NFNLP
BASIC PRACTITIONER
By William D. Horton, Psy. D. © 2006
Unauthorized reproduction prohibited.
National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming
1532 US 41 By-Pass S., # 287
Venice, FL 34293-1032
(941) 408-8551 Fax (941) 408-8552
http://www.nfnlp.com Email: nfnlp@nfnlp.com
NFNLP
NFNLP Basic Practitioner - 2
This Book Belongs To: _________________________________________
Introduction to NLP
(Neurolinguistic Programming)
Welcome to the world of NLP. Neurolinguistic Programming is the systematic study of
human performance. This study of the structure of the subjective experience can be
broken down into their smallest components (or chunks) and changed, modified,
improved upon, or removed. This allows a framework for growth and change at much
deeper levels more quickly than was originally thought.
NLP was developed through the efforts of several people. Some of the more notable
names are David Gordon, Leslie Cameron-Bandler, Steve and Connirae Andreas, Robert
Dilts, Richard Bandler, John Grinder, and many others. Their studies began in the 1970’s
and have continued to grow to the present. NLP techniques enable therapists to be much
more effective in assisting change in their clients lives. Neurolinguistic Programming
brought about the ability to analyze and transfer human excellence, thus resulting in the
most effective and practical psychology known.
NLP is based on the work of several people whom the above-mentioned studied. They
include Alfred Korzybski, Virginia Satir, Milton Erickson, Fritz Pearls and Gregory
Bateson, among others. They were chosen as excellence to model.
NLP is a practical application of how people think.
This is a hands-on learning experience. Keep an open mind and be willing to try to allow
the training to work with you at all levels.
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(Please note that this manual is meant as a companion, supplement, and reference to the
course, not an exact duplication of the videos/DVDs. Some exercises may not appear in
the exact order the class is taught. Please reference the table of contents for page
numbers.)
Please note that since time is short, when starting and doing an exercise,
please stay on task and keep comments to a minimum. Also, please try
to work with as many people as possible over the course, as this will
allow you a chance to stretch your abilities. Thank you!
* * *
I am reminded of a quote I read recently.
“You have powers you never dreamed of. You can do things you never
thought you could do. There are no limitations in what you can do except
the limitations of your own mind.” – Darvin P. Kingsley.
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Table of Contents
Introduction ………………………………...
3
Table of Contents …………………………..
5
Questions and Answers about NLP ………...
7
Sensory Acuity ……………………………..
9
Body Awareness/Wide Eyes/Mind Body …..
11
Martial Arts & NLP ………………………..
12
Eye Accessing Movements ………………...
13
Representational Systems …………………..
17
Predicates …………………………………..
19
Sub-Modality Distinctions ……………………
20
Sensory Perceptual Strategies ……………….
22
Sensory Acuity and Rapport ……………….
24
States of Excellence ………………………..
25
Major Presuppositions of NLP ……………..
26
Meta Model …………………….…………..
27
Information Gathering ……………………….
28
Meta Model Chart ……………………………
29
Nominalisation ….…………………………..
30
Anchoring ……………………………………
31
Anchoring and Adding a Resource …………
33
Chaining Anchors
……….……………….
34
Changing Personal History ………………...
35
Re-parenting ………………………………..
36
Lie/Truth Exercise …………………………..
37
Eliminating Fears and Phobias ……………..
39
How to Mend a Broken Heart ……………….
41
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The Visual Squash Exercise with Regression .
44
Visual Squash – Revised …………………….
46
New Behavior Generator …………………...
49
Reframing Outline: 6 Step ……...………….
50
The Swish Pattern ………………………….
52
Swish Pattern Exercises ……………………
53
Computer Swish Exercise …………………..
54
Godiva Chocolate Pattern ………………….
55
NLP Handshake Interrupt Induction ……….
56
NLP Based “Nonverbal” Induction ………...
57
Building Self-Confidence …………………..
59
Developing Self-Appreciation ……………..
61
It Reminds Me of a Story – The Ugly Chicken.
62
Selected Other NLP Reading ………………
66
Appendix I The Meta Model …………….
67
Appendix II Timeline ……………………..
81
Appendix III Glossary of Common NLP Terms
86
Appendix IV Dave Elman Induction
93
Appendix V Reframing
95
Appendix VI NFNLP Activity Summary
97
NLP Exam – Part I ………………………..
98
NLP Exam – Part II ……………………….
100
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Questions and Answers About NLP
Q.
What is NLP?
A.
NLP is a unique model of how people learn, motivate themselves, and change their
behavior to achieve excellence in any endeavor.
Q.
How did NLP get its name?
A.
The term Neurolinguistic Programming was introduced by Alfred Habdank Skarbek
Korzybski. This is also the same man who quoted, “God may forgive you for your
sins but your nervous system won’t." NLP is an integration of several disciplines
including neurology, psychology, linguistics, cybernetics, and systems theory. The
components of the term Neurolinguistic Programming describe best what this little
known science encompasses. NEURO because all of our experiences, both
conscious and subconscious, are derived through and from our senses and central
nervous system. LINGUISTIC because our mental processes are also coded,
organized, given meaning and transformed through language. PROGRAMMING
because people interact as a system in which experience and communication are
composed of sequences of patterns or “programs.”
In NFNLP, we currently use PSYCHOLOGY rather than Programming. We do this
because the word Psychology comes from the word “psyche” meaning “Spirit” and
“ology”, the “study of systems.”
Q.
What can NLP do?
A.
It lets you model, or copy, human excellence in any form. With NLP, you can
identify what makes someone exceptionally skilled, and get that skill for yourself or
teach it to others. NLP can help you become adept in whatever is important to you,
whether that means getting along with your family and coworkers or being more
effective on the job.
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Q.
Where is NLP useful?
A.
NLP is valuable wherever human communications skills can enhance results – in
business consultation, management, negotiation, education, counseling, therapy,
relationships, parenting, nursing, public speaking, sports performance and many
other areas.
Q.
What kind of results can I get with NLP?
A.
NLP can allow a therapist to change the impact of the past on a client, a teacher to
change a poor speller into a good speller, a business person to gain rapport
non-verbally and run meetings efficiently, an athlete to improve concentrations, and
more.
Q.
Is NLP a therapy?
A.
Although NLP can be used as a method of therapy, the applications are much
broader. Even when used as a therapy, it’s basically a process of teaching people
how to use their brains. Most therapy is remedial; that is, directed towards solving
problems from the past. NLP goes much further to study excellence and teach the
skills that promote positive change that generates new possibilities and
opportunities.
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Sensory Acuity
You are only as good in NLP as the information you bring in. Sensory acuity is extremely
important to gathering good information. These exercises will help improve your sensory acuity.
Opening Your Senses
Visual * Auditory * Kinesthetic
1) Kinesthetic (sense of touch) Groups of three people - 2 Programmers and 1 Experiencer
Have the experiencer close eyes and access a highly charged kinesthetic
state. Think about a time in your life when you were really in tune with
your body. The two programmers touch the experiencer on a spot (hand,
wrist, etc.) as each programmer calls out his/her name. As soon as the
experiencer can distinguish between the touches, TEST the kinesthetic
sense. Repeat with a covered section (on a sleeve, etc.).
To stretch - make the touches as close to the same space as possible.
Rotate until all have been the experiencer.
2) Auditory Same group of three people - 2 Programmers and 1 Experiencer
Have the experiencer access a vivid auditory state.
The two programmers make a sound (clap; finger snap; rub hands; etc.)
and call out the programmer’s name. When the experiencer can
distinguish between the sounds, TEST the auditory sense.
Rotate until all have been the experiencer.
3) Visual Same group: 1 Programmer; 1 Experiencer; and 1 Meta Person (watcher)
The experiencer accesses a very clear visual state.
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The programmer will then assume a position in the chair. The experiencer
will mentally take a photograph and then close his/her eyes.
The Programmer will shift something and the experiencer will attempt to
recognize the changes.
Rotate until all have been the experiencer.
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Body Awareness
Rub your body from the toes upward to the center of your torso. Then, rub
your body from the hands and head down towards the center of the torso.
* This is to be done daily for the duration of the course.
Wide Eyes (or Soft Eyes)
Stand with your feet shoulder width apart. Put your hands in front of you with the
index finger extended. Focus on your fingers.
Pull your fingers apart and stop when they leave your field of vision.
Repeat the procedure, thinking of “wide eyes” or “soft eyes” and try to expand
your field of vision.
* This is to be done daily for the duration of the course.
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Martial Arts & NFNLP
NFNLP wants to expand the base of NLP with respect and integrity to all those to who
can use this powerful technology.
NLP is very powerful and can be very manipulative, as is all knowledge that can be used
to bypass the conscious mind. With this in mind, we at NFNLP use the martial arts as
our training metaphor. Discipline – Honor – Respect – and Integrity. These are our
goals.
There is nothing worse than a bully with a black belt, so please try to bear in mind the
power that you are developing.
From now until the end of this course, we will treat this classroom as a Dojo (school).
Please bow in and out as you enter and leave. This is to show respect to the knowledge
you are learning.
Also feel free to change your seat after every break so you can experience this new
learning from different angles. You may even cross into a new mindset.
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Eye Accessing Movements
The diagram illustrates the direction of a person’s eye accessing movements as you are
facing and looking at the person.
When we process information internally, we can do it visually, aurally, kinesthetically,
olfactorally, or gustatorally. It is possible to access the meaning of a word in any one, or
any combination, of the five sensory channels.
Vc
Visual Constructed:
Seeing images of things never seen before, or seeing
things differently than they were seen before.
Questions include: “What will you look like at 90?”
Ac
Auditory Constructed:
Hearing sounds not heard before. Questions
include: “What would your name sound like
backwards?” “How would a dog barking, a car horn
and children playing sound like?”
K
Kinesthetic:
Feeling emotions, tactile sensations (sense of touch),
or proprioceptive feeling (feelings of muscle
movement). Questions include: “Is your nose cold
now?” “What does it feel like to run?”
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Vr
Visual Remembered:
Seeing images of things seen before, in the same
way they were seen before. Questions include:
“What does your coat look like?”
Ar
Auditory
Remembering sounds heard before. Questions
Remembered:
include: “What’s the last thing I said?” “What does
your alarm clock sound like?”
Ad
Auditory Digital:
Talking to one self. Questions include: “Say
something to yourself that you often say.” “Recite
the Pledge of Allegiance.”
V
Visual:
The blank stare is visual – either constructed or
remembered.
Virginia Satir and others have observed that people move their eyes in systematic
directions, depending upon the kind of thinking they are doing. These movements are
called eye accessing cues. The chart above indicates the kind of processing most people
do when moving their eyes in a particular direction; however, a small percentage of
people are “reversed” or mirror image the chart.
A good example of how you can use eye accessing cues is in the case of a car sale: a
salesman might stress different features to a customer depending on the customer’s
primary representational system in order to “step into his model of the world.” For an
auditory customer, the salesman could stress the thud of the reinforced doors, the upscale
stereo system, and the whisper quiet ride. To a visual customer, the salesman would
stress the clean, sleek lines, the clear view of the scenery through the large tinted
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windows and sun roof, and ask them to picture themselves behind the wheel, etc. A
kinesthetic person might respond more to the feel of the full grain leather seats, the
smooth ride that makes you feel like you are floating on air, the feeling of the wind in
their hair and the warm sun on their face through the sun roof as they drive along the
highway. You also have to stress that even though they have a primary system, you
should use appeals to all systems because we all use more than one system. This would
also take into account another person who might be involved in the decision process, i.e.
the spouse or parent accompanying the buyer, etc.
As a therapist it is easy to understand that it is just another way of gaining rapport
with the client and then phrasing our inductions using a representational system to which
they are most likely to respond.
In our personal life an auditory husband might leave socks on the floor, dishes on
the table, shoes in the corner, newspapers here and there. A visual wife might feel that
she married a total slob who doesn’t appreciate that she tries to create a pleasant tidy
house. If he loved me, she thinks, he would care that I spent all day cleaning, etc.
On the other hand, the auditory husband may come home from work and sit down to
read the paper. Meanwhile, the wife has the food processor running making supper, the
TV is on, one teenager has the CD player blaring, and the other one is teasing a barking
dog. The husband who is auditory and trying to engage in a visual task, screams, “Can’t I
get some peace and quiet in my own home?” Again, misunderstandings can occur. It
might save a trip to divorce court if both realized:
To this wife, the visual appearance of the home or her clothes or the lawn
is important to her, but makes little impression on an auditory person.
To this husband, the bombardment of all these sounds at once would be
comparable to a visual person watching a laser show in an electrical storm.
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Just understanding differences can make things run much smoother.
Also, the example of teenagers coming home late and your asking where they have
been is one way to utilize eye accessing cues. If the teenagers look up and left, they are
visually remembering and telling you where they were. If they look up and right (visual
construct), it is possible they are fabricating a story that you would accept. It does not
mean they are definitely lying, but it may be that the parent should ask a few more
questions.
A good way to practice these techniques is to watch any show that interviews people
(i.e. Oprah Winfrey, Larry King, etc.) These programs show real people who respond to
questions subconsciously. You can tape these shows and study the eye accessing cues.
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Representational Systems
Seeing [Visual]
Eyes
These people look up to their right or left, or their eyes may
appear unfocused.
Gestures
Their gestures are quick and angular, and include pointing.
Breathing &
High, shallow and quick.
Speech
Fast
Words
The words that capture their attention include:
See, look, imagine, reveal, perspective.
Presentations
They prefer pictures, diagrams, movies.
Hearing [Auditory]
Eyes
These people look down to the left and may appear
“shifty-eyed."
Gestures
Their gestures are balanced, touching one’s face (i.e. rubbing the
chin).
Breathing &
Mid-chest, rhythmic.
Speech
Speak rhythmically
Words
The words that capture their attention include:
Hear, listen, ask, tell, clicks, in-tune.
Presentations
They prefer lists, summarize, quote, read.
Feeling [Kinesthetic]
Eyes
These people look down to the right.
