Introduction…………………………………………………………………….. 2
Understanding Fear And Anxiety ………………………………………….. 3
Getting To Know You, Your Fears, And Anxiety ..……………………….. 5
Identifying Your Triggers ……………………………………………………... 6
Letting Go Of Guilt ………………………………………………………….... 8
Nurturing Your Self-Worth …………………………………………….……... 7
Letting Go Of Shame ……………………………………………………….. 11
Letting Go Of Grief ………………………………………………………….. 13
Connecting With Your Inner Truth ………..………………………………..15
Connecting With Source …………………………………………………... 17
Does Fear Rule You?
How much of your brilliant inner light, bright enough to light up a thousand skies, is
dimmed by fear?
How many times has fear pinned you down, when all you wanted to do was fly?
How many potential soulmates has fear stolen from you?
How many life-changing opportunities?
How many breathtaking adventures?
How many in the past?
How many more in the future?
Fear lies to you.
Fear tells you to stay put, because growing upwards or outwards is “dangerous.”
Fear convinces you that failure is worse than doing nothing at all.
Fear wants you to forget that
Life is beautiful, irreversible and short.
But in the face of this truth, have you ever wondered…
Is there really anything worth fearing?
Fear loves you.
But not in a healthy way.
Fear wants to smother you.
Fear wants to stay in your heart forever.
And hold you in the dark, where nobody can see you.
And yet fear can never truly succeed, because the reality is…
Fear fears you.
Your boundless potential strikes fear in fear’s heart.
Fear is terrified by the thought of you…
Showing up.
Stepping up.
Growing up.
For your passions. For your career. For your loved ones. For yourself.
Your unquenchable dreams defy fear.
Your unique gifts defy fear.
Your very existence defies fear.
Fear has every reason to fear YOU - the day you learn to feel the fear and do what you
need to anyway.
*****
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10 Inspiring Exercises To Help Heal Anxiety And Fear
Introduction
Fear is a very powerful emotion and, when activated, can have a deep and negative
effect on our mind, body, and spirit.
Unfortunately though, most people hide their fears and struggles, which ultimately
keeps them from evolving into their greatest self and from healing from experiences
that happened in the past.
But not you. :-)
You’ve decided to face your fears, and that takes courage. The fact that you're here is
already a huge accomplishment!
So give yourself a pat on the back for beginning the journey towards healing from your
fear, and get excited to start living from a place of love, courage, and intuition!
During this mini-guide, you’ll better understand fear and anxiety, why it shows up, how
to use it as a catalyst for growth, and you’ll discover 10 holistic exercises that will help
you release it in any situation. Important: Fear and anxiety can affect all of us every now
and then, yet if you feel anxious all the time for several weeks, or if it feels like your fears
are taking over your life, then it’s a good idea to get professional help.
****************
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Understanding Fear And Anxiety
Although fear and anxiety often occur together, they're not quite the same. Fear
relates to a real or known threat, whereas anxiety is an effect from a thought or thinking
that something could go wrong in the future.
Although most people are wired to think of fear and anxiety as enemies, they’re
actually powerful forces that show up to warn you that something is not right.
If you’re able to shift your perspective and understand what fear is trying to tell you,
you’ll discover that it can be your greatest teacher.
When fear shows up, it acts as an alert message that something needs to change, or it
can show up as a repressed feeling that you long to express or release.
Fear and anxiety are both a natural human state and a vital part of our lives, and we all
experience them from time to time.
In fact, fear actually helps us to identify and respond to danger in ‘fight or flight’ mode.
It can motivate us to face up to dealing with difficult challenges, and the right amount
of fear can also help us perform better and stimulate action and creativity.
But there is another side to it. Persistent fear causes real emotional distress and can lead
to physical illness, at worst, developing anxiety disorders such as panic attacks, phobias,
and obsessive behaviors. Fear at this level can have a truly distressing and debilitating
influence on our lives, impacting both our physical and mental health.
