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Pastoral Psychology, Vol. 50, No. 4, March 2002 (°
Religious Addiction: Obsession with Spirituality
Cheryl Zerbe Taylor1
Religious addiction is a disease only recently recognized; however, it has been
with humanity throughout the ages. This obsession with spirituality not only has
harmful effects for the individual but also a devastating effect on his/her family. As
with any addiction, recovery is possible. This article covers the history of religious
addiction, its symptoms and characteristics, and also its downward spiral. The
effects on the addict, the codependent spouse, and children are discussed. Recovery,
including intervention and treatment, is also covered.
KEY WORDS: addiction; spirituality; religion.
On a warm, spring evening, a family gathers in the living room, rosaries in
hand. The windows are open, although the blinds remain drawn. The sound of
children happily playing drift in from outside. The scent of votive candles fills the
darkened room. The father solemnly begins the family rosary with the Apostles’
Creed and moves into the first of several Our Fathers. The rest of the family sit
around the room, fingering their beads, and wait for their turn to recite the required
prayers. Time seems to slow down. The younger children begin to fidget and
squirm. Reminders of family prayer time interrupt the steady stream of Hail Marys.
Suddenly, one of the children whines about wanting to play outside. That child is
quickly reprimanded and hushed. The rosary continues even though the children are
still fidgeting and moving around. The father becomes more and more aggravated as
what he deems misbehavior takes place with greater frequency. Whenever someone
accidentally says the wrong half of the prayer at the inappropriate time, sharp angry
looks flash. Finally, his temper reaches a breaking point, groundings are handed out,
and quite often, one or more of the children receive a spanking. The punished child
dissolves into tears, while the others quietly wish the family rosary would finish
quickly so they can escape until the next night when the entire cycle repeats itself.
1 Cheryl Zerbe Taylor is a graduate from Rose State College in Midwest City, Oklahoma, and is currently
attending Christopher Newport University in Virginia. She is also the mother of six children. Address
correspondence to Cheryl Zerbe Taylor; e-mail: cheryl z taylor@yahoo.com.
291
C 2002 Human Sciences Press, Inc.
0031-2789/02/0300-0291/0 °
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This may sound like a scene reminiscent of the novel Gone with the Wind
or from the latest movie out of Hollywood, but it is an actual event from my life.
However, it is not just my story; it is a fact of life for thousands of people. What
appears to be “religious fanaticism by outside observers, or even true mystical piety
by some sympathetic insiders” (Doyle, personal communication, February 20,
2000), is actually a behavioral disorder, which up to only a few years ago was
overlooked and also undefined. This disorder knows no gender, age, or creed
(Doyle, 2000) and can destroy lives just as substance addictions do.
Religious addiction is the name given to this disorder, and it shares a number
of characteristics with other addictions, both behavioral and substance. By its very
nature, religious addiction, as with other addictions, allows the addict to escape
from painful realities and/or feelings (M. Linn, S. Linn, & D. Linn, 1994). However, by using religion as a means for this escape, the addict develops an unhealthy
religiosity. Because of such a rigid belief system, abuse of family members almost always takes place on a regular basis (Booth, 1991). Consequently, religious
addiction can be just as devastating and damaging as drug abuse and alcoholism.
However, recovery is entirely possible.
The concept of addiction has existed for over two hundred years. Benjamin
Rush, often called the American father of psychiatry, is considered the first
American authority on alcoholism. He published a pamphlet entitled An Enquiry
into the Effects of Spirituous Liquors Upon the Human Body, and Their Influence
Upon the Happiness of Society in 1784. This pamphlet is quite remarkable because
alcoholism was not considered a disease until the 1870s (White, 1998).
As for drug dependence, the idea of addiction and treatment came along one
hundred years later. In 1878, Dr. W. H. Bentley of Valley Oak, Kentucky, advocated the use of cocaine in the treatment of morphine addiction. This seemed
to have positive results. However, in 1887, Sigmund Freud noted the morphine
addict was at risk of becoming addicted to cocaine. In his work, Remarks on
Craving for and Fear of Cocaine, Freud writes, “The patients began to get hold of
the drug themselves and become addicted to it as they had been to morphine . . .
Cocaine used in this way is far more dangerous to health than morphine”
(White, 1998).
The awareness of behavioral addiction and obsession is more difficult to
place on a timeline. Evidence suggests that the early Egyptians wrote about such
behavioral disorders as early as 1500 BC. The first authentic cases are that of
Saul, David, and Nebuchadnezzar in the Old Testament (Batchelor, 1969). In the
1860s, psychiatric observations began, but it was not until the early twentieth
century that a deeper understanding of behavioral addictions and obsessions came
about. In 1917, Sigmund Freud wrote on obsessions, stating that a patient “can
displace his sense of compulsion but he cannot dispel it” (Artieti & Brody, 1974,
p. 196). He cited several tendencies toward behavioral addiction, which included
indecisiveness and lack of energy. The patient tended to be highly opinionated,
above average in intellect, and overconscientious (Artieti & Brody, 1974).
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Even with its long history, addiction has been difficult to define. People now
easily toss the word “addiction” into their everyday language, often claiming they
are addicted to everything from football to chocolate. What was needed was a
sound definition of addiction and dependency. The word addict comes from the
Latin addicere, meaning to assign or surrender (Hattererer, 1980). The American
Psychiatric Association defines addiction as a “continued substance use despite
knowledge of having a persistent or recurrent social, psychological, or physical
problem that is caused by . . . the use of the substance” (American Psychiatric
Association [APA], 1989, p. 1064). In their book, Toxic Faith: Understanding and
Overcoming Religious Addiction, Stephen Arterburn and Jack Felton (1991) further
describe addiction and dependence as occurring when a person would sacrifice
everything, family, job, sanity, etc., for the sake of a substance, relationship, or
behavior.
Both behavioral and substance addiction have several characteristics. A pattern of pathological use would be one such characteristic. The symptoms include
a daily need for the substance and an inability to stop. Despite the risks to his/her
health, the addict continues to use the substance or perform the rituals required
for the addiction. The addict starts to show a decrease in social and work responsibilities. Inappropriate behavior and feelings, such as aggression are noticeable,
as well as a failure to meet family and friend obligations (APA, 1981). A distorted
perception of time is another characteristic of addiction. The addict denies the
scope of his/her disorder and invariably cannot account for the amount of time
spent on the addictive behavior (Hatterer, 1980). The World Health Organization
also lists these characteristics: an overwhelming desire or need, a tendency to increase the dose, and a psychological and sometimes physical dependence (Synder,
1980; Batchelor, 1969).
Family background always stands out in an addict’s life. Dr. Laurence J.
Hatterer, an associate clinical professor of psychiatry at Cornell University Medical
School states:
Every addictive adult I have treated has told either of excesses of inconsistencies or of deprivation or overindulgence in early life . . . Frequently found in family backgrounds of those
prone to addictiveness are marked swings from unrealistic praise to destructive hypercritical
behavior. (Hatterer, 1980, p. 18–19)
Substance—or chemical—addictions, and behavioral—sometimes called
process—addictions have many distinct properties. For example, substance addictions deal with the biochemistry makeup of an individual. Scientists have learned in
recent years that dopamine, a neurotransmitter found in the brain, plays a major role
in substance dependence and addictions. Alcohol and other drugs cause one of the
three following reactions: stimulation and an increase in the release of dopamine,
attachment to dopamine receptors, or alteration in the way the dopamine receptors
react. The effect is the same: the dopamine increases the stimulation of the neuron
reward channel. Thus, feelings of arousal, reward, and satisfaction are much greater
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(Substance Dependence, Social Issues Resources Series, [SIRS], 1999). Each time
a substance is used, these channels become more deeply ingrained, thereby paving
a way for memories of experience and linking desires with expectations. People
become addicted because they tend to repeat any action that produces pleasure
(Addiction and the Brain-Part I, Art. 72, SIRS, 1999).
