This is ​PART 1​ in the
How To Approach A Girl Series
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HI, I’M KSHITIJ SEHRAWAT
I'm the founder of Iron Man
Lifestyle.
I teach guys how to get better
with women and have
meaningful relationships, by
helping them overcome their
inhibitions and sharing proven methods that are guaranteed to get
results. At the same time being their natural and true self.
At Iron Man Lifestyle I talk about social dynamics, meeting women,
relationships, dating advice, personal development, inner work and
creating your dream lifestyle.
Want to learn from me?
Schedule a free call at
https://calendly.com/ironmanlifestyle/coaching
DISCLAIMER
The reader is advised that any advice, content, or teaching of Kshitij
Sehrawat / Iron Man Lifestyle shall be used at his own peril.
Kshitij Sehrawat/ Iron Man Lifestyle does not teach any person to
disobey any law of India.
The viewer is advised to read and understand the laws pertaining to
the protection of women in India, including under the Indian Penal
Code, Information Technology Act, Protection of Children from Sexual
Offences Act, and various Fundamental Rights of Privacy under the
Constitution.
However, Kshitij Sehrawat/ Iron Man Lifestyle does not assume any
legal responsibility for any advice, content, or teaching.
I started this ​channel​ and my coaching to help shy men overcome
their inhibitions to be able to talk to women and have meaningful
consensual relationships.
Consent is very important, and if the person in front of you does not
feel comfortable, and expresses the same either by actions, words, or
gestures, you should immediately back off and leave the
conversation.
HOW TO APPROACH A GIRL : 82 THINGS YOU CAN
SAY
You’re travelling to work in your local metro.
A beautiful woman, exactly your type is sitting next to you.
A voice in your head asks you to talk to her.
But, you’ve never been in such a situation before. Actually you have.
And it’s the same story every time. What do you even say.
“Maybe she is married. But, she does not have an engagement ring on
her hand. Phew!“
“I’ll tell her she looks cute. No. No. No. What if I offend her?”
“I’ll just ask her for the time. She’s reading her book. I don’t want to
disturb her.”
“Now, she’s listening to music. Even worse.”
“What should I say to her?”
The train comes to a halt and she gets up to leave.
“Excuse me.” She says. “You’re in the way.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.”
You move your legs and let her pass.
“I’ll definitely talk to her, if I ever see her again.” You think to yourself.
But then, you never see her again.
She’s gone.
Never to return.
Who are you lying to?
You had one chance. One chance of talking to a potential friend, a
lover, a girlfriend, a wife, a soulmate.
Your soulmate. Your girlfriend. Your future wife.
What if it was serendipity?
Well, you’ve blown your chance now.
What I have learnt is that The Universe does not give you anything in
your lap.
Things fall beside you, waiting for you to act. (Newton’s apple)
If you don’t, you’ve lost the opportunity forever.
All have been in such a situation. We’ve always wanted to talk to that
cute girl we see passing us by in the street, the gym or in our office.
But, never had the guts to go up and talk to her.
Even if we find the courage to go up to her, what do we even say?
This book will help you figure out what to say.
In this book, you will find 82 opening lines to break the ice and start a
conversation with someone.
Try and test these extensively to see which work for you and which
don’t.
HOW TO USE THIS GUIDE:
There’s no perfect line that you can say, to get the girl. The only
purpose of your first line is to help you start the conversation with her.
The best ones are the ones you create on the spot. That’s how I
created most of mine.
Be free to come up with your own things to say. That should be the
goal. Use these as ‘​fake it till you make it.​’ Till you have a better
understanding about talking to girls. After that, you’ll be coming up
with your own things you can say instantly and everything will flow
from there.
Pick 2-3 examples form below with which you resonate with the most.
See the results for yourself.
Keep using the ones which work.
As you get better with approaching people, start trying out the more
risky ones to improve your results and expand your comfort zone.
SOME POINTERS TO KEEP IN MIND:
● Follow the 3 second rule. Which states that you have to do your
approach within 3 seconds of seeing the girl. Approach her as
soon as you see her.
The more time you take to talk to her the worse the situation gets:
○ You get stuck in approach anxiety more and more. You start
rehearsing negative outcomes, that what all can go wrong.
○ The situation will get worse on its own logistically. Many times
a guy comes, her mom comes, someone calls, etc. Approach
instantly and,...
● Calibrate after the fact. Don’t think about what to say before
you’ve approached the girl. Say hi before everything else. And
then after you’ve gone in, think about where to take it now.
● Each and every example mentioned here has been tested for
extensively and works perfectly. In other words, anything works.
● It all depends on the way you say it. I prefer going in directly and
telling her that I find her cute/interesting/anything else that
strikes me about her and avoiding the bullshit. I know it sounds
crazy, but when done correctly, can work wonders.
Women want you to talk to them. Every woman knows what's up
when you go up to her in a bar. You’re not helping yourself by
being indirect and hiding your intentions.
That being said, you can go up indirectly to a woman, but still be
direct because of your charming personality.
The magic lies in your subcommunications- your non-verbals voice tone, body language, eye contact, passion, certainty,
energy, facial expressions.
● The goal of an opening line is to buy you enough time to display
your personality. As a result of which the group will want you to
stay and talk to them.
Remember, an opener will just get you in the gate. Use them to
break the ice. There is still a lot of conversation left after the
opener.
The opening line will not get her attracted to you.
But it will captivate her attention and buy you enough time to
display more of your personality and generate attraction.
So, if you’re still thinking of a magic line that will get you the
girl. STOP.
There is ​no​ such thing as a pickup line. That you can say and
magically hope the girl to get attracted to you enough to want to
sleep with you.
That does not happen. There’s no such thing as a line working. It’s
the vibe that you give out that is engaging.
A pick up line works for only one type of a person- a stand up
comic.
● Always follow up after saying the opening line.
A default thing to do right after is to introduce yourself. If you
have something better to say, go with it.
● Don’t rush while saying it. Maintain strong eye contact, hold your
ground and be certain.
Take adequate pauses while talking. Be calm, cool and collected.
