taught by
Shaykh Waleed Basyouni
w w w . a lmaghrib.online
TABLE OF
CONTENTS
SEMINAR GOALS ............................................................................................8
THE PROPHET AS A HUSBAND ....................................................................9
MARRIAGE IN ISLAM ..................................................................................11
LOVE IN ISLAM ............................................................................................13
AL-‘AFAAF IN ISLAM ...................................................................................15
THE PURPOSE OF MARRIAGE ....................................................................17
CHOOSING THE RIGHT SPOUSE ................................................................19
AL-ISTIKHĀRAH ..........................................................................................23
LOOKING AT THE PROSPECTIVE BRIDE ...................................................28
MEETING YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE ............................................................30
RED FLAGS ....................................................................................................35
BREAKING THE ENGAGEMENT ..................................................................36
MARRIAGE ....................................................................................................38
THE INTEGRALS OF THE MARRIAGE CONTRACT ..................................40
THE FIRST INTEGRAL: OFFER AND ACCEPTANCE .................................41
THE SECOND INTEGRAL: TWO CONTRACTING PARTIES .......................42
THE MAḤĀRIM OF A MAN THROUGH BLOOD RELATION ....................44
THE MAḤĀRIM OF A WOMAN THROUGH BLOOD RELATION ..............45
MAḤĀRIM OF THE MANTHROUGH MARRIAGE ......................................46
MAḤĀRIM OF THE WOMANTHROUGH MARRIAGE ...............................47
MAḤĀRIM FOR A MAN THROUGH BREASTFEEDING .............................48
MAḤĀRIM FOR A WOMAN THROUGH BREASTFEEDING ......................49
BREASTFEEDING ..........................................................................................51
MARRYING A WOMAN FROM AHL’L-KITĀB ............................................53
MARRIAGE CONTRACT OF NON-MUSLIMS .............................................56
THE THIRD INTEGRAL: AL-WALI ..............................................................58
ESSENTIAL REQUIREMENTS FOR THE MARRIAGE CONTRACT ............60
CONDITIONS THAT MUST EXIST BEFORE
PERFORMING THE MARRIAGE ..................................................................66
PLACING PREREQUISITES IN THE MARRIAGE CONTRACT ...................70
PROHIBITED AND QUESTIONABLE MARRIAGE CONTRACTS ...............72
THE WEDDING .............................................................................................73
THE WEDDING NIGHT .................................................................................74
MARITAL LIFE ..............................................................................................75
30 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT MARITAL RELATIONSHIPS .76
SEX AND INTIMACY IN MARRIED LIFE ....................................................78
ABORTION ....................................................................................................84
NEWBORN.................................................................................................... 85
THE RIGHTS OF THE HUSBAND AND WIFE............................................. 86
IN-LAWS OR OUT-LAWS? ...........................................................................89
AL-ĪLĀ’ ...........................................................................................................90
AL-ẒIHĀR........................................................................................................91
AL-NUSHŪZ ...................................................................................................92
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE .................................................................................95
DIVORCE .......................................................................................................97
AFTER DIVORCE .........................................................................................103
AL-KHUL‘ .....................................................................................................104
AL-FASKH.................................................................................................... 106
AL-‘IDDAH ....................................................................................................107
FINANCIAL SUPPORT AND HOUSING FOR THE WOMAN IN IDDAH ..112
AL-MIT‘AH ...................................................................................................113
AL-RAJ‘AH ....................................................................................................114
CHILD CUSTODY ....................................................................................... 116
CL A S S E T I QU E T T E S
1. Write your own detailed notes in the class notebook or on separate sheets of paper.
Don’t just write notes; interact with what you’ve learned. Note down any GEMs to share
with other students.
2. Please do not speak out of turn while the instructor is speaking as this may interrupt
the instructor’s train of thought.
3. Please try to keep clear of the instructor’s immediate teaching space. There are
cables that may be easily tripped over and notes that may get misplaced.
4. The breaks are usually 10 minutes. Please give the instructor at least 5 minutes to
rest at break time. After that, you may come up to him and ask your questions.
5. Classes shall begin on time, insha’Allāh. Students are requested to try their best to be
in their seats when class begins so as not to disturb others by walking in late.
6. Only registered and paid students may remain in the classroom during class time.
Please remember to wear your AlMaghrib wristband during the seminar.
7. Please turn off any noise making devices during the seminar.
8. In accordance with AlMaghrib policies, private audio recordings are not allowed.
9. Children and babies should not be present in the classroom while the class is in session so as not to disturb the other students.
10. Please try not to eat snacks during the class; keep them for break time.
11. You are welcome to bring snacks to share at the refreshment table – just keep the
health of the students in mind!
12. If a sister is speaking, brothers are requested to look forward and not turn around.
13. At break times, please try to keep clear of the areas designated for the opposite
gender.
14. If a family member is coming to pick up a student, please ask them not to enter the
classroom until class has been dismissed.
EXAM
Who:
All students must take the exam for their personal benefit and to
receive three credits for the seminar. Undoubtedly, one who studies for
an exam benefits much more than one who does not. The exam is not
optional, it is FARḌ.
What:
Final Examination
When:
__________________________________
Where:
All exams will be taken online by logging on to www.almaghrib.org
Why:
Most of what was said in class is only in the students’ short-term
memory. This exam will give you the chance to actively review your
notes and make the information part of your conscious knowledge.
Insha’Allāh, you will not regret the time you spent to prepare for this
exam.
Can’t make the exam? Got a valid excuse?
Fill out a Deferral request from your ‘My AlMaghrib’ page.
How to Prepare for the Exam
-
Make sure you have all the notes. Compare your notes with other students in the
class.
Use highlighters and graphs to organize the important information from the
notes.
Choose a study partner. Meet with them and discuss back and forth what you
learned and what they learned.
Make time to study, however brief. From now till the exam date, casually revisit
what you wrote in class so that it becomes familiar.
Sleep and eat well before the exam.
Remember to place your trust in Allāh. You are learning this for His sake and
you are hoping for the reward with Him.
Realize that the marks on this exam do not matter; it is how much of this
knowledge we practice. The exam is only a means to increase the amount of
long-term information you retain and give you goals in your continued path of
seeking knowledge.
www.almaghrib.org
T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
P
raise be to Allāh, we seek His help
and His forgiveness. We seek refuge
with Allāh from the evil of our own
souls and from our bad deeds. Whomsoever
Allāh guides will never be led astray, and
whomsoever Allāh leaves astray, no one can
guide. I bear witness that there is no god but
Allāh, and I bear witness that Muḥammad is
His slave and Messenger.
O you who believe! Fear
Allāh as He should be feared,
and die not except in a state
of Islaam (as Muslims) with
complete submission to
Allāh. (3:102)
O mankind! Be dutiful to
your Lord, Who created
you from a single person,
and from him He created
his wife, and from them
both He created many men
and women, and fear Allāh
through Whom you demand
your mutual (rights), and
(do not cut the relations of)
the wombs (kinship) Surely,
Allāh is Ever an All-Watcher
over you. (4:1)
As for what follows: Verily the
most truthful speech is the
Word of Allāh and the best
guidance is the guidance of
Muḥammad (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi
wa sallam), and the worst of
affairs are the newly invented
matters (in the Religion) and
every newly invented matter
is an innovation and every
innovation is a going astray and
every going astray is in the Fire.
O you who believe! Keep
your duty to Allāh and fear
Him, and speak (always) the
truth. (33:70)
7
T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
S E MINA R G O A L S
To honor marital life.
To love fiqh and appreciate the work of the scholars.
To understand the fiqh of marriage and divorce.
To give the student a clear picture of what marriage is like.
To build a very respectful image of the husband and the wife.
To respect the different opinions between the scholars by
analyzing each scholar’s perspective.
To become better husbands wives and to see immediate results
in our lives.
S E M I NA R O B J ECTIVES
Learn how to improve communication skills.
Knowing the ruling in the new contemporary issues in marriage.
The ability to reconcile between evidences if they appear to
contradict.
Knowing the correct method of recognizing an acceptable
opinion from an inacceptable one.
Knowing the methodology of Muslims Jurists in establishing
rulings.
The ability to contain marital problems and how to deal with
them.
The ability to make the right choices in life.
Knowing the role of husband and wife in marital life.
Recognize the wisdom of Islamic law in marital life.
8
T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
THE
PROPHET AS
A HUSBAND
“There has certainly been
for you in the Messenger of
Allāh an excellent pattern
for anyone whose hope is
in Allāh and the Last Day
and [who] remembers
Allāh often.” (33:21)
Um m ahāt ’l-Mu ’minīn
1. Khadīja bint Khuwaylid
(raḍyAllāhu ‘anha)
2. Sawdah bint Zam’ah
(raḍyAllāhu ‘anha)
3. ‘Ā’ isha bint Abi Bakr
(raḍyAllāhu ‘anha)
4. Ḥafsah bint ‘Umar
(raḍyAllāhu ‘anha)
5. Zaynab bint Khuzaymah
(raḍyAllāhu ‘anha)
6. Umm Salamah bint Abi ‘Umayyah
7. Zaynab bint Jaḥsh
(raḍyAllāhu ‘anha)
(raḍyAllāhu ‘anha)
8. Juwairiyyah bint Al-Ḥārith
(raḍyAllāhu ‘anha)
9. Umm Ḥabībah bint Abi Sufyān
10. Ṣafiyyah bint Huyyay
(raḍyAllāhu ‘anha)
(raḍyAllāhu ‘anha)
11. Maymūnah bint Al-Ḥārith
(raḍyAllāhu ‘anha)
The reasons for plural
marriages in the life of
the Prophet (ṣallallāhu
‘alayhi wa sallam)
9
T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu When ‘Amr b. al-‘Aṣ (raḍyAllāhu ‘anhu) asked the Prophet (ṣallallāhu
‘alayhi wa sallam) ‘alayhi wa sallam) who the most beloved person was for him. He
expressed his love
answered, “‘Ā’isha.” He then said, “From men?” He replied, “Her
to his wives
father.” (al-Bukhāri and Muslim)
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘Ā’isha (raḍyAllāhu ‘anha) said, “When the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi
‘alayhi wa sallam) spent wa sallam) wanted to go out on a journey, he would cast lots
time with his wives between his wives and the one whose name was drawn, he would
take her with him.” (al-Bukhāri and Muslim)
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu Ibn ‘Abbās reported that when Safiyyah (raḍyAllāhu ‘anha) wanted to
‘alayhi wa sallam) was gentle ride her camel, the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) helped her
and passionate with his wives
onto the camel by offering his thigh for her to step on.
