S1 (Transcription): Anjali Sharma
28.01.22 CU session part 2
https://youtu.be/P9nHuPRT_B4
Questioner (Q): Pranam Acharya ji, in this moment I actually kind of forgot a bit of my
question because I was just thinking to myself. So, I would like to say something first about
these verses, ever since I've been studying these Upanishads with you, I don't think I've seen
any other more beautiful form of poetry which is logical. It’s perfect, it’s like it meets the
two worlds which in our material world they never meet, and I am sometimes odd and I
momentarily forgot my question. So, my question was regarding, we were talking about lack
of sureness and when it reaches its peak. So, over time with the study of Upanishads I have
lost my sureness. I used to be very sure of things earlier and slowly and slowly I have been
losing it, and every time somebody asks me something or rather, not somebody, I mean like
- the world proposes something to me - there is a stimulus; instead of jumping onto the
bandwagon - which I used to do earlier - I'm just, I find myself hesitating, dealing postponing
or not taking the action immediately. From what I understand from your teachings, I think
that seems to be a progressive sign. However, I have two suspicions (A): Is this inertia and
unwillingness to do the right thing, which I'm calling of like, which I'm, you know, hiding in
the form of lack of action due to lack of surety? And (B): My second suspicion is that, this
seems to be continuing since a long time, so does the lack of sureness also come with a
complimentary clarity with it?
Acharya Prashant (AP): The lack of sureness comes with a reduction in the need to be sure.
Why do you need sureness in the first place, because the ego is big and insecure big time,
the bigger the ego is, the bigger is the need for sureness. Now the decrease in sureness in
the spiritual process comes obviously with a corresponding decrease in the very need to be
sure in the first place. You start developing a taste for uncertainty, after a point, you in fact
start relishing uncertainty. You kind of start getting bored if things are too predictable, that's
a sign of spiritual progress. You're no more afraid of unplanned things, you are not too
concerned that things must go your thought-out way, right? So, the very fellow within who
used to clamour so much for certainty is now falling silent, right?
(Q): There's a vacuum created now and I sometimes feel uncomfortable with this vacuum
(AP): No, that vacuum is a kind of joy. You are probably still a bit suspicious of that vacuum,
try it out there are gems in that vacuum, and that's a contradiction, the vacuum containing
gems, try it out. Vacuum also means a clean, pure space; a clean pure space is good to have,
don't you like it? It takes a bit of time to get accustomed, even to Purity, slowly that will
happen.
(Q): It feels good, it goes against every grain of my condition.
(AP): It seems good but it doesn't seem familiar.
(Q): Yes.
(AP): When goodness will outweigh, the urge for familiarity, then you'll fall in love.
(Q): Namaste Acharya ji, the question now…the first question I wanted to ask is, I think you
just answered now or I don't know it's like, before I used to ask lot of questions when I
started with you. I used to have so many questions, so enthusiastic, but now I sit with the
enthusiasm, and follow, and listen to you. But again that, when it comes to questioning, like
always I'm postponing or thinking - okay it's answered - so like where I am in this place I
listen to all your sessions, I'll be there. But while comparing, like for myself from earlier
stage, I was like so many questions, so many answers that really helped me, so it's, I thought
this is the first thing I'll ask, like whether I'm falling backward or…?
(AP): Only you can answer that, you know both the things are actually possible. One could
be so resistant-less that one has no clarifications to seek, or there could be a resistance one
seeks to protect and therefore one doesn't want to expose it. So both the things are
possible, it's not really necessary that one keeps asking questions repeatedly, so if there are
no questions for a while that's not necessarily a bad omen, Equally it's probably better to err
on the side of excessive questioning, when in two minds to ask or not to ask, it's better to
ask, right? Equally what I'm saying is, if for a period, one doesn't feel like speaking or asking
or sharing, it's not necessarily something problematic, right?