Pauses tell the girl that you’re relaxed and confident.
We’ll talk more about this in the upcoming guides. ​Sign up here​ to
receive them directly to your inbox.
● Women are emotionally intelligent. They’re way more in touch
with their emotions than men usually are.
Which is why, it does not matter what you say but rather how you
say it. It’s all about how you make the girl feel.
Are you boring? Or are you fun and friendly?
Don’t try to look cool. You’ll come across as boring.
Rather, try being free and fun. Make her comfortable. Make her
have a great time. Take her through a roller coaster of emotions.
Now, let's dive straight into 82 things you can say when approaching
a girl for the first time.
1. DIRECT OPENER
“Hi, I think you're cute. I had to come say hi to you.
What’s your name?”
Confidence is key here to make this work. Don’t let your frame break.
Maintain strong eye contact and keep your feet firmly on the ground
when saying this. Be a boss. Be a true alpha.
Going direct is how I do my opens. It takes a lot of confidence to be
comfortable with yourself and go up to the girl and say that you find
her cute. She’ll appreciate you for it.
At the same time it’s one of the most congruent ways to open as
you’re saying what you have on your mind.
Masculine polarity is key here. Think about it like the 2 poles of a
magnet. And opposite poles attract. It’s not a choice.
Similarly, male and female are the two opposite poles. And like a
magnet, attraction is bound to happen between the two.
All you have to be is masculine.
So, focus on attracting women through masculinity and fun, rather
than excuses, gimmicks, or routines. Stop relying on them. Seriously.
You don’t need an excuse to talk to the girl. You’re a man and she is a
woman. What else do you need?
I know it’s not the norm and you’re thinking it’s weird. But, there is no
better way to start an interaction but by stating your intent clearly
right at the open. She should know what’s up.
Don’t keep her guessing. Failure to do this is why most men end up in
the friend zone.
To learn more about masculine polarity read ​The Way Of The
Superior Man by David Deida.
2. HI (SITUATIONAL OPENERS)
The best conversations are the ones which flow naturally. One of my
favourite things to do is just going up to the girl and saying Hi.
And then I take it from here by exercising my creativity. I don’t think
about what to say before.
I just stop her by saying “excuse me” or “Hi” (during the day).
Or lightly tapping her on the shoulder during the night.
And then follow up with anything that comes to my mind or I might
have noticed about her or the environment. For example,
“Hi. What are you drinking?”
“How tall are you?”
“You look like you’re an avid shopper.”
“I love your dress. What’s your name?”
This shows that you’re confident about yourself and can have a real
conversation with the girl.
These are one of the safest openers to start a conversation with. But
they don’t build any implicit attraction.
This is utilising your true natural personality. Where you can just flow.
You can be very creative with these.
You need to be fun and combine this with humour to make it work.
Feel the fun inside you and the girl will feel it too.
I’ve mentioned some openers for commonly occurring situations in
this ebook.
3. HAND OF GOD.
My default opener for while on the dance floor.
Lightly double tap the girl on the shoulder. Maintain strong eye
contact, stay grounded and give out your hand for her to take it. Let
her take it. (Don’t force her or grab her.) It’s like God’s hand reaching
from above for her.
Watch the video ​here.
Don’t worry if she acts all confused. Just stand your ground for a while
and then go in to say something to her.
What I like doing usually is that once she’s taken my hand, I lead her
to do a spin. You can come up with unlimited things to do after she
takes your hand. Use my suggestion or come up with your own.
A high number of my personal successes have come from this very
opener. It’s an absolute favourite. So, if you’re going to pick one
opener for the night use this.
4. FRIENDLY OPENERS.
“Hey, whatsup? What’s happening?”
Assume friendliness. Be comfortable and friendly while saying it. Like
how you would to a friend. We call this assuming familiarity, where
you act like you know her.
This follows the ​law of state transference. ​Which means that what
you feel inside of yourself, the girl will feel the same thing.
So, if you’re uncomfortable she will sense it and be uncomfortable as
a result.
If you think that the approach will not work and you get hesitant. She
will sense that and reject you as a result. It’s a self fulfilling prophecy.
Same way, if you’re comfortable and talk to a girl like you know her,
she will feel much more comfortable talking to you.
5. FUN OPENERS
The best openers are the ones in which you are really interested in
and have an element of surprise and fun in it.
Go up to her and in a fun vibe, ask her something ridiculous.
Like how you would say it to your friends when you’re in a bratty
mood (bakchod mood).
For example :
You: “Batao 2 aur 2, 5 kaise hote hain?”
Her: “What the fuck? Kabhi nahi hote.”
You: “Hote hain. Galti se. Hahahahaha”
Break into uncontrollable laughter. The key here is to find it genuinely
funny yourself. Be self-amused. Make yourself have fun. By the law of
state transference, she will get drawn into your vibe.
As with everything else, if you say this in a half-ass manner, when
you’re not sure about it, you will fall flat on your face.
Believe.
I genuinely find this funny, which is why the girls find it funny.
Anyway, who has the balls to go up to a girl and say something like
this? You do. So, do it.
6. CRAZY DANCE STEP.
Go up to the girl and say,
“I just learned a crazy dance step. Can you do this?”
Do a crazy dance step with retarded facial expressions. Something
like the running man.
Self-amusement is key here. You’re not there to get a reaction from
her. You’re there to pump your state by doing something crazy.
7. FUNNY FACIAL EXPRESSIONS
From a distance, make eye contact with the girl. As soon as she looks
at you, do a really funny facial expression. Think Mr. Bean or Jim
Carrey.
You’ll get a confused look initially. But don’t worry. Keep at it.
Do it around 3 times to get her laughing. Then when you get a smile
from her or even if she’s looking at you, wave at her and signal her to
come over.
You’ll have to be persistent in getting her to come to you. If she still
doesn’t, walk over to her and introduce yourself.
Boom. You’re in. Take it from here.
8. KAUN BANEGA CROREPATI OR WHO WANTS TO BE A
MILLIONAIRE OPENER.
This is a star opener. I came up with this when I was teaching
coaching in a mall in Delhi.