(al-Haythami, Majma‘ az-Zawā’id)
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘Ā’isha (raḍyAllāhu ‘anha) said that the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa
‘alayhi wa sallam) was sallam) said to her, “I know when you are pleased with me or angry
patient with his wives
with me.” She said, “When do you know that?” He said, “When
you are pleased with me, you say, ‘No, by the Lord of Muḥammad,’
but when you are angry with me, then you say, ‘No, by the Lord of
Abraham.’” “Thereupon I said, “Yes (you are right), but by Allāh, O
Allāh’s Messenger, I leave nothing but your name.”
(al-Bukhāri and Muslim)
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘Ā’ isha (raḍyAllāhu ‘anha) said, “I never felt jealous from any of the
‘alayhi wa sallam) was Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam)’s wives as much as I felt jealous
faithful to his wives
of Khadīja, and there is no way that I could reach her level, for the
Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) used to talk about her often,
and when he sacrificed a sheep, he would always send part of it to
Khadīja’s friends.” (al-Tirmidhi)
10
T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
MARRIAGE
IN ISLAM
“O mankind, fear your Lord,
who created you from one
soul and created from it its
mate and dispensed from
both of them many men
and women. And fear Allāh
through Whom you ask one
another and the wombs.
Indeed Allāh is ever, over
you, an Observer.” (4:1)
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi
wa sallam) said, “The best of
you is the best of you to his
family (wife) and I am the best
of you to my family.”
(al-Tirmidhi)
“And live with them in
kindness, for if you dislike
them –perhaps you dislike
a thing and Allāh makes
therein much good.” (4:19)
“And We have already sent
messengers before you and
assigned to them wives
and descendants. And it
was not for a messenger
to come with a sign except
by permission of Allāh. For
every term is a decree.”
(13:38)
11
T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
AZWĀJINA
ARABIC WORD
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi
wa sallam) said, “By Allāh I
am the most fearful of Allāh
of all of you and I have the
most taqwa. However I fast
and I break my fast; I pray
at night and at times I sleep;
and I marry women. Whoever
turns away from my Sunnah is
not from me.” (al-Bukhāri and
Muslim)
“And those who say,
‘Our Lord, grant us from
among our wives and
offspring comfort to our
eyes and make us a leader
[i.e., example] for the
righteous.” (25:74)
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu
‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Four
sources of happiness are: a
pious wife, a spacious house,
a pious neighbor and a means
of transportation that is fast
and pleasing. And four are the
sources of unhappiness: an evil
wife, an evil neighbor, an evil
means of transportation and
cramped housing.” (Ḥākim)
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi
wa sallam) said, “Whoever
marries has completed half of
his faith, so let him have fear of
Allāh in the remaining half of
his religion.” (Bayḥaqi)
12
T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
LOVE IN
ISLAAM
“It is He who created you
from one soul and created
from it its mate that he
might dwell in security with
her. And when he [i.e., man]
covers her, she carries a light
burden [i.e., a pregnancy]
and continues therein. And
when it becomes heavy, they
both invoke Allāh, their Lord,
‘If You should give us a good
[child], we will surely be
among the grateful.’ ” (7:189)
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi
wa sallam) speaking about his
wife Khadīja said, “Verily, I
was filled with love for her.”
“And of His signs is that
He created for you from
yourselves mates that
you may find tranquility
in them; and He placed
between you affection and
mercy. Indeed in that are
signs for a people who give
thought.” (30:21)
13
T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
The mystery of being “In love”
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi
wa sallam) was telling his uncle
‘Abbās the story of Mughīth
and Barīrah and said: “O
‘Abbās! Isn’t it amazing how
much Mughīth loves Barīrah
and how much Barīrah
hates Mughīth?”
The gradual levels of love
“When we get dumped for a
period of time, we love the
person who rejected us even
more.”
Dr. Helen Fisher, Why We Love
Sex, infatuation, obsession,
passion, pity, sympathy and love:
Are they synonymous?
14
T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
AL-‘AFĀF
IN ISLAM
Definition:
\\Linguistic: From ‘affa, which means
“protection” or “purity”
Technical:
\\Abstaining from any indecent words or
actions
“But let them who find not
[the means for] marriage
abstain [from sexual
relations] until Allāh
enriches them from His
Bounty.” (24:33)
Abu Hurayrah narrated that
the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi
wa sallam) said: “There are
seven whom Allāh will shade
in His Shade on the Day when
there is no shade except His
Shade: a just ruler; a youth
who grew up in the worship
of Allāh, the Mighty and
Majestic; a man whose heart
is attached to the mosques;
two men who love each other
for Allāh’s sake, meeting for
that and parting upon that; a
man who is called by a woman
of beauty and position [for
illegal intercourse], but he
says: ‘I fear Allāh’, a man who
gives in charity and hides it,
such that his left hand does
not know what his right hand
gives in charity; and a man who
remembered Allāh in private
and so his eyes shed tears.”
(al-Bukhāri & Muslim)
And she, in whose house
he was, sought to seduce
him. She closed the doors
and said, “Come, you.” He
said, “[I seek] the refuge
of Allāh. Indeed, he is my
master, who has made
good my residence. Indeed,
wrongdoers will not
succeed.” (12:23)
15
T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
And they who are
observant of zakah. And
they who guard their
private parts. Except from
their wives or those their
right hands possess, for
indeed, they will not be
blamed – But whoever
seeks beyond that, then
those are the transgressors.
(23:4-7)
What are the causes
of indecency?
How does Islam
establish ‘afāf?
16
T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
THE PURPOSE
AN D G O A L S O F
MARRIAGE
1. P r oc r eation
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi
wa sallam) said, “Marry,
for I shall be proud of your
large numbers on the Day of
Judgment.” (Ibn Mājah)
2.Physic al pleasu r e
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu
‘alayhi wa sallam) said,
“ ... and fulfilling your
sexual pleasure with your
wife is also a charity.” His
companions asked, “O
Messenger of Allāh, a person
fulfills his sexual desire and
he is rewarded?” He replied,
“Were he to fulfill it in an
unlawful way would he not
be punished? Similarly, when
he fulfills it in the right
way he will have a reward.”
(Muslim)
“Beautified for people is
the love of that which they
desire –of women and sons,
heaped up sums of gold
and silver, fine branded
horses, and cattle and
tilled land. That is the
enjoyment of worldly life,
but Allāh has with Him the
best return [i.e., Paradise].”
(3:14)
17
T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
3. For min g th e Cor n er ston e of Muslim Society
4. Compan ion sh ip
B ENEFI T S OF MARRI AGE FOR:
M ENWOMEN
18
T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
CHOOSING
THE RIGHT
SPOUSE
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi
wa sallam) said, “A woman is
married for her religiosity, her
wealth or her beauty. So go for
the one who is religious, may
your hands be filled with dust.”
(Muslim)
R e l igion
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi
wa sallam) said, “If someone
whose religion and character
you are pleased with comes to
you to marry your daughter,
then marry her off to him. If
you don’t do so, there will be
tribulation on the earth and a
great deal of evil.”
(al-Tirmidhi)
19
T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
Behavior and Character
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi
wa sallam) said, “Souls are
like soldiers. When a soul
meets its mate, it is naturally
attracted to it and other
times it meets that which
repels it.” (Muslim)
“Evil women are for
evil men and evil men
are for evil women. And
good women are for good
men, and good men are
for good women. Those
[good people] are declared
innocent of what they [i.e.,
slanderers] say. For them
is forgiveness and noble
provision.” (24:26)
Childbearing
Virginity
Dont start
by asking about
religion
Beauty
Wealth
Family lineage
Love
20
T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
THE HUNT
Arranged
marriages
How do you get to
know the person?
How
Howshould
shouldyou
youtalk
talktotoyour
your
parentsabout
abouthim/her?
marriage?
parents
WHAT IS
SEXY?
“Women have a sexual checklist,
like men do. Women are attracted to a guy’s
style, to his confidence and the way he carries himself.
It’s intangibles: confidence, success, talent – there’s just
something about him. It’s attitude: They love confident guys.
They’d rather have a less-attractive guy who’s confident and
secure than an Adonis who’s nervous. It’s the whole
Clark Kent/Superman thing.”
[Adam on the Difference
Between What Men and
Women Find Sexy, from the
Dr. Drew and Adam Book,
page 29]
21
T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
Al-Istikhārah
Lingustically “istikhārah” comes from the
verb istakhārah which means “seeking /
requesting guidance in what is good.”
When should the du‘ā’ of
istikhārah be said?
Can istikhārah prayer be
repeated more than 1x?
Jābir b. ‘Abdullāh has said that
the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi
wa sallam) taught us how to
make istikhārah in all (our)
affairs, just as he taught us
various sūrahs of the Qur’ān.
He told us, “If anyone of you
considers doing something
he should offer a two-rak‘ah
prayer other than the
obligatory prayers, and then
say (after the prayer),
(O Allāh ! I ask guidance from Your
knowledge, and Power from Your Might
and I ask for Your great blessings. You are
capable and I am not. You know and I do
not and You know the unseen. O Allāh! If
You know that this thing is good for my dīn
and my subsistence and for my Hereafter
- (or say, If it is better for my present and
later needs) - then ordain it for me and
make it easy for me to obtain, and then
bless me in it. If You know that this thing
is harmful to me in my dīn and subsistence
and in the Hereafter--(or say, If it is worse
for my present and later needs)--then keep
it away from me, and keep me away from it.
And ordain for me whatever is good for me,
and make me satisfied with it).”’
The Prophet, may peace be upon him,
added that then the person should mention
his need.”
23
Can someone pray istikhārah
on behalf of someone else?
What should a woman do
if she is menstruating?
Can the du‘ā’ be read from
paper? Can it be read in
other than Arabic?
T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
C O NS U L T A T I O N
(AL-ISTISHĀRAH)
Al-istikhārah prayer should not stop you from
consultations.
The one who prays istikhārah
Who should you consult?
will never regret, and the one
who consults will never be
disappointed.
24
ACTIVITY |
What are the qualities
you are looking for in
your spouse?
T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
THE
EN G AG E M E NT
Linguistic definition:
\\comes from the word “khatb” which means
“the matter;” it refers to the engagement
Technical definition:
\\when a person proposes to a woman or to
her guardian (Wali) for marriage
THE
PROPOSAL
A proposal in Sharī‘ah doesn’t have a specific
script or phrase that is followed
Is reciting Sūrat’l-Fātiḥah part of the Sunnah of
engagement?
