Maybe it's just like how I am. I consider friends to be more of a part of
my world. I love my friends, both the damsels and lads. I told barely
four of them I do. Maybe it’s because for some, it's just this one time
thing of meeting someone, get to know them, chat and move on to
another. I don’t just utter those words and when I do so, it is never a lie
neither is it when I do not utter. Maybe I told you I do love you, it's
philia, maybe you thought it’s more than that, but no. You will only
really understand it when you get to be in my shoes, to know me. Most
wights think if different genders express love in general, he or she wants
a relationship, but it could be unrequited, storge or it could be philia or
mina, stop confusing. Yeah, you may got the looks to kill, but if it really
affected me, I would have joined the choir invisible (die). Yeah I'm
complicated, you should know before you be like, oh no I should have
earlier.
I always thought every friend was worth it. I used to tell some of my
friends everything. I realize I was wrong, Meeting people doesn’t mean
they automatically become friends, for some it's just this phase of
meeting you, you perhaps talk and talk and you will become someone
they once knew in their eyes while they have become confidants to you.
Some laugh at you for being who you are and sharing stuff, some
understand, take years to unfriend you coz of circumstances. It's not
their fault. It's your fault for thinking one person can be the same as the
others.
I have always been the one to not believe in everlasting friendships.
Some have completely been forgotten by me because I myself saw, it
was not completely worth it to include them in my circle. I completely
stopped caring, stopped turning back and utter hello or hie, because their
pride or how they think if I get attached to you, you are more than a
friend to you, if I utter phillia (love of friendship) you think it's
something else. Yeah you got looks they say, but im not bothered. You
are not the only who knows how crazy I can be so that should be enough
for you to come to a conclusion of who you are to me. Not all friends
know me that way.