Me and a student walked up to 2 girls and in an overly enthusiastic
vibe said,
Me: “Welcome to Kaun Banega Crorepati (Who Wants To
Be A Millionaire is the American version). . . Today we’re
gonna play Kaun Banega Crorepati with you two. . .Which
host would you like to play with. . . Amitabh Bachchan (Me
acting like Big B). . . or Shahrukh Khan (my student acting
like SRK)?”
Girls (In an excited tone): “Umm, we want to play with
SRK.”
Me: “Batao 2 aur 2, 5 kaise hote hain?”
You could come up with any question you like. Just make sure it’s as
ridiculous as this one.
Girls: “Pata nahi.”
Me: “Galti se. Hahahaha.” *high 5*
We started bantering from there on and led the girls to Starbucks.
Boom. Insta date.
9. SCHOLAR NAINA.
If you see a girl wearing specs, walk up to her and say,
“Scholar Naina. In chasmo ko kaise bhul sakta hun?”
Say it with laser eye contact and a fun, flirty vibe. Like how Ranbir
Kapoor said it in ​Yeh Jawani Hai Deewani.
This works great because again, it’s fun. It separates you from the
crowd. It stimulates her emotions.
People have an innate desire to get entertained and to have fun. They
want an escape from their boring, mundane lives. They want to go
back to school. They want to live their college days again. They just
want to get away from here.
Be that escape. Be that experience. And she will never forget you for
that.
10. BOLLYWOOD OPENERS- “DON”
Great for cold approach. Also works great in social situations. Or
when a girl asks you your name.
Why these manage to work is the fun that you bring along with
yourself. Feel the fun within yourself first and then say it.
Many times I go up to women and introduce myself like-
“Hi. . . Don.”
Keep a straight face while doing that. Like your name really is, Don.
Take it from here.
Why this works?
When you say something ridiculous like “Don”, she knows that you’re
messing around with her. You become instantly fun.
Remember, looking cool is the enemy. If I ever have the choice of
choosing between good looks, confidence or being fun, I’ll always
choose to be fun.
People may forget you. But they never forget how you made them
feel.
This is why we love movies so much. Movies make people have a
great time. They take you to a different world.
Indians in particular are all about movies. Why do you think ​SRK is the
world’s second richest actor?
Check out ​this Quora thread​ to read more about why movies are the
bomb.
11. YOU CAN CALL ME ANYTIME.
“Hi. . . My name is [YOUR NAME]. . . But you can call me.
. . ANYTIME.”
You can use this as an opener in pickup or say it when you’re
exchanging names in an interaction.
This works great in social situations and random introductions as
well.
12. TURN DOWN FOR WHAT?
I love this opener. Works all the time, be it day Game or night Game.
Walk up to a girl,
You (with a serious look): Hi, excuse me. I have a
question?
Her: Ya, tell me?
You(with exaggeration and animated facial expressions):
TURN DOWN FOR WHAT!?!?
She’ll end up getting surprised and amused at the same time. If she’s
confused and asks you what do you mean, repeat it again with the
same energy.
“TURN DOWN FOR WHAT.”
Take it from here.
13. SINGING A SONG
Or, you can walk up to women and start singing random songs to
them.
I prefer the more romantic ones where I have a mischievous smile on
my face and maintain laser eye contact.
Some of my favourite ones are:
“Aap yahan aaye kisliye?”
“Dekho dekho janam hum, dil apna tere liye laaye.”
Use any song that you’re comfortable with.
14. THE POWERPUFF GIRLS (For a group of 3 girls)
My default opener for a group of 3 girls is calling them The Powerpuff
Girls.
“Hi. You guys look like The Powerpuff Girls.”
Go further and point out who looks like who.
“You look like Bubbles. . . you’re Buttercup. . . and you the
leader of the pack. . . you’re Blossom.”
15. TALL GIRL.
“How tall are you?”
Walk up to a girl and ask her how tall she is. You can say this to any
girl you like. But, I prefer saying this to the girls which are more than
5’8” in height.
Be careful while asking shorter girls their height as some of them are
insecure and will end up getting offended.
If she gets offended, apologise and throw in a statement of empathy.
Something like:
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you. It’s just that I
find short girls cute.”
16. HOW’S THE WEATHER UP/DOWN THERE?
Walk up to a girl. With a mischievous smile and piercing eye contact,
playfully ask,
“How’s the weather up there?”
if she’s taller than you.
If she’s shorter than you, ask:
“How’s the weather down there?”
The key here is to say it like you’d say it to your little sister when you
would be teasing her.
17. SKIP THE OPEN.
Say hi like she’s an old friend. Get into a story or any particular
incident that just happened to you.
The frame should be that she’s a friend and you’re expressing
yourself.
Many times I’m talking to my wing and we’re in the middle of a
conversation when I see a girl walk by. Being in the middle of a
conversation, I just turn my head and say whatever I was going to say
to my friend, to the girl.
18. CAB OPENER
If she’s taking a cab or an auto, walk up to her pretending like you’re a
cab driver. Say
“Ma’am auto?. . .Come.”
Start bantering. Have a lot of fun. Most often than not, they will
understand that you’re messing around with them but will still play
along if you’re fun.
If she doesn’t understand that you’re messing around, tell her that
you’re not really the cab driver and just wanted to say Hi to her.
Keep talking in the same fun manner that you were talking earlier.
She’ll love it.
19. MOONWALK OPENER
Moonwalk backwards to her on the street. Stop right in front of her
and say hi.
It should be clear that you’re having fun and don’t really know how to
moonwalk. You’re not trying to impress her.
She’ll start laughing by then. Introduce yourself and take it from here.
20. BACHELORETTE PARTY OPENER
Go up to a group of 4 or more girls and say (in breaking rapport
tonality),
“Are you guys having a bachelorette party?“
You can say this with high energy or low energy, whatever you prefer.
High energy is always preferred though. It cuts through the noise and
you distinguish yourself instantly.
“Heyyyyy, bachelorette party. Yayyyyyyy.” (High energy
and fun.)
