AP RIZZ
SECTION I, Part A
Time – 45 minutes
Number of questions – 30
1. What is the best scent to garner the attention of potential suitors?
a) Motor oil
b) Fruity light scent
c) Tide pods
d) Tropical punch
e) Raw musk
2. What is the most optimal response time to messages?
a) As soon as you see it
b) 1-3 hours
c) 3-5 hours
d) Ghost accidentally, then reply 2 days later
e) Ghost indefinitely
3. Which pickup line is the least effective:
a) “Do you have a name, or can I just call you ‘mine?’”
b) “You owe me a drink. Because when I saw you, I dropped mine.”
c) “I hope you know CPR, because you are taking my breath away.”
d) “To quote the poet Katy Perry, "You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream."”
e) “Are you a broom? Because you’ve swept me off my feet.”
4. How long after talking to someone is it appropriate to send the
a) As soon as you start
b) 2 days
c) 1-2 weeks
d) 3-4 weeks
e) 1 month+
😳 emoji?
5. You see an 8/10 smiling at you from across the room. The best course of action is to:
a) Make your way across the room to see if you can chat
b) Wink at them and wait for them to make the next move
c) Make your way across the room and immediately give them your number
d) Smile back
e) Bite your lower lip suggestively
6. Which of the following strategies to start talking to a baddie has an above 60% success rate?
I.
Ask them about a mutual
II.
Approach with a pickup line
III.
Greet them and slip them your contact
a) I only
b) III only
c) I and III only
d) I and II only
e) None of the above
7. Which of the following is the second fundamental theorem of rizz?
a) Humor + charisma = 2(bitches)
b) Charm + money = (bitches^2)/(n+1)
c) Charm + confidence = (d/dx) bitches
d) Style + confidence = ∑n=1∞10(1/2)^(bitches−1)
e) Humor + charisma = ∫bitches + ∫(bitches + x^2)
8. Which of the following platforms are used most often by baddies?
a) Snapchat
b) Instagram
c) Discord
d) Facebook
e) VSCO
9. Fill in the blank: People who ______ can never have W rizz.
a) Look average
b) Are broke
c) Don’t kiss the homies goodnight
d) Have no self confidence
e) Lie
10. Which of the following is the correct term for making a strategic exit after successfully rizzing
someone up?
a) Ejaculate and evacuate
b) Rail and bail
c) Smash and dash
d) Pork it and cork it
e) None of the above
11. What is rizz short for?
a) Charisma
b) Risk assessment
c) Land Rover Range Rover Evoque 2.0 TD4 E-Capability 4x4 HSE Dynamic
d) Donald
e) Registered sexual offender
12. Choose the most successful method to rizzpectfully reject someone:
a) “I’m sorry, but I’m just not interested in a relationship right now.”
b) “I’m a zoophile”
c) *Wince and shake your head*
d) “That’s a no from me dawg”
e) “User is currently unavailable. Please call back later.”
13. If you are traveling towards a 9/10 at a rate of 5 meters per second and they are backing away at a rate
of 3 meters per second, how much time do you have before they dial the police?
a) 10.4 seconds
b) -67.24 litres
c) 0 seconds
d) 12.69 seconds
e) 7 minutes
14. You see a baddie out on the street. You:
a) Ask for their Instagram
b) Say a pickup line
c) Wink at them from across the street and make your way over
d) All of the above
e) Leave. They're out of your league
15. The phrase “rizz cannot be learnt, rather, inside each person contains rizz waiting to be awoken” was
coined by whom?
a) Sun Tzu
b) Socrates
c) Sigmund Freud
d) Pythagoras
e) Laozi
16. What is the best course of action after facing rejection?
a) Take it personally and dwell on the rejection
b) Immediately move on and forget about the person
c) Learn from the experience and use it as an opportunity for personal growth
d) Blame the other person for not recognizing your worth
e) Follow them until they reconsider
17. Fill in the blank: It is _____ to pull bitches.
a) Unnecessary
b) Required
c) Life changing
d) Cringe
e) My goal
18. What is the best place to rizz someone up?
a) Any. Rizz is universal
b) At their parents’ house
c) In heavy traffic
d) On social media
e) At the club
19. How many bitches on each arm constitutes W rizz?
a) 0
b) 2
c) 1
d) 38
e) 3.7
20. Which of the following is the correct term for the aftermath of successful rizz?
I.
