about is your bloody self; just you and no one else.
All you do is cause pain.
Love must really be blind for me to have fallen hard for you even with your
manipulative ways.
Honestly, I'm sick and tired of all your troubles. Have a goodnight "
Once that was said, Gabriel headed back into the house. Tania walked into the
boys' quarters and headed straight for her bed. She didn't want to think about
the events of the evening, no she couldn't.
With her eyes closed tightly as she tried hard to erase the events from her mind,
all she succeeded at doing was letting the tears fall. She remembered Gabriel's
words that pierced her shattered pieces of a heart;
" Love must really be blind for me to have fallen hard for you even with your
manipulative and selfish ways."
Perhaps love was truly blind. She wasn't worth the trouble. Heck, she was
trouble enough.
Mistakes and offences can be forgiven but they cannot be undone,
likewise the consequences.
8. A PLACE LIKE NO OTHER
Mrs Matthews had constantly reminded Tania about the visit home throughout
the following week. She'd called her daughter each day to know when she
would be coming home. Her daughter was going to listen to her whether she
liked it or not.
Tania was getting frustrated with the numerous calls from her mum. She had
told her she would be home one of the days yet the pestering didn't stop. She
wanted to be left alone but her mum couldn't accept that. Her mum wanted her
home by the end of the week.
The meeting with Mr Rockson would have to wait. Tania had decided to leave
the Thursday of that week. The Rocksons had not been home the time she left.
She had given the security guard a small note to be delivered to Mr Rockson. By
mid-afternoon, Tania was on a bus home with a few things packed in her
backpack.
Finally, the bus had reached her neighbourhood.
Tania had stepped down from the bus and continued the journey home on foot.
From the bus stop to her house was a short walk. The street was empty like
always. Each family spend most of their time indoors unless it was a
Saturday. On reaching her family's house, Tania had stood outside for a while
before pressing the bell. Like all the other times, she came home for
holidays, the feeling of unbelonging overwhelmed her.
It was The Matthews Residence alright, clear as the tag that displayed the name
of the family that lived there. Yet, it had been a long while since Tania could call
this place her home. Coming there every time felt like the return of the prodigal
child.
"There's no place like home ", Tania had whispered ironically to herself.
The security guard had opened the door only to find the rebellious daughter of
Mr and Mrs Matthews standing there with her backpack. The look on her face
showed Tania had been less happy to be home. Knowing her, the security guard
knew without a doubt that she had been summoned home.
"Welcome home, Tania. It's been a while", the security guard said with a smile.
"Thanks, Uncle Ben", Tania replied with a forced smile. "Is anyone home?"
That question had become an unconscious part of Tania since high school and
now she continued to ask every time she came home.
Uncle Ben shook his head and informed her about her mum and younger
sister's trip to the market. Gabriel and her dad were still at work.
She had been glad no one was home. Tania had gone straight into her room and
slumped into her bed.
An hour later, Mrs Matthews and Jenna had arrived from the market. The
security guard informed her about her daughter's arrival. All her constant
pestering had paid off. Aah, the whims of a mother!
After everything was sent into the kitchen, Mrs Matthews had gone to check on
Tania only to find her asleep.
"She must be tired from the trip back home", Mrs Matthews reasoned. Tania's
mum and her sister had gone ahead to prepare supper.
By the time Tania had woken up from her nap, supper was ready. She entered
the kitchen to see both her sister and mum preparing to set the food in the
dining room.
"Hi Mum, Hello Jenna " Tania had helped take the food to the dining room.
Derry and her dad were already seated at the dining room. Dinner that night
had been a silent affair. Though each member of her family seemed to send a
glance her way, Tania didn't for once look up. She'd been the first to finish her
supper. After washing her plates, she'd returned to her room.
Not long, supper had been over. Mr Matthews had gone to his study. Mrs
Matthews and her other two children had remained in the living room.
"Trouble Tania is home", Derry had stated. Jenna had responded with a nod of
her own. Mrs Matthew had given her son and younger daughter a strong look
that had them scurrying for their rooms. The teasing had to stop.
Tania had been doing some work on her laptop when her mum had knocked on
her door. She couldn't stand the way everyone had treated her during dinner.
No one even asked how her trip from school had been. All they did was send
glances her way. She felt like an intruder in her own home with her own
family. Now, she regretted coming home.
She finally opened the door on the second knock. Mrs Matthews entered her
older daughter's room, only to find little tears in her eyes.
"Mum, can I help you with anything? "
"No my dear, I came to talk with you."
Tania didn't like the sound of that. Each time, her mum had the 'talk' with her,
it was to remind her how different and lacking she was. Each time, she had
caused serious trouble, they talked, and in the end, it was always about her little
sister was a better example than her.
She expected the same today but Mrs Matthews was on a mission; to make her
family whole and not tear them apart. Tania was a part of the Matthews family
and it was time, she knew that no matter how troublesome she was.
"How are you, Tania? "
Tania was surprised her mum was asking how she was when they were having
the talk.
"I'm fine, mum."
Mrs Matthews intently watched her daughter and spoke once more.
"Ever since you were a child, you had a strong spirit. You were always moving
around causing trouble. You loved your siblings very well, although you
enjoyed playing pranks on them. Your dad and I thought you would outgrow
your rebellious and troublesome attitude, but you didn't.
You grew with it, Tania and that disturbed your dad and me. We tried
everything with you, but it didn't work. Maybe we didn't try harder.
It frustrated us to see that we raised our kids right but you turned out different.
Everyone was complaining about you; our friends, your teachers and all those
who knew Derry, Jenna and you.
We stopped taking you out on short trips with us because we didn't want you
getting into trouble after you pushed that boy into the pool. Sometimes, we got
your siblings little presents for being good, but it did nothing to put you out of
your troublesome behaviour.
We come to visit you at school only to find out you got expelled from the campus
residence in your second year due to your misconduct. Thinking about
everything, I realized we pushed you away. It wasn't our intention to do so, but
trying hard to make you do the right thing, we made you feel unaccepted and
unloved.
You're a young woman now, Tania, not a kid. It's time you make the right
choices in life. It's not too late to change. Deep down, I know you know what's
right and you're my daughter as much as Jenna is.
Your choices affect us as a family. You'll always be part of us. You're a Matthews,
and no matter what, you would always be.
How long do you want to be called rebellious, troublesome and the illmannered daughter of your dad? If you don't want to do it for yourself, do it for
me, do it for your dad as well as the whole family. You're a smart young woman,
Tania at least I know you're. "
Mrs Matthews embraced her daughter. Tania didn't know much she missed her
mum's embrace till she held her mum. Her mum held her tightly with so much
longingness.
"I love you so much, never forget that." Her mum had decided to leave before
the tears fell. On reaching the door, Mrs Matthews had looked up at her
daughter and said,
" I hope someday you make your dad and me very proud just as Derry and Jenna
have done. Goodnight Tania "
She closed the door and headed straight into her bedroom.
Mrs Matthews had found her husband preparing for bed. After a short shower,
she'd joined him in bed.
"I talked with Tania. Our daughter needs to be convinced that she's very much
loved and accepted. She needs to know that everything we do is for her good."
"Is that not what we've been doing all this while? ", Mr Matthews uttered
frustratingly.
"I guess we've got to improvise then. How about you spend some time with her
love. I think it might help", Mrs Matthews had replied.
"So how did your talk go?" "We both know our daughter, let's just hope she
decides to put away her old attitude this time", Mrs Matthews said with a sigh.
"Whenever I think of Tania, I don't seem to find out where we went wrong as
parents. Jenna and Derry turned out very well, but Tania is just something else.
"
Don't worry love, everything would be fine. Tis just a matter of time and Tania
will be home.
After her mum had left her room, Tania returned to doing her assignment. She
couldn't concentrate anymore. A lot was running through her head: family,
Gabriel, more family, more Gabriel. It didn't help that when the time came to
return to school, she would have to face the Rocksons.
She laid on her bed watching the fan spin. It felt like her situation. She had a lot
on her plate, and no one seemed to know. For a while, she had been battling
with herself. The pain was finally getting to her, and she couldn't tell anyone
about it, not that anyone would listen to her. Just like the dinner night with
Gabriel's family and her family's visit, she gave in to the tears. She silently let
them flow till sleep found her.
The Next Morning........
Mr Matthews had decided to stay home today with his family. His workers
could handle the work at the office. It was the end of the week and most of the
work had been sorted out. Yet still, Mr Matthews found himself in his study
going through some files and documents. He could work on them before
breakfast was ready.
Tania had woken up a little early today. She'd gone to the kitchen only to find
her mum with a glass of water. It was too early to start breakfast.
"Tania, could you take the glass of water to your dad. He's in his study." Tania
had taken the tray much to her discomfort.
She wasn't prepared to see her dad but what choice did she have. Lately, she’d
run out of choices.
Mr Matthews had been going through some files when he heard a knock on his
door. "Come in", he'd said to whoever was behind the door. He lifted his head
only to see his older daughter with a glass of water.
"Um dad, here's the glass of water you requested."
"Thanks, you could put it over there ", Tania's dad had replied.
After delivering the glass of water, she'd decided to leave when her dad had
requested to have a word with her.
Without a choice once more, she sat down and listened to what her dad had to
say. The look on her dad's face didn't suggest a very friendly conversation was
about to happen.
"I'm sure your mum has already spoken to you. You're not getting any younger
and it's time you act like a matured responsible individual like your siblings.
Knowledge without character won't get you anyway in life.
You're a Matthews and as long as you are, you must be a person of character.
You've strayed away so long. It's enough. We've all had enough.
The better you start working on your character, the better for all of us. As I told
you earlier, if you don't heed to my advice and change your ways, I would have
to stop being your father before your constant mess ruins my reputation and
that of the family.
Do you understand everything I have said?" Mr Matthews finally concluded.
"Yes dad. May I take my leave?" Tania had answered.
"Yes, you may. "
Later in the morning, breakfast had been prepared and served.
Tania had succeeded in avoiding Jenna an d Derry the whole morning. Apart
from one or two words that were shared amongst them, no long conversation
was held. She was just not in the mood to be chatty, much alone deal with their
pity looks.
By midday, she left for school. Derry had offered to drive her but she declined.
"Thanks, Derry, but I enjoy the bus more." In the bus to school, Tania had many
thoughts running through her head. Her mum wanted her to be a good
daughter; her father wanted her to be a matured responsible individual but
what about what she wanted.
She knew she wasn't the best of daughters. She'd made a lot of wrongs she
needed to right. Right now, she was on the verge of exploding. Once she'd tried
to be better for the one person who had thrown her into an abyss of pain and
destruction.
Someday, she would let it out but till then she had to change her ways or at
least she could try. How could she become something she never desired to be?
She knew it deep down; Tania didn't want the change coming.
9. LONELY SOLITUDE I
On her way back to school, Tania couldn't help but relive certain well-kept
memories. Memories that held the whys and hows to the many questions she
refused to give answers to.
Nobody had to know; it was her lonely solitude.
The only place she could allow herself to see a shadow of what she used to be.
She needed to write to hold herself together.
Writing gave her some sort of peace. Though short-lived, it was enough to hold
everything in place. Now that her world was being turned upside down with an
unwanted change, it felt like everyone thought the puzzles of her life was theirs
to solve; piecing out fragments that'd break the more given the mildest of push
and pull.
After she ended, she read what she'd written and there again, Tania had seen
the usually broken picture of her life.
HEART AT TACK
I think about the thoughts of you
I try to be there on cue
I've messed up
I've broken hearts
But I still ponder
Was it always me
before the dark hues took over
The old image is blurred
None knows the truth
When I picked the pieces up to create
A picture of the old and new
Already flawed
With clawed patience
Pain is the elixir of my world
More pain, more gain
Excruciating happiness
The fire in my blood
The hurt in their eyes
Devices of manipulation
Was it all me
Or the one who turned
And left my heart blue
Reckless, manipulative identity
Now an ugly ghost of myself
Wasn't looking for redemption
Then came you with a situation
Pure wings looking for beauty
In sinister darkness
Tainted blood on both sides
Crushed and impaired
Side effects of old blind love
Still beating and begging to survive
Can't tell if it's a honest plea
'Cause darkness still wants a taste
Of your sweet pain
They want to make me what they believe
I should be
I stopped trying
Enjoy being darkly different
Pain gave me a home
When they didn't
Darkness gave me a chance
When they refused to look my way
Manipulation rewarded my lots of troubles
With a lot of sweet hurts
When they chose not to see my best
Everyone's trying to arrange the whole
Which they don't know is a loose string
Holding scattered pieces together
Broken, splintered fragments
They want to change
But how do you change an ugly beastly ghost
With a broken heart at tack?
The battles within us are those we struggle to win each day. Do we tend to
live the past in our present? Do we present our pains of the past to our
present? Or do we live our present in hope of the future?
10. LONELY SOLITUDE II
Tania had reached Gabriel's place before dusk fell. She was tired all right, but it
had been more of emotional fatigue. After dropping her bag, she slumped into
the couch and slept. Suddenly, the nightmare had begun; she had been
drowning and no one could hear her scream for help.
Everyone seemed to not have realized her absence. She stopped fighting to
come to the surface. She had given into the drowning till she heard someone
mention her name. Then, she started struggling again. Whoever it was had
made her want to survive.
Gabriel had returned from work early today. There was nothing much to be
done at the company so he asked to leave early after finishing all he had to do.
On reaching the house, he enquired from the security guard to know if Tania
had arrived.
After being answered in the affirmative, he went into the house. Gabriel had
taken some snacks, dropped his suit and tie with a decision to talk with Tania.
He decided that he had to discuss the issue concerning the tickets before she
met with his parents.
He had to stop things from getting worse and with Tania involved, there would
be a slimmer chance.
There he was, standing at Tania's door. With a sigh, he had knocked on the door.
He knocked again but no response. The place was eerily quiet. The guard had
told him she hadn't gone out since she came back from school. Maybe she was
asleep, he thought. He decided to say her name to see whether he would hear a
movement.
He wasn't feeling too good about the whole thing. He could feel it strongly;
something was wrong. He impulsively reached for the knob and entered the
place.
"Tania, are you in there?", he asked as he moved into the living room. She was
curved like a ball, sweating profusely and trembling all over.
That sight of Tania in a helpless state arrested Gabriel's heart. He didn't have
time to think; he just moved to where she was as he tried to help her wake up.
Somehow, he knew this was a phase of a nightmare Tania was locked in. He
didn't know how but he just knew Tania was helpless right now in wherever
her dream had taken her.
She needed to wake up fast enough. Her shirt had been soaked with sweat.
Without deliberations, Gabriel had taken it off leaving her in the light vest she'd
been in. He then held her close to stop the shivering. Everything he tried till
now was working but she was still caught in her nightmare.
"Tania, you need to open your eyes. Don't give up now. We're almost there. I
promise not to leave. And if you open your eyes, I'd still be here. Just please
open your stubborn eyes", Gabriel whispered into Tania's ears as he caressed
her gently.
Gradually, Tania opened her eyes filled with tears only to stare into Gabriel's
eyes. "Thanks for saving me, Mr Angel."
With a sudden lump in his throat, all he could do was nod his head as an answer.
He was still holding on to Tania despite her being out of danger now.
Feeling like she owed Gabriel an explanation, Tania began to speak,
"I had a nightmare. It's been a while since I had those. I was drowning and no
one could hear me crying for help till l heard your voice. I thought....... "
Gabriel noticed she was beginning to tremble again. He stopped her from
continuing as he suggested she had her bath. He had also gone to his place and
showered. His mum had a quizzical look when she saw his appearance.
Gabriel's shirt had been soaked wet that it stuck to his chest. His shirt was half
tucked in his trousers. He knew he would have to offer some explanations but
those could wait.
After showering, he'd taken supper with his family. His mum had already saved
a bowl of the meal upon his request. He'd also taken some painkillers from the
drug shelf. After dinner, he decided to go back and check up on Tania. With the
food and drugs, he'd been on his way to the door when he met his mum.
"Gabriel, where are you going with the food and drugs, I saw you take earlier
from the shelf?"
"Tania's a bit unwell. Just wanted to check up on her and give her these. "
" Was that where you came from looking dishevelled?"
"Yes."
With that answer, Mrs Rockson allowed his son to leave without bothering him
with any more questions.
Walking back to Tania's place, things started to dawn on him.
"What the heck was he doing? Hadn't he done enough already?"
Maybe he didn't know what he was doing but he knew he was just trying to help
a fellow human out even if it was Tania. He could think of whatever his mind
was trying to propose later but now his help was needed. He had decided to
leave after she fell asleep.
With a knock, Tania opened the door and allowed him in. Tania looked better
now after washing down.
"I brought you some food and drugs. You would be fine by tomorrow hopefully."
With that, Gabriel turned to leave. His mind had won again. Tania felt the
change in his mood.
Gabriel was feeding the already existing distance between them again. He was
trying not to get close.
On normal days, Tania would allow that but not today. After the nightmare, she
was scared to be left alone.
"Gabriel, please could you leave after I've fallen asleep?"
He knew she would be scared to be alone tonight but he didn't want to be in
that position with her.
She was still Tania; she hadn't changed. She might be helpless now but she
would soon return to her old self.
With all these going through his head, Gabriel had stayed with her that night.
After Tania had eaten and taken the painkiller, sleep wasn't coming.
She'd opted to sleep in one of the two couches leaving Gabriel in the other. She
kept tossing and tossing till Gabriel moved to her side.
"Here, sleep."
With that Tania slept on the pillow placed on him. "Thanks", Tania had offered
as she drifted to sleep.
As Gabriel stroke her gently for her to sleep, his mind had come back to torture
him again.
He was falling into Tania's charms again, allowing her to control him. Just as he
tried to put her head gently on the couch and leave, he heard her speak again
and those words had caused him to take one deep breath: Will you stay with
me?
Now he couldn't move.
Whether she was sleep talking or not, those words got Gabriel stuck in his seat.
It wasn't the words that got him stuck but the emotions behind it; Loneliness
filled with sadness and pain struck his heart.
How long had it been since he stopped feeling other people's emotions and
pain? He knew when Tania broke his heart, things weren't the same anymore.
He'd changed but now sitting here with the one who broke his heart lying on
him, how much had he changed.
"Will you stay with her? ", his heart had asked. He knew what his heart was
saying; it wasn't just about tonight, it was about a lifetime.
He didn't have the answer to that but this he knew;
Tonight he'd be her angel and stay with her.
Early the next day, Gabriel had returned to his place. The only message he left
Tania had been: Hope you're better when you wake up. With that, he left for his
place.
He had barely an hour to make it for work. After a quick shower and a short
breakfast, he drove to work. He was caught in long traffic. During his time in
traffic, he couldn't but think of Tania. Yesterday hadn't been a dream.
Tania had a nightmare and he stayed all night with her. It didn't mean anything
or it wasn't supposed to but his heart, as usual, complicated matters.
Before his mind could condemn him, the traffic had long moved. Finally, he'd
reached the company where he worked.
Tania had woken up later in the morning. True to Gabriel's words, she felt
better than last night. Luckily, no lectures were scheduled for this morning on
her time table. She had showered and taken her breakfast with the second
painkiller.
She had seen Gabriel's note. His note brought back memories of last night.
Gabriel had saved her from her nightmare, brought her food and medication
and she had a gut feeling he stayed by her side all night. There were moments
where she would open her eyes to see a blurred image of him.
Did it even matter if he stayed or not? She had been in a bad situation and
Gabriel had helped her out. End of story. It didn't have to mean anything else
even if the feeling of it being something special felt so good, it didn't mean it
was true.
Before she left for lectures, she'd returned the bowl Gabriel had brought with
food in it for her.
"Hello Mrs Rockson, umm just wanted to say thanks for the food and
medication last night. I appreciate it. "
"Sure, you're welcome, Tania. My son told me you were a bit unwell. Hope
you're feeling better now."
" Yes ma'am. " "Alright, then we would talk later. "
With that, Tania had left for lectures. Soon lectures were over, but Tania had to
stay on campus and help Anna out with one of their difficult courses.
.........Anna's Hostel.........
Tania had gone through the course with Anna. It seemed gradually Anna was
grasping the concept. After an hour, they'd taken a break.
"So, how's everything at home Tania?" Anna had asked.
"Everything's okay."
That was a signal that Tania wasn't ready to delve into her family right now. It
was a very fragile issue.
"Anna, last night, I had a nightmare. The one I told you about some time ago.
Anytime I have that nightmare, it foreshadows something very bad. You know, I
almost didn't wake up this time."
Anna knew of Tania's nightmares but it'd been a while since she experienced
them.
"Tania, don't you think it's time you went to see a psychologist about it? " Anna
had in a millionth time suggested.
Tania had still been adamant about it; they were just bad dreams, nothing to
see a shrink about.
''Anna, please not this conversation about seeing a shrink again. I'm just thankful
that Gabriel had been there to save me. ''
Now, Anna was surprised, "Gabriel saved you? " "Yeah, he did. When I was finally
able to open my eyes, he'd been there. That's all I know", Tania had spoken the
last words more to herself.
With that, Tania had continued to help Anna with the course. Soon enough,
Tania had to leave.
"Thanks Tania, I appreciate the help. "
"Sure, anytime. "
"Yeah, and speaking of Gabriel, have you offered an apology to him and his family
yet?" Anna had further asked.
Considering how the apology went, she'd answered in the negative not wanting
to tell the unfortunate events that occurred that day.
"I'd do it soon. Things have been a bit of a mess lately", Tania had responded.
With that, Tania left for Flora's house. Teaching Flora had been a wonderful
experience for Tania; it was the only thing she hadn't destroyed. It gave her
some kind of peace. Very soon her tutoring with Flora would come to an end.
They'd come far.
Flora was back to her old self; a carefree child who could experience the world
any way she wanted. She was like a flower blooming in sunlight. After her
tuition today, Tania had asked her to write again about herself and experience.
She'd been more than happy. "Here, Tania. I wrote this for you", Flora said as she
handed a yellow envelope to Tania.
"Thanks, Flora. How about I read and get back to you, okay."
"No Tania, it's a gift saying thank you."
