Performance Objectives Identify the elements of effective interpersonal communication. Define “Communication”. Understand your “Communication style”. Identify “Barriers” to effective communication. Identify negative examples of non-verbal communication. Identify Strategies for dealing with difficult people. Identify examples of difficult people. Identify difficult coworkers. How poor communication contributes to a negative workplace. Identify techniques to de-escalate a verbal confrontation while remaining professional. Identify the importance of self-evaluation “Tactical thinking” when dealing with difficult people. Define “Active listening”. Identify factors that develop a negative public response. Identify effective ways to comfort an emotionally upset individual. Identify how gender issues contribute to perceptions of the other’s behavior. Identify techniques to handle generational issues. Identify how personal motivation affects human behavior. Officer communication skills. Questioning and listening techniques Interpersonal Communication Robert Bolton Eighty percent of people who fail at work do so for one reason. They do not relate (communicate) well with others. Communication Defined thoughts , The exchange of: ___________ messages or _______________; information ____________, speech ________, signals ________, writing or by By _________, behavior ___________ Interpersonal Rapport What is your Communication Style? Communication Style Self-Assessment It is important to be aware of your communication style and also the communication style of those that you are speaking to. 7 Roadblocks – What Gets in the Way Roadblocks can become strengths if we increase our awareness of our own tendencies, and acknowledge their impact on all our interactions The primary responsibility of effective interpersonal communication lies with: The Communicator/ Sender _______________________ 3/6/2024 9 Group Resume To lead a group of people from many different countries and cultures from around the world, into unchartered territory in the wilderness to see if it is habitable for humans. IPC IS IRREVERSIBLE Once the words are said Non-verbal cue sent You cannot take it back Interpersonal Communication 3/6/2024 12 Body Language Understanding Gestures in Context 3/6/2024 13 Examples of Body Language 3/6/2024 14 Body Language Hands on hips Known as confrontational A non-verbal challenge Body Language Looking away Ignoring you Looking for escape route Preparing to fight or run Body Language Rolling shirt sleeves up High stress or anxiety Getting ready to fight Body Language Face and Head Face conveys emotion Head conveys attitude Body Language Foot direction Often indicates where the person wants to be One of the hardest to disguise Body Language & Officer Safety Head angle indicates fight or flight Dropped or raise chin – fight Confirming gesture of fight fixed stare Watch area around neck (muscle tightening) possible attack “Happy Feet” Short, choppy gestures/verbal threat is real Palms out, can indicate emotion Watch out for deadly hands Multiple gestures and deadly gaze Knuckle-popping, flexing means trouble Red face Raised eyebrows Setting of hands Hands on hips Fixed dilated stare Watch the one not talking Flared nostrils, setting of jaw Mouth tense, lips down at corners Eyes wider during periods of intense emotions 4 Pillars of Non-Verbal Communication Difficult People Who are they? The most difficult person you have to yourself contend with is ______________ Why are people difficult? angry, upset, having a bad day _________________________________ Dealing with Co-Workers Student Manual The Aggressor The Unresponsive The Underminer The Egotist 5 Ways to Deal with Difficult Co-Workers 1. Be prepared for conflict 2. Do not fuel the fire 3. Lend a helping hand 4. Get a third party involved 5. Move on Managed Conflict Strengthens relationships and builds teamwork Encourages open communication and cooperative problem solving Quickly resolves disagreements and increases productivity Deals with real issues & concentrates on win-win resolution Unmanaged Conflict Damages relationships and discourages cooperation Results in defensiveness and hidden agendas Wastes time, money and human resources Focuses on blaming and fault finding Managed Conflict Makes allies and defuses anger Airs all sides of an issue in positive supportive environment Is orderly, calm and focused Unmanaged Conflict Creates enemies and hard feelings Is frustrating, stressproducing and energy-draining Is often loud, hostile and out of control Peace is not found avoiding conflict Peace is attained by learning to live with and successfully manage conflict Advantages of Conflict Conflict presents many positive aspects. It can be an opportunity for __________ personal _________ growth In a Conflict Situation Before you attempt to control others, you must first maintain control of yourself (mentally, emotionally, and physically) Losing control of self can result in: – Over-reaction, loss of situational awareness, escalation of violence, lawsuits and personnel complaints. You must remain: “Professional Under Pressure” Elements of Public Safety Professionalism celebrity Peace Officers enjoy ________________ _________ status ________ School is never out for a ________________ professional Required to adhere to a set of policies and procedures, a _______ Code ___ of ________ Ethics True professionals honor this responsibility and do not misuse their ______________ authority Remaining Professional Under Pressure 1. Personalize your service Leave Ego Out 2. Be a L.E.O. (__________________) 3. Treat people with dignity and respect 4. See the