Blockbuster and Cockthruster
II.
Netflix and chill
III.
IMAX and climax
a) II only
b) III only
c) I and III only
d) I and II only
e) I, II, and III
21. The phrase, “I have pulled no bitches in my life, for of each and every person I pulled, not one was a
bitch” was coined by whom?
a) Socrates
b) Barack Obama
c) Alexander Hamilton
d) Stephen Hawking
e) Nikola Tesla
22. The phrase, “Your shimmers are like the sun’s rays. But unlike the sun’s rays, I can stare at you all
day.” is a demonstration of what type of rizz?
a) Unfathomable
b) Poetic
c) Desperate
d) Emo
e) Ineffective
23. Which of the following books greatly add to the rizz arsenal?
a) Ulysses
b) Twilight
c) Moby Dick
d) The Maze Runner
e) Metamorphosis
👍
😉
😳
💦
24. Which of the following emojis are most rizzfective?
a)
b)
c)
d)
e) None. Emojis do little to increase rizzfectiveness
25. Which of the following haircuts has the highest rizz success rate?
a) Bald
b) Edgar
c) Zoomer
d) Oliver Tree
e) Mullet
AP RIZZ
SECTION I, Part B
Time – 45 minutes
Number of questions – 15
QUESTIONS 26-35 PERTAIN TO THE BELOW PASSAGE:
At a social meetup, Mark had made it his goal to rizz up at least one 8/10. Upon spotting one, he stealthily
began to take action(1). He began by discreetly placing a banana peel beside their feet(2) and then began
to make conversation with their friends(3). Upon 5 minutes of chatting with their friends, Mark then
moved on to the main course. He introduced himself, and asked for the 8’s name, which will henceforth
be known as Victim. The two made friendly conversation and Mark had moved in to slap Victim’s arm
jokingly a few times at the 10 minute mark(4). Near the end, Mark had asked for Victim’s number, and
Victim wrote it down on a gum wrapper that was then handed to Mark(5). Jumping at his victory, Mark
congratulated himself for a job well done. However, by the time he made it home, upon texting the
number given to him earlier, a large burly man responded(6).
26. In sentence (1), why was it necessary for Mark to be stealthy?
a) Prey need to be caught by surprise
b) The FEDs were at the meetup
c) He did not want to be intercepted by someone else
d) He was feeling villainous on that particular day
e) He forgot to wear his camouflage fit
27. In sentence (2), what was the purpose of the banana peel?
a) The banana scent increases rizz success rates by up to 30%
b) Had Victim stepped on the peel, he would have caught them, increasing his rizz success rates
c) Had Victim stepped on the peel, they would have hit their head, allowing Mark to brainwash them
with fake memories
d) Mark could not find a compost and just needed somewhere to throw his garbage
e) Had Mark stepped on the peel, he could have slipped and told Victim that he had fallen for them
28. In sentence (3), why did Mark make conversation with Victim’s friends first?
a) He needed to warm up his rizz
b) He needed to distract the side characters
c) He needed to gain Victim’s trust through their friends
d) He wanted to rizz up every last one of them
e) He needed to assert his dominance by stealing Victim’s pack
29. In sentence (4), what mistake, if any, did Mark make?
a) He did not make any mistakes
b) He should have slapped harder
c) 10 minutes is too soon for joke slapping
d) 10 minutes is too late for joke slapping
e) He should have included Victim’s friends
30. In sentence (5), What mistake, if any, did Mark make?
a) He did not make any mistakes
b) Keeping gum wrappers around at all times is a red flag
c) He should have asked for their social media as opposed to their number
d) He should have called the number immediately
e) He should have given Victim his number instead
31. In sentence (6), what is the most likely reason that the person who answered Mark’s texts was a large
burly man?