For a while, Tania didn't know what to say; this little girl made her fragmented
heart feel whole again more than once.
She looked up to her with awe. She wanted to be like her. Who could blame her?
She was still a kid and had seen what she thought was there.
Sometimes when we watch closely, we see the beauty in the beast.
And Flora had been blessed to see that.
"We're forever grateful to you, Tania. Flora is once the animated kid she used to
be and even expresses herself more and far better than before.
Your parents must be proud of you. Our daughter looks up to you. She hopes to
become like you someday", Mr James said with such enthusiasm.
Tania forced her smile on her face; pride, her parents and herself were miles
apart. Flora could become nothing like her, Flora was on the safer side of the
spectrum and she, she was stuck in the side of danger.
After taking her salary, Tania had left for home. On meeting Gabriel after he
stepped out of his car, Tania silently called out to him. Gabriel turned after
hearing his name. There, was Tania walking towards his car.
"I'm grateful for last night. I appreciate it", Tania uttered slowly.
"Yeah, sure. Don't worry. I would have done the same for anyone in that
situation."
It was clear as daylight; he wanted Tania to know there was nothing special
about him helping her last night. He would have done same with anyone and it
wasn't supposed to be a big deal.
They were back to what they had been; unfriendly ex-lovers. Gabriel had a way
of making it clear and he never stopped to make their present relationship
clearer.
He tried to walk away before the guilt gnashed at him.
"Gabriel", Tania had called.
"What do you want again, Tania?", he'd answered frustratingly.
This time, Tania had been hurt and angry. Looking straight into Gabriel's eyes
with both hurt and anger dancing in hers, she'd spoken.
"I don't want anything from you, Gabriel. Just wanted to give you a cheque
payment of my rent. I never got the chance to ask of your account number, so
please here you go."
With that, she'd marched into her room, not even turning to take one last glance
at Gabriel. For heaven's sake, she was trying but no, like always, it was never
enough.
11. BETWEEN FRIENDS & LOVERS
He was a tall fine-looking guy but that wasn't what drew people to him. Rather
it was his sense of mischief. Everyone at school wanted to be acquainted with
him but he hadn't been looking at everyone; it had been just her. She had picked
up his interest, they shared two things in common; manipulation and mischief.
Her name had been Trouble Tania; full of mischief yet had brains. Their first
meeting hadn't gone without much trouble. But only he knew he had taken a
bet; a bet to show that despite her tough skin, she was fragile and vulnerable
just like every other girl.
He needed to find her weak spot then get done with it. It took a while but she
let him in. He'd realized it was a desire to be accepted and loved. He started
slowly; he created an environment where she could genuinely talk about her
feelings.
He realised she had a lot going on with her but had hidden them all under her
mischievousness. Then they had grown pretty close.
Tania had started to change. Less and less, her manipulation and mischief
dropped. She cared a bit more about people and gave herself all out to him.
Trouble Tania was falling in love and that was changing her view on life. For
him, she'd become a better person.
Unfortunately, the change was happening on both sides; the game had to end.
This hadn't supposed to happen. He'd been paid for a job, and he needed to get
it done with. The complications were becoming too much. He'd never cared
before, so why now.
Besides, it wouldn't take long before things were out in the open. What he didn't
know was that the secret was already out but no one seemed bold enough to
mention it.
The new Tania suited everyone just fine. Everything was going to end this week
and he alone knew. He was going to ruin it all; her smiles, her pride and her
heart.
Tania had stayed over after school like always to spend time with him. It was a
Friday after all. She needed not to leave early since the next day was the
beginning of the weekend. After sharing dinner with him, they'd sat together
arms in arms watching TV.
The air was tense, Tania could feel it.
Something was bothering him; she didn't want to push him, she wanted him to
talk when he'd be ready. Tania caressed his arms just to reduce the tension.
He'd taken a deep breath.
Gradually he was losing himself to the aphrodisiac he'd taken.
He needed it to numb his conscience.
After Tania felt his uneasiness, he tried to caress and hold her to assure her he'd
be fine. He'd started to touch her slow; it felt different. All those times he'd held
her, it'd been just a show of love but this time, they both knew it was an
imprisoned desire gradually leaving its cage.
"What's wrong, Eli? Are you ok?", she asked him.
"No Trouble, I'm not and right now I just want you.", he'd whispered seductively
into her ears.
Tania had let out a breath she didn't even know she had been holding. No one
had ever wanted her; her parents always chose her siblings.
She had no friends at school too so that statement meant a lot to her.
She'd known what he'd been asking for but she was uncertain if she wanted to
give herself wholeheartedly to him.
"I..... I....." was all she could utter as Eli nibbled slowly on her right ear. She was
losing control slowly as his lips found its way to her neck. This spelt trouble but
she'd been so lost in whichever world she found herself that moment. He wasn't
stopping now; he was far gone.
Tania knew she had to go, but she'd been too weak to leave. When his lips had
found hers, there'd be no fight left in her.
They made love twice that night. Tania had fully given her body and soul to him.
He'd already had her heart. The first time he'd taken her, he'd realised she'd
never been touched before. That moment, the aphrodisiac had lost its effects. It
had been all him.
"I love you, Eli, now and forever", she said as she laid in his arms, sleep
consuming her. Lying down on his bed with her, he regretted taking that stupid
bet. He regretted sleeping with her just to fulfil his part of the bargain. With
pain, regret and guilt, he'd said,
"I love you too Tania. Hope you forgive me someday."
With that, he placed a kiss on her forehead.
After resting almost half the day, Eli had dropped her off at her hostel after
breakfast.
"See you on Monday, Eli." That Monday came but that was the last time she'd
seen Eli. He left without an explanation. Somehow, she found out about the bet
she'd fallen victim to. She'd hoped for a while that it wasn't true, that what
happened between the two of them had been more than a bet.
But the truth was Eli had left without a word or an explanation. He'd packed out
of his place and transferred to finish his last year in another college. Tania had
grown cold and unfeeling, sadistic and manipulative. She'd given her all to
someone she thought loved and accepted her only to find out it'd been a bet. Eli
had broken her heart and left her with the pieces.
When he dropped her off at her hostel, he'd known that would be the last time
he would see her. He had transferred to another college. All he needed was to
get himself there by Monday. He knew he was a coward; running away instead
of facing the situation. He always got what he wanted but this time it had been
more than he bargained for.
He had fallen in love with Trouble and yet had broken her heart too. It won't be
long before she'd found out about the true reason why they had met. He
couldn't stand to see the pain he had caused Tania so he'd opted out of her life.
He would always remember her no matter what but what he did would haunt
him for a long time.
Tania had met Anna after that episode of her life. They had taken a course
together in her third year. Anna had approached her just to take the seat by
hers. All she had gotten was a snob and a snide remark. Yet each time she would
sit by her.
She never really opened up to her but she did acknowledge her. Slowly, they
became friends; the only friend Tania ever had. One day Anna had asked her
about why she'd acted so cruel to her that day. Somehow, they ended up talking
about Eli. But Tania had taken a path of destruction; to destroy all the good
things that come her way.
The genesis of it all was back. It was a tale known between friends and lovers.
12. FOR LOVER’S SAKE
"So far so good ", that was how Tania described the new month. Thanks to the
recommendation of Mr and Mrs James, she found herself a new tutoring job
with one of their friends. After the interview, they had given her in advance her
salary for the month. It'd been more than she hoped for. She could settle for this
month's rent and still have more.
For the first time, her parents had sent her money without her asking from
them. She had been too proud to touch that money.
Surprisingly, they sent money for her rent, upkeep and as well as to aid her in
her project.
"Hello, I've sent you money for your rent and upkeep. I hope you'd be responsible
enough to use it wisely.", that was what her dad had called to let her know.
That had been three days ago yet she was adamant about using it. She just
remembered she hadn't taken the account number for the rent.
"Hmmph not again ", Tania had sighed. She didn't want to directly deal with
Gabriel but yet again she had to. She would deal with that when she got home
but now she had to go see her supervisor.
Tania had left her supervisor earlier than she had expected. After her last
lecture for the week, all she wished for was to be in bed right that moment.
During the last class for the day, Anna kept throwing funny glances at her or
perhaps she was being paranoid. "I'd see you on Monday", Anna had said to her
before trying to leave for her hostel. Tania didn't want to overthink Anna's
behaviour, maybe she was just stressed up like everyone else.
Trying to think about something else, she heard someone scream "Trouble."
That voice sounded like a voice she knew. The only person that sounded like
that had left her life without a reason some two years ago.
Okay, so maybe she was being paranoid. She decided not to pay attention and
kept moving. She was in a hurry to get home after all. Then she heard it again
"Trouble ".
Suddenly, she stopped in her steps. Someone was calling her and there was only
one person who called her that. She couldn't resist the urge to turn. So she did,
only to find Eli some few metres away from her. The nightmare she had was
nothing compared to the real nightmare she'd been facing right
now; Eli Mintah.
Looking at him move to her side, with each step he took, the pain in her heart
intensified. She couldn't move, her feet felt planted where she stood. She hadn't
prepared for this meeting, not once since he left. Right now, it felt like opening
a book she didn't want to read.
Within seconds, he'd stood just some breath away from her. For a while, they
both stood in silence.
"Trouble, I'm sorry", Eli finally broke the silence.
Before he could go on, Tania stopped him.
"No, you are not. You were sorry two years ago when you left without a word.
Right now, standing in front of me, you are not sorry. Not one bit."
With that, she walked away struggling to keep the pain inside.
Anna had been preparing to go home for the weekend when she heard a knock
on the door. She only opened the door to find a stranger standing with his hands
in his pocket.
"Hi, I'm Eli. Was trying to locate Tania and was directed here."
Anna was shocked to be facing the guy who'd broken Tania's heart.
"You mean Eli.... as in Eli Mintah", Anna had asked just to reassure herself.
"Yes, I'm the one."
"After what you did to her, what makes you believe that she'd want to see you, let
alone talk to you."
From her speech, Eli had figured she knew what had ensued between Tania and
him.
"I made a mistake with the way I treated her, and I need to apologize."
"Don't you think the apology is two years late? You turned her into a monster and
left without a word. No one deserves that."
"You think I don't know that. I thought l could live through with the guilt but here
I am after two years, trying to find her."
The issue was complicated; Anna knew that without a doubt. Right now, she
couldn't help the guy standing in front of her.
"Wish I could help you but right now, I'm not going to promise to talk to Tania
about you wanting to meet her.
She's got a lot on her plate right now; she doesn't need one more."
With that, Eli had left. He had to do this on his own. He had to find Tania all by
himself.
Tania had gotten home earlier that day. She was full of pain and anger.
Eli was back. After two years of struggling to survive, the genesis of it all was
back. Each day, she would struggle to paint away those two years when she'd
been foolish enough to believe someone wanted her.
Foolish enough to give out her whole self and foolish enough to be a different
Tania for someone. Thinking about it, made her feel more stupid for the mistake
she'd made that night two years ago.
For heaven's sake, she'd been the bait of an expensive bet. The few minutes she
spent with Eli today made her know the state of her heart; a bloody fragmented
pieces of what was once a heart.
Taking the things out of her backpack, she remembered the rent cheque. She
decided to send it before it skipped. It had been already delayed for two weeks.
Right now, it would be better if she had no issue with her landlord.
Already, her plate was beyond full. Picking up the cheque, she'd change into
something casual and headed straight to the Rocksons' mansion.
She pressed the bell this time. Within some few minutes, the door was opened.
There, stood Gabriel, a little surprised to see Tania. Tania had been more
surprised to see Gabriel in the attire, they had taken a picture in.
It'd been an all-white men's casual wear with a pair of black sneakers.
That moment, they both remembered those words, Tania had uttered; Look at
you, you look so bright that it hurts.
Staring at each other, they both knew they'd been thinking about the same
memory. "I eeerrrm brought you my rent for last month and this month.
I apologize for the delay", Tania had said.
"Okay, no problem."
Handing over the cheque to Gabriel, her fingers had brushed through his hand.
All at once, they'd both inhaled deeply.
They felt it; that spark that lighted the flames in their hearts and bosom. That
spark they thought had died out when they'd broken up.
Recognition was in the face of one and denial in the face of the other.
"Gabriel, who's at the door? ", Mrs Rockson had asked from inside the house.
"No one mum, it's just Tania." Hearing that, Gabriel's mum approached the two.
" Hello Tania, how are you."
"I'm good, Mrs Matthews."
"I'm holding a dinner for my family tonight. I'd be glad if you can join. All friends
of the family are invited."
Another invitation again, after what happened the other time.
"Thanks, ma'am. Unfortunately, I might not be around."
Mrs Rockson knew clearly, it'd been a lie rolling off the young lady's tongue.
After what happened last time, anyone in her shoes would decline.
"Tania, can I speak to you alone?"
With that, Gabriel entered the house.
"The last time you were here, you made a serious confession about something you
did. It almost put my family in danger. I know how you feel about having another
dinner with my family.
We'd talk about that later. You hardly leave your quarters. I know you can make
it for the dinner, but you think you not coming would be
doing 'someone' a great favour. Tania, I expect to see you tonight at dinner. Don't
disappoint me."
All Tania could do was nod. "I'd want to take my leave now."
"Sure dear, see you tonight."
How so fortunate. Tonight was just two hours away.
Mrs Rockson had entered the house after that only to find her son eagerly
waiting.
Of course, he was itching to know if Tania had declined the invitation. He'd
stared at his mum with questioning eyes.
"Let's wait and see", that's all he'd gotten from his mum.
He had to hurry and get to the send-off party organized for the foreign
investors. They'd be leaving tonight.
"I have to go then."
Gabriel had reached there a little late. He'd spoken to his manager for a while
then joined the party. Everyone was having a great time. After farewell
messages had been said, one of his colleagues had driven the investors to the
airport.
Gabriel was glad everything had gone well with the investors. They'd be back
in three months for the contract to begin. Now he could concentrate on other
things.
"Someone promised to take me to a dinner today", a voice approaching him had
said.
Gabriel had looked up to see his crazy best friend. He looked at her and shook
his head. A year abroad hadn't done anything to change her. She was well
behaved and composed when the situation demanded but on the whole, she
was just an outspoken crazy lady.
Finally, at his side, she'd said,
"Hello Angel, it's been 365 days without messing with you."
"Let's get going before you start with your troubles", Gabriel had gotten up and
walked her to the car.
Soon, they were at his family's house. He'd led her best friend in. After some few
introductions, he'd gone upstairs to prepare for the dinner.
Two hours had quickly passed, and Tania had a dinner to attend whether she
would be happy about it or not.
Finding herself in a black mini dress and flats, she'd walked to the Rocksons'
mansion.
Just on cue, Mrs Rockson opened the door. Today she'd hired a few hands to
help with everything. She was the host after all.
" Welcome, Tania."
"Thanks, ma'am."
With a smile, Mrs Rockson had asked, "Hope there'd be no confessions tonight?
" "No ma'am. There wouldn't be any."
"Good", with that, they both walked in.
It was quite a crowd of family and friends. There were Gabriel's sisters. His dad
was engaging some few people in a hearty conversation.
On seeing her, he sent a nod her way. Now, she'd seen the rest of the family
except the one she wanted to see and not see.
She lifted her head only to see Gabriel with a lady on his arms. She had been
talking heartily about something as Gabriel shook his head.
"Gabriel, there you are! Been looking for you", his mum had arrived saying.
"And who's the young lady on your arm?"
Tania had still been staring from where she stood. "Mum, this is Angela, my best
friend."
With a grin, she chipped in,
"Actually, I'm the girlfriend. Mrs Rockson, you can call me Naana."
"Mum, pay no attention to her", Gabriel said laughing.
"Alright then. Could you direct these two gentlemen to the cellar?"
"Of course, mum."
Climbing the stairs with the gentleman, he turned to warn his best friend to stay
out of trouble only to find Tania's eyes on him.
"Stay out of trouble, Angela."
"I will, Angel," she said with a wink.
Immediately Gabriel had seen her watching him, she looked away till he was far
up the stairs.
She hadn't been the only one who called him Angel after all.
She finally moved away to stand a little away from the crowd only to meet
Gabriel's sisters.
"Hi, I'm Tania," she'd said as she bent down to the youngest.
Hi, I'm Keren and that's Sharon, my big sister," the little girl had said in a cute
British accent.
After smiling at her, she offered her lap as a seat and the little girl just jumped
on it happily. Sharon, as Tania noticed was still indifferent towards her.
Maybe she was generally indifferent towards everyone, Tania had thought.
Gabriel had come back from the cellar. No sooner had his mum called everyone
to the dining room. Family and friends found themselves seats. Gabriel had sat
with Angela. Tania had avoided any shared looks with Gabriel. She opted to sit
with the sisters but she was moved when one little girl had asked to sit by
Keren. There was only one seat left; right to Gabriel's.
Slowly she moved to occupy the seat. After that was done, Mrs Rockson had
asked everyone to hold hands as the shared the meal prayers. Sparks flew once
again as Gabriel held Tania's hands.
Luckily, the prayer had been short. After dinner, socialisation continued. Tania
had still found herself with the youngest sister, Keren.
Sharon had found herself in the company of a young boy her age. From what
Tania had heard, they seem to both share an interest in Japanese anime.
Gabriel had been listening to something his best friend had been saying until
he'd been lost in thoughts looking at Tania play with his little sister.
" Who's she?" Angela had asked. Thinking she meant her little sister, he'd
responded,
"That's Keren, my youngest sister. "
"No, not her. Her", she'd said as she pointed to Tania.
"That's Tania. A final college student. Umm, she lives down the boys' quarters."
Is that all she is now? A tenant? Gabriel's heart had questioned him.
"Can we go say hi?", Angela had requested.
"Yeah, sure", Gabriel had responded.
Tania had seen Gabriel and his lady friend approaching her. She pretended not
to notice till they reached.
"Hi, I'm Angela, Angel's friend. I guess you are Tania. He just told me."
Tania had just given her a forced smile and said, "Nice to meet you too." That
moment Keren had asked to be taken to the loo to pee. Gabriel had gone with
her, leaving Angela alone with Tania.
"You are in your final year in college, right?"
"Yeah, I am." Angela had been trying to hold a conversation with the lady by her
side when Gabriel arrived with Keren.
Angela had left with Gabriel some minutes later. Tania felt it was time she left
for
her
place.
After speaking to Mrs Rockson, she decided to leave when Gabriel appeared at
her side.
"It would be better if I see you off ", he'd said to her. Tania tried refusing his offer,
but it was a lost battle since it had been Gabriel's mum who had given the
instruction.
She had to go with Gabriel after all. As they got out of the house, Tania walked
a bit faster. Gabriel had caught up with her. "Tania, wait", he'd said as he got
closer.
As they walked together in painful silence. "I appreciate you playing with my kid
sister", Gabriel had said.
"Sure, you're welcome."
As they reached her place, she'd asked that Gabriel return to his place.
"Thanks for the escort. I'd be fine from here. Besides, you got a guest. You can't
keep your girlfriend waiting. "
Gabriel had realized then that Tania had heard them during the introduction.
"She's not my girl...." before he could continue, Tania had interrupted with a
goodnight wish as she walked away.
Tania didn't want to hear the rest. She had wanted to say 'friend' but in the end,
she'd said what she felt rather than what she planned to say.
Why did he feel like he owed her an explanation about who Angela was?
Why had Tania acted like she'd been affected by her presence?
And those sparks that had flown when their hands had touched.
Why did he even care about all of this?
Tania had been fatigued mentally; the guy who broke her heart into pieces was
back in town. Nonetheless, she met Gabriel's new girlfriend. All in one day.
Not to talk about how she'd felt when she'd touched Gabriel. She felt drained as
she decided to fall asleep at last. For lovers' sake, she needed that rest.
13. WHEN EXES MEET
It must have been love
But it's over now
It must have been good
But I lost it somehow
It must have been love
But it's over now
From the moment we touched
Till the time had run out
~Roxette~
Two days after meeting Tania, he tried to find out where she lived. He could not
talk to her at school and asking her to meet up with him was not an option.
Though it might be at his loss, he needed to talk to her on her own grounds. So
he followed her one day and found out where she lived. He planned to pay her
a surprise visit that weekend. He only hoped the outcome wasn't outward
horrible.
Tania had just closed from lectures. She'd gone to see her lecturer about her ongoing research project. He commended her work so far and made corrections
where needed. Her tutoring job was earning her a really good amount of cash.
These days she had more than enough. Yet still, she hadn't touched the money
her dad had sent. Having already paid her rent in advance, she was free from
any bills this month and the next.
All she had to do was get groceries and toiletries from the market. Perhaps one
of these weekends, she could go on an outing with Anna, she thought. She really
needed that break before the stress got to her.
On reaching the place she had rented for a couple of months now, the security
guard offered to help her with the things she was carrying, however, Tania had
refused politely. Before she got to the door of her place, someone had stopped
her.
After the dinner party of his family, Gabriel had not set eyes on Tania. It'd been
two weeks since their last encounter. Mrs Rockson had delivered a 100 'thank
you' cards to everyone who had made it for her dinner. She'd kept one to be
delivered to Tania. She was glad the young lady had made it.
There was something intriguing about the young lady and at the right time, she
would find out. For now, all Mrs Rockson desired was to build a relationship
with Tania despite knowing her ill-actions against her family concerning their
trip to Ghana.
Before she could deliver the card herself, an urgent trip to Cape Coast had
presented
itself.
Having to leave the next day, it skipped her mind. Hence, she had left him a note
telling him to deliver the card.
Presently, Gabriel had been staring at the card with the inscription,
"We are glad you made it for our dinner. Thank you, Miss Tania Matthews and
God bless you."
"Trouble, wait", Eli had stopped her. Tania had raised her head only to see a
sweaty and panting Eli in front of her.
After taking in a deep breath, she asked through seething teeth, "What do you
want?"
"Trouble, I know you don't want to speak to me right now but I need to let you
know how sor........"
Before he could finish his statement, she cut in angrily.
"First of all, my name is Tania, just bloody Tania. Trouble was never and will
never be my name. Secondly, I don't want to listen to anything you have to say.
Keep your stories and your sorries to yourself. Lastly, I need you to leave now
and don't ever follow me again."