The manner of proposing in Sharī‘ah can be
either overt or implied
26
T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
Fāṭimah bint Qais reported that Abu
‘Amr b. Ḥafṣ divorced her absolutely
when he was away from home, and
he sent his agent to her with some
barley. She was displeased with
him and when he said, “I swear by
Allāh that you have no claim on us.”
She went to the Prophet (ṣallallāhu
‘alayhi wa sallam) and mentioned
that to him. He said, “There is no
maintenance due to you from him,”
and he commanded her to spend the
‘iddah in the house of Umm Sharik,
but then said, “That is a woman
whom my companions visit. So better
spend this period in the house of Ibn
Umm Maktum, for he is a blind man
and you can put off your garments.
And when the ‘iddah is over, inform
me.” She said, “When my period of
‘iddah was over, I mentioned to him
that Mu‘āwiyah b. Abu Sufyān and
Jahm had sent proposal of marriage
to me, whereupon the Prophet
(ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “As
for Abu Jahm, he does not put down
his staff from his shoulder, and as
for Mu‘āwiyah, he is a poor man
having no property, marry Usama b.
Zayd.” I objected to him, but he again
said, “Marry Usama” so I married
him. Allāh blessed there in and I was
envied (by others).” (Muslim)
The bride can accept more than one proposal
and the man can propose to more than one
woman at a time.
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa
sallam) said, “A Muslim cannot
propose over the proposal of his
brother, until either he marries the
woman or gives her up.” (al-Bukhāri)
Is it forbidden to propose to a woman who is
already considering another man’s proposal?
Offering one’s daughter
to a righteous person
for marriage.
Is it permissible to
propose to a woman who
is considering a proposal
of a corrupt person
(fāsiq)?
Is it allowed for you to
propose to a woman who
is considering a proposal
of a non-Muslim?
Differences between engagement and
marriage
27
What is the ruling of
the one who marries
someone’s fiance?
T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
LOOK ING A T T H E
P R OS P E CT IV E
BR ID E
“Not lawful to you [O
Muḥammad], are [any
additional] women after
[this], nor [is it] for you
to exchange them for
[other] wives, even if their
beauty were to please you,
except what your right
hand possesses. And ever
is Allāh, over all things, an
Observer.” (33:52)
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi
wa sallam) said, “If one of you
proposes to a woman and he
can see what would encourage
him to marry her then he
should do so.” (Abu Dāwūd)
Conditions That Must Be
Met in Order to Look:
The look cannot be done
out of lust or desire.
Is it recommended to look at the prospective
bride or groom?
That he believes there is a
reasonably high probability
that they may marry
each other.
That he/she should be upon
his/her natural appearance.
That it cannot take place in a
private or secluded place.
Can a person see the prospective bride or
groom more than once?
28
T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
How much of a woman is one allowed to see in
order to make his decision?
Is her permission required?
Is it permissible to exchange photos via the
Internet or through webcam?
Love at first
sight is not
always right
First impressions
29
T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
ME E T ING YOU R
FU T U R E
S P OU S E
Must be in the presence of her maḥram. The Prophet
(ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “A man and woman
should not be alone unless it is in the presence of her
maḥram.” (al-Bukhāri and Muslim)
The meeting can be repeated if necessary.
Meeting in a public place without the maḥram is not
permissible unless it is by necessity or need.
It is not permissible to touch such a woman.
The ruling regarding private conversations via phone,
Internet, texting, etc.
Keys to magnetic likeability
Body language to avoid
Gifts during the engagement period are permissible
What kind of gift is appropriate to give
at this time and what is not?
30
T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
take out
31
T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
THE ENGAGEMENT RING
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymīn was asked “The engagement ring is a kind of ring, and there is nothing wrong
about the ruling on wearing with rings in principle, unless that is accompanied by some belief,
engagement rings. He said: as some people do when the man writes his name on the ring
that he gives to his fiancée, and she writes her name on the ring
that she gives to him, believing that this will create strong bonds
between the couple. In this case, this ring is ḥarām, because it is an
attachment to something for which there is no basis in Islām and
which makes no sense. Similarly, with regard to the engagement
ring, it is not permissible to the man to put it on his fiancée’s hand
because she is not his wife yet and she is still a stranger (nonmaḥram) to him because she is not his wife until after the marriage
contract has been done.”
Shaykh `Atiyyah Saqr, former “The engagement ring or wedding ring has a history thousands of
head of Al-Azhar Fatwa years old. Some people claim that the Pharaohs were the first to
Committee issued this fatwa invent it long before the Greeks had any notion of it. Others say
regard this issue:
that it stems from an old custom still upheld by people. By this,
they are referring to tying the bride and the bridegroom together
with chains and making him ride a horse while dragging his bride
behind him to the marital home, which might be a distance of
two houses. Later, it became popular to wear a ring instead of
being tied with chains. Wearing an engagement ring on the left
finger is related to an old custom of the Greeks who believed that
the circulation of blood by the aorta is done through this area. It
32
T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
The engagement party
–is there such a thing
in Islam?
became apparent later that the British were also fond of wearing
engagement rings; in fact, they regarded the habit as purely
Christian. Muslims adopted the idea of wearing the engagement
ring without any obvious reason, and some consider removing it as
a bad omen. This has no basis in Islam. Wearing an engagement or
wedding ring is not considered unlawful in the Islamic perspective,
as there is no religious text that determines this. It is also not
considered as a form of imitating unbelievers. We know in any
case that such imitation is forbidden, especially on something
contravening the teachings of Islam. If the ring is silver, there is
nothing wrong in both men and women wearing it. But if the ring
is made of gold, women can wear it, while men cannot. Al-Tirmidhi
relates through the authentic chain of narration that the Prophet
(ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: ‘Wearing gold is forbidden for male
Muslims, but it is allowed for female Muslims.’ According to the
ḥadith narrated by Muslim, the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam)
forbade men from wearing gold rings. It is also narrated that when
the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) saw a man wearing a gold
ring, he immediately removed it from the man’s hand and threw it
away. He then said: ‘Wearing it (a gold ring) is like wrapping one’s
hand with fire brand.’ More information on this subject can be
found in my book entitled Mawsu‘at Al-Usrah Tahta Ri‘ayat Al-Islam,
volume 1.”
33
T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
10 topics you should
discuss before you
get married:
1. Religion
2. Children
3. Finances/Money Matters
4. Employment
5. Education
Be honest,
truthful and
moderate
6. The Future
34
T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
7. The Past
8. Habits and Hobbies
9. Health
10. Family
RED FLAGS
“He/she will change.”
35
T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
Breaking
the Engagement
It is not recommended to break the engagement
after the person has shown acceptance because it is
considered breaking a promise.
The Consequences of Breaking the Engagement
Material Consequences
Emotional Consequences
What is the ruling regarding
the engagement gift one
gives to his fiancée?
Be careful from accepting or making “the rebound
proposal”. Also, one has to get rid of any photos, email,
cards etc. that they may have stored of the ex-fiancée. Be
sure to come to terms with the dissolution and to have
emotional closure.
Assumptions
“She’s the only one.”
“I’ll never find another one like him.”
36
ACTIVITY
What do you have to offer?
What makes you trustworthy? Why should any
parent trust you with their daughter/son?
What makes you unique? How are you different than
others?
T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
MARRIAGE
Linguistic definition:
\\The word nikāḥ implies both the marriage
contract and the sexual intercourse with one’s
wife.
Technical definition:
\\A contract of mutual agreement between
man and woman that allows them to enjoy
each other and build a family.
The Ruling Concerning Marriage
In the farewell khuṭbah, the
Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi
wa sallam) said, “Fear Allāh
concerning women! Verily
you have taken them on
the security of Allāh, and
intercourse with them has been
made lawful unto you by words
of Allāh.” (Muslim)
“And marry the unmarried
among you and the
righteous among your
male slaves and female
slaves. If they should be
poor, Allāh will enrich
them from His Bounty, and
Allāh is all-Encompassing
and Knowing.” (24:32)
38
T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi
wa sallam) said, “O young men,
whoever of you has the ability
must wed.” (al-Bukhāri and
Muslim)
“But let them who find not
[the means for] marriage
abstain [from sexual
relations] until Allāh enriches
them from His Bounty. And
those who seek a contract
[for eventual emancipation]
from among whom your right
hand possesses –then make
a contract with them if you
know there is within them
goodness and give them from
the wealth of Allāh which
He has given you. And do
not compel your slave girls
to prostitution if they desire
chastity, to seek [thereby]
the temporary interests of
worldly life. And if someone
should compel them, then
indeed, Allāh is [to them],
after their compulsion,
Forgiving and Merciful.”
(24:33)
The Prohibition of Castration:
Sa‘d b. Abi Waqqās reported
that the Prophet (ṣallallāhu
‘alayhi wa sallam) forbade
‘Uthmān ibn Madh’oon from
At-Tabattul (celibacy), and
had he allowed him, we would
have had ourselves castrated.
(al-Bukhāri and Muslim)
Is it permissible to use medicines to reduce or
eliminate sexual desires?
39
T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
THE INTEGRALS
OF THE MARRIAGE
CONTRACT
The Ḥanafi’s Opinion OFFER AND ACCEPTANCE
The Mālaki’s Opinion OFFER AND ACCEPTANCE, AL-WALI, BRIDE
AND GROOM, DOWRY
The Shāfi‘is Opinion OFFER AND ACCEPTANCE, AL-WALI, BRIDE
AND GROOM, TWO WITNESSES
The Ḥanbali’s Opinion OFFER AND ACCEPTANCE, BRIDE AND GROOM,
AL-WALI, WITNESSES AND MUTUAL CONSENT
ARE ESSENTIAL REQUIREMENT
40
T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
OFFER AND
ACCEPTANCE
(THE SPOKEN FORM)
Does it have to be in Arabic?
Can it be done in sign language or in writing?
Conditions of the spoken form
of the contract
Can one party do it?
- The offer and acceptance
must be done in one sitting
- The acceptance must
correspond to what is being
offered
Does the marriage contract need to be documented in
court?
- The contract must be
a “done deal” at that moment.
Does a marriage contract need to be done by a Shaykh?
What information must the marriage contract include?
Charging money for documentation
41
T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
TWO CONTRACTING
PARTIES
(THE BRIDE & THE GROOM)
Who are the ones you are not allowed to marry?
