Why Do I Keep Relapsing? 5 Pages to Break the Relapse Cycle By Arcane/Lance Indecision Indecision makes any positive decision into a painful experience. You have already made the positive decision to quit. The hackbook says not to question your decision to quit, but you don’t have to block out thoughts of questioning because these thoughts have a rational answer. Why should I use? Ask yourself. Rather than asking why you shouldn’t use. There’s infinite reasons to not use that you can work yourself up into a panic over, but there is ZERO reason to use. This fact never changes, and anything that tells you otherwise is obviously a lie. Fear Fear of a dark force that will one day overcome you and force you to use against your will. The beautiful truth is that this doesn’t exist. Well that’s not helpful! I still believe in it! I still fear it. Here’s why this doesn’t exist. Sexual arousal is a part of life, and is exactly that. Sexual. Porn is anti-sexual, as it destroys your ability to have sex, the very acts you are watching people partake in. A desire to have sex can fuel your positive decision to quit, in fact. Porn gets your even further away from sex than where you would have started from. I’m not saying to be promiscuous, but what I am saying is that nothing bad will happen if you just chose not to P, M, or O in the face of sexual urges. That’s the science of Karezza, and furthermore intimate relationships rooted in love. But that’s beside the point. You see, as humans, we have an intrinsic fear of doing nothing, and of course companies will weaponize this against us by selling us as much useless junk (and porn) as possible. Even that is besides the point, but there was an experiment done in which humans were sat in a room with absolutely nothing, except for a button that shocked whoever pressed it. Can you guess what the humans did? They chose to shock themselves. The beautiful truth is that nothing bad will happen if you choose not to press that self-harm button, in fact, each day you choose not to press that shock button, you’ll feel better than if you had done so. Stimulation isn’t always a good thing. Slitting my wrists is about as stimulating as watching porn. Or cutting off my head to cure the mental headache of being a user. This ties into Exiting Modernity. Doing less things isn’t the worst thing in the world, in fact it’s quite pleasant. Doubt Doubt of success. Firstly, this isn’t a success/fail matter. You simply made the positive decision to not do something that makes your life absolutely miserable. You did not have the misfortune of being stuck with an addictive personality at birth. Sorry I was born the wrong way, therefore I need to spend my life engaging in addictions, and even if I quit, I would have to find something else to get addicted to. Non-addictive things that are genuinely beneficial to you exist. You are not a pathetic porn-addicted fapstronaut who needs his dopamine, blood, and semen spilled to feel good about himself. In fact, those very things in tandem with self-defeating labels, rooted in fishing for self-congratulating empathy from other miserable people are causing you to be miserable. Fortunately, we can use this phoney science of labelling to our advantage. You are a non-user. You are a person who chose not to do the things that made you a miserable user, and feel better because you have quit. Nothing, except your masochistic self in the face of indecision rooted in lies, the ones you tell yourself based on incorrect information (which is debunked in the Easy Peasy Hackbook), can make you into a user again. Have some basic respect for yourself and your body would you?! Dopamine It all depends on your definition of enjoyment. If your definition of enjoyment is rooted entirely in hedonistic spikes of dopamine rewarded to you in exchange for accomplishing absolutely nothing, then you could probably say that it is enjoyable. But I argue, even if your definition of enjoyment is merely measured in dopamine, porn still isn’t enjoyable. When I cut myself, there’s blood spilled, but that doesn’t mean I’m getting more blood. It just means I am expending more of it. Dopamine is the same. You are spilling the dopamine that could have driven you to do something that could have genuinely fulfilled you, (and made you happy) into something that breeds self-loathing, and is a blatant form of self-harm. One that essentially lights years of your precious life on fire. Forgetting By reading a chapter per day, you are quite literally cultivating a healthy positive mindset but, you are absorbing positive ideas, on a continual, gradual, basis. On top of that, you are retaining your semen, and the negative effects of the last session are slowly fading, by that notion, you should only see positive changes to your lifestyle, and you certainly will not forget your reasons for quitting so long as you are improving based upon that decision every day. If you are improving every day, you will never forget why you quit. Moping Don’t use the subreddit or the discord (for moping). There are two instructions, in chapter 21 of The Easy Way to Stop. The second one is, Don’t mope about it. Rejoice. I can’t tell you how many people go into this discord, and just fucking mope about how they relapsed. For god’s sake I thought we were above the NoFap subreddit. Instead when I first went on to the pmohackbook subreddit, I immediately saw a bunch of relapse report spam, and people hating on themselves and the method. My first thought was, this can’t be good for my mindset, and then I left. I was hoping when I joined this discord, back when it only had 20 people that it would become a forum for discussion about being a non-user, and sharing ideas about how to solve this huge societal issue. Instead it’s slowly become a repository for self-loathing about relapses. Now, of course it’s okay to calmly explain your situation to try and solve it, that’s all fine and good, but this whole NoFap tier moping thing really just makes my gut wrench. Honestly, if you want to maximize the effectiveness of this server, and I hate to say this, I reckon you’d best just mute everything but notes and announcements. See the Final Guide, pasted in my notes. It’s a short section. Elation A lot of people talk about struggling to feel elated. There’s something to be said about forcing emotions, lying to yourself, and “faking it till you make it.” This isn’t about that though. Addiction really is just truth versus lies, the ones you tell yourself, or otherwise. It’s about finding beauty in the truth, Here’s another big one. “How long has it been since my last session, I still feel the same.” Don’t worry about how long it has been, you’re free for the rest of your life! It’s like riding a bicycle, you tend to veer into the direction that you look towards. If you turn your head towards “2 days since I last used...” you’ll veer towards the past. But, think forward, towards the beautiful and glorious future, and you are already free for the rest of your life! If that isn’t something to feel elated about, then I don’t know what is. And the best part is; You never have to use porn ever again! And you will always feel better having quit!