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Gestures
Their gestures are rhythmic, touching their
chest (basically true for men) - Clinton.
Breathing &
Deep, slow with pauses.
Speech
Speaks slowly.
Words
The words that capture their attention include:
Feel, touch, grasp, catch on, contact.
Presentations
Toward [Goals]: achieve, attain, gain.
Away From [Problems]: avoid, relieve, out.
To be more persuasive with all groups, make the representation: BIGGER,
CLOSER, MORE COLORFUL, 3-D, MOVIE.
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Predicates
The following lists are predicates in language (verbs, adverbs and adjectives) that
are associated with specific representational systems. A way of detecting the primary
(most commonly used) representational system a person has in consciousness is by
listening to the language, the sentences generated, and noticing the predicates used.
Visual
Auditory
Kinesthetic
Unspecified
Olfactory/Gust
See
Picture
Perceive
Notice
Look
Show
Appear
Clear
Pretty
Colorful
Hazy
Observe
Flash
Focus
Bright
Scene
Perspective
Imagine
View
Vista
Horizon
Make a scene
Tunnel vision
Plainly see
Sound
Hear
Discuss
Listen
Talk
Call on
Quiet
Inquire
Noisy
Loud
Outspoken
Articulate
Scream
Pronounce
Remark
Resonate
Harmony
Shrill
Oral
Whimper
Mention
Tongue-tied
Ring a bell
Loud and clear
Feel
Relax
Grasp
Handle
Stress
Pressure
Smooth
Clumsy
Rough
Hard
Grip
Warm
Rush
Firm
Euphoric
Clammy
Touch
Calm
Dull
Burning
Stinging
Get the drift
Boils down to
Hang in there
Think
Decide
Understand
Know
Develop
Prepare
Activate
Manage
Repeat
Advise
Indicate
Consider
Motivate
Plan
Anticipate
Create
Generate
Deduce
Direct
Achieve
Accomplish
Initiate
Conclude
New
knowledge
Creative option
Aware of
Smell
Fragrant
Stink
Reek
Aroma
Pungent
Sour
Sweet
Acrid
Musty
Fresh
Bland
Stale
Fresh
Bitter
Salty
Nutty
Delicious
Salivate
Spoiled
Sniff
Smokey
Bitter pill
Fish notion
See eye-to-eye
Mind’s eye
Idle talk
Sharp as a tack
To tell the truth Slipped my
mind
Bird’s eye view Word for word Pull some
strings
Catch a
Rap session
Moment of
glimpse
panic
Bright future
Unheard of
Smooth operator
In light of
Call on
Get the drift
Intensify
Incorporate
Differentiate
Represent
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Sub-Modality Distinctions
By Richard Bandler & Will MacDonald
Modality
Visual
Sub-Modality
Color/Black & White
Brightness
Contrast
Focus
Texture
Detail
Size
Distance
Shape
Border
Location
Movement
Orientation
Association /
Dissociation
Perspective
Proportion
Dimension
Questions
● Is it in color or black and white?
● Is it full-color spectrum?
● Are the colors vivid or washed out?
In that context, is it brighter or darker than normal?
Is it high contrast (vivid) or washed out?
Is the image sharp in focus or is it fuzzy?
Is the image smooth or rough textured?
● Are there foreground and background
details?
● Do you see the details as part of a whole or
do you have to shift focus to see them?
How big is the picture? (ask for specific size)
How far away is the image? (specific distance)
What shape is the picture: square, rectangular,
round?
● Is there a border around it or do the edges
fuzz out?
● Does the border have a color?
● How thick is the border?
● Where is the image located in space?
● Show me with both hands where you see the
images(s).
● Is it a movie or a still picture?
● How rapid is the movement: faster or slower
than normal?
● Is the image stable?
● What direction does it move in?
● How fast is it moving?
Is the picture tilted?
Do you see yourself or do you see the event as if
you were there?
● From what perspective do you see it?
● (If Dissociated) Do you see yourself from
the right or left, back or front?
Are there people and things in the image in
proportion to one another and to you or are some of
them larger or smaller than life?
● Is it flat or is it three-dimensional?
● Does the picture wrap around you?
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Singular / Plural
Auditory
Location
Pitch
Tonality
Melody
Inflection
Volume
Tempo
Rhythm
Duration
Mono / Stereo
Kinesthetic
Intensity
Quality
Location
Movement
Direction
Speed
Duration
● Is there one image or more than one?
● Do you see them one after the other or at the
same time?
● Do you hear it from the inside or from the
outside?
● Where does the sound (voice) originate?
● Is it high-pitched or low-pitched?
● Is the pitch higher or lower than normal?
What is the tonality: nasal, full and rich, think,
grating?
Is it a monotone or is there a melodic range?
Which parts are accentuated?
How loud is it?
Is it fast or slow?
Does it have a beat or a cadence?
Is it continuous or intermittent?
Do you hear it on one side, both sides, or is the
sound all around you?
How strong is the sensation?
How would you describe the body sensations:
tingling, warm, cold, relaxed, tense, knotted,
diffused?
Where do you feel it in your body?
● Is there movement in the sensation?
● Is the movement continuous or does it come
in waves?
● Where does the sensation start?
● How does it get from the place of origin to
the place where you are most aware of it?
Is it a slow steady progression or does it move in a
rush?
Is it continuous or intermittent?
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Sensory Perceptual Strategies
By Richard Gerson
Every person has his own Sensory Perceptual Strategy program that he uses when
he communicates. These strategies are the primary, secondary and tertiary
representational styles of the communicator. For example, a person can be a V-A-K,
which means his strategy is Visual-Auditory-Kinesthetic. When you communicate with
that person, you want to use the processor words that pertain to the V-A-K strategy. The
same is true for all the other representational strategies.
Theoretically, there can be an infinite number of possible strategies. These are the
six most common:
V-A-K
Visual-Auditory-Kinesthetic
V-K-A
Visual-Kinesthetic-Auditory
K-V-A
Kinesthetic-Visual-Auditory
K-A-V
Kinesthetic-Auditory-Visual
A-V-K
Auditory-Visual-Kinesthetic
A-K-V
Auditory-Kinesthetic-Visual
It is very easy to learn another person’s Sensory Perceptual Style, or
representational strategy. All you have to do is UNPACK it. Unpacking a strategy is
very simple. Just ask the person to remember a time when they were very happy. Then
ask them to tell you what it was about that experience that made them so happy. Keep
asking them to tell you another two times and listen for the processor words. They will
tell you it was things they saw, felt or heard. When they have told you three times, you
have their basic strategy. Now, all you have to do to communicate effectively with them
and to develop rapport is to PLAYBACK their strategy.
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Strategy playback involves communicating with another person in their
modalities of reality. You use the same order or representation, such as V-A-K, but you
use it in a different context. Basically, you tell them a story using the appropriate
processor words. When they experience this story through their sensory perceptual style,
they will develop a rapport with you and communication will be easy. You will find that
more people will enjoy being with you and doing things with you simply because you can
now communicate effectively with them.
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Sensory Acuity and Rapport
Groups of three, programmer chooses a situation.
1. Always breathe with the person. If they are breathing fast, pace them and slow
down.
2. Directly Mirror the person’s posture and movements. Don’t mimic – just flow with
them.
3. Match the type of words the clients use: If the clients say that they don’t see
something working out, they can’t clearly picture the outcome, you would match the
visual words; see the picture clearly.
4. Backtrack over what the clients tell you.
SPEND A COUPLE OF MINUTES DOING THIS, THEN:
Mismatch as many words, processes, and questions that you can.
Note: Any of these Rapport Techniques should be used with subtlety so that the client is
not aware of your actions. Always be calm, centered, and relaxed. Always be positive.
Always be focused. Think Creative and Positive – Visualize Success!
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States of Excellence
Groups of three (programmer, client, and meta-person roles), standing:
1. Identify Excellent State. “What state of excellence would you like to have in more
places of your life? In what state would you have all of your resources available to
you?”
2. Set up a Circle of Excellence. “I’d like you to imagine a circle of excellence on the
floor in front of you. What color is yours? Does it have a sound?”
3. Access Excellence Circle and ANCHOR. “Now think of a time in your life when
you were in this state in a way that was fully satisfying to you. When you can feel it,
step into the circle.” Each time the person accesses this state and steps into the circle,
the programmer places one hand on the client’s shoulder (Anchor).
4. Separator State/Testing. “Step out of the circle and relax. Now, step back into the
circle, (Anchor) and find how it fully elicits those feelings. Again step back out of
the circle and relax.”
5. Desired Context. “From this point on, whenever I touch you on the shoulder
(Anchor) I want you to step into the circle. Now, think of a time in a future situation,
or context, where you would like to have more of this special state of excellence.”
6. Chaining. “When I touch you on the shoulder (Anchor), I want you to step into the
circle and recover your excellent state. (Pause) How, specifically, will things be
different in that problem, back there, now?”
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7. Testing. Finally, have the client step out of the circle and think about the places they
needed help. Check the non-verbals, and have them explain.
Major Presuppositions of NLP
NLP is one way of looking at the world. These are the filters of that viewpoint:
1. We are always communicating
2. The meaning of the communication is the response that you get.
3. People respond to their map of reality, not to reality itself.
4. Requisite variety. The element in a system with the most flexibility will usually be
the controlling element.
5. People always make the best choice available to them.
6. Every behavior is useful in some context.
7. Experience has a structure. Chunking. Anything can be accomplished if we break it
down into small enough pieces.
8. People already have most of the resources that they need.
9. There is no failure, only feedback.
10. If what you're doing does not work, do something else.
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Meta Model
A model, developed by John Grinder and Richard Bandler, which bears a close
resemblance to the list of ten “cognitive distortions” found in Cognitive-Behavioral
Therapy. The meta model identifies commonly occurring language patterns which
actually hamper good communication, and shows how they can be tackled to open up
clearer, more effective communication.
Grouped under three basic headings – Deletions, Distortions, and Generalizations
– the meta model covers a variety of misleading language patterns such as: Unspecified
nouns, unspecified verbs, unqualified comparisons, unqualified absolutes and
unquestioned rules, missing referential indices, etc, etc. These are each described
elsewhere in the glossary under the relevant headings: Deletions, Distortions,
Generalizations, Nouns, unspecified, Verbs, unspecified, and so on.
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Information Gathering: The Key to Successful Interactions
The Meta Model
From the work of Alfred Habdank Skarbek Korzybski
The Key Questions
1) What do you want?
a) Stated in positive terms
b) Initiated and controlled by client
c) Specific-Sensory Based - See - Hear - Feel
d) Small chunk size
1A) What will that do for you? (specifically)
2) How will you know when you have it?
3) Where, when, and with whom do you want it?
a) Sensory based and Ecological
3A) How will this affect other aspects (or people) in your life?
4) What stops you from having this already?
5) What resources do you already have that will help you obtain your outcome?
6) What additional resources do you need to obtain it?
7) How are you going to get there?
a) First step. Be specific and achievable.
b) Is there more than one way to get there?
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Meta Model Chart
PATTERN
DISTORTIONS
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Mind Reading:
(Knowing Someone’s Internal State)
Ex. “You don’t like me.”
Lost Performative:
(Value Judgements-Person doing the
Judging is left out)
Ex: “It’s bad to be inconsistent.”
Cause – Effect: (A>B)
(Where cause is wrongly put outside
self)
Ex: “You make me sad.”
Complex Equivalence: (A=B)
Presuppositions:
Ex: “If my husband knew how much I
suffered, he wouldn’t do that.”
3 Presuppositions:
1.
I suffer
2.
My husband acts in some
way
3.
My husband doesn’t know
I
suffer
RESPONSE
PREDICTION
How do you know I don’t like you?
Recover source of Info
(gather evidence)
Who says it’s bad?
According to whom?
How do you know its bad?
How does what I’m doing cause you
to choose to feel sad? (Counter Ex. Or
How specifically?)
Recover source of Belief
Recover Performative
Recover Belief Strategy
How does her yelling mean she…
Have you ever yelled at someone you
liked?
Recover CEq
Counter Example
1.
How do you choose to
suffer?
Recover Choice
Specify Choice & Verb
Specify what he does
2.
3.
How is he reacting?
How do you know he doesn’t
know?
Recover Internal Rep.,
And CEq
GENERALIZATIONS
6.
7.
Universal Quantifiers:
(all, every, never, everyone, no one,
etc.)
Ex: “She never listens to me.”
Modal Operators
(a)
Modal Operators of necessity
(Required)
(should, shouldn’t, must, must not,
have to, need to, it is necessary.)
Ex: “I have to take care of her.”
(b)
Modal Operators of Possibility
(or
Impossibility)
(can/can’t, will/won’t, may/may not,
possible/impossible)
Ex: “I can’t tell him the truth.”
(find counter examples)
Never?
What would happen if she did?
(a)
you
Recover Counter
Example –
Effects, Outcome
What would happen if
Recover Effects, Outcome
did? (What wouldn’t happen
if you didn’t? – or also:
“or?”
Recover Causes
(b)
What prevents you?
(What
would happen if you did?)
DELETIONS
8.
Nominalizations:
(Process words, verbs, that have been
turned into nouns)
Who’s communicating what to whom:
How would you like to communicate?
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Turn back into a process
Recover deletion, and
Referential index.
Process + specify verb.
9.
Unspecified Verbs:
Ex: “He rejected me.”
10. Simple Deletions:
(a) Simple Deletions: Ex: “I am
uncomfortable.”
(b) Lack of Referential Index: Ex:
“They don’t listen to me.”
(fails to specify a specific person
or thing)
(c) Comparative Deletions: Ex:
“She’s a better person.”
(Good, better, best, more, less,
most, least, worse, worst)
How, specifically, did he reject you?
(a)
About what, whom?
(b)
Who, specifically,
doesn’t
listen to you?
(c)
© 1990 Tad James & Advanced Neuro Dynamics, Inc.
Specify the verb.