This is why it’s crucial we face it. Because fear doesn’t go away even if we try our
hardest to ignore it.
The more we resist it, the more it persists.
Exercise 1.
Write down all your fears. This could be fear of change, fear of spiders, fear of rejection,
fear of success, etc. Whatever it may be, they’re all valid.
Once you have completed your list, restate each fear in the following format:
I want to ____, and I scare myself by imagining ____.
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For example:
I want to start my own business, and I scare myself by imagining that I would go
bankrupt and lose my savings.
Or:
I want to talk to my friend about our relationship, and I scare myself by imagining that if
he/she knew how I really felt and what I really wanted, our friendship would be over.
By completing this statement for all of the things we’re afraid to do, you can see how
you are the one creating your fears by imagining negative outcomes in the future.
Now take the last part of that statement – the fearful outcome you imagined – and
transform it into something positive in the following format:
Instead of scaring myself by imagining that I will ____, I know that this isn’t true, and I will
instead focus on ____.
For example:
Instead of scaring myself by imagining that I will go bankrupt and lose my savings, I
know that this isn’t true, and I will instead focus on working hard and do whatever it
takes to make my business a success.
Or:
Instead of scaring myself by imagining that my friend will be angry, I know that this isn’t
true, and I wilI instead focus on working with him/her to strengthen our communication
and relationship.
Soon you’ll see how each of these statements transforms fear into a powerful positive
statement.
Affirmation: I choose to fill my mind with positive, nurturing, and healing
thoughts.
4
Getting To Know You, Your Fears And Anxiety
Why do we feel anxious when we’re not in real danger? Well, even though our lives
may not be threatened by saber-toothed tigers… our minds and bodies still work in the
same way as our early ancestors, and we have the same reactions to our modern
worries such as bills, relationships, social situations, etc. The problem is... we can’t run
away from, or physically attack these problems!
The physical feelings of fear can be scary in themselves – especially if what you are
experiencing, you don’t understand, or if they seem out of proportion to the situation.
And what tends to happen is that instead of alerting you to danger and preparing you
to respond to it, your fear or anxiety can kick in for any perceived threat, which could
be imaginary or minor.
If you always avoid situations that scare you, you may stop doing things you want or
actually need to do. When this happens, you miss out on the opportunity to learn more
about yourself and overcome your fear. Anxiety problems tend to increase if you get
into this cycle, which is why exposing yourself to your fears can be an effective way of
overcoming anxiety.
Exercise 2: Keep an anxiety diary or write down what happens and when it happens.
You can try setting yourself small, achievable goals for facing your fears. You can carry
with you a list of things that help at times when you are likely to become frightened or
anxious. This can be an effective way of addressing any underlying beliefs that are
behind your anxiety.
Affirmation: I listen to my body when it tells me what it needs.
5
Identifying Your Triggers
While it may be difficult to identify a trigger, understanding them is an important step in
your journey to healing. Triggers can be external events or internal physical emotions;
sometimes, even the symptoms themselves can be triggers that start the cycle of
anxiety and fear.
The following are some typical categories and examples in which triggers might
appear:
Internal Triggers:
Emotions: feeling down, fear or worry
Mental Images: replaying interpersonal interactions or performance experience
Physical State: racing heartbeat, lightheadedness, tightness in chest
Thoughts: “I might fail this test”, “That person must not like me”, “If my partner leaves
me, I won’t be able to handle it.”
External Triggers:
Presence of Others: attending a social event, meeting with your boss, spending time
with co-workers, family interactions
Physical Setting: mall, open areas on campus, inside a car
Social Pressure: feeling pressured to make friends, feeling pressured to perform
well at work
Activities: a networking event, a party, dating
Exercise 3. List some triggers you experience related to your anxiety.
Whenever we recognize an anxiety-related thought, feeling, or behavior, it can be very
constructive to ask ourselves the following questions:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
What are other ways of looking at this situation?
Am I looking at the whole picture?
What might be a more helpful way of picturing this situation?
