Briefing
NEWS 11
Love in the time of algorithms
Since the turn of the century, online dating has transformed how people meet each other and fall in love
When was online dating invented?
to support dating sites’ claims about the
Matchmaking services of one kind or
precision of their matching algorithms:
another have been around for a long
the business of long-term compatibility
time. Britain’s first known lonely hearts
remains mysterious. On the other hand,
ad appeared in 1695, from a man in
algorithms have proved good at ranking
search of “a good young gentlewoman”.
their customers’ attractiveness, and
Marriage agencies, run by clergymen,
pairing them up accordingly. When you
appeared in the 18th century. By the
first join Tinder, for instance, your profile
early 1900s, matrimonials – newspapers
is shown widely and prominently. The
devoted entirely to those looking for a
response you get is then used to give an
spouse – were common. Computerised
Elo score: a desirability rating based on
services, offering to pair likely couples,
a scoring system first used to rank chess
entered the game in the 1960s. Online
players. This then determines the profiles
dating began when Match.com went live
that Tinder will offer you.
in 1995: for the first time, people could
browse profiles of hundreds of potential
So you’re objectively assessed?
mates in the comfort of their own homes.
Yes. Dating services have to smooth out
By 2001, the website had two million
supply and demand. In the younger age
users, and it remains the world’s most
Tinder: matched eight billion potential couples by 2015 groups, there’s a surplus of men; in the
widely used dating site.
older age groups, there’s a surplus of
women (since older single men often seek younger women). The
How popular is online dating today?
technology has to ensure that certain people – usually attractive
Very. The exact figures are hard to quantify, but since the turn
women – don’t get all the attention. “In a bar, it’s self-correcting,”
of the century, online dating has emerged as one of the main
says Christian Rudder, a founder of OkCupid. “You see ten guys
ways that people meet their partners (the others are via school or
standing around one woman, maybe you don’t walk over and
university, work, friends and family). Surveys suggest that at least
try to introduce yourself. Online, people have no idea how
20% of British adults have dated online – some six million every
‘surrounded’ a person is.” Even on sites where people express
month. In the US, a University of Chicago study found that 35%
detailed preferences, these are often ignored if their behaviour
of people marrying between 2005 and 2012 had met online
gives a more reliable guide to what they really want. For instance,
(though that includes those meeting on social media or online
people may say they have no racial preference for their partners,
forums). Online dating has grown fast since then, thanks to
while clearly choosing one ethnic group over others.
mobile apps aimed at younger people. Tinder, the biggest of these,
launched in 2012; by 2015 it had matched more than eight billion How is online dating changing society?
potential couples. Social groups that face what one study called
Romantic partners used to come overwhelmingly from within
“a thin market for potential partners”, such as gay people and
our existing social networks. But the internet forms links between
middle-aged heterosexuals, are especially likely to meet partners
people whose paths would otherwise never have crossed, creating
online. By 2010, 70% of US gay couples were meeting online.
a society that is rapidly integrating. While causation is impossible
to prove, the rate of interracial marriages, for instance, has
How do online dating services work?
increased sharply this century. And now that the stigma around
Websites such as Match.com, OkCupid and eHarmony use
online dating has greatly reduced, it will presumably continue
detailed questionnaires covering everything from income to
to grow – eHarmony thinks that over 50% of couples will meet
political views to hair colour and exercise habits. Using profiling
online by 2031. The long-term effects are likely to be seismic.
algorithms (Match takes into account 1,500 variables), they offer
you suitable matches. Apps, though,
Has it changed relationships?
are simpler: they are largely descended
The University of Chicago’s study
The etiquette of online dating
from Grindr, the app designed to link
suggested that relationships begun
Online dating has developed its own rules and codes,
gay men with others in the area. On
online were 25% more likely to last;
and at the centre of it is the profile: the curated,
most apps, you set location (i.e.
stylised version of yourself that you project to potential however, other researchers have
partners. Photos are all-important. “Look like someone reached the opposite conclusion.
“up to ten miles from me”), age and
you’d want to meet,” advises eHarmony; posing with a Academics generally agree, though,
gender. You’re then presented with a
dog is sometimes advised, to show a caring side. But
series of profiles, showing photos and
on one point: the huge pool of
for men seeking women, height also seems to be
usually some career and education
prospective partners on the internet
crucial: it is often included with no other information at
information. You swipe right if you
poses a real problem for commitment.
all. Women rarely mention their own height, but
like the look of someone, and left if
The Association for Psychological
frequently specify the height they want in a partner.
you don’t. If you both swipe right, you
Science argues that reviewing multiple
On dating apps, men are much more likely to swipe
match, and can message each other.
candidates makes us more inclined to
yes indiscriminately, in the hope of matching with
Endless variations on these two basic
whoever will have them and figuring out later if they’re dismiss not-quite-perfect candidates
models are available (many owned by
in a way that we wouldn’t if we met
actually interested; women tend to do the opposite.
the huge Match group). Bumble only
them, say, spontaneously at a party;
Male behaviour is often less than gentlemanly: the
unsolicited “dick pic” is an inexplicably common
lets women make the first move;
and that it is harder to work through
practice, along with the charming acronym “DTF”
Toffee is for the privately educated;
difficult moments in a marriage when
(down to f***), not to be confused with “DDF” (drug
Bristlr is for those who have beards
the promise of endless new partners
and disease free). But men and women, it seems, are
or love them; Ashley Madison is for
is just a click away. Indeed, it would
both likely to lie. OpinionMatters found that 44% of UK
those seeking extramarital sex.
suit the industry – which generates
daters admit to lying in their profiles. OkCupid found
annual revenue of about $2bn in the
that men exaggerate their income by 20% and their
Is the technology effective?
US alone – if people were to carry on
height by two inches. And a 2015 survey found that
Social scientists have repeatedly found
using its products, rather than doing
around 30% of Tinder users were actually married.
that there is no compelling evidence
so just the once.
28 July 2018 THE WEEK