Recover Deletion
Recover Ref. Index
Recover Comparative
deletion
Better than whom?
Better at what?
Compared to whom, what?
(Reproduced with permission.)
Nominalisation
This is the process of turning a verb into a noun. For example, “to educate”
becomes “education.” The important point is that the noun form doesn’t actually have a
clear-cut meaning like the original verb form had. A frequently cited NLP expression
goes, “You can’t put a nominalisation in a wheelbarrow.”
Politicians love nominalisations because they can talk without having “said”
anything at all.
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Anchoring
Multiple Accessing Representations
Often in the process of communicating with a client, the achieved level of rapport
can change as the discussion changes. It is important to have a method of quickly
reestablishing the initial rapport. Anchoring allows you to do this. Below are the basics
about anchoring.
1) It does not take a long period of time to establish an anchor. Repeated
motivations and conditioning will reinforce an anchor.
2) Reinforcement and direct rewards are not required for an anchor’s association.
3) Internal responses and experiences are significant. Although
internal reactions are not measurable....they are a definitive response.
4) Anchors are “set” and “fired off”. The more profound the experience when
the catalyst is set, the stronger the retaliatory response.
5) Timing is crucial while establishing an anchor. It is necessary that the correct
trigger sets off the desired response. The strength of the response will guide
the client’s mind in the necessary and desired path.
6) The more original the motivation, the more the ease at reestablishing the
desired rapport. The repercussions of mixed responses due to general stimuli
could often be detrimental to the client as well as the relationship as a whole.
By establishing unique stimuli, it allows for little margin of error and an ease
for re-accessing the desired state.
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7) Anchors can be established in the visual, auditory, and kinesthetic
representational systems.
8) Anchors can be set and fired off both consciously and unconsciously. People
regularly create anchors in everyday experiences. They may watch a news
show about an incident or situation they feel strongly about (negative or
positive). From that point on, any time a word comes up that brings forth the
memory of that news show, it will elicit a certain response. In effect, an
anchor has been “set” and “fired off.”
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Anchoring and Adding a Resource
1. Identify Resourceful Behavior or State. “Think of something that you already do
well, some behavior or state that is already resourceful, but you’d like to do even
better.
2. Access and ANCHOR #1. “What is it like to be doing that behavior?” As they
access that state, reach over and ANCHOR it with a touch of the arm.
3. Identify Additional Resource (#2). “Think of some other resource state/behavior that
you could add so that you’d be even more delighted with that resourceful behavior.”
As they access this resource, ANCHOR it with a touch of the other arm.
4. Integration. “Take this resource (fire ANCHOR #2) and relive that resourceful
behavior (fire ANCHOR #1) with this additional resource available to you. Watch
and listen to everything that happens as those two experiences combine to make you
even more effective. Take the time you need and come on back.”
5. Test. Fire ANCHOR #1 and look for a new response.
Note: Anchors should be set (installed) at the peak of the experience. Have the client use
all senses (seeing, hearing, feeling, smelling, tasting) that were associated with the
experience. Ask the client to nod when they have reached the peak of the
experience. Then set the anchor. The purpose of setting the anchor is to be able to
call up that particular desired state when needed.
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Chaining Anchors
1)
Elicit Dissociation
“See yourself from my point of view.”
“Imagine you are in a movie theater and you are on the screen.”
Anchor this Dissociated State.
2)
Elicit Stuck (Problem) State.
Anchor.
3)
Anchor # 1
Anchor # 2
Chain to Dissociation
Fire Anchor # 2 (Stuck/Problem). Then fire Anchor #1 (You on the
screen.)
4)
Test - Have client think of stuck/problem.
Behavior Transfer
5)
Select past resource or behavior you would like to have had in problem/stuck
state.
6)
Think of a time you had this.
Anchor.
7)
Anchor # 3
Fire #2, then #1, and finally #3.
Saying whenever you are put into this problem (Fire #2), you will pull
back
(Fire #1) and then like magic you will find yourself resourceful
(Fire #3).
8)
Attach a self-anchor (if appropriate.)
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Changing Personal History
1. Identify the Problem State. “Think of a time when things didn’t happen the way you
wanted them to and you would like to feel differently about that memory. Or think of
a memory that you still think of from time to time, and it leaves you feeling in a way
you would rather not.”
2. Access and ANCHOR the Problem State. “When you think of this now do you feel
bad?”
3. Identify the Resource. “What resource (courage, humor, alertness, etc.) would have
made it possible for you to have had a much more useful experience in that
situation?”
4. Access & ANCHOR (#2) Resource State. “Think of a time in your life when you
experienced a lot of this resource.” As they access this state, ANCHOR it with a
different touch (ANCHOR #2).
5. Break State.
6. Integration. “Take this special resource (fire ANCHOR #2) back into that problem
memory (fire ANCHOR #1) and find out what happens with this resource available to
you. Watch and listen as you relive that old memory in a new way. Take your time,
and then come on back.”
7. Test. Ask the client about that memory. Check non-verbal responses.
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Re-Parenting
1.
Identify Problem State. "Think of a time when your parent(s) did not make the
best choice in your life, something that has affected you ever since.
2.
Access and ANCHOR Problem State. "When you think of this now, do you feel
bad?" ANCHOR the state with a touch. ANCHOR #1
3.
Identify Resource. "What resource (courage, humor, compassion, etc.) do you
now have that you wish your parents had back then?
4.
Think of a time you had a lot of this resource. ANCHOR #2
5.
Integration. "Take this special resource (fire ANCHOR #2) back into this
memory with the parent(s) (fire ANCHOR #1) and find out what happens with
this resource available to you and your parents." Watch and listen as you relive
that old memory in a new way. Take your time, and then come on back."
6.
Test. As the client about that memory. "What difference do you now notice?"
Check non-verbal responses.
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Lie / Truth Submodalities Exercise
1. Do the lie- truth exercise. (Tell two stories, one the truth, but something unbelievable from
your past, and make up a believable fabrication. Tell them both to the group. Get feedback on
which one they thought was true/false. Do not reveal which story was true and which was a
lie.)
2. Get into pairs and elicit the submodalities of :
A: The truth
B: The lie
3. Map across, make the lie like the truth and the truth a lie.
4. Test
5. Switch
Think of where this could be useful in the real world. This exercise is important for
both the teller and listener. You will learn how you utilize your sub-modalities when you
tell a story (truthful and lie) as well as how you pick up clues when listening to someone
else. Pay attention to what goes on inside of you when telling the truth as well as when
telling the lie.
Next time you watch a movie, make a conscious effort to track the little details that
either sell you on the movie or totally blow the plausibility of the movie. If the little
details are plausible, the larger “lies” are more easily believable.
If you get into rapport with someone, and mirror and match them while they are
telling their story, try to put yourself into “think” mode while listening and in rapport, and
you will be better able to detect the lie. External behavior models an internal process.
Being in rapport will tune your senses while you listen.
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This is why it’s harder to lie to (or be lied to by) family or a friend versus a stranger.
The better rapport you have, the more in tune you are with them and they with you.
If you are the one telling the story, really use your sub-modalities to try to sell the
story. The more in state you are, the more difficult time the listener will have determining
if you are telling the truth or the lie. If you try to build rapport while telling the story,
mirroring and matching the listener, it becomes even more difficult for them to tell
whether or not you’re telling the truth.
The more subtle you are building rapport, the less effective you will be. Remember,
be blatant!
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Eliminating Fears and Phobias
The Fast Phobia/Trauma Relief Technique
This technique neutralizes the powerful, negative feelings of phobias and
traumatic events.
Remember: most people learned to be phobic in a single situation that was
actually dangerous, or seemed dangerous. The fact that individuals can do what
psychologists call “one-trial learning” is proof that a person’s brain can learn quite
rapidly. That ability to learn rapidly makes it easy for you to learn a new way to respond
to any phobia or trauma.
The part of you that has been protecting you all these years by making you phobic is
an important and valuable part. We want to preserve its ability to protect you in
dangerous situations. The purpose of this technique is to refine and improve your brain’s
ability to protect you by updating its information.
1. With your eyes open or closed, imagine you’re sitting in the middle of a movie
theater and you see a black and white snapshot of yourself on the screen.
2. Now, float out of your body and up into the projection booth. See yourself sitting in
the movie theater seat, and also the black and white photo on the screen. You may
even wish to imagine Plexiglas over the booth’s opening, protecting you.
3. Now, watch and listen, protected in the projection booth, as you see a black and white
movie of a younger you going through one of those situations in which he/she
experienced that phobia/trauma. Watch the whole event, starting before the beginning
of that incident. Observe until you are beyond the end of it, when everything was OK
again.
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If you are not fully detached, make the theater screen smaller and farther away, make
the picture grainier and stop and start the film so that when you’re done viewing it,
you’re completely detached. End the movie after the phobia-causing event, with a freeze
frame of yourself.
4. Next, leave the projection booth and slip back into the present you in the theater seat.
Next step into the freeze photo of the younger you, who is feeling OK again, at the
movie’s end. This is double dissociation. Now, run the entire movie of that
experience backwards in color, taking two seconds or less to do so. Be sure to go all
the way back to before the beginning. See, hear, and feel everything going backwards
in those two seconds or less.
5. To test the process, attempt to return to the phobic state in any way you can. What if
you were in that situation now? When will you next encounter one of these
situations? If you still get a phobic response, repeat the steps 1 to 4 exactly, but faster
each time, until none of the phobic response remains.
6. Since you were phobic/traumatized, you have stayed far away from those particular
situations in which you used to feel phobic, so you haven’t had the opportunity to
learn about them. As you begin to encounter and explore these situations in the
future, we urge you to exercise a certain degree of caution until you learn to be more
comfortable with them.
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How to Mend a Broken Heart
Wil Horton, Psy. D.
Recently I have received several calls from people wanting tips on helping others
who are in bad straights from failed relationships. They want to know how to help. There
comes times when it is hard to let go of a failed or terminated relationship, it is at these
times that our conscious mind cannot override these deep feelings. It may be even more
painful during special days like anniversaries or the holiday season. When I have a client
with this I use a version of the phobia technique, which I jazzed up, called Mending a
Broken Heart Process.
This is not only for lover relationships, but friendships, even job loss can be listed
here.
When many people loss their jobs (as in the current downsizing) they go through
more of these grieving/loss feelings than most people realize.
How can we help? When you look at how people naturally overcome this
grieving/loss experience? I think we can use our tools to speed up the natural process.
Have the person think of someone they used to be in a relationship with but now they
have no feelings for, maybe a high school love, or an old friend who now is out of your
life.
The first time I used this I was pleasantly surprised at how well it worked. I had a
weight loss client, who appeared very down at one of her follow up sessions, When I
inquired into this she told me of her recent break up with her boyfriend. (I knew from
previous conversations that this was an ongoing on again/ off again relationship). I asked
her if she would like to be rid of her strong attachment to this relationship, she answered
quickly, YES! So I walked her through this process. I made a not to follow up on her next
visit.
She returned and I asked her what happened, she told me the following. "I felt
fine after our session but a couple of days later he called and wanted to talk, I told him
no. The next days he sent flowers to my work, and called me, I was not interested. The
NFNLP Basic Practitioner - 44
next days he showed up at work with more flowers and a ring. I thought about it but I did
not want to get back on the merry go round. It was strange; this would have worked
before, but not now.
At this point I asked her if she would like her attachment for him back, since we
could install that, she laughed and said no. The moral, make sure they want to remove the
strong feelings.
Here are the steps.
First we must acknowledge the protection process involved
The part of you that has been protecting you all this time years by making you feel
bad is an important and valuable part. We want to preserve its ability to protect you in
future situations. The purpose of this technique is to refine and improve your brain’s
ability to protect you by updating its information. We will not remove the memories, just
the strong emotional response.
1. With your eyes open or closed, imagine you’re sitting in the middle of a movie
theater and you see a black and white snapshot of yourself on the screen.
2. Now, float out of your body and up into the projection booth. See yourself sitting
in the movie theater seat, and you notice the black and white photo on the screen.
You may even wish to imagine Plexiglas over the booth’s opening, protecting
you.
3. Now, watch protected in the projection booth, as the other you in the movie
theatre watches a black and white movie of a younger you going through the
entire relationship, the good, the bad, from the first meeting to the end. Watch the
whole event, starting before the beginning to the end. Observe until you are
beyond the end of it, when everything was OK again.
NFNLP Basic Practitioner - 45
If you are not fully detached, make the theater screen smaller and farther away, make
the picture grainier and stop and start the film so that when you’re done viewing it,
you’re completely detached. End the movie after the relationship event, with a freeze
frame of yourself.
4. Next, leave the projection booth and slip back into the present you in the theater
seat. Then, step into the freeze photo of the younger you, who is feeling OK
again, at the movie’s end. This is double dissociation. Now, run the entire
movie of that relationship backwards in color, taking two seconds or less to do so.
Be sure to go all the way back to before the beginning. See, hear, and feel
everything going backwards in those two seconds or less. Add some circus music,
you may want to see your ex-partner with a clown nose, and feet.
5. Repeat this process 2 to 3 times.
6. Now bring up a collage of all the negative times you had with this person. Be
honest, all the hurts and slights should be here.
7. Let this fade away into your past.
8. Now bring up an image of this person, and notice all of the connections you have
with this person. You may notice cords of light, or energy strings. Pay attention to
all the connections. Head to head, heart to heart, sex to sex, spirit to spirit. In
whatever way is right for you, cut the cords. You may want to use a silver sword,
or special scissors. Once you have cut the cords, reattach them to yourself, and let
them reattach theirs to them. Release them to find their highest good, as you
release your self.
To test the process, attempt to return to the bad feeling state in any way you can.
What if you were faced with that person now? If you still get a negative response, repeat
the steps 1 to 8 exactly, but faster each time, until none of the phobic response remains.
Thank your higher self for helping and get on with your life.
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The Visual Squash Exercise with Regression
“Classic”
After sorting a conflict into its two parts, the next step is to integrate the two by
combining or integrating the anchors for the two sides. One way of accomplishing this is
what is called the “Visual Squash.”