What negative thoughts might I be using here (see below)?
What is the evidence that my thoughts are true? Is there an alternative way of
thinking about this situation that is more true?
6. What are the chances that my thoughts will manifest? What are some other
things that could happen that are equally, if not more, probable?
7. Have I had any experiences in the past that suggest this thought might not be
COMPLETELY true ALL of the time?
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8. Can I really predict the future? Is it helpful to try? What is more helpful?
9. Am I exaggerating how bad the result might be? What is more realistic?
10. Can I read people’s minds? What else might they be thinking (that’s not so
negative)?
11. If a friend or loved one were in this situation and had this thought, what would I
tell them?
12. What might it feel like if I acted or thought differently?
13. When I’m not feeling this way, do I think about this situation differently?
14. Are there any strengths or positives in me or the situation that I might be
ignoring?
15. What else might this anxiety be related to? Is it really about feeling _______?
Affirmation: This feeling will pass. It’s a normal body reaction. It’s not me.
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Letting Go Of Guilt
Did you know guilt is one of the main causes of fear?
Guilt is the emotional and cognitive state we experience when we feel we have done
something wrong. We may have violated our own moral code or expectations, or those
of others, or we may simply think that we have done something wrong even when we
haven’t.
Whatever the case, we feel judged (or we judge ourselves harshly and unforgivingly) for
our actions, thoughts, or simply for being who we are.
And because it’s so hard to express guilt - it’s not like anger where you can punch some
pillows - it’s often an internalized emotion, commonly referred to as a “bothered
conscience.”
Guilt sinks deep into our subconscious and manifests as anxious thoughts―it’s like our
inner critic on steroids.
Consequently, we fear being unworthy because we have done wrong, or fear we are
the problem.
As children, we were often made to feel guilty, or we absorb other people's problems
as our fault.
I remember as a child being told by my mum that it was bad to be the center of
attention - but how do you tell a bird not to fly? Being in the limelight is who I am!
Consequently, I grew up feeling guilty about being myself, programmed to believe that
it was wrong to be myself.
On top of the guilt we carry from our childhood, guilt also comes from challenging life
events such as the death of a loved one, an animal running away, or other things that
are totally out of our control.
And then we have guilt that is authentic by our own wrong-doings that happen over
the course of our lives. This is unavoidable as no one is perfect, but we must learn to
process guilt in order to free our energy and cut down on fear.
We all have made mistakes before, and yet we’re still here, and we survived the
incident. If you look back to your past, did anything bad actually happen in the end?
How do you feel now about what happened then? Does it bother you now when you
look back on it? Likely, the intensity has died down quite a bit.
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Time is not only a great healer, but it also allows us to see the big scheme of life. Some
mistakes that you felt guilt over at the time may have been the best thing that could
have ever happened to you. Think about this because guilt blocks passion and
creativity. Guilt blocks vital life flow of productivity and the freedom to feel purposeful,
to take action, and to have wonderful relationships and experiences.
So rather than drowning yourself in pity and remorse, use it as your own spirit guide to
learn, grow, and evolve… and then release it! How can you do what’s right? Can you
amend it? Remember, you are gifted with the beauty of grace, and it’s using this gift
that gives you freedom from fear and anxiety.
Exercise 3.
Write down 10 things that you feel guilty for over the course of your life. Don't judge your
answers or make excuses for them. Just list: I feel guilty for...
On a separate piece of paper, write one long paragraph about how you feel when
you experience guilt. Be sure to be aware of the various sensations you might have;
tightening of your stomach, nervousness, disappointment, etc.
Below that paragraph, write another long paragraph about how you feel when you
experience forgiveness. Here, I want you to get into the sensation of peace. So if you
have had a hard time forgiving yourself, imagine what it feels like when you offer
another person forgiveness and grace. This is a practice of self-love we can become
better at. What do forgiveness and grace feel like? Be as descriptive as possible.
Affirmation: I forgive myself and others.