21. YOUR FRIEND’S BIRTHDAY.
Tap a girl on the shoulder and say,
“It’s my friend’s birthday. Wish him.”
Never goes wrong.
Make sure your friend knows about this and will play along.
Once she wishes him, let him talk to her for a while. In the meantime
introduce yourself to her friends and make them have a fun time.
Or you can introduce yourself to the girl and chat her up, if your friend
isn’t able to talk to her.
If you’re on the dance floor, keep dancing. She won’t talk to you for
long when there’s loud music playing in the environment. So keep
things short and fun. Focus more on the vibe and physicality.
Take it from here.
22. EMBARRASS YOURSELF
Walk near a group of girls sitting on a table. Trip yourself and fall. Let
them notice and offer their help. Give out your hand as if you’re
expecting her to pick you up.
Get up and go sit at their table. Ask them what they’re upto and
continue the conversation in a fun light-hearted way.
Another thing you could do is go stand on higher ground in a public
place, like on a bench nearby or a chair in the food court.
Scream some random thing as loudly as you can. Make sure people
look at you.
Get down and walk up to the girl you’re interested in and say,
“Now that i have your attention, what's your name?”
Take it from here.
If they seem uncomfortable, or ask you to leave- smile, thank them for
their help, and leave.
23. STEAL HER HAT
If she’s wearing a particular accessory like a hat or specs, you can tap
her and take it from her. Make it fun. Steal it. Sometimes when you’re
taking it she will willingly give it to you.
Now just have fun. Talk normally. Return the accessory in some time.
No stealing.
24. ACT CURIOUS
“Your shirt. Why is it blue?”
“Your dress. . .It’s is a little too blue.”
For this to work your non verbal cues have to be on point. She has to
know you’re high value for her to chase you.
I’ve tried this many times and it never worked from me that well. It
might offend the girl and is a bit risky to pull off.
Test it for yourself before coming to any conclusions.
25. HI. ARE YOU FROM _____?
You: Hi, are you from [name of any city or country]?
She: Yes. (or no).
You: Hmm. Interesting.
Now she’ll ask you why is that interesting. Brush it off like you didn’t
hear what she said and continue the conversation.
26. POINT AT HER. GESTURE HER TO COME HERE.
Like how your teacher would call you to the front of the class if he
would do this. Act like you’re the teacher when doing it.
27. DAB OPEN
Go up to a girl and dab. Make sure she’s looking at you.
If she’s at a distance, wait for her to make eye contact with you and
then do the dab.
She’ll be staring at you in disbelief. But don’t break eye contact and
dab again. Then do it again. Ask her to do it.
If she does, go up to her and introduce yourself.
If she doesn’t, call her boring and turn around.
After a while go up to her and introduce yourself.
This is great for cold approach and social environments like offices,
classrooms, clubs where people are going to say for longer periods.
Amazing way to break the ice.
28. HOW YOU DOIN? (JOEY)
Everybody loves F.R.I.E.N.D.S. And everybody knows about Joey’s
‘how you doin?’ line.
It’s bound to get her laughing. Just do it right. Check out how Joey
does it and then do it in the exact same manner.
29. HEY, WHATSUP WHATS HAPPENING? WHY DO YOU GUYS LOOK
SO TROUBLED?
Walk up to her assuming familiarity and say,
“Hey, whatsup. Whats happening? Why do you guys look
so troubled?”
Or,
“Why do you guys look so shy?”
Be completely at ease while saying this. Don’t rush it. Check out my
Infield Pickup Compilation video at 6:53.
30. GIRL WALKING FAST
If you see a girl walking fast, go up to her and ask
“Why are you in such a terrible hurry?”
Make sure you’re walking with her. She’s not going to stop to
entertain you. She’s trying to get somewhere and is already late.
Don’t be a hindrance to her plan. If she wants you to leave, leave.
OPINION OPENERS
These are a lot of fun because they’re quite absurd and capture the
imagination instantly. Have fun while saying these. Be comfortable
and relaxed. If you have fun, the girl will feel more comfortable as a
result and will want to talk to you more.
31. WHO LIES MORE?
“Hey, I need a female opinion on something real quick. .
.Me and my friend were discussing one day about who lies
more? . . . Guys or girls? . . . And we could not come to a
conclusion. . .
My friend thinks that girls lie more, . . .whereas I think
that guys are more frequent liars. . . What do you think?”
32. CHEATING GIRLFRIEND OPENER.
You: “Hey, I need a female opinion on something really
quick. . . It’s a crazy situation. So, my friend has been
dating this girl for about a year now. . .And she told him
that last week when she had gone for a party, . . .she ended
up making out with a girl.”
Her: “Okay.”
You: “Do you think that’s cheating?”
Her: “ Ya, that’s clearly cheating.“ Or, “No, that’s not
cheating at all.”
You: “Why do you say that?”
Take the interaction from here. Get her number.
33. DO YOU THINK I LOOK GAY?
“Do you think I look gay in this shirt? . . . Because people
have been coming up to me and slapping my butt. . . The
other day I went to the club. . . and I was standing at the
bar ordering myself a drink. . . Suddenly, I feel a hand
creep up my butt. . . I turn around. . . and see this huge guy
standing there with a moustache,. . . looking suggestively at
me.”
34. Do you think I look like a drug dealer?
“Do you think I look like a drug dealer? . . .People have
been coming up to me and asking for drugs. . . I was
standing outside the mall today. . . waiting for my friend. . .
when this random dude. . . with long hair, comes and
stands besides me. . . and goes like- chh chhes. Maal?
Maal?...”
35. DID YOU GUYS SEE THE FIGHT OUTSIDE?
“Hey, did you guys see the fight outside? . . . So, there were
these 2 girls fighting. . . going at it with each other. . .
pulling each other’s hair and then suddenly. . . one of the
girl’s breasts pops out. . . Now usually I’m all for seeing a
nice pair of boobs. . . but this one was a really saggy-baggy
booby. Like the one they show on National Geographic.”
By this time the girls will be laughing uncontrollably and will have a
shocked look on their face.
Remember, it’s the vibe with which you say it and not the exact
words.