1. Access and get outcome for side #1. (The part that wants to change.) “Put one
polarity in the hand that is appropriate, seeing what that part of you looks like,
hearing its tone of voice, and so on…Do you realize how this part is valuable to
you?” … (positive outcomes or functions). Or “Ask the part what its positive function
is.” “Keep that part in that hand, as you turn to look at your other hand.”
2. Access and get outcome for side #2. (The part that resists change.) “Do the same
with the other polarity in the other hand. This part may help you to consciously
remember the events that are holding you back, or you may only remember bits and
pieces of this (or these) events. Now you might be surprised at how your
pre-conscious takes you back to these experiences now… (Pause.)”
“Sometimes our pre-conscious minds misunderstand events or situations. It is not
uncommon for a parent or authority figure to tell us to “work harder or you will never
succeed,” or “you’re a loser,” and our minds only hear the negative. Sometimes an event
that did not work out, a dropped ball, a bad move, a split second pause, can cause us to
replay these events as if they were a part of us, not just something that happened that we
can learn from.”
“Now I invite this part to release this event and any others that may be holding you
back. You may allow yourself to see these events or causes in a new light.”
NFNLP Basic Practitioner - 48
3. Mutual appreciation of outcomes. “Now look straight ahead, so you can see both
hands. Watch both the parts as they turn to face each other. Ask each if it
understands and appreciates the value of the other part. Have each polarity express
some appreciation for the positive outcome, or valuable function of the other part.”
4. Integration of parts. (Here are several possible verbalizations – you won’t need
them all.) “Now watch and listen to both these valuable parts of yourself, allowing
your two hands to come together only as fast as those two parts can blend and
integrate in ways most comfortable and useful to you… in such a way that neither
part loses anything, retaining the usefulness and importance of both parts, each
gaining from the other the qualities and capacities that are lacking in themselves and
present in the other.”
“You may be fascinated to observe some of the changes that occur in these two
images as they start to come together …only as fast as they can comfortably assimilate
these changes. You may also be surprised by the image that is created when the two
images finally join and become a single image as they melt into each other and take on
each other’s capacities. And notice what the new image looks like, because this new part
represents a combination of abilities you’ve never had before…as such, this new part will
have additional skills and abilities that you could never have guessed at, that you can
enjoy … new ways of accomplishing all of these important outcomes simultaneously…”
Notice when the client is done integrating, both by observing the hands move
together, and the accompanying changes in facial expression, breathing, posture, etc.
5. Associate with the new integrated part. “When you are ready, physically use your
hands to bring this part into yourself – into your body somehow, so that it becomes a
part of you and all your behaviors, easily and readily available. As you do this, you
NFNLP Basic Practitioner - 49
feel a surge of energy in your body as this part reunites with you… take a few
moments to appreciate and enjoy the qualities of this unique new part.”
6. Future-Pace. “Now think of the specific times and places where you want these
integrated qualities and capacities to be fully at your disposal in the future…”
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Visual Squash – Revised
By Wil Horton, Psy. D.
Recently I have changed the way I do the Visual Squash, and several of you in
recent trainings have asked for a copy. Here it is.
Remember, a Visual Squash is for when a client has a polarity response, part of
them wants to do something, and part of them fights it. You could use it for someone who
says part of them wants to give up emotional eating, but a part of them likes the comfort
foods.
1) First, have the client think of a person, place, or thing that they love. Where do
they feel this feeling?
Have them locate it and describe it, color, shape, sound, and location.
2) Do a relaxation that you like; it is not necessary for them to go into a deep
state, just a relaxation, to get their conscious mind out of the way. I use a Dave Elman, or
my Escalator technique.
After the client is relaxed:
3) Imagine, in your mind’s eye, the part of you that wants to change, the part
of you that brought you here, that really wants this goal _______ (you would repeat
it here, in the positive, of course). You know the reasons (list a couple if they have
told you, like to look better, more confidence, health, etc.) and there may be others
that you’re not consciously aware of, and that’s okay. Just let this part take a color,
shape, sounds, and feeling. It could be anything, a white cloud, a pink heart,
whatever it is, it is. I would like to thank this part, and you should also, as it only
wants what’s best for you. Great.
4) Now imagine next to it, in your mind’s eye, that part of you that, for
whatever reason, stops you from achieving this change. You may know the reasons,
or you may not consciously, and that’s okay. Just let this part take a color, shape,
sound, and feeling. Whatever pops into your mind is fine. It’s the part of you that
holds you back from achieving this goal. Now I would like to thank this part, and
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you should also, we may not like what it has done, but it has been doing this for a
reason. I would like you to let this part look at all the behaviors and beliefs that has
caused it to do this. Many times, as we are growing up, we learn things that were not
intended. A child may hear, “Clean your plate, people are starving in parts of the
world.” The parent means to not waste food, not overeat. So really, we mis-learn
information. (Insert specifics here, such as: Sometimes, our pre-conscious minds
misunderstand events or situations. It is not uncommon for a parent or authority
figure to tell us to “work harder or you will never succeed,” or “you’re a loser,” and
our minds only hear the negative.) Sometimes an event that did not work out, a
dropped ball, a bad move, a split-second pause, can cause us to replay these events
as if they were a part of us, not just something that happened that we can learn
from.
5) Now I invite this part to release this event and any others that may be
holding you back. You may allow yourself to see these events or causes in a new
light.”
So now this part can relearn what it needs to do to take care of you even
better.
6) Now let these two parts face each other in your mind’s eye, each part
acknowledging the other. Many people notice an energy connection between the two.
Both parts realize they are not giving anything up; they will be stronger for the
merger. Each has something the other needs. That’s right.
7) Now watch and listen to both these valuable parts of yourself, allowing the
two parts to come together only as fast as those two parts can blend and integrate in
ways most comfortable and useful to you…in such a way that neither part loses
anything, retaining the usefulness and importance of both parts, each gaining from
the other the qualities and capacities that are lacking in themselves and present in
the other.
You may be fascinated to observe some of the changes that occur in these two
images as they start to come together…only as fast as they can comfortably
NFNLP Basic Practitioner - 52
assimilate these changes. You may also be surprised by the image that is created
when the two images finally join and become a single image as they melt into each
other and take on each other’s capacities. And notice what the new image looks like,
because this new part represents a combination of abilities you’ve never had
before…as such, this new part will have additional skills and abilities that you could
never have guessed at, that you can enjoy…new ways of accomplishing all of these
important outcomes simultaneously…
8) Associate with the new integrated part.
9) When you are ready, imagine this part coming into yourself, into that
place where you feel love and belief – into your body somehow, so that it becomes a
part of you and all your behaviors, easily and readily available. It will be as true for
you as the love you feel for this person, place, or thing. As you do this, you feel a
surge of energy in your body as this part reunites with you…take a few moments to
appreciate and enjoy the qualities of this unique new part.
10) Now think of the specific times and places where you want these
integrated qualities and capacities to be fully at your disposal in the future…”
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New Behavior Generator
1. Pick a person you want to model; a person who has the skills and abilities you want.
2. Watch a movie of your model doing the things you would like to do.
3. Watch the movie again. Be sure to notice all the nuances. (See and feel how
comfortable they are.)
4. See your model’s aura, their life force. Notice the color, vibration, and sound. Notice
how it gives them that special something, and know that the more we give this away
the more we have.
5. Now watch the movie while replacing your model with yourself. Do everything
your model did while keeping their aura about you.
6. Watch yourself again, noticing the nuances and see how comfortable you are.
Absorb their life force.
7. Step into the movie. See, hear, and feel everything as you do replay the scene.
Make it uniquely yours.
Give yourself a cue to have these talents and abilities emerge.
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6-Step Reframing Outline
1. Set up yes/no signals with the subconscious.
2. Identify a pattern of behavior to be changed. Talk to the subconscious part that
is causing the behavior you want to change, X. Thank it for the good job it has
done for you and let it know that you realize it has a positive intention in causing
the behavior.
3. Set up yes/no signals with the subconscious.
Identify a pattern of behavior to be changed.
a. Ask the subconscious mind to give yes/no signals by raising the index finger of
either hand. (i.e. right index finger raised for “yes”, left index finger raised for
“no”.) Thank the part when the signals have been established.
b. Ask, “Are you willing to allow the conscious mind to know what it is of value
that occurs when it does X?” If “yes,” say “Thank you. Now go ahead and let it
know, and when you’ve done that, give me a “yes” signal. If “no,” proceed.
4. Create new alternatives.
a. Ask that part if it would be willing to go into the person’s creative resources and
get 3 new ways to accomplish this positive function other than X. (The part is
under no obligation to accept or use these choices, only to find them.)
b. When you get a “yes,” thank the part again, tell it to go ahead, and then give you
a “yes” signal when it has the 3 new choices.
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Evaluate new alternatives.
a. Ask that part to evaluate each choice in terms of whether subconsciously it
believes the choice is at least as immediate, effective and available as X. Each
time the part identifies one that it believes is, have it give you a “yes” signal.
b. If you get less than three, recycle to Step 4 until you have the choices.
5. Select one alternative.
a. Ask the part to select the new way it considers the most satisfying and available
in achieving the positive function, and to give you a “yes” signal when it has
selected.
b. As the subconscious part if it would be willing to try the new alternative in
appropriate situations. Wait for the “yes” signal.
6. Future-Pace. Ask the subconscious to go into a fantasy of trying out the new
behaviors in the appropriate context, like trying on a new pair of shoes. Walk
around in appropriate situations to see how this new behavior feels. How does it
affect others around you? Are there any harmful side affects? Ask all parts if they
have any objections to using the new behavior. Make sure all parts agree. Have it
notify you either “yes” it is working, or “no” it isn’t. If the answer is “yes,” you
have a new behavior. If not, recycle to Step 4 and generate some new alternatives.
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The Swish Pattern
By Will Horton
This technique takes any unwanted behavior and transforms it into a desire to
become more the person you want to be. It is useful anytime you want to change
unwanted behaviors or feelings.
1. Get a large disassociated picture of yourself at your very best. This image will be of
the way you want to be (an image on a book cover, a film actor/actress, etc…). Make
this picture as big and colorful as possible. If you wish you may attach sounds and
smells to this picture to make it as real as possible. Store this as your “very best you
picture.”
2. Establish a picture of the problem or behavior you wish to remove (fingernail biting,
cigarette smoking, etc.). This is an associated picture, through your eyes. Store this
image as your cue picture.
3. Put the cue picture (the image of the unwanted behavior) in front of the “very best
you picture.” Place a dot in the center of the cue picture and have the dot open up,
similar to a camera shutter, so that all you see is the big colorful picture of you at your
very best.
Open your eyes.
4.
5.
Repeat this process 5-6 times.
Test.
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Swish Pattern Exercises
1. Have your partner choose a compulsion you wish to remove. Ask them to visualize a
large brightly colored image of the unwanted compulsion and set it aside for a
moment.
2. Picture yourself as if you were already in control of your own destiny, having
achieved all your desires in your life. Visualize this with a deep compelling intensity.
To complete this picture, add a forceful voice that is confirming your need of this
future.
3. Take the large, bright, unwanted compulsion image and put a small dark image of
your desired state in the lower left-hand corner. Have the large bright picture
suddenly get dark, as the small dark picture simultaneously springs up in size to
replace it and gets very big and bright.
4. Repeat this process very quickly five times in a row, and make the sound “swish”
each time. Open your eyes for a moment after each time you complete the process.
1. Place the image of the unwanted compulsion on a rubber band and push it all the way
out to the horizon. When it is very small, have a tiny image of how you want to be.
Begin in the center of the compulsion and then release the rubber band so it “snaps
back” very quickly into your face.
2. Try in vain to even have the unwanted compulsion image affect you again in any but
the most positive way.
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Computer Swish
By Wil Horton
1. Imagine the problem – see it through your eyes VAK.
2. Imagine the ideal you – the you that would never have this problem. The ideal
you – looking, acting, being – way beyond the problem.
3. Imagine a computer screen – see the problem. Imagine the mouse in your hand.
Notice the icon.
4. Double-click and watch the problem disappear, and instantly replace with the
ideal you.
5. Repeat 5 times. (Problem will have trouble returning.)
6. Drag the problem to the trash folder – have it go to the same area where things are
you would never do again.
This is a great way to track how fast your brain works. FAST. It opens up to talk
about rewriting programs, once changed, the system runs differently.
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Godiva Chocolate Pattern
Richard Bandler
1)
Create an associated intense picture of something you are compelled to do, you
love, etc. Get cues.
Anchor. (Anchor #1)
2)
Break state.
3)
Create a picture of something you need to do but have trouble getting started -
bills, paperwork, taxes, etc.
Dissociated (See yourself performing these actions.)
Anchor. (Anchor #2)
4)
Bring up the picture from step 1. Fire and hold Anchor #1.
As the person fades the image, bring up picture #2. Fire Anchor #2.
5)
Hold both anchors simultaneously.
6)
TEST
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NLP Handshake Interrupt Induction
From Milton Erikson and Dave Elman
1)
Reach out as if to shake hands.
2)
Clasp the client’s wrist, turn the palm inward, and bring it up to eye level.
3)
Point to the client’s palm and tell him/her to focus and stare at his/her hand.
4)
Tell the client to relax and focus on his/her palm. Notice that he/she is starting to
feel tired. His/her eyes are really tired.
5)
Tell him/her to close his/her eyes and remain focused on his/her hand.
6)
Let go of his/her hand as you tell him/her that he/she will lower his/her arm only
as fast as he/she can comfortably relax.
7)
Use the More The More technique.
“The more you find yourself wondering what is going on; the more you find
yourself relaxing deeply. The more you try to remain alert; the more you relax
and let go.”
8)
Finish pushing down the client’s arm, repeating the above step.
9)
Implant the suggestions. Also implant the ability to return to the trance state.
10)
Awaken the client as you shake his/her hand.