a) Victim had given Mark the wrong number on purpose
b) Victim had given Mark the wrong number accidentally
c) Mark had hallucinated the entire meetup and ended up texting a random number in his head
d) The person who answered Mark’s texts was actually Victim, just without makeup
e) The person who Mark was trying to rizz was in fact a large burly man, and Mark had been aware
the whole time
32. Does Mark have W rizz?
a) Yes, because he followed the correct protocol
b) Yes, because he is naturally charming and likable
c) Yes, because the person who answered Mark’s texts was a large burly man
d) No, because Mark forgot to account for the fact that he was unimaginably clapped
e) No, because the person who answered Mark’s texts was a large burly man
33. If Mark wished to incorporate the strategy of getting on his knees and begging, when would he
execute the strategy?
a) Before the action described in sentence(2)
b) Before the action described in sentence(4)
c) Before the action described in sentence(5)
d) After the action described in sentence(5)
e) Mark would be better off not incorporating the described strategy
34. Describe the percentage chance that Mark’s strategies described in sentences (1),(2),and(3) had of
success:
a) 5%
b) 25%
c) 50%
d) 70%
e) 100%
35. Which of the following strategies, if any, would have improved Mark’s performance?
I.
Breakdancing at the 15 minute mark
II.
Using a pickup line
III.
Asking for Victim’s political views
a) II only
b) I and II
c) II and III
d) None. Mark’s performance was impeccable
e) None. Mark’s performance was beyond salvation
QUESTIONS 36-40 PERTAIN TO THE FOLLOWING PASSAGE:
Roses are red, violets are blue,
2I fell for you, with a "How do you do?"
3Are you a magician? 'Cause you cast a spell,
4In your eyes, love's secrets dwell.
1
Your bone structure is giving my bone structure,
6Watch out, I feel as if I’m about to rupture.
7Do you have a map? 'Cause I keep getting lost,
8But in your arms, I'd find love's sweet exhaust.
5
Are you from Missisipi? Because you’re the only miss whose piss I’d sippy,
10For you, I’ll give head with extra lippy.
11If love were a puzzle, you'd be the missing piece,
12In your embrace, all worries cease.
9
36. Which lines have the most W rizz?
a) 3-4
b) 5-6
c) 7-8
d) 9-10
e) 11-12
37. Are lines 3-4 demonstrative of weak rizz?
a) No, because it rhymes
b) No, because it mentions both love and eyes
c) Yes, because magicians are creepy
d) Yes, because it is unoriginal
e) Yes, because telling someone that secrets dwell in their eyes is inappropriate
38. Which of the following would fit best in the passage?
a) “Do you have a name, or can I just call you ‘mine?’”
b) “Roses are red, I want you to remember, you are the reason I lost No Nut November”
c) “If we play Among Us can I be the imposter? Cause I wanna take you out”
d) “Are you suicide? Cause I’m ready to commit”
e) “Your eyes, twin embers of cosmic desire, ignite a celestial fire, a love that will never tire.”
39. Is the passage demonstrative of W rizz?
a) No, because the majority of it is sexual harassment
b) No, because the ending is extremely weak
c) No, because much of the implications remain ambiguous
d) Yes, because it appeals to a wide variety of audiences
e) Yes, because the lines used are extremely charismatic and compelling
40. What is the overall tone of the passage?
a) Desperate
b) Charming
c) Non-consensual
d) Chilling
e) Persuasive
(This question constitutes one third of the total free response score)
1. Compose a sonnet with the genre of poetic rizz. Please include the following words in your
sonnet appropriately, in any order:
Ibuprofen, Twiddle, Guzzle
DO NOT WRITE YOUR ANSWER BEYOND THIS PAGE
(This question constitutes one third of the total free response score)
2. Using Sun Tzu’s fourth principle of rizz, write a passage arguing for whether rizz is acquired or
inherent.
DO NOT WRITE YOUR ANSWER BEYOND THIS PAGE
(This question constitutes one third of your total free response score)
3. Imagine you are attending a social gathering where you have the opportunity to meet and interact
with new people. Your goal is to rizz up as many people as you can and you have the freedom to
use anything you have learned in this unit. In a short essay-style response, describe your
approach.
DO NOT WRITE YOUR ANSWER BEYOND THIS PAGE