Cycle of Socialization – Diana Jacob
October 7th
As a person born outside the country of United States, being exposed to many cultures such as
Asian, European and many other subcultures opened my eyes to how humans on levels of micro,
mezzo, and macro when it comes to socialization interact with each other. I was particularly
exposed to many rules, right from when I could remember to walk and talk, to be vary of men –
to avoid spaces that were exposed to men such as streets after dark, certain areas such as clubs or
even on school grounds, where some of my teachers who identified themselves as males were
people that I needed to avoid. My biases as a young girl were based on the information my
mother provided me so earnestly, where she would say and I quote, ‘Diana, this world is filled
with people, especially men, who are not nice to you, other than your brother and father, so be
careful and stick with me.’ She would always add another statement regarding my posture or my
attitude right after. I was taught that being a girl meant to reach certain expectations or rules of
what the society deemed appropriate. My fears became reality when I encountered an unpleasant
experience with the opposite gender that left me with trauma and a false understanding of how
all men were the same based on the actions of a few people. This sort of mentality continued,
growing deeper and strong as I moved through my middle and high school years, and being in an
all-girls school and having no interaction with boys my age, it took me a long time to revisit the
negative feelings I carried towards men in general, which was different with boys who were of
my age or in school with me.
My whole life changed as I moved to the United States of America and got exposed to cultures
where friendships are made, not in terms of gender but on how good the people can hold
conversations. Through time spent in this country, I was able to understand how different people
can be and all it takes to understand someone is through communication, which changed the way
I looked at how my interactions with anyone who identified different from what I believe and am
were conducted and if needed, through experiences gained through self and learning more about
the cultures, I was able to shift my focus to understanding myself as a person too, as I opened
myself to understanding others, specifically men. I came to realize I was part of a larger
community, the LGBTQ+ and the people who first supported me were the men I became friends
with when I first came to the United States. They were and are some of my biggest inspirations
that motivated me to choose the path to the field of social work and specifically, macro policy.
Understanding just a specific set of people shifted my life and make it worth talking about, being
in a space where I am now comfortable to be in uncomfortable conversations, talk about topics
that are represented poorly in the society while engaging in self-reflection daily to check if my
biases are not controlling the decisions I make and within the interactions I carry. In addition, I
still do acknowledge that I do carry a caution when interacting with anyone, based on the
traumatic experience I have had when I was young, but I am not quick to judge someone before I
know them. This has been the hardest since some in my family circle still carries the idea that
associating with a certain group of people is necessary as they are dangerous, instead of
observing and understanding as to why they have established that mindset.
As I continue my journey through the cycle of socialization, I hope in time, I can help people
who have been exposed to biases based on trauma and fear, and instead, are open to exploring
both sides of the situation before making a decision.