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NLP-Based “Nonverbal” Induction
From Mark Howell and Dave Elman
1)
Set the pre-trance state.
Use exact wording that presupposes deep trance.
Hand gesture downward to presuppose deep trance.
Implant the More The More state of mind. (“The more you find yourself
resisting, the more you find yourself deeply relaxing.”)
2)
Give the signal to open the eyes; reinforce the deep trance state.
3)
Take the client’s hand and move left to right above the eye level. Have the client
follow with his/her head still.
4)
Close the client’s eyes with a downward motion. Touch the client if necessary.
5)
Perform the Arm Lock for ten seconds.
6)
Lower the arm and pull down.
7)
Pull down on the opposite arm. Let the arms dangle.
8)
Push down on the shoulder with the client’s exhale. Do this three to five times.
9)
Pull down on the arms. Allow them to flop into the client’s lap. Push down on
the forearms.
10)
Head roll, if possible.
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11)
Arm lock (5 to 10 seconds)
12)
Lower the arm in stages. Pull down on the arm and allow it to flop into the lap.
13)
Check for muscle looseness, skin color, and breathing.
14)
Repeat pushing downward on the client’s shoulders on exhale.
15)
Give the suggestions and/or reinforcements at this time.
16)
Signal the client to open his/her eyes.
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Building Self-Confidence
A Strategy for Responding to Criticism
This technique allows you to stay resourceful when you’re criticized, whether it’s
at home, at work, or with friends. This enables you to use criticism as feedback to
improve your relationships.
1. See yourself, in front of you. That self in front of you is going to learn a new approach
to criticism, while you watch from the outside. Do whatever you need to do to feel
detached from that self. You can see that self farther away, in black and white, or behind
Plexiglas, etc.
2. Watch and listen as that self gets criticized and instantly dissociates. There are several
ways that self can dissociate. He/She can surround him/herself with a Plexiglas shield
when he/she was criticized. Or, that self can see the words of criticism printed within a
cartoon balloon (like the comic strips), etc. That self uses one of these methods to keep
feeling neutral or resourceful.
3. Watch as that self makes a slide or movie of what the criticizer is saying. What does
that person mean? Does that self have enough information to make a clear, detailed
picture? If the answer is “no,” gather information. If the answer is “yes,” proceed to the
next step.
4. Have that self decide on a response. For example, that self can agree with any part of
the criticism that you agree with. Or, that self could apologize, saying “I’ll give it some
serious thought,” or, “I see things differently now,” and so forth.
5. Does that self want to use the information you got from this criticism to act differently
next time? If so, have that self select a new behavior. That self will then imagine using
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the new behavior in detail in the future. Next, that self can step into this movie of using
the new behavior, to feel what it will be like.
6. Having watched that self go through this entire strategy, do you want this for yourself?
If the answer is “no,” ask inside how you can modify this strategy so it fits for you. If the
answer is “yes,” continue.
7. Thank that self for being a special resource to you in learning this strategy. Now pull
that self into you, feeling her/him fill you, so that this knowledge becomes fully
integrated into you.
From Heart of the Mind, by Connirae and Steve Andreas. Used with permission. © 1989
Real People Press.
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Developing Self-Appreciation
Seeing Yourself Through the Eyes of Someone Who Loves You
This technique helps you to gain the appreciation for yourself that others have for you. It
is useful for building self-appreciation and confidence.
1. Identify someone who loves you. Or think of someone who you’ve done something
for and who, as a result, sincerely appreciates you.
2. Then, imagine you are writing your autobiography. As you do so, glance up to see,
on the other side of a glass door, the person who loves or appreciates you.
3. Next, float your awareness outside the room and stand next to this person. Now see
yourself through the glass door, making your own observations.
4. Then enter the body of the person who loves you. See yourself through this person’s
eyes of love or appreciation. Also, listen to this person’s thoughts of love about you.
Have this person’s feelings.
5. When this is completed, float back into your body and write the qualities and aspects
of yourself that you saw and heard when you looked through the eyes of love and
appreciation.
6. Think of possible times and places, both now and in the future, when you’ll want to
re-experience this sense of deep self-appreciation.
From Solutions: Enhancing Love, Sex & Relationships by Leslie Cameron-Bandler.
Used with permission. © 1985 Michael LeBeau and Leslie Cameron-Bandler
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It Reminds Me of a Story…
The Ugly Chicken
I had a friend who was a farmer, and one day he was walking past his chickens.
He glances at them and there was one that was ugly…a butt-ugly chicken. He looked at
that thing — every time he looked at it got bigger and uglier.
One day he noticed that it was a lot bigger than the rest. A friend of his who
happened to walk by noticed the ugly chicken and said, “Hey man! Now how did you get
an eagle in there? That’s not a chicken…that’s an eagle!” Nobody knew how that little
eagle ended up with those chickens, but there it was, pecking corn, acting like – well, a
chicken.
The farmer let this eagle, who thought he was a chicken, grow. The eagle felt
rather restricted, for he was now bigger -- he was overpowering. And slowly, he began to
feel different than the others. He ate corn but his beak was hooked, it was different than
the other chickens, so it was difficult for him to eat the corn. And he didn’t like the taste
of it very much.
He had different drives and urges. Finally he said to one of his friends when a
mouse walked by, “Don’t you ever just want to get one of those, rip it apart and eat it?”
The chickens were upset and said, “You cannibal!” He talked with one of the older
chickens and they didn’t know what to do.
Finally, the farmer knew something had to be done. He didn’t know what, but he
knew he had to do something. So he took the eagle and put him up in the hayloft in the
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barn and left him there for the day. The eagle began noticing that he could really see
things from his new high perch — he saw a rabbit hopping around about a quarter mile
away, birds flying, etc.
After a while he began to get hungry. Even the corn started to look good because
the hungrier you get the better things looked. He didn’t know what to do. Everyone
knows chickens can’t fly. He got so hungry and couldn’t stand it anymore. Some of our
mothers used to say, if you get hungry enough it will move you to action!
So he took a deep breath and said, “You know, I am going to jump down there and
eat, if the fall kills me, at least it’s over. It’s either jump or starve to death.” So he closes
his eyes, takes a deep breath, and I don’t know if eagles have knees, but he bends his legs
and he jumps!
The moment he did, nature took over, and he spread his wings. Nature finds a
way. And as his wings shot out….that six foot wing span, a breeze caught him and he was
SOARING through the air! He opened his eyes for a moment and it scared the hell out of
him. All of a sudden, he looks down and he was 200 feet in the air and he didn’t even
know he could do this.
Because everyone knows chickens can’t fly.
But eagles can. They soar.
Because he took that leap of faith, there he was, flying around and he didn’t know
what to do! Then he found he could do some stuff, like he could flap his wings and it
made him fly higher. He could tilt his wings and like a jet could cut this way and that.
Nature knew what he was supposed to do and he did it.
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He was having fun and he saw a rabbit hopping, he thinks about it….he thinks
about the corn in the barnyard, sees the rabbit, thinks the corn, sees the rabbit, thinks the
corn, dips his wings….eats the rabbit.
The minute he finished he realized it was the best meal he had ever had, it was the
way he was meant to eat, like a king. He felt guilty. He was trained to do what chickens
normally did, not to do this.
He flew back to the barnyard, circled around and the other chickens ran and hid.
Then the other chickens realized who he was and started to ignore him the way they
always did. The eagle got upset and went to one of the old roosters…kind of a mentor.
The rooster, for the first time gave him some good advice. He said, maybe you are
just different -- not good or bad, just different.
You look different, you act different….sometimes it takes more courage to leave
what you have always known….you know you shouldn’t be there, than it does to stay, so
whatever choice you make is going to be rough.
The eagle left and saw another large bird flying …he really dipped his eagle
wings and realized he can really move. It was a hawk. The hawk was afraid at first
because eagles eat hawks, more like they own the sky. The hawk feared the eagle at first,
but the eagle just wanted to talk.
The eagle said, “I am just a big chicken flying around here. Why are you afraid of
me?”
The hawk said, “Chicken? What are you talking about? You are an eagle, king of
the sky!”
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The eagle said, “But I live on the ground.”
The hawk answered, “No, you don’t. You are supposed to live in the trees.”
Somebody had to point it out. So the eagle left and he landed in the trees and began to do
things quite naturally. Within no time he learned to hunt, dive, fish…..and then he saw
another eagle flying by and he felt something stir inside. He thought something was there
and it was a girl eagle. They paired off and began to talk, and she was fascinated by his
background.
He took her to the barnyard. She said, “It’s interesting down here! But I really
don’t like the smell, I don’t like the people, either! Other than that I guess it’s all right.”
He turned out to be quite an asset to the other eagles because he brought a
different perspective they never had…he brought a chicken’s view of the world to them.
And that maybe they had a gift, that maybe they didn’t even know they had up there,
because he had to climb up through the ranks…so to speak.
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Other Selected NLP References
Futurepace, Inc – San Rafael, CA:
Cameron-Bandler, Leslie; Gordon, David; and Lebeau, Michael. Know How.
1985.
Cameron-Bandler, Leslie; Gordon, David; and Lebeau, Michael. The Emprint
Method.
1985.
Meta Publications – Cupertino, CA:
Bandler, Richard; and MacDonald, Will. An Insider’s Guide to Sub-Modalities.
1988
Cameron-Bandler, Leslie. They Lived Happily Ever After. 1978.
Dilts, Robert; and Cameron-Bandler, Leslie. Neuro-Linguistic Programming, vol.
I.
1980.
Farrelly, Frank; and Brandsma, Jeff. Provacative Therapy. 1978.
Richardson, Jerry. The Magic of Rapport. 1987.
Real People Press – Moab, UT:
Andreas, Steve; and Andreas, Connirae. Change Your Mind -- and Keep the
Change. 1987.
Andreas, Steve; and Andreas, Conirae. Heart of the Mind: engaging your inner
power to change with Neuro-Linguistic Programming. 1989.
Bandler, Richard. Using Your Brain – for a CHANGE. 1989.
Bandler, Richard; and Grinder, John. Frogs into Princes. 1979.
Bandler, Richard; and Grinder, John. Reframing: Neuro-Linguistic Programming
and the Transformation of Meaning. 1982.
Science and Behavior Books – Palo Alto, CA:
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Bandler, Richard; and Grinder, John. The Structure of Magic, vols. 1 and 2.
1975 and 1976.
Exquisite Information Gathering
This summary of the Meta-Model is reprinted from an Appendix to Solutions, by
Leslie Cameron-Bandler, ©1985 Future-Pace Inc., and may not be duplicated or reprinted
without written permission from the author and publisher.
Appendix I: The Meta-Model
Throughout the text of this book I have referred you to this appendix for a
presentation of the meta-model. The meta-model is an explicit set of linguistic
information gathering tools designed to reconnect a person’s language to the experience
that is represented by their language.
Fundamental to the useful application of this material is the concept that language is
not experience, but rather a representation of experience, like a map is a representation of
a territory. While I’m sure that you are familiar with the notion that the map is not the
territory, I wonder if you have fully realized that, as human beings, we will forever
experience only the map and not the territory. Actually, as persons who assist people in
changing, this is to our advantage. We alter maps: that is, we change people’s subjective
experience of the world, not the world itself.
We make our maps out of the interaction between internal and external experience.
Because we humans represent (or build) maps of our experience with language, a set of
tools like those provided by the meta-model is invaluable. Essentially, the meta-model
serves as an interface between language and experience.
All of the following material was developed by Richard Bandler and John Grinder,
and a more detailed presentation can be found in The Structure of Magic. What follows
is a summation of their material, reorganized to facilitate its usefulness to you.
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Three Universal Modeling Processes
Because we must assess the world we live in based on information that is filtered
through our five senses, our brains create models or maps of the world that we use to
guide our behavior. The models allow us to make sense out of our experiences. They are
not to be evaluated as good, bad, healthy, sick, or crazy – but rather for their ability to
make it possible to cope successfully and respond creatively to the world around us.
To be an effective therapist, you must understand your client’s model or map of the
world. Human behavior – no matter how bizarre or resistant it may seem – makes sense
when we see it in the context of the choices, or the lack of choices, generated by the
client’s model. It is not that our clients are making the wrong choices. It is just that they
do not have enough choices available to deal effectively with an issue.
Each of us makes the very best choices available to us from our model of the world.
However, many people have adopted models lacking in useful choices as displayed by
the endless conflicts both within and among humankind. “It is not the world that lacks
choices but the individual’s model of the world,” say Grinder and Bandler.
We create our models through three universal modeling processes: generalization,
deletion, and distortion. These processes allow us to survive, grow, learn, understand,
and experience the richness the world has to offer. But if we mistake our subjective
reality for reality, these same processes limit us and squelch our ability to be flexible in
our responses.
Generalization is the process by which people apply parts of a model they
developed during their original (and often forgotten) experience to the entire category of
which the experience is an example. We learn to function in the world by generalizing.
A child learns to open a door by turning a knob. He then generalizes this experience to
the many types of phenomena he recognizes as doors and attempts to open all of them by
turning the knobs. As a man enters a darkened room, he reaches for the light switch. He
does not have to learn a new strategy for producing light in every new room he enters.
However, the same process can work as a limitation. If a man fails once to perform
sexually in a way that he deems adequate and then generalizes his experience to deciding
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that he is no good at sex, he would deny himself much indeed. Or, if a woman decides
that all men are insensitive based on limited and selective experiences, she loses a great
deal.
Each of us makes many generalizations that are useful and appropriate in some
situations and not in others. For example, a child might learn from his family's responses
that crying and whining will get him what he wants, yet the same behavior will likely get
him abuse from his peers. If he generalizes only the former behavior and not the latter,
he may not be able to generate more appropriate and useful behavior in the company of
his peers. If a young man generalizes only those behaviors that are useful among fellow
males, he may experience great difficulty in obtaining respect and interest from women.
Whether or not a generalization is useful must be evaluated in the particular context.