(Q): And the follow-up one, it's right now like, the stage I am in, it's like any conflict - like in a
day-to-day activities - it's not being like a conflict, like maybe I'm finding quick answers in the
system that I'm living in. So the conflicts are not like withholding, not burning flame where I
have to find an answer for this, or something it's really holding, like just now you mentioned
like in the introduction, like about rejecting bondages so the conflicts are so light where,
quickly like, maybe like, within a few hours or within a day I'm finding the answers, but the
constant unrest underneath, the constant unrest like with no specific conflict or no specific
reason that is there, which I did not have like few years ago. Like a noticeable constant
unrest without any specific…the things that needs to be resolved in my day-to-day things or
some not with anyone outside uh as long as I'm awake um if I really have to go and see what
is this unrest there a maybe the small minor things that are being resolved so quickly that's
not affecting me anything directly where I'm finding answers so my question here is whether
somewhere I'm finding myself answers to uh resolve the conflict where I'm not really
sticking to the conflict and seeing what is there but again like it's not that peace it's not uh
and it's not anything worry too
(AP): if there is unrest and there are repeated instances you said it's continuous
(Q): that unrest is continuous but if I look that subtle subtle so subtle and if I see what is this
unrest about where maybe uh I cannot point out it is this that needs to be done like done
with the world if
(AP): it can be experienced it can be explored if you can experience the unrest you can go
right till its route somewhere you are stopping there is some obstacle typically it's fear if you
can experience it and you say you are experiencing it continuously that actually is a good
sign it means it's available for observation 24 hours right there is something in your house
that keeps making irritating noises right it's there in the house and the noise is continuously
present in the backdrop it doesn't emit that noise only periodically it's continuous you want
to catch that thing would it be too difficult
(Q): uh like if if I clearly look if I look uh like in a very quiet meditative way okay what is this
very few things like very few conflicts like that doesn't affect me directly um like maybe my
daughter did not submit a homework that means that's an example very minute things only
those I can pick up but not like anything directly affecting me or bothering me uh so that I
have
(AP): then then the answers that you are providing yourself are not the real answers that's
not the real cause of unrest see it would be easy for me to just say that uh this is adhyatmik
tap yeah Vidant tells us that there is a final unrest within that has no real or discernable
worldly reason there is tap trie three kinds of discomforts or suffering and out of these three
the last one is supposed to have no clear material reason so it would be tempting for me to
say that what you are experiencing is just uh a discomfort without cause but that's a very
rare thing and that's actually the final thing because once you come to that stage where the
the hollow that you experience the restlessness that you experience has really no material
reason then from that point Liberation is imminent so I'll be careful in in accepting that uh
there is no cause you can uh put your finger on right now I would rather like to suggest that
there would be a cause it's more likely that you are not admitting or acknowledging that
cause
(Q): or maybe I'm giving too quick of the answer saying that uh it's not my life that's okay
they'll take care of or something like that so maybe somewhere I could see the conflicts but
before it could really burn me down or really go into that action the quickly answers
whether the answers are true for themselves or I'm escaping um okay and also like um being
(AP): Quick answers are anyway generally not right and in your case had they been right
then you would have been able to touch the core of your restlessness which according to
you is still elusive so you will have to explore more fearlessly and first of all discount all that
is available to be discounted and after that the discomfort that remains is a very pure
discomfort and it's a welcome thing because that discomfort is with the very existence of
internal structures when you come to that discomfort I said Liberation unfolds very quickly
(Q): like earlier there used to be a clear distinction Acharya ji okay this needs to be done or
this is the problem and there used to be the happiness of this thing settled down too but it's
like maybe I'm escaping somewhere
(AP): there will be probably some uncomfortable answers that you need to face and you'll
face those answers when you will realize that the discomfort in facing those answers is
smaller than the discomfort in evading those answers
(Q): thank you Acharya ji so maybe I'll just stick here and uh just
(AP): yes more fearlessly more fearlessly more sharply with more determination and more
sureness that answers are there answers are there and you need to just dig them out
(Q): one clarification here Acharya ji is that answers whether through escaping I'm giving the
answers to myself so that the conflict will not be in my mind for long or uh um this is what
it's happening with me for the past one week and debating whether without giving answers I
should be only with the conflict like how small or how big it is because the answers are
coming so quick and maybe I'm escaping in that way answers again myself coming quick in
the sense where I'm just letting go of the conflict or that's okay they'll figure it out or
(AP): I don't really know what it means to be just be with the conflict one has to have a
penetrative insight into what's going on just being with the conflict May often mean
indirectly patronizing and nourishing the conflict you're allowing it to happen you're
allowing to continue and exist in the name of I don't know what kind of coexistence or you
know the witnessing kind of thing that people talk of the thing exists and I just keep looking
at it
(Q): conflict in the sense is day-to-day things like with the people around me like with the
family members or in the society not exactly conflict but it's a a little bit of uh discomfort
and again the answer is so quick it is it is nothing affecting me personally it's not my life so
just let it go so this this part it's making the thing
(AP): what if you what if you don't let it go and what if you actively try to interfere
(Q): try to interfere then I have to then um they the botheration like okay why are they
doing that
(AP): that's exactly there will be there will be consequences okay and that's what that's what
is preventing you probably I don't know you have to find out that's what probably what is
preventing you from exploring further
(Q): by not acting on the conflict and just
(AP): obviously if you know something as untruthful and you allow it to peacefully coexist
with you how can you be at rest but challenging it entails risks and uh fear forbids us from
taking risks so we let the restlessness Fester
(Q): thank you Acharya ji maybe um a little bit thought into this and maybe something
comes (AP): most welcome most welcome