Take the interaction from here.
COCKY FUNNY OPENERS
Cocky funny is my natural personality. It manages to create immense
attraction instantly and separates you from the crowd.
When people will be asking her boring things like ‘who lies more’, you
will come up to her and stimulate her emotions.
You know that line,
Get a girl to laugh and you can make her do anything.
(Consensually, of course.)
Well, it’s true.
Cockiness is an indicator of confidence. But take it too far and you’re
gonna come off as arrogant.
That’s why we mix cockiness with humour to neutralise the arrogance.
Cocky and funny are like the combination of nitro and glycerine.
Individually, they’re relatively harmless. Combine them, and you’ve
got dynamite.
The mindset here is that we are the prize and she’s the one chasing.
Be teasing, challenging and try to take her case.
We as human beings don’t value the things we get easily.
So, make it fun for her.
Cocky and funny is a way of being, rather than just an opener. Don’t
go sucking up to the girl at the first sign of interest.
36. “ARE YOU FOLLOWING ME?”
Walk in front of her, turn and with a mischievous smile say:
“Are you following me?. . . I’ll have to call the cops on you.
”
Take out your phone and pretend to call the cops. With smiling
expressions, which clearly show you’re joking around scream on the
phone :
“I am sick of getting followed around by all these women. .
. This is the 9000th time a girl is following me. . . I know I
look like a Greek God but this is too much. . . Oh. . . You
won’t do anything?. . . I’ll have to deal with it myself?. . .
okay, then. I will deal with it.”
By this time, she’ll be laughing like crazy and will be super attracted
to you. Go up to her and tell her that the cops refuse to help you out.
Introduce yourself. Take it from here.
Don’t worry if she’s not laughing. Maintain your frame and start an
interaction regardless. Remember, it’s all part of the plan.
But, if she’s gets offended, leave. You don’t need that kind of
negativity in your life.
37. Are you checking out my ass
“Are you checking out my ass? God. . . I know I’ve got an
amazing ass but you don’t need to treat me like a piece of
meat. . . I’ve got feelings too, you know.”
38. LET HER BUMP INTO YOU
Stick your elbow out when she walks past you. When she bumps into
your elbow, scream in pain.
Extra points if you go down on the floor, curl up in the foetal position
and start crying loudly.
39. I SEE YOU’VE BEEN CHECKING ME OUT
“Are you just gonna stand there or you’re gonna come up
to me and say hi. . . I’ve been seeing you checking me out.”
Act offended while saying this. You’re the prize.
40. WHEN YOU RANDOMLY MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH SOMEONE.
“Hey, don’t waste that good eye contact. . .Come over and
introduce yourself. . . This is serendipity.”
41. DOES IT UPSET YOU...
“Does it upset you. . . to be walking (or standing or being at
the same place). . . beside such a handsome man, because
no one is looking at you.”
42. DID YOU EVER IMAGINE?...
“When you woke up this morning. . . did you ever. . . in
your wildest dream. . . imagine that a guy so handsome. . .
would be walking beside you.”
43. DO YOU KNOW WHY THIS PLACE IS SO CROWDED?
“Do you know why this place is so hot/crowded? . . .
Because I’m here. . . Everybody knew I was coming. . .
Please don’t ask for an autograph.”
I’ve said this countless times to women in the club and it works like
magic. It’s one of my favourite things to say in a club when I’m in a
great mood. It’s so effortless.
44. DIRECTIONAL OPENER
Ask directions to a place you wanna go.
Examples:
“Do you know where Starbucks is? I’m new here.”
“I’m looking for a place where I can get nice ice-cream. Do
you know any?”
Once she tells you the direction, say something like,
“That’s great. Thank you. I just noticed you have curly (or
straight) hair. Do you curl (or straighten) them up or are
they naturally like that?”
You can notice anything about her- guess where she’s from, what she
does, her nails, anything she’s carrying, any particular accessory or
clothing that makes her stand out, anything about the place you’re in.
Literally anything.
Don’t try to be cool. Say whatever comes to you in that situation. It’s
okay. The goal is to have the conversation going.
As a newbie when you haven’t spoken to anyone, it helps ease the
tension in your body by going in with something which is
non-threatening.
Check out the video I did on how to make these work.
45. JUICE OPENER
Open with directions to Jamba Juice or any other place you like going
to.
“Hi, I’m new here and I’m looking for this really awesome
place, which serves this really amazing fresh juice.
Her: “It’s there.” Or “I have no idea where that is.”
Either she’ll know where that place is or she won’t. It doesn’t matter
anyway. Thank her for helping you out and then do a mini cold-read.
Where you notice something about her and make an assumption
about what she does or what type of a person she is.
You: “Oh okay. Thanks a lot. I just noticed that you have
an artsy vibe about yourself. Do you do something
creative?”
Her: “Yes, I’m a designer.” or, “ No, I don’t do anything
creative.”
Now, here again it doesn’t matter what she does. You’re just trying to
get a conversation going. Don’t worry. Everything is part of the plan.
If she says she’s in the creative field then ask her about that. Share
your own experience in the field. She’ll be more likely to talk to you
about the things she knows about.
Say something like,
“I have no idea about design and fashion. Look at me.
What do you do exactly?”
Or, if you know something about the space, then share that.
“I have a friend who is a designer and she told me all about
how things are in the fashion industry...blah...blah...blah.”
If she’s not in the creative field, follow up with asking her what she
does.
You: “Oh, it looked like you’re a designer. Anyway, what
do you do?”
Now, she’ll tell you what she does. Talk to her about that and share
your own experience in the field.
Take the interaction from here.
46. CHEESY PICK UP LINES
I’m not going to go into detail with this one. Google and you’ll find
plenty of these.
If you’re gonna use these, make sure you say it in a playful manner,
like the above example. It’s all in the vibe.
Always follow up after saying an opener. Don’t just stand there
thinking that you’ve done your part and now she will let you take her
home and fuck the shit out of her. You’re out of your mind.
A default thing to do right after the opener is to introduce yourself. If
you have something better to say, go with it. Introductions can
happen later, when she wants to know who you are.
