Technical Communication and Writing Session VI What are we going to discuss today? Faults… Only Faults… And nothing but Faults Source of Info: Technical Communication 12th edition Mike Markel Stuart A. Selber 9 Things to Remember About: Avoid sentence fragments. Avoid comma splices. Avoid run-on sentences. Avoid ambiguous pronoun references. Compare items clearly. Use adjectives clearly. Maintain subject-verb agreement. Maintain pronoun-antecedent agreement. Use tenses correctly. Avoid….: 1) ….sentence fragment = incomplete sentence missing a verb/independent clause: Plotting program with clipboard plotting, 3D animation, and FFTs. It is a plotting program with clipboard plotting, 3D animation, and FFTs. The article was rejected for publication. Because the data could not be verified. The article was rejected for publication because the data could not be verified. 2) and 3)….run-on sentence (two independent clauses appear together with no punctuation between them) and comma splices: The 909 printer is our most popular model it offers an unequaled blend of power and versatility. A comma, a coordinating conjunction, a semicolon, or a period or another form of terminal punctuation will help to solve this problem. Avoid Ambiguous Pronoun References 1. Clarify the pronoun’s antecedent. UNCLEAR Remove the cell cluster from the medium and analyze it. CLEAR Analyze the cell cluster after removing it from the medium. CLEAR Analyze the medium after removing the cell cluster from it. 2. Clarify the relative pronoun, such as which, introducing a dependent clause. UNCLEAR She decided to evaluate the program, which would take five months. 3. Clarify the subordinating conjunction, such as where, introducing a CLEAR She clause. decided to evaluate the program, a process that would take dependent five months. UNCLEAR This procedure will increase the handling of toxic materials outside the plant, where adequate safety measures can be taken. CLEAR This procedure will increase the handling of toxic materials outside the plant. Because safety measures be taken only in the plant, the 4. Clarify the adequate ambiguous pronoun that can begins a sentence. procedure poses risks. UNCLEAR Allophanate linkages are among the most important structural components of polyurethane elastomers. They act as cross-linking sites. CLEAR Allophanate linkages, which are among the most important structural components of polyurethane elastomers, act as crosslinking sites. Сomparing or Сontrasting items… A real threat and a headache for teachers… Trout eat more than minnows. The resistance of the copper wiring is lower than the tin wiring. Use Adjectives Clearly: In technical communication writers often need to use clusters of adjectives. To prevent confusion in technical communication, follow two guidelines: 1. Use commas to separate coordinate adjectives: portable, programmable device adjustable, removable housings 2. Use hyphens to link compound adjectives: a variable-angle accessory increased cost-of-living raises A long string of compound adjectives can be confusing even if you use hyphens appropriately. UNCLEAR an operator-initiated default-prevention technique CLEAR a technique initiated by the operator to prevent default Agreements…Just about Everything Subject and verb: • The result of the tests are promising. • The results of the test is promising. Pronoun and its antecedent: • The company is proud to announce a new stock option plan for their employees. • The inspection team have prepared their reports. TENSES…..NO COMMENT Effective Structuring… More serious than may initially seem… Structuring Effective Sentences Emphasize new and important information. Choose an appropriate sentence length. Focus on the “real” subject. Focus on the “real” verb. Use parallel structure. Use modifiers effectively. 3 Tips to Emphasize New and Important Info: TIP 1: Sentences are often easier to understand and more emphatic if new information appears at the end: Because of labor problems, we anticipate a three-week delay in production. We anticipate the three-week delay in production because of TIP 2: problems. labor Try not to end the sentence with qualifying information that blunts the impact of the new information: The joint could fail under special circumstances. Under special circumstances, the joint could fail. TIP 3: Put references to time and space at the beginning of the sentence: Since the last quarter of 2014, we have experienced an 8 percent turnover rate in personnel assigned to the project. On the north side of the building, water from the leaking pipes has damaged the exterior siding and the sheetrock on some interior walls. Choose an appropriate sentence length REMEMBER: An average of 15 to 20 words per sentence is effective for most technical communication. For long sentences: divide (one sentence—one big thing to mention): The construction of the new facility is scheduled to begin in March, but it might be delayed by one or even two months by winter weather conditions, which can make it impossible or nearly impossible to begin excavating the foundation. The construction of the new facility is scheduled