Deletion is a second method that can enable us to cope effectively or to limit
ourselves. We delete when we selectively pay attention to certain aspects of our
experience and exclude others. This allows us to focus our awareness and attend to one
portion of our experience over others. Thus, someone can read a book with people
around him talking, or with the TV on, or with the stereo playing. This process enables
us to cope and prevents us from being overwhelmed by external stimuli.
Again though, the same process can be limiting if we delete portions of our
experience that are necessary for a full and rich model of the world. The adolescent who
believes he is being unjustly treated and picked on and doesn’t perceive his own
participation in creating the situation has not developed a useful model of the world. A
therapist who deletes sensory information because she becomes bored during sessions is
limiting her own experience as well as that of her clients.
The third modeling process is distortion. Distortion allows us to make shifts in how
we experience sensory information. Without this process we could not plan for the future
or make dreams into reality. We misrepresent reality in fiction, art, and even science. A
microscope, a novel, and a painting are all examples of our ability to distort and make
misrepresentations of reality. However, we can limit ourselves with distortion in many
ways.
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Think, for example, of the person who distorts all criticism with the response, "I'm
unlovable." As a result of such distortion, any value in the criticism is lost - together with
the opportunities for change and growth. Or, consider the frequent use of distortion in
turning a process into a thing. When the process of relating , for example, is
disassociated from “relationship,” those involved suffer a loss. The relationship becomes
something out there to be talked about, out of control, and no longer dynamic. Because
these three universal modeling processes are expressed in language patterns, we can use
the set of linguistic tools known as the meta-model to challenge them when they limit
rather than expand a person's behavioral choices.
The meta-model is designed to teach the listener how to hear and respond to the form
of the speaker’s communication. The content may vary infinitely, but the form of the
information given allows the listener the opportunity to respond in such a way as to
obtain the fullest meaning from the communication. With the meta-model, it is possible
to quickly discern the richness and the limits of the information given as well as the
human modeling processes used by the speaker. By listening and responding using the
meta-model distinctions, we create the most understanding and learning from any specific
communication.
The meta-model distinctions fall into three natural groupings:
❑
Gathering Information
❑
Limits of the Speaker's Model
❑
Semantic Ill-formedness
Gathering information refers to gaining, through appropriate questions and responses, an
accurate and full description of the content being presented. Again, this process assists in
reconnecting the speaker's language with his or her experience. There are four sub-distinctions in
this category. Note: the parenthesis to the right helps to explain each category.
❑
Deletion (About Whom or What?)
❑
Lack of Referential Index (Who or What?)
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❑
Unspecified Verbs (How?)
❑
Nominalizations (Thing or Event rephrased as a Process)
Deletion Recognizing when a deletion has occurred and assisting in recovering the
deleted information aids in restoring a fuller representation of the experience. To recover
the missing material, the meta-modeler asks: ABOUT WHOM? Or ABOUT WHAT?
“I don't understand.”
(Response) “You don't understand what?”
(Or) “What don’t you understand?”
“I'm afraid.”
(Response) “What or whom are you afraid of?”
“I don't like him.”
(Response) “What about him don't you like?”
“He's the best.”
(Response) “He's the best what?”
“He’s the best listener.”
(Response) “He’s the best listener amongst whom?”
(Or) “Between whom?”
In the case of deletion, asking the question, “How, specifically?” will elicit
information concerning the representational system being used by the client.
“I don't understand.”
(Response) “How, specifically, do you know you don't understand?”
“It's just not clear to me.” (i.e., visual representation)
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Lack of Referential Index: This is a type of generalization that limits a person's
model of the world by leaving out the detail and richness necessary to have a variety of
options for coping. With this process, a person takes an experience and generalizes it in
such a way that it's totally out of perspective or out of proportion. To challenge a lack of
referential index, ask: WHO SPECIFICALLY? Or WHAT SPECIFICALLY?
“No one wants me.”
(Response) “Who, specifically, doesn't want you?”
“They are obstinate.”
(Response) "Who, specifically, is obstinate?”
"This is hard”
(Response) “What, specifically, about this is hard for you?”
Unspecified Verbs These leave us in the dark about the experience being described. All
verbs are relatively unspecified. However, "kiss" is much more specific than “touch.” If
someone says he's been hurt, it could have been from a harsh look given by someone
important to them, or they might have been hit by a car. Asking for verb specification
reconnects the person more fully to his or her experience. To challenge unspecified
verbs, ask: HOW SPECIFICALLY?
“He rejected me.”
(response) “How, specifically, did he reject you?”
“They ignored me.”
(response) "How, specifically, did they ignore you?'
“The children force me to punish them.”
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(response) "How, specifically, do the children force you to punish them?"
Nominalizations These are words that have been transformed from verbs, or
process words, into nouns – making an ongoing process into a thing or an event. When
this happens, we lose choices and need to be reconnected with the ongoing, dynamic
process of life. Reversing nominalizations assists a person in being able to see that what
they had considered an event – over and beyond their control – is, in fact, a continuing
process that can be changed.
Nominalizations can be distinguished from regular nouns in several ways. For those
who enjoy visualizing, picture a wheelbarrow in your mind's eye. Now put a chair, then a
cat, then your mother in the wheelbarrow. Now try putting failure, virtue, projections,
and confusion into that wheelbarrow. As you can see, nominalizations are not persons,
places, or things that can be put into a wheelbarrow. Another way to test for
nominalizations is to check whether the event word fits into a syntactic frame, an ongoing
__________. If it does, it is a nominalization.
an ongoing problem (nominalization)
an ongoing elephant
an ongoing chair
an ongoing relationship (nominalization)
To transform a nominalization back into a process word, use it as a verb in the
response:
“I don't get any recognition.”
(Response) “How would you like to be recognized?”
“Pay attention.”
(Response) “What do you want me to attend to?”
“I regret my decision.”
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(Response) “Does anything stop you from re-deciding?”
“I want help.”
(Response) “How do you want to be helped?”
The next group of meta-model distinctions is referred to as limits of the speaker's
model. These distinctions identify unsupported generalizations or restrictions in a
person’s thinking. By challenging them appropriately, you can assist a person in
enriching their model of the world by expanding it. The two distinctions in this category
are:
❑
Universal Quantifiers (All or nothing thinking)
❑
Modal Operators (Must and can’t thinking)
Universal Quantifiers These are the words typified by “all,” “every,” “always,”
“never,” “nobody.” Emphasizing the generalization described by the speaker's universal
quantifiers by exaggerating it - both by voice quality and by inserting additional universal
quantifiers – serves to challenge them. This assists them in finding the exception to their
generalization and thus helps them identify more choices. Another way to challenge
directly is to ask whether the speaker has had an experience that contradicts his or her
own generalization.
“I never do anything right.”
(Response) “You absolutely never ever do anything right?”
(Or) “Have you ever done anything right?”
“You're always lying to me."
(Response) “I'm always lying to you?”
“It's impossible to get what I want.”
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(Response) “Have you ever gotten something you wanted?”
Modal Operators of Necessity These words indicate a lack of choice: “have to,”
“must,” “can’t,” “it’s necessary.” Challenging these modal operators takes a person
beyond the limits they have heretofore accepted. Two excellent responses that serve to
challenge these limits are: WHAT STOPS YOU? And WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF
YOU DID?
The response, “What stops you?” serves to take the person into the past to find the
experience from which this generalization was formed. “What would happen if you
did?” demands that the client go into the future and imagine possible consequences.
These responses assist someone in achieving a richer and fuller model of the world.
“I can’t do it.”
(Response) “What stops you?”
“You have to finish by Tuesday.”
(Response) “What would happen if I didn’t?”
“I have to take care of other people.”
(Response) “What will happen if you don’t?”
“I can’t tell him the truth
(Response) “What will happen if you do?”
(Or) “What stops you from telling him the truth?”
The third group of distinctions is concerned with semantic ill-formedness. The value
of recognizing sentences based on unsubstantiated responsibility, assumptions or
judgments is that it allows you to assist the person in identifying the portions of their
model that are distorted in some way. Making the speaker aware of those portions of
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their model based on unsubstantiated beliefs rather than fact gives him or her greater
choice and freedom. It is these ill-formed portions that frequently stop the person from
acting in ways they would otherwise choose to act. The three classes of semantic
ill-formedness are:
❑
Cause and Effect (Perceived responsibility)
❑
Mind Reading (Assumptions)
❑
Lost Performative (Judgements)
Cause and Effect This involves the belief that some action on the part of one
person can cause another person to act in a particular way or to experience some emotion
or inner state. In other words, the person believes he or she has no choice concerning
how to respond. When this belief is challenged, it allows the person to explore and
question their cause-effect connection. They can then begin to wonder about other
possible responses they could choose. The challenge is, HOW DOES X CAUSE Y?
“Your writing on the wall bothers me.”
(Response) "How does my writing on the wall bother you?”
(Or) "...make you feel bothered?”
“You frustrate me.”
(Response) “How do I frustrate you? How is it possible for me to frustrate you?”
(Or) “ ... make you feel annoyed?”
“I'm sad because you're late.”
(Response) “How does my being late make you feel sad?”
Mind Reading Mind reading is the speaker’s belief that one person can know what
another person is thinking or feeling without a direct communication from the second
person. In other words, the speaker is acting on assumptions rather than information.
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Obviously, mind reading can do much to inhibit the usefulness of a person's model of the
world. The challenge to mind reading is, HOW, SPECIFICALLY, DO YOU KNOW X?
This helps the speaker become aware of, and even to question, those assumptions he or
she may have previously taken for granted.
“Everybody thinks I’m taking too much time.”
(Response) “How, specifically, do you know that everybody is thinking that?”
“I’m sure you can see how I feel.”
(Response) “How, specifically, can you be sure I see how you feel?”
“I know what’s best for him.”
(Response) “How, specifically, do you know what is best for him?”
“He never considers the consequences.”
(Response) “How, specifically, do you know he never considers the consequences?”
Lost Performative Lost performative refers to statements made in the form of a
generalization about the world itself rather than recognized as belonging to the speaker’s
model of the world. Usually, they are judgments. The speaker is using a lost
performative when he applies “rules” from his model of the world on others. Phrased in
the vernacular, this is called laying your trip on somebody else. The purpose in
challenging this is to enable the speaker to have his own rules and opinions while
comfortably allowing others to have their own. Frequently, with lost performative, there
is no indication that the speaker is even aware of other options or possibilities. To
challenge that mindset, ask FOR WHOM?
“It’s wrong to be on welfare.”
(Response) “It’s wrong for whom to be on welfare?”
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“This is the right way to do it.”
(Response) “This is the right way for whom?”
“That’s a sick thing to do.”
(Response) “Sick for whom?”
As stated at the beginning, the meta-model is a set of tools for building better
communication. It requires that your client make his communication more clearly
understandable by asking what, how, and who in response to the specific form of the
client’s language. Your skills as a meta-modeler depend on your willingness and ability
to implement the questions and the responses provided by the meta-model.
As you practice the meta-model, pay careful attention to your internal processes.
Since it is a formalization of intuitive behavior, you would turn to the meta-model
responses rather than refer to an your own internally generated experience to understand
a client’s communication. For example, when a client says, "My father hurt me," in
order to understand fully what is meant by this statement, you must ask, "How?" The
client may have been beaten, yelled at, scowled at, or simply ignored. If you decide that
you understand what is meant by the word "hurt" by simply calling on your own
experience, then you are, in fact, meeting the client at your model for the world, not his.
The meta-model allows you to stay attuned to your client’s perception of the world
instead of slipping into your own subjective experience for understanding. Simply insert
the appropriate meta-model responses at those points where you previously would have
had to refer to your own internal experience to understand (or attempt to understand) your
client's meaning.
As an example, suppose a client says to you, “I'm afraid of crowds.” If you go inside
and decide, “Oh yeah, afraid of crowds, yes, I know about that,” then you have missed
the opportunity to further connect the client with his own experience. But the responses
provided by the meta-model – “How do you know you are afraid of crowds?” or “What
about crowds frightens you?” or “What stops you from being comfortable in crowds?” –
serve to keep you with the client’s experience and help them generate answers and new
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possibilities for growth from his or her own resources. What’s more, those resources
might be ones you have yet developed.
Finding those points at which you do go inside to internal experience to understand a
given communication and inserting the meta-model questions instead will greatly
enhance your effectiveness as a therapist. And it will facilitate integration of the
meta-model into your automatic unconscious behavior. One way to do this is by having a
friend generate sentences that contain a meta-model violation. With each one, determine
how your intuitions express themselves.
For example, if you hear the statement, "My feelings were hurt," and form a mental
picture, how do you know how the other person’s feelings were hurt, and by whom or
what? If you remembered (whether visually, kinesthetically, auditorially) a time when
your own feelings were hurt, then you are "understanding" from your experience, not
hers. As you become keenly aware of your own internal processes, you will learn those
cues that signal you when you are going inside to make sense instead of staying in the
present. Once you have identified what your own signal is, you can utilize it by inserting
the meta-model responses instead of your own internalization. Each time you are
signaled that something is missing or doesn't make sense, you will know that a
meta-model response would be useful and appropriate.
The meta-model is based on human intuitions. Therefore, if you become keenly
aware of those intuitions, learning the meta-model can be a quick and easy process.
Those intuitions can be expressed in any representational system – visual, auditory,
kinesthetic, etc. If I say, for example, “The giraffe was chased,” you have an intuition
that something was left out. Perhaps your picture is incomplete. Or, if you represent
kinesthetically, you don't know how fast the giraffe should be running. Neither of these
representations is complete until you know the answer to "Chased by what?" Regardless
of how your intuitions express themselves, you would insert the meta-model question at
this point to extract the fullest possible meaning from the communication.
To utilize these intuitions in teaching the meta-model distinctions, begin by (1) generating
sentences to the learner that contain one pattern of meta-model violation; (2) ask the learner what
his experience is; and (3) once you have determined how the learner’s intuitions express
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themselves concerning this pattern, have them ask the appropriate meta-model question – making
it an integral portion of the expression of those same intuitions. So, if he has an incomplete
picture, he asks for the rest of it. If he feels puzzled, insert the question that will put the piece in
place. If it doesn’t sound right, or if it is out of tune, insert the question that will make harmony
of the discord. By varying the content of the statements containing the meta-model violations, the
repetition necessary to integrate the meta-model question with the intuition can remain
stimulating.