9
Nurturing Your Self-Worth
When you’re feeling anxious, stressed, or drained… how do you take care of yourself?
Did you know that doing self-care practices that honor your true feelings is a powerful
step towards healing?
If you’re like most people, then you probably try to cure these negative emotions with
things like mani-pedis, flowers, or treating yourself with your favorite comfort food.
And while all these things are nice and soothing, most people also forget that self-care
also comes from self-worth.
Why? Because you can’t practice self-care without truly believing you deserve all these
good things in the first place.
This is why it’s so important to tackle the root cause of your fear and stress and make
sure you’re not going on shopping sprees as a quick fix to mask them rather than as
part of an authentic self-care regimen.
Exercise 4.
Ask yourself these 10 questions to get to know yourself a bit better and nurture your selfworth.
1. What am I not saying, but needs to be said?
2. Do I feel unheard or left out?
3. What fear am I afraid to face?
4. Am I holding onto resentment or guilt?
5. Do I have an abundance mindset?
6. Do my everyday choices bring me long-term fulfillment or simply instant gratification?
7. Do I use situations to grow and evolve, or to beat myself up?
8. Have I said something gentle and loving to myself in the last hour or even day?
9. Am I appreciative of all the things in my life?
10. What does self-care really mean?
Self-care sometimes means taking a long, deep breath. Sometimes it’s just shutting
down your computer.
Sometimes it’s a good cry, and other times it’s going deeper into your core and facing
your fears. But regardless of what it means for you, make sure to honor yourself today.
Affirmation: I am worthy of all that the Universe has to offer.
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Letting Go Of Shame
Shame is that emotion when you want to tuck yourself into a tight little ball, roll into a
dark corner, and disappear. It makes you feel unworthy, unlovable, and like an outcast.
Shame is a close cousin of guilt but has a deeper connection to your self-worth. Enough
shame can even make you question your existence. This is the breeding zone for fear
and anxiety.
As shame and vulnerability author and speaker Brene Brown says, “The difference
between shame and guilt is the difference between ‘I am bad’ and ‘I did something
bad.” No one is exempt from feelings of shame. Even though it can teach us valuable
lessons, it can also destroy our spirits, especially when we don't know our value or are
unable to present our core identity with confidence and strength.
Recovering from shame and rebuilding self-esteem and self-love takes time and
patience — but it can be done.
However, you need a safe environment to process shame.
Are there still people in your life who reinforce your shame? It might be your parents
who continue to say and do things to control, belittle, or hurt you. Sometimes our shame
leads us to be in relationships with people who repeat the dynamics we experienced in
childhood.
Our spouses or partners, and even some friends might unconsciously or consciously
reinforce our feelings of shame. Understand, you have a choice to be in relationships
that are emotionally healthy.
You can avoid immature, dysfunctional people and choose to surround yourself with
supportive, understanding, and loving people instead. If you’re married to someone
who triggers your shame, go to counseling together so your partner can better
understand your history of shame, and you can create boundaries to protect yourself.
Being devoted to yourself and expressing your feelings to others is a wonderful route to
healing. So work to rediscover your value and worth. The more confident you become
in who you are, the less fear can trap you in its vicious cycle.
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Exercise 5.
For this exercise, you’ll need a partner. Choose a person you trust and find a positive
quality within yourself that you can sense is also present in your partner. Then say: The
presence of _________ in me recognizes the presence of __________ in you.
Now both take a moment (even just a few seconds) to register this, and then it’s your
partner’s turn to say something in the form of: The presence of _________ in me
recognizes the presence of __________ in you.
Examples include:
●
●
●
●
●
The presence of caring in me recognizes the presence of caring in you.
The presence of happiness in me recognizes the presence of happiness in you.
The presence of loving being in wilderness in me recognizes the presence of
loving being in wilderness in you.
The presence of being silly in me recognizes the presence of being silly in you.
The presence of strength in me recognizes the presence of strength in you.
