Conversation Starters
Here's another serious conversation topic. You can get a lot of speaking practice by
asking good follow-up questions, so don't worry if you don't answer all of these
questions!
1. Do you know anyone who has gotten divorced?
2. Is divorce increasing in your country?
3. Why do you think there is more divorce in some countries than in others?
4. What are the main causes of divorce, in your opinion?
5. Do you think unhappy couples who are parents should stay together "for the
children"?
6. What do you think the effect of divorce is on children?
7. Would you date someone who has already been married and divorced?
Discussion Questions
Now come the tougher discussion questions! Take your time in answering and you
will have great English conversations!
1. What can married couples do to try to avoid a divorce?
2. Do you think marriage counseling can help unhappy couples stay together? Why
or why not?
3. Would you ever consider getting a divorce or would you stay married "til death
do you part"?
4. How should a couple's belongings be divided after a divorce? Should it be 5050, or should the wife get more?
5. Do you think divorce would be less common if couples lived together before
marriage
The bar charts show the amountof marriagesand divorces in the USA from 1970 to
2000, and the percentage of the marital status of adult Americans in 1970 and
2000. Overall, the number of marriagesslightly dropped and the number of
divorces was around a half of the number of marriages. When comparing the
marital status in 1970 and 2000, the percentage of married and widowed were
decreasing, whereas the percentage of the never married and divorced were
increasing. The amount of people who were marriages in 1970 and 1980 were
staying constant at 2.5 million people, after that it slightly dropped to 2 million
people in 2000. The amount of divorces started at 1 million people in 1970 and it
increased to nearly 1.5 million people in 1980, and then it slightly dropped to 1
million people in 2000. When comparing the proportion of marital status in 1970
and 2000. The married fallen from 70% to nearly 60% and the widowed was
decreasing around 1%. On the other hand
, the never married and the divorced increased from around 15% to 20% and from
around 2% to nearly 10% respectively.
In some parts of the world, the rate of divorce has increased dramatically over
the past few decades.
Explain some possible reasons for this problem and suggest some solutions.
Model Answer:
In many countries, divorce has reached epic proportions, and this has caused many
social issues. This essay will first discuss how gender equality and domestic
violence are the primary causes of this grave problem, followed by a discussion on
how conjugal appreciation and understanding are the most effective solution to this
problem.
One cause of the rise in the divorce rate is women empowerment. Women today
have a strong presence in the workforce, so they no longer depend on their spouses
in order for support. This independence encourages them to end an unhappy
marriage. As a recent study exposed nations with more women in their labour
market, receiving good salaries, the divorce rate is high. Similarly, in households
where the woman earns more, divorce is also common. The risk of divorce rises by
37% when wives earn more than husbands and many recent surveys affirm that ego
plays a vital role in this. Another reason, which is as strong as women
empowerment, is domestic violence. In simple words, when married couples have
frequent fights and quarrels, they are prone to lose respect for each other. Such
violence tends to end the relationship in the long run.
The best solution to this problem of divorce is to honour and respect the partner.
People tend to change over the course of time. Appreciating, understanding, and
adapting to those transformations are crucial for any relationship. In fact, people
should spend quality time with their partners so that they can understand each other
and thereby bridging the gap between them. This, in turn, contributes to the
healthiness of the relationship. In addition to this, appreciation is another effective
antidote for divorce. A couple that compliments each other on daily basis for small
and big things eventually promotes a culture of gratitude within their marriage.
This is of incredible importance for a couple to remain happy and their marriage to
thrive.
In conclusion, many marital relationships end in separation because of women
empowerment and domestic violence. However, if couples devote quality time to
understand each other as well as appreciate each other, the issue can be alleviated
to a great extent.
In some parts of the world, the rate of divorce has increased dramatically over the
past few decades. Explain some possible reasons for this problem and suggest
some solutions.
Over the past few years, the divorce rate has increased at an alarming rate. Stress,
breakdown of joint families and power struggle are the major causes of this
situation. Although, these issues have led to a rise in the divorce rate, there are
ways to resolve the problem.
Firstly, stress in the workplace is the biggest cause of divorce. Nowadays, jobs are
very demanding, and people spend long hours at the workplace compared to the
past. This means that they spend less time at home with their families; hence, there
is no room for affection and this eventually leads to break-up.
