TOPIC 3 SELF-ESTEEM
• Self-esteem refers to how a person feels about their personal aspects such as
appearance, abilities and behavior and also their experiences in what they do
well in life.
• It enables an individual to evaluate his or her self-worth.
• This is determined by how one values him or himself in terms of physical and
psychological status. How one feels influences his or her actions towards others.
This is largely influenced by the person’s socialization with family members,
friends, teachers, peers, and others.
CONT….
• Remember you have self worth in within you and
• you are worthy,
• you are of value
• and you are enough.
• Nobody should make you feel bad about yourself. You are of
value!
SIGNS OF HIGH/HEALTHY SELF ESTEEM
Signs of healthy self-esteem:
• Assertive (Boldness) in expressing needs and opinions
• Confident in ability to make decisions.
• Able to form secure and honest relationships, and discontinue unhealthy ones.
• Realistic in expectations and not overcritical of self or others
• More resilient; better able to endure stress and setbacks
Resilience- ability to recover quickly from difficult situations.
SIGNS OF LOW SELF ESTEEM
• All-or-nothing thinking. You see things as either all good or all bad.
• Overgeneralization. You assume that one negative fact or event creates a general rule for your life.
• Mental filtering. You focus only on the negative aspects of life, dwell on them, and magnify them.
• Converting positives into negatives. You disregard or reject the positive aspects of life. You make
excuses for your achievements.
• Jumping to negative conclusions. You assume the worst, even when you have no evidence to support
it.
• Mistaking feelings for facts. You feel stupid, lazy, or ugly, so you conclude that you must really be
stupid, lazy, or ugly.
• Personalizing everything. You assume everything negative has something to do with you. You take
inappropriate responsibility and feel inappropriate guilt.
THE COGNITIVE TRIANGLE
HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR SELF ESTEEM
• Adjust your negative thinking patterns:
• Search for shades of gray. Almost nothing is all good or all bad.
• Seek positives. Challenge yourself to find the positive aspects of life.
• Separate feelings from facts.
• Own only what’s yours. Don’t take emotional responsibility for others.
• Forgive yourself. Everyone makes mistakes.
• Take risks. New experiences are opportunities to learn.
• Encourage yourself. Give yourself credit for making positive changes.
• Avoid comparisons. Evaluate yourself independently. Don’t rely on the opinion of others or compete with others for your own selfworth.
• Use positive self-talk. Argue with your inner critic.
• Utilize positive affirmations. Make a list of your positive qualities and accomplishments, and use it to improve your self-esteem:
• Keep it in a handy, visible place. Put it in your nightstand, enter it in your phone, or tape it on your bathroom mirror.
• Refer to it when you’re feeling low. Remind yourself of your strengths.
• Read it regularly. The more you read it, the more you’ll believe it.
• Add to it regularly. This will heighten your awareness of new accomplishments and the positive qualities they represent.
• Accept your strengths. Take in compliments and celebrate your accomplishments.
IMPORTANCE OF HIGH SELF ESTEEM
You can be yourself- You accept yourself and you don’t need to wear masks to please other people.
- You also accept your strengths as your working on your weaknesses.
 You can accept disagreement- Everybody has an opinion about just everything. Therefore you are able to cope
with others as much as you are disagreeing with them. You agree to disagree without conflicts and tantrums.
 You do not fear uncertainty – You are able to be grounded with the fact that no matter what you’ll turn out okay.
You are able to articulate yourself confidently in groups of people.
 You do not need approval from anyone. You don’t need to pretend something you are not to be liked.
 You are more committed to your goals.
 You don’t feel the need to be perfect. You accept that you and others can make mistakes.