The intuitions will vary within a person for the various patterns. There may be a
feeling for universal quantifiers, a picture for nominalizations, and a sound for cause and
effect. Each person will have a unique set, but each person will also fall into consistent
patterns. Once the patterns have been learned, these exercises can help to further
integrate them into everyday behavior.
Be sure to learn (or teach) the meta-model in the three categories outlined in this
appendix: Gathering Information, Limits of the Speaker’s Model and Semantic
Ill-formedness. In this way, you (or the student) will have appropriately organized the
meta-model for easy and full integration and conscious and unconscious processes.
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Meta-Model Outline Summary:
A. Gathering Information
1. Deletion
2. Lack of Referential Index
3. Unspecified Verbs
4. Nominalizations
B. Limits of the speaker’s model
5. Universal Quantifiers
6. Modal Operators
C. Semantic Ill-formedness
7. Cause and Effect
8. Mind Reading
9. Lost Perfomative
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APPENDIX II: Timeline
Hurry Up and Slow Down
What could I give to you therapists out there that you could use right now, that would
enable you to be more effective in every area of your lives? To give you an internal
edge? It came to me in early August as I was preparing for the NGH Convention. I
needed help! I thought of a statement I heard at my NLP Master Trainers Training.
Learning to control our internal time clocks can be one of the most beneficial things
we can learn how to do. When I was getting ready for the convention, I was really
pressed for time trying to see clients, plan new business, go over my convention
presentation, work on my book, and maintain my family ties. I was frazzled,
overwhelmed and confused. Then it dawned on me that what I really needed was to be
able to “hurry up and slow down”; to reset my internal time clock to be focused on the
moment and feel like I had more time.
NLP is the study of how people’s brains work. The more I thought about it, the more
I realized that time is a subjective experience. As hypnotists we know about time
distortion which Milton Erickson used for many client problems, including weight
control. He would have his clients go into “slow time” whenever they ate, so they would
be aware of how much they ate, and to allow themselves to feel full.
Most people have had the experience of time moving very slowly, and of time flying.
The language reveals it: time drags, or time flies. In keeping with what NLP is all about,
if you can break the experience down into small enough pieces, or chunks, you can repeat
it and have consistent results.
I set out to understand how people function in relation to time. What I found would
cover many articles, but to highlight my findings:
People naturally change how they process timed fun events, and things that are
physically and mentally involving tend to speed up the internal clock. “Time flies when
you’re having fun.”
Things that are repetitive or boring tend to slow time down. “This class drags.”
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Occasionally people will be able to slip into a mode where time stops, or at least the
outside world slows down, and inside they seem to be in control. Sports seem to be a
good example: the baseball seems to be moving slowly; everyone on the court is slower
than how you seem to be moving. The term “In the Zone” describes it loosely.
There seem to be events that will distort time: driving down the expressway going
70, then pulling off onto a side road and going 35, everything seems to be going very
slowly while you’re at normal speed. Traumatic events throw time out the window; there
seems to be no time relation to events.
Well, if these finding were true, then it would follow that you could speed up or slow
down how you process time. You could even mix and match time processes as needed.
As therapists it would be nice to be in slow time to take in all the information that your
client gives you and use it. It is also nice to be able to drop into fast time on an airplane,
or in a boring meeting.
Here is the exercise that I did at the convention that teaches how to explore this
wonderful world of time. Try it for yourself and let me know what you think. You may
find some very interesting uses for this in your work.
Giving Yourself More Time – Control Your Internal Clock
1. Find a time in your life when time moved very slowly.
Examples are: sitting in a very boring class or lecture where time drags, minutes
seem like hours; stuck in a traffic jam; waiting for bad news; sitting for your
child to return home; sitting in a doctor’s office; sitting in a dentist’s chair.
2. Pick one or two and step into the experience. Notice everything about you. What do
you see, hear, smell, feel, etc.? Look for all the little things.
SEE: Is your vision narrow and focused, or broad and open? Are there colors,
or does it seem dull and in grays?
HEAR: Are the sounds loud or quiet, clearer, muffled, close or far away? What
about internal sounds? Where are the voices?
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FEEL: Where is your center? Are you externally or internally focused? How is
your stomach and chest? Do you feel heavy or light?
SMELL or TASTE: Do you notice anything?
Be as specific as possible. These are your sub-modalities.
3. Clear your mind; break the state.
4. Find a time where time moved very quickly.
Some examples are: a party where the evening is gone before you know it; a
really good movie, where you’re lost in it; a sporting event you’re enjoying
(participating); being with someone you love.
5. Find your sub-modalities for this experience.
6. Compare the differences. Try to mix and match some of these.
Step into “Slow Time,” but with a sense of excitement, try this on to give yourself
more time.
* Try accessing a time in which you used SLOW TIME naturally. Driving down the
expressway, or freeway, going say 70 m.p.h., then when you got off onto a slow road,
things seemed to be moving slowly on the outside. Did you ever just miss having an
accident where time seemed to slow down or stop? Step into this slow time, to give
yourself more time. Try it when you’re with a client and notice how much more
information you can take in.
Step into slow time, add a little background music in your mind and notice the effect
on your focus!
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There are two basic types of Timeline:
Through Time – This is where your timeline never touches you. Your past, present
and future are in front of you; you can see through time. This type of person may be very
organized, like to have things planned out, and may have trouble being in the present.
Numbers 1 and 4 above are typical lines of this type.
In Time – This is where your timeline goes through you at some point as illustrated
in numbers 2, 3 and 5 above. This type of person may be more in the moment, and have
trouble planning and following through.
Remember that this is not written in stone! Also keep in mind something that a lot
of “timeliners” don’t. People have timelines for different things. It is not uncommon for
someone to be very Through Time in his work, i.e. very organized and planned out, but
very In Time in his personal life. Addictions are an In Time phenomenon. You can’t see
your past actions in regard to your addiction.
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So, keep in mind when you’re eliciting a client’s timeline to gather a lot of
information and make sure you have the client elicit the timeline for the problems.
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APPENDIX III: Glossary of Common NLP Terms
Our primary goal is to provide you with reference experiences for the attitudes that
characterize the NLP way of perceiving reality and for the trail of techniques that have been
generated as a consequence. Since many people desire a map (no matter how vague) of the
territory before proceeding with their journey, we also offer this glossary of terms. We trust that
you understand that dictionary definitions are, of necessity, “circular” and are most useful when
they direct you to the reference experiences.
Accessing cues – Behaviors that are correlated with the use of a particular
representational system; i.e. eye movements, postures, breathing, etc.
Analog change – A change which varies continuously; e.g. a dimmer control for lights or
a shift in body position.
Analog marking - Emphasizing a part of a sentence using verbal or non-verbal means;
e.g. a louder tone or a hand gesture.
Anchor – A trigger that leads to an experience as fully and completely as possible (with
all the senses); looking out from one’s own eyes.
Auditory – Referring to the sense of hearing.
Backtrack – To review or summarize.
Break state – To change a person’s state dramatically.
Behavioral flexibility – The ability to vary one’s behavior in order to elicit a response
from another person.
Calibrate – To “read” another person’s verbal and non-verbal responses and associate
specific behaviors with specific internal processes or states.
Calibrated loop – An ongoing interaction in which specific behaviors of each person
trigger specific responses in the other.
Chaining anchors – Firing anchors sequentially in order to direct a person’s experience
along that sequence.
Channel – One of the five senses or representational systems.
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Chunk size – The size of the object, situation or experience being considered. This can
be altered by chunking up (a broader focus), chunking down (a more specific focus) or
chunking sideways or laterally (focusing on others of the same type of class). For
example, beginning with a car, “chunking down” might be to a Ford, “chunking up”
might be to a means of transportation, and “chunking sideways” might be to a plane or
train.
Collapsing Anchors – Firing anchors simultaneously in order to promote integration of
the experiences.
Complex equivalent – A linguistic term to describe the complex set of behaviors that
equal a certain nominalization in a person’ map of reality; e.g. the behaviors that are
“proof” that a certain person “loves” you.
Congruent – When all of a person’s internal strategies, behaviors and parts are in
agreement and working together.
Contrastive analysis – To determine the differences between the submodalities of two or
more representations.
Conversational Postulates – Behavioral presuppositions which are part of the culture
and language patterns but are not identified overtly; e.g. “Do you have a watch?” lead the
other person to tell you the time.
Critical Submodalities – The submodalities which most determine a person’s response.
Cross-over Mirroring – Matching a person’s rhythms but with a different type of
behavior.
Deep Trance Identification – See second position.
Digital Change – A change which is all-or-none, on-or-off with no steps or positions in
between the ends; e.g. a light is on or off, language.
Dissociated – Experiencing from a perspective other than your own.
Driver – The most crucial submodality so that changing it, “automatically” changes
many other submodalities.
Dovetail – To fit together more than one outcome, story, etc..
Ecology – Considering the effects on the whole system instead of on just one part or one
person.
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Embedded command – Nesting a command so that it is grammatically not a command
but is marked out as a command by your analogs; e.g. “It might be worthwhile
considering how to do that!
Eye accessing cues – Movements of a person’s eyes that indicate the representational
system being used.
Firing an anchor – Repeating the overt behavior that triggers a certain response.
First position – Experiencing the world from your own perspective or being associated
into yourself.
Flexibility – Having more than one choice in a situation.
Future Pace – Rehearsing (mentally and physically) so that a specific behavior will
occur naturally and automatically in a future situation.
Generative intervention – An intervention that solves the presenting problem and also
generates other changes that make the person’s life better in many other ways.
Gustatory – Referring to the sense of taste.
Incongruent – When two or more of a person’s parts or programs are in conflict.
Installation – Acquiring a new strategy or behavior.
Kinesthetic – Referring to the sense of feeling. May be subdivided into tactile feelings
(Kt – physically feeling the outside world), proprioceptive feelings (Kp – internal body
sensations such as muscle tension or relaxation) and meta feelings (Km – “emotional”
responses about some object, situation or experience.)
Lead system – The representational system initially used to access stored information.
Leading – Guiding another person in a specific direction.
Lost performative – A linguistic pattern in which the person performing the action or
judgment is missing from the sentence.
Map of reality – A person’s perception of reality.
Mask – See perceptual filter.
Meta-model – A model of language patterns that focuses attention on words people use
to delete, distort, generalize, limit or specify their realities and also provides a series of
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outcome specification questions useful for recovering lost or unspecified information and
or loosening rigid patterns of thinking.
Metaphor – Usually a story, parable or analogy that relates one situation, experience or
phenomenon to another.
Meta-outcome – The outcome that is more general than the stated one; e.g. getting my
self-respect back is the meta-outcome in “Killing that person will get my self-respect
back.” It is the “chunked up” outcome, so that killing that person becomes only one
member of a class of behaviors that can be used to recover self-respect.
Meta-person – Being in third positions.
Milton model – A categorization of language patterns useful for delivering a message in
such a way that the person readily accepts it.
Mirroring – Approximately matching one’s behavior to that of another person.
Modal operators – A linguistic term for the way one judges or evaluates actions; e.g.
choice, possibility, impossibility, desire, necessity.
Modality – One of the five senses.
Modeling – Observing and specifying how something happens or how someone thinks or
behaves, and then demonstrating the process for others.
Negative command – A command that is marked out with analogs although it is
grammatically stated in the negative; e.g. “Wouldn’t that be a good idea!”
Nest – To fit one thing (outcome, story, etc.) within another.
Nominalization – A linguistic term for the words which result from the process of taking
actions (verbs) and converting them into things (nouns) which actually have no existence
as things; e.g. you can’t put them in a wheelbarrow. Examples of nominalizations are
“love”, “freedom”, “happiness”, “respect”, “frustration”, etc.. See complex equivalent.
Olfactory – Referring to the sense of smell.
Organ language – Words that refer to specific body parts or activities; e.g. “Get off my
back,” “pain in the rear,” etc..
Outcome – Desired goal or result.
Pacing – Matching or mirroring another person’s verbal and/or non-verbal behavior.
Useful for gaining short-term rapport.
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Parts – Metaphoric representations of different facets of a person’s strategies, programs,
“Personality” or ego states; e.g. the “parts” that want you to be safe, independent, in
control, loved, respected, spiritual, etc.. To be distinguished from the specific behaviors
adopted by the “parts” to get their positive outcomes.
Perceptual filter – An attitude, point of view, perspective or set of presuppositions about
the object, person or situation. Also called a “mask.”
Polarity response – A response which reverses, negates or takes the opposite position
from the previous statement.
Predicates – Process words or words that express action or relationship with respect to a
subject (verbs, adverbs and adjectives). The words may reflect the representational
system being used or they may be non-specific; e.g. “That looks good”, “Sounds right to
me”, “that feels fine” or “I agree”.
Preferred representational system- The representational system which a person
habitually uses to process information or experiences; usually the one in which the person
can make the finest distinctions.
Process words – See predicates.
Quotes – A method of expressing the desired message in quotations as if someone else
said it.
Rapport – A condition in which trust, understanding, harmony and cooperation has been
established.
Reframing – A process by which a person’s perception of a specific behavior is altered.
Usually subdivided into context, meaning and six-step reframing.
Remedial Intervention – An intervention that only solves the presenting problem.
Representational systems – Referring to the five sense of seeing (visual), hearing
(auditory), feeling (kinesthetic), tasting (gustatory) and smelling (olfactory).
Resource state – The experience of an ability, attitude, behavior, characteristic,
perspective or quality that is useful.
Second position – Experiencing the world from the perspective of another person.
Secondary gain – The positive or desired result (often hidden) of a seemingly undesired
or problem behavior.
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Sensory acuity – The ability to use the senses to make distinctions between different bits
of incoming information.