The bitterness in her voice could not be missed. She hated him to the last pint
of her blood. He was a major part of why she had become what she was now.
"I heard of what you had become", Eli pressed on.
"Oh, you did?" she asked with so much sarcasm dripping off her words.
"You know something; I fucking don't care what you think, what you heard or
what you have to say about it.
And you know why; you don't have any bloody right too. Just leave before things
get filthy ugly around here."
Gabriel had stepped out of the house to deliver the card to Tania. He knew
pretty much well what his mum could do if she ever found out the card wasn't
delivered. She would rain all hell on him and he could be assured nothing would
be left to his imagination. As he walked towards the boys quarters, he'd seen
Tania standing with a young man as she held onto the items in her hands.
It seemed as if, the air was being pressed out of the things. From the 100 metre
distance he was away from them, he could feel the air of tension over there. He
had almost decided to turn back but his curiosity got the best part of him. Tania
had seen him moving towards her direction, but she had been so clouded by the
bitterness she felt for the guy standing right in front of her.
"Hi", he'd greeted both of them. Before he could continue, Tania angrily cut in,
"Mr Gabriel, if I recall pretty well, which I do, I have paid my rent in advance for
the next two months. Unless I have broken something around my quarters
which I don't know of ", she said sarcastically. Gabriel had noticed Tania was
very pissed and right this moment, she was a bomb quickly ticking towards
explosion. Now Eli was a bit pissed.
"Tania, where the heck are your manners. I know you are angry at me but this
guy here has done nothing to do with it."
"Coming from a guy who lured me into his bed, took what he wanted and left
without a goodbye two years ago, leaves a lot to be desired about manners,
don't you think", she snarled at him.
Gabriel had been shocked and trying to process everything right that moment
was not helping one bit. With an indignant look at Eli, he asked, "Who are you?"
With a surrendered gruff, he'd answered, "I'm Tania's ex."
With a sarcastic laugh, she said, "Really, is that how you call yourself now. My
ex? You didn't even have the dignity to break up with me after... breaking....
me....up", she deliberately stretched the last words to create the picture she'd
wanted.
"And who are you?", Eli had asked Gabriel after everyone had been silenced by
her statement.
"She rents a place from me ", he answered. He hadn't wanted to increase the
chaos happening now, but this had been one of those days, Tania had been
clouded with bitterness and nothing was stopping her.
"Gabriel, are you ashamed to let him know we once dated. Am I that bad? Am I
really that bad?", she said with so much bitterness.
They were both surprised who they were to the uncontrollable young woman
in front of them right now. Gabriel was getting angry. The guy standing some
few metres away from him was part of the reason why he ended up dating the
messed up woman standing in front of him.
He could not even speak his mind or say what he wanted to say since Tania
called for his attention.
"Angel ", she called him with so much pain. "Do you remember you told me to
send your regards to Hades, my betrothed when I go back to hell? See, I didn't
even have to go down there; he came up. There, he is. You can personally tell
him now ", she said pointing at Eli.
"Now let me formally introduce you to each other; Angel meet Hades, Hades
meet Angel. "
And with that, she entered her place, slammed the door and dropped all the
things recklessly. Kneeling by her couch, she began to cry.
Outside her door, Gabriel had lost his self-control and hit Eli. How dare he treat
a woman like a piece of garbage.
"After two years, you think your sorry will mean something now. " Eli was now
on the ground with bleeding lips.
"Man, we are no different. We both hurt her.", Eli had shamefully stated. "Maybe
we both hurt her, but unlike you, I respected who she was and never for once
treated her like trash.
Now leave my house right this minute and I don't want to see you anywhere
around my house or Tania because if I do, I will make sure you become a pile of
flesh. Mark my words", Gabriel had finally said.
With that, Eli had gotten from the ground as he cleared the blood from his lips.
As he spat out the blood gathered in his mouth, he arrogantly said,
"You know, she's not your property."
With his eyes holding promises of serious harm to Eli, he said, "Just try me."
After Eli had left, Gabriel had given the security guard a firm warning never to
allow Eli anywhere close to his family's property. With a wave of unresolved
anger, he had moved to his room and taken a long shower. His initial intentions
for going to see Tania long forgotten. And as for the card, it had long been
dropped forgotten on the compound.
Hell was surely going to rain.
13. FAMILIAL WATERS
It had been five years since he went to further his Masters in Australia.
Immediately, after completion, he had earned himself a job in one of the
reputable engineering companies in Melbourne. His Australian ancestry which
he inherited from his mum, proved quite relevant in his stay in the country.
Living with one of his maternal aunts, he completed his course and had even
moved out despite her refusal.
Coming back home to Ghana where his family lived had always been
rescheduled somehow. Yet this week, at one of the general meetings, his
company always held before the Christmas break, he and three company
members had been told of their work assignment to Ghana.
Shearon had been made head of the team that was going to Ghana to work with
the company they had established a contract with some six months ago.
A week flew and Shearon and his team had found themselves in Ghana. After
they landed, a company's car was dispatched to pick them up and drop them at
the hotel they would be staying.
As he settled down in his hotel, he decided to go see his family before the week
ended. He and his colleagues had been given a two week rest period before their
work in the country began. Soon enough, they would meet up with the members
of the company they would be working with.
He realised a lot had changed in the country after five years of being away. Now
there seems to be a lot of companies and enterprises than before.
After taking a little trip around town with his colleagues, they had returned to
the hotel in the evening to get some rest. Not entirely exhausted, he called his
parents to let them know he was in the country.
"Hi, it's me, Shearon. Just wanted you and dad to know I'm currently in the
country."
Before he could go on, his mum, Mrs Adelaide Matthews started screaming in
the phone excitedly.
"Well, finally you came back to us, lad."
Shearon could not help but chuckle. It was always amazing to hear his mum
speak in what she called a Ghanaian-Australian accent, her stated way of
becoming part of the country of her husband.
"When are you coming home?", his mum asked and that had brought him out of
his reverie.
" Well, I was thinking of dropping home Friday afternoon", he had responded.
" Young man, there's nought to think about, see you Friday evening alright.
Before I forget, Akwaaba son."
Shearon had almost burst into laughter. His mum had not changed; still
dramatic as ever. After calling his mum, he decided to let his uncle, his father's
elder brother know he was in the country. His uncle had been elated. He had
missed his favourite nephew.
Later, he called Derek to ask if they could meet up. Luckily, Derek had been done
for the day, so he came over to Shearon's hotel as they shared some drinks in
the hotel's lounge.
"See who's grown big ", Shearon said amid laughter.
Derek had thrown him a serious look, and with a chuckle, commented,
"I was never small. You just couldn't see well. Remember, you had glasses
on, was it myopia, I'm sure it was."
With that, Derek had been the one laughing now.
Shearon had shaken his head and said, "Ever so serious Derek, you still can't
handle a joke.
With that, they had spoken about work, women and family.
"Everyone is doing great. Jenna is the student president of her school. Mum's
business keeps expanding and dad's getting a new contract each week. And
myself, I just got promoted at work."
Shearon realized he had not mentioned anything about his other sister, his
favourite cousin.
"Well, what of Tania", he had asked.
His reply had been: "Tania is just being Tania, nothing new."
Shearon hmphed as he asked, "What did she do this time?"
"Your favourite cousin got herself expelled from her campus residence in her
second year without any of us knowing. We decide to go visit her only to be told
this.
And it was quite embarrassing to hear the dean telling dad about Tania's
troublesome personality. Shearon, dad has never hit any of us, but Tania broke
that record", Derek told him with some discomfort.
"It seems you guys have still not cracked her code", Shearon muttered to
himself.
Finally, Shearon had been able to reach his favourite cousin. Tania was very
excited to know her favourite cousin was in town. The only family who
understood and never judged her.
Shearon had always been her defence system. But then he had to go away and
she stopped fighting. Fighting to prove she was not the black sheep of her
family; she had given up trying to reach her parents' expectations.
"So Tania, there's this dinner being held by the company I would be working
with. I would like you to go with me as my date, what do you say dear?"
Tania had answered affirmatively.
He had been a bit surprised knowing how his favourite cousin did not like
crowds.
As
if
sensing
his
thoughts,
Tania
had
responded,
"We both know I don't like crowds but Shearon I can survive a dinner full of
people once you got my back."
Tania had also reasoned to see that the dinner could be the break she so much
wanted away from academic work. Perhaps she could pull Anna along with her.
Heck! they both needed a break from schoolwork.
"Shearon, could I bring a friend along?" she asked him.
"Of course you can. "
Immediately the call ended, Tania had dialled Anna to tell her of the dinner.
From the look of things, it appeared Anna needed the break more than her.
"Sweetheart, I'm going to the dinner with you, no need to ask a second time. I
need something else to think about than this degree certificate that has killed
my social life. Dammnnn babe, we are going!"
Laughing so heartedly, Tania ended the call.
Gabriel was glad the investors had arrived safely. Having met them on the
Friday before the dinner the next day, they went through some details
concerning the new facility they would be putting up and had come up with
various
working
ideas.
During the week, he had gotten acquainted with them as they shared ideas.
Later he had spoken with Shearon, the head of the group from overseas
concerning some of the company's ideas towards the new establishment.
Finally, the day of the dinner was here. Gabriel had gotten ready as he needed
to go pick Angela up from her house.
Angela had broken her car two days ago, which had turned her best friend into
her chauffeur. After he informed his parents of his departure, he had driven to
Angela's apartment.
Thankfully, she was done and waiting for him. After sharing a smile, he opened
the front door to the passenger's seat for her. Soon they had been on their way
to the dinner.
"You know sometimes I forget that beneath that crazy face of my best friend is
a beautiful face", Gabriel said teasingly which got him a playful punch from
Angela.
With mischief playing in her eyes, she countered,
"If you want us to reach this dinner in one peaceful piece, Angel, I suggest you
drive and not wake up my sleeping demons".
With a slight chuckle, Gabriel had given his full attention to driving them safely
to the place.
Anna had reached Tania's place with her stuff so they help each other get ready.
In an hour or less, both ladies had been ready to leave for the dinner. Looking
at themselves one more time in the mirror, they had ordered a taxi.
At last, they had reached the city centre the dinner was planned to take place.
Tania paid the driver as they got down from the car.
"You two enjoy yourselves alright", he told them.
"Sure, we will", Anna had replied excitedly.
As they entered the part of the hotel with the dinner taking place, Tania had
tried to locate Shearon.
As she kept turning around trying to make out her favourite cousin's physique,
Anna suddenly drew her attention to Gabriel who had his arms wrapped
around a lady's.
As soon as she spotted them, Gabriel also had his eyes on her.
Both had been wondering what the other was doing here. "Your landlord is
here", Anna had whispered.
Still looking at Gabriel, she answered Anna. "Yes, he definitely is."
Before they could decide whatever conclusion to come to, Shearon had located
Tania.
They hugged with so much excitement and love, causing Gabriel to be at loss of
what was happening. Tania then introduced Anna to his cousin.
"Shearon, this is Anna, my closest friend."
Shearon had been caught up staring so much at Anna until Tania cleared her
throat.
With that Shearon commented,
"Nice to meet you, Anna."
Shearon realized Gabriel standing on the other side and decided it would be
great to introduce Tania to him. They had become more than acquaintances
now.
With his arms around her waist, he led her along.
Tania had no idea Gabriel was the one Shearon was talking about introducing
her to.
Gabriel stood alone now as Angela busied herself chatting with some new
friends she just made at the party.
As the realization dawned on her, that she was being led towards Gabriel's
direction, she had been hesitant to move forward.
Shearon looked up at her and said,
"I know how you don't like to meet new people but it's just this one person I
want you to meet and that will be all.
Besides, Gabriel is a cool person. You would like him."
Of course, Gabriel was a cool person and yes at a point she liked him, she argued
mentally.
Shearon had been too adamant to notice the grim look on his cousin's face.
Finally, they reached the place where Gabriel stood.
"Hey Shearon, I didn't know you came with a date," Gabriel remarked as he took
a sip of his wine.
Still oblivious about what was happening, he laughed and answered.
"Yeah, that's my date. Meet my cousin, Tania."
Shearon still had his hands around Tania, as if to prevent her from escaping.
Tania, wanting to pretend like it was her first time meeting Gabriel, had uttered
a soft hi as she extended her hands for a handshake.
Gabriel had raised his eyebrows.
Shearon soon enough realised the awkwardness going on and asked.
"Do you guys know each other?"
They both responded at the same time.
When Shearon's expression had seemed to suggest how, they both answered
together in unison.
"I rent a place from him."
"She's my ex."
Shearon realized he had to move Tania away.
"Wow, it's a small world indeed," he thought.
With that, he moved away with Tania and wished Gabriel a great evening.
Moving away with Tania, he told her that he was working together with Gabriel
due to a collaboration between their companies.
To lighten the mood, he jokingly said,
"Never knew you had it in you to love something else apart from trouble."
He had only gotten a small smile from her that didn't reach her eyes.
The night moved along without any commotion.
Gladly, Tania didn't share the same table with Gabriel. Sitting with Anna and
Shearon, she'd been too preoccupied to notice how Shearon was admiringly
looking at Anna.
After dinner, people started to move to the dancefloor, others moved outside
for fresh air and more intimate space.
Grudgingly, Tania moved on to the dancefloor after much pestering. After a
while dancing with her cousin, she began loosening up and sparked with
laughter.
This felt good. It had been a while since she had a good laugh.
Shearon always had a way to make her smile even when she didn't want to.
"Is it okay with you if I asked your friend to dance with me?"
Without even thinking, she said yes. It was not until they had gotten to the
dancefloor slow dancing to Elvis Presley Can't Help Falling In Love With You,
that she realized his cousin was acting weird.
He was looking up at Anna like a priceless pearl he had recently come in
possession of.
Like the river flows surely to the sea, some things are meant to be
And just as the words of the song said, she'd figured something was happening
with her cousin.
As the song was being replayed again due to a request, Tania had been struck
on the nerve by the first part of the song;
Wise men say only fools rush in.
But I can't help falling in love with you.
She realized how well it fitted her present situation. She moved out to the
balcony to feel the breeze.
There, she had changed into some flats. She needed to rest her legs before they
numbed.
Gabriel stood on the first floor of the ballroom as he watched Tania dance with
her cousin.
He had seen her smile and laugh genuinely, and his heart seemed to feel twisted.
It had been a long time since he saw her laugh out heartily. The dance was
finally over, and Tania moved away.
Shearon was dancing with Anna. He realized there was something different
about Shearon as he danced with Tania's friend.
Every move, every look felt as if something new was blooming. He realized how
oblivious Anna was to the whole situation.
He had been so fixed on Tania that he didn't realize when Angela came to stand
by him.
Angela had followed the direction of his look and realized it fell on Tania.
Wait, wasn't that his tenant from home? Something was not clear.
She cleared her throat and called out to him.
"Angel, I've been standing here for 8 minutes, not once did you notice me."
That caught his attention.
"Sorry, got preoccupied with something."
Angela smiled and said,
" You mean someone. I thought I saw Tania dancing with someone on the
ballroom floor."
"Yeah, you did. That's one of the investors, he appears to be her cousin."
Angela asked Gabriel about Tania again.
"Angel, what's up with you and Tania. Don't tell me she's your tenant. That I
know already.
Tell me the other thing I don't know. And before you say anything about not
knowing what I'm talking about, I saw you staring at her for almost eight
minutes as she danced with her cousin."
Before Angela could on blabbing, Gabriel answered, "She's my ex."
Angela's words were now caught in her throat.
"I know it's none of my business but why is she living at your place."
"Tania has nowhere to stay as she was expelled from the school’s residency."
"So, hmm why did you guys break up?"
I don't want to talk about it now. Maybe some other time."
With that, the conversation on Tania ended. Angela had told him she was
leaving.
He'd asked her if he could drop her off but she refused as she mentioned
someone had already offered to drop her home. With their goodbye said,
Gabriel was left alone.
He mounted down the stairs to the ground floor. Gradually the dinner was
coming to a close.
As he sat down, Tania entered the ballroom once more.
Shall I stay
Would it be a sin
If I can't help falling in love with you
Hearing these words from the song, he only lifted his head from his phone to
see Tania enter the ballroom. She was a little confused. Why was he looking up
at her? Why wasn't she looking away?
Gabriel realized they were caught up in a stare-up, making him drop his gaze.
Tania walked away to sit at her side of the table. Not long after, Shearon walked
in with Anna.
"When had they stepped out?" she thought.
"Guess we would be leaving soon."
Tania nodded to Anna's statement.
Anna took off Shearon's suit and handed it to him with a thank you.
Tania was still wondering why her cousin was quickly warming up to her
friend.
Unless he...... Before she could end her statement in her head, she looked up at
her cousin and realized he had the doe eyes, and they were not moving away
from Anna.
Ooh, she thought and smiled quietly though she wanted to laugh loudly.
"I could drop you girls off and head back to my hotel", Shearon had suggested.
Tania realized that was going to be a long journey for all of them.
"How about you drop Anna off since you guys will be using the same route and
I'd order for an Uber ", she reasoned out.
Tania could notice the subtle excitement in her cousin's demeanour.
Boy oh boy, Shearon had it bad, she'd thought mischievously.
"Wait, didn't you say you are renting a place from Gabriel's house?
How about you leave with him? That's safer than the Uber. It's getting pretty
late, you know."
Ooh no no, that's wasn't going to happen.
"I think I prefer Uber. I just need to leave now. That's all", she tried to argue her
way out.
"Anna, could you excuse me and Tania for a moment?"
With that, they walked a little further.
Shearon knew very well of Tania's hardheadedness and he was not going to
allow that.
"I know you and Gabriel might have a history, and the situation perhaps is not
ideal, but he is the safest chance you have to get home compared to
the Uber. Besides, you guys live in the same house.
How about I ask and if he says no, I'd have to drop you off myself before
dropping Anna."
With that Shearon located Gabriel and asked him if he could give Tania a ride
home. He nodded in the affirmative. It was settled then.
"He said he'd take you home", Shearon had informed his favourite cousin.
With a kiss to his cousin's forehead, Shearon had left with Anna.
Shortly after, Gabriel had approached Tania and told her they would leave in
twenty minutes. He needed to sort some things out before leaving with her.
Soon it was time for them to leave. It was a silent ride; it was as if the silent was
sacred and no one wanted to taint it.
They had gotten stuck in traffic for a while, with Tania having fallen asleep.
Gabriel had covered her up with his suit.
Finally, they had reached Gabriel's house.
"Tania, wake up, we are home."
Slowly, she opened her eyes. After getting in tune with where she was, she fully
woke up.
"Sorry," she mumbled.
No need to be Tania. "
On getting down, she thanked him for the ride and the suit.
Before she could walk anymore further, Gabriel called to her, "Tania."
Breathing hard, she turned.
"You looked beautiful tonight", he stated.
Fast enough, she hid her surprise and after saying thanks, she walked away
before any other revelations were made.
Gabriel drove into the garage and walked into the house. It was quite late so
everyone would be asleep.
He turned the lights off as he walked to his room. Taking off his tie and shoes,
he fell on his bed and soon had fallen asleep.
Shearon had called to check up on Tania. He was glad she reached home safe.
"Gabriel is your ex, huh? he'd asked.
With a sigh, she answered him. "Yes, he is."
"Would you want to tell me why you guys broke up because I see as much love
I see in his eyes as I see in yours too?"
Shearon hadn't changed a lot; he still openly stated his observations without
covering up anything.
"We didn't work out, that's all. "
Shearon realized Tania was not ready to go into details. Before he could call it
a night, Tania asked him about Anna.
"Shearon, what's up with you and Anna. Seems to me you've been hit real bad."
She said while laughing at him.
"I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about ", Shearon pretended not to
know.
"You already like her, don't you?"
Without giving Tania an answer, he wished her good night.
JUST FOR TONIGHT
Just for tonight, let's take off our masks and end the masquerade show for a while
Just for tonight, let's be blind enough to see the things that we want here
Just for tonight, let's forget all about consequences and say how we feel
Just for tonight, let's pretend I'm yours and you mine
Just for tonight, let's not look for reasons but rekindle the sparks
Just for tonight let's be everything we cannot be when the morning comes
And when morning finally comes
Let's slip peacefully into our old roles
And when morning comes, let's be two different people without love between them
And when morning comes, let's walk away like our paths never crossed
And when do morning come, let the secrets of our hearts be locked deep down in
their chambers
The night, merely a cover up
For in its darkness, our hearts showed what our eyes may never see.
So just for tonight, let me love you and stay warm with you.
'Cause when morning comes, it would be a memory that never was existing.
15. OLD HABITS HARD
Monday morning was finally here again. Yawning widely, Tania had woken up
from the bed. She was so glad she was that her lectures were in the afternoon.
"Poor Anna", she thought. Anna had never been a morning person, but fate had
humoured her with an early morning lecture, ironically on Mondays all her four
years in college.
Having washed her face and brushed her teeth, she prepared some breakfast
and decided to step out of the room. Just minutes after stepping out and sitting
by the door with her phone, Gabriel had come outside of the house to drive to
work.
It was funny how she could always feel his presence and aura around her.
Lifting her head, she had seen him looking her way. There, he had sent a wave
her way. Wait, was Gabriel waving at her? Where had she slept?
Not sure what to make of it, Tania clumsily escaped to her room. What just
happened outside? Tania decided to brush it off.
Monday morning meant the beginning of a week full of work for Gabriel, not
that he minded at all. This week, there would be another round of discussions
between his company and the team that was sent from the company in
Australia.
In the weeks that would follow, the project would begin. Stepping out of the
house to drive to work, he saw Tania seated in front of her door with her eyes
on her phone. Whatever it was, he could not take his eyes of the girl in the
pyjamas with her hair almost falling out of the hair net.
"Did he miss seeing her like this, carefree and oblivious to how out of order she
looked?"
Before he could shake that thought out of his head and get into his car, Tania
had lifted her head to see him looking towards her. Out of options as to what to
do, he sent an awkward wave her way. And not sure what to make out of it, she
rushed back inside.
What was wrong with him? Lately, he realized he had been fuzzy around her.