On the other hand, behavioral/process addictions deal with the mind rather
than the physical brain. These addictions consist of “repetitive and compulsive
actions . . . performed intentionally but not necessarily voluntarily” (Eick, Art. 76,
SIRS, 1999). The compulsive behavior is designed to prevent harm and reduce
anxiety (Swinson, R.P., Antony, M. M., Rachman, S., & Richter, M. A. eds., 1998).
The most common behavioral addictions include sex, gambling, computers, and
work (Eick, 1999).
Behavioral and substance addictions have a number of factors in common.
Every addiction begins with an underlying dread. Each addict turns to his/her
own “substance” in an attempt to avoid emotional pain (Weinberg, 1993). Science
is discovering a link between genetic predisposition and addiction. Clinical experience and neuroscientific findings show an underlying disease process for all
chemical and process addiction (Eick, 1999). An addict “experiences increasing
powerlessness at the hands of the substance” (Doyle, 2000). And finally, according to the Harvard Mental Health Letter, the potential for addiction does depend
on economic conditions, social situations, and cultural traditions, as well as other
factors (Addictions and the Brain-Part II, Art. 72, SIRS, 1999).
Addictions, in one variation or another, have long been a part of history.
Some have been recognized since the beginning of civilization; others only in more
recent times. Religious addiction has existed ever since people wondered about the
existence of God. However, it was recognized only ten or so years ago by Father
Leo Booth, an Episcopalian priest. Through events in his own life, alcoholism
and recovery, he realized the devastating and damaging effects of dysfunctional
religious beliefs. Religious addiction does exist, and it can be treated, and a full
recovery can take place (Booth, 1991).
Fr. Tom Doyle, a U.S. Air Force chaplain and a specialist on addictions,
defines addiction to religion as:
An obsession with one or many aspects of religious practice to the extent that the religion
or religious practice increasingly controls the emotions, intellect, behavior, value formation
and relationships in such a compulsive way that the person experiences diminishing control
over his reaction to religion . . . Religious addiction develops gradually. It reaches a point
where it becomes irrational and compulsive. One of the sure signs of addiction . . . is the
fact that the addiction gradually has a negative impact on the person’s family, friends,
relationships. The person becomes obsessed and single-minded. The religiosity is negative
and depressing. (T. Doyle, personal communication, February 20, 2000)
Religious addiction does not allow people to think for themselves. This unhealthy
belief system forbids questioning any beliefs or practices (Booth, 1991). In short,
religious addiction destroys.
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It must be kept in mind that there is a fundamental difference between religion and spirituality. Religion is an organized belief system that consists of human
rules about God. It offers an orientation to an individual and an object of devotion.
Spirituality, on the other hand, is the process of becoming a well-rounded person.
It gives people the ability to discover their own uniqueness (Booth, 1991). Spirituality allows for a complete and personal relationship with God. William Barclay
eloquently explains the difference between religion and spirituality:
The real test of religion is, does it make wings to lift a man up or a dead weight to drag
him down? Is a man helped by his religion or is he haunted by it? Does it carry him or does
he carry it? . . . The Pharisees believed that to do God’s will was to observe their thousands
of pithy rules and regulations and nothing could be further from the kingdom of God,
his basic idea, his love. (Blue, 1993, p. 86)
Religious addiction is built on absolute, unquestioning, uncritical acceptance
of teachings. For religious addiction to take place, certain key ingredients must be
in place. These ingredients are fear and shame, which are manipulated by power
and control. Twisting doctrines and scriptures can be one way of creating confusion
and gaining control (Booth, 1991).
Religious addicts share many of the same characteristics. Addicts often have
rigid parents. A child growing up in a strict environment enters adulthood still
looking for rigidity. This may be because he/she has a hidden desire to fix the
problem, or because that this life is the only one they know. Most addicts suffer from a deep, painful wound from a major disappointment. It might be their
parents’ divorce, or something from their own lives. Therefore, addicts look for
acceptance from a group without any risk. In this way, they receive relief from
that pain of disappointment. Another characteristic of religious addicts is low selfesteem. Because of their low self-worth, they want to belong and to be accepted by
something, anything that will stop the feelings of isolation and loneliness. Oftentimes, this feeling of acceptance is found in religious groups. Victims of sexual,
physical, or emotional abuse can also become addicted to religion. These victims
often feel detached and unloved. The abuse that they received earlier leads to further victimization because they are looking for a “savior” and end up replacing
God with a human being (Arterburn & Felton, 1991). Catholic religious addicts
are “enamored with the institutional church, cardinal, pope. They believe that any
and all pronouncements are God’s last word and tend to be very conservative,
paranoid, and defensive” (Doyle, 2000).
Religious addiction is not only confined to just Christianity; it can occur in any
religion. Religious addiction also takes on many different forms and variations.
One such variation manifests itself in compulsive religious activity. The addict
is driven by guilt to earn God’s favor. In actuality, he/she is running away from
pain and finding solace in doing work for the church. Laziness is a common
variation of religious addiction. Here addicts dump full responsibility of their life
on God rather than taking matters into their own hands. Their attitude is “God will
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fix it” whenever presented with a crisis or problem, such as marital difficulties.
Another way an individual may display an addiction to religion is by self-obsessing.
They are so focused on their own need, wants, and desires, that they have no
room left for true worship of God and helping others. Manufacturing a spiritual
frenzy is yet another common form of addiction to religion. The addict actually
experiences an adrenaline rush from a “mountaintop experience” or “religious
high.” This rush energizes and stimulates the addict while altering his/her mood
and relieving the real emotional pain. The religious addict may also show an
extreme intolerance to varying opinions and/or other faith groups. They are so
intolerant that they would rather reject others than accept any different belief or
conviction (Arterburn & Felton, 1991). Finally, a religious addict will not take into
consideration extenuating circumstances. There can be times, due to a variety of
reasons, religious rules and laws are broken. The religious addict cannot see the
reasons, and the offending individual—oftentimes a family member—is punished.
The cold, impersonal addict is always right, no matter what (Blue, 1993).
Critics of religious addiction may say that these forms and variations are
extremely unlikely in today’s world, and are more akin to medieval times. But
Father Leo Booth quotes one woman in his 1998 book, The God Game: It’s Your
Move. She writes:
I learned early that I became acceptable when I became religious. To be religious meant
being perfect, and that meant everybody around me had to be perfect, too, so I raised
my children in what I now know was a religiously abusive home-rigid and unforgiving of
mistakes. I became judgmental and critical. I never felt that God loved me—that there was
anything special or precious in me for God to love.” (Booth, 1998, p. 92)
The causes of religious addiction are many and varied. One such cause of
addiction is Church authority and its doctrines. In the fourth century, scriptures
were no longer regarded as the authority; bishops were seen as Christ’s vessels
(Booth, 1991).
The sacred synod teaches and declares that Jesus Christ, the eternal pastor, set up the holy
church by entrusting the apostles with their mission . . . He willed that their successors the
bishops namely, should be shepherds in his church until the end of the world. (Dogmatic
Constitution on the Church, Vatican II)
Pope John Paul II pronounced that the ministry performed by bishops “is of divine
origins” and declared that compliance to the magisterium, or teaching the authority
of the Catholic Church, “is an act of the will as well as the mind” in the context
of church teaching. Dissent, a sign of disloyalty, is “unacceptable” (Crosby, 1991,
p. 77). This magisterium, which created dogma and doctrine, was able to keep its
followers in submission by making them fearful of error. This is the foundation of
religious addiction since religious addicts equate error with sin (Booth, 1991).
Guilt is another powerful cause of religious addiction. Christians have long
struggled with the concept of a loving and forgiving God. Because of the concept of
original sin, people believe that they are born evil or bad. They believe that if they
just follow the rules, God will love them again (Booth, 1991). This shame-based
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motivation to a religious standard is magnified by a particular sin, real or imagined.
