1|Heaven of my thoughts
Hello
Welcome to this book or this thing. Am Variopa
you will now me soon,
I spent a great life experience and I decided to
write it so you can have fun, lessons, and better
understanding of it.
so, all what you see in this book is based on a
real true story but with a little bit of place &
name changes.
but it’s 100% real so bon voyage to heaven of my
thoughts
2|Heaven of my thoughts
Chapter 1
The beginning
H
ere is where the story begins at a small and half beautiful town called Netaz. That town was too
good enough to make a peaceful life but sometimes, well life doesn’t always go up so a family
moved in from another city to this town, they started living there so they can make new life new
beginning. And they had a child actually 2 but it’s my story so I will talk about the first one. His
name was Variopa. He was a kid when they moved to this town and like every other kid, he started to blend in
to make some new friends. And he succeeded he mate one friend his name was Taro. Taro was a good friend to
him they eat together they go to the same school they had a good vibe, yeah, I know too much to expect from 7year-old kid but yeah, he was remarkable. Well at school people get really big lessons even the kids but like kids
they don’t understand it and hello we didn’t mate well I am Variopa nice to meet you too, this is my story am
that little kid out there you I bet you want to know more so okay let me tell you hear me carefully. I was a
handsome kid with little smooth hair and am not tall but 120cm approximate. And specially people know me
with my little funny nose. Let’s get back to the story. Netaz was the town where I grow up as I told you
before I had a friend called Taro, he was my best and we were living a happy life playing laughing around and
the day ended and it was the time to go home from school I was the only kid left at the school everyone was
going with their parents and mine didn’t came at all. The school is empty no one else left except me, I felt am
lonely and I decided to go home by myself.
I was scared to go home by myself you know this feeling do you remember when you started doing things by
yourself for the first time? Yeah, it’s scary at first but you get over it. Okay so I was heading home and, on the
road, I met someone I really don’t remember his name but he told me to hold on and be strong and it was awful
why would he say that to a 7-year kid? The mystery continuous and I got home I was mad cause they didn’t
pick me from school and I look like a tiny little mad goat but when I get home my mom gave me some food and
that changed my mood I started eating and watching my favorite movie and accidentally I heard my mom and
dad arguing and they cone Infront of me and it was normal cause I see this every time. So, I decided to go to
sleep and I went to my bed. But when I woke up, I saw something I didn’t even think about it was so
shocking and I passed out when woke up I saw my mom crying and there was a dab body in the living room
and my mom was crying and you know no one likes when their mom cries specially if you are a boy nothing
make you sad more than watching your mom cry.
And I started getting closer to the dead body in the living room there was white soft bandage over it and I
started to pull it of slowly and I was so afraid I haven’t seen a dead body in my life this was my first time, and
I was pulling of the bandage the hair started to show and I pulled it slowly and slowly the cover now I can see
the forehead and it was familiar and I started pulling so fat and you won’t believe what I saw under that
cotton. He was my dad Oh God I was terrified even though I was a kid I still know a sleeping man and a dead
body. My hands were shaking it was like I saw a ghost. My eyes were dropping tears of sadness and I thought
it was a dream I hit my head with the wall and it was so painful I realized it’s real and I freeze never said
anything I wanted to let my pain out but I want to show my mom how strong I am and to make her stronger
and suddenly someone came to the room and took me out of our house they thought I didn’t know so they were
taking me to the neighbor’s house so I couldn’t see this whole thing. So now I am in our neighbor’s house and I
3|Heaven of my thoughts
hear the crying and shouting of the people and I can’t stop crying it’s hard to explain how I was feeling to
anybody,,,,,,,
But there is something I was thinking about. Why did he hang himself he had a family a wife and a life going
on but he chose to die so that’s disappointing even for me and the other thought was that I was wondering if
my mom did it because I heard them arguing but maybe or maybe not but I know my mother she didn’t do it so
its ridiculous thought I know it have been a big question on my mind while I was sitting at my neighbor’s
house.
I wanted to get out but they didn’t let me, even though they think I don’t know what happened. now I know
something am not going out because they kept me there all day, now it’s getting darker and darker now it’s time to get
back home this time they let me out and I was going home but it’s too much crowd sitting around, and they all wearing
black 🖤.
Too much people watching my steps and talking about me saying” it’s his child am sorry for him”. And still going to the
living room and the funeral ceremony is over my dad is buried. No as the country tradition they are talking laughing and
playing games to cheer up the family I was surprised cause it’s my first time watching this type of ceremony. Suddenly I
found my mom at the kitchen preparing food for the guests I didn’t want to bother her so I went to my bed room and I
started thinking about my dad’s last memories, the last time we spent together and it was unforgettable.