Sensory based – Information which is correlated with what has been received by the five
senses (as opposed to “Hallucinations”).
Separator state – See break state.
Shift referential index – To take the perspective of someone else but to keep your own
criteria.
Six-step reframe – A process in which an undesirable behavior is metaphorically
separated from the desired outcome of the “part” so that the “part” can more easily adopt
new behaviors that satisfy its positive intention and do not have the undesirable effects of
the original behavior.
Sorting polarities – Separating tendencies or “parts” that pull a person in opposite
directions.
Stacking anchors – Using the same anchor for a number of resources.
State – A state of being or a condition of body/mind or an experience at a particular
moment.
Stealing an anchor – Identifying an anchored sequence (stimulus-response) and then
firing that anchor.
Stimulus-response – The repeated association between an experience and a particular
response; e.g. Pavlovian conditioning.
Strategy – A sequence of mental and behavioral steps which leads to a specific outcome;
e.g. decision, learning, motivation, specific skills.
Submodalities – The subdivisions of the processing of the representational systems; e.g.
visual information can be divided in black and white, color, 2-D, 3-D, bright, dim, clear,
fuzzy, moving, still, large, small, etc.
Switch referential index – To take the perspective and the criteria of someone else.
Synthesia – An overlap between representational systems such as “see/feel” (feelings
overlap with what is seen) or “hear/feel” (feelings overlap with what is heard).
Tag questions – Negative questions tagged onto the end of a sentence in order to diffuse
polarity responses; e.g. “Don’t you?”, “Can’t you?”, ”Aren’t you?”, etc..
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Tape editing – A process of reviewing past behavior and then future pacing in order to alter
future responses in similar situations.
Third position – Experiencing the world from a distant position, outside all the persons
in the interaction (as an “Observer”, “Fair Witness”, “Guardian Angel”, etc.)
Transderivational search – The process of searching back through one’s memories to find a
reference experience.
Translating – The process of rephrasing words from one representational system into
another.
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APPENDIX IV: Dave Elman Induction
Now take a long deep breath and hold it for a few seconds. As you exhale this breath, allow
your eyes to close and let go of the surface tension in your body. Just let your body relax as much
as possible right now.
Now, place your awareness on your eye muscles and relax the muscles around your eyes to the
point they just won’t work. When you’re sure they’re so relaxed that as long as you hold on to
this relaxation, they just won’t work, hold on to that relaxation and test them to make sure THEY
WON’T WORK.
Now, this relaxation you have in your eyes is the same quality of relaxation that I want you to
have throughout your whole body. So, just let this quality of relaxation flow through your whole
body from the top of your head, to the tips of your toes.
Now, we can deepen this relaxation much more. In a moment, I’m going to have you open
and close your eyes. When you close your eyes, that’s your signal to let this feeling of relaxation
become 10 times deeper. All you have to do is want it to happen and you can make it happen
very easily. Ok, now, open your eyes…now close your eyes and feel that relaxation flowing
through your entire body, taking you much deeper. Use your wonderful imagination and imagine
your whole body is covered and wrapped in a warm blanket of relaxation.
Now, we can deepen this relaxation much more. In a moment, I’m going to have you open
and close your eyes one more time. Again, when you close your eyes, double the relaxation you
now have. Make it become twice as deep. Ok, now once more, open your eyes…close your eyes
and double your relaxation…good. Let every muscle in your body become so relaxed that as long
as you hold on to this quality of relaxation, every muscle of your body will not work.
In a moment, I’m going to have you open and close your eyes one more time. Again, when
you close your eyes, double the relaxation you now have. Make it become twice as deep. Ok,
now, once more, open your eyes…close your eyes and double your relaxation…good. Let every
muscle in your body become so relaxed that as long as you hold on to this quality of relaxation,
every muscle of your body will not work.
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In a moment, I’m going to lift your (right or left) hand by the wrist, just a few inches, and drop
it. If you have followed my instructions up to this point that hand will be so relaxed it will be just
as loose and limp as a wet dish cloth and will simply plop down. Now don’t try to help me, you
have to remove relaxation. Let me do all the lifting so that when I release it, it just plops down
and you’ll allow yourself to go much deeper.
(If the subject helps to lift the hand, say,) “No, no let me do all the lifting. Don’t help me. Let
it be heavy. Don’t help me. You’ll feel it when you have it.
Now that’s complete physical relaxation. I want you to know that there are two ways a person
can relax. You can relax physically and you can relax mentally. You already proved that you can
relax physically, now let me show you how to relax mentally. In a moment I’ll ask you to begin
slowly counting backwards, out loud, from 100. Now, here’s the secret to mental relaxation.
With each number you say, double your mental relaxation. With each number you say, let your
mind become twice as relaxed. Now if you do this, by the time you reach the number 98, or
maybe even sooner, your mind will have become so relaxed, you will have actually relaxed all the
rest of the numbers that would have come after 98, right out of your mind. There just won’t be
any more numbers. Now you have to do this. I can’t do it for you. Those numbers will leave if
you will them away. Now start with the idea that you will make that happen and you can easily
dispel them from your mind.
Hypnotist: Now, say the first number, 100, and double your mental relaxation.
Client: 100
Hypnotist: Now double that mental relaxation. Let those numbers already start to fade.
Client: 99
Hypnotist: Double your mental relaxation. Start to make those numbers leave. They’ll
go if you will them away.
Client: 98
Hypnotist: Now, they’ll be gone. Dispel them. Banish them. Make it happen. You
can do it. I can’t do it for you. Push them out. Make it happen! ARE THEY
ALL GONE?
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APPENDIX V: Reframing for Change!
Reframing can be one of the most powerful tools that you have to open up new levels of
communication, or it can make you seem like a pushy manipulator who uses word games
to swindle people. One of the bad raps about NLP comes from misuse of reframing.
So what is reframing? It is a way to use language to reset in someone’s mind an event,
belief, or feeling. To see, hear, or feel differently about it. Changing the frame of
reference is called reframing in NLP. The purpose of reframing is to help a person
experience their actions, the impact of their beliefs, behaviors, and feelings from a
different perspective (frame) and potentially be more resourceful or have more choice in
how they react.
An event, belief, feeling, has no meaning on its own. It just is. People give it meaning
according to their beliefs, values, preoccupations, like and dislikes.
During the 1984 campaign, there was considerable concern about Ronald Reagan’s age.
Speaking during the presidential debate with Walter Mondale, Reagan said “I will not
make age an issue of this campaign. I am not going to exploit, for political purposes, my
opponent’s youth and inexperience.” Reagan’s age was not an issue for the remainder of
the campaign!
Reframing is changing the way you perceive an event and so changing the meaning.
When the meaning changes, the response and behavior changes, also.
There are 5 things you must know to have reframing be effective, and these are often over
looked by NLP people, because they focus too much on the technique and being slick,
and not enough on the “Big Five”.
1. RAPPORT, you must be in Rapport or your reframe will come across as
interfering and pushy.
2. Understanding of how the techniques work, not just theory, but understanding on
a deeper level of what is happening in your targets mind.
3. Correct information, a reframe before you have all the information leads to
technique interrupts, which well it make you look impudent.
4. Permission to offer it
5. Reframes are natural if done right.
Then and only then will reframe do what it is suppose to do. Now here is the big secret
of reframing. It is not a complete technique by itself! That’s right, I said it. It will, not in
and of itself, do a complete change in someone. (I do not believe stories where a one line
reframe totally shifted a person.)
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Reframe techniques are only meant to “open the doorway” to a person mind. It gives a
glimpse of other possibilities, and you can use this momentary opening, with your rapport
skills and correct information, to lead them in another direction.
In other words, the meaning of an experience is dependent on the context, or on the
content.
One of the great reframes of all times comes from Thomas Edison, and it is still used to
this day to reframe the idea of failure. When it was pointed out that it took 1000 (or
10,000 according to which story one hears) attempts to successfully get the electric light
bulb to work, a reporter asked him how he felt about the 1000 failures. Edison replied,
“We did not fail, we found 1000 ways that did not work.”
Of course, in NLP and hypnosis we often quote Milton Erickson, when asked about his
failures with clients, he reframed it as “There is no failure, only feedback. Always be
willing to try something else.”
Then, there is a story about the first President of IBM. A young worker had made a
mistake that lost IBM $1 million in business. She was called in to the President’s office
and as she walked in said, “Well, I guess you have called me here to fire me.” “Fire you?”
the president replied, “Why would I fire you? I just spent $1 M on your education! That
is an MBA in real world experience.”
There are two types of reframing:
Context Reframing
Almost all behaviors are useful in some context. A context reframe can be used to see
that the behavior itself can be useful. In what context would this behavior have value?
Content Reframing
The meaning or content of any situation is determined by what you choose to focus on
this will give its meaning to you. By reframing that, it changes its meaning.
What else could this mean? What is the positive value in this behavior? The positive
value could be related to the targets behavior (as above) or it could be related to your
targets s behavior. A possible reframe might be: “Isn’t it great that you know your
boundaries and are not prepared to allow someone to violate them?”
Reframing is going on all around us. Politicians are masters at reframing. The whole idea
of a positive spin is reframing. Listen to a conservative talk show, then switch to a liberal
(if you can find one) and listen to the same story.
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APPENDIX VI: NFNLP Activity Summary
Page
Title
Concepts
22-24 Sensory
Perceptual
Strategies
25
States of
Excellence
Mirroring, Matching, Meta
Model Submodalities
Client Interview job interview
Establishing self-confidence
or future excellence
Future sports or job performance
Mirroring, Matching, Meta
Model Sumodalities
Client Interview, job interview
28
Information
Gathering
33
Anchoring and
Using a new resource with a
Adding a Resource problem
34
Chaining Anchors
Breaking connection
between event and emotions
34
Behavior Transfer
Substitute different resource
or behavior
35
Changing
Personal History
Re-parenting
Reframe old memory
Eliminating Fears
and Phobias
Broken
Heart/Love Eraser
New Behavior
Generator
Visual Squash
with Regression
Swish
Neutralize negative feelings
of phobias, trauma
Neutralize negative feelings
of excessive love
Using all senses to imagine
self in desired action
Integrating internal conflicts
within client
Change unwanted behaviors
or feelings
36
39
41
49
44
52
56
Reframe old memory
Godiva Chocolate
Pattern
60
Building
self-confidence
62
Developing
Self-Appreciation
96-97 Reframing
Examples (add your own)
Establish desire to
accomplish an action
Enables client to stay
resourceful when criticized
Claim feeling of one who
loves you as your own
Reframing subconscious
response
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Defusing anger, Getting out of
“reaction” mode and into “proactive”
mode
Breaking procrastination or reluctance
to act because of associating action
with “bad” event in past
Defusing anger, Getting out of
“reaction” mode and into “proactive”
mode
Eliminating feelings of shame, guilt,
etc.
Eliminating feelings of shame, guilt,
disappointment, etc.
Fears of heights, water, dark places,
insects, etc.
Broken hearts
Sports achievement or improvement
Generate motivation, eliminate
procrastination
Fingernail biting, cigarette smoking,
shyness, -- any compulsion or
addiction
Doing paperwork, taxes, routine
housework, etc.
Job performance, sports development,
schoolwork
Self Esteem, depression
Developing new behaviors for any
situation
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Basic Practitioner Requirements
For Certification
Date: ________________________
Name: __________________________________________________________________
Address: ______________________________________________________________________
City, State, Zip: __________________________________________________________
Telephone: _________________________________ Email: ____________________________
N.L.P. Exam – Part I
1. What is N.L.P.? _______________________________________________________
2. In its simplistic terms N.L.P. is a
___________________________________________
3. The ____________________ ____________________ is a good tool for Addictions
Counselors as it settles internal conflicts.
4. Outline the basic steps of Visual Squash.
5. Define a Swish Pattern.
6. Eye movements upward represent a ____________________ person.
7. The Meta Model is an example of ____________________ __________________.
8. Giving new meaning to a behavior is a type of ______________________________.
9. A way of going back and helping a person perceive how they view their past can be
done using __________________________________________________________.
10. States of Excellence, or a Circle of Excellence, are good to use when ____________
NFNLP Basic Practitioner - 108
___________________________________________________________________.
11.
The _________ ___________ ___________ can give people new behaviors.
12.
What is Rapport?
_____________________________________________________
13.
__________________is a basic way to maintain Rapport.
14.
Placing a person in a future situation is called
_______________________________.
15.
N.L.P. can be used
____________________________________________________.
16.
Give an example of Anchoring.
__________________________________________.
17.
What is Reframing?
___________________________________________________
18.
How would one Re-write History?
________________________________________
19.
What is the one question you do not use in N.L.P.?
___________________________
20.
Outline a Fast Phobia Technique.
21.
Outline Re-parenting.
22.
List the Presuppositions of N.L.P.
NFNLP Basic Practitioner - 109
23.
Who are the Founders of N.L.P.?
________________________________________
24.
List the Frames of N.L.P.
25. Draw the Eye Accessing Cues.
N.L.P. Exam – Part II
1. Describe how you would use rapport techniques in a professional setting (therapy,
sales, etc.) and then how you would use them in a social setting.
2. Write up an example of information gathering in both professional and interpersonal
settings.
3. How would you use NLP to personally improve your own life?
4. Pick two topics and describe how you would use NLP to treat:
a) an addiction (i.e. smoking, alcohol, sex, food)
b) sports enhancement
c) interfamily communication problems
d) public speaking fear/phobia (i.e. fear of being in front of people, lack of confidence
due to speaking with an accent, etc.)
NFNLP Basic Practitioner - 110
e) road rage
f) working with children/youth
5. Write up a case study. Describe the condition and treatment techniques.
Mail/Email or Fax to:
National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming
1532 US 41 By-Pass S., # 287
Venice, FL 34293-1032
(941) 408-8551 Fax (941) 408-8552
http://www.nfnlp.com Email: nfnlp@nfnlp.com
NFNLP Basic Practitioner - 111