Just the weekend, he told her she looked beautiful that night. And now, he had
been caught staring and sent an awkward wave to save himself.
It was certified, Tania had concluded; Gabriel was acting strange towards her.
When did he start waving at her?
Luckily, she went back inside before it had gotten more awkward. Having
nothing much to do, she had reviewed her research draft, gone through some
slides, and fallen back asleep.
Two hours later, her alarm had blown. It was finally midday. After getting ready
in thirty minutes, she'd set off to campus for her one-thirty lecture.
After finishing up all her lectures for the day, she submitted her draft together
with Anna.
"Tell me again, how long do we have to finish this degree thing?", Anna asked
exasperatedly.
With a chuckle, Tania answered, "3 months, 3 weeks, 5 days, 7 hours, 45
minutes, and 15 seconds.
" Ooh c'mon Tania, I just asked for how long and you just had to make it longer
with so many details."
Tania could not help but laugh. Anna didn't know but secretly Tania wished
they wouldn't complete anytime soon, as that would mean dealing with family
and there would be nowhere to escape to.
Resting a while on the lovers' bench before setting off to do other things in the
day, they talked about a few things.
"Heard from your cousin after the dinner?" Anna had asked.
Tania could bet that her friend was avoiding looking at her.
If Anna wanted to play oblivious, well she could play that too.
"Not really. But I plan to call him today. Any reason for your asking?"
Ooh no I just wanted to thank him for the dinner and ride back to campus last
Saturday."
"Ooh sure", Tania had answered trying to recall if she had thanked Gabriel for
the ride back home.
Anna had asked about the interaction between her and Gabriel. Even with the
fresh memory of what had occurred in the morning, she sighed and answered,
"Nothing's changed. We are just, you know, not in each other's way."
Seeing it was still a touchy subject for her friend, she had dropped the topic and
spoken about different things.
The meeting had gone successfully. Shearon together with Gabriel and
everyone looked forward to starting the project soon. After finishing all the
paperwork in the office and attended to everything that required his attention,
Gabriel decided to hang around the office for a while before he stepped out.
Within minutes, there was a knock on his office door.
"Mind if I come in?" Shearon had requested after opening the door a little.
"Yes, sure. "
"Hi Shearon, can I help you with anything?" Gabriel had asked.
"Are you busy right now?" Shearon enquired.
"No. I'm done with everything for the day. Just hanging around the office for a
while before I leave."
"I don't want to bother you and knowing your shaky relationship with my
cousin, I don't know if you would want to help me ", Shearon had said.
"What is it, Shearon?
Why don't you tell me, and I'd see what I can do", he'd sighed almost regretting
telling Shearon that his cousin was his ex.
"Do you have any idea where Tania's college is at? I would love to pass by and
give her a little visit. Any idea where the college is? I know she is not a resident
on campus. Thought I might catch up with her before she leaves for home."
"Yes, fortunately, I do. Let me wrap a few things up and I'd drive you
there", Gabriel had told him.
"Wow, thanks." "Much appreciated."
"Okay, let's say I meet you down at the car park."
The drive to the school had been smooth. Both men were comfortable with the
silence. Soon they reached Tania's college. They had stepped out of the car and
walked to the set of students sitting on the lovers' bench, only to spot Anna and
Tania.
Shearon had been glad the surprise had not been on him. It would have been a
shame if after worrying Gabriel for this little favour, his cousin had already gone
home. And there was another bonus for him; Anna was also there. Another
opportunity for him to get to know her, he thought.
Tania had been surprised to see her cousin, yet she had been more surprised to
see Gabriel. After the incident this morning, she was not sure if things could get
more awkward.
After a small talk with her cousin, Shearon and Anna had been caught in a
conversation forgetting all about Tania and Gabriel.
Both sat unsure to move closer and engage the other in a conversation. They
knew it would come out as fake and forced and more awkward so they kept
their space.
On second thoughts, what could they seriously talk about, Tania had concluded.
Pretending to listen to music, Tania had gone back to her reading. After a while
of struggle, she closed the book and just kept to the music.
People had begun passing by, and soon enough all kinds of looks were sent her
way;
Disdain ones, pitiful ones, nonchalant ones, and curious ones. Tania had never
minded those looks before. She had grown immune to them, but somehow with
Gabriel's presence there, she was becoming uncertain.
She mentally berated herself, she proved him right each time, trouble did follow
her.
"Hey Trouble Tania, is he your newest victim?" one bold enough had snickered.
Lost in the music, she had forgotten all about Gabriel until that statement. She
bit her lips knowing well that if they knew that he had been her ex, they would
have a field day, matching him up with Eli. She allowed herself not to care for it
wasn't their business anyway. All they did was pass judgement on her.
Tania lifted her head to take a glimpse at Gabriel, only to find him staring right
back at her.
Somewhere along the way, he had taken off his suit and rolled up his shirt, and
fixed his eyes on his phone.
Slowly,
she
looked
away.
Trouble indeed followed her around. Did things have to just get more awkward
between them, she sighed silently.
Soon a couple in the queer outfit had passed their direction. The girl had been
in
an
all-white
attire
and
the
guy
in
all
black.
"We are literally SO BLACK AND WHITE", the girl giggled.
They appeared to be in their freshman year.
That had caught the attention of both causing them to raise their heads to see
the couple.
It had sure evoked a particularly happy memory before all went haywire. But
that was in the distant past and it didn't matter anymore.
"I feel hungry. Is there a restaurant or eatery on campus close by?" Shearon had
asked bringing them out of their reverie.
"Yes fortunately there are a lot close by", Anna had responded.
"Good then, let's all go get something to eat", Shearon suggested.
Tania sighed. She was not allowed to those places anymore.
"What's wrong Tania?" her cousin had asked a little concerned.
"Unfortunately
I
can't
go
with
you
guys.
My sins got me banished from any of the eateries on campus", she had tried to
make a light joke out of it. Tania didn't have to raise her head to know they'd all
be staring at her with pity, with surprise, she did not want to find out by
returning their gazes especially that of Gabriel's.
"Okay, then l can drive us outside campus to eat", Gabriel said clearing out his
throat.
She was glad that had prevented any more questions or statements. The day
was surprising her as much as Gabriel was.
After a twenty-minute drive, they had found themselves at a restaurant outside
the
campus
and
soon
their
orders
were
taken.
Gabriel and Anna's orders had been the first to arrive.
Tania had not been paying attention till Gabriel scrunched up his nose at his
food.
She looked up to see Gabriel's food was full of vegetables he didn't love to see
in his food.
Out of impulse, Tania had taken Gabriel's meal and said to the waiter,"
He doesn't love seeing veggies in his food. So how about you make his order
with little or no veggies alright. Thanks."
She did not want to notice the three other people on her table watched her with
mouths agape.
"Old habits die hard", she murmured to herself knowing what she had just done.
Gabriel had been a little taken aback that she remembered his pickiness with
his meals.
"What else did she remember?" he allowed his mind to wander.
No sooner than later had the rest of the food arrived, and to everyone's delight,
Gabriel's food had little vegetables.
"Thank you. I appreciate the gesture", Gabriel had finally said to her.
After finishing their meals, they decided to return to campus. Tania was not
returning, since she had tuition today. After thanking her cousin for lunch, she
planned to get a taxi to the place.
Shearon had still been talking to Anna leaving Tania and Gabriel all alone.
Geez, she could never get a moment with him when Anna was around, and it
was beginning to get a little irritating.
Trying to move away with the excuse of getting herself a taxi, Gabriel had
unconsciously reached for her hand. The sparks had been there again like they
never left.
Hissing as if she had been burnt by something, her reaction caused Gabriel to
drop her hand.
"Are you alright?" he brought himself to ask.
"Yeah, nothing's wrong", Tania had answered a little doubtful herself.
"Tania, thanks for today."
Not knowing what exactly to say, she just nodded her head and moved forward
to get a taxi.
Anna was driven back to her hostel. After thanking them for lunch, they drove
back to the office so Shearon could retrieve his car.
On the ride to the house where she had been teaching their daughter, she
thought about everything that had happened today.
The wave, the looks, the food save, and the touch.
What was going on?
What was happening?
She could not deceive herself again this time. She closed her eyes and
remembered his words from not too long ago;
"Love must really be blind for me to have fallen hard for you even with your
manipulative and selfish ways."
With a lonely tear and closed eyes, she bit hard at her lips and murmured to
herself,
"Old habits die hard."
16. WHEN WE NEED TO TALK
Gabriel had been asking himself when he would be able to gather the courage
to talk to her. Gabriel, for the first time in his life, was scared to say the wrong
thing but he knew he had to do this. He and Tania had quite a few things to
discuss. He needed her to be very careful about what she would say to his
parents when she met with the whole family to apologize again.
And there was the fact that she was finishing school in some few months, and
he would have to know if she would still rent the quarters or not.
Then there was the thing about their relationship. He did owe her some
apologies for the things he had said to her.
Still, with his mind on his situation with Tania, he hadn't noticed Shearon's
presence in his office.
"Hey, are you okay?" Shearon asked concerned.
"Yeah, yeah, just thinking about Tania."
"Ooh sure", Shearon had said trying to appear unaffected.
Realizing how it sounded, Gabriel had tried explaining himself.
"No, not that. Just have some few things to clear up with her about my family."
Gabriel's statement had picked his interest so he went ahead to ask him what
he meant by that.
"You need to clear things up with her, concerning your family? I don't
understand, how?".
"It's a long story", Gabriel exhaled.
Shearon was now convinced that whatever the story was, was not a happy one
as he looked intently at Gabriel.
"Has she caused problems for your family?" he persisted though afraid of the
answer he might receive.
Gabriel had breathed in and said,
"I'm sorry but that's not my story to tell. You could ask your cousin about it."
With a determined look, Shearon gave him his response.
"Oh, you bet, I will." With that, he walked away.
Why did things have to get complicated when it came to Tania?
Gabriel rubbed his forehead lightly as he began to feel an upcoming headache.
He had to call her and know if they could meet at the house today to talk.
Well, before he could get around calling her, Shearon had beaten him to it.
Were his cousin's behaviour problems that serious?
Yes, his uncle had always complained, and so did Derek but now with his
colleague at work trying not to let out information concerning her actions with
his family, then maybe Tania did have a problem. Before he could think the
worse, he called her.
"Hello Tania, are you okay to talk now?"
Shearon had rarely used that tone on her. That tone of voice made her always
feel like, she had somehow wronged someone or something in the universe.
That tone was usually from her dad and big brother, but coming from Shearon,
she was slightly anxious.
"Hi Shearon, yes we can talk now. Is everything alright though?".
"Yes, everything is going well. Mind telling me what you have to clear up with
the Rocksons? What trouble are you in this time Tania?"
"Ooh no", This was not happening. How the heck did he find out? Of course, he
works with Gabriel. He might have told him plus other things, she reasoned.
"Tania?" Shearon had drawn her attention. "Do you want me to repeat what I
said?"
"No, I heard you the first time."
"I offended them in some way, and I need to apologize ", she sighed.
She knew her cousin would not let her off easily.
"What exactly did you do, Tania?"
There was no running away, when Shearon needed answers, Shearon got
answers.
"I burnt his family's tickets, and his business contract documents as a joke and
my action almost put his family in danger."
Saying it out loud to Shearon, she realized how much she regretted her actions.
"My God, Tania what the heck were you thinking? You burn someone else's
important documents as a joke?
Are you kidding me? I can't believe I'm about to say this, but all these years I
felt Derek and your dad singled you out wrongly, but with what you are telling
me right now, I think they are right. You dearest cousin, need to grow up and
become responsible. Enough of the childish retaliation, you are a young woman
now, no more a little girl.
Gabriel must have a really big heart to have rented you a place in his house after
what you did."
"But Shearon, I did apologize to his family. They just said it was a wrong time
for me to apologize", Tania had tried defending herself.
"You don't get it, do you? Sorries don't settle everything, especially lifethreatening issues.
Send me the direction to your place. Be expecting me there today or anytime
soon. Goodbye Tania."
With that he ended the call, leaving Tania more guilty and deflated.
Not
long
her
phone
"What now?" she thought loudly.
began
ringing
again.
Picking the call without looking at the caller's ID, Tania began speaking all this
while thinking she had been speaking to her cousin.
"I know now that what I did was wrong and I'm trying to correct my mistakes.
I've not been that great as a person, but heck I'm trying, Shearon.
Just don't let my mom and dad in on this. I don't want to cause more problems
than I already have. Please."
Clearing his throat, Gabriel had said,
"This is not Shearon, it's me, Gabriel."
She then took the phone off her ear and checked the name on the screen. It had
Angel written boldly on it. After breathing in for some seconds, she returned to
the
call.
"Hi Gabriel, anything I could do for you?" she tried keeping her voice, less on
edge.
"No Tania. I just wanted to know if we could meet today at home for us to talk
or discuss a few things."
"Haven't you already discussed everything with my cousin?" she wanted to say
these words to him so bad, yet somehow, she tried remaining calm and
said, "Okay".
Are you cool with us having at my place or yours?
"Please let's just have it at mine", Tania tiredly said.
"Alright then, I'd let you know when I come home."
Gabriel had ended his day's work and left for home. After a few business calls,
he walked to his car and drove home. Reaching home, he'd taken a long shower
and eaten dinner with his family. Dinner had been quite early today and he had
been glad it was.
"Mum, Dad, I'm stepping out for a while", he had told them. Before his curious
mother could ask why he rushed out. Gosh, he almost felt like a teenager.
Just a few walks, he was at Tania's door. Gabriel had already texted Tania to let
her know he would be there soon. Mrs. Rockson could not resist the desire to
watch her son through the window as he walked towards Tania's place.
Shaking his head at his wife, Mr. Rockson uttered, "Woman, you do know your
son is not a boy anymore."
"Of course, I do. But a little peep never killed anyone."
"Cmon dear, let's go to bed", Mr. Rockson said with a yawn.
On reaching Tania's place, he sent her a text. Soon he found himself inside.
Memories of not long ago were crawling down his skin but he knew those
memories had to be repressed. "Not now", he berated himself.
"Should I get you anything?", Tania had asked.
"No thanks, I'm good."
After a few silent moments, Tania began to speak.
"Over the phone, you mentioned you wanted to talk to me about certain things."
"Yes, I did. But are you sure you would be okay having this conversation with
us standing?"
That was when she had realized, she hadn't offered Gabriel a seat yet.
"Sorry, please have a seat."
"So I wanted to talk to you concerning a few things.
First, I wanted to talk to you about your next meeting with my parents. The last
time it happened, things took a nose dive so I was thinking meeting up with you
this time would help improve things more about the apology they might be
expecting from you.
Also, I wanted to know if you would want to keep your place here once you
complete college. Finally, I believe I owe you some long overdue apologies."
Tania was struggling to keep her emotions in check. She could not believe her
ears. What did he take her for?
That she could not fix her issues and yes the first apology didn't go as planned.
It didn't mean, she couldn't find her way to make the apology work the next
time. He didn't trust her with anything even to the extent of informing Shearon
about what she had done. And that pissed her the more.
"Haven't you already discussed everything with my cousin?" she had
stated annoyingly.
"Excuse me? I haven't discussed anything with Shearon if that's what you
mean", Gabriel had said calmly as possible.
"No Gabriel, excuse me. I have an issue with you and the moment my cousin
arrives in the scene, you go spilling everything to him.
Why? Are you afraid to talk to me? Or you think it's better to tell my cousin my
issues without my knowledge. Or maybe simply I'm not good enough for you to
talk to me."
"Again, Tania, I didn't tell your cousin anything. He asked me if you were in
trouble with my family and I only told him it would be better if he spoke to
you", Gabriel said frustratedly.
"Ooh, so you are the reason why he called me asking me about what I did to
your family. I can't believe this!
Gabriel, I'm trying hard to fix my issue with your family but why would you go
complicating things by involving my cousin?"
This wasn't the plan. Things were becoming heated and Gabriel wasn't liking it
one bit. He was trying hard to make things less volatile than this but here was
Tania acting like her trust has been broken by him.
"You just can't resist, can you, Gabriel. You always have to be the "angel" in the
picture."
Now that had hit a chord in his heart.
She still kept talking.
"You just have to always be the blameless, flawless one. Just want to know this;
Did you also let him know that you gave me a place here just to show you are
more humane than I am?"
Looking up at him, she shook her head and said, "Of course you didn't. That
would ruin your angelic reputation."
Gabriel was trying hard not to get mad but it wasn't working.
"Tania, I should have known better. You are never one to reason with. Besides,
I never asked you to burn those documents.
Maybe you should learn to think twice before you do something. Actions have
consequences so don't stand there trying to make this my fault.
I came here to reason with you but like always, I end up being proven wrong.
You are just too headstrong and selfish too."
You know I keep wondering why you keep forgetting that reasoning with me
never works. I'm Hades' betrothed after all. Chaos is my middle name, not
understanding. Remember you said it yourself", Tania said with a tear escaping
from her left eye.
That again had hit a chord in Gabriel's heart. "Tania, I'm sorry about what I
called you that day. " He tried apologizing in the midst of it all.
"Yeah me too", she sneered.
Gabriel realized he could not reason with her in this state, so he left. It was
better than they throwing their demons at each other.
17. WHEN WE MEET TO TALK
Gabriel had tried to talk calmly with Tania but like always, Tania got defensive
and unreasonable. "Why do I even try?" he had asked himself over and over
again. "Maybe it's hope and that's not a bad thing, especially for someone you
love."
Immediately the words found themselves in his thoughts, he'd known his heart
was whispering its twisted version of the truths again. "No, not tonight ", he
whispered to himself as he put down his laptop. He wished sleep could come
soon before his thoughts were invaded by her and memories shared.
Tania was angry and so sick and tired of people thinking she could never do
right on her own. She was trying but like always it was never enough. And that
broke her every time, especially if the one person in the depths of her heart, she
wished could see she was trying was not even giving her a chance to prove she
was changing. Gabriel had to just come to see her and remind her that she
wrecked everything that came her way.
And even tonight, she still remembered his words; each an image of
undeserving, flawed so much that even love wasn't for her. Tonight, she
repressed the memories of losing the love of her dad, being played a fool by Eli,
all the loves she destroyed, and never being good enough for Gabriel.
"Not tonight ", she painfully whispered but it was too late. The demons of her
past had come to play and she knew sleeping meant nightmares. She stayed
awake all night lying in her bed till dawn broke.
Shearon didn't want to break her favourite cousin's heart but this was beyond
him. Her parents needed to know what she had done and a suitable apology had
to be made along with the proper audience. Doing it alone with her would be
disrespectful to the Rocksons.
But he had to first talk to Tania before any actions were taken. Driving to
Gabriel's house, he realized it was an easy place to find. Soon he was inside the
house and called Tania to inform her he had arrived. Though she sounded a
little surprised, she walked out of her place to take him in. It was an awkward
moment between the two of them.
Shearon sighed and dropped the angry face he had been wearing.
"Come here ", he said as Tania ran into his arms. She needed that and didn't
want
to
let
go.
Taking her by the shoulders and looking into her eyes, he commented,
"You don't look too good, Tania."
"Yeah. I didn't get enough sleep last night."
"Should I get you something?" she tried changing the topic.
Shearon shook his head and said, "Just water will do."
He settled down as Tania went to get him a bottle of water from the kitchen.
Soon, she was seated by her cousin, waiting for what she knew would follow
soon.
Releasing his breath, he asked her, "What happened?" Closing her eyes and
taking a deep breath, she began telling him everything.
"I'm not gonna lie and say I didn't know what I was doing because I did. We had
been dating. He had been good to me despite how troublesome I could get. He
wasn't ready to let me go.
But soon, I couldn't control my insecurities any longer so I wanted a way out.
He was well-mannered, kind, and thoughtful, and even when I deliberately
offended him, he was still reasonable with me.
He didn't see it but I did; the looks everyone gave me when I was with him. As
if I had come straight from hell and no good was within me. I tried brushing
them off.
For a long time, I did. Then I became suffocated with everyone waiting for me
to prove them right; that I was wrong for him and that he deserved better.
So I started to push him to the limits. Always getting so angry and rude to him.
Till the day I asked that he allow me to clean his room and I lit a fire over his
documents and that of his family.
Somehow I knew that burning his family documents would tick him off more
than he could handle and also I'd get my chance to leave and be free of him. I
couldn't wait till he realized I wasn't good enough so I showed him. I wanted to
leave him before he did. We had a big fight that day and things have not been
the same anymore. I left his house that day but couldn't find a place to rent at
that time plus I'd been expelled from my school's hostels for constant
misconduct.
I came back here with all the courage I could muster, yet despite what I did, he
rented his boys' quarters to me.
Yes, I didn't feel sorry that night for what I did but when I saw his family I
realized I could have destroyed a family and since then I've been feeling sorry.
I did apologize to him and his family but I guess it went wrong", she finished
looking back at her cousin.
Looking deep into his cousin's eyes, he asked her, "Are you free? Are you free
from Gabriel?"
"I.. I..", that was all Tania had managed to say.
Releasing a sigh, he said, "I know you won't like it but you have to talk to your
mum and dad about what you have done. You need them to come to apologize
with you on your behalf."
Tania had started to grow panicky. "I don't think that would help. The last time
they were here, it turned a little ugly. "
"Yes
so
I
was
told.
Derek
mentioned
it
to
me.
I'm sorry but that's the only way out now. Don't worry I would talk to them
myself."
Within a few minutes, Shearon had contacted Mr Matthews. Well from the look
on his face, it hadn't been an easy task. She'd figured her dad would keep his
composure; that famous calmness before the storm until it was just him and
her.
"Your dad wants to know when the Rocksons would be comfortable to invite
them over. Maybe you should call Gabriel and ask him."
Tania just nodded, biting her lips so hard and her fingers coiled up slowly
trembling.
Shearon slowly led her to the couch as he tried to calm her.
" I know it's not going to be easy but it needs to be done. And the sooner it
happens, the better for all of us. And I know you didn't get any sleep last night
Tania. Somehow, I just know. "
With that, he sent a text to his colleagues at work telling them he wouldn't be
able to return to work since he had to sort out some family matters. With that
settled, he massaged his cousin's temples till sleep finally took her. With a kiss
on her forehead, he allowed her to sleep on his chest.