Another factor contributing to the rise in separation is the notion of superiority
amongst couples. Earlier, people were humble to each other and men were the sole
breadwinners in the household. On the other hand, today both are independent and
dominating and thus pay less heed to their partner’s advice which impacts the
foundation of marriage. A recent article / report published by the Times of India
stated an increase in the divorce rates by 30% in the year 2019 amongst the youth
due to irreconcilable differences and ego clashes.
Fortunately, there are ways to solve this problem. People should focus on work life
balance at the workplace by taking up less demanding jobs. Also, they should
respect their partner’s view point and should opt for healthy discussions instead of
the arguments.
In conclusion, there are many circumstances that lead to stress and problems in
marriage. However, if people choose to lead a balanced life and are more tolerant
of each other, it can result in a better and strong marital bond.
Divorce – Vocabulary
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Get a divorce: we become divorced
 We’re getting a divorce. We need to get a divorce. I want to get a divorce.
File for divorce: submit the legal paperwork to become divorced
File the paperwork: submit the legal files
Grounds for divorce: reasons to get divorced
Clean split: the divorce process went smoothly
Collateral damage: the people who get hurt who are not involved in the divorce
Messy divorce: lots of arguing, disagreeing and interruptions in the divorce
process
Dragged on for some time: negative, took a long time to complete, goes very
slowly
Get custody: gaining the right of the protective care of someone or something
 One person takes care of the person or thing
Shared custody: sharing the right of the protective care of someone or something
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You both have to take care of the kids/ things
How to use it:
“I think it took a year from the moment they said that they were getting a divorce
to the moment they finally filed the paperwork. It wasn’t messy, but it was
expensive.”
“They had a fairly clean split – and thankfully their children still get to see both
their parents often.”
Divorce – Culturally
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Taboo: topics that most people don’t feel comfortable talking about, may not talk
about them at all
Not that it’s not serious: it is serious
Amicable reasons: may not be “friendly” but without disagreement or problems
Not working out anymore: not going smoothly,
Social networks: websites online to meet and talk to people, possibly date
Divorcees: a person who is divorced
Gone through a divorce: completed the divorce process
The younger you are, the more likely you are to…
 The lower your age, the higher the possibility that you are to do something
 The longer you listen to loud music, the more likely you are to hurt your ears.
How to use it:
“I think it’s pretty normal to meet people in their 40s or 50s who have been
through a divorce. I think it’s probably more surprising to meet people who are still
together.”
“I think I know two or three people in their twenties who are already divorced, all
of them married right after university.”
Baggage
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Physical baggage: luggage, suitcases
Has to do with your past: it’s about your past
A crazy ex: an old partner or person in your life that you were romantically
involved with who causes a lot of trouble in your life
A lot of problems = a lot of issues
Carefree: doesn’t have any worries or problems to think about
Difficult to let go of: hard to stop thinking or worrying about
Getting over that: forgiving and forgetting a problem
How to use it:
“I hate to be harsh, but if she’s got this crazy ex who hates seeing her with a new
boyfriend, there’s no way you guys can have a healthy relationship with that kind
of baggage.”
“Baggage feels inevitable as you get older, you can’t expect people not to live their
lives before they meet you.”
Widowed
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Someone has passed away: someone has died
Widow a female whose partner has died
Widower: a male person whose partner has died
Unlikely to get remarried: probably will not get married again
How to use it:
“Her husband passed away away about 10 years ago. I think she’s finally getting
back out there, meeting new people, but no doubt it’s been hard.”
“She’s actually the window of a famous businessman, and I think she inherited his
fortune after he passed away.”
Extra note: Both Mark and I thought about it later and many people also use “my
late husband/wife” for a partner who has passed away. This is probably the most
common.
Step-Family
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Step-parent: the new person your parent married
Step-kids: the kids of your partner (not your children)
Step brothers/sisters: not related by blood but by marriage
half-brothers/sisters: siblings who have one parent in common
 Same mom or same dad
Biological father: the father you were born to
Pick up on the fact that: realize something
How to use it:
“Well, now that my mom’s gotten remarried, I technically have two step-siblings,
and a step-dad, but I don’t really think of them that way. I usually just call him
“my mom’s husband”. ”I remember we moved to my new step-father’s house. It
was a little strange at first, and I still call him by his first name, but we have a
healthy relationship.”
What is divorce like in your country? Do you know anyone who has gotten
remarried? You can practice the vocabulary in the comments below
Thanks,
Kat and Mark
DIVORCE VOCABULARY
January 21st, 2013
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Posted by Melissa Graham-Hurd
Tags: definitions, terminology
Because the law is a profession, there are specialized terms for processes,
procedures, events, and even people. Ohio family lawyer Melissa GrahamHurd seeks to enhance your ability to understand this process happening to you by
providing definitions of common terms used in Family Law.