“And do not marry
those [women] whom
your fathers married,
except what has already
occurred. Indeed it
was an immorality
and hateful [to Allāh]
and was evil as a way.”
(4:22)
“Prohibited to you [for
marriage] are your
mothers, your daughters,
your sisters, your father’s
sisters, your mother’s
sisters, your brother’s
daughters, your sister’s
daughters, your [milk]
mothers who nursed
you, your sisters through
nursing, your wives’
mothers, and your
stepdaughters under your
guardianship [born] of
your wives unto whom
you have gone in. But if
you have not gone in unto
them, there is no sin upon
you. And [also prohibited]
are the wives of your sons
who are from your [own]
loins, and that you take
[in marriage] two sisters
simultaneously, except
for what has already
occurred. Indeed Allāh
is ever Forgiving and
Merciful.” (4:23)
42
T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
“And [also prohibited
to you are all]
married women
except those your
right hand posses.
[This is] the decree
of Allāh upon you.
And lawful to you are
[all others] beyond
these, [provided]
that you seek them
[in marriage] with
[gifts from] your
property, desiring
chastity, not unlawful
sexual intercourse.
So for whatever you
enjoy [of marriage]
from them, give
them their due
compensation as an
obligation. And there
is no blame on you for
what you mutually
agree to beyond the
obligation. Indeed,
Allāh is ever Knowing
and Wise.” (4:24)
A. Those that you are forever forbidden to marry
Through blood relation
Through marriage relation
Through breastfeeding relation
43
T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
Maternal
Grandfather
Maternal
Grandmother
Maternal
Aunt
Paternal
Grandmother
Paternal
Grandfather
Mother
Paternal
Aunt
Father
The
Man
Brother
Sister
Son
Daughter
Niece
Niece
Granddaughter
Granddaughter
THE MAḤĀRIM
OF A MAN THROUGH
BLOOD RELATION
44
T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
Maternal
Grandfather
Maternal
Grandmother
Maternal
Uncle
Paternal
Grandmother
Paternal
Grandfather
Mother
Paternal
Uncle
Father
The
Woman
Brother
Sister
Daughter
Son
Nephew
Nephew
Grandson
Grandson
THE MAḤĀRIM OF
A WOMAN THROUGH
BLOOD RELATION
45
T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
Grandmotherin-Law
Paternal
Grandfather
Mother-in-Law
Father
Paternal
Grandfather’s Wife
[Step Grandmother]
Father’s
Wife
MAḤĀRIM OF
THE MAN
THROUGH
MARRIAGE
Wife
Step
Daughter
The Man
Step Son
Step Son’s
Step
Wife
Daughters’s
Husband
46
Son
Son’s Wife
Grandson
Grandson’s
Wife
T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
Grandfather-inLaw
Paternal
Grandmother
Father-in-Law
Mother
Grandmother’s
Husband
Mother’s
Husband
MAḤĀRIM OF
THE WOMAN
THROUGH
MARRIAGE
Husband
Step
Son
Step
Grandson
The Woman
Daughter
Step
Daughter
Granddaughter
Step
Grandson
47
Daughter’s
Husband
Granddaughter’s
Husband
T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
Nursing
Mother’s
Mother
(Grandmother)
Grandmother
Nursing Mother’s
Sister (Aunt)
Nursing
Mother’s
Husband’s
Father
(Grandfather)
Nursing
Mother’s
Husband’s
Mother
(Grandmother)
Nursing
Mother’s
Father
(Grandfather)
Nursing
Mother’s Husband
(Father)
Nursing Mother
(Mother)
Nursing Mother’s
Husband’s Father’s
Sister (Aunt)
The
Man
Nursing
Mother’s
Daughter
(Sister)
Mother’s
Daughter’s
Daughter
(Niece via
Breastfeeding)
Nursing
Mother’s Son
(Brother)
Son via
Breastfeeding
Daughter via
Breastfeeding
Daughter’s
Daughter
(Granddaughter
via
Breastfeeding)
Granddaughter
MAḤĀRIM FOR A
MAN THROUGH
BREASTFEEDING
48
Nursing
Mother’s Son’s
Daughter
(Niece)
T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
Uncle via
Breastfeeding
Grandfather
via
Breastfeeding
Grandmother
via
Breastfeeding
Grandfather
via
Breastfeeding
Grandmother
via
Breastfeeding
Uncle via
Breastfeeding
Father via
Breastfeeding
Nursing Mother
The
Woman
Brother via
Breastfeeding
Sister via
Breastfeeding
Son via
Breastfeeding
Daughter via
Breastfeeding
Nephew via
Breastfeeding
Grandson via
Breastfeeding
Grandson via
Breastfeeding
MAḤĀRIM FOR A
WOMAN THROUGH
BREASTFEEDING
49
Nephew via
Breastfeeding
T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
50
T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
BREASTFEEDING
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi Conditions of the breastfeeding for it to be
wa sallam) said, “Breastfeeding effective:
makes forbidden what is
forbidden through blood
1. The child was breastfed the minimum
relations.” (Muslim)
amount of milk.
Ibn Ḥazm disagrees with this
condition and holds that age is
not a factor.
2. The breastfeeding must have taken place
during the first two years.
“Mothers may nurse
[i.e., breastfeed] their
children two complete
years for whoever wishes
to complete the nursing
[period].” (2:233)
What factors influence the acceptability of
breastfeeding as a means of bringing about a
mahram relationship?
51
T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
Exercises:
Fatimah breastfed Ahmad, and she has two daughters
of her own, Laila and Salma. Ahmad’s son proposed to
Laila, and Ahmad’s brother proposed to Salma. What is
the ruling for each proposal?
Corrina breastfed Toby three times, then her husband
divorced her. She then remarried and breastfed Toby
two additional times. Would it be lawful for Toby to
marry the sisters of these two men?
B. Those that for temporary reasons you are
forbidden to marry
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi
wa sallam) prohibited joining
(in marriage at the same time)
a woman and her paternal aunt
or a woman and her maternal
aunt.” [al-Bukhāri & Muslim]
While being married to a woman, one cannot marry her
sister or any of her aunts.
The one who divorced his wife three times, until she
remarries
The one who already has four wives
Marrying a woman who is married to somebody else or
is in her waiting period.
The woman for whom a man has made al-li‘ān until he
confesses that he had lied.
Is there a minimum age
requirement for a legal
marriage contract?
A woman who is nether Muslim, Jewish or Christian.
Marrying at an early age
52
T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
Marrying a
woman from
Ahl’l-Kitāb
“And do not marry
polytheistic women until
they believe. And a believing
slave woman is better than a
polytheist, even though she
might please you. And do
not marry polytheistic men
[to your women] until they
believe. And a believing slave
is better than a polytheist,
even though he might please
you. Those into [you] to the
Fire, but Allāh invites to
Paradise and to forgiveness,
by His permission. And He
makes clear His verses [i.e.,
ordinances] to the people
that perhaps they may
remember.” (2:221)
“This day [all] good foods
have been made lawful,
and the food of those who
were given the Scripture
is lawful for you and your
food is lawful for them.
And [lawful in marriage]
are chaste women from
among the believers and
chaste women from among
those who were given the
Scripture before you, when
you have given them their
due compensation, desiring
chastity, not unlawful sexual
intercourse or taking [secret]
lovers. And whoever denies
the faith –his work has
become worthless, and he, in
the Hereafter, will be among
the losers.” (5:5)
53
T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
Everyone who follows the religion of the People
of the Book takes on the same ruling as them with
respect to marriage and slaughtering.
Conditions for marrying such
It is not recommended to marry from the
People of the Book.
women:
- She must be practicing her religion.
- She must be ‘afīfah (chaste).
- She must not be from Ahl Al-harb.
Marrying from other than Jewish or Christian women
Marriage to a Murtaddah (apostate)
Marrying a non-Muslim man
“And do not marry
polytheistic women until
they believe. And a believing
slave woman is better than
a polytheist, even though
she might please you. And
do not marry polytheistic
men [to your women]
until they believe. And a
believing slave is better
than a polytheist, even
though he might please
you. Those into [you] to the
Fire, but Allāh invites to
Paradise and to forgiveness,
by His permission. And He
makes clear His verses [i.e.,
ordinances] to the people
that perhaps they may
remember.” (2:221)
54
T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
“O you who have believed,
when the believing women
come to you as emigrants,
examine [i.e., test] them.
Allāh is most knowing as to
their faith. And if you know
them to be believers, then
do not return them to the
disbelievers; they are not
lawful [wives] for them, nor
are they lawful [husbands]
for them. But give them
[i.e., the disbelievers] what
they have spent. And there
is no blame upon you if
you marry them when you
have given them their due
compensation [i.e., mahr].
And hold not to marriage
bonds with disbelieving
women, but ask them for
what you have spent and let
them [i.e., the disbelievers]
ask for what they have
spent. That is the judgment
of Allāh; He judges between
you. And Allāh is Knowing
and Wise.” (60:10)
55
T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
The marriage
contracts of the
non-Muslims
The marriage contract between them is valid.
If they become Muslims, they do not need to
renew their contract.
If one of them becomes Muslim…???
If the man becomes Muslim and he has more
than four wives…????
56
T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
The marriage contracts of the non-Muslims
The marriage contract between them is valid.
If they become Muslims, they do not need to
renew their contract.
If one of them becomes Muslim…???
If the man becomes Muslim and he has more
than four wives…????
Does illegal sexual intercourse affect marriage?
Is it allowed to marry a fornicator?
“The fornicator does not
marry except a [female]
fornicator or polytheist, and
none married her except a
fornicator or polytheist, and
that [i.e., marriage to such
persons] has been made
unlawful to the believers.”
(24:3)
A man came to the Messenger
of Allāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa
sallam) and said, “I have a
wife who is most beloved to
me, but does not mind anyone
to touch her.” He (ṣallallāhu
‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Divorce
her.” The man replied, “But I
cannot live without her.” He
(ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam)
said “Then enjoy her with that
(deficiency).”
(Abu Dāwūd, al-Tirmidhi)
57
T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
AL-WALI
(THE BRIDE’S GUARDIAN)
The Conditions of the Wali
Al-wali comes from al-wilāyah, which means
“love and support.”
- Al-Islam
- Physical Maturity (al-bulūgh)
- Sanity
Who is the wali?