“For the person who is fundamentally shame-based, the conscience is an open
wound that does not heal” (Blue, 1993, p. 128). As a result, those who suffer from
continuous guilt try to relieve it by performing religious works (Blue).
It is not only guilt and shamed-based motivation that can lead to religious
addiction. All religions, especially those emphasizing sacraments, recognize the
need for ritual. Ritual allows for a greater capacity for experiencing spirituality.
However, the use of ritual can lead to addiction and also abuse. Maggie Scott Irwin,
director of Family Services at the Meadows Treatment Center in Wickenburg,
Arizona, notes this possibility: “A ritual celebrated by a religious addict will almost
always be ritually abusive, because it is most likely an attempt to use ritual to control
the spiritual journey of others” (M. Linn, et al., 1994, p. 14).
Rituals are not just part of religious addiction; they are also a very real part
of the disorder known as obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). It is extremely
likely that there is a direct correlation between a part of religious addiction, known
as scrupulosity, and OCD. In 1907, Sigmund Freud wrote, “I am certainly not
the first person to have been struck by the resemblance between what are called
obsession actions in sufferers from nervous afflictions and the observances by
means of which believers give expression to their piety” (Rapoport, 1989, p. 239).
To put it simply, obsessions and compulsions are private, while religious rites are
public (Rapoport, 1989).
At first glance, the definitions of obsession, compulsion, and scrupulosity
appear to be quite different. Obsession is defined as an idea or an impulse that
persistently intrudes into a person’s mind. Compulsion is the form of action that the
obsession takes (Freedman, Kaplan, & Sadock, 1972). In 1730, scrupulosity was
defined by Saint Alphonsus Liguori as a “groundless fear of sinning that arises from
‘erroneous ideas’” (Rapoport, 1989). Through the ages, church writers became
more psychologically minded, and in 1966, V. M. O’Flaherty defined scrupulosity
in almost the same terms as the American Psychiatric Association defines OCD
(Rapoport, 1989).
Scrupulosity actually dates back to the twelfth century. It is derived from the
Latin word scrupus. Scrupulus is the diminutive form, meaning a small stone. The
neutral form scrupulum is the smallest division of weight, about the twenty-fourth
part of an ounce. This tiny amount could tip the balance of a scale (Rapoport,
1989).
Saint Ignatius Loyola provided the Catholic Church with its first definition of
scrupulosity through his own obsessive behavior (Rapoport, 1989). In 1522–1523,
Loyola wrote the Spiritual Exercises for the Overcoming of Self and the Regulation
of One’s Life on the Basis of a Decision Arrived at Without Any Unregulated
Motive. In his book, he tells of his own experience of accidentally walking on two
bits of crossed straw:
After treading on such a cross, or it may be, after thinking or saying or doing something
else, the idea occurs to me from outside myself that I have sinned, whilst on the other hand
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I do not think I have; however I go on feeling this disturbance of mind, partly doubting, and
partly not doubting; this is properly a scruple . . . It does in fact have a strong purifying and
cleansing effect on such a soul, by going far to withdraw it from the mere semblance of sin.
In St. George’s words: “To see a fault where there is no fault is a sign of a well-disposed
mind.” (Loyola, 1525/1973, p. 118)
When Martin Luther celebrated his first mass in 1517, he was greatly worried
that he had inadvertently omitted some part of the mass (Rapoport, 1989). Because
such an omission would be a sin (Medieval Handbooks, 1938/1980), blasphemous
thoughts came to Luther and he wanted to confess several times each day. Eventually his preceptor in the monastery disciplined him (Rapoport).
In 1660, Jeremy Taylor, a Cambridge-educated clergyman and writer, showed
how scrupulosity merged into an obsession disorder and eventually into madness.
“They repent when they have not sinn’d. [Scruple] is a trouble where trouble is
over, a doubt when doubts are resolved” (Rapoport, p. 236–237, 1989).
Several studies have been conducted on scrupulosity and OCD. In 1927, a
church-conducted survey revealed that four percent of those surveyed gave answers that were considered scrupulous. Those who did give scrupulous answers
also indulged in excessive prayer and unreasonable doubting as well as other activities (Rapoport, 1989). According to clinical studies of OCD in patients living
in countries where conservative religious upbringing is foremost, religious themes
are dominant in obsessions and compulsion. There is also evidence that religion
may play a role in the severity of OCD. In a different clinical study, OCD patients provided data on religion. The results were as follows: 30.1% were Roman
Catholic, 24.1% were Protestant, and 18.1% were Jewish (Swinson et al., 1998).
The data and history of OCD and scrupulosity show it is extremely likely that
religious addiction can be attributed, at least in part, to these disorders.
Addiction is a process, a series of stages. Whether or not the addiction is to
a certain substance or behavior, there are certain phases common to all. Religious
addiction has definite beginning, middle, and end stages. Specialists in addictions
have long used E. M. Jellenik’s disease concept of alcoholism to illustrate the
downward spiral of addiction (Booth, 1991). Fr. Leo Booth formulated his own
comparison of religious addiction to Jellinek’s alcoholism chart.
The early stages of religious addiction are not easily detected. As with other
addictions, it does not happen overnight. The roots of religious addiction can often
be traced back to early childhood and can include anything from rigid parents to
ritualistic religious abuse (Arterburn & Felton, 1991).
In the first stages of addiction, the addict’s life is fairly balanced; religious
activities do not take precedence. But because of feelings of worthlessness, church
activities increase. Joining a church brings a sense of having family, of belonging,
and of being loved (Booth, 1991). Eventually, religion becomes a hindrance to
the intimacy needed to maintain healthy family relationships. Family members
begin to take a separate path from the addict and it is also frequently a path away
from God. The addict starts to negatively judge others and defend his/her beliefs by
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quoting Scripture or citing doctrine. A loss of humility sets in and church attendance
changes from a need to know God to a need to feel significant and secure. Prayer
moves from communing with God to becoming a person of God. The length of
time involved in prayer is a source of pride (Arterburn & Felton, 1991).
As the middle stage begins, the focus shifts. The addict needs to feel special
and will join additional activities and functions at the church. There is a growing
sense of urgency, a compulsion to do more. The addict is now losing control (Booth,
1991). His/her faith takes up every aspect of life. Sacrifices are made to get blessings
from God, and spiritual gifts are seen as a ladder to the top of a church group or
position. A deepening denial begins to set in. The addict eliminates all doubts about
his/her own personal faith; there is no questioning of validity. The religious addict
also learns how to gain a “high.” “All the pent-up hurt and depression must find a
source of relief . . . [they] choose to ritual it out” (Arterburn & Felton, p. 142). If
this “high” is not enough, a dual addiction usually sets in. This addiction may be
alcohol, but commonly it is food because of the sugar rush. Recruitment of others
now takes place. New recruits affirm that the addict has chosen the right path in
life (Arterburn & Felton, 1991).
The end stages of religious addiction combine a loss of control with a loss of
self. A vicious cycle begins. The addict attempts to stop the behavior but relapses.
This addiction now creates pain whereas before the pain was relieved (Booth,
1991). The addict now hits bottom. He/she is consumed by the addiction and is
isolated from anyone not part of that system. There is a sense of abandonment
by God as the religious “highs” become further and further apart. Resentment
and anger set in as the addict has growing feelings of inferiority, and the rage is
often directed at others. The problems of addiction are now obvious (Arterburn &
Felton, 1991).
The addict’s world starts to crumble as trouble begins to come from many
different sources. Bankruptcy looms due to the over pledging of funds and because
witnessing takes precedence over work. Home life falls apart as family responsibilities are neglected. After years of abuse, the family refuses to continue to live
with the addict. His/her faith begins to disintegrate. There are moments of understanding as doubts creep in about leaders, God, and the actual existence of God
(Arterburn & Felton, 1991).
