Running head: MY CONFLICT MANAGEMENT STRATEGIES
My Conflict Management Strategies
Pedro Vicente
Hope International University
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MY CONFLICT MANAGEMENT STRATEGIES
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My Conflict Management Strategies
When I was younger, I had to do a work group in my school. Me, and three other friends of
mine, composed the group. I had a new watch, and one day when we ended the task, I did not
know where my watch was. I looked for it for a while but I did not manage to find it. The
only possibility that rested was that one of my friends have stolen it.
I asked them who the person that have stolen my watch was. However, none of them
blamed the guilty one because we were all friends and no one knew what had really
happened. The only person that knew what happened was the guilty one.
I was mad, not because I did not have my watch, but someone that was supposedly
my friend, and someone that I trusted, stole and lied to me. I waited until the next day and
then I had a little conversation with each member of the group. By talking individually with
everyone, the true guilty had the courage to tell me the truth, and to tell me why he did it.
When he told me the reason, we solved the conflict and he made everything to earn
my trust again. As a friend, I helped him with his problems. A few time later everything got
back to normal. I did not use all the eight steps to conflict resolution, but I have used some of
them.
I understood that while working was not the right place and time to talk about what
happened with us. No one would blame himself of stealing a friend facing the group. I tried
to keep calm and waited until the next day and talked privately with all of them. In my
opinion, I created the perfect environment for the situation. I prepared my speech, chose a
nice and quiet place and talked with all of them when everyone was calmer and have already
thought about the situation.
MY CONFLICT MANAGEMENT STRATEGIES
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Even if at that time I did not know about this paper referring the eight steps to conflict
resolution, it looked like that I had already read it. I accomplished the first step of creating an
effective atmosphere.
I thought a lot about the situation. It allowed me to clarify perceptions. When the
guilty confessed, instead of losing my mind I tried to understand what lead to that situation. I
tried to know the reasons why my friend had to steal me. I let him explain himself and
explaining me his feelings. We clarified any kind of problems that we could have before. In
my opinion, I also accomplished the second step. I clarified perceptions.
When we talked about the theft, I showed my perspective and also, as a Christian, I
talked about how Jesus feels about stealing and I quote him. “Do not do to others what you
do not want them to do to you.” We shared convictions, and ours outlooks, and talked openly
about our concerns. I believe that we also accomplished the step of building shared positive
power.
He was sorry and did not wanted to lose my friendship. He apologized to me. After
that, we tried to focus on the positive experiences that we had together. We both talked about
similar situations that we had in the past and about what we have learnt with them. We
focused on the future, how we would avoid this kind of conflicts. He promised me that he
would never to the same. I promised him that this would stay in the past and that would not
be remembered in the future. With that, we finished the step of looking to the future, and then
learning from the past.
At least we made some agreements to prevent future situations and to keep our
relations as it was before this incident. I tried to help him with his problems. At the end, we
got a way to both of us learn from the situation and that both sides had benefits. I believe that
I accomplished the final step, which was making mutual benefits agreements.
MY CONFLICT MANAGEMENT STRATEGIES
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I have skipped some steps. I did not use the focus on individual and shared needs, the
generate options, and the develop “doables”. I do not think that these ones are less important,
but any conflict has their own characteristics. In my case, the conflict happened with a friend.
We knew quite well each other, so we could skip some steps. It is important to be aware of
every steps, because we never know when a conflict may happen to us.
MY CONFLICT MANAGEMENT STRATEGIES
References
Weeks, Dudley (1992). The Eight Steps to Conflict Resolution. New York: Penguin Putnam
Inc.
Tubbs, Stewart L. (2001) A Systems Approach to Small Group Interaction. 7th Ed. Boston:
McGraw‐Hill.
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