to begin in March. However, construction might be delayed until April or even May by winter weather conditions, which can make it impossible or nearly impossible combine to beginto excavating the foundation. For short sentences: avoid needless repetitions of key terms: I have experience working with various microprocessor-based systems. Some of these microprocessor-based systems include the T90, RCA 9600, and AIM 7600. I have experience working with various microprocessor-based systems, including the T90, RCA 9600, and AIM 7600. Focus on the “real” subject. TIP 1: The conceptual, or “real,” subject of the sentence should also be the grammatical subject (at least give a try) Look for “of”-great indicator of a weak subject. The use of this method would eliminate the problem of motor damage. This method would eliminate the problem of motor damage. TIP 2: Reduce the number of grammatical expletives (it is, there is, etc.). There is no alternative for us except to withdraw the product. We have no alternative except to withdraw the product. Focus on “Real” Verb A common problem in technical communication is the inappropriate use of a nominalized verb: WEAK: Each preparation of the solution is done twice. STRONG: Each solution is prepared twice. WEAK: Consideration should be given to an acquisition of the properties. STRONG: We should consider acquiring the properties. BUT: Nominalizations often effectively summarize an idea from a previous sentence The telephone-service provider decided not to replace the land lines that were damaged in the recent storm. This decision could prove a real problem for those residents who used land lines to connect to the Internet and for their medical-alert services. Parallelism A sentence is parallel if its coordinate elements follow the same grammatical form. Our present system is costing us profits and reduces our productivity. Our present system is costing us profits and reducing our productivity. The compositor should follow the printed directions; do not change the originator’s work. TIP: The compositor should follow the printed and should Make sure that parallel items in a series dodirections not overlap not change the originator’s work The speakers will include partners of law firms, businesspeople, and civic leaders. The speakers will include businesspeople, civic leaders, and partners of law firms. We need to buy more lumber, hardware, tools, and hire the subcontractors. Modifiers…. TIP 1: Avoid Misplaced Modifiers: Only Turner received a cost-of-living increase last year. Turner received only a cost-of-living increase last year. Turner received a cost-of-living increase TIP Avoid Dangling Modifiers: only2:last year. Turnerto received a cost-of-living Trying solve the problem, theincrease instructions seemed last year only. unclear. As I was trying to solve the problem, the instructions seemed unclear. To initiate the procedure, theI thought BEGIN button Trying to solve the problem, the should be pushed. (indicative mood). instructions seemed unclear. To initiate the procedure, push the BEGIN button. (imperative mood). 3 Levels Of Formality: INFORMAL The Acorn 560 is a real screamer. With 5.5 GHz of pure computing power, it slashes through even the thickest spreadsheets before you can say 2 + 2 = 4. MODERATELY FORMAL With its 5.5-GHz microprocessor, the Acorn 560 can handle even the most complicated spreadsheets quickly. HIGHLY FORMAL With a 5.5-GHz microprocessor, the Acorn 560 is a high-speed personal computer appropriate for computation-intensive applications such as large, complex spreadsheets. Consider THREE issues: Audience, Subject, and Purpose To be clear: what is it? Use active and passive voice appropriately. Be specific. Avoid unnecessary jargon. Use positive constructions. Avoid long noun strings. Avoid clichés. Avoid euphemisms. Active vs Passive Tech Writing is NOT Academic Writing with its love to passive constructions! In most cases in Tech Writing, the active voice works better than the passive voice. The passive voice, however, is generally better in these four cases: When the agent is clear from the context; When the agent is unknown; When the agent is less important than the action; When a reference to the agent is embarrassing, dangerous, or in some other way inappropriate Be Specific…but how? Use precise words: A Ford Focus is an automobile, but it is also a vehicle, a machine, and a thing. What is better? Provide adequate detail: An engine on the plane experienced some difficulties. The left engine on the Cessna 310 temporarily lost power during Avoidflight. ambiguity: After stirring by hand for 10 seconds, add three drops of the iodine mixture to the solution. Stir the iodine mixture by hand for 10 seconds. Then add three drops to the solution. Stir the solution by hand for 10 seconds. Then add three drops of the iodine mixture. Unnecessary Jargon Can you give full forms to the following abbreviations: DR DM CPC CX LTV PM SMB WOM Imprecise, Confusing, Condescending, Intimidating Use Positive Constructions Because the team did not have sufficient time to complete the project, it was unable to produce a