One’s dear friend told me, “Do not try to forget your pain fully for the moment give it some time and look back
and deal with it one day when you remember it then my friend that will be a great lesson to you” and I love this
quote by the way just wanted to share you this cause maybe you need it one day.
Now the dinner ceremony is about to begin, someone is walking to my bedroom slowly I can hear the steps walking
slowly like a spy that want to steal something, the sound is getting closer and closer the sound looks like a solid brick
hitting the ground I was so frightened. But I got an idea to hide under the bed and when that man or thing comes to
grab his leg and to bite him until he shouts. And yeah, what do you expect from 7-year-old kid to do it was the only thing
that came to my mind. And finally, he got to my room as I planned am waiting to the right time to strike biting his leg
until he tells me who he is. Now am under my bed filled with fear, waiting the right moment he started getting closer to
me. Looks like he is checking out my room looking at the class walls. And finally, I jumped off and bite his leg he shouted
even though he is shouting am still biting his leg. Then my uncle came to the room he saw what I was doing he started
laughing he couldn’t stop. He pulled me of his leg and still I didn’t the face of that man I bite, to be honest I enjoyed the
moment when he was shouting. I saw his face and am shocked the man I bite was, well I didn’t expect that it was
something new.
He was my uncle John my father’s brother. Am embarrassed, I couldn’t see his face. What I did was so unforgettable,
after that he came to me his face is looks like he will hit me with a punch on the face he came and sit’s near me and
hugged me, well I wasn’t expecting this to happen he told me “no matter how hard life would be you could be the light
for who lost hope a bright future or those who can’t believe in their selves a protector for those who are in need a wing
for who needs help “ and he said “son I know how you are feeling it’s hard he is my brother too am sad to lose him but
child be strong “ but the most thing that touched my heart is that when he told me “nothing is permanent in this life,
even our shadow leaves us when it’s dark son you got to be strong okay I will be here whenever you need me I will have
your and your mom’s back “ when I heard this I couldn’t stop crying the word hit me right in the heart I run to my room
the only thought I got is to pray to God then I prayed” the all mighty God am not here to ask you to much questions but
I just want to ask you if my dad is doing good with you I really miss him could you show me his face please and another
thing I will be happy if you gave me 2 chocolates for my upcoming birthday thank you and amen” wow really sucks huh I
still laugh when remember this it’s part of my life.
4|Heaven of my thoughts
Today is Wednesday it’s time to me to get back to school so I won’t miss class. My dad is not here so it’s on me to go to
school by myself. Wow this responsibility thing is getting bigger.
And then I got to school but something was off than usual everyone was looking at me like stranger walking to the
school. It was normal to me this happens every time I go to school. Then I heard the bell it’s time to get to class, and we
started learning and one by one the teachers came to me and they told me they feel sorry to my loss it wasn’t a big deal to
me, so I was waiting to my bestie to cheer me up cause my mood wasn’t right, it’s time for a break and am going to say hi
to my bestie and I don’t know why he didn’t seem happy to see me. Then I heard he got a new friend so hi pissed me off.
Wow these hearts more than any loss to heartbreaks at once, well the wonders are just beginning. Like always sitting
alone cause the person I thought he was my bestie betrayed me. Sitting alone is great by the way, you will get closer to
yourself it gives you time to speak to your inner self.
This is where I got my overthinking experience now am grade 12 students with over thinking and observing skills. We
will have fun I hope you will enjoy it my journey is just beginning this 6 years a lot happened, to many to remember, big
lessons I learned and good friends I got now my friends am grade 8 student and little bit shy and yeah am a teenager now
enjoy the journey I hope you will have a great time with me enjoy it.
5|Heaven of my thoughts
Chapter 2
H
Heaven of my thoughts
Ello it’s me again sorry we didn’t have a proper meeting, my name is Variopa and nice to meet you
too.
Now you know my story and you’re probably wondering what could come out of this boring life
okay well that’s what we will see. Open up your eyes and ears maybe you will hear all the feelings I felt.