other person’s point-of-view 5. Use active listening 6. Stretch your flash point 7. Give people a way out that looks good to them 8. Agree, then turn it around 9. Focus on your professional objective; sidestep insults 10. Role model what you want 11. Give before you get 12. Use positive self talk 13. Life is a marathon, not a 100-yard dash 14. Project professionalism. Use professional voice and body language to strengthen credibility 15. Be reasonable and rational What Are Your Tools? You can gain or lose control by your: verbalization – _________________ – _______ body _____________ language Confrontation vs. cooperation – decide what you want. Remember, _____ 98% of law enforcement is done by verbalization. Tactical Thinking Gaining and maintaining control of situations means control of people. Controlling yourself comes first Controlling your thought process, how you talk to yourself, is the key to Self Control ______________ Problems that Inhibit Professionalism Negative mind set = a bad attitude Negative self-talk Lacking a positive belief of self Failure to take responsibility Lack of self-discipline Performing less than our best No goals Failure to be open to learn Only seeing our own view Being dishonest Avoiding Conflict Lacking self-confidence Lacking self-respect Treating others disrespectfully If under duress, you cannot perform well 100% Professional Zone Performance 0% 100% Tension / Stress Cycle of Behavior Behavior Consequences Reinforcement Self Talk Emotions Self Talk (Thinking) Beliefs How to Stop the Cycle Self _____ Talk _____ Challenge long-standing limiting beliefs Improve from your past Practice, study, learn Positive self-talk can break the cycle of unproductive behavior Expectations vs. Reality EXPECTATIONS STRESS REALITY The larger the gap the higher your stress level. General Mind Set To successfully and effectively communicate, have honest ____________, concern caring and an empathetic _____________, __________ _________ attitude Leave _____ Ego _____) Out Be a L.E.O. (________ Great Leaders are Great Communicators Great Communicators are Great Listeners Active Listening vs. Listening Active __________ Listening = understanding ________ or comprehending the intended message. Speaker feels respected. ___________ Listening = hearing – not necessarily understanding or communicating the intended message. Active Listening Gives them what they need and calms them down because it makes them respected feel ___________ It also empties their angry cup Hard ______ Work Active listening is ______ You learn a lot By listening you motivate __________ them to listen People speak 100-175 words per minute We listen at about 300–400 words per minute Here is how your message is received: 7 – What: ____% verbal (words you use) 38 is your voice (tone, intonation) – How:_____% – Seen:_____% 55 is body language Active Listening Three responsibilities for the listener: Attending Following Reflecting ___________ __________ ___________ (non-verbal) (verbal) (feedback) (confirming) Listening with Purpose (Mental Discipline) Listen to more than words – how does the person feel Listen with your eyes What are they saying and how is it said “Law of Reciprocity” Physical Discipline Deep Listening Speaking: Projecting Professionalism What we say vs. How we say it Audience will only get ___% from verbal ______ 7 tone ___ of voice 38% by your _____ ______ 55% is what they pick up _________ visually 7 Only ___% is delivered by words you use. 93 _____% by how you say what you say. Factors That Develop a Negative Public Response Condescending Dishonest/ deceptive Manipulative Threatening/ confrontational Inattentive Insincerity Lack of follow-through Lack of preparation 3/6/2024 Assumptions, bias, prejudice 51 How to Deal with Insults, Challenges & Verbal Hostility Remain professional in how you project yourself Remain professional while taking verbal flak Maintain your self control (Do not allow anyone to push your buttons) thermostat not a thermometer Be a _____________ Never _____ play ______ their ______ game _______ Six Steps to Manage Verbal Hostility Positive _____ self ______ talk 1. Use _________ 2. Ignore, deflect insults 3. Use a process comment 4. Use active listening 5. Make an agreement comment 6. State what you need. Upset, Difficult, Dangerous Role ____________: Modeling projects an ______ example of what you want to accomplish. Presenting yourself in a calm, professional, peaceful image does not add to the tension Seek cooperation 7 Steps in Gaining Cooperation Positive ______-_______ Self Talk 1. Use __________ 2. Project Professionalism _________________ 3. Ask ____ - for what you want 4. Explain __________ 5. Negotiate ___________ (good vs. bad) 6. Clarify cooperation vs. resistance 7. Time to repeat and reinforce the negotiation points or escalate to force Practical Solutions to Real Problems 1. Provide clear information 2. It is OK to tell the person you are sorry for their pain 3. If experiencing confusing emotions, explain that it is normal 4. Avoid interrupting 5. Help people focus on short-term goals 6. Be willing to accept people for who they are 7. Be tolerant 8. Do not be afraid to say “I do not know” Emotionally/Mentally Disturbed People 1. Size can be deceiving 2. Perceptions may differ considerably 3. Pace the contact 4. Patience can be priceless 5. Maintain tactical vigilance 6. Get as much information as possible prior to contact Police and ASD 1. Autistic Disorder 2. Asperger’s Disorder 3. Rett’s Syndrome 4. Childhood Disintegrative Disorder 5. Pervasive Developmental Disorder 28 Principles to Guide You When Dealing with ASD 1. First be safe 