satisfactory report. Because the team had too little time to complete the project, it produced an unsatisfactory report. Avoid Long Noun Strings preregistration procedures instruction sheet update an update of the instruction sheet for preregistration procedures Problems with LNS Ambiguous The building contains a special incoming materials storage area. Pompous smoke-detection device smoke detector Clichés…Communication It's a win-winKillers! situation Run it up the flagpole Think outside the box Put your ducks in a row Grab the low-hanging fruit Push the envelope Drink the Kool-Aid Value-added Let's take this offline Actionable I don't have the bandwidth Put a pin in it Step up to the plate Breaking down silos Paradigm shift Going forward Put it in the pipeline Get granular Euphemisms: useless politeness… Big-boned Negative patient outcome Collateral damage Economical Letting someone go Between jobs Not the sharpest pencil in the box Air proximity incident Be concise Avoid obvious statements. Avoid unnecessary prepositional phrases. Avoid filler. Avoid wordy phrases. Avoid fancy words. Obvious Statements and Prepositional Phrases Obvious Statements The market for the sale of flash memory chips is dominated by two chip manufacturers: Intel and Advanced Micro Systems. These two chip manufacturers are responsible for 76 percent of the $1.3 billion market in flash memory chips last year. The market for flash memory chips is dominated by Intel and Advanced Micro Systems, two companies that claimed 76 percent of the $1.3 billion Prepositional industry last year. Unnecessary Phrases (in the summary, on the engine, and under the heading) The increase in the number of students enrolled in the materialsengineering program at Lehigh University is suggestive of the regard in which that program is held by the university’s new students. The increased enrollment in Lehigh University’s materialsengineering program suggests that the university’s new students consider it a good program. Avoid Fillers Group1: Basically, kind of, certain, rather, essentially, sort of, just, almost, really, slightly, absolutely, actually, very…..etc. I think that, basically, the board felt sort of betrayed, in a sense, by the kind of behavior the president displayed. The board felt betrayed by the president’s behavior. Group 2: Collaborate together, past history, end result, any and all, still remain, completely eliminate, and very unique. This project would not have succeeded if not for the hard work and considerable effort of each and every one of the auditors assigned to the project. This project would not have succeeded if not for the hard work of every one of the auditors assigned to the project. Wordy Phrases….just examples Fancy words…So funny in Tech Comm 6 Rules of Gender-Neutral Language: Rule 1: Replace male-gender words with non-gender-specific words. Chairman—chairperson or chair. Firemen—firefighters; policemen—police officers, etc. Rule 2: Switch to a different form of the verb. SEXIST The operator must pass rigorous tests before he is promoted. NONSEXIST The operator must pass rigorous tests before being promoted. Rule 3: Switch to the plural. NONSEXIST Operators must pass rigorous tests before they are promoted. Rule 4: Switch to he or she, he/she, s/he, or his or her. Rule 5: Address the reader directly. [You] Enter the serial number in the first text box. Rule 6 (QUESTIONABLE): Alternate he and she from one paragraph or section to the next . People-First Language for Referring to People with Why is it so important? Almost one inDisabilities five Americans — some 56 million people — has a physical, sensory, emotional, or mental impairment that interferes with daily life (U.S. Census Bureau, 2012). Simplified English for Nonnative Speakers Various Technical Organizations—Various Versions of Simplified English Vocabulary ASD-STE100 (STE) is a controlled language developed in the early Eighties (as AECMA Simplified English) to help the users of Englishlanguage maintenance documentation understand what they read. It was initially applicable to commercial aviation. Then, it became also a requirement for Defense projects, including Land and Sea vehicles. As a consequence, today, primary texts of maintenance manuals are mostly written in STE. ORIGINAL VERSION: Before filling the gas tank, it ishttp://www.asd-ste100.org/about.html necessary to turn off the propane line to the refrigerator. Failure to do so significantly increases the risk of explosion. SIMPLIFIED ENGLISH VERSION: Before you pump gasoline into the gas tank, turn off the propane line to the refrigerator. If you do not turn off the propane line, it could explode Writing for Readers from Other Cultures Limit your vocabulary Keep sentences short. Define abbreviations and acronyms in a glossary. Avoid jargon unless you know your readers are familiar with it. Avoid idioms and slang. Use the active voice whenever possible. Be careful with graphics. Be sure someone from the target culture reviews your document. Have you got any questions regarding our lecture today? Thank you very much for your active collaboration! Have a good day!