Mental and emotional breakdown is imminent. The addict feels betrayed and
does not care who is hurt as long as there is no more humiliation. Often, the only
way the addict sees out of his/her problems is admission to a mental hospital or
death by means of suicide (Arterburn & Felton, 1991).
While religious addiction is a behavioral addiction and therefore affects an
individual’s spirituality, it also has recognizable physical symptoms. In his book,
A Psychiatrist Looks at Religion, James Knight writes of the total diagnosis of an
addict: “It is never the religious expression as such that leads to the diagnosis of
mental illness, but an assessment of the total situation within which that expression
arises” (Oates, 1973, p. 268). The physical symptoms, which are stress related,
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include backaches and headaches, hypertension, chronic fatigue, insomnia, and
memory loss (Booth, 1991).
The emotional/mental symptoms of religious addiction begin mildly but gradually increase in severity. These symptoms coincide with the three stages of addiction. In the beginning, the primary symptom is the inability to question someone
in authority, or to question information. Not questioning is seen as a sign of faith.
Thinking in terms of black and white takes over, and there is a need for perfection
and order. The addict sees life only in terms of right and wrong. The addict may
begin to abuse others because of his/her inability to deal with gray areas of life.
Attempts are made to impose rigid dogma and rules on people, particularly close
family members (Booth, 1991; Doyle, 2000).
Other symptoms also become apparent as the addiction spirals downward,
such as a shame-based belief or unworthiness. The addict is robbed of self-respect
and dignity. Magical thinking soon follows. This could be the belief that God will
fix whatever is wrong, or that God will direct his/her life. A fantasy relationship
with God develops, and reality slips further away. The addict feels an intense need
to follow rules or a code of ethics. He/she may feel that sin is everywhere. This
scrupulosity gives a false sense of safety and the idea that one can escape painful
feelings (Booth, 1991; Doyle, 2000).
The symptoms become progressively worse as the addict slips further into
the addiction. Uncompromising judgmental attitudes, including bigotry and hatred,
are commonplace. Calling others heretics, anti-church, or even anti-God is used
as a defense if the addict feels threatened about his/her beliefs. This intolerance,
frighteningly enough, can lead to the addict killing someone he/she thinks is evil
(Booth, 1991; Doyle, 2000).
Certain types of behavior, visible at church, are also symptomatic of religious addiction. The addict becomes very compulsive about prayer, believing that
more time spent in prayer is better. More and more time is spent on church activities and/or crusades. The addict seeks out others who share the same beliefs
for support. The addict may begin to compulsively overeat. The other side of the
coin is excessive fasting. This spiritual fasting gives the addict a boost in his/her
self-esteem as well as a feeling of superiority. Unrealistic financial contributions
make the addict feel appreciated because they believe that money equals power.
The result is bankruptcy (Booth, 1991; Doyle, 2000).
Another symptom of religious addiction is the conflict the addict has with
science, medicine, and education. Ideas from these fields challenge the addict’s
black and white thinking and narrow beliefs. The addict finds it necessary to home
school to protect his/her children from the “evils” of education. Medicine involves
trusting in others and not in God. Oftentimes, for this reason, the addict allows no
medical procedures to be performed (Booth, 1991).
Psychosomatic illnesses and a progressive detachment from the real world begin to take hold of the addict. Sleeplessness, backpain, and headaches, among other
physical effects of addiction, start to take their toll on the body. The addict suffers
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physically, emotionally, and mentally. He/she slips further away from reality. The
addict is isolated and faces a breakdown in their relationships. Now consumed by
religion, he/she experiences depression and personality changes. Oftentimes, the
addict will leave home “to deepen faith and serve God more” (Booth, 1991, p. 80).
This only further ruins relationships (Booth; Doyle, 2000).
The end stages are now drawing near. The addict claims to receive special messages from God as he/she escapes into fantasy. The addict makes excuses are made
for bizarre behavior, unrealistic demands, and excessive judgments (Booth, 1991).
Philosopher and psychologist William James states, “Addiction often persists because the addict is unwilling or unable to acknowledge the problem” (Addiction
and the Brain-Part 2, Art. 72, SIRS, 1999). The addict wears a glazed, happy face
during a trancelike state, or religious “high.” This “high” is produced by performing certain rituals, such as praying and/or chanting. Rage, anger, and tension are
hidden carefully by the mask they wear for others. The addict now approaches
insanity (Booth, 1991; Doyle, 2000).
The addict now has reached rock bottom. He/she cries out for help. There
can be mental, emotional, and/or physical breakdown. The addict may be hospitalized. However, the end, the rock bottom of the addiction, can be a beginning
(Booth, 1991).
It may be that most or all of society is vulnerable to religious addiction due to a
conditioning to obedience to authorities, but there are some who are at greater risk.
Adults who grew up in a dysfunctional home are at risk of developing an addiction.
Especially vulnerable are those who lived with a religiously addicted parent. Every
abused child feels the need to escape and to be safe. “The magical thinking and
fantasy aspects of religion, the twin lures of escape and fix, are powerfully attractive
to those who have been sexually or physically abused” (Booth, 1991, p. 86).
Other groups of people are similarly at risk for religious addiction. The elderly frequently feel abandoned by family and want to be a part of a family
again. They are often drawn to religious television out of loneliness and send exorbitant amounts of money to evangelists. Because God is seen as the universal
fixer, the sick also face the risk of religious addiction. Particularly vulnerable are
those with congenital birth defects, degenerative illnesses or terminal illnesses.
Minorities and youth look for a sense of belonging and a sense of identity, and
often find it in religious groups. Churches can give them a purpose of mission
and a feeling of power and control. Finally, people with other addictions are also
at risk. Addicts tend to be very compulsive individuals, and they may turn to
God to stop the other addictions. They end up trading one addiction for another
(Booth, 1991).
Religious addiction is a disease that affects the entire family. “It can and
does destroy relationships and families” (Doyle, 2000). Often the addicted person
develops a need to hurt family members by punishing those who interfere with
his/her addictive practice (Hatterer, 1980). Religious addiction is malicious when
a person constantly shifts blame, refuses forgiveness, disallows another’s own
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humanity (Oates, 1973). The love that the addict has for his/her family is a selfish
love. Thomas Merton, in his book, No Man Is an Island, defines a selfish love as
the following:
A selfish love seldom respects the rights of the beloved to be an autonomous person. Far
from respecting the true being of another and granting his personality to grow and expand in
its original way, this love seeks to keep him in subjection to ourselves. (Merton, 1978, p. 9)
“Religious addiction cannot exist in a vacuum; nearly every religious addict
abuses someone” (Booth, p. 91, 1991). Family members are affected negatively by
addiction to religion (Doyle, 2000). There are certain patterns to the dysfunction
of religiously abused families. The two family types are the blue-collar family
group and the white-collar family group. The profiles are generalizations, but they
do show how religious addiction affects families (Booth, 1991).
In the blue-collar family, the father is clearly dominant. He was taught to be
church going, and his family must accompany him. He is rigid, authoritarian, and
tyrannical. He is often given to fits of rage. He was probably abused as a child, both
physically and sexually. He abuses his wife and children, and he may also have an
addiction to sex. He is jovial in public, but his family and co-workers feel as though
they must be careful around him. He has no real friends; however, he will gather
similar people around him to give the illusion that he is normal (Booth, 1991).
The mother quite often is passive, “beaten down physically and emotionally”
(Booth, p. 93, 1991). She is typical of a battered wife and feels powerless to
challenge her husband’s authority. She may even know that her spouse abuses
their children but buries her guilt and shame by overeating or secret drinking.
She may or may not share the same religious beliefs as her husband. Her initial
attraction to him was to what she saw as a good church going boy. Now, however,
the addiction is progressively frightening. She feels she cannot break out of the
abuse because she was raised to stay married for better or worse. The mother hates
the religious indoctrination being forced upon the children. Part of the time, she
believes her husband has a problem and looks for something that will change him.