Taking off his shoes, he relaxed till he was also asleep.
Four hours later, Shearon was awake cooking supper for himself and Tania.
Since she was really in need of grocery shopping asap, Shearon made use of
what he could get. So aroni rice with sauce, it was then.
Not too long, Tania had begun to stir, and soon, she was awake. She smelled
something was cooking; she entered to see his cousin finishing up his sauce.
Surprised, she yelped, "You cooked?" "I guess I did.", Shearon said with a wide
smile.
"Now go wash your face and come for yours." "Sure."
Walking into the bathroom, the first thing she did was go through her phone to
see if she had any updates from her project lecturer. Seeing there was none, she
washed her face and decided to call Gabriel.
"Hi Gabriel."
"Hi Tania "
"About my situation with your family, my parents would want to come to see
yours. I was wondering when would it be okay for them to visit. "
"I really can't tell but I'd let them know when I get home."
They were both speaking like they'd been walking on thin ice. A little pressure
and things could turn ugly. Before she could hang up after saying thank you,
Gabriel asked, "Are you okay with that? I mean your parents speaking to mine."
Tania with a little tremble in her voice could only say,
"I'm afraid I don't have a choice. "
And with that, she ended the call.
18. BREAKING BAD
Gabriel conveyed Tania's family's request to visit. Tania's family intended to
offer the necessary apology on account of their daughter's misconduct to his
parents.
"I see. Tell them Saturday afternoon is a good time for them to come, that is if
they can make it this weekend", Mr Rockson answered.
"Alright Dad", Gabriel responded.
After confirming with his dad, he walked to his room to call Tania, leaving his
parents to watch their show.
"Hi, my parents said they would be able to accommodate your family. That is if
they can make it this Saturday afternoon."
"Alright then, thank you. I'd let them know."
Both of them had waited quietly on the phone till Gabriel ended the call.
Tania relayed the information to Shearon. Her cousin called her parents and
informed them about the situation concerning the visit.
"Alright uncle", and then the call ended. Tania sighed internally, deducing that
her siblings were not going to make it for this visit. She guessed it was such a
good thing they didn't have to experience this shame of hers as well.
"Your dad said they can make it this Saturday afternoon to see Gabriel's family.
He also mentioned to expect a call from him before then."
Tania cringed and it hadn't escaped the keen eyes of her cousin.
"You will be fine, Tania. This too shall pass", Shearon had consoled her.
"Easy for you to say", she thought out too loud. Massaging her temples softly,
she tried to down the migraine she was beginning to experience.
After a while, Shearon left for his place. Tania had seen his cousin off. With a
hug, they parted.
Gabriel had finally washed down after returning home from a day's work. Work
was progressing nicely as the construction of the new building projects had
begun.
The materials had finally been shipped into the country and those to be
purchased down here had also been sorted out.
After washing down, he had dinner with the rest of his family. The new school
his siblings would be attending was discussed over dinner. They were enrolled
to begin in the coming week.
After his family finished dinner, Gabriel went back to his room to answer some
emails and also send some updates concerning the project to their partner
company in Australia.
Not too long, his phone began to ring. Shearon was calling him. "Hi Shearon,
what's up?", he answered.
"Yeah Gabriel, I spoke to my cousin. And hmm it appears a lot has gone on
between the two of you.
I apologize for her misconduct that could have caused the lives of your family.
I'm sorry about that. My cousin tends to get a little out of the line if you get what
I mean."
"Don't worry Shearon, you don't have to apologize on her behalf. I just hope the
meeting with my parents goes smoothly. It's been long overdue..... And I think
she and I need to move away from this", Gabriel sighed.
Now he was feeling tired all over again because of a certain someone. He closed
his eyes and rubbed his temples.
"You know, Jade doesn't know how to communicate her feelings, but she's sorry
for what she did and almost did. I hope someday you'd be able to wholly forgive
her. And I know it's not my business to talk about the situation between you
two."
"That's fine. Thanks for... I guess what I'm trying to say is thank you", Gabriel
ended.
Before Shearon could bring the call to an end, he pushed his luck and asked, "Do
you miss her sometimes?"
With that, Gabriel opened his eyes, with his hands frozen in place on his
temples. "Did he miss her sometimes?"
For the first time, he thought about that question. That deep wrenching ache he
felt in his heart, that deep yearning for what he once had with her, that constant
eye searching for her presence. At that sudden moment, he realized amid
everything that had happened between them, he missed her so much, that
taking a breath right then had hurt like never before.
Realizing Shearon was still on the line, he answered his question, "I'm afraid I
can't talk about it now. Could we talk more later, please? My head is beginning
to ache."
FRIDAY BEFORE THE VISIT
Tania had woken up to a terrible headache, but she knew she had a lot to do
before the visit the next day. After cleansing her teeth washing down, she began
to tidy up her place just to make sure at least the place would look comfortable
enough for her parents. By midday, she had completed the cleaning of the flat
and taken a hot shower. "Whew, finally", she exhaled.
With her mind made up on having a nap, she slumped into the couch only for
her phone to begin ringing too loud.
Darn, her headache was back. She picked up the call rather too quickly that she
missed the caller's ID.
"Hello?", she answered groggily.
" Young lady, if you know what's good for you and all of us, you'd change that
tone right this moment."
That had been a bucket of cold water thrown into her face. She didn't need
someone to tell her who had called. She didn't have time to second guess as her
dad went straight to the point.
"Your cousin called to inform me about certain misconduct of yours. And
because of that, if we do not take care, it could tarnish our good name."
Tania bit her lips hard as her dad spoke. She fought against her thoughts to
apologize to her dad and explain herself. That had made her touch her cheek
absent-mindedly. She wouldn't make that mistake a second time.
"Young lady, I believe I asked you a question. Are you going to answer me or
not?"
Immediately, she was drawn out of her reverie. "Yes Dad", she replied to a
question she hadn't heard him ask.
And then the call ended. No questions about what exactly she had done this
time. Her dad had informed her when they would arrive and vehemently told
her she had better be ready.
"I can't come and waste my time on an irresponsible daughter like you."
Sometimes she thought her dad had always communicated this to her without
saying it. Her temples began to hurt more.
"Enough overthinking ", she berated herself.
Soon, she had fallen into a heavy nap after taking some painkillers. She needed
all her strength for tomorrow's fight.
When she finally woke up, she checked her phone to be sure, she had not missed
another call from her dad. She had received a couple of messages from her
favourite cousin. He had been able to convince her dad to allow him to be
present at the meeting with the Rocksons. That was quite a relief.
Maybe Shearon could tone down her dad's anger, she thought.
THE VISIT
At 6 a.m., the next morning, she was up after ignoring the alarm clock for a
while. Awake despite wanting to sleep some more, Tania washed down and
headed to the kitchen. Soon breakfast was done and served. As she was about
to settle down to eat, she heard a knock on the door. Tania had begun to feel a
little anxious.
"Isn't too early for them to be here?"
Checking her phone, she noticed it was barely past eight. Before her
overthinking could be the death of her, she walked to the door, hardly prepared
if it turned out to be her parents.
Slowly opening the door, she was more surprised to find Anna standing there.
"Don't you miss me?", Anna conveyed with a big smile on her face. Though she
was happy to see her, Tania had a lot going on in her head.
"Not that, I've just got a lot on my plate."
Afterwards, Anna got inside the house.
"Hey, what's wrong? Is it you and Gabriel again?", Anna asked with concern.
"Yes actually, but this is bigger than my issues with him. I'm hungry, let's talk
over breakfast."
Tania served Anna a bowl of porridge with bread. Sitting down on the couch,
they spoke about everything and the present predicament Tania was in.
"Tania, you have to calm your nerves down. Everything will be fine."
"Anna, you don't get it, I'm afraid this might be the thing that would get my dad
disowning me."
"Do they know about your past relationship with Gabriel?"
"They don't know about any of my relationships. I don't think I want them to
", Tania replied.
Before Anna could ask more questions, another knock was heard from outside.
Tania's anxiety was back again. She walked to the door with Anna trailing
behind only to find it was Shearon.
"Hello, Tania. Judging from the look on your face, I'm guessing you thought it
was going to be your parents at the door, didn't you?"
Shearon said as he walked into the house. Too focused on what he had been
saying that he didn't notice, there was another person in the room.
"Hi, Shearon", Anna had greeted.
"Hi, sorry I didn't see you, Anna."
"It's okay."
Speaking back to Tania, he said,"Your parents said they would be here in an
hour and thirty minutes. They are stuck in traffic at the moment."
Tania exhaled to that. Finally, she could relax a bit.
''Thanks for coming, Shearon."
"Anytime, cousin."
Before her parents would arrive, Shearon and Anna tried to help Tania calm her
nerves down but there was little they could do. Tania moved away to sit on the
next couch and left them to be on their own.
Soon they found themselves in a conversation about everything and nothing. It
was beautiful seeing Anna giving away full smiles to the jokes Shearon
appeared to be sharing. Tania was awed by the look of adoration Shearon had
on his face when Anna was laughing heartily.
She wondered if they would be good together or if someday his cousin would
find the guts to ask Anna out.
"Maybe they would be happy together.
Unlike me and Gabriel", she sighed at the thought. Looking at them from a
distance, she couldn't help but be a little envious of their little burst of
happiness.
Before she could scold herself for her selfish thoughts, there was a knock at the
front door.
Looking at the time again, she realized it was a quarter past two.
Well, this was definitely her parents who had arrived, she figured.
Straight to the door, she opened to see her parents with unreadable expressions
on their faces. She gulped as she tried saying hello to them. None of them
responded making things a little more heated than it already was.
"Are you going to let us in, or are we going to be standing out here?" her mum
asked her with a bit of anger.
"Sorry Mum, please come inside." Her parents walked in to see Shearon and
Anna in a happy conversation. In their presence, the room's temperature felt a
bit high. After the exchange of greetings, Shearon directed Anna out of the room
to give Tania and her parents some privacy.
Shortly as they stepped out, her mum burst out with her disappointment in
Tania.
"What exactly is wrong with you, Tania? You are so irresponsible, so stubborn
and you never listen.
Every time I believe you listened to my words of wisdom; you end up with a
different level of trouble. Do you know what image you've created about us to
the family you almost ruined?
That we did not raise you well and are as irresponsible and ill-mannered as you.
You should be ashamed of yourself, really ashamed of yourself for dragging us
into this."
Mrs Matthews continued to air her displeasure about her daughter's
misconduct. Her husband had to step in to calm her down.
Mr Matthews just looked at her irresponsible daughter and did not even say a
word.
"Are you going to call the family and let them know we are here or am I
supposed to do that as well?" he stated harshly.
"Sorry, Dad." With anxious hands, Tania placed a call to Gabriel.
"Hi, please my parents are in."
"Alright then, my parents said you could come with them to the house....
whenever you are ready", Gabriel said as he noticed the discomfort in Tania's
voice.
"Okay thanks", Tania responded.
"His parents are ready to receive us", she informed her parents with so much
anxiety.
They walked to the big house. Anna had returned to Tania's place as Shearon
had gone along with Tania and her parents.
Soon they all arrived in front of the Rocksons' home. Gabriel ushered them in.
Tania consciously tried to avoid meeting his gaze as Gabriel greeted the group.
He led them into the study where both his parents had been seated. As everyone
took their seats and pleasantries were exchanged, Tania was asked to tell the
whole group what wrong she had done.
As if that wasn't bad enough, her mum continued to put up signs of displeasure
in front of the group.
"Honestly, I'm sorry and I apologize for my misdemeanour ", she had
concluded.
Saying sorry these days wasn't easy for her, but she knew it was time to wipe
some parts of her sheet clean. She was breaking from bad after all.
Unknown to Gabriel, Mr Matthews paid very close attention to every bit of his
conduct as her daughter spoke of her wrongdoing. After her daughter was done,
he went ahead to question him. "Gabriel, if you don't mind me asking, what's
going on between you and my daughter?"
Now, that had caught everyone off guard. This time, Tania had looked straight
into Gabriel's eyes with a silent plea. Her parents couldn't find out about her
relationship with him, even if it was over between them.
Shearon found the scene playing before him really interesting. He could see her
dearest cousin was panicking.
Obviously, from the expression on Gabriel's face, he was caught between the
devil and the deep blue sea. From nowhere, he remembered his conversation
with his mum about the wounded bird.
"We used to be close friends, Sir."
"I see", he murmured to himself though he wasn't buying what Gabriel was
saying.
That was a matter to be dealt with another time, he reasoned. Soon, the matter
at hand was discussed.
"Mr and Mrs Matthews, my wife and I are grateful that you granted us your
audience despite the dangerous situation our daughter almost put your family in.
We are sorry about that. And if there are any damages to be paid off, please let us
know. It would be cleared immediately."
Tania was feeling a thousand times worse. "Wait, were there damages to be paid
off? Why hadn't Gabriel told her anything?"
19. FOR BETTER, FOR WORSE
Tania was feeling a thousand times worse. "Wait, were there damages to be
paid off? Why hadn't Gabriel told her anything?"
She raised her head and settled her eyes on him. "Why?"
She hoped he read the question in her eyes. That was the only thing she wanted
to communicate with him. But looking at him always drew her in. His obsidian
eyes always had that effect on her.
The look lingered for a while, but both were oblivious to it. Shearon let out a
cough, seeing what was transpiring between them. Instantly, Tania dropped
her gaze.
Mr. Rockson quietly studied the parents of the young lady. If his guess was
right, her parents seemed respectable and disciplined. They were very wellmannered. Studying both parents against their daughter, he realized this was a
typical case of a disciplined family with an irresponsible troublesome child.
He sympathized with the young lady's parents. It was not easy raising kids
these days, let alone for parents to put all their efforts into nurturing a child
only for the child to grow irresponsible and troublesome.
"Mr and Mrs Matthews, my wife and I are so glad you made it today. We indeed
accept your apology on behalf of your daughter. You do not have to worry about
the damages. It's already been sorted out."
Mrs Rockson went on to add her voice.
"As parents, sometimes, our kids mess up really badly. I believe that the young
lady here has learnt her lesson.
And we all hope she becomes a better person. This situation could have been
worse with loss of lives and family but we thank God, it didn't escalate to that
level."
Gabriel's mum then threw an invitation to dinner with the Matthews. Upon her
insistence, they accepted the offer.
Deep down, Tania had been glad the issue had been settled, but what she hadn't
expected was the invite to dinner. She was not prepared to share a table with a
certain someone. Soon, Mr Rockson asked the young people to excuse them.
Gabriel along with Tania and Shearon had stepped out of the study. As they
reached the living area, Tania walked out onto the balcony.
"I need some fresh air", she responded to their questioning looks.
With Shearon and Gabriel left in the living room, Gabriel could not help his sigh.
He was never one to keep pretense for long.
"She's out there. Maybe you need to go talk to her. I think you both need it.",
Shearon finally let out.
"Anna is at Tania's place. I'm going there to check on her."
Gabriel nodded in response to his statement.
As he reached the balcony, he called out to Tania. She was so lost in thought. He
sighed as he touched her shoulders, informing her he was heading to her place
to check on Anna.
"And maybe you should go in there and talk to him. You don't have all the
answers, dearest cousin. Just stop being stubborn already", he whispered into
her ears and rushed out before his cousin started arguing her way out.
Tania closed her eyes and tried to calm her nerves down. It was never easy
when it involved him. And like always, she felt his presence.
Suddenly, she opened her eyes, and there he was, leaning by the door, which
led to the balcony.
"Are they calling us back?" she asked him.
" No, they aren't."
He knew they might not be called back. She could rest her nerves now.
"Tania", she heard him call her.
"Why was he still here?" she bit her lips in time before she sounded harsh.
Sending a glance his way, she waited for him to finish his statement.
"We need to talk."
With dread filling her, she managed to find her voice and asked, "About?"
With a defeated sigh, he responded,
"I think it's time we finally talk about what happened between us and put that
behind us and....even move on."
Tania's eyes grew larger. Those last words had hit a chord and even without
knowing, she had reacted. Gabriel was a little taken aback.
He hadn't liked the last words he had uttered himself; he hadn't expected Tania
to react the same way.
"What was he missing? Had Tania been.........."
Before he could continue with his line of thought, he had been interrupted by
her response.
"Okay", she had said with that level of indifference in her voice every time she
pretended, she was not affected by something.
"You didn't want any of our parents to find out about our relationship. Why?"
Gabriel knew he was treading dangerous waters. He remembered how easily
defensive she could get if she felt attacked. Expecting her to get all defensive
and angry about it, Tania surprised him with her calm answer.
"Everyone knows I'm trouble and never up to no good. Always the one making
bad choices. I didn't want any of them to know about the relationship we had.
Especially your parents, I didn't want them to think you couldn't make good
choices when it came to people you dated.
I almost ruined your family because you chose to have a relationship with me.
I don't need them to know that. And my parents, I just settled one of my
troubles. I don't think I need them beating me up anytime soon for almost
ruining the life of my boyfriend. Sorry, I meant my ex. Thank you for covering
up for me", Tania huffed.
" It's alright then. It's one of the reasons why we need to talk. I don't know if
you can recall correctly, but we never broke up with each other. We had a fight
and an argument but we never broke up in the technical sense of the word.
"Huh, what does he mean by we never broke up? "
Suddenly, she remembered those words against her good judgment.
"I can't believe I was living with evil itself. No one will ever disgust me more
than you do."
Gabriel watched as her demeanour changed into a pained appearance.
Regret washed over him all over again. Taking a deep breath, he painfully
uttered his next words.
"We need to talk, Tania. We can't go on like this."
With a single tear running down her face, she asked,
"Don't I disgust you anymore?"
Gabriel choked on his next words. He yearned to say sorry but right that
moment, he was tongue-tied.
Slowly, Tania walked away before she broke down in front of him. Standing
alone on the balcony, his voice came back to him.
"You've never disgusted me, Tania. Not then and not now. And I'm sorry for my
harsh words that night."
How he wished he'd uttered those words before she walked away.
Tania joined Shearon and Anna. After staying a little while with them, Tania
excused herself to her room.
Immediately she hit her bed, she silently cried into a pillow. Not so long, she fell
asleep. Anna had left a while ago. Shearon went to Tania's room to check on her.
With her door slightly ajar, he realized she was asleep coiled up like a child.
Lifting a strand of hair off her face, she shifted a little.
"Tania, you need to wake up. The dinner at Gabriel's house will be soon."
Shearon didn't have to wait for long. Tania was soon awake rubbing her eyes.
"How long did I sleep?", she asked.
"About thirty minutes. Anna already left. She didn't want to worry you, that's
why we didn't wake you up", Shearon informed her.
Nodding her head, she got up to cleanse her face a bit. Shearon had noticed the
dry tears on her face. Even her pillow was a little damp. Too much had
happened today. He was going to let this slide. After changing her clothing, they
walked toward Gabriel's house. Luckily, he had been outside the house, so he
walked them into the house.
Not long after, dinner was served. All of Gabriel's family had been present.
Keren seemed excited to see Tania again. Sharon still had her brooding attitude.
Each family sat adjacent to the other at the dining table. After a short meal
prayer, everyone began to eat.
All was quiet till Keren exclaimed,
"Eeewwww not again. Noodles! Disgusting! "
Everyone lifted their heads to see the little girl weirdly twisting her noodles.
"Keren, table manners?" her mother reprimanded.
"Sorry mummy."
Everyone smiled and returned to their meal. Tania had lost her appetite.
Hearing the young girl use the word "disgusting" hit a chord.
Both Tania and Gabriel had frozen when the word was said. Mrs Rockson hadn't
missed the change in demeanour in both of them. Both Gabriel and Tania's dad
had not missed it too. Tania forced herself to finish her food. Tania helped
Sharon and her mum clear the plates. Soon everyone settled in the living room.
After a final expression of gratitude and appreciation, the Rocksons saw Tania's
parents off. Before leaving, Mrs Matthews had informed her daughter that she
was expected home the following week. Tania had not even objected to her
mum's demand. Not that she had a say anyway.
Soon enough, Shearon had taken his leave. Mrs Rockson had sweetly informed
Tania that she could come to her for anything and never hesitate if she ever
needed help.
Gabriel's parents retired for the evening after asking their son to walk Tania to
his place. They walked in unnerving silence till they reached her place.
"Thank you", Tania said curtly.
"Tania, wait. Before you walk away from me a second time today, I'm sorry. I
truly am. I hope we get to talk real soon."
"Good night, Gabriel", Tania articulated after Gabriel ended his statement.
With that, they parted ways. Finally, the dreaded day was over, Tania thought
as she went to sleep.
20. TILL HURT DO US PART
They say home is where your heart is. But when your heart is broken and you can't
even find the pieces; when you're lost and it's tearing the family apart, where then
is home? ~Shag
It had been two weeks since the Matthews visited the Rocksons. Tania had
taken the trip home as requested by her mom. The home was suffocating.
Everyone was indifferent toward her. They acted as if she had committed a
heinous crime. Two days later, her dad was scheduled for a business trip with
Derek. Tania had shared only a few words with her mum; it was as if her mum
couldn't stand her presence.
She kept to herself and her room. Each time, she ran into her sister, Jenna, she
looked at her with scorn. Heck! She didn't care. Jenna could loathe her all she
wanted.
One late afternoon, she heard Jenna at her door.
"What did she want?", Tania sighed. "The door is open, you can come in?"
Jenna walked in to see her sister at her study table.
"What do you want?", Tania asked a little harshly.
"What exactly is your problem, Tania? Mum told Derek and me about the
situation you got them into."
Okay ", Tania had said with no interest in whatever her sister had to say.
"Okay? that's all you have got to say? You are just so full of yourself, you know
that. You don't care how your actions affect us as a family. It's all about you and
your selfish rebellion."
Tania was too tired to argue right now.
"Jenna, I can't do this right now with you. Please kindly leave my room."
"Well, I'm not leaving till you hear me out. If you don't know, your actions are
affecting us as a family. Mum and Dad have started arguing lately and you are
always the topic. Won't you just change and give us all some peace? I'm tired of
all these troubles here and there. We've all had enough!"