Initially, just focus on being fun and making her laugh.
47. THE GENDER RESERVATION OPENER
I love this one. It has been my go-to opener during the daytime when I
can’t come up with anything else to say. This one manages to save my
ass everytime.
It’s an opinion pener which is why it instantly starts up a discussion
between you and the girl/group of girls.
“Do you think seats should be reserved for women in the
metro? . . . (let her answer). . . Because, I feel that seats
should only be reserved for the pregnant, disabled and the
elderly.”
Have a nice discussion on this topic and then introduce yourself.
Take it from here.
48. IF SHE’S SITTING ALONE
Walk up to her and say,
“You look bored. So, I thought I’d come over to you and
say hi.”
Works best if the girl is sitting alone or is checking her phone.
You can say this to anyone actually. Make it a fun interaction when
she clearly is not bored and tells you that she is actually shopping or
doing whatever else she’s doing.
Introduce yourself and take it from here.
49. DELIBERATE ILLOGICALITY
If I’m in Delhi I would go up to the girls and say,
“Hi, I’m new to Paris. I’ve never been here before. Could
you tell me where the pyramids are?”
Or, you can say something that like-
“I need a watermelon. Are you a lawyer?”
Doesn’t make sense? Good. It’s not supposed to.
Do this with anything you want to say. Just make sure that you don’t
make sense. Ever.
Say it with a smirk on your face which says you’re fucking with her.
Or, have a plain expression like you’re serious and she’s crazy when
she says that this is not Paris.
50. THE HARD STOP
One of the most common openers for daytime where you stand in
front of a girl and ask her to stop.
This instantly manages to spark attraction, as you grab her attention
right off the open.
You can then go on to say something like
“I find you really cute and wanted to say hi.”
Be confident while doing it. Hold strong eye contact. Stay groundedfeet firmly planted on the ground. Masculine polarity is key here.
51. SWAG OPENER.
This one is a direct opener. But on steroids.
“Hey...you...Hi...Whatsup? What’s your name?. . . I think
you’re really cute.”
Super loud and bossy. Extremely masculine. Creates instant attraction
if your concepts about polarity are clear.
Make sure you own it completely while doing this. Don’t hesitate.
Don’t doubt yourself. A pinch of doubt about this working or not, and
you’ll fail.
I use this to instantly get myself into state on command. This opener
is why I don’t need to warm up before. Master this and getting into
state will be like a on/off switch. This one and the next one…
52. ENTHUSIASM OPENER
Say anything.
But be extremely enthusiastic in your approach. Be extremely loud.
Have animated facial expressions. Combine it with being cocky and
funny and you’re more attractive than Brad Pitt.
Don’t underestimate the power of this opener. On the girl. And on
yourself. This will get you out of your head and straight in your body
in a click.
53. GYM OPENER
The mindset you need to be coming here from is that she’s not more
important than what you’re doing right now. So, focus on your
workout.
Just make eye contact and smile. Show her that you’ve acknowledged
her presence. Nothing else.
Wait for the next day. Be a familiar face and then go up to her and
say,
“Hi. How are you?”
Talk to her for some time. All the time having fun and making her
laugh.
Leave again.
You don’t need to take big risks here as you’ll see her again in the
gym the next day.
After a day or two, start up the conversation again when her workout
is over or she’s getting out. Walk out with her.
After talking for some time, tell her that you’re very hungry and
wanna grab something healthy to eat. You know this really cool place
right outside/nearby your gym. It’s amazing. She should come with
you for a quick bite.
Get her number.
You can do the same in college or at your workplace.
The benefit of this approach is that it is very safe. It goes under the
radar. So, you don't necessarily damage your reputation in the social
setting.
54. BREAKING RAPPORT OPENERS
You’re playing with fire with these openers. For me personally, these
have never worked out. It could be because I’m in India and people
are conservative here.
But, don’t let that stop you if these resonate with you.
The idea here is to start off with you dismissing the girl for something
you don’t like about her.
You’ve got to have boss level damage control skills when using these.
If you’re starting out, then most often than not you’ll end up offending
the girl. Be careful.
Some examples are,
“I hate you.”
“Do you know why you suck?”
Now, it seems that if you say these things to the girl then she might
get offended and leave. But that’s not always the case.
Usually, their response is,
“Why do you hate me?”
Rather than,
“So what” or “Who the fuck are you tell me why I suck.”
Test these out.
55. COMPLIMENT
I’m a big fan of keeping things simple. Which is why at times, I open
with a good old compliment like
“I love your dress.”
You’ll be surprised how sweet girls are. She spent a lot of time this
morning to dress up. And you just made her day by complimenting
her.
To make it work you have to come from a mindset of offering value,
non-neediness and freedom from outcome.
56. IF SHE’S WEARING A STRIPED DRESS
You: “Is that a black dress with white stripes. . . or a white
dress with black stripes?”
Her: “Umm, it’s black with white stripes.” (or whatever
she says)
You: “No, it’s not.”
This is such a ridiculous opener. I love it.
I’ve had so much success with this opener. It’s become my default for
women wearing a black and white dress.
57. IF SHE’S ON THE PHONE
“Get off the phone”
Click on the video below to see this in action.
Or, use any of the other openers first and then tell her to get off the
phone in a dominant way.
Dominance is everything here. Act like a bawss.
Once she gets off the phone, you’ll have immense attraction from her.
So don’t just stand there looking into oblivion. Say something good.
But maintain masculine polarity.
58. WHO ARE YOU?
“Hi, who are you?”
This one has some risk involved. But as it goes, high risk, reward.
You’ve gotta be dominant and confident in your approach. You flinch
and you’re dead.
But once done correctly, this one can really spike up the girl’s
attraction for you.
If done in a bad way, she might get offended.
This works because most women are submissive in nature and love a
dominant man. Picture 50 Shades of Grey.
59. SILENT OPEN
Don’t say anything. Nothing. Use sub-communications to attract heryour vibe, eye contact and facial expressions.
It’s great to open this way because you get to practice your vibe and
facial expressions properly.