Other times, she truly wonders if the problem lies with her. She is on the verge of
an emotional breakdown (Booth, 1991).
If the mother of the family happens to be the one addicted to religion, she is
generally full of rage. She may be an alcoholic but more likely is a compulsive overeater. She is undoubtedly a survivor of childhood abuse. Her personality is rigid and
controlling, and she is clearly the dominant spouse and parent. She equates perfection with salvation, and, therefore, she is extremely critical of others (Booth, 1991).
The family tends to be low to middle income. No one is allowed to question
authority or even think independently. Violent arguments and abuse occur with the
mealtime prayers. The family stays in chaos and conflict. They do not speak to
other family members except on an extremely superficial level. Little time is spent
on family activities; their energy is spent on trying to survive and stay clear of the
religious addict (Booth, 1991).
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In contrast, the white-collar family cares deeply about how they appear to
others. They look as though they are the perfect all-American family. However,
the family is horribly tangled. Members of the family do everything together,
and the image is that of closeness. In fact, they are too close. It is difficult to
tell where one individual ends and another begins. Love is measured by material
possessions. The family does not know how to show love through feelings and
emotions. The children are required to reflect the values of the parents as a sign of
love. Members of the family generally lack true Christian compassion and charity
(Booth, 1991).
The white-collar father is typically a perfectionist and a workaholic. He is
generally obsessive and compulsive about his projects. More than likely, he grew
up in a dysfunctional family, and he was perceived as an overachieving fixer. He is
basically insecure and feels validated by money and prestige. He contributes large
amounts of money to his church because he craves gratification and recognition.
Quite often, he has a weight problem and works hard to keep up his outward
appearance (Booth, 1991).
The mother of the white-collar family is also probably from a dysfunctional
family. Material possessions are also a sign of success for her. Marrying a successful
husband is a measure of her own self-worth. She tends to live through her husband;
she is a religious and social appendage to him. She and her spouse are similar in
that appearances mean everything to them (Booth, 1991). As Joseph Kennedy said,
“It is not who you actually are but who people think you are that matters” (Blue,
p. 68, 1993).
If the mother of the family is the addict, she tends to live through her church
and civic activities. Typically, she will have her own career. On the surface, she
appears to have a genuine marital partnership with her husband. Instead, he is
controlled and manipulated. Withholding sex is a means of power for her. Her
religiosity seems to be low-key; however, her value system is extremely rigid
(Booth, 1991).
The religious addict’s behavior can trigger certain behaviors in his/her spouse
(Booth, 1991). The addict finds security in playing God to someone. The spouse
finds comfort in being consumed by someone else’s needs (Blue, 1993). The relationship between addict and spouse is called codependency. The Johnson Institute
of Minneapolis defines codependency as a “set of maladaptive, compulsive behaviors learned by family members to survive in a family experiencing great emotional
pain and stress” (Beattie, 1989, pp. 12–13).
The codependent spouse may in desperation attempt to force the religious
addict to change. The struggle usually ends in failure, and the spouse feels angry
and frustrated. Eventually he/she becomes compliant in order to avoid creating
more conflict. This loss of self and spiritual degradation experienced by spouses
of religious addicts is illustrated in Marie Schutt’s book, Wives of Alcoholics: From
Co-dependency to Recovery. She describes the rules of caretaking that a codependent spouse uses to cope and survive. The rules are as follows: peace at any price;
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conspiracy of silence; never quit; never discuss feelings; and the appearance of
normalcy (Booth, 1991).
Peace at any price is the first rule of care taking. Any infraction of the dogmatic
rules is likely to produce sessions of prayer, scripture quoting, and possible physical abuse. To maintain the peace, the codependent spouse will set aside his/her
own personal beliefs, interests, or hobbies. All available energy is spent trying to
keep the addicted spouse content. The price of such peace is a loss of self. The
codependent spouse simply ceases to exist (Booth, 1991).
Maintaining the conspiracy of silence is paramount. “The family suffers in
[the] lie of silence” (Booth, p. 117, 1991). Because the idea of addiction to religion
is extremely new, the spouse and other family members fear they will not be believed. They fear no one will understand how a good Christian could become mentally ill. Sadly, people often do not believe. In order to cope, the codependent spouse
will minimize or even deny the truth of a religiously addicted spouse (Booth, 1991).
Another rule of care taking is never quit. The codependent spouse slips into
magical thinking, or denial. He/she thinks the religious addict cannot be wrong
and therefore, the spouse must be. Maybe the codependent spouse has not been
good enough or prayed enough. Perhaps the children were not raised properly.
“Addiction is partly an avoidance of responsibility, and codependents assist that
avoidance by blaming themselves . . . for the unhappiness” (Booth, p. 118, 1991).
The addict’s spouse resigns himself/herself to a victim’s role. There is no choice
but to shoulder the burden. “To never quit can be the same as suicide” (Booth,
p. 118, 1991.)
The religious addict’s judgmentalness keeps the spouse from expressing any
feelings. To maintain the peace, the codependent spouse cannot let his/her emotions
show. Feelings and emotions are seen as a sign of weakness and failure, especially
feelings of abuse (Booth, 1991).
The last rule of care taking is to maintain an appearance of normalcy. The
ultimate goal for a family of God is not to have problems. The ideal religious fantasy
is to have the perfect family. An imperfection would disgrace both to the church
and God. This secrecy is a breeding ground for other addictions (Booth, 1991).
Because religious addiction is a hidden disease, what appears to be a normal,
stable home actually is not. Children therefore have a difficult time identifying their
family as dysfunctional. The children of religious addicts often grow up thinking
they have a problem. The religious addict and the codependent spouse created an
outline of dysfunctional behavior for their children (Booth, 1991).
Claudia Black, a pioneer in the Adult Children of Alcoholics movement,
coined the saying, “Don’t talk, don’t trust, don’t feel,” as a rule that children of
dysfunctional families live by. The rule for children of religious addicts is similar:
do not think, do not doubt, do not question (Booth, 1991).
Children of religious addicts tend to take on certain roles in the dysfunctional
family. In her book, Another Chance, Sharon Wegschneider-Cruse defines these
roles as the hero (or responsible child), the scapegoat (or rebel), the lost child, and
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the mascot (or distracter) (Booth, 1991; M. Linn, et al, 1994). These roles can be
seen in any combination, regardless of birth order. (M. Linn, et al, 1994).
The responsible child, or hero, takes charge amid chaos. He/she always seems
to have the right answer or solution, whatever the problem. The blue-collar hero
tends to pursue white-collar jobs. Men go into the ministry or join the military to
gain the necessary education and training. Women go into teaching or the retail
business. The hero child appears to be personally and professionally successful.
However, he/she has low self-esteem and self-doubt. The hero may be considered
rigid in thinking, critical, and intolerant. He/she masks painful feelings behind
workaholism and perfectionism (Booth, 1991).
The scapegoat, or rebel, feels unjustly accused of wrongdoing. Since no one
ever believes this child, siblings and playmates learn quickly to blame him/her. The
scapegoat feels worthless, inadequate, and doomed to fail. This child will rebel by
using drugs or dropping out of school. The rebel bottles up emotions until he/she
simply explodes. Deep-rooted self-hatred and anti-social behavior develops. The
blue-collar scapegoat is most vulnerable to extreme fundamentalism or right-wing
groups such as the Ku Klux Klan. He/she is also vulnerable to gambling and/or
sexual addictions. The scapegoat, or rebel, must constantly test his/her worthiness
in the eyes of God (Booth, 1991).
The lost child is another role assumed by children in dysfunctional families.
This child is totally lost amid the chaos. He/she feels rejected and actually believes
this rejection is deserved. The lost child’s overwhelming need is quiet safety, and
he/she quickly learns to sacrifice himself/herself to achieve it. As an adult, this
child is often the one who remains at home, caring for the parents. Still ignored
and unappreciated, hope remains that one day life will change. He/she copes with
family dysfunction by either totally rejecting God or creating a fantasy world where
only God can be trusted (Booth, 1991).