It’s OK to name good qualities in yourself or the other person without false
modesty or fears of flattery. These are facts, not compliments. And it’s OK if these
qualities are not present all the time; perhaps they are deep down, even
covered over, and would be served by calling them out.
This exercise can be very powerful, so enjoy and let sink in the beautiful feelings
that it brings up.
Affirmation: I am enough.
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Letting Go Of Grief
Some of the biggest fears in life are the fear of loss, heartache, and grief. We fear not
being able to handle the pain, and we fear being abandoned and left alone to deal
with life. We fear that no one will love us.
If you have been hurt by love before, you know the pain of grief. It is one of the
deepest emotions we can experience, and it will take you to the depths of your soul.
And because grief is an effect of love, we often choose to close our hearts to avoid
getting hurt and losing that love. When we shut down in an attempt to protect
ourselves, and we block energy from flowing, this causes more fear. But this fear also
blocks the attraction and flow of other people and experiences in your life.
Now, when we think of grief, we usually think of sadness from losing a loved one. Yet we
can experience this sadness with the loss of a job, which can lead to loss of identity… or
losing our home. Grief is a common, but often under-expressed emotion that is part of
most of the change that happens in your life, and it should be honored.
Even though grief is a natural, healthy response to any type of loss in your life, the
emotions that accompany grief are often unexpected, confusing, and overwhelming;
they can even disrupt your physical and spiritual health. There are no right or wrong
ways to grieve, but there are healthy ways to cope with the pain and let go of the past.
Two of the healthiest ways to survive the grieving process is to learn what it means to let
go of a loved one and feel compassion. In contrast to grief, letting go is accepting loss,
surrendering, and moving into a new season of your life. Letting go is releasing your
attachment to someone or something in your past.
I deeply believe that compassion is the healing antidote for grief. While there is no
timeline on how long a person should grieve any kind of loss or heartache, we can
begin to allow compassion to comfort us and others. Compassion is best coupled with
action. In fact, compassion is care in action.
Doing self-love practices that honor your true feelings is a powerful step toward healing.
The more you do this practice, the further away fear will live.
Exercise 7.
Practicing open-hearted love means allowing love and other emotions to be real and
present regardless of what we are receiving from others. For this exercise, write or
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record an audio on your phone, where you speak your true feelings without any regard
for what you may be "getting" from the person or experience. You will do this practice
about someone who has hurt you emotionally or a loss you've experienced, such as
death or divorce.
Focus only on the positive aspects of what this relationship or experience gave to you.
As if you were speaking to the person directly, tell them how much you loved them, or
liked them, respected them, and remember the good things about your time with
them. Let out as much of the wonderful memories and love that you feel.
Affirmation: I am gentle with myself as I heal.
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Connecting With Your Inner Truth
One of the deepest fears we face is the fear of rejection. Yet this fear of rejection stops
you from:
Giving your opinion… just in case someone gets offended.
Being yourself… just in case someone doesn’t like the “real” you.
Saying “no” to a request… because you don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings.
And, most importantly, this strong desire for approval is at the root of the fear of anxiety.
So what do we mistakenly do to feel loved and accepted? We hide our true selves
behind lies.
Yet lying creates separation, mistrust, and fear of the disconnection from our own truth.
These lies can become so harmful that we begin to detach from our authentic
emotions and experiences within.
This fear of rejection is connected directly to our feelings of low self-worth. When we
can't acknowledge and process our own shame and feelings of low self-worth, we
begin to lie to ourselves, which is detrimental to our physical and emotional health.
When we lie to suppress our real feelings, we do it to hide our vulnerability. We don't
want anyone to know the truth because if they see how weak, hurt, ashamed,
embarrassed, out of control, or miserable we feel and we think, it will only confirm what
we believe is their perception of us in the first place. So we lie. And this disconnects you
even more from your inner truth.
Speaking the truth is difficult, but necessary for healthy energy flow and to remove the
energy of fear from our lives. The more we are in our integrity, the more power we have
over fear.
