Read the passage below and describe the principal hypothesis, explain how it was tested and
identify a prediction, and one or more observations from the “study”.
Study: People Far Away From You Not Actually Smaller, Source: The Onion • Aug 22, 2013
PRINCETON, NJ—According to a groundbreaking new
study published Thursday in The Journal Of Natural
And Applied Sciences, people who are far away from
you are actually not, as once thought, physically smaller
than you.
The five-year study, conducted by researchers at
Princeton University, has shattered traditionally
Researchers say that, contrary to prior
accepted theories that people standing some distance
assertions, the subject stands at equal
away from you are very small, and people close-by are
height at left and at right, and does not grow
very big. “The data was irrefutable in demonstrating that smaller as he walks away from the camera
when someone standing directly in front of you begins
walking away, their body does not, as previously assumed, gradually shrink before eventually
disappearing entirely,” said Dr. David Pinard, lead author of the study. “Rather, our findings
indicate that they maintain their original size regardless of how tiny they may appear.”
This graphical representation explains
the research team’s central hypothesis.
“Indeed, people who are far away may, in actuality, be
larger than you are,” Pinard added. Pinard explained to
reporters that through the use of highly accurate
computerized measurement systems and advanced cameras
capable of photographing test subject at a rate of 2,500
frames per second, researchers were able to disprove the
long-held presumption that one is able to physically alter
the size and stature of any person by moving either closer
or further away from them.
“In what was probably our most telling experiment, we positioned two 5-foot-10-inch tall male
subjects opposite one another at a distance of approximately 800 feet,” said Pinard. “We found that,
though appearing no more than 4 centimeters in size to their respective counterpart, each subject
remained at their original height of 5-feet and 10-inches at all times. In the next phase of the trial,
the subjects began walking toward each other, and again, the results indicated that they were not
growing taller and taller at exponential rates with every step, but instead once again remained at a
constant height of 5 feet and 10 inches, with absolutely no variation in physical stature.”
The study has reportedly been met with some fierce criticism from both the general public and those
within the scientific community, with several experts staunchly maintaining that not only do people
get smaller when they move further away, but their voices also drastically diminish in volume to the
point that they can no longer speak.
Pinard stressed to reporters that the new discovery only applies to human beings who are far away
from you, as researchers have yet to test the theory on inanimate objects such as chairs, streetlights,
park benches, cars, or buildings. Pinard did confirm, however, that airplanes do indeed get
infinitesimally smaller as they fly into the sky.
Just in case this needs stating, this is NOT a real study. The Onion is a satirical publication.