The blue-collar lost child is excellent at escaping to safe havens. He/she only
wants to feel safe, secure, and loved. Oftentimes, food becomes this safe haven
because food is safe and not forbidden. Some lost children decide to avoid human
relationships altogether and only seek God’s love. Some achieve this solitude
by becoming priests, nuns, or missionaries; others find solitude by living sterile,
celibate, monastic lives (Booth, 1991).
Like the hero, the mascot, or distracter, is seeking positive attention. However, he/she gets this attention by entertaining the family and by helping the family
members forget their woes. The mascot is willing to do anything in front of an
audience for attention, which could include being a choir leader or a Sunday
school scripture reader. He/she tries to create a family of God to ensure healthy
nurturing. A good example of a mascot, or distracter, would be Tammy Faye
Bakker. Her heavy, clown-like makeup hid the pain of her family’s dysfunction
(Booth, 1991).
Adult children of religious addiction share traits with all adult children of
dysfunction. However, adult children of religiously addicted families display these
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traits as symptoms of religious addiction. Fr. Leo Booth uses a framework from
Janet Woititz’ book, Adult Children of Alcoholics to show how religious addiction
affects children who have grown up in a dysfunctional home (Booth, 1991).
1. “Adult children of religious addicts guess at what normal is” (Booth,
1991, p. 141). These children have no sense of what a normal life is
because of the oppressive rules and rigid, black and white thinking. They
are in constant turmoil and have feelings of fear, guilt, and shame (Booth,
1991).
2. “Adult children of religious addicts have trouble following a project through to the end” (Booth, 1991, p. 142). These children have been taught
since birth that they are worthless in the sight of God. Therefore, gaining
self-respect and true spirituality is next to impossible (Booth, 1991.)
3. “Adult children of religious addicts lie when it would be just as easy to
tell the truth” (Booth, 1991, p. 142). Since religious addicts are moody
and unpredictable, the children learn that, in order to survive, they must
deny, lie, and manipulate to avoid guilt and shame (Booth, 1991).
4. “Adult children of religious addicts judge themselves without mercy”
(Booth, 1991, p. 143). These children are given impossible role models
to emulate, for example: the Blessed Virgin Mary, prophets, and the saints.
Bible stories filled with sacrifices and an angry God can be very scary
to young children because children, at a young age, cannot distinguish
between reality and fable. They literally fear God. Their desire to be good
carries an unconscious terror (Booth, 1991).
5. “Adult children of religious addicts have difficulty having fun” (Booth,
1991, p. 144). These children are taught that kissing, wrestling, dancing,
watching television, and going to movies are sinful. Even Halloween is
taboo for some children. They are taught that sex is evil. Consequently,
when these children grow up, they have a difficult time talking about sex,
much less enjoying it (Booth, 1991).
6. “Adult children of religious addicts have difficulty with intimate relationships” (Booth, 1991, p. 145). These children are told from childhood that
people are basically sinful, depraved, and evil. The focus of spirituality is
to be outside the body. Sharing with another person becomes difficult, and
an intimate relationship is frightening to the adult child (Booth, 1991).
7. “Adult children of religious addicts overreact to changes over which they
have no control” (Booth, 1991, p. 146). These children have grown up
where everything has to be kept orderly. The carefully constructed system and black and white thinking allow for no mistakes or errors. Change
means new rules and the possibility of mistakes, therefore the adult children resist changes in their life (Booth, 1991).
8. “Adult children of religious addicts constantly seek approval and affirmation” (Booth, 1991, p. 147). Self-esteem and confidence are rooted in
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acceptance by God, church, and other people. These children are unable
to discover God in their own life. Therefore, they continue to look for
approval and self-worth in the pomp and the ritual of church (Booth,
1991).
“Adult children of religious addicts usually feel different from other
people” (Booth, 1991, p. 147). These children have been taught that they
are chosen, sanctified, and blessed by God. Other people are just evil.
Because of this teaching, these children did not socialize with others.
This upbringing causes emotional isolation and brings a fear of intimacy.
Therefore, these children are vulnerable to hidden addictions such as
sexual addictions, anorexia, bulimia, and gambling (Booth, 1991).
“Adult children of religious addicts are super-responsible or superirresponsible” (Booth, 1991, p. 148). These children want everyone to
share in their salvation and righteousness. They will go to any length to
try to convert others. They tend to be highly insensitive to others’ beliefs
and feelings. This zealousness creates irresponsible behaviors because
these adult children are incapable of seeing their destructive behavior
(Booth, 1991).
“Adult children of religious addicts are extremely loyal, even in the face of
evidence that loyalty is undeserved” (Booth, 1991, p. 149). These children
are taught that being disloyal is a sin. Also, there is a manipulated use of
forgiveness; the parents of these children appeal to the Christian sense of
forgiveness (Booth, 1991).
“Adult children of religious addicts tend to lock themselves into a course
of action without giving serious consideration to alternative behavior or
possible consequences” (Booth, 1991, p. 150). These children have lost
the ability to think or question, and all choices seem to be gone. They are
torn between the two worlds: the world of rigid dogmatic thinking and
the world as it truly is (Booth, 1991).
Clearly, addiction to religion is a true addiction. It has the characteristics and
symptoms similar to other addictions, and it destroys families just as other addictions do. However, religious addiction shares another characteristic with substance
and behavioral addictions: recovery is completely possible.
The first step of recovery is breaking through the denial that an addiction to
religion exists. The addict needs to realize that the relationship with the addiction is
primary in their life. The addict’s religion has become so toxic that it has seriously
hurt relationships with family and friends (Arterburn & Felton, 1991).
Recovery begins with the first confrontation, or intervention (Arterburn &
Felton, 1991). Intervention, according to Fr. Leo Booth, is an “effective means
of communication; it is a gentle, loving, healthy way to confront addicts with the
destructive effects of their compulsive behaviors” (Booth, p. 214, 1991). Those
people who are close to the religious addict can finally express their views and
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feelings (Arterburn & Felton, 1991). Treatment actually begins when someone
helps the addict see an addiction to religion exists (Hatterer, 1980). If the addict
can actually use the word “addiction,” the admission is an invitation to begin the
healing process, to begin the recovery, and to be determined to take action. If
the denial of addiction fades, there is a good chance of recovery. The first step is
achieved when he/she realizes that religious addiction and abuse are destructive
to God, self, and others. However, if the religious addict cannot admit a problem
exists, the chances for a recovery are slim (Arterburn & Felton, 1991).
Treatment can begin once this first step of acceptance is achieved. It must
be kept in mind that even though the addict knows help is needed, he/she will be
reluctant to let go of the addiction to religion because it has been a reliable friend.
The addiction has made life tolerable and less painful for the addict as well as
providing comfort and security. “It is impossible to give up all of these benefits
in an instant” (Arterburn & Felton, p. 267). The process of recovery takes time,
effort, and a willingness to be vulnerable (Arterburn & Felton, 1991).
Although religious addiction is classed as a behavioral addiction, it does take a
physical toll on the body (Booth, 1991). Religious addicts have a tendency towards
being overweight due to their poor eating habits. They also do not participate in
physical activities because most of their time is spent on religion (Arterburn &
Felton, 1991).
Much like spiritual recovery, physical recovery is also important. The addict
needs to view his/her body as a temple of God. Rest, exercise, and proper nutrition
are not afterthoughts; they are priorities for recovery from addiction. Moods can be
stabilized with the minimization of caffeine and sugar. Exercise takes on the role
of a natural, relaxation technique. Proper rest will reduce stress and irritability. In
recovery, the idea of proper rest is often neglected. However, if the addict looks
and feels miserable, he/she will return to old compulsive behaviors as a way to
reduce the misery (Arterburn & Felton, 1991).
The mental recovery of a person with religious addiction is a long process. The
addict requires not only initial treatment but also continuing therapy (White, 1998).