This works because what you say anyway does not matter. People get
attracted to how you say things- the non verbal cues. This includes
your
● Energy
● Vibe
● Eye contact
● Facial expressions
● Non-neediness
● Vocal tonality and
● Body language
60. IF THERE’S MUSIC PLAYING, GO UP TO HER SINGING.
Be non-needy and offer value. Your goal should be to make her laugh
or make her have fun. That’s it.
The more crazy you are the better.
She’ll get drawn in to your vibe. Then give out your hand and invite
her to dance.
If she does not, smile and keep offering value. (Works all the time
though. If it’s not working, then your vibe is off.)
61. HIGH FIVE AS THE OPEN
Walk up to a girl with an offering value vibe expecting nothing in
return.
Make eye contact while you walk up to her.
Have a very endearing personality. Smile, feel positivity and fun in
yourself.
Believe that it will work. And then offer a high five in a very calm and
controlled manner.
You can do the same thing to a group of girls as well. Walk up to
them and loudly say,
“You guys are awesome.”
Then go in forthe high five. Ask their names. Tell them your name. Get
talking.
62. CHIDIYA UDD- THE Game
I like doing this occasionally in the club. It’s a lot of fun.
What you do here, is that you create a party in the venue to draw
people into your vibe.
How I like doing this is that I put my index finger on the other palm of
my hand and ask my wings to do the same. Bonus points if you have
girls already in your group or have merged them. Get them to join as
well.
Then go up to the set near you that you want to open and order them
to put their fingers as well. Sell the shit out of the Game. Ramble. Be
like,
“Chidiya udd. . . come on. . .let’s go. . . we’re playing
chidiya udd. . .put your fingers here. . .do it. . . do it.”
63. THUMB FIGHT.
Go up to your girl and challenge her to a Game of thumb fight.
“You and me. . .thumb fight. . .right now. . . world
championship. . . best of 3 Games. . .let’s go.”
Take her hand and lock it into the thumb fight position. Start counting
till 10 and then begin immediately.
Don’t look for approval from her. Just lead into it.
64. (DELETED)
65. ASSUMING POPULARITY OPENER (THE SOCIALITE)
Perfect for social situations and clubs where you’ve built value and
have some social proof.
First, build up social proof by talking to people around and being like
a socialite. Have some people around you- guys and girls both. Be the
center of attention.
You’ll look like the popular guy who knows everyone. People around
you will assume you’re cool and want to talk to you since you’re the
alpha male in the setting.
It’s child’s play from here on. Open whatever set you like, who ever
you like. I like to play the socialite card by saying
“Hi. I don’t think I have met you. Who are you?”
I know they want to meet me because they’ve seen me be around
people. Everybody wants to align with the person who has the most
social value in a setting.
Don’t limit this to just social settings and clubs. Works for cold
approach during dayGame too. The frame you go with is that you’re a
super cool guy who everyone know and how come you haven’t met
this particular girl. She’s missing out on a lot.
I’ve used this many times in college. I was one of the popular guys in
college. I knew that people have seen me around. So, I would hold
that frame and talk to anybody I wanted to.
Do this in a cool way and people will love you for it.
Act like a rockstar. Get treated like a rockstar.
66. STEAL THEIR FOOD
Walk up to girls if they have food, balloons or anything else in their
hands. If it’s food, take a spoon, ask her what that is and start eating.
If she stops you from doing that get into a playful fight like she’s your
little sister. Make it fun. Start shouting. Get loud. Exaggerate
everything.
This has to be fun. Don’t take yourself seriously here.
I’ve field tested this extensively and it works perfectly. It’s so much
fun when you do this it shoots up your state through the roof in an
instant. Try it. You’ll love it.
67. TWERK
Jump between a group of girls on the dance floor and start twerking
like crazy.
Don’t give a fuck. Absolute zero fucks need to be given at this point.
Zero.
ZERO.
After making them laugh like crazy give the hand of god to the girl
you’re interested in. Spin. Introduce yourself.
Now you’re in. Maintain the fun. Meet the other people in the group
and do more crazy stuff.
Bring your wingmen in and introduce them to the group. They will
engage the group while you dance and talk to the girl you like.
You’re welcome.
68. HAVE YOU MET TED?
Tap the girl on the shoulder and make her meet your wing by saying,
“Have you met [NAME]?”
Like how Barney would do in the show How I Met Your Mother.
We went a step forward to try it in real life and see if it works. Turns
out girls are usually down to meeting the friend I’m introducing her
to. It’s amazing.
Since then, I’ve been using this quite often in the club.
69. BACK-HANDED COMPLIMENT
“Hey, nice dress. I just saw another girl wear that same
dress.”
“I love your shoes. They’re so common these days. I see
every girl wear them. I love it.”
“Nice hair. Are they real?”
Although you’re complimenting her, you’re also adding how common
her dress or shoes are. Women hate that. A woman always wants to
be special and stand out.
It works because it makes you stand out from the crowd while
complementing her at the same time. You’ve created a validation void
in her now and she will chase you to get her validation back.
It’s like, the girl knows she’s hot and she has all the guys hitting on
her all the time. Then you walk up and give her a back-handed
compliment. Now she does not know if you like her or not. She’s
confused. This makes her chase you, rather than you chasing her.
Don’t insult her. Ever. The idea is to give her a compliment but then to
neutralise it immediately.
If you’re going to use this, use this while talking to women getting a
lot of attention from men in the environment.
Don’t ever use it on a girl who is seemingly bored and lonely. By
giving her a back-handed compliment you’re going to lower her
self-esteem. She’ll hate you for that. Rather give her a compliment
and say nice things to her. Make her feel good. Guys are not doing
that to her.
70. I’M HAVING A REALLY BAD DAY.
“Hi. I’m having a really bad day. My cat died today (or
any other reason).”
I wouldn’t tell you to use this one very frequently. Use it when you’re
in a fun mood and want to mess around with people.
71. I JUST GOT DUMPED
This is a variation of the above opener. It aims at getting sympathy
from people. It works because people are generally nice. It’s
surprising.