- Mental Maturity (al-rush)
- Not being in a state of iḥrām
The wisdom behind having the wali
The dangers of marrying without your
parents’ permission or consent
The ruling regarding having wali in the
marriage contract
“And when you divorce
women and they have
fulfilled their term,
do not prevent them
from remarrying their
[former] husbands if they
[i.e., all parties] agree
among themselves on an
acceptable basis... and
Allāh knows and you know
not.” (2:232)
58
T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
“And do not marry
polytheistic women until
they believe.” (2:221)
“He said, ‘Indeed I wish to
wed you one of these, my two
daughters, on [the condition]
that you serve me for eight
years; but if you complete
ten, it will be [as a favor] from
you. And I do not wish to put
you in difficulty. You will find
me, if Allāh wills, from among
the righteous.’”(28:27)
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi
wa sallam) said, “If any woman
marries herself without the
permission of her wali, then
her marriage is void, then
her marriage is void, then her
marriage is void.”
‘Ali b. Abi Ṭālib said, “If any
woman marries herself without
the permission of her wali, then
her marriage is invalid. There
is no marriage without wali's
permission.” (Aḥmad and
Bayḥaqi)
“And if he divorced her [for
the third time], then she is
not lawful to him afterwards
until [after] she marries a
husband other than him.”
(2:230)
59
T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
“And when you divorce
women and they have
fulfilled their term,
do not prevent them
from remarrying their
[former] husbands if they
[i.e., all parties] agree
among themselves on an
acceptable basis.” (2:232)
What should be done in the absence of a wali?
A wali cannot marry off the bride without her consent.
Abusing the right of guardianship
The guardian of a non-Muslim bride
Who is the wali for a new-Muslim?
Conditions of the
commissioner
- Male
Commissioning in marriage contracts
The ruling of commissioning in such contracts
- Sane
- Physical Maturity
- Freedom
The authority of the commissioner
Can the commissioner issue the marriage for himself?
60
T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
THE WITNESS
AND THE PUBLICITY
OF THE MARRIAGE
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi The wisdom behind this condition
wa sallam) said, “There is no
marriage without a guardian
and two just witnesses.”
(Bayḥaqi and Ṭabarāni)
Conditions of the witnesses
- Male
- Physically Mature
- Sane
- Mentally Mature
- Muslim
- Free
The ruling in regards to having two
witnesses
Marriage must only be announced
Two witnesses suffice without further
announcement
Both the two witnesses and announcing to the
public are required
Either of the two is sufficient
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi Publicizing the marriage is an obligation
wa sallam) said, “Make the
marriage well-known and
open.” (Ṭabarāni)
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi
wa sallam) said, “Announce
the wedding.” (Aḥmad)
61
How many witnesses
must be there?
T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
THE
DOWER
(AL-MAHR)
Definition:
\\It is what is given to the bride by the groom
with the intention for marraige
The dowry is the right of the bride only
“And give the women
[upon marriage] their
[bridal] gifts graciously.
But if they give up willingly
to you anything of it, then
take it in satisfaction and
ease.” (4:4)
“And [also prohibited
to you are all] married
women except those your
right hands possess. [This
is] the decree of Allāh
upon you. And lawful
to you are [all others]
beyond these, [provided]
that you seek them [in
marriage] with [gifts from]
your property, desiring
chastity, not unlawful
sexual intercourse. So
for whatever you enjoy
[of marriage] from
them, give them their
due compensation as an
obligation. And there is
no blame upon you for
what you mutually agree
to beyond the obligation.
Indeed, Allāh is ever
Knowing and Wise.” (4:24)
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T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi
wa sallam) said, “Search for
something even if it just be a
ring made of iron.” (al-Bukhāri
and Muslim)
“And there is no blame
upon you if you marry
them when you have
given them their due
compensation.” (60:10)
Conditions of the dower
- Purity
- Has value
- Can be delivered
- Known
The ruling of the dower
“There is no blame upon
you if you divorce women
you have not touched
nor specified for them an
obligation. But give them
[a gift of] compensation the wealthy according to
his capability and the poor
according to his capability
- a provision according to
what is acceptable, a duty
upon the doers of good.”
(2:236)
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T H E
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OF
LOV E
The maximum and minimum of dower
“But if you want to replace
one wife with another and
you have given one of them
a great amount [in gifts],
do not take [back] from it
anything. Would you take
it in injustice and manifest
sin?” (4:20)
“And there is no blame
upon you for what you
mutually agree to beyond
the obligation. Indeed,
Allāh is ever Knowing and
Wise.” (4:24)
“Umm Sulaym accepted Abu
Ṭalḥa's embracing of Islam as
her mahr.” (al-Nasā’i)
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi Extravagant dowers are a bad practice
wa sallam) said, “If any woman
marries herself without the
permission of her wali, then
her marriage is void, then
When is the woman entitled to her entire
her marriage is void, then
her marriage is void. If he dower?
consummated, she is entitled
to the mahr that would have
private parts lawful for him.”
(Aḥmad)
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T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
When is the woman entitled to half of her dower?
“And if you divorce them
before you have touched
them and you have already
specified for them an
obligation, then [give] half
of what you specified unless they forego the right
or the one in whose hand
is the marriage contract
foregoes it. And to forego it
is nearer to righteousness.
And do not forget
graciousness between you.
Indeed Allaah , of whatever
you do, is Seeing.” (2:237)
When does the woman lose all her right to her mahr?
“There is no blame upon
you if you divorce women
you have not touched
nor specified for them an
obligation. But give them
[a gift of] compensation the wealthy according to
his capability and the poor
according to his capability
- a provision according to
what is acceptable, a duty
upon the doers of good.”
(2:236)
Dividing the dower
The bride paying dowry to the groom is an un-Islamic
practice.
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T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
MUTUAL
CONSENT
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi
wa sallam) annulled the
marriage of al-Khansā alAnṣāriyyah who was a divorved
woman, because her father
married her off without her
consent. (al-Bukhāri)
The Prophet (Prophet
(ṣallallāhu) told a father who
was complaining about his
daughter's refusal of suitors:
“Do not marry her without her
consent.” (al-Nisā’i)
Ibn ‘Abbās narrated that a
young virgin woman come to
the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi
wa sallam) and stated that her
father had married her and
she disliked it. So the Prophet
(ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam)
gave her the option (to annul
the marriage or remain in the
marriage).
(Abu Dāwūd)
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi
wa sallam) said, “The non virgin
is not to be marriage until she
requests it. And the virgin is
not to be married without her
consent.” They said, “How is
her consent to be known?” He
(ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam)
replied, “If she remains silent.”
(al-Bukhāri and Muslim)
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T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
THE SUITABLE
MATCH
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi
wa sallam) said, “If someone
whose religion and character
you are pleased with comes to
you to marry your daughter,
then marry her off to him. If
you don’t do so, there will be
tribulation on the earth and a
great deal of evil.” (Tirmidhi)
“Evil women are for
evil men and evil men
are for evil women. And
good women are for good
men, and good men are
for good women. Those
[good people] are declared
innocent of what they [i.e.,
slanderers] say. For them
is forgiveness and noble
provision.” (24:26)
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi Definition of a suitable match
wa sallam) said, “Choose the
mothers of your children. Linguistic Definition:
Marry the suitable ones, and
\\Similarity and equality
ask them to marry from your
family.” (Ibn Mājah)
Technical Definition:
\\That the husband is equal to the wife or higher in
status in certain areas
To whom is suitability sought: the bride or groom?
Considering the qualities of suitability:
1. Faith
2. Lineage and ethnicity
3. Wealth
4. Profession
5. Soundness
6. Age
7. Freedom
8. Health conditions
Is al-kafā’ah a condition for the validity of a marriage
contract?
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T H E
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OF
LOV E
FREE OF THE
HINDRANCE THAT
FORBID MARRIAGE
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi A- Marrying in the state of iḥrām
wa sallam) said, “The one who
is in the state of iḥrām should
not marry, or give some one
into marriage nor engaged.”
(Muslim)
Ibn ‘Abbās reported that the
Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa
sallam) married Maymūnah
when he was in state of iḥrām.
(al-Bukhāri and Muslim)
B- Marrying a woman who is in her ‘iddah.
“There is no blame upon
you for that to which
you [indirectly] allude
concerning a proposal to
women or for what you
conceal within yourselves.
Allāh knows that you
will have them in mind.
But do not promise them
secretly except for saying a
proper saying. And do not
determine to undertake
a marriage contract until
the decreed period reaches
its end. And know that
Allāh knows what is within
yourselves, so beware
of Him. And know that
Allāh is Forgiving and
Forbearing.” (2:235)
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LOV E
It is forbidden to marry a woman while in her
‘iddah.
What is the ruling if someone marries a woman who
is in her ‘iddah?
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T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
PLACING
PREREQUISITES
IN THE MARRIAGE
CONTRACT
The ruling of having prerequisites in the
marriage contract other than what is in the
Sharī‘ah
“[Those who] fulfill
their promise when they
promise; and [those who]
are patient in poverty
and hardship and during
battle... and it is those who
are the righteous.” (2:177)
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi
wa sallam) said, “Indeed, the
conditions that are the most
worthy of fulfillment are the
ones which you stipulate to
make intercourse with women
lawful to you.” (al-Bukhāri and
Muslim)
“O you who have believed,
fulfill [all] contracts.” (5:1)
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OF
LOV E
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi Valid stipulations that are obligatory to be
wa sallam) said, “Muslims must fulfilled:
act upon their stipulations
[that they have set down]”.
(Abu Dāwūd)
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu Invalid stipulations:
‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Any
stipulation that is not in the
book of Allāh is void, even
if it be one hundred such
stipulations.” (Al Bukhāri and
Muslim)
a- What nullifies the marriage contract.
b- What will not nullify the marriage contract.
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T H E
F I QH
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PROHIBITED AND
QUESTIONABLE
MARRIAGE
CONTRACTS
Jābir reported that the 1- Nikāḥ’l-Shighār
Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa
sallam) prohibited al-Shighār. This marriage is when a man offers his daughter
(al-Bukhāri) to another man in exchange for that other man’s
daughter in marriage with neither of the women
receiving their mahr.
‘Ali b. Abi Ṭālib reported 2- Nikāḥ’l-Mu‘tah
that the Prophet (ṣallallāhu “fixed-time marriage for pleasure”
‘alayhi wa sallam) prohibited
al-Mut‘ah. (al-Bukhāri and
It is a marriage that is explicitly agreed upon to be
Muslim)
for only a fixed period of time.