As I told you am Variopa and am living with my mom and my annoying brother and I forgot to tell you my
mother married another man and I have 1 sister I didn’t tell you about so we are 5 in this family today is …. I
really don’t remember the date so let’s get over it and let me show you around for some new changes happened
in past 6 years. Am 1.70cm now and I was 2nd grade student when my dad dies so after 6 years am grade 8
yeah still in elementary school but am enjoying it, that what I thought. Today is first school day of the year
and am expecting new students to meet maybe I could get a friend. I woke up early because I want be the first
one who gates class because who gets there first chooses a sit and I don’t want to be in front of the teacher so
am sitting at my favorite spot. I woke up early I washed my damn face and am heading to the school, the sun
looks soft and beautiful, the road is filled with students with their parents and am walking to the school with
my annoying brother, he is special, even the devil can’t make me this mad wow my bro is really good at this job,
he is 4th grade and still childish but I like him, he makes me feel like am the lucky one cause I have a bro like
him. Pls don’t tell him this.
I have a quite strange relationship with him sometimes we fight over a remote control and believe me that fight
goes to another level just like a wrestling but in the house and nobody is watching so it’s free, the part that I
like this when he tries to beat me and I hit him in the face then Habibi run he is mad now nothing makes him
forget that beautiful punch on the head even I run when I see that mad face. I have gone too far huh let’s get
back to the walking so I got to school first and as I expected am the first one so I got to choose my sit. After
choosing I felt lonely nobody got there yet and I wanted to meet my friends but they probably forgotten me so
no one cares now the students are coming one by one, I heard the school bell and everyone is getting to the class
I was sitting on my favorite spot alone but I heard someone is coming guess who, my crush her name is Fiona. I
saw her walking to the class she has this gorgeous smile even a serial killer won’t resist, she is beautiful as hell
my heart stopped for a moment, damn she looks like an Angle today. With that long hair, killer smile, and the
most beautiful eyes she smiled at me, wow Men I felt like am in heaven for a moment she is walking to the seat
beside me and it’s awkward for me. Man sitting beside your crush at the first day of school wow this is going
to be fun am loving this day…….
Fiona My Lovely Crush
Well, I don’t know why I don’t talk to her but her eyes, her smile tells me so say hi. I convinced myself now I
am prepared to talk to my angel, well technically she is not mine but I feel happy when I thing she is. Well
let’s get prepared she is coming towards her seat.
6|Heaven of my thoughts
She is sitting alone I decided to go, but what should I say to her first Oh my God it’s hard am sitting still the
break time will be over soon so I should say something. Getting closer to her table and I look so weird, finally I
said hi, but she didn’t even notice me, she is ignoring me well this is how do you want to play then let’s play I
don’t really know the reason am mad it’s not her fault maybe she didn’t hear me I should say it louder.
“Hey Fiona how are you”, I said with shaking sound I look so scared but surprisingly she looked at me on the
eyes and smiled and she said, “hey how are you”. now Variopa think about something to say don’t be silent,
then I said,” well that’s great to hear, you look like an angel today” Oh God why would I say this now she
heard me well run bro run I should run out and thank God, she didn’t hear me, I heard the bell now I should
get back to my sit the teacher is coming so I didn’t say any word. Going back to my sit and wondering what if
she heard what I said, probably she will give me a slap.
Well, it didn’t go well, my first impression wasn’t good I look like a weirdo. But that look she gave me when I
said hi is enough for me to smile all night until I meet her again.
It’s another day and I can’t lie I was really smiling all night remembering that beautiful smile, am going to
school, watching the street and it’s still as I remember it. It is a wonderful day I don’t know why but I think
it’s because of her smile. Okay so am getting in. sitting on my chair waiting for the teacher to come but I
suddenly turned to the back and noticed that she isn’t present. That was quite a shock and I felt sad cause I
didn’t see her today; the teacher began the lesson we started writing. I heard the door knocking am still sad I
don’t think it’s her so I continued to write and the door is still knocking the teacher told them to get in and the
first face I saw it’s not her there are at least 5 students are coming through the door and no one left. I was
writing and that’s when I heard her voice ooh God my heart is beating faster and faster wishing it is her
knocking the door.
Finally, it’s her I felt happy when I saw her and my friend looked at me and he is laughing at me because it
was a weird sound came out of me, it’s not his fault but now am embarrassed. Some one notices that I have a
crush on her.
I decided to ignore her until my friend forget the situation. So, I have that one secret place, it’s in the school
but no one go there except me. I am alone at my place thinking peacefully no on can bother me there it’s me and
my thoughts and little bit of overthinking but it’s good enough to make me busy. Today am planning to work
on new science project, thinking about something that I could make to win the competition. It’s not good
enough but makes me busy and happy next to Fiona’s smile.
