Title: How to set personal boundaries Knowing how to set boundaries is one of the most essential yet overlooked social skills. Boundaries are rooted in clear communication. As Brene Brown says, "Clear is kind; unclear is unkind." The more precisely you can express your boundaries, the more likely they will be respected. While you may need to repeat yourself a few times, don’t feel the need to apologize or explain your boundaries. Setting boundaries is important for several reasons. The first and most basic reason is as a control to protect ourselves from the influence of people around us, so that other people don't touch things we don't want them to touch, because only we can determine who we are, what we like and don't like, and what we want to do. Setting boundaries clarifies and confirms to others that they are not to be crossed. We also feel calm and safe when the other person understands the boundaries we set, and when we also understand the other person's boundaries, healthy relationships are created. The boundaries we make for ourselves are also a form of loving ourselves so that we don't get hurt because of the behavior of people who want to because they don't know the limits we have. Therefore, seeing the importance of setting boundaries, this essay will elaborate on how to set personal boundaries. The three solutions that can be given are: Increase your self-awareness, don't be afraid to say "No", and communicate your boundaries clearly. The first way to set personal boundaries is to increase self-awareness. Self-awareness is a way that we can apply to ourselves to better understand and be sensitive to ourselves, such as the things we want, what we like and don't like, and also the impact of things that come into our lives. We can rethink and analyze the things we have been through and determine to what extent other people can get into those things that are personal to us. Because we are the only ones who understand how we feel. Therefore, it is very important for us to care more about ourselves and understand ourselves better in terms of nature, feelings, or thoughts. Another way to improve self-awareness through reflection is by writing in a journal. Make a list of your strengths and weaknesses. Once you’ve identified those, you can use your journal to set intentions to build upon your strengths and improve your weaknesses. Many people only begin looking for the answer to the question "What is selfawareness?" when things go wrong or we encounter challenges. But the truth is that self-awareness is a habit, not a one-time goal. We are growing and changing every day, and our self-awareness must change as well. We must also realize that self-awareness is a habit, not a one-time goal, so our selfawareness must change. Journaling is also important. Through journaling, we can find out what our strengths and weaknesses are. We can identify our weaknesses and then fix them. In conclusion, through increased self-awareness, we can know our personal boundaries. In addition, increasing self- awareness is very important for us to understand and be sensitive to ourselves. The way to increase self-awareness is to make self-awareness itself a habit. Journaling can also increase self-awareness by identifying weaknesses and improving them. The second way to set personal boundaries is by not being afraid to say "no." "No" is a powerful word. It sounds strikingly similar in dozens of languages and can be recognized by simple gestures or facial expressions. Nonetheless, many people today have been programmed to feel guilty for saying "no." In reality, to say "no" is to draw a line in the sand. It is an expression of courage, self-love, and sovereignty over your daily decisions. People who are usually afraid to say "no" often end up with an overflowing plate of duties and responsibilities that they can’t seem to keep up with. They often neglect self-care in order to meet the demands of everyone and everything they said "yes" to. Saying anything can affect our lives. We must always be careful with what we say. Each "yes" or "no" shapes your reality. The word "no" is essential for healthy boundaries. Saying "no" doesn’t have to be rude, but it also doesn’t require an apology or an explanation. Notice where in your life you say "I’m sorry, I can’t" or "maybe, let me get back to you" when you just mean "no." Pay attention to how you can shift these simple conversations to more clearly draw a boundary instead of leaving another person waiting for a clear answer. The clarity of your communication will ultimately benefit all parties involved. In the end, saying "no" benefits not only us but all parties. All parties will be relieved by our openness and capacity at that time. In sum, saying "no" does not mean a mistake, but rather clarity of communication that will ultimately benefit all parties involved. It is also an expression of courage, self-love, and sovereignty over our decisions. Everything we decide also shapes our reality. We have the power to choose how we spend our time and energy. The third way to set personal boundaries is to communicate your boundaries clearly. One of the biggest mistakes people make is setting boundaries in their minds but not openly sharing them with the people in their life. Sometimes people assume that you should know their boundaries. But if they don’t clearly communicate where they’ve drawn the line, how will you know when you’ve overstepped it? This can seem daunting and scary, but it can feel like a significant relief once you get it out of the way. Once you know your boundaries, you have to communicate them. First, we have to find out what our limits are; after knowing that, we can then communicate. The people around us won't know our limits if we don't tell them. So we have to communicate our limits openly. This can seem daunting and intimidating, but it can be a huge relief once you get over it. Fortunately, once someone is aware of our boundaries, most people will respect them and apologize if they accidentally cross the line. Without clear communication, the lines become blurred. We can quickly find ourselves crossing into the more dangerous territory of getting burned out, taken advantage of, or even neglecting our own needs. The more precisely and directly you can communicate your boundaries, the easier it will be to uphold them. Boundaries are like the "rules" of a relationship. It is much easier to respect them when they are displayed for all parties involved. People who are aware of their limits will be equally relieved and respect each other. This is the benefit of clearly communicating boundaries. Of course, we communicated in a good way. We must be honest, polite, clear, firm, and unobtrusive in setting limits on ourselves. Also, most importantly, don't be afraid to reject something that you think crosses our boundaries. In sum, by clearly communicating the boundaries, all parties will benefit from mutual respect. Of course, we communicated in a good way—honestly, politely, clearly, firmly, and without being long-winded in conveying our boundaries to ourselves. This will be a relief in the end because we will feel calm and safe in our surroundings. In conclusion, setting boundaries comes down to communication. Communicating our needs and desires is the most vital step toward defining our limitations and living a more liberated existence. Setting boundaries clarifies and confirms to others that they are not to be crossed. We also feel calm and safe when other people understand the boundaries we set and when we also understand the limits of that person. References: Gita Savitri Devi. (2020, June 25). Pentingnya Memiliki Batasan | Beropini eps. 58 [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H68H_oF-kEg Hailey, L. (2022, May 11). How to Set Boundaries: 5 Ways to Draw the Line Politely. Science of People. https://www.scienceofpeople.com/how-to-set-boundaries/ ROBBINS RESEARCH INTERNATIONAL, INC. (2021, March 24). What is self-awareness, and how to improve it. tonyrobbins.com. https://www.tonyrobbins.com/personal-growth/selfawareness/ Setting Boundaries: Melindungi Diri Kita Sendiri dengan Batasan – Majalah Sunday. (2020, October 25). https://majalahsunday.com/setting-boundaries-melindungi-diri-kita-sendiri-denganbatasan/ Spector, N. (2019, November 6). What is self-awareness? And how can you cultivate it? NBC News. https://www.nbcnews.com/better/lifestyle/what-self-awareness-how-can-you-cultivate-itncna1067721