Action: the legal term for a lawsuit
Affidavit: a written statement sworn to under oath and signed before a Notary
Public
Allegation: statement contained in a pleading or affidavit
Allocation of Parental Rights and Responsibilities: “custody”; the legal right
and responsibility awarded by a court for the care, possession and rearing of a
child; can be sole allocation or shared parenting; applies between parents.
Answer: the second pleading in an action, which admits or denies allegations of
the Complaint
Appeal: process whereby a higher court reviews the orders of the lower court
Appearance: a party’s method of telling the court that he/she submits to
jurisdiction
Change of Venue: a change of the place within the state where the case is heard
Child Support: financial support paid for children, non-taxable to recipient, nondeductible to payor
Complaint: the first pleading in a case, setting forth the allegations on which the
requested relief is based
Contempt of Court: willful and intentional failure to abide by a court’s order;
punishable in a number of ways, including fines, jail sentences, etc.
Contested case: any case where a court must decide one or more issues
Court order: written document issued by a court; effective when signed by
judge/magistrate and filed with Clerk; the Court only speaks through its written
orders.
Cross-examination: the questioning of a witness by the opposition at a hearing or
deposition
Custody: now called the Allocation of Parental Rights and Responsibilities, as
between parents. “Legal custody” as a concept applies to persons who are not the
child’s parents, but are responsible for raising the child by a Court’s order.
Defendant: person being sued by Plaintiff
Deposition: one of the discovery procedures: testimony of a witness taken under
oath and out of court but recorded by a court reporter
Direct examination: initial questioning of a witness by the person calling the
witness
Discovery: process of gathering information relevant to the case; can be by means
of Interrogatories, Deposition, Request for Production, etc.
Emancipation: the point when a child is treated as an adult; usually 18 and out of
high school
Evidence: testimony, documents or other material offered to the court to prove or
disprove the allegations
Ex parte: without the other side being present
Grounds: the reason alleged for granting the complaint
Guardian ad Litem: person appointed by the Court to report his/her opinion as to
the child’s best interests
Hearing: proceeding before the court for the purpose of resolving disputed issues
by decision of the court
Hold harmless: a situation in which one spouse assumes liability for a debt and
promises to protect the other from any loss or expense in connection with it
Indemnification: the promise to reimburse the other for losses incurred after a
promise to hold harmless;
Interrogatories: one of the available discovery procedures: a series of written
questions served on opposing party to discover facts; answered under oath
Jurisdiction: the authority of the court to rule on matters and issues presented
Magistrate’s Order/Decision: written document prepared by the court after a
hearing, but not a final order of the court
Marital Property: income or property earned or acquired during the marriage;
everything else except “separate property”
Mediation: process by which a neutral third party facilitates negotiation between
the parties; is not arbitration (decision-making) but helping the parties make
decisions together
Motion: a written application to the court for relief
Notice: document served on the other side giving notice of time and date of a
hearing, an address, etc.
Order: the court’s written ruling on issues; requires the parties to do things stated;
sets forth parties’ responsibilities; effective when signed and filed with Clerk
Parenting Time: “visitation”; schedule for children’s time with parents
Party: the people named in the action whose rights or interests will be affected by
the orders
Plaintiff: the party who files the Complaint, the first pleading
Pleading: formal; written application to the court for relief and response to it;
complaints, answers, counterclaims, replies, and motions are all pleadings
Pro se: person who goes to court representing himself/herself
Relief: what the party asks the court to do in his/her pleadings
Reply: the answer to a counterclaim
Request for Production of Documents: one of the discovery procedures: a list of
documents to be produced within a fixed period of time, usually 28 days after the
Request is served
Restraining Order: a court order forbidding a party from doing an act that is
likely to cause harm to another party or a child
Rules: the rules that govern the conduct of the court (Civil Rules), presentation of
evidence (Rules of Evidence) and the organization of the Courts (Rules of
Superintendence), all issued by the Ohio Supreme Court; each locality also has the
ability to issue Local Rules
Separate property: property belonging to only one spouse; property owned prior
to marriage, sometimes after separation; property received by inheritance or gift to
just that one spouse
Separation Agreement: the agreement of the parties reduced to writing or placed
on the record in open court and made a part of the court’s order
Set Off: when parties each owe sums of money to each other, a debt of one spouse
deducted from the debt of the other spouse
Settlement: the agreed resolution of the disputed items
Show Cause: written application to the court for a holding of contempt
Spousal Support: the new term for “alimony”; support paid from one party to
another; taxable to the recipient and deductible by the payor.