"I'm asking you a second time, please..leave...my...room", Tania said breathing
heavily.
" I told you I'm not leaving till you hear me out."
Tania couldn't hold it in anymore.
"I don't know what gives you the moral right to come into my room and throw
accusations at me but I've heard enough.
I'm sorry but not every one of us can play the 'perfect daughter' role as you do.
And I say, you are doing pretty well, dearest sister. However, my business is not
part and has never been part of your role play so stay out of it."
"Well, I can't when lately mum has been crying and arguing with dad because
of your irresponsibility. I can't stay out of it when it's tarnishing our family
name. I can't stay out of it when you are not trying to be a better older sister."
" Well, you don't need me. You are doing very well on your own, Sister
Valedictorian", Tania sneered at her.
"This is not about me; it's about you and your bad choices. Just grow up already.
I'm tired of playing your role. Thanks to you, I can't live my life as I would so
want. Every decision I take is to make Mum and Dad proud because you, dearest
older sister will be out there planning and executing your next plan of trouble.
And everything I do, I need to excel because they deserve to be proud of one of
us. I'm doing everything to keep the family together but you just selfishly ruin
it every darn time."
"I'm not asking you to save me. I never have and never will. Besides, we both
know how much you love being in Dad's good books."
"Well at least, I didn't try to end the lives of another person's family!"
"Get out of my room", Tania spat out.
" I hate you, Tania, I hate you so much and I'm ashamed to have you as a sister."
"I...don't care. Just get out!"
Tania slammed her door as Jenna walked out. Jenna had rushed to her room
with tears running down her face. She hated her so much; even if they were
sisters. Tania had always been selfish and irresponsible; she didn't even care
how it affected others around her.
During her visit, her mum didn't come to her room. It was as if she avoided her.
They shared a few words at dinner and even fewer words when they prepared
meals for the family.
Soon, Tania had to return to school. She told her mum and Mrs Matthews had
just
nodded
at
her.
It
was
killing
her
inside.
Before she left, she went to her mum's room to inform her.
" Mum, I'm leaving for school."
"Okay."
That
"Mum, I'm so.."
was
the
only
thing
she'd
said
to
her.
"Hope you have informed your dad you are leaving.", her mum cut in.
"Yes, I did.", Tania had answered.
With that, her mum took some painkillers and turned to the other side to sleep.
"Mum, I'm so sorry for everything I've put the family through. Please forgive
me. ", Tania offered before getting up to leave.
Jenna had met her older sister leaving for school. Tania had been polite enough
to
let
her
know
she
was
set
for
school.
"I'm leaving."
With so much disdain for her, Jenna replied,
"I hope you never come back. That would be less trouble for us all."
Tania had heard her but she dismissed it. Her dad was furious with her and
stated bluntly that he didn't care about what she did with her life anymore. It
was a shame she had wasted her talents and skills on just being a bad nut. He
made her aware that if she found herself in yet another trouble again, he would
shamefully disown her.
Derek and Jenna were good enough as his children. As the bus picked her up
from her street, she'd taken a second look at what she'd never been able to call
home. Home was where the heart was. But where was her heart? Even the
broken pieces were hard to find. She was lost, and now she was tearing her
family apart.
That day when her dad chose to take Jenna on a trip meant for her - that had
been the beginning. Hurt had torn a daughter and a sister away from her family
and the only thing she could remember was Angel's words;
"You always destroy the good things that come your way." Why? she asked
herself as she wiped a lonely tear off her face.
21. A DRUNK TO BEHOLD
A little tipsy and a little more love.
Little drops of water they say make a mighty ocean. For her, it had been little
tastes of alcohol. Just a month and Tania had grown alcohol dependent. Having
a high tolerance for the substance, she had been able to conceal the habit.
Thanks to Menthol and others, her breath was void of alcohol.
Things had begun to fall apart; the centre could not hold anymore.
Schoolwork, family, and past relationships were overwhelming her. She was
breaking down.
Tania had been hesitant about opening up to Anna. She did not want to worry
Shearon either; he had been pretty busy since they began working on the
building projects. She was afraid to open up; coming up with excuses was her
way of rationalizing her fear. She wouldn't want to disturb others with
problems entirely her fault, she thought.
Today, Tania had gone beyond her limit. It was bound to happen. The type she
took was too sweet and one could forget his problems and forget it was alcohol
too. There was no way she could make it home on her own. She was boozed up
and too weak to move.
After much deliberation, she decided to call her cousin. He was much safer than
a stranger with an Uber, she reasoned. She dialled him thrice, but he was not
answering. She dropped her dying phone back into her bag and decided to rest
her head. Her head felt heavy.
"Hello Miss, we'd be closing up soon", the bartender said to her.
With that, she lifted her head. "Sure, can you help me out with something?
My phone's off and I need to make a call. Can you help me out?"
"Sure, just give me the number and I will reach out for you."
Tania had been too drunk to realize, she'd given out Gabriel's contact rather
than her cousin's.
Gabriel had seen his phone beep. Someone
It was a little late for anyone to call him, he thought.
was
calling.
He picked up, and the guy on the line had called him Shearon.
Before he could correct that, the caller had mentioned Tania.
That alarmed him.
Tania, half-drunk at a bar?
He took the location and rushed to the place.
Gabriel had informed his mum once he got in his car. Tania was stuck
somewhere and needed a ride home. That was better than telling her of Tania's
true predicament at the moment.
As he drove to the bar, he wondered about Tania. What was happening to her?
She was changing so much. He feared for her; Was depression setting in?
He thought over those words as he drove to the bar.
Soon he walked into the bar. There she was! Tania had her head on the table.
Gabriel
gave
her
a
tap
on
the
back.
There was a bit of shock seeing Gabriel instead of Shearon.
After speaking to the bartender, Gabriel moved to her side and asked if she was
alright enough to leave with him.
"Can you walk on your own?" Tania shook her head and allowed Gabriel to walk
her
to
the
car.
She wondered why Gabriel was here and not Shearon, however being too weak
to argue, Tania allowed Gabriel to help her home.
She fitted so well in his arms, he realized. But everything that happened
between them always drew them miles apart.
"Not now", he reprimanded himself. He could not be engaging such thoughts
now.
The car ride home was a bit silent. Tania kept drifting in and out of sleep. She
was stuck between knowing what was happening around her and lost at the
same time. Gosh, why was her sight blurry all of a sudden, she thought.
Soon they had reached home and Gabriel helped her inside her place. The place
looked a little messy. This was so unlike Tania. If there was something about
her he could never forget, it was her need to always have things arranged and
together.
Something was wrong, he concluded.
He thought he could get her to sleep on the couch but seeing how the place
looked, there was no way he could leave her there.
"Errmm, mind if I get you to your bed?" Gabriel had asked her.
Tania had just nodded and he helped her to the bedroom.
Gabriel helped her sit on the bed. He went ahead to help her rid her legs of the
sneakers she'd been sporting. As he decided to rise, out of nowhere, Tania was
hugging
him
ever
so
tightly.
What the hell was happening?
He tried to reason it out; She was quite intoxicated and a little emotional.
"It's just a hug, Gabriel. Relax", His mind had tried to reassure him.
He gave into the hug and allowed his body to relax around hers.
Thank
you, Ang...
Gabriel.
Gradually, Tania tore herself away from him... only to find herself staring at him.
She was caught in a stare; she couldn't help it. She kept glancing at his face, then
down to his lips several times till she felt her sight becoming blurry again.
As she fell to her side, Gabriel had caught her in time.
"I
think
it's
time
you
got
some
rest."
Gabriel could not deny it. Tania had been staring deeply at him, especially at his
lips. The alcohol was getting into her head. She needed to rest before...
Her lips had found his. He didn't know when and how but right at that moment,
Tania was kissing him.
Gabriel was surprised. This was wrong. He had to break the kiss. She was drunk
for
heaven's
sake!
But before he could make a wise decision, the sweet flavour of the drink Tania
had taken hit his breath. Heck, that was maddeningly sweet. He wanted it and
he wanted more. Against all his better judgment, he found himself kissing Tania
deeply.
Soon they broke away for air but with nose and lips not far away from each
other.
"Tania...", Gabriel whispered.
Before he could finish those words, Tania had uttered words of her own.
"I love you."Gabriel froze when the words hit him. What!
Suddenly, he was back to himself. He looked at Tania and realized she still had
an intoxicated look on her face. The alcohol had not yet worn off. He had to leave
and she needed to rest before things.....
Heck, he didn't want to think of that.
"You need to rest now, Tania."
With
a
nod,
she
laid
down
on
her
bed.
He then walked out of her sleeping quarters into the living area. What had he
just done with Tania? If anything, she was drunk but he wasn't.
What had he been thinking? Gabriel wondered as he held his face in his hands.
The hug.
The kiss.
More about the kiss
And the words that followed.
He secretly wondered if she meant it. He had heard several times how honest,
people were when they were drunk... But he'd also heard about other people
speaking a bit of nonsense when drunk.
Could it be that Tania...? He was tired. There was work tomorrow.
With that, he walked back to his place. With much strength he could gather, he
washed down and went to bed.
The Next Morning
Tania had woken up with a painful migraine.
Ouch! Her head was hurting so bad.
Heading to the medicine box, she swallowed up some painkillers. This would
do, for now, she thought. She couldn't remember a lot from last night. And her
dreams!!
How had Gabriel all of a sudden invaded her dreams? How was she caught up
hugging him and to the extreme of kissing him?
Something was off. The more she tried to remember, the more painful her
migraine grew.
Gabriel had woken up a little tired. He couldn't get enough rest last night.
Between his mind drifting back to last night's episode and trying to sleep, it had
been a battle. After a few workout sessions in the morning, he prepared for
work.
He got to work a little later than he ever had. His colleagues had been
concerned. Everywhere, he passed, he was asked if everything was alright.
There had been one person he was trying to avoid; Shearon. He didn't know
why but he felt guilty about what happened between him and Tania last night.
Seeing Shearon would remind him so much about the bad decision he made last
night.
"Hey Gabriel", Shearon had called out to him as he moved away from the coffee
room to his office. He had stopped walking as Shearon tried to reach him.
"Can I talk to you a little in your office? I promise it won't take long." " Yeah
sure."
With that, both men walked into Gabriel's office.
Shearon was slightly worried.
"Have you seen my cousin today? She called me three times late last night
but I was asleep. Didn't see any of the calls."
"Um yes, I haven't seen her today. But I did last night. She was kind of stuck
somewhere and needed a ride back home. So, I offered to pick her up. I'm
thinking that's why she tried to call you."
Something was off. Tania was outside after 11? What exactly was she doing to
be outside that late? Where exactly was she?
Seeing that Gabriel was not forthcoming with information, he decided it would
be better to visit her at home today after the close of work.
Gabriel lacked attention at work today. He was so disoriented. His attention was
somewhere else...more like on someone.
Well, he had called her before. This wasn't going to be any different. It was
better than sitting here in his office and worrying his head over what he didn't
know. He took his phone out and dialled her number.
On the first ring, she didn't pick. He tried it the second time and Tania answered
the call.
"Hello?", she'd answered.
"Hi. Sorry, I couldn't check on you in the morning. Hope you are doing well?", he
asked trying to hide his nervousness.
"Yeah, I'm good. Thanks. Just have a bashing headache that won't stop."
"How many did you have last night Tania?"
"Huh, how many what?" she sounded puzzled.
"I was the one that picked you up from the bar last night."
What!! All Tania could do was breathe deeply. He knew. There was no need to
pretend or play ignorant.
"I lost count after a couple of drinks. It was too sweet for me to remember."
"Of course, it was. Too sweet that you wanted your share off her lips", his mind
tormented him.
Clearing his throat, he asked, "Mind if I get you drugs on my way back home?
"Yes, thank you. I'd appreciate that.
Gabriel was acting up. Did something happen between them last night? Did
they...well...you know?
No, they didn't, she reasoned. She woke up fully clothed aside from her sneakers
being off.
"Eerrmm, Gabriel, can I ask you something?"
"Yes, you can.", He sighed fearing the question that might follow.
"Did anything happen eerrmm between us last night? I can't seem to recall
anything from last night."
Tania had chosen to keep the dreams to herself. It was embarrassing enough to
have been drunk last night and driven home by Gabriel.
"Could we talk about that when I get home, please? I'm not sure it could be
discussed on the phone."
Something did happen last night
With that said, Gabriel ended the call.
then,
she
had
concluded.
Gabriel had left thirty minutes earlier than normal since he had to get to the
pharmacy. It was a Friday and traffic would be tight on the road.
After bidding his colleagues farewell, he drove out of the company. He wished
he had told Shearon he was leaving but he was nowhere to be found.
He had gone to the building site with a few of his colleagues.
Stuck in traffic for fifteen minutes, he called Shearon to let him know he had left
because he had to get a few things on his way home. All Shearon had said was
"Sure."
Finally,
he
was
at
the
pharmacy.
He got the drugs he wanted and drove home. Fortunately, there was no traffic
on the road home.
On reaching the house, he had washed off and had an early dinner with his
family. After, he went to see Tania with the drugs.
Tania had opened the door after a single knock. She knew who was at the door.
After their call, Tania had grown a little restless.
What had happened between them last night?
She hoped she didn't pull off a drunk prank or however, it was called.
"Hi"
"Hi"
"Eerrmm you can sit down."
"Thanks."
"So...I got you the drugs from the pharmacy. It could alleviate the migraine and
nausea you might be feeling faster."
"Thanks again."
Now there was deadly silence. No one was ready to speak.
With a deep breath, Tania had asked.
Can you tell me what happened last night?
"I took you from the bar and brought you home. The place was a little messy so
I asked if you would rather want to be helped to your bed. You said yes so I
helped you there. Got your sneakers off and... you fell asleep."
"And... that was all?" Tania asked unconvinced.
"I'm sorry if talking about it makes you uncomfortable but I need to know."
Breathing in deeply, he told her the whole truth.
"After helping you take off your shoes, you hugged me and said thank you. Then
you...we kissed and you said you loved me..."
The shock on Tania's face was indescribable. She was speechless. She badly
wanted to say that everything had been a mistake and she had been drunk but
something was stopping her from uttering the words.
"You don't know that, do you?"
This was what Gabriel had wanted to prevent. The look on her face. Almost as
if she'd messed up with something or someone again.
It was going to be painful but he had to utter the words. That would make things
a little lighter to carry. Accidents happen. So do mistakes.
"You don't have to worry about what happened last night. You were drunk and
I was caught off guard. It was a mistake, Tania. No need to worry your head
about it."
Of course, it had been a mistake. Was she going to be foolish enough to believe
otherwise?
She was drunk last night. Most definitely not in control of her actions and
words.
"Thanks for the drugs. I appreciate it." With that, Gabriel requested to take his
leave.
As he left, Tania thought through his words. He had said everything was a
mistake but why did it feel otherwise? Or was it just foolish hope on her side?
For all her crimes, he could never love her... back. Not again, she thought.
No sooner had Gabriel left than Shearon arrived at the house. He went ahead to
knock on his cousin's door.
Not too long after, Tania came to open the door... only to find her favourite
cousin wearing his unfavourable face - annoyance.
"Hello Shearon", Tania greeted him. Tania knew something was wrong.
Had Gabriel told him about......?
Before she could finish thinking up her theories, he'd asked her.
"Where were you last night, Tania?"
"I..."
"And before you even think about lying to me, I already checked your location
last night through the three calls, I missed from you.
And I have already called the place and made my inquiries."
"So dearest cousin, do tell. Where were you last night and every other night
since the past four weeks?"
22. TRUTH OR DRUNK
EXCERPTS FROM THE LAST CHAPTER
"Where were you last night, Tania?"
"I..."
"And before you even think about lying to me, I already checked your location last
night
through
the
three
calls,
I
missed
from
you.
And I have already called the place and made my enquiries."
"So dearest cousin, do tell. Where were you last night and every other night for
the past four weeks?"
She knew there was no escaping this situation with Shearon. Especially if her
cousin had done his research. Tania knew it; Shearon was mad at her. And he
was waiting for his answers. One glance at him and she knew she would break
down. Shearon was one of the few people who could see right through her. And
what he detested the most was lies especially when he already had the answers.
Looking anywhere but his face, she told him the truth.
"I've been spending most of my nights at the Treasure Bar. I... I've been drinking
lately. I didn't know what to do."
"I'm a mess. I've been in a mess and when I realized alcohol could help me deal
with my problems, I embraced it. I'm sorry but I needed it. I've got my project
work to finish up and I needed my head cleared up from a couple of problems.
"
Tania was playing strong like she always did even when she was breaking
down. He could not stay mad at her forever. But why did she not confide in him
or Anna?
"When was the last time you had a good night's sleep, Tania?" Shearon had
asked.
"I don't remember."
"When was the last time you ate properly?"
"It's been a while. "
"When was the last time you felt genuinely happy?"
"I don't know. "
"Tania, look at me. "
She shook her head.
"Tania, look at me...please."
Slowly she lifted her head and tears filled her eyes as she looked at her cousin.
Shearon caught her in an embrace. He let her cry; she needed it. Tania
harboured so much pain within. After a while, the tears halted. Tania sat on the
couch beside Shearon.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
Shearon asked her. She breathed in and slowly shook her head.
"You know sooner than later you would have to, Tania. The alcohol won't help
you forever and I won't have you becoming an alcoholic if I can so help it."
Shearon knew he had to give her time but he couldn't help it. He wasn't going
to allow alcohol to steal another person from him. He had suffered enough
because of that.
"Let me order something for us to eat", he stepped out to place the order.
After getting himself together, he walked back into the room. Tania seemed a
little relaxed now. Finding some drinks in her fridge, Shearon took one for
himself and Tania. He realized the fridge needed restocking.
" Gabriel mentioned he drove you home last night?"
Tania only gave a silent nod to the question. Shearon gave her a lingering look
and after a deep sigh, she began to speak.
"I was trying to reach you to come to pick me up. I think trying to reach you, I
mistakenly gave his number as yours to the bartender last night."
"How many drinks did you have?"
"I don't remember. I lost count after a couple of drinks."
Before he could ask anything else, there was a knock at the door. The delivery
guy stood with the order as Shearon opened the door to take the package. With
a thank you, he got back in.
Soon, they were both eating. Tania couldn't eat that much. She took the drugs
Gabriel had gotten her and tried to take a nap. Shearon had stayed with her
throughout the night.
Shearon contacted Anna and asked if she could come to visit Tania tomorrow.
"Tania has not been well, Anna. She kept it away from all of us. I think she's
depressed. She's showing all the signs."
"Wow, now I feel bad for not prying when she told me she was fine", Anna said
regretfully.
Anna felt bad. She'd been so preoccupied with her project. And the little time
she earned was spent on herself and getting to know Shearon. Gosh, how did
she not see the signs with Tania?
The Next Morning
Shearon had managed to sleep on the bigger couch at Tania's place. He woke up
in the morning to find Tania still asleep. It might be the drugs she took last night,
he thought. After washing his face, he called Anna to find out if she could do
some grocery shopping for Tania.
"Hey, Anna. Hope you're doing well. Please can you do me a favor?"
"Hi, Shearon. I'm good, thanks. Sure, what do you want me to help you with?"
"I would love for you to do some grocery shopping for Tania. She hardly has any
food items here at her place. Don't worry about the money. I'm wiring it to you
right away."
"Oh okay. That's alright. It won't be a problem."
Not long after, Tania woke up. She appeared extremely tired and hungry.
Rubbing the sleep of her eyes, she realized her cousin was still there. She was
thankful he had stayed.
"Go grab a shower and come eat something", Shearon had told her.
She did just that before having some cereals. Tania was reminded of the grocery
shopping she kept postponing. After taking her drugs, Shearon informed her
that he had to leave.
"I realized you were low on groceries. I've asked Anna to get you some things.
She would drop by in an hour or two. I will see you soon, okay?"
"Thanks, I appreciate the concern. And I'm sorry for...."
"It's alright, Tania. We all make bad choices sometimes."
Shearon left to get ready for work.
Anna arrived three hours later at Tania's place with more than enough
groceries. The driver had helped her bring the items from the boot of the car.
"Thanks, Mr. Adu. I appreciate the help very much."
With a nod, he walked and drove away. Anna gave the door a single knock as
she texted both Shearon and Tania.
Shortly after, Tania came out of the quarters. After a level of tense greetings,
Tania helped Anna bring the stuff in. Tania, being ashamed of what she was
going through, had resulted in acting indifferent toward Anna.
"I know what you are doing, Tania. Trying to push me away but you know it's
never going to work."
With a defeated sigh, Tania slouched back and uttered an apology.
"I'm sorry too, Tania. I've hardly been around."
"It's okay. It's hardly your fault. I got so much on my plate and didn't want to
trouble any of you."
Gradually, the kitchen was well stocked with groceries. Anna helped Tania to
prepare some stews. No sooner than later, they sat on Tania's couch eating
lunch. It was a peaceful kind of quiet between them. Yet there was chaos in
Tania's head. She needed to talk to someone before she burst up. Anna had
always been her go-to person when she felt like opening up about her problems
but it's been a long while. Maybe she couldn't tell Anna everything today but a
little was good enough considering who she was.
"I've decided to see the psychologist like you suggested, Anna."
"I think that's great ", Anna said trying not to sound too excited or anything. She
knew who she was dealing with and Tania didn't need that now.
"Yes, I think it's been long overdue ", Tania sighed. Anna knew like old times
she had to give her room to vent out.
"And for a month now, I've been tripping this bar getting all the alcohol I could
get my hands on into my system just to drive my demons away. But guess I was
deceiving myself. And now, I'm dragging Shearon away from work into my
problems. Just imagine my mum and dad finding out their troubled daughter
becoming an alcoholic. I've already failed them...........
When it came to the issue of her parents, Anna knew Tania felt she was never
good enough though she hardly confessed it. To make things lighter, Anna cut
in with a joke.
"Tell me, at least you kissed more princes than frogs on your alcohol spree,
right?", Anna said with a little playfulness in her tone.
An alarm blew off in Tania's head. Kiss? Gabriel?