Am still there thinking about something I don’t really know just overthinking about something that make me
busy for next 2 weeks before the big exam. And another day wasted without any achievement. Time to go home
as usual am going back to home but this time with my little bro.
Am finally home and my step father and my mom were home watching tv, I don’t love to sit with them so I go
out for a walk., I don’t know why but when I see my mom and her husband, I feel sad cause I remember that
moment when my real dad died and that memory comes to my mind every time, I hear the word dad.
The surprise
Its time to get back home from my walk, I feel refreshed when I go for a walk and when I get back home it
comes al over again. I ate my dinner time to go to sleep. Am in my room preparing to sleep but I heard hard
7|Heaven of my thoughts
voice, it looks like someone has fallen from sky and it was strange and so loud and I tried to see who is there,
well I can’t believe what I saw….
I saw something off than usual, it was quite surprising and I never expected anything like this, what I saw
was a man holding a big gun moving towards the door. Am looking through a little hole under the door I still
hear his breath, like he is going to burn the house I accidentally dropped my pen.
I think he heard me oo my God I should hide. The foot steps are getting closer and stronger. like I used to I
hide under my bet so that no one couldn’t find me. The man started trying to open the door am so terrified
thinking about what he would do if he succeeded opening that door. It looks like he did it, he opened the door
with just one try. He is coming to the living room and am still under my bed. Should I worn them or run out of
the house I have two choices, well then this is the game kill or be killed.
I started to make a plan to his that Thief in the head, so my plan was to start shouting near him so when he
comes to get me my parents will hear my voice and they will come to rescue me, well the plan was to be a
warning alarm but it could have some risks. What if they heard me but they didn’t come wow Variopa then
you will be dead. What if I sacrifice my self to let hem live, wow finally a great idea to take action, as they say
“we die so that others could live”.
I will count until 5 and start to fight face to face with him, and he will probably kill me. Maybe my [parents
should know what happened so I started to write a letter of I think it’s a death wish but anyways I did it and
counting to start the fight 1
2
3
4
5, here we go running towards him to hit him with a
spoon. Yeah, I know you’re probably thinking really men with a spoon but that’s all I got using the asset I
have.
Running to that man to hit him and he saw me running oh my God should I get back or fight until I die.
Fighting is the best option. Now he turned his back it’s my chance let’s go. I hit him in the head then when I
uncovered his face…... I heard my mom trying to wake me up for school. I woke up before I see his face,
disappointment isn’t it at least I faced my fear it was protecting my family and I too the risk that’s what
matters am happy with it and am thankful it’s just a dream.
The rejection
Today I decided to tell Fiona how I feel about her it’s little scary but live is short I must take risks.am walking
near her seat no one is in the class so it’s my shot I will do it I believe in myself. And that’s when I saw her
smiling at me and I turned back and I got out of the class running I don’t know why did run out but it was so
confusing.
I told a friend what I was going to do and I went to my spot to think about it and to have some fresh air.
When I got back, I saw everybody in the class smiling at me like something happened on my face. I went to the
mirror and I didn’t see anything off than usual everything is normal, so what is it, what made them laugh
when they see me if there is nothing on my face. Wait a minute Fiona ignored me, yeah I thing you figured that
out guys it’s that little carrot head, he told everybody that I have a crush on Fiona, she ignored me because of
him.
Variopa it’s time to talk to her maybe she will tell you something, I didn’t and I asked her what’s wrong and
she looked at me with that little picnic mad face and said “hey you let me tell you something I heard what you
think about me and thank you by the way but I don’t want this childish game of yours, you are definitely not
8|Heaven of my thoughts
my type go find some one you play with kid”. wow a strong word that hits on the heart. I felt sad that day like
the world turned its back on me I didn’t say a word I vanished from her face and run to my spot. I admit that
I cried but no one saw me so it doesn’t count she broke my heart with hard heartbreaking words. What should
I do now even the person I value the most doesn’t love me back. that’s what I missed lonely life with nothing
to show but this time with a broken feeling. I decided to stay silent in the school just nothing to talk about
they are all just players who play with people’s feelings. What a measurable day. I got back home and slept
until the morning feeling sad lonely and broken. I have this little habit when I feel sad or when someone rejects
me, I change my personality to silent and the bad person character yeah in the other way I turn my self into a
demon who don’t like to feel happy around fake peoples.
I just wis this hell ends soon I don’t want to see this people again.
The last day at school
9|Heaven of my thoughts