But again, I’d advise you not to use this one. I’ve known people who
go the sympathy route to get attention. These kind of people never do
anything worthwhile in their lives and no one wants to be around
them. If you’re one of them, stop doing it. That shit is toxic.
Rather, focus on giving out good emotions and making people have a
good time. You’ll be in a much happier and fulfilled place in life.
That being said, if you’re doing it just for fun then by all means, go
ahead. But, don’t do this all the time. Use it sparingly.
72. IS APPROACHING BAD OPENER.
Walk up to the girl and ask her genuinely-
“Hey, what do you think about guys going up to girls and
talking to them? . . .(let her answer). . . Has that ever
happened to you?”
This happened back in the day when we were starting out with
meeting women. My friend was waiting for a friend in Connaught
Place when he saw a girl sitting quietly on a bench nearby.
Having nothing else to do, he walked up to her and asked her if she’d
ever been approached before. Turns out, she had and was okay with
it.
What she said next blew my mind.
She said that most women don’t mind men coming up to them and
having a nice conversation.
What creeps her out is guys staring at her for eternity. She does not
know what the guy wants. He could be a thief, a murderer or a rapist.
You never know.
Try it for yourself. Go up to a couple of sets the next time you go out
and ask them what they think about guys approaching. You’ll be
surprised with the answers.
73. HELP ME, MY BATTERY DIED.
“Hey, my phone’s battery died. . .I’m waiting for a friend. .
. Can you help me by dialling this number?”
She’ll help you. Obviously. People are nice.
Go on to dial your own number. Once it rings, take out your phone
and say,
“Thank you. I have your number now.”
I’d like to tell you just one thing.
DON’T DO THIS. DON’T.
Stop if you’re one of those guys who do this or are even thinking of
doing it. You’re tricking the girl into it. She’ll feel cheated. Might call
the cops on you.
Don’t talk to me if you’re still going to go ahead with this.
74. LOGICAL DIRECT OPENER.
“HI. . .I just saw you. . .and i had to say hi. . . otherwise i
would have regretted it for the next 7 seconds.”
You’re being very upfront here and straight to the point. Also, by
saying that you’ll regret it for the next 7 seconds, you’re bringing
humour and fun into the interaction. Can never go wrong with that.
You can use a number of variations here like-
“Can I say something totally random?”
And then go on to tell her that you find her cute.
“I know this is extremely random, but you’re amazing.”
“Hi. you look extremely lovely and I just thought of coming
over to you and introducing myself.”
75. DO YOU HAVE A LIGHT? (OR TIME)
Self-explanatory.
To make this work, check out the video I did on this particular topic.
76. HIGH 5
Go up to a girl and give her a high 5.
It’s low risk because you’re not asking her to do a lot. People give
High Fives all the time.
Also, it can work wonders for you if you combine it with having fun
while doing it and masculine polarity.
77. TALK TO HER FRIEND
If it’s a group of girls, approach some other seemingly polite girl from
the group. Make her your friend. Make her have a good time.
Compliment her. Tell her how sweet she is.
Let her introduce you to her group.
Don't do a direct approach. Keep it authentic. You’re not into her so
you don’t want to mislead her by telling her that you find her cute.
78. BUY HER A DRINK
I see this being done so often. It’s what’s been told to us by the
mainstream. But when you do it, you get shot down like a bird in the
sky instantly.
To make it smooth you can buy a drink for your friends and then offer
one to her in a fun manner. Tell her you’re in a good mood or that it’s
your birthday and she has to do shots with you.
I never do this. When I first started learning success with women, this
was amongst one of the first things I was told to not do.
It’s like you’re buying her a drink to take something in return. You
have a hidden agenda. It’s creepy.
Although, this might work if done in the manner Ryan Gosling does in
Crazy Stupid Love. Just don’t be needy about it. Only offer value.
79. BRANGELINA OPENER
Use this for groups of a guy and a girl.
Many times, girls hang out with their friendzoned guys who pick them
up, drop them, take them out for lunches and shopping, etc.
If it’s a guy and a girl, don’t assume they’re dating. Find out for
yourself.
Walk up to them and say,
“You guys look like an amazing couple. You people remind
me of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. . . I thought I’ll just
come up to you guys and tell you that. . . What are you
guys up to?”
And then start rambling. If your delivery is great, the girl will tell you if
they are a couple or not. Never assume that they are a couple.
Even if they are, you can still continue the interaction with the both of
them like a cool guy. Make friends with them. Not everything is about
just talking to women.
80. ARE YOU GUYS DATING?
Go up to the couple and ask them if they’re dating.
If they are, leave politely.
If not, tell the guy that you want to talk to the girl for 2 minutes.
Take her hand and walk her a step or two away from the guy so that
she faces you. Talk to the girl for a while and then get her number to
continue the conversation sometime later.
81. MAGIC TRICK
Learn some magic tricks and show them to the girls.
The problem here is that a lot of guys use magic as a crutch to get the
girls interested. But they forget that the girl is only interested in the
magic trick, the gimmick. And not them.
You will get instant attraction but your concepts about Game need to
be on point for this to work.
A good place to learn some cool magic tricks for the bar is ​Scam
School​.
82. BEN’S MOM
Riddles are like magic tricks. They capture the crowd’s attention by
posing as a challenge. And our ego loves challenges.
We call this chick crack. It’s easy to grab a girl’s attention with these.
Be it riddles, magic tricks or mini cold reads.
One of my favourite riddles to ask a girl back in the day was Ben’s
mom. It used to go something like this.
Me: “Hey, I have a question. . . It’s a riddle actually. . .
Let’s see if you can solve it. . .Ready? . . .Ben’s mom had 3
children. . . Index finger (pointing to your index finger). . .
Middle finger (pointing to your middle finger). . . and?
(pointing to your ring finger) . . tell me the name of the
third kid?
Her: Ring finger?
You: No
Her: The third finger. The thumb. Etc.
You: No
Her: Fine. Tell me.
You: Ben.
Then laugh your ass off, teasing her about how she could not guess
such an easy riddle.
Go on to introduce yourself to them. And you’re in.
This works even better if you bet something before asking her the
question.
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