Anger
Management
Anger Control Strategies From
a Christian perspective
Introduction
ANGER
THE EMOTION MOST HARMFUL
TO RELATIONSHIPS
“Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for
anger resides in the lap of fools”
Ecclesiastes 7: 9
“If you are patient in one moment of anger, you
will escape one hundred days of sorrow”
Chinese Proverb
WHAT IS ANGER?
• Anger is an emotion (a strong feeling).
It does not necessarily cause
aggression, but aggression is more likely
to occur when one is angry.
• A certain type of anger is acceptable:
“In your anger, do not sin” (Eph. 4: 26).
• However, anger is never defensible
when it causes harm—to oneself or to
others.
HOW DOES IT WORK?
• Anger, like any emotion, causes physiological
changes in the heart rate, blood pressure,
and levels of adrenaline and noradrenaline.
It produces great inner turmoil.
• Anger may be a reaction to:
–
–
–
–
Another person (spouse, boss, child, neighbour)
Self (forgot something, made a mistake)
Circumstance (weather, traffic jam, loss)
Memories (past trauma, past embarrassment)
ANGER REVEALS ITSELF AT THREE LEVELS:
PHYSIOLOGICAL, COGNITIVE, AND BEHAVIORAL
• THE PHYSIOLOGICAL:
ANGER REVEALS ITSELF—LEVEL 2
• THE COGNITIVE: When we are
angry, our thinking becomes
irrational and distorted,
negative, and focused on what is
making us angry.
ANGER SHOWS ITSELF—LEVEL 3
• BEHAVIOR. Anger may be revealed in various ways.
We may become flushed and shaky, and raise our
voice, slam doors, or say nasty, hurtful things. In
the most extreme manifestation, the angry person
becomes violent, screaming at others, kicking
objects or pets, and hitting people—with fists or
any handy weapon.
THE NEGATIVE IMPACT OF
ANGER ON RELATIONSHIPS
• RELATIONSHIPS: When anger is
frequent or intense, it will inevitably
harm relationships. Connections
with family, friends and neighbors
THE ANGER CYCLE
Situation:
A driver cuts you off
in traffic
Thought: You
idiot!!!
Behaviour:
Shout, aggression—
physical or verbal.
Emotions: Rage,
Symptoms:
Accelerated heart rate,
muscular tension, tremor,
rapid breathing
fury, anger
ANGER IN RELATIONSHIPS
• The chart shows: Situation  Thoughts 
Emotions  Symptoms  Behavior
• Most anger management techniques will
focus on “Situations” or on “Thoughts” in
order to prevent the last and most dangerous
parts of the chain—“Symptoms” and
“Behavior.”
Techniques to
Manage Your
Anger
ANGER
WARNING SIGNS
IDENTIFYING TRIGGERS
What are the people, places, or situations that
trigger your irritable or angry feelings?
•
•
•
•
•
•
Certain time of day
Traffic
Being hungry or tired
When it is hot/cold
Other ______________
Other ______________
IDENTIFY THOUGHTS
What are the thoughts that cause angry feelings in
you? For example, When I think of…
•--My wasted opportunities in the past.
•--Mr. -------’s unreliable nature.
•--The hurts that my old friend caused me.
•--______________
IDENTIFY THOUGHTS
Generally, the following are dangerous
thoughts that lead to anger and explosion:
 Overgeneralizing
 Obsessions
 Mind reading and jumping to conclusions
IDENTIFY THOUGHTS
Generally, the following are dangerous
ways of thinking that may lead to angry
behavior:
•Collecting “straws”
•Blaming
SIGNS, TRIGGERS AND THOUGHTS…
• It is very important to identify anger’s
signs, triggers and thoughts; otherwise,
they will take the lead and we will be
driven by them. However, identifying
them is insufficient; we need to learn to
do something about them.
WHAT TO DO?
Avoiding triggers is ideal, but many triggers
cannot be avoided, such as boss, school, traffic,
friends, peer pressure, etc. Here are two useful
strategies:
• Breathe!
• Count!
MORE STRATEGIES
• Talk to yourself
• Talk to the Lord
MORE STRATEGIES
• Create a mental picture of the
consequences.
• Create a mental picture of spiritual
imagery.
MORE STRATEGIES
“Thought Stopping.” Thoughts leading to anger
come in chains. As soon as an early link in the
chain appears:
•Say “STOP!”
•Intentionally drop the idea from your mind
•Distract yourself.
BEST TIMING
The apostle says: “Do not let the sun go
down on your wrath.” Ephesians 4: 26
HOW TO FACE ANGER
(SUMMARY)
STRATEGIES
Early detection
Know the signs, triggers, and circumstances to calm
yourself down on time
Take a break
Leave the situation (“I’ll be back in a moment”).
Vigorous physical activity can work wonders.
Breathing
Slowly breathe in and breathe out (at least 4 seconds
each)
Focus on the positive
Express positive qualities and gratitude towards
others
Think of consequences
What will it happen if I blow up? Now? Later on?
Tomorrow?
Cling onto the Lord
We need Jesus to prevent anger and to channel those
feelings positively
Biblical Example of Anger:
3. David – I Samuel 25:2-42
When David’s young men came, they
spoke to Nabal according to all these
words in David’s name; then they
waited. 10 But Nabal answered David’s
servants and said, “Who is David? And
who is the son of Jesse? There are
many servants today who are each
breaking away from his master.
9
- I Samuel 25:9-10
11
Shall I then take my bread and my water and my
meat that I have slaughtered for my shearers, and
give it to men whose origin I do not know?” 12 So
David’s young men retraced their way and went
back; and they came and told him according to all
these words. 13 David said to his men, “Each of
you gird on his sword.” So each man girded on his
sword. And David also girded on his sword, and
about four hundred men went up behind David
while two hundred stayed with the baggage.
- I Samuel 25:11-13
May God do so to the enemies of David,
and more also, if by morning I leave as
much as one male of any who belong to
him.”
- I Samuel 25:22
David
injustice
Anger
Frustration
insult
Punishment
SCENES
Working in groups,
discuss rational,
peaceful, and Christcentered solutions to
the following
situations:
SCENE 1
SCENE 1: I’m working hard to
complete all the tasks my boss has
asked me to do. I am in constant
activity. Yet he has come back three
times in the last 10 minutes to ask
me when I am going to finish.
SCENE 2
SCENE 2: My friend has kicked
me on purpose and I believe he
hates me personally. He also
ignores me and insulted me
recently
SCENE 3
SCENE 3: Discovered that someone I
trusted has lied to me, betrayed me
and broken trust despite I was so
polite to him
SCENE 4
SCENE 4: My wife is in charge of
doing laundry and ironing at our
house. Days ago I told her I
needed a clean and ironed dress
shirt for an important meeting
today. When I dressed this
morning, I had no ironed shirt.
THE GOLDEN RULE,
AN ANTIDOTE TO ANGER
So in everything, do to others
what you would have them
do to you, for this sums up
the Law and the Prophets.
Matthew 7:12