3- Nikāḥ’l-Taḥlīl
This marriage takes place with the intention of
making a woman who was divorced three times
halāl for her previous husband.
4- Marrying with the intention of divorce
This occurs when a man marries a woman with the
intention of divorcing her without mentioning this
intention to her or in the contract.
72
What is the ruling
in regards to civil
marriages in the
court of a nonMuslim country?
T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
THE WEDDING
Walīmah
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu The Ruling concerning the walīmah
‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “A
wedding must have a feast.”
(Aḥmad)
The timing of the walīmah
Extravagance is forbidden
“O children of Ādam,
take your adornment at
every masjid, and eat and
drink, but be not excessive.
Indeed, He likes not those
who commit excess.” (7:31)
What should
you do if you
are fasting?
The ruling regarding attending a walīmah in
which sins are committed
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T H E
F I QH
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LOV E
THE
WEDDING NIGHT
The wedding party
Greeting the bride and groom
Gifts
Wrong practices on the wedding night
“Oh, Allāh I ask
you for the good of
her, and the good
of what you created
in her. And I seek
refuge in you from
the evil in her, and
the evil of what
you have created in
her.” (Abu Dāwūd)
Is it Sunnah to pray two rak‘ahs with your
spouse on that night?
The fear of the wedding night
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LOV E
MARITAL LIFE
What you need to know about men and
women!!
The female species
The male species
‘Umar b. al-Khaṭṭāb (raḍyAllāhu
‘anhu) said: “Put your brother’s
affairs in the best light that
he may not act towards you
in a manner obliging you to
take a contrary opinion. Think
not evil of any word that has
proceeded out of the mouth
of a Muslim, if you are able
to find a good construction
for it.” Such, may Allāh
exalt you, is the manner of
conduct enjoined by Allāh, the
Messenger of Allāh, and amīr of
the Faithful.”
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30 things you need to know about marital relationships!
The five languages of
love
1. Words of affirmation
2. Quality time
3. Gifts
4. Acts of service
5. Physical contact
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T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
ACTIVITY S H E E T
Write five things you can do to win the heart of your spouse?
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T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
SEX AND
INTIMACY
IN MARRIED LIFE
Islam and sexuality
The default ruling of sexual acts
The impermissible sexual acts
Etiquettes:
Reciting the du‘ā’
Love coupons
FOR SALE!
Do not miss out!!!
Considering general hygiene
Taking time for satisfying foreplay
Observing the permissible intercourse
Giving equal time to arrive at full satisfaction
Keeping the secrets of the sexual life
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LOV E
Contraception methods and
birth control
1. Coitus interruptus
2. Intra-uterine Device (IUD)
3. Contraceptive pill “The Pill”
4. Tubal ligation
5. Vasectomy “male sterilization”
6. Depo-Provera “The shot”
Family planning VS Permanent birth control
The Fiqh Council
(al-Majma’ al-Fiqhi)
issued the following
fatwa with regards to
family planning:
In the fifth conference in Kuwait 1-6 Jumāda’l-Ākhir
1409 AH (10-15 December 1988), after studying the
research presented by members and experts on the
subject of family planning, and listening to the debate
that took place on this topic, and based on the fact that
one of the objectives of marriage according to Islamic
sharī‘ah is to reproduce and preserve the human
race, and that it is not permissible to undermine this
objective, because undermining it goes against the
texts and teachings of sharī‘ah, which call for having
many children, protecting them and taking care of
them, because producing and caring for offspring
is one of the five kulliyāt (holistic principles) which
sharee’ah came to protect
1 – It is not permissible to issue laws that limit the
freedom of couples to have children.
2 – It is harām to remove the ability of men and women
to have children, which is known as sterilization, so
long as there is no need to do so according to shar‘i
principles.
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3 – It is permissible to use temporary means of
contraception in order to increase the gaps between
pregnancies, or to stop them for a limited period
of time, if there is a valid shar‘i reason for doing so,
based on the couple’s estimation and with mutual
consultation and agreement, subject to the condition
that this does not result in harm and that the means is
acceptable according to sharī‘ah and will not damage
any existing pregnancy.
And Allāh knows best.
Resolution no. 38 (1/5), re: Family planning.
Artificial insemination
The Islamic Fiqh
council issued the
following fatwa in its
seventh session held
in 1404 hijra.
“Taking a female seed and a male one from a man and
a woman who are husband and wife and doing an Invitro fertilization for these seeds before planting the
resulting embryo in the womb of the wife from whom
the egg was taken is in principle acceptable in Islaam
but it can raise some doubts due to what accompanies
it. So, it should not be practiced unless there is dire
necessity to do so and with some pre-conditions.”
These conditions are as follows:
1. The Muslim woman must not under any
circumstances show her private parts to anybody
except her husband unless there is a lawful reason for
doing so.
2. No doubt, that the need for the woman to be treated
for an illness is a lawful reason that gives her the right
to be exposed to a person other than her husband, but
this should be in conformity with the necessity itself.
3. If there is a legal reason for the woman to be
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LOV E
exposed to a person other than her husband for
treatment, that person should be a Muslim woman if
there is one who can do the job; if not found, then a
non-Muslim woman; if not found then a trustworthy
Muslim doctor; if not found then a non-Muslim doctor.
This is the legal sequence. It is unlawful for the patient
woman to stay alone with an alien male doctor. Her
husband or another woman should be with them.
The council also states that: “the need of the married
woman as well as her husband to have a child is a
sound reason and a legal one that makes lawful for this
woman to seek treatment in the lawful way of artificial
insemination. The same rule was given by the Fiqh
council of the Islamic Conference in 1407
(after hijra).
As for the scholars who forbid such an operation their
reasons are:
First, they fear that the woman might give birth to
handicapped children and the operation itself might
have bad consequences on the newborn or the mother.
Second, the probability of doubt about the lineage
of the newborn left to the doctor who is the only one
who can establish that he has done the insemination
between the seeds of the two parts of the couple.
This might lead to some doubts because the doctor
might have used a wrong mixture by mistake or the
doctor might have some pity on a woman who wants
desperately to conceive and put an alien embryo in
her uterus. For this reason, one should seek to have
this operation done by a trustworthy Muslim woman
doctor.
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Third, if the husband has a limited number of
spermatozoids in his sperm and wants to conserve it in
a bank specialized in conserving the sperm unchanged
is it lawful for him to do so? Muslim scholars have
different rulings on this issue. Some of them think that
this is lawful provided that any insemination should
be done during the husband’s lifetime. Other scholars
believe that this is lawful even after the death of the
husband but before the expiration of the wife’s iddah
(waiting period). A third group of scholars believes
that any remaining sperm after the insemination
was performed, should be destroyed and not kept for
future use. The same disagreement exists also as far
as the woman’s ovules are concerned before being
fertilized and after the fertilization.
The reason for this prohibition is the uncertainty
about the concerned sperm or fertilized ovules in the
banks of embryos. There is great probability that these
embryos can get mixed or that someone misuses them
and they might be given to alien persons and this leads
the person to commit a sin and can cause mixture in
lineage.
The Fiqh Council - a sub-organisation of the Islamic
Conference issued a fatwa about this in 1410 (AH) 1990
(AC):
1. Since it has been proved scientifically that
unfertilized ovules can be stored and served for future
use, only the number that is to be planted each time
should be withdrawn to avoid having a surplus of
fertilized ovules.
2. If there is a surplus of fertilized ovules, they should
be left without assistance till they die naturally.
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3. It is forbidden to take a woman’s fertilized ovule and
plant it in another woman’s uterus. All precautions
should be taken to avoid using a fertilized egg in a
forbidden pregnancy.
A Muslim is required to have confidence that only
Allāh, The Exalted, will cure and relieve him. One
has to know that many people resorted to artificial
insemination and then, Allāh cured them and grant
them the offspring from His favor without need to
such a method of pregnancy.
If a woman becomes pregnant with one embryo or
more, naturally or by artificial insemination, she is
not allowed to cause to have an abortion as long as her
pregnancy exceeds forty days.
One exception is that if an expert trustworthy doctor
says that this pregnancy will endanger the mother’s
life, then an abortion becomes allowed.
As for possible danger or deformation of an embryo,
this does not constitute a real reason for causing
abortion, and a perpetrator is considered sinful since
he committed an aggression on a human being’s right
of life.
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ABORTION
“And do not kill your
children for fear of poverty:
We give them sustenance
and yourselves (too): surely
to kill them is a great
wrong.” (17:31)
“Take not life which Allāh
has made sacred.” (6:151)
Is abortion forbidden in all stages?
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F I QH
OF
LOV E
NEWBORN
It was narrated from ‘Ā’ishah Al-‘Aqīqah
(raḍyAllāhu ‘anhu) that the
Messenger of Allaah (ṣallallāhu
‘alayhi wa sallam) commanded
them (to slaughter) two sheep
of similar type for a boy and Naming the child
one sheep for a girl.
(al-Tirmidhi)
Shaving the child’s head
Al-Taḥnīk (Rubbing the child’s mouth with dates)
Are there any du‘ā’s in the Sunnah related to the
newborn?
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F I QH
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LOV E
THE RIGHTS OF
THE HUSBAND
AND WIFE
Common rights between the two
“And due to the wives is
similar to what is expected
of them, according to what
is reasonable.” (2:228)
Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa
sallam) said, “The best of you
is the one who is best to his
family and I am the best to
my family.” (Tirmidhi)
The rights of the wife upon her husband
“And give the women
[upon marriage]
their [bridal] gifts
graciously. But if
they give up willingly
to you anything of
it, then take it in
satisfaction and ease.”
(4:4)
Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa
sallam) said, “Beware of Allāh
concerning women, you have
taken them as a trust from
Allāh and they have made
them permissible to you by
the word of Allāh”. (Muslim)
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“O you who have believed,
it is not lawful for you
to inherit women by
compulsion. And do not
make difficulties for them
in order to take [back] part
of what you gave them
unless they commit a clear
immorality. And live with
them in kindness. For if
you dislike them - perhaps
you dislike a thing and
Allāh makes therein much
good.” (4:19)
“And you will never be
able to be equal [in feeling]
between wives, even if you
should strive [to do so]. So
do not incline completely
[toward one] and leave
another hanging. And if
you amend [your affairs]
and fear Allāh - then
indeed, Allāh is ever
Forgiving and Merciful.”
(4:129)
The rights of the husband upon his wife
“Men are in charge of
women by [right of] what
Allāh has given one over
the other and what they
spend [for maintenance]
from their wealth.” (4:34)
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi
wa sallam) said, “Do not allow
anyone into his house except
by permission.”