Well, Anna didn't know that so why was she getting all worked up? She tried as
fast as possible to act neutral, but Anna being Anna had already caught her.
Giving Tania a smirk, she asked, "Just tell me it's a stranger you would never
have to meet again. And...if it was that good l promise to help you find
him." Anna said with a little laugh and way too much excitement.
Tania knew Anna would never drop it and being too tired to fight her off, she
tried telling her after a heavy sigh.
"I... kissed someone. I was too drunk to remember the episode. Like you, I wish
it was a stranger too but he wasn't. "
"He was no frog, Anna, if anything, I'm the unwanted ugly duckling in this
kissing episode," Tania said with painful dry humour.
Now Anna was worried. Tania had kissed someone she knew but was beating
herself up again just because she felt not good enough. Despite her curiosity,
she was not going to ask Tania who she had kissed. She tried to change the topic
and at just that moment Tania had offered the who of the kiss.
"How's the pro........"
"I kissed Gabriel."
"Huh?"
Now Anna understood why Tania was beating herself up. Tania's relationship
with Gabriel was very complicated. Everyone close to her knew that. Suddenly,
Anna embraced Tania.
"Hey, you don't have to beat yourself up. You were drunk and didn't know what
you were doing. It happens to the best of us."
Tania was getting a little teary now. "Not only that Anna, I don't know but he
says I told him that I loved him."
Now Anna held her breath.
Tania never spoke about anything. The only time she opened up was at her most
vulnerable state which was when she had been mentally drained or drunk. She
hardly even spoke up when mentally drained and she hardly ever got drunk.
Adding one to one, Anna knew just like how Tania had known that if she indeed
said those words, then it was not an intoxicated statement. She had opened up
about something she had for so long denied.
"It's alright, Tania." You are no Ugly Duckling like you tell yourself to make the
world feel good. You are a beautiful bird, just wounded that's all. And I know
you will heal, girl. It's just a matter of time ", Anna said looking deeply into her
eyes.
Wiping a single tear off her eye, Tania playfully said, "When was the last time I
called you wise?"
"Ooh about two years ago. And yes I'm very very wise. Remember I was named
after my grandma who is named after her grandma and her grandma was
named after her grandma and it goes on and on. Most definitely, I am a wise
one", Anna said with both of them laughing.
As they decided to take a nap, Tania heard a knock on her door. Anna offered to
go check it out only to find Gabriel standing there with some cookies and hot
chocolate drinks.
"Hi, Gabriel."
"Hi, Anna."
"Hold on for a sec and let me fetch Tania for you."
With a nod of approval, Anna went to fetch Tania.
"Gabriel is here to see you."
"Erm, thanks. I'd go and check out what he wants."
Tania had only reached there to see Gabriel in casual attire with a handful of
cookies and chocolate drinks.
"Hope you don't mind, my mum told me to bring you these", Gabriel rushed to
say.
"Please come inside."
Anna had somehow found a way to excuse herself, leaving just the two of them
in the living room.
After dropping the tray with the goodies gently on the table, Gabriel and Tania
were still standing awkwardly.
"Please would you like to sit down?" Tania remembered how her brain always
forgot to give Gabriel a seat at her place.
"Thanks. But I think I would be on my way."
Did she do something wrong just now?
"I'm sorry but I insist even if it's for a minute or two."
Gabriel finally sat down when he was sure Tania meant it. He did not want to
intrude.
"How have you been, Tania?" he asked.
"I've been much better. The headache is almost all gone. I've not been able to
come to say thank you but I really appreciate you getting me the drugs. And I
do apologize for you having to pick me up from the bar in my bad state. Thank
you."
It's alright. You don't have to thank me, Tania. I wanted to and I'm glad I did", he
said looking straight into her eyes.
Tania swallowed deeply. She hadn't expected that. She was in a state of
confusion and right there her eyes fell onto his lips. At that moment, she
remembered her conversation with Anna about frogs, princes, and ugly
ducklings.
Gabriel had to clear his throat before Tania realized she wasn't being
conspicuous anymore. Heck!
Gabriel realized that Tania had begun to feel embarrassed about what just
happened so he offered an excuse to leave.
"I'm needed at the house right now and I'm sorry but I have to rush back."
"Sure, thanks. "
As she opened the door for Gabriel to leave, she couldn't help but watch his
retreating back. Painfully, she closed the door.
One thing was sure; She might have been drunk that day but the kiss and the
statement that followed were as honest as Tania could get.
But who would believe a troubled drunken girl's profession of love?
No one in their right mind would, and... Gabriel was absolutely in his right state
of mind.
23. OF MISSING PERIODS &SISTERS
Jenia had been excited about finishing third year. As tough as it was, she'd done
brilliantly well like she always did. Despite her family problems especially
involving her sister, Jenia was grateful to make her parents proud
again. Thinking back on her sister, she felt angry and... disappointed.
Never had she mentioned it but she had always wished they were like other
sisters who shared stuffs, laughed, cried and fought together. Yet the only thing
they did was to fight and disagree on everything.
Not too long, Derek had called her to congratulate her.
"Hey little sis, how are you? Congrats on finishing up your third year."
"Thanks Dee, how's mum and dad doing?"
" They are doing well, Jen."
'Heard from Tania?" she released a heavy breath.
"Not directly, but Shearon said she was fine the last time we spoke." Derek
didn't make any deal of it.
"Hey go out today and have some fun. Wiring some cash to you right away."
"Thanks. But you just know I'd just end up coiled up reading a book or
something."
"Hey no , I forbid you from reading today or snuggling with that teddy bear of
yours."
The teddy bear —the only thing she had of her sister.
"Fine there's this trip to the beach for a bonfire picnic tonight. I might just go
with the others."
"That's right. Have fun but be careful."
Jenia had joined her mates and friends to the party. There was so much noise
and fun. Few people she knew at school were there; that seemed to relax
her. The night was still very young.
Feeling thirsty, Jenia asked one of the few people she knew where she could
grab a bottle of water. After squeezing herself through the crowd, she finally
laid her hands on a bottle of water.
"Judging from the way you finished that bottle of water, I'm not sure you are
done being over your thirst", Jenia turned her back to face a young man bearing
two cups of drinks.
"I don't mind sharing", he said. Jenia looked him in the eye. He didn't seem
dangerous. She took the drink. After a few moments of chats, she finished the
sweet punch. Unknown to her, the drink was spiked. It was a silly game by the
guys at the party to share spiked juices with unassuming lady victims and watch
how disoriented they became. Some of the dudes even went to the extent of
sleeping with the unfortunate victims.
Jenia had woken up disoriented the next morning. Her eyes and head were on
fire.
She had woken up from the bed with a guy she didn't know. There had been
others lying on the floor with a couple of used condoms. Jenia suffered a
massive hangover due to the potency of the drug. She had slept throughout the
whole journey back to school. On reaching her campus, someone shook her
awake.
"Sleeping Beauty, it's time to open your eyes." She opened her eyes to find a
young smiling man holding her right shoulder. "Thanks."
Weeks later, Jenia became slightly paranoid as her period was five days late
according to her calendar. She feared for the worse.
"What if I'm preg...?"
She couldn't even get herself to finish that line of thought. Having no option,
she dialled her sister's number. Picking up on the third ring, she sounded a little
disinterested.
"I don't have time for your tantrums, Jenia. What do you want?"
"I'm sorry to bother you but I think I might be pregnant. I've done the
pregnancy test. It read neutral."
"Sister Valedictorian went dilly dallying and I have to deal with this", she
sighed.
"Never mind forget I told..."
"Just meet me at the hospital close to your school. Will be there in an hour
", Tania interrupted.
An hour later and true to her words, Tania arrived at the hospital. She sent a
text to Jenna to find out where she was. After finding her sister, there seems to
be awkward moment between them.
"Hi. Thanks for coming, Tania."
"Trust me, I don't want to be here so let's not waste energy and time on
diplomatic niceties."
Not so long, a doctor attended to them.
Some tests were run on Jenia and the doctor assured them she wasn't pregnant.
Both sisters released a breath of relief.
"The other tests results will be ready in three days. Be rest assured, everything
will be fine."
Their next visit to the hospital was without drama. The doctor informed them
Jenia was experiencing anaemia hence the delay in her period. She was
prescribed some drugs and specific foods to eat.
Tania was glad this ordeal was over.
"Thanks for the past few days, Tania. I really appreciate it."
"I wasn't really given a choice thanks to being the "big sister ", Tania dismissed
her appreciated with her usual dark humour.
"I don't really have time on my side so please stay out of trouble and take the
drugs as prescribed. "Stay perfect, dearest sister like you always have."
With that, Tania walked away and boarded the first bus that stopped home.
"That sister of mine wanted to make me an early auntie. I'm not even done
learning to be a non-troublemaker. Such irony. "
HAVANA CABANA
Gabriel's company had awarded his employees their annual midyear break. The
employees were granted a two weeks holiday trip at the company's beach
house.
Shearon decided to invite Anna and Tania for the trip. However, Tania wasn't
done with her second round of project work. Her lecturer had travelled a while
ago and got in this week.
"I'm sorry I won't make due to school work but you can go with Anna."
"You need a break, Tania", Anna groaned.
"Trust me, I know. But my project won't finish itself and my lecturer can't seem
to stay at one place for long. So, I have to stay back and sort my project."
Clearing her throat, she focused on her cousin's face and spoke her next words.
"Did you say it was a company's trip?"
"Yes, it is and yes he will be there, " Shearon side eyed her.
Before they left, Shearon handed a paper with details of the beach house to her
cousin.
"Just in case something changes and you can make it."
He deliberately did not mention the fact that he, Anna and Gabriel plus another
friend would be staying at Gabriel's personal beach house kind courtesy of his
senior position.
After chasing her lecturer for a long time, she finally got hold of him and
submitted her work. The lecturer took a double glance at the document and its
owner.
"Tania, is it? Come see me next week and we can conclude on your project?"
"Hopefully eternity won't come before next week", she stood up politely with
that worrisome thought in her mind.
Lately Tania found herself missing her sister's numerous texts.
"What is it again, Jenia?"
She had planned not to answer but Jenna could be relentless when she wanted
to. Finally, she gave in and placed a call through.
"Is everything okay, Jenna? Honestly, I told you I don't have time for
babysitting", she sighed when her little sister answered the call.
"Yes. I'm doing well and taking my drugs. My period found me at last but I've
been trying to reach you on a completely different situation. "
"Go on I’m listening, dearest sister."
"So, I met someone and I would love for you to meet him?"
Okay, Tania wasn't expecting that news.
"Wait a minute... Is he the one you went dilly dallying with?
"No Tania. And I didn't go dilly dallying with anyone. "
"Well at least you are not Valedictorian for nothing."
"Shouldn't you be having this conversation with big brother dearest?"
"Tania, I already told him he would be meeting you soon."
"Well, I'm sorry but that's not even possible. Right now, I'm on a school trip."
"And please just one more thing, stop including me in your stuff. Let's not
pretend we are the best of sisters. Clearly I'm not. "
With that, Tania ended the call with her sister. She rubbed her head so hard to
stop the migraine she'd been dealing with the past few days.
"Maybe I could reconsider that trip now."
"Hi Shearon. Is there still a spot for one person on the trip?
"What's up? Changed your mind?" Shearon had asked her.
"Yeah", she said with a little haste in her voice.
"What are you running away from this time, Jade?" Shearon asked with
suspicion.
"Nothing really. Just finished earlier than I anticipated."
"Okay, see you tomorrow right."
There was too much noise in the background so Shearon hanged up before
Tania could reply.
Well, she didn't have to really wait for tomorrow. It was just a three hour trip
to the town and an hour to the beach house.
She could do it today. A good surprise for Anna and Shearon.
Gabriel wondered why Tania didn't make it for the trip as Anna was here.
Shearon had mentioned Tania had a meeting with her lecturer concerning her
project.
"Lost in thoughts again?", The voice behind him echoed a pebble hit his back.
He turned to see Angela with a number of pebbles in her hands.
"Bullying nice gentlemen again?"
Angela just laughed and shook her head.
"You gotta stop thinking about work. We are here to have fun.
Now indulge me, would you?"
"Lol you are a crazy little one."
"Well, I'm sure you can't get enough of it", she winked at Gabe.
From afar, Anna watched on and began to analyze the situation ahead of her.
Shearon joined her in the balcony.
"Still watching the love birds?"
"Not exactly", she tried to escape the question.
"Are they together or something?"
"From what I know, they are just friends."
"Ahem sure."
"Dinner is ready. Call the rest in including the love birds."
She laughed but did just that.
Tania had just spent four hours on the road.
The traffic jam was serious. She had gotten to the town just before dusk and had
boarded a taxi to the beach house.
"I'm here, Shearon, come pick me up please."
24. A TWIST IN TIME
"Tania arrived at the beach house only to see Angela and Gabriel kiss from
where she stood. A pang of hurt passed through her chest but she tried to brush
it off.
Walking closer to the group, she made an effort to be pleasant.
With a bit of forced formal gesture, Tania offered a few hellos to the group
deliberately avoiding Gabriel's face.
Shearon stared at his cousin with amusement.
"Hell will surely rain before this trip ends" He grinned to himself.
Anna stood up from her and helped Tania to her room. Shearon followed with
the bags she brought and couldn't stop smiling to himself.
"Trouble in Paradise, sweet cousin?"
Tania turned to face her cousin and sighed.
"Tease me any day, big cousin but please not today."
With a mock sign of defeat, he hurried up with Tania's bags and was soon at the
door of the room allocated to his cousin.
Gabriel felt so burdened about what had just happened.
"It was supposed to be a silly kiss game but it doesn't feel like that. "
He knew he and Tania still had some unresolved issues concerning their
relationship but why did it feel like he betrayed her by kissing Angela?
"Is there something I should know cause I'm beginning to feel like I just
committed a crime? Wait, is this about you and Tania again? I'm feeling like a
homewrecker right now."
"I might not have told you everything between me and her. It's
complicated. We've broken up but we have not yet broken up. "
"You know you are confusing me right now."
"Yes, I know. But the thing is we are yet to end our relationship."
"Well, this is complicated. "
So, if I get you, you more or less have betrayed your non-broken-up exgirlfriend by our truth or dare kiss.
Gosh, Angel, I hate the position you've placed me in. "
Standing up, she groaned, "I'm going to get myself some wine to push this whole
complication down.
And I need to apologize to your 'girlfriend- not - my girlfriend' too.
I love drama but this one, not sure I want a taste. Now I'm going to be liable to
looks bearing knives for the rest of the vacation”, she said playfully causing a
little smile from Gabriel.
As she walked away, Gabriel sighed heavily.
"I'm going to get Tania some snacks. How about you two catch up? "
"Thanks, cousin", Tania offered as Shearon closed the door behind him.
"How was the trip here?" Anna asked once they settled on the bed.
"Thankfully it wasn't stressful till..."
"Just to clarify your thoughts, it was a game of truth and dare."
"I don't think I need to know, Anna. To each his own", she said with a bit of
staged nonchalance.
"Your reaction said something else, Tania. Something totally different."
"I'm just tired. Just need to rest and I'll be fine." "Besides we are not dating
anymore, she kept the thought to herself."
Weird how he believed they had not broken up and yet he was kissing another
girl. Of course, she didn't care; he could do whatever he wanted.
"Yet you can't stop thinking about it, Tania."
Anna shook her head as Tania blinked back into the present.
"What?"
Just then, there was a knock at the door.
Anna opened it only to find Angela with two glasses of wine.
"May I come in?" Angela had requested politely.
"Ummm sure", as she tried to confirm with Tania.
It seemed Angela wanted a moment with Tania hence Anna excused herself
accordingly.
"Let me check on Shearon and the snacks." With that, she stepped out.
So, with her bubbly self, she squealed, "I come bearing a welcome /pacification
gift." Angela offered Tania the other glass of wine but with a managed
resistance, Tania replied, “Thanks, but I don't drink.... anymore ", her vocal
mind finished within.
Placing the other glass on the bed table, she stood by the wall sipping softly.
"Hope your trip wasn't stressful."
"No, it wasn't."
"But your kiss with Gabriel was."
Tania swallowed down that thought and offered a thank you.
"And I'm sorry you caught me in a kiss with your yet-to-be ex-boyfriend.
Honestly, it was a game of truth and dare. And if I had known, I wouldn't have.
My apologies, from one sis to another."
"I assure you there's no problem. He can be with whoever he wants. We are not
together anymore. "
"Yet you guys have not officially broken up, so that makes it slightly
complicated. "
"I don't think you owe me an apology. You don't have to. "
"But he does, doesn't he?"
"I never said that."
"You don't have to. You might be a closed book, Tania but once in a while, the
wind might blow and open you up. And just so you know, I'm an avid reader,
especially of those things that do not want to be read.
Tania was not expecting to hear that, yet she acted unaffected.
Angela finished off her wine and looked up at her and uttered.
"Whatever hold you have on him, you need to let go. It might be the very thing
that destroys him. Who did this to you? Who has you so much beaten up by
love? Who put you on this road of self-destruction? Who did?"
As soon as Angela ended her statement, she walked out of the room.
Her eyes found the wine on the table with its crimson hue. Without a second
thought, Tania made a decision. Her bleeding heart needed that, rehab or not.
Not too long, Shearon and Anna walked in with more than snacks. Tania could
not be thankful enough. The food would suffice for what her body could not
have any more of - alcohol. That little empty glass was enough to lead her back
to her bliss.
As they were eating, Anna caught a glance at the empty wine glass. She looked
up at Tania to see her eating with a surprising amount of
concentration. Something was definitely off but that could be discussed later.
Later that evening, the group met again to share some childhood stories. That
was a no-no for Tania. She was not ready to summon the unfriendly ghosts of
her childhood past. She stood up and excused herself. She ran towards the
beach. She had eaten a lot tonight. She needed to burn some calories. On
reaching the beach, she walked to the rocky side. She sat there and did a deep
reflection on her day.
Did she not care about the kiss? She sighed heavily. This was supposed to be
an escape room from her reality but it was beginning to look otherwise.
She stared deeply at the tides plummeting on the beach and began to speak.
"Would it ever end —
This feeling of loneliness and pain
I say I don't care
But the wrecking heart doesn't think same.
It doesn't think same.
What do you do with a heart that won't let you be?"
She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply the saline air. Then a tear came falling
down her face.
Each person had shared his story and it was now the time of Shearon. A
particular memory nipped at his mind.
" If I remember correctly, I was a little above ten. I was staying with my uncle's
family for Christmas. I had one cousin who was different. She was troublesome
and curious. In my eyes, she was fun or I just needed someone to tag along
during my days of mischief. My cousin was a great partner in crime, he
chuckled. There was a day we had all watched a movie about Santa putting
gifts under little kids' beds. We had been so excited about it even 'my most I –
don't believe – in –Santa cousin.'
We all went to bed but somehow my cousin didn't. I got thirsty after a while in
my room and came down for some water only to try and find her bringing down
a jar of candies heavier than her six-year-old hands.
"What are you doing?" I whispered. With her broken front teeth and the look of
someone who knew what they were doing, she whispered, " I want to play Santa
this Christmas. Maybe Jay and Derry will play with me more and don't call me
naughty anymore." That had touched my little heart. I helped her put the candy
jar on the table as she picked some out.
"Do you want me to help you sneak them into their rooms?"
"No, I want to do it all by myself", She said with a burst of pride."
" Go ahead then before someone sees you. I would put the jar away for you", I
assured her.
With the joy of purpose, she crept into each of her siblings' rooms and put some
candies under their pillows. Surely when they woke up, they'd think it was
Santa's and she would tell them she did and they will be happy together again.
Morning came and as they laid their bed, they each found the candy. They were
so happy. They came down for breakfast and couldn't hide their
excitement. They feared their mum would seize the candies since the dentist
had told Jenna not to eat any more candies.
After breakfast, they entered their playhouse to play. Then they both started
talking about their candies. Tania was happy her idea had worked.
Before she could disclose herself as the one who gave them candy, her brother
asked her with a silly grin on his face, "Did Santa give you candies too?"
"No, he didn't because I...... " before she could end, her little sister chipped in.
"He didn't give you because you've been naughty and unkind."
"That's not true. The candies are from me. I put them there last night."
They assumed their sister was lying and began to mock her. "Liar, liar pants
on fire" She got pretty mad and pushed them down on the ground as she
crashed the candies with her feet. I was on a call with my parents. I had finished
and was on my way to play with my cousins when I saw my favorite cousin
storming inside the house. I asked her why and she said her siblings called her
a liar. Before I could ask more, I heard my littlest cousin crying so loud. I got to
the playground to find her with a deep cut on her neck.
"What happened?" I asked them.
"Jade pushed us because we called her a liar and her neck touched a nail on the
slide."
"Go call mum", I told him.
I tried to coo her to stop crying.
"Am I going to die?" she asked naively.
When I shook my head, her panic dissipated.
Not soon later, their mum rushed to the playground and carried my little cousin
into the house washed and cleaned up the cut.
Thankfully, it wasn't that deep but later that evening the family physician came
around and took a look at it.
Tania had been coiled in her room all day only to come out with puffy eyes. She
had been crying. But that didn't stop her parents from scolding her and putting
her off playing.
"Mama, they called me a liar and that was not true."
Her father looked at her and uttered, "So you hurt them? No Christmas gifts
for you, Tania. We would send it to the needy kids."
That was how she was denied her first camera. And even till now, my cousin
hates Christmas.
Anna and Gabriel didn't have to be told. This was more about Tania than it was
off Shearon.
Gabriel couldn't sit still anymore after hearing her story. Few things were
beginning to make sense. She had always been a bit standoffish during the
Christmas season. Everything about it annoyed her.
He excused himself from the group and walked towards the path Tania had
taken. It was a warm night.
Soon he saw her sitting on one of the rocks throwing pebbles into the sea.
Maybe he shouldn't disturb her, he thought. But a big part of him wanted to be
there. Perhaps they could finally talk about something. Safer topics, he noted.
There was a change in the air. She felt a presence not far behind her. Tania
didn't have to turn to know who it was. She remembered always teasing him
about his breathing strides. He got closer. Maybe it was time to get back in, she
thought.