Stipulation: agreement between the parties as to a fact or series of facts
Subpoena: a document served on a party or witness requiring appearance at court;
Subpoena Duces Tecum requires the person subpoenaed to bring documents to
court with him/her.
Summons: a written notification that a legal action has commenced and requires a
response within a fixed time period
Temporary motions: application to the court for interim relief; typical are
requests for parenting, support, and use of property during the pendency of the
action
Testimony: statements made under oath by a witness
Transcript: a typewritten record of testimony of a witness
Trial: a formal court hearing before a Judge to decide disputed issues
Visitation: now called “Parenting Time” as between parents; Visitation is still
granted to people who are not parents, such as grandparents, relatives, other
persons who can show that they have an abiding interest in the welfare of the child,
have a history of interaction with the child and have continued contact with the
child.
Divorce Glossary
By Amy Vandervort-Clark, J.D. | Legally reviewed by Melissa Bender, Esq. | Last
reviewed June 21, 2023
Legally Reviewed
Fact-Checked
Divorce can be a confusing process. It is a legal process with its own terms and
special meanings. The following is a divorce glossary of terms and phrases to help
you navigate the process.
Affidavit. A written statement that is sworn to be accurate by the person making
the statement in front of a court official or notary public.
Alimony. A court order for financial payments made to help support a spouse or
former spouse during separation or following divorce. It may be permanent or only
for a set period of time or paid in a lump sum. Also called spousal
support or spousal maintenance.
Alternative dispute resolution (ADR). Methods of resolving legal disputes
without going to trial, in a less confrontational manner, such as
through arbitration or mediation.
Annulment. A legal declaration that a marriage was never valid, the couple was
never married, and they do not need a divorce. Reasons for annulment may include
being under the age of consent, bigamy, being unable to consent because of
intoxication, mental illness, or developmental disorder, or being lied to or forced to
marry.
Arrearage. The amount of money that is past due for support payments,
either child or spousal support. A court action may be needed to order payment.
The paying spouse may be held in contempt of court.
Child support. Money that a non-custodial parent pays to the custodial parent for
their minor child(ren)'s care and support.
Child support guidelines. Guidelines established by state law that dictate
how child support must be calculated. Generally, it is based on the income of the
parents and the needs of the children.
Child custody. Having rights to your child. Custody can be either legal, which
means that you have the right to make important decisions about your child's
welfare, or physical, which means that the child lives with and is raised by you.
Cohabitation. The term for when a romantic couple lives together but is not
married.
Contested divorce. A divorce in which the couple does not agree on the terms,
such as child custody, division of property and assets, or financial support.
Community property. Property, assets, and debts that a married couple owns
jointly and equally. Not every state recognizes community property.
Decree. The court's written order or decision finalizing the divorce, often issued in
conjunction with the court's judgment. This is a legal document that gives you the
details of your divorce.
Default. Failing to answer a petition or complaint for divorce. Failing to file an
answer or appear in court as required can result in the court awarding everything
requested by the filing spouse.
Defendant. The person against whom legal papers are filed. Sometimes referred to
as the respondent in a divorce case.
Deposition. Part of the discovery or information-exchanging process of a legal
proceeding, in which the attorney for the other party asks you questions, you
answer with your attorney present, and a transcript of the proceedings is prepared.
Discovery. The information-exchanging process during legal proceedings,
including serving and answering interrogatories and requests for production of
documents, and taking depositions.
Dissolution. A legal term that is another word for divorce, which is the legal
termination of a marriage relationship.
Divorce. A legal action that terminates a marriage relationship.
Domestic violence. Physical abuse or threats of abuse, sexual abuse, emotional
abuse, psychological manipulation, and financial abuse occurring between
members of the same household. Sometimes called “intimate partner abuse." If you
are experiencing domestic violence or you feel unsafe with your partner, please
seek help. Victims are most at risk when they are pregnant or are leaving the
relationship. Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE
(7233).
Equitable distribution. A division of property that is fair in view of all of the
circumstances. Equitable does not necessarily mean equal.