Now, I’m not suggesting that fear is an automatic cause of lying… more so, an
invitation to be as honest as you can be with your feelings and accepting your reality
can make you stronger, not fearful. Fear cannot stand in the face of truth, not even a
panic attack. If you feel anxiety starting to creep in, speak to it, and tell it what’s really
going on. Release your feelings and say what is real. Shine some light on it and watch it
little by little fading away.
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Exercise 8.
For this exercise, make sure you’re alone and in a safe and private space.
Pick one of two people with whom you have difficulty feeling "yourself" around. Imagine
those people are in the space with you. For at least 5-10 minutes, speak out loud to
them and tell them exactly how you feel. Tell them who you are. If it's your father who
doesn't approve of your career or relationships, tell him with integrity who you really are
and why it's important.
Tell him how you have felt for all of these years trying to hide your truth and that you will
not hide it any longer. Tell your boss of your value and worth. Tell your friend or sibling
that you're sorry for the wrong that you did - own it. Whatever the circumstances, use
this time to fully express yourself. This exercise is not to blame anyone, rather an exercise
to connect with your truth and own it. It may require you to be humble, yet strong, and
trust yourself that you are worthy, even when you make mistakes or lie to yourself. Allow
yourself to vent, but just make sure it is the truth.
Affirmation: I have the courage to speak my heart.
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Connecting With Source
Disconnection from our soul is the cause of much of our suffering. It's also the cause of
much of our fear. Like root energy, when we don't feel supported by something greater
than ourselves, we can get very anxious and stressed out. Although our minds can't
understand the realm of existence beyond the physical, there's a part of us that has full
awareness of it, and it is this part of us, our soul, which requires connection and trust in
the metaphysical connection to Source. When we aren't strong in our spiritual
connection, we have a sense of anxiety.
To trust the flow of life and all that comes with it is to trust the connection of our physical
being to our spiritual source and higher consciousness. It is here where we strengthen
our sense of purpose, belonging, and safety.
When we are disconnected from Source (God, the Universe, our higher power), we are
disconnected from our own divine power.
When we are connected to our higher sense of self and to our sense of divinity in the
spiritual world, we feel safe and fulfilled. We feel part of something bigger than our lives
here on earth; we’re no longer alone.
This is why connection is one of the most important elements of living free of fear. When
we are connected to our higher power, God, our Source, we are able to have a
deeper understanding and wider perspective of life.
Exercise 9.
Today, set aside 10-15 minutes in silence to connect with Source. This is similar to prayer
or meditation but more interactive.
For the first five minutes, allow yourself to sit in absolute quiet. You may set a soft alarm
or chime to go off at the end of this short session. You may also have a fan or water
fountain on if that helps you to relax. Otherwise, put away all distractions.
In the first five minutes, say Thank You to Source, God, your angels, the Universe, or
whomever you connect within a higher consciousness. In the gratitude prayer, express
thanks for your life, your health, your body, your friends, your job, and your family. Offer
thanks for your skills and talents, and for hope and love. Use the mindfulness of gratitude
to connect your fears into pure light energy. Keep this up until the bell chimes.
Set another bell for the next 5-10 minutes. During this time, ask for guidance during the
first 2-3 minutes, and the rest of the time, simply listen. That's all. Ask for names, ask for
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direction, for peace, for connection, for whatever you feel you need to support you. Be
specific. Do not bring up anything else besides guidance and support. And listen. You
may have a piece of paper nearby to jot down the information you receive or blessings
you wish to remember.
Affirmation: I am love. I am light. I am divine.
****
Without a doubt, fear can make you feel trapped and hopeless, but also it can
motivate you to get to know yourself on a deeper level, igniting more understanding,
growth, and compassion. I hope this mini-guide has helped you in your journey towards
healing and that you continue referring back to it anytime you need a bit of support.
And remember… “Love works in ways that are wondrous and strange. There’s nothing
in life that love cannot change.” ~ Helen Steiner Rice.
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