2. Persons with ASD are diverse 3. Manage your back-up 4. Do not interfere with “self-stimming” 5. Move 6. Allow for acclimation 7. Do not expect eye contact 8. Do not equate inability to speak with deafness or illiteracy 9. Do not read meaning into words alone 10. Use a normal volume of voice 11. Keep your tone of voice soft 12. Use an economy of words 13. Give them extra time to answer (11 sec) 14. Dispel their fear 15. Say “good job: to kids and adults 16. Use unthreatening body language 17. Model the behaviors you want to see 18. Personal space is relative 19. Look for a cause 20. Striking out is communication 21. Tell them the “rules” 22. Quiet hands and feet 23. Biting is a common defensive behavior Gender Issues Men – final solution oriented – Use fewer words to express themselves – Go straight to the bottom line and back fill only if necessary – Tend to finish one topic before going to another topic – Does not nod head unless agreeing during conversation Women – Talk all points of the issue – Use more words to make a point – Want to discuss the issue or problem to come up with a solution – Often change topic in middle of conversation – Nods head as a person speaks (not agreement) Generational Possibilities Outlook Work Ethic Veteran BB GenX GenY 1925-1945 1946-1964 1965-1979 1980-2000 Practical Dedicated Optimistic Skeptical Optimistic Driven Balanced Need Guidance View of Authority Respectful Love/Hate Unimpressed Unimpressed Leadership by Hierarchy Consensus Competence Flexibility Relationships Personal sacrifice Perspective Civic Personal Reluctant to Personal commit gratification gratification Team Self Self 5-Star Treatment You must give before you get respect ___-_____ 5 Star _____________ Treatment cost you nothing but it pays big dividends. How to Maintain Self Control Energy, effort and self-discipline Strengthen your self-confidence and self- discipline Turn Weakness into Strength Plato had a speech impediment so he put pebbles in his mouth and practiced trying to speak clearly. Wilma Rudolph was in leg braces at age 11 due to polio. At 16, she won a silver medal for sprinting at the Olympics. At age 20, she won 4 gold medals at the Olympics. Spud Webb N.C. Hornets – NBA slam dunk champ. He is 5’9” Demsey, NFL football place kicker only has ½ a foot All four of these people: Personal _________________ Responsibility Took __________ for their short comings positive Had or developed ___________ a __________ _________ attitude in themselves Developed a high frustration tolerance (_____-____________) Self Discipline Developed and maintained tremendous self-control. Officer Communication Interview Skills Information Questions – How, Who, What, Where, When, Why Precision Questions – What exactly? When exactly? Who exactly? How Much? Powerful Questions – What is stopping you? What are you afraid might happen if you….? Reflective Questions – So you are saying that….. Probing Questions Clarifying – Are you saying that …? Understanding – Could you explain further? Offering Ideas/Insights – Have you thought of….? Digging Deeper – What else happened? Unpeeling Layers – And then what happened? Use Open-Ended Questions Make no suggestions Invite witnesses or victims to talk in their own words Act as a memory prompt Get people talking Encourage full answers Help to get accurate information Examples What can I do to help? (open-ended) Can I help you? (closed- ended) Can you explain to me how you feel?(open) Are you upset? (closed) Avoid Closed-End Questions Courts may consider them as leading Do not suggest an idea to the witness or victim Do not lead the witness or victim to repeat what YOU said Avoid one word answer questions. Example: Does the suspect have a beard? How To Get Information Let the witness or victim talk 80% of the time Use their words when you ask subsequent questions Do not interrupt a statement Ask victim to confirm points Examples of Powerful Questions What can I do for you? What do you think the problem is? What is your role in this situation? What is preventing you from….? Tell me more about that? Explain to me how you are feeling? Emergency/Death Message _____ ____ ______ _____ Follow Your Agency Policy Be sure of your victim’s ID and status Choose location Keep objectivity Keep information release minimal Discreet radio traffic Bring support Be prepared for different reactions Leave contact information Be kind, considerate and professional Media Know your agency policy What can happen if released improperly If you have to give out information – Keep it to a minimum – Never say “No Comment” – Refer them to person who can assist or give a time when information can be released The media are paid to get the story, do not let it be _____ you who gave them the information that compromises an investigation, embarrasses the department or who is charged with a policy or law violation. How to Meet and Greet Professionally 1. Set the tone 2. I.D. yourself and your organization 3. State the reason for the contact 4. Their reason for behavior 5. Make request 6. Inform them of your actions 7. Professional close P= R= O= F= E= S= S= I = O= N= A= L= ____________ Positive belief in yourself _______________ Responsible for who you are Open to the reality of life _______ _____ Fit for life: mentally, emotionally, ___________: Empathy concern for others _______________: Self Discipline build high tolerance __________________ Self Confidence Intelligence maintain expertise ______________: __________: On Time Good time management Noble high moral character ________: ___________: Assertive take control _______: Love yourself, others, your work Questions, Comments, Concerns