Ex parte. An order, ruling, or judgment by the court is made with only one party
being present. An example of this may be an emergency protection or restraining
order.
Fault divorce. When one spouse files for divorce because the other spouse has
done something that warrants the end of the marriage. Reasons may include
adultery, abandonment, abuse or cruelty, or impotence. Fault divorces are rare, and
the respondent spouse can defend themselves from the accusations in court.
Guardian ad litem (GAL). A legal representative appointed by the family court to
protect the best interest of minor children. Often a GAL is appointed when
allegations of abuse or neglect are made during a divorce or other legal
proceedings.
Interrogatories. Written questions that are served by the opposing party that must
be answered in a written statement as part of the discovery process.
Joint legal custody. The sharing, by both parents, of the right to make important
decisions about a child's welfare.
Joint physical custody. The sharing, by both parents, of the actual physical care
and custody of a child.
Legal advice. Guidance given by an attorney to a client about the client's legal
rights and the law around their case. Legal advice can only be given by an attorney
to a client.
Legal custody. The right to make important decisions about the raising of your
child on issues such as health care, religious upbringing, education, etc.
Marital property. Generally, all property acquired during the marriage.
Mediation. A form of alternative dispute resolution (ADR) for resolving legal
disputes without going to trial, by the use of a trained and impartial third party who
attempts to bring the parties together in mutual agreement.
No-fault divorce. A petitioner does not have to prove the other spouse did
anything wrong when ending their marriage. A divorce is filed because of
“irreconcilable differences", or the marriage is said to be “irretrievably broken."
This is the most common type of divorce.
Non-custodial parent. The parent who does not have physical custody of the
child(ren).
Non-marital property. Generally, property owned by either spouse prior to
marriage or acquired by them individually, such as by gift or inheritance, during
the marriage.
Petitioner. Often, the person who initiates divorce or
marriage dissolution proceedings. Also called the plaintiff in court proceedings.
Physical custody. The day-to-day rights and responsibilities associated with
having your child in your home and being responsible for his or her care and
upbringing.
Plaintiff. The person who initiates legal proceedings, often called the petitioner in
family law matters.
Premarital agreement. An agreement entered into before marriage that sets forth
each party's rights and responsibilities should the marriage terminate by death or
divorce. Also called a prenuptial agreement.
Prenuptial agreement. An agreement entered into before marriage that sets out
each party's rights and responsibilities should the marriage end by death or divorce.
Also called a premarital agreement.
Property division. The dividing up of community property from the marriage. The
couple may decide on how to divide the property or the judge will make a decision
on how to fairly divide the property between the couple. Property division does not
have to be an equal division. One spouse may be given more than the other.
Pro se. Representing oneself in court. Not having an attorney represent you.
Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO). Often pronounced "kwah-dro," an
order issued by the court to divide retirement benefits.
Respondent. The person who answers a petition in a legal proceeding. Sometimes
also referred to as the defendant.
Restraining order. An order issued by the court requiring the subject of the order
to refrain from doing something, often issued in conjunction with domestic
violence or custody disputes.
Separate property. Property that a spouse owned before the marriage or was
given to that spouse only and not the couple during the marriage. This does not
have to be actual property.
Separation agreement. Prior to or instead of a divorce, a legal contract is made to
address support, custody, property, and other legal issues. It can be incorporated
into a divorce.
Service of process. Legally notifying a defendant or respondent about a judicial
proceeding. A process server or Sheriff's office will hand the paperwork to the
person or lay them in their general area. Often simply called serving or being
served. The receiving party may sign a waiver of service.
Settlement conference. A meeting at which the parties and their lawyers attempt
to settle the case before trial, often ordered by the court.
Sole custody. When one parent is granted both legal and physical custody of the
minor children
Split custody. A form of custody (generally not looked upon favorably) in which
some or one of the parties' children is/are in the custody of one parent, and the
remaining child(ren) is/are in the custody of the other parent.
Spousal support or maintenance. Financial payments made to help support a
spouse or former spouse during separation or following divorce. Also
called alimony.
Stipulation. An agreement entered into by the divorcing spouses that settles the
issues between them and is often entered into the court's final order or judgment
and decree.
Subpoena. A court order for you to appear in court or to produce certain
documents or other evidence. Refusing to follow the subpoena will leave you open
to contempt of court charges, fines, or even jail time.
Uncontested divorce. A divorce where the parties agree on all the terms.
Visitation. The time that a noncustodial parent spends with his or her child(ren).
Sometimes known as access.