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi
wa sallam) said, “It is not
allowed for a woman to fast
and her husband is present
except with his permission.”
(al-Bukhāri and Muslim)
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T H E
F I QH
OF
LOV E
IN-LAWS
OR
OUT-LAWS
Why is there a bad reputation for in-laws?
What are the common reasons for these
problems to happen?
Tips to help avoid problems with in-laws:
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MARRIAGE S.O.S.
Al-Īlā’
Linguistic Definition:
\\to swear, to take an oath
Technical Definition:
\\This is when the husband takes an oath not
to approach his wife.
“For those who swear not
to have sexual relations
with their wives is a
waiting time of four
months, but if they return
[to normal relations] - then
indeed, Allāh is Forgiving
and Merciful.” (2:226)
Does the divorce fall automatically with the
end of the four month period?
What is the ruling if the husband takes back
the wife?
How can the husband take back his oath?
The maximum period for which a man may
abstain from his wife is four months. If he does
not go back to her, the judge will divorce the
wife from her husband.
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MARRIAGE S.O.S.
Al-Ẓhihār
Linguistic Definition:
\\comes from ẓahr, which means back
Technical Definition:
\\It is when the husband makes a statement that implies that
the woman becomes forever forbidden.
Al-Ẓihār is a practice which dates back to the times of preIslamic ignorance.
“Those who pronounce
ẓihār among you [to
separate] from their
wives - they are not
[consequently] their
mothers. Their mothers
are none but those who
gave birth to them. And
indeed, they are saying an
objectionable statement
and a falsehood. But
indeed, Allāh is Pardoning
and Forgiving. And those
who pronounce ẓihār from
their wives and then [wish
to] go back on what they
said - then [there must be]
the freeing of a slave before
they touch one another.
That is what you are
admonished thereby; and
Allāh is Acquainted with
what you do. And he who
does not find [a slave] then a fast for two months
consecutively before they
touch one another; and
he who is unable - then
the feeding of sixty poor
persons. That is for you
to believe [completely] in
Allāh and His Messenger;
and those are the limits
[set by] Allāh. And for the
disbelievers is a painful
punishment.” (58:2-4)
Al-Ẓihār is
a forbidden
act.
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MARRIAGE S.O.S.
Al-Nushūz
“Men are in charge of
women by [right of]
what Allāh has given
one over the other and
what they spend [for
maintenance] from their
wealth. So righteous
women are devoutly
obedient, guarding in [the
husband’s] absence what
Allāh would have them
guard. But those [wives]
from whom you fear
arrogance - [first] advise
them; [then if they persist],
forsake them in bed; and
[finally], strike them. But if
they obey you [once more],
seek no means against
them. Indeed, Allāh is ever
Exalted and Grand.” (4:34)
“And if a woman fears
from her husband
contempt or evasion, there
is no sin upon them if they
make terms of settlement
between them - and
settlement is best. And
present in [human] souls
is stinginess. But if you do
good and fear Allāh - then
indeed Allāh is ever, with
what you do, Acquainted.”
(4:128)
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“And if you fear dissension
between the two, send
an arbitrator from his
people and an arbitrator
from her people. If they
both desire reconciliation,
Allāh will cause it between
them. Indeed, Allāh is ever
Knowing and Acquainted
[with all things].” (4:35)
The definition:
\\Each spouse transgresses and is hostile
against each other
Al-Nushūz is a forbidden act.
Nushūz can be by speech and deed
Nushūz on the part of the husband
Nushūz on the part of the wife
The remedy for nushūz when it is from the wife
“Men are in charge of women
by [right of] what Allāh has
given one over the other
and what they spend [for
maintenance] from their
wealth. So righteous women
are devoutly obedient,
guarding in [the husband’s]
absence what Allāh would
have them guard. But those
[wives] from whom you fear
arrogance - [first] advise them;
[then if they persist], forsake
them in bed; and [finally],
strike them. But if they obey
you [once more], seek no
means against them. Indeed,
Allāh is ever Exalted and
Grand.” (4:34)
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The remedy for nushūz when it is from the husband
“And if a woman fears
from her husband
contempt or evasion, there
is no sin upon them if they
make terms of settlement
between them - and
settlement is best. And
present in [human] souls
is stinginess. But if you do
good and fear Allāh - then
indeed Allāh is ever, with
what you do, Acquainted.”
(4:128)
Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa
sallam) said, “The best of you
is the one who is best to his
family and I am the best to
my family.” (Tirmidhi)
“And if you fear dissension
between the two, send
an arbitrator from his
people and an arbitrator
from her people. If they
both desire reconciliation,
Allāh will cause it between
them. Indeed, Allāh is ever
Knowing and Acquainted
[with all things].” (4:35)
The conditions and attributes for the two arbitrators
“No good is there in
much of their private
conversation, except for
those who enjoin charity
or that which is right
or conciliation between
people. And whoever does
that seeking means to the
approval of Allāh - then
We are going to give him a
great reward.” (4:114)
Do the arbitrators
have the authority to
separate the couple?
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DOMESTIC
VIOLENCE
Physical
Sexually
Emotionally
Verbal
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ACT I VITY SHEET
The #1 marital problem is _________________________________________.
What do you think are the 7 clearest red signs that a marriage is in danger?
Create a 7 step peace plan for the family.
Think of 7 words that can turn everything around.
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DIVORCE
Linguistic definition:
\\Setting free
Technical definition:
\\Dissolving the marital contract
The ruling of divorce.
“Divorce is twice. Then,
either keep [her] in an
acceptable manner or
release [her] with good
treatment.” (2:229)
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Thawbān narrated (may
Allāh be pleased with him)
said: “The Messenger of Allāh
(ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam)
said: ‘Any woman who asks
her husband for a divorce
when it is not absolutely
necessary, the fragrance of
Paradise will be forbidden to
her.’”(Abu Dāwūd, Tirmidhi
and Ibn Mājah)
THE PILLARS OF DIVORCE
1- The husband or his
agent must be competent
(authorized to initiate
divorce) by fulfill the
following conditions: Islam,
sanity, maturity (reached the
age of puberty), free will (notcoerced).
The categories of divorce:
“O Prophet, when you
[Muslims] divorce women,
divorce them for [the
commencement of] their
waiting period and keep
count of the waiting
period, and fear Allāh, your
Lord. Do not turn them
out of their [husbands’]
houses, nor should they
[themselves] leave [during
that period] unless they
are committing a clear
immorality. And those are
the limits [set by] Allāh .
And whoever transgresses
the limits of Allāh has
certainly wronged himself.
You know not; perhaps
Allaah will bring about
after that a [different]
matter.” (65:1)
(A) From the perspective of its
ruling:
1. Al-ṭalāq al-sunni
2. Al-ṭalāq al-bid‘i
2- Intention
3- The subject of divorce
4- The wording: Explicit &
implicit
Conditions of al-ṭalāq al-sunni:
1. The wife must be free of her menses at the time
when the divorce is pronounced.
2. The divorce was pronounced at the time of her
purity, wherein they had no sexual intercourse, or at
the time when the wife is clear that she is pregnant.
3. The divorce was pronounced one time only.
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“Ibn ‘Umar divorced his wife
while she is in her menses.”
(Muslim)
“O Prophet, when you
[Muslims] divorce women,
divorce them for [the
commencement of] their
waiting period and keep
count of the waiting period,
and fear Allāh , your
Lord. Do not turn them
out of their [husbands’]
houses, nor should they
[themselves] leave [during
that period] unless they
are committing a clear
immorality. And those are
the limits [set by] Allāh .
And whoever transgresses
the limits of Allāh has
certainly wronged himself.
You know not; perhaps
Allāh will bring about after
that a [different] matter.”
(65:1)
Does bid‘i divorce count?
Should the person wait for her menses to
finish or wait until she purifies herself before
divorce may be pronounced?
What are the rulings for women in nifās
(experiencing post-partum bleeding) and
those who do not menstruate?
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The Ruling of Having Witnesses for the Divorce
“And when they have
[nearly] fulfilled their
term, either retain them
according to acceptable
terms or part with them
according to acceptable
terms. And bring to
witness two just men from
among you and establish
the testimony for [the
acceptance of] Allāh. That
is instructed to whoever
should believe in Allāh and
the Last day. And whoever
fears Allāh - He will make
for him a way out.” (65:1-2)
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(B) From the perspective of its
revocability
1. Revocable (Raj‘i)
2. Irrevocable (Bā’in):
(a) major
(b) minor
(a) major- when the husband divorces the
wife 3 times
“And if he has divorced
her [for the third time],
then she is not lawful to
him afterward until [after]
she marries a husband
other than him. And if the
latter husband divorces
her [or dies], there is no
blame upon the woman
and her former husband
for returning to each other
if they think that they can
keep [within] the limits of
Allāh . These are the limits
of Allāh, which He makes
clear to a people who
know.” (2:230)
(b) minor- when the divorce occurs before the
consummation of the marriage, in the case of
an invalid contract, and in the case of khul‘
“O You who have believed,
when you marry believing
women and then divorce
them before you have
touched them, then there
is not for you any waiting
period to count concerning
them. So provide for them
and give them a gracious
release.” (33:49)
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“Ibn ‘Umar divorced his wife
while she is in her menses.”
(Muslim)
(C) From the perspective of how it
is communicated
1. Verbal
2. Written
3. Gesture or signal
(D) From the perspective
of the time of its effect:
A. Immediate
B. Conditional
What is the ruling regarding divorcing in the
status of anger or intoxication?
If your parents want you to get divorce what
you should do?
Can a woman divorce herself?
102
“O Prophet, when you
[Muslims] divorce women,
divorce them for [the
commencement of] their
waiting period and keep
count of the waiting period,
and fear Allāh , your
Lord. Do not turn them
out of their [husbands’]
houses, nor should they
[themselves] leave [during
that period] unless they
are committing a clear
immorality. And those are
the limits [set by] Allāh.
And whoever transgresses
the limits of Allāh has
certainly wronged himself.
You know not; perhaps
Allāh will bring about after
that a [different] matter.”
(65:1)
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After
Divorce
“And when they have
[nearly] fulfilled their
term, either retain them
according to acceptable
terms or part with them
according to acceptable
terms.” (65:2)
“And do not forget
graciousness between you.