Before she could get up, he stood too close.
"Mind if I sit by you?" he asked.
"Sure. You can. I... was kinda just about to leave."
He took a deep breath of the saline air and responded,
"Don't leave on account of me, Tania, please. I could leave if you want me to."
Now she was stuck. The decision was thrown back to her.
"I don't mind. You.... can stay if you want to."
She kept throwing the pebbles. This time to distract herself. A few minutes
passed. Then Gabriel spoke.
"How are you, Tania?" he asked. Tania could sense an underlying concern
behind his tone.
"I've been good, thanks."
He didn't say anything else and she felt obliged to respond the more.
"I'm getting cleaned. The alcohol, I'm seeking help about it. And again, thanks
for getting me home the other time."
"That's good to hear."
"Yes, though I find myself yearning for some pretty large amounts tonight", she
kept that to herself.
Still throwing the pebbles, she needed to kill the hope burning within her. The
maybes of Angel and her back together. She did what she did best; selfsabotaging the situation.
Breathing in, she said with false indifference.
"I'm still me, Gabriel. I haven't changed. I'm not a Saint now. I'm still the old
me. I just hope you didn't come here looking for an angel. I can promise you
disappointment assuredly.
Gabriel looked sternly at her and uttered with every bit of calmness he could
master.
"Tania, look at me."
She was defiant as always. He knew he had to push so he touched her hand
with a bit of firmness. The sparks were there again. It was burning her up. She
wished they could stop so she gave in to looking at him.
"You're hurting me", she lied.
"No, I'm not and you know it. You feel it too, don't you? Why do you choose selfdamage, Tania?"
She scoffed and without a second thought replied,
"Like how you choose to kiss her? We all have choices. "
Closing his eyes with a deep breath answered,
"It was a silly truth and dare game. Angela and I are just friends."
"Trust me you don't owe me any explanation not that it's any of my business. I
just need you to see this is my truth and not a game."
With that, she decided it was her cue to leave. Trying to stand up, she slipped
on some wet pebbles and was almost falling out on a sharp rock. Gabriel caught
her up immediately. She had only just cut her leg. He held her to his body
almost afraid to lose her.
"Be careful next time, Tania."
She gathered the courage to look into his eyes and offered a thank you.
He replied with a nod as he swallowed. "I got you, always."
He said with his eyes. She looked in his eyes and …. lips. She could leave with
being a mistake once but twice?
That was too much. Not thinking through, she told one of her cold truths laced
jokes.
"Two occasions and it's been one as a mistake and two as a game. Just eager to
know what you would call the third. humor me, will you?"
He'd seen through her ploy.
He wasn't going to be her puppet. She needed to hear the truth. He had enough
of her twisted escape games.
"Talking about truths, two was a game, I admit.
Now, let's talk about one. It was never a mistake. I wanted to.
But when dealing with actions over intoxication, you need to save the image of
the intoxicated."
"That's what I did. It... was...never... a... mistake", he enunciated looking directly
at her.
Going down to tie his handkerchief on her leg. He helped her to the beach house.
Everyone had retired inside when they arrived. Just some empty bottles left on
the table.
"Can you sit here and let me fetch the first aid kit."
Tania had given him a nod. Not long he was back and administered some drugs
to the sore.
Unfiltered, she sighed. "Heck, I need a strong drink rehab or not."
Gabriel's eyes found hers. She was doing this on purpose. He knew he wanted
him to look at her judgingly but he did nothing of that sort. He was never going
to feed her demons again. When they walked into the beach house, she said
thank you.
"One last thing", she said with defiance in her eyes.
"Tell your girlfriend, the red wine was much appreciated. Next time, she should
bring two bottles. "
Before she walked away, he moved to her and said,
"I hope you don't forget this; Two will always remain a game.
But one was never a mistake.... drunk or not. I changed my mind. Not saving the
drunk's image anymore."
With that, he walked away.
"No more games, Tania. No more", he told himself.
25. DROWNING KISSES
The next few days passed without any incident. Tania made the effort to join
the others for the various activities planned. After spending two days indoors
and keeping to herself, Anna and Shearon talked her ass out of the room.
Gradually, she tagged along for afternoon boat trips and the barbecue nights.
She was beginning to realize the beach air did magic for her— It put asleep her
struggling demons. Tania usually woke up early and helped Anna with the
meals, once done she vanished behind one of the caves on the beach with a little
notebook to write about her feelings.
" I see you've been avoiding Gabriel, dearest cousin", Shearon said to her one
afternoon when she got back from her regular cave trips. She sighed and
wondered when the others would catch up with him.
"No l haven't. We just don't run into each other. "
"Ooh I see, how calculated your movements have been lately," Shearon
muttered sarcastically.
"Can l go now? I'm sweaty and would like to wash down. "
Sure, but meet me here again in twenty minutes. I'm taking you somewhere.
I've got something to show you." Looking dubiously at Shearon, Tania was on
the verge of asking the wheres and the whys clouding her mind, but Shearon
was fast enough to interrupt.
"Though it would have been fun to see you at your wit's end, a certain angel
won't be there. Thank you."
"See you in twenty then."
Tania showed up in a mini short and a lemon t-shirt with JADED inscribed on
it. Shearon looked at her with a curious glint in his eyes. "Paying homage to
your name, I see." "Please can we go now?" Tania muttered a bit irritated. They
strolled towards the rockier parts of the beach. It looked deserted and Shearon
deemed it a good place for the discussion he wanted to have with his little
cousin.
Finding a less steep area, they sat among the rocks. Looking deeply at her, he'd
asked. "How have you been, Tee?" "I've been better. Being here is sorta helping
me clear my head and ...... (heart, which she didn't utter out) I like it", Tania
quickly added. "And the alcohol?" Feeling uneasy, she responded, “It’s getting
better. My next session with the therapist is at the end of the month." Shearon
nodded gently to her words. "Is there any reason why you have a couple of
tonics stashed in your bag, Tania?" "I found out about them when I asked you
about having an extra charger." Tania remembered that day she had been on
one of her cave trips and Shearon had wanted her spare charger. Being far from
the beach house, she had directed her cousin into her bug. "I know this might
not sound very true but l put those there some time ago prior to this trip. I had
forgotten about them", Tania hoped Shearon would believe her.
Not commenting on what she had said, Shearon finally opened up about
Desiree. "Do you remember Desiree?" Of course, Tania recalled the ever excited
and jolly girlfriend of her cousin. "Everyone knew her as a happy party girl with
no care in the world. But no one except me and her doctor knew that she was
battling alcohol addiction. We tried many therapies and doctors and finally she
was getting better. She had been sobber than I'd ever known her to be. What l
didn't know was that her liver had begun failing and her kidneys as well. The
day l found out, I got to her place that evening and saw lying unconscious on
her kitchen floor. Beside her were her favourite drinks and some medicine. I
knew what she'd done but I hoped with all my heart, that she'd be alive. I rushed
to her and she was cold. I knew she was gone. Desiree had taken her life.
Scribbled roughly on a paper under her fingers were my name and an apology."
Shearon had tears in his eyes. "I'm sorry, Shearon. I didn’t know that's how she
died." No one know, Tania except her parents and l. I've lost someone to alcohol
once and I'm not allowing it happen again. Whatever it is, please try and talk to
me and I will do my best to help you or find you help. Life is short, Tania. Don't
make it shorter."
As they shared a hug, Shearon's phone began to vibrate nonstop. Picking up the
phone, Anna began to speak frantically. He could barely understand her but
before he could ask her to slow down, he’d made out "Gabriel" and "drowning”.
Shearon looked at Tania with a feeling of dread. "What's going on, Shearon? You
are scaring me." "Gabriel just drowned...." Looking towards the beach, she could
make out people gathering over a particular area on the beach. Tania couldn't
think of anything. "I know CPR, I can help if......" Without finishing up her
sentence, they both raced to the beach. Tania was glad a few people had been
on the beach.
After making way through them, Shearon advised the group surrounding the
victim to go back a little. Anna had already placed Gabriel in the position with
his head and neck still. Tania did not ask questions. Tania was afraid of what
the answers might be. Without hesitation, she began to perform CPR on Gabriel.
She pressed down hard, to a third of the depth of the chest, and allowed the
chest to come back up. After 30 chest compressions, Tania provided two rescue
breaths. Between tears and silently praying, Tania offered the third CPR and
rescue breaths and a light kiss just maybe the kiss could be magical. Eyes shut
and out of breath, Tania was about to get up on her knees when she heard a
cough. The cough grew persistent as Gabriel vomited out water and then his
breakfast. Right on time, the paramedics arrived with their truck and slowly
carried Gabriel into the truck.
"May l know who administered the CPR?" a middle-aged man who seemed to
be the leader paramedics group asked. "I did, Sir. Is something wrong?" "No
young lady, you just saved a young man's life and we are thankful for your skill."
Tania, wet and fatigued just nodded her head. Shearon went along with the
paramedics and the rest of the group helped Anna and Tania to the beach house.
Later that evening, Shearon called in to check on Anna and Tania. He was glad
they were much better. Anna had offered to take some dinner and clothes for
Shearon and Gabriel. "Anna would be there soon with some dinner for you and
Gabriel." Shearon was tempted to ask about why she didn't come along but
decided to let it slide. "Get some rest then, Tania."
The next day, Shearon returned to the beach house to wash down and get some
breakfast for himself and Gabriel. "How is he doing? "Tania silently asked. "He's
much better. They are still running tests on him. Results would be in tonight
and he will be allowed back to the beach house tomorrow." "That's good news,
then." "Everyone in the beach house has been to the clinic to see him......"
"Everyone doesn’t have the same awkward and bitter relationship l have with
him." Tania walked away from what may have become an argument. "Life is
short, Tania. I hope you remember that."
Tania entered her room at the beach house and sat down on the floor with tears
and regrets overwhelming her. Soon she had fallen into a deep nap. After an
hour or two, Tania got up and disposed the tonics from her bag. She reached
out to her lecturer who had informed her to meet her before the week ended.
Tania's lecturer had informed her he would be travelling to Australia for a sixmonth lecture contract with Flinders University. As a result, they would have
to work faster to meet her deadline.
The trip was to end the following week yet Tania figured she would have to
leave during the weekend. After packing up most of her things, she slumped
onto her bed. Eyes closed; her mind drifted to yesterday's tragedy. Gabriel had
almost lost his life. "Life is short, Tania. I hope you remember that." For peace,
her sanity and what's left of her reputation, she had to take a trip to the hospital.
After a fifteen-minute ride from the beach house, Tania reached the hospital. It
was the only hospital located near the beach, which made finding it easier. She
walked into the hospital and dialled Shearon 's contact. "Hi, I'm in the hospital."
"Sure, ask the nurse to direct you to Ward G7." "Alright then. "
" The room was filled with laughter and shouts as the group tried hard to
lessen the noise. She slowly turned the door knob not to draw attention to
herself. She managed to get in the ward only to have Anna scream her
name. "Tania, you made it." Putting up a poker face with a diplomatic smile,
she sent her a wave. Shearon standing by the wall began to slowly clap as he
took his cousin in. Soon the whole group joined in the clapping even Angela
who felt that was uncalled for joined in the clapping. Tania and Gabriel's eyes
found each other and everyone became a blur. Clearing his throat, Shearon led
the whole group out. He bet the duo needed some privacy. After a few
awkward moments had passed, Tania walked closed to Gabriel's bed from the
door. Keeping a bit of distance, she asked, "With the flowers and cookies I see
in here, I take it that you are doing better?" Looking deeply at her, he
answered, "Yes, I'm doing well and thanks for saving my life. "Of course, they
told him. "You are welcome." "We're glad we didn't lose you." Looking deeply
at her with a growing playful smile, he said, "Guess the myth of true love's kiss
has been tested." Tania was at loss for action–how was she supposed to react
with this. In her confusion, she resorted to self-sabotage. "Love is... too blind to
settle and choose me."
On cue, the others appeared by the door waving and carrying some more
snacks. "Whew", Gabriel hummphed as he realised, he was getting the whole
"sick patient " treatment. Turning her back, she also saw them. "I would have
to leave now, and do get better soon. "With that said, she walked to the door
and let the others in. Once they were all in, she stepped out as she informed
them about heading back to the beach house. She realised Anna and Angela
were missing in the group. "Anna and Angela went to the beach house to get
lunch ready." "I'll catch you once you get home then", Tania responded. "For
the look of things, I'm not sure 'he' wants you leave. And I'm not looking but I
can bet, he's unconsciously looking at you right now." Impulsively, Tania lifted
her head towards Gabriel's direction and met his eyes. "I... need to go. Got
some packing to do. I gotta leave the house tomorrow. "
Not ready to buy her story, he quietly responded, "Sure cousin. Go ahead and
do what you do best...running. It never gets old, does it?"
"With all honesty, it's the truth", Tania sighed.
As soon as Tania reached the beach house, she was hit by a sweet aroma from
the kitchen area. Anna was a master chef; she already knew that, but every
time Anna cooked, her regard for Anna's culinary skills increased. Tania
walked into the kitchen with an aim for a bite.
"Wow, another one", Tania said imitating DJ Khaled's voice. Anna could not
help but laugh. "Well, today's credit goes to Angela as well. She is impressive."
Tania did not see Angela anywhere in the kitchen. "Well, I see only you here."
Shaking her head, Anna asked, "How was the trip to the clinic?" "Not bad, I
guess. I mean he's doing better. That's all we want, right?" "Still fighting him
inside your head and heart, Tania?"
"Seriously, you know this is not about me regardless of my relationship with
him. Besides maybe he would see me as a bit of a hero now."
Sarcasm written all over her face, she smiled and said, "The ugly duckling
finally saved the prince." Without warning, Angela had arrived right before
she spoke the last words. "Should I even be surprised, Tania? Almost
predictable, how I knew you’d keep scores on this one. You just love to have
him in your hand...like some boy toy, huh?" Anna and Tania turned to see
Angela standing in front of the open door of the kitchen.
Tania, having had enough of Angela playing Mama Hen over Gabriel spoke
annoyingly, "With all due respect, you do know listening to other people's
conversations is pretty rude, Angela?"
"Ooh don't worry, I wasn't listening. You were just careless enough to speak
out whatever you had in mind. And of course, carelessness seems to be like
one of your many natures."
Anna could see the tension rising in the kitchen. "I think enough has been said.
Tania, how about you go wash down and come help with the dishing. Angela,
the timer just stopped. Mind checking on your cookies?" No, Tania had a lot to
say. She wasn't done. Enough was enough. Against her will to retaliate, she
decided to exit the kitchen till Angela stopped her.
"Of course, Tania always runs away when she can't handle the truth."
"Angela, what exactly is your problem? First you give me an ultimatum to
leave Gabriel, you assume in your head to know me and now my business is
your problem? I'm not a charity case and I haven't wronged you in anyway so
how about you politely mind your business and let me handle mine, hmm?
"You still don't get it, Tania. Maybe no one has ever had the guts to tell you in
your face but I'm not like everyone so I will spill the beans. You are very toxic,
Tania and slowly you are filling Gabriel with it. I don't know if you may have
daddy issues though I suspect you do. Whoever ruined your little heart, I
won't stand there and watch you ruin Gabriel's."
"What the heck did you call me? How dare you! I'm so sick and tired of the
likes of you. You want Gabriel, you can have him. This game is too lame even
for you." And you don't know me so shut the hell up."
"Tania was mad and feeling so vengeful. "Did I hit a chord?" Angela didn't
seem to back down." Once she turned to check on the cookies, Tania grabbed
the first thing she could get her hand on and threw it at Angela. The ceramic
bowl went straight at her back.
"Oh and I'm very skilled with knives too when intoxicated. Next time you
choose to mind my business for me, I promise you will find out. Blinded by
rage, Tania walked out of the kitchen, roughly packed up her stuff and ordered
for a ride.
In the kitchen, Angela had dropped on her knees as the ceramic bowl had
made little cuts on her back. Her pink shirt was stained with blood. Anna was
shocked at what had just happened. She had never seen this side of Tania.
Being alarmed by Angela's whimper, Anna got down beside her to help her up
into the bathroom. "Your friend is a psycho, and I don't know why all of you
can't see it", Angela painfully said. "I'm so sorry about what just happened."
As Angela washed off the blood from her back, Anna had cleaned the kitchen
of the broken bowl pieces and called the paramedics. She had tried to take out
the broken pieces out of her back, but she hadn't been able to take out those
that were embedded a little deeper.
Tania on the other hand had left before the paramedics arrived for Angela.
Anna packed some food along for Gabriel and the rest of the group. Having
examined, Angela's back, the senior paramedic had mentioned Angela was in
no danger though some of the broken pieces were in delicate parts of her back
and required careful removal.
"What happened?" the paramedics had asked. Before Anna could answer,
Angela spoke tearfully, "Her psycho friend tried to kill me."
Anna was tongue tied. How was she going to defend Tania when what Angela
had said wasn't far from the truth? And Tania had even threatened that the
next time, it would be a knife show. This was too much to take in. Soon they
arrived at the clinic and Angela was wheeled in. Anna called Shearon to meet
her at the reception. Shearon had been surprised Anna was back at the
hospital as the plan was for the group to come home for lunch.
Seeing Anna always excited him but from her demeanour, he could tell
something was wrong.
"Hey what's wrong? Shouldn't you be at the beach house? Swallowing
nervously, she recounted the whole event to Shearon. "I've never seen Tania
so dangerous before." "With everything she harbours within, that might just
be the tip of the iceberg", Shearon said a little quietly. "And of course, she left
you to deal with her mess." Shearon was fuming with anger. His cousin was
going to get herself into big trouble and gradually drag him in. A few minutes
later, he got a text from Gabriel.
"Angela is here in the clinic seeking medical attention. Says Tania tried to kill
her during an argument. What's going on, Shearon?"
"I think Angela has already informed Gabriel", Shearon sighed. "Let's go talk to
him."
Not long, they entered his ward. The rest of the group had taken the lunch
Anna brought to consume at the cafeteria. "Hi Gabriel, I brought you lunch",
Anna awkwardly voiced out.
"Thank you, Anna. Now what exactly is going on with Angela and Tania?"
26. BARS & UNDOINGS
“Now what exactly is going on with Angela and Tania?" Gabriel asked with
worry etched on his face. "They had some heated argument and... things got a
little out of hand. Angela got hurt because of that", Anna concluded. Of course,
Anna would try to protect Tania.
Gabriel sighed, "And then she threatens to stab her next time Angela talks about
her business. Trust me, I’m not taking sides here but seriously, how volatile can
Tania get?"
Shearon, who hadn't spoken till now felt the need to apologise. 'Gabriel, I know
sorry might not cut it but I still offer it all the same. Once this trip is over, I'll call
her to order myself.” Gabriel nodded in acceptance. “You don’t have to. None of
this is your fault anyways.” After a while, Shearon and Anna excused Gabriel as
the nurse came in to administer his drugs and removed his stomach bandage.
Once the nurse finished up her duty, Gabriel offered his thanks and proceeded
to call Tania. Two rings and she hadn’t pick up. He thought it best to deal with
the situation once the trip was over. Trying to attend to some mails on his
phone, he received a text from Tania.
Hi, I missed your calls. Stuck in a noisy place so can’t talk now. If it’s urgent, do
text me. Thanks.
After reading the message, he sent a response asking her to let him know when
it would be okay to call back. “Sure” had been her reply. Gabriel had taken a
nap after that. Once he awoke, he ate the lunch Anna had brought in and
proceeded to dress up. There was a knock on his ward door. “Just a minute. You
can come in now.” Angela walked in a little furious and her first words ― “Your
girlfriend is a psycho.” “Hello to you too, Angela”, he exhaled.
Angela went ahead to raise her shirt to show Gabriel her wounded back.
“Because of your psycho lover, I won’t be able to sleep on my back for two
weeks! And heaven knows how I enjoy sleeping on my back!”
“Honestly Angela, I’m truly sorry for this. But on the other hand, what exactly
did you say to her to have her ‘wanting to kill you’”, Gabriel had asked. Taking
a seat on the visitor’s chair, Angela said without any remorse. “I called her out
on her toxicity and she didn’t like it. And that’s the truth. Meanwhile none of
you have been bold enough to tell her that outrightly.”
“Angela, I don’t care if it’s the truth or not but you had no right to do that. Yes,
she has her issues but she’s never done anything to you so coming at her like
that, she will definitely feel attacked and see how ugly it turned when she tried
to defend herself.”
Angela couldn’t believe her ears. “You are being unbelievable right now. She
hurt me and you are defending her. Seriously? This girl really has a crazy hold
on you. Maybe she was right after all. Do you know how she feels about saving
you? It’s all some kind of game for her―To continuously have you between her
fingers. Don’t be deluded to even think she saved you out of the kindness of her
heart. You are not that gullible, Gabriel but somehow when it comes to this girl,
I’m unable to recognize you… How can you not see how much she is destroying
you? Of course, old lame theory of ‘love being blind’….” Gabriel had heard
enough. Enough to get angry and enough to lash out at Tania. But right now,
Tania wasn’t here and the one just pounding things into his head right now was
his best friend. “That’s enough, Angela! Yes, she hurt you and I’m sorry she did
but everything you are saying right now, I’m trying hard not to get angry so
enough of whatever you have to say.” Angela looked at Gabriel with disdain and
muttered, “Of course, like her, you can’t stomach the truth, not surprised at all.
“Angela, I said, enough!”, he said with a raised voice. “And if you can’t respect
my choice, perhaps you should step out of the room before I say something I
might regret later. Angela stood up and walked to the door. Before walking
away, she painfully uttered, “What do you see in her, Angel? She is manipulative,
selfish and everything that screams unhealthy behaviour…yet you can’t let go.
I hope it’s not too late when you do. I care about you and it hurts to see you
being ruined.” She walked
Gabriel almost drowning
Tania helping him resuscitate
Tania helping taking care of him after being checked by paramedics
Tania leaving the beach house
The trip finally over
Gabriel coming home limping a bit and his eyes finding Tania
Guess the third one finally happened, Tania. I guess my debt is cancelled now
her