Marriage in Islam
A lecture by R. Fatoni
December 2020
Three functions of human being
1. Khalifah: to replace the previous generation, to create the next
generation, and to be replaced by the next generation. (AlBaqarah
30-38)
2. Mu’tamirah: to build a dwelling on earth, to process natural
resources into useful products/services. (Hud 61)
3. Abdillah: to recognize God, to submit to Him, pe please Him, to
obey all his commands. (Adz-Dzariyat 56)
Partnerships between people
• In daily life, people collaborate to produce something (mu’tamirah)
• Schools (to educate people), hospitals (to promote health), companies (to
provide goods and services), etc
• The partnership/collaborations’ objectives is to provide services / products for
human being.
• The fundamentals of collaboration/partnership are honesty, trust , sharing,
caring.
• If the members of the organization/companies/partnerships/collaboration
share the value of honesty, trust, sharing and caring, they will achieve their
goals.
What is the greatest partnership in life?
• Marriage is the greatest partnership in life.
• Why?
• In marriage, man and woman collaborate, make a partnership to create
offsprings, khalifah (the next generation) to continue the existence of human
species in this world.
• Human being is the most sophisticated creature in the universe.
• Alqur’an mentions marriage contract (akad nikah) as miitsaaqan
ghaliidhan. (The great covenance, perjanjian agung)
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Alqur’an only mention miitsaqan ghaliidhan 3 times
An-Nisa 21 (marriage covenant/akad nikah)
An-Nisa 153 (bani Israel contract)
Al-Ahzab 7 (prophets covenant)
How to success in a marriage?
• Respectful
• Respect each other
• Respect the marriage (as miitsaqan ghalidhan), perjanjian agung.
• Honesty
• Honest to yourself
• Honest to your partner
• Trustworthy
• Trust each other.
• No cheating, no betrayal. Jangan berkhianat.
• Sharing
• Sharing the love, the joy, the happiness
• Sharing the wealth
• Caring
• Emphaty, to feel partner’s feeling.
• Take care each other, to know what are your partner needs.
Punishment for cheaters
• In Islam, adultery (zina) is one of major sin.
• Types of Zina
• Zina ghairu muhshon (pre-marital adultery)
• Zina Muhshon (extra-marital adultery)
• Muhshon: bound to a contract. A marriage contract. terjaga oleh sebuah ikatan
perjanjian. Ikatan perjanjian pernikahan.
• Marriage contract: mutually exclusive agreement of the groom and the bride for
sexual activities (in order to create offsprings)
• Punishment
• Zina ghairu muhshon: dicambuk 100x (beaten 100X).
• Zina muhshon: stoned to death (dirajam sampai mati).
• The betrayal to the partner is more serious crime, so no excuse.
• Jika seseorang tega mengkhianati suami/istrinya yang dulu dinikahi dengan akad
perjanjian agung dengan menyebut nama Allah, berkhianat dalam perkara yang
paling serius yakni hubungan badan dengan orang lain, maka orang ini pasti akan
tega mengkhianati siapapun di muka bumi ini untuk semua urusan. Maka ia
harus dikirim ke akhirat (dihukum rajam sampai mati). Kehadirannya di dunia
hanya akan menimbulkan keresahan dan kerusakan.
Nasehat
• Menikahlah.
• Niatkanlah pernikahan tersebut untuk menjalani agama Allah.
• Hormatilah akad pernikahan kalian. Jangan pernah mengkhianati pasangan
kalian, apapun yang terjadi.
• Rumah tangga adalah surga dan nerakanya hidup di dunia. Jadikanlah rumah
tangga kalian sebagai surga. Baitii jannatii. Rumah tanggaku adalah surgaku.
• Keharmonisan rumah tangga harus senantiasa diupayakan. Cinta harus
senantiasa dipupuk agar senantiasa tumbuh. Iblis akan senantiasa mengganggu
keharmonisan rumah tangga kalian.
• Jika sedang terjadi konflik, melunaklah. Berempatilah dengan pasangan.
Kedepankan musyawarah, Kembali kepada komitmen awal dalam rangka
beribadah kepada Allah.
• Ingat lima karakter:
• Respect, Honesty, Trustworthy, Sharing, Caring.
• Hormat, Jujur, tidak berkhianat, saling berbagi, saling peduli.