It must be remembered that the person and the religion are not bad; the religious
aspect of someone’s life has reached the point of dysfunction (Booth, 1991). Help
must come from counseling “with a certified psychologist who is knowledgeable
about religious addiction or at least addictive behavior” (Doyle, 2000).
The religious addict’s thinking is disorganized. Through therapy, he/she must
confront the toxic thoughts and replace them with thoughts grounded in reality.
In their book, Toxic Faith: Understanding and Overcoming Religious Addiction,
Stephen Arterburn and Jack Felton discuss the common toxic thought patterns
religious addicts display and the treatment used to confront those ideas (Arterburn
& Felton, 1991).
The first of the toxic thoughts is “thinking in extremes.” This is defined by
thinking in terms of black and white. The addict believes that either something or
someone is completely right, or it is completely wrong. There are no gray areas
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for the religious addict. This type of “thinking drives the addict and fuels crusades
against the corrupt” (Arterburn & Felton, p. 271). One mistake made by the addict
equals failure; therefore, he/she denies doing anything wrong (Arterburn & Felton,
1991).
The treatment for “thinking in extremes” is to confront that thinking with
thinking in the opposite extreme. The addict is reminded that sin is an act. Sin
does not make one a failure, and it is not a character description. Because religious
addicts are extremely critical of themselves and others, they must be taught that no
one has to be perfect to be good or to be accepted. God will always care and love
despite imperfections. Therefore, addicts learn to relax their perfections, to accept
their humanity, and to be merciful on themselves and others. This mercy can go a
long way in healing or re-establishing relationships (Arterburn & Felton, 1991).
Another thought pattern dealt with in therapy is the act of “drawing invalid
conclusions” (Arterburn & Felton, p. 273). “Drawing invalid conclusions” is simply the addict’s ability to turn every circumstance into a negative. The addict
believes that if a sin is committed, he/she will not get into heaven. Or the belief
may be that God will take care of every aspect of the addict’s life. While this second
statement is true—that God does care about every aspect of life—it does not imply
that everything will work out even if the addict takes no action. He/she is actually
avoiding reality. The treatment for “drawing invalid conclusions” is making the
religious addict identify irrational conclusions and see life as it truly is (Arterburn
& Felton, 1991).
Several other toxic thought patterns exist for the religious addict, and each
one of these thought patterns has its own treatment and therapy. During a process
called “faulty filtering” (Arterburn & Felton, p. 275), the addict only focuses on
the irrelevant. He/she can only see personal sin or sin in the world, and he/she
refuses to see anything else. The treatment is to confront the addict with the need
to concentrate on personal issues of change. “Thinking with the heart” (Arterburn
& Felton, p. 278) is the condition where feelings are the basis of reality. The addict
has a self-obsessed existence. The thought pattern would be, for example, “if I feel
bad, I must be bad.” The treatment would have the addict separate feelings from
factual reality. “Maintaining hyperresponsibility” (Arterburn & Felton, p. 281)
has the addict taking responsibility for everything because of the desire to be in
control. This thought pattern actually compounds low self-worth. In therapy, the
addict learns to give up their desire to be in control and the egocentric feelings or
responsibility for everything (Arterburn & Felton, 1991).
“Discarding the negative” (Arterburn & Felton, p. 277) is another toxic
thought pattern observed in a religious addict. The addict will allow immoral
behavior for himself/herself but not for others. He/she rationalizes the behavior by
claiming to have special needs or by being the exception to the rule. The treatment
forces the addict to face up to his/her wrongs. Also, he/she must try to make restitution to the people he/she has hurt. Another thought pattern that must be treated
is “invalidating the positive” (Arterburn & Felton, p. 276). In this thought pattern,
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the addict cannot accept a compliment. He/she disqualifies the compliment with
a statement such as “don’t thank me, thank God,” or “it wasn’t me, Christ did it.”
This is not humility; it actually invalidates the addict. Treatment and therapy teach
the person to accept compliments. The addict learns that he/she was created in the
image of God. Therefore, God truly loves him/her (Arterburn & Felton, 1991).
The religious addict must deal with the toxic thought of “surrounding oneself
with shoulds” (Arterburn & Felton, p. 279). This thought pattern consists of selfinduced pressure. Thoughts of “I should have done better” or “I should have done
more” are commonplace. The addict actually believes these and other unrealistic
demands can be met. Unfortunately, the only rewards are depression and disappointment. With this toxic thought pattern, there is a belief that Christians should
be continuously happy. If they are sad, the addict wonders what is wrong with
him/her. This belief leads the addict to additional religious and compulsive behaviors in search of happiness. This thought pattern also causes some religious addicts
to believe that others should be more Christlike. Their frustration and anger grow
when people fail to meet the impossible and unrealistic expectations. Addicts feel
they must change or alter the ways of others. They spend long hours in “supposed”
intercessory prayer or intense witnessing. The treatment has the addict remove the
“should” statements from his/her thought processes. The addict is relieved when
the realization comes that his/her standards were too rigid (Arterburn & Felton,
1991).
In order to recover from religious addiction, the addict quite often needs to
physically remove himself/herself from their current surroundings and environment. Treatment centers offer safe and full-time protection from distractions and
outside influences. This protection is extremely important because the addict may
be dealing with other abuses, such as sexual, emotional, and/or physical abuse
(Booth, 1991).
The treatment center needs to be carefully chosen. The religious addict has
had a lifetime of negative propaganda. He/she does not know what to truly believe
about God, the Bible, or Jesus Christ. As recovery proceeds, the addict will be
continuously bombarded with new information. An entirely new value system
develops with solid biblical principles. A properly chosen treatment center will
“change a naı̈ve believer into a questioning seeker” (Arterburn & Felton, p. 282,
1991).
If an individual is to fully recover from religious addiction, then joining a
support group is of utmost importance. Stephen Arterburn and Jack Felton, experts
in the field of religious addiction, insist that recovery cannot be done alone. If
recovery is attempted alone, it is most likely that the addict will be unsuccessful
and will slip back into the addiction (Arterburn & Felton, 1991).
Certain characteristics are needed in a healthy support group in order to ensure
a sound environment for growth and recovery. Acceptance is extremely important
in a support group. The group is made up of loving and accepting people. Addicts
are allowed to have different religious beliefs, and they can make mistakes without
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fear of shame. Another characteristic of a healthy support group is unconditional,
positive regard for the addict. True love values people for who they are. This
love is an extremely powerful healing force, and it teaches the addict to love
himself/herself, God, and others. Also included in this list of characteristics is the
freedom of expression. Religious addicts need a place to express their emotions
without worry. They need freedom to explore new thoughts and beliefs with no
fear of retribution. Finally, the support group must be noncontrolling. The addict
learns to be responsible for only his/her own behavior. The support group is a new
family where everyone has equal rights and power. Because of the non-autocratic
policy, the addict can grow and mature in recovery and his/her faith (Arterburn &
Felton, 1991).
Support groups are very successful when they employ a twelve-step program,
which has been adopted from Alcoholic Anonymous (A.A.) (Arterburn & Felton,
1991). Fr. Leo Booth adapted the twelve steps of A.A. after recovering religious
addicts shared the fact that the steps made it easier to address their addiction and
abuse. He changed the words but kept the same spiritual insights (Booth, 1991).
Recovery is an ongoing process. It changes and grows as the addict gains
awareness of the addiction. Recovery happens through the six different stages of
perception, stabilization, early stage, mid-stage, last stage, and ongoing recovery.
The stages take in the twelve steps for religious addicts (Booth, 1991).
The first stage of perception is probably the hardest stage to work through.