Indeed Allāh, of whatever
you do, is Seeing.” (2:237)
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AL-KHUL‘
Linguistic definition:
\\Removal
Technical definition:
\\The separation of the wife from her husband
in return for a payment received
Al-Khul‘ is permissible if there is a valid reason.
Ibn ‘Abbās (raḍyAllāhu ‘anhu)
stated that the wife of Thābit
b. Qays came to the Prophet
(ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) and
said: “O Messenger of Allāh,
I do not find any fault with
Thābit b. Qays in his character
or his religious commitment,
but I do not want to commit
any act of kufr after becoming
a Muslim.” The Prophet
(ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam)
said to her, “Will you give back
his garden?” Because he had
given her a garden as her mahr.
She said, “Yes.” The Prophet
(ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam)
said to Thābit: “Take back your
garden, and divorce her.
(al-Bukhāri)
“And it is not lawful for
you (men) to take back
(from your wives) any of
your mahr (bridal-money
given by the husband
to his wife at the time of
marriage) which you have
given them, except when
both parties fear that
they would be unable to
keep the limits ordained
by Allāh (e.g. to deal with
each other on a fair basis).
Then if you fear that they
would not be able to keep
the limits ordained by
Allāh, then there is no sin
on either of them if she
gives back (the Mahr or a
part of it) for her al-Khul‘
(divorce).” [al-Baqarah
2:229]
According to Ibn Mājah , she
said: “I cannot stand him.”
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Can he receive more than what he gave her in
mahr?
Is khul‘ a divorce or faskh (Annulment)?
“And if he has divorced
her [for the third time],
then she is not lawful to
him afterward until [after]
she marries a husband
other than him. And if the
latter husband divorces
her [or dies], there is no
blame upon the woman
and her former husband
for returning to each other
if they think that they can
keep [within] the limits of
Allāh. These are the limits
of Allāh, which He makes
clear to a people who
know.”(2:230)
The conditions of al-khul‘
1. That it happens from a
husband who is eligible to
make divorce
2. That there is
recompense given
3. That it is immediate,
not conditional
4. That it is not done as a
trick to avoid divorce
5. That it is not
pronounced in the form
of divorce
6. That the intention is
not one of divorce
The waiting period (‘iddah) following khul‘
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AL-FASKH
Linguistic definition:
\\Breaking off or Separation
Technical definition:
\\The immediate dissolution of a marriage by
a judge
Does it need to be
done in a specific
time?
The waiting period (‘iddah)
Is it revocable?
The reasons of al-faskh
Does it count as
one divorce?
Reasons that are incidental and cause the
nullification of the marriage contract.
Reasons that previously existed and cause the
nullification of the marriage contract.
Reasons related to a defect in the husband or
the wife.
Reasons related to the fulfillment of the
conditions of the marriage.
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AL-‘IDDAH
(THE WAITING PERIOD)
Linguistic definition:
\\From ‘add, which means counting.
Technical definition:
\\The time period ordained by the Sharī‘ah for a woman
who parts from her husband via his death or divorce,
after which she is completely separated from the
marriage contract and is allowed to remarry.
The causes of the ‘iddah:
Divorce
Death
The ‘iddah of khul’ and faskh.
Divorced women are of two categories:
A. Divorced prior to the consummation of the marriage
“O You who have believed,
when you marry believing
women and then divorce
them before you have
touched them, then there
is not for you any waiting
period to count concerning
them. So provide for them
and give them a gracious
release.” (33:49)
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B. Divorced after the consummation of the
marriage
1. Pregnant
“And those who no longer
expect menstruation
among your women – if
you doubt, then their
period is three months, and
[also for] those who have
not menstruated. And for
those who are pregnant,
their term is until they give
birth. And whoever fears
Allāh – He will make for
him of his matter ease.”
(65:4)
2. Non-pregnant women
I. The one who has a regular menstrual cycle.
“And those who are taken
in death among you and
leave wives behind – they,
[the wives, shall] wait
four months and ten
[days]. And when they
have fulfilled their term,
then there is no blame
upon you for what they
do with themselves in an
acceptable manner. And
Allāh is [fully] Acquainted
with what you do.” (2:234)
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“Divorced women remain
in waiting for three periods,
and it is not lawful for
them to conceal what
Allāh has created in their
wombs if they believe in
Allāh and the Last Day.
And their husbands have
more right to take them
back in this [period] if they
want reconciliation. And
due to the wives is similar
to what is expected of
them, according to what
is reasonable. But the men
have a degree over them
[in responsibility and
authority]. And Allāh is
Exalted in Might and Wise.”
(2:228)
Al-qur’: Does it refer to the time of
menstruation or the time of purity from
menstruation?
II. The one who does not have a menstrual
cycle.
III. The one who does not a have regular
menstrual cycle.
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The ‘iddah of the widow
“And those who are taken
in death among you and
leave wives behind – they,
[the wives, shall] wait four
months and ten [days]. And
when they have fulfilled
their term, then there is no
blame upon you for what
they do with themselves in
an acceptable manner. And
Allāh is [fully] Acquainted
with what you do.” (2:234)
What is the ‘iddah of
the woman whose
husband is missing?
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Types in General
T H E
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Financial Support
and Housing for the
Woman in ‘Iddah
In the case of revocable divorce, the woman is
entitled to financial support and housing.
The pregnant, divorced women whose ‘iddah is
caused by death is entitled to housing only.
In the case of irrevocable divorce, there is a
difference of opinion. Al-Imām Aḥmad said
that she deserves neither housing nor support.
Al-Shāfi‘i said she is to receive housing only.
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AL-MIT‘AH
Definition:
\\An additional financial compensation given
by a man to his wife after divorce
“There is no blame upon
you if you divorce women
you have not touched
nor specified for them an
obligation. But give them [a
gift of] compensation - the
wealthy according to his
capability and the poor
according to his capability
- a provision according to
what is acceptable, a duty
upon the doers of good.”
(2:236)
“And for divorced women
is a provision according to
what is acceptable – a duty
upon the righteous.” (2:241)
Its Ruling:
Women entitled to al-mit‘ah
Women not entitled to al-mit‘ah
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AL-RAJ‘AH
(TAKING BACK THE
DIVORCE)
Linguistic definition:
\\From al-rujū‘, which means return
Technical definition:
\\The return of the wife to her husband during
the ‘iddah in the case of a revocable divorce
without a new contract
The conditions of al-rajāh‘
- after consummation of the
marriage
- after valid divorce
- after revocable divorce
- during ‘iddah
- immediate, not conditional
- the divorce was with no
recompense (khul‘)
In the case of a revocable divorce, a man
can take back his wife in three ways:
Verbal
Sexual Intercourse
Loving acts and gestures (such as kissing and
hugging)
The raj‘ah does not require wali, mahr (dower),
or the wife’s consent.
It is recommended to have two witnesses for
the raj‘ah.
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Returning the Wife after an Irrevocable
Divorce:
- If a man divorces a woman three times,
she becomes ḥarām for him after the third
divorce, but if she marries another man after
the third divorce, she becomes ḥalāl for the
first husband on fulfillment of the following
conditions:
(i) The marriage with the second person
should have been of permanent nature. If he
contracts with her a temporary marriage for
one month or a year and then separates from
her, the first husband cannot marry her.
(ii) The second husband should have had
sexual intercourse with her, and the obligatory
precaution is that the sexual intercourse
should have taken place in the normal way.
(iii) The second husband divorces her or dies.
(iv) The waiting period (‘iddah) of divorce or
‘iddah of death of the second husband should
have come to an end.
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CHILD CUSTODY
Linguistic definition:
\\From al-hadhn, which means the side.
Technical definition:
\\Protecting and raising a child and taking
care of his needs, both physical and religious
‘Abd-Allāh b. ‘Amr (may Allāh be
pleased with him) narrated, that a
woman said: “O Messenger of Allāh,
my womb was a vessel for this son
of mine and my breasts gave him to
drink, and he rested in my lap. But his
father has divorced me and wants to
take him from me.” The Messenger of
Allāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said
to her: “You have more right to him so
long as you do not get married again.”
(Aḥmad, and Abu Dāwūd)
The mother and her family are the most
deserving of custody.
Yahyaa b. Sa‘īd said: “I heard alQāsim b. Muḥammad said: ‘ ‘Umar
b. al-Khaṭṭāb had a wife from among
the anṣār who bore him ‘Āsim b.
‘Umar, then ‘Umar divorced her.
‘Umar came to Quba’ and found his
son ‘Āsim playing in the courtyard
of the mosque. He took him by the
arm and seated him in front of him
on his riding animal, but the child’s
grandmother caught up with him
and fought with him over the child
until they went to Abu Bakr al-Ṣiddīq.
‘Umar said, ‘(He is) my son!’ and the
woman said, ‘(He is) my son!’ Abu Bakr
said: ‘Leave them alone,’ and ‘Umar
did not answer back.” (Mālik, and alBayḥaqi).
Ibn ‘Abd al-Barr said: this ḥadīth is well
known with a variety of isnāds, complete and
incomplete, and is accepted by the scholars.
According to some reports, [Abu
Bakr] said: “The mother is more
compassionate, kinder, more merciful,
more loving and more generous, and
she has more right to her child unless
she remarries.”
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Custody of the Infant:
Custody of the older children:
When the child reaches the age of seven, if
male he should be given the choice between
his parents and he should live with the one
who is dearest to him.
With regards to a female, there is a difference
of opinion among the scholars:
Al-Shāfi‘i said: She should also be given the choice.
Abu Ḥanīfah said: The mother has more right to her,
until she gets married or menstruates.
Mālik said: The mother has more right to her until
she gets married and her husband consummates the
marriage with her.
Aḥmad said: The father has more right to her because
the father is the best one to look after her.
If the mother gets married, she loses the
custody of the children.
The conditions of the
guardian:
- Al-Islam
- Sanity
- Physical Maturity
- Trustworthiness
- Freedom
- Maḥram (in the case of the
custody of a girl)
Who deserves the custody of the children
after the mother?
The guardian deserves to be financially
compensated for his/her services.
“Let the rich man spend
according to his means;
and the man whose
resources are restricted,
let him spend according
to what Allāh has given
him. Allāh puts no
burden on any person
beyond what He has
given him. Allāh will
grant after hardship,
ease.” [65:7]
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ACTIVITY SHEET
What can you do to have the family you want?
1-
2-
3-
4-
5-
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To my dear husband
To my dear wife
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31. For Women Only
32. Gray, John. Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus
33. Grenier, Guy. The 10 Conversations You Must Have Before You Get
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