Randa Qatanani Mr. Frangella AP Language and Composition 17 February 2021 The Perplexing Philosophy of Love Love is not an easy thing to achieve. Love can be interpreted in many different ways. Love is something everyone wants to feel at least once in their life. However, when one is asked, how do they want to be loved, they aren’t able to give one concrete answer. Some may question, well why is that? It’s because love isn’t just one thing. Love seems easy as it is presented in movies as so ideal, yet it is nothing like that. Many believe that love is physical and shouldn’t be given to everyone, but truly, love should be greatly incorporated into every relationship because it is being able to accept someone even with all their flaws and doing the little unnecessary, yet valuable things for them. It can be hard to love someone as the key to loving is primarily to accept someone with their many flaws. Love is a principal in many relationships, whether it is with a special partner, a friend, or a family member. Everyone isn’t perfect. It is very rare to know someone who has not a single flaw in them. What makes people beautiful is their little flaws, however; these flaws aren’t accepted by everyone unless love is involved, “Not a red rose or a satin heart. I give you an onion.”…. “I’m trying to be truthful” (Source I). Clearly love isn’t always pretty, it has layers to it like an onion. The first layer might be good, but by peeling it there might be even more treasures or even flaws in every layer, and that’s what makes love so addicting. Sometimes in order to love someone, it is important to accept them for who they are. Love in the movies can seem very unrealistic with all its romance and happiness. Love can’t always be faultless like Jack and Rose in the Titanic. Love is hard to attain for many people as they always end up setting these idealistic versions of love that leave them with very high standards. Yet the practical version of love isn’t anything like that. Love can be messy, and in order to ever be fully satisfied, the love between two people must be unconditional tolerance. There might be some things people hate about each other, yet they learn to tolerate it and embrace it to live in a stress free, delightful life. This is necessary and must be incorporated in all relationships because no matter who, there will always be something to resent about them, yet to be able to have a normal conversation, love needs to be embedded to fulfill sympathy and tranquility. Family member, partner, or friend, love needs to be immersed within these relationships in order to accept them and their flaws, “So, the acceptance of ourselves as flawed creatures seems to me what love really is” (Source K). Many people start to grasp onto love when they are at their weakest, their ugliest, and when they are the most incomprehensible. This leads people to find many unpredicted things about the person they love that they didn’t sign up for. These things must be taken little by little as these flaws are what make people the fragile beings they are, and thus, they must be taken with care. Learning to comprehend someone’s flaws and disregard them to see their better potential, that’s what love is. It isn’t like the movies, nothing is perfect. Love is unpredictable, and that’s why people must adapt to it in any form, with any human being. Love isn’t only accepting someone’s flaws, but it is also the actions done to show the aspect of love. Loving someone isn’t always just sweet whispers in the ear, they also can be shown in small actions done to make someone’s life easier, “We would have a healthier conception of love if we understood that love, like parenting or friendship, is a feeling that expresses itself in action. What we really feel is reflected in what we do” (Source A). What do Mother’s Day, Valentine’s Day, and friendship day all have in common? Well, in all three of these, people bring their mothers, lovers, and friends a little gift to show them that they appreciate them. Without saying much, bringing a box of chocolates to someone may truly show how much love is being handed to them. Love can be shown in many different ways, and one of the most important of those ways is through action. Washing clothes, or cooking meals, these little chores can also show love, “it is when one person believes in another person and shows it” (Source A). Love is explaining this unconditional feeling in someone’s heart through these efforts. It is not about being selfish, rather being selfless. Doing these small activities that don’t seem important, yet are actually very significant. This is one thing the movies do get right. Drawing a lover and handing the picture to them such as what is done in the Titanic, is a sweet act that can fully present someone’s love. Love is hard to explain, and that’s why in many different relationships, with different people, it is presented in various types of ways that bring that little spark of dopamine to someone. Many may believe that love is only physical, however; love is precisely completing someone. While physical affection can bring happiness and people may believe it to be love. Of course to have a healthy relationship, there would have to be some type of physical affection, “The amount of NGF (nerve growth factor) in the body directly relates to the intensity of romantic feelings” (Source C). Clearly the brain also reacts largely to having physical affection. It makes people fall more in love as they discover more things about each other. It is a part of loving a special someone so deeply. However, it is not what defines love. Love is being able to understand and accept someone fully to the point that they are able to absolutely complete each other with no hesitation. Like a puzzle piece, finishing each other (Source D). Allowing one to fully immerse themselves into someone and understand them to the most powerful extent is what love is. Physical affection at the end of the day won’t last long. However, love through finishing one's thoughts and allowing them to feel safe, will leave a long lasting effect for both sides. Feeling safe is much more irresistible than feeling pleasure for a couple minutes, maybe hours. Sometimes seeing someone’s demons and not judging them, but understanding them is a lot more heartwarming. This is what love is, fulfilling someone through completing them with all their complex ways of life and thoughts. In the end, love cannot be defined in one word. Love may seem even unattainable at some points. However, love can be achieved, and it can even be done very well with long lasting effects. Loving someone, wholeheartedly, whether it is a family member, a friend, a lover, is very important as it allows two people to understand each other, and do little things for each other that will bring both parties happiness. Allowing oneself to feel a little vulnerable with someone, allows for healthier and stronger relationships with stronger bonds. Love is not perfect like what is shown everyday on television and in the movies. Love is not always ideal, and it can’t always only be shown through physical attraction only. While it is still a part of the process of loving someone, it is not what it is all about. It is much more demanding than that. Effort needs to be put into love for it to be complete, and that’s what ultimately defines love.