Religious addiction is a cunning, confusing, and powerful disease. It is a disease
that will fight back. The addict will, in the beginning, resist, grieve, and suffer withdrawal. However, he/she will survive. Each stage and feeling will be experienced
several times as recovery takes place. At first, the religious addict experiences a
tremendous amount of denial. He/she can see a problem and even want to change
but does not know how to fix this problem. He/she may feel helpless and victimized. The black and white thinking makes the addict believe that he/she must give
up God, a decision that is unacceptable to him/her. However, the dysfunctional
beliefs must be abandoned (Booth, 1991).
The addict tries to minimize the problem and submits rather than surrender. He/she has not admitted the powerlessness and the unmanageability of the
addiction. He/she continues high-risk religious activities and comforts. He/she
easily slips into a euphoric recall. The addict, at this stage of recovery, experiences
tremendous cravings and a great fear of emotional hunger (Booth, 1991).
The religious addict suffers from feelings of agitation, isolation, and fear. For
the addict, the pain of dysfunctional behavior is actually preferable to the pain of
experiencing certain feelings for the first time. It is at this point that the addict
needs an enormous amount of support and understanding from friends and family.
The addict experiences wide mood swings as he/she lacks control over emotions.
These mood swings include anger, blame, fearfulness, and irritability. The addict,
at this stage, may feel like giving up. However, by using therapists and the support
group, the addict and his/her family can survive (Booth, 1991).
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The next stage of recovery is stabilization. The religious addict has taken
a serious look at the crisis. He/she has seen the insanity of religious addiction.
He/she moves from desiring change to taking action to create the change. The
addict makes the “conscious choice to take a different path” (Booth, p. 165, 1991).
He/she discovers the power of self-love and acceptance of self. He/she learns that
doubting, questioning, and changing attitudes are all a part of growth (Booth, 1991).
Once the addict consciously makes the decision to change, he/she enters the
early stage of recovery. He/she recognizes the religious addiction and abuse. He/she
sees the dysfunction in the messages received from God. The addict begins to seek
healthy spiritual values, and begins to live in reality. He/she recognizes behavior
patterns as “fixes.” The addict also begins to feel pain and is somewhat able to
connect attitudes and behaviors to these emotions. There is a greater willingness
to make amends and also an increased desire for change. The addict learns to
love himself/herself completely, including those parts he/she considers to be bad
(Booth, 1991).
The addict has already seen how unmanageable his/her life was. However,
at the mid-stage recovery, he/she sees how widespread the unmanageability was.
The addict is able to see how he/she discounted his/her own strengths and abilities.
He/she comes to a greater understanding of how the addiction or abuse is connected
to other issues, especially other addictions. Mid-stage recovery is the stage where
the acceptance of other addictions occurs. The addict begins to attend A.A. and
works harder in therapy (Booth, 1991).
The religious addict becomes open and accepting in the last stage of recovery.
He/she no longer needs to control others and is no longer threatened by differing
beliefs. The addict has addressed his/her judgmentalness and perfectionism. The
addict allows himself/herself to be human, to be imperfect. Richer and more
rewarding relationships can now be experienced (Booth, 1991).
At the final stage of ongoing recovery, the religious addict truly finds himself/
herself. He/she is no longer a passive victim, waiting on God or someone else to
fix problems. He/she finds the power and control to take responsibility for his/her
life. The addict finally sees that he/she is a positive creation, sometimes making
mistakes. Fr. Leo Booth, a recovering religious addict himself, states, “Recovery is
an ongoing process, full of painful periods followed by everlengthening periods of
serenity. We are constantly evolving, changing, refining and redefining ourselves”
(Booth, p. 182–183, 1991).
The religious addict needs to undergo a spiritual recovery in order to be
completely free of the addiction. At first, the addict may be motivated by a need
to remove the unresolved guilt rather than by a desire to find God. When he/she
realizes how the religious was used and how people were hurt, the addict may feel
depressed and worthless. These feelings of pain may be exactly what are needed
for the addict to surrender to God (Arterburn & Felton, 1991).
Surrendering to God is a process. The length and difficulty of the process depends on how far the addiction to religion has progressed and, also on how long the
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addict has had the addiction. The more hidden the addiction, the more difficult surrendering to God will be. Surrendering is a process of letting go and trusting God.
However, “before something can be surrendered to God, it must be uncovered, revealed in all its terror and acknowledged as real” (Arterburn & Felton, p. 270, 1991).
Surrendering to God allows the addict to develop a healthy trust in three
separate areas of his/her faith life. First, the addict learns to trust in God, and
he/she finds relief from the burden of control. He/she is finally free to live without
being driven. The second area is trust in others. Trusting in God gives the addict
the ability to trust others and not to be a victim any more. Finally, trusting God
allows the addict to trust himself/herself, and also trust the judgments that he/she
makes (Arterburn & Felton, 1991).
Stephen Arterburn and Jack Felton summarize a healthy spirituality in the
following:
The development of a healthy faith in God is the greatest process and achievement of a
lifetime. It is a never-ending process with seasons of tremendous growth and seems to
direct every step we take, and at other times He feels as distant as another solar system. He
wants us to seek Him as He seeks us. As we trust Him more, we find Him more loving and
accepting of who we are. He desires for us to grow and is tolerant of us as we stubbornly
refuse to do so. He is always there for us . . . God loves you and wants you for His own.
(Arterburn & Felton, p. 313, 1991)
Religious addiction does not just involve the addict; it always involves his/her
family (Booth, 1991). Families hurt because of religious addiction. The dysfunction
of religious addiction touches everyone in the family. Therefore, family members
must also begin recovery because successful treatment involves everyone. If family
members do not receive help, they will move onto their own addictions (Arterburn
& Felton, 1991).
The family of an addict tends to be very angry, not only with the addict,
but also at themselves for not being able to create change. Treatment must be a
time for expressing those angry feelings so the family can move forward. Family
members need to attend a support group such as A.A., Al-anon, or CoDependents
Anonymous (Arterburn & Felton, 1991). The family will gain insight on their own
dysfunction. Often when the family stops enabling the religious addict, the addict’s
discomfort grows. He/she may then decide to seek help for the addiction (Booth,
1991). Healing is a slow process, and patience is needed. However, once feelings
are resolved, the family has the opportunity to re-form a new bond of a unified
unit of support and love (Arterburn & Felton, 1991).
Religious addiction, although newly defined, is nevertheless an addiction. It
has been a part of history since humans began. It has characteristics similar to other
addictions, both behavior and substance. It has the same highs and lows, and it
destroys families just as easily. Religious addiction touches everyone that it comes
into contact with.
However, “there is great hope for the recovering religious addict. The hope
comes in developing a new faith, pure and free of the poison of addiction”
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(Arterburn & Felton, p. 291, 1991). This new faith holds love at its center, a
love that encompasses everything, and a love that produces kindness. This new
faith has the capability for teaching the addict to love and to be loved (Arterburn &
Felton, 1991).
Saint Paul speaks of this love and new faith in 1 Corinthians 13: “Love suffers
long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself . . . does not seek its
own, is not provoked . . . but rejoices in truth; bears all things, believes all things,
hopes all things, endures all thing” (Lucado, 1995, p. 1367).
After the story cited at the beginning of this paper, I was forced to take a
serious look at my own situation. I saw, perhaps for the first time, the sadness in
my children’s eyes. I saw myself as others did, a timid soul hiding in the shadow of
her spouse. With the love, support, prayer, and guidance of friends, I have gained
an idea of my own self-worth. To say the least, I now see life as an adventure, full of
laughter, freedom and love. I have enrolled in college and have learned even more
about myself. My children now are less timid and have smiles and laughter in their
eyes. They are no longer fearful of speaking their minds, and they have become
individuals in their own right. They are also learning who they truly are. Fr. Leo
Booth states that the goal is to “no longer be victims of religion, but to be positive
and creative humans, nurturing ourselves into full blossom” (Booth, p. 233, 1991).
That goal is, and will continue to be mine if not for me, then for my children. I
have discovered the joy of being alive and of knowing God in a healthy and mature
relationship. I simply refuse to be a victim of religious addiction any more.
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