Table of Contents
Copyright
My Story
Biggest Misconcep ons of A rac on
The Difference Between Men and Women
You’re Being Brainwashed
The Una rac ve Guy
The A rac ve Man
The Body Language of the A rac ve Man
How to Approach Women
What Do I Say
What NOT to Say
Dry Talk Vs Emo onal Kick
How to Never Run Out of Things to Say
How to Touch
Girl Test
How to Kiss a Girl
How to Deal with Her Friends
How to Deal with Other Guys
4 Types of Guys
Body Language of a Woman A racted to You
How to Avoid the Friend Zone
Build A rac on Through Speech
Make the Girl Chase You
Exchanging Numbers
What to Text a Girl
The Date
Taking a Girl Home
Sex
The 2 Main Types of Girls
Stay Humble
Copyright
Copyright © 2018 by Max Smith
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be
reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by
any means, including photocopying, recording, or other
electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written
permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief
quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other
non-commercial uses permitted by copyright law.
First Printing, 2018
My Story
I would highly recommend you read this chapter because I have
made many mistakes throughout my journey that I regret. If you
avoid these mistakes, you will have more fun and close
relationships with the girls you meet.
Ever since I was a kid my family would constantly move out to
different areas or even different countries throughout the years. It
was usually because my dad found a better paying job. This constant
and frequent change of houses and school led me to become the
loneliest I’ve ever been.
Every 2-3 years my parents would decide to move out causing me to
always lose all my friends. Every time I had to change schools I had
to go through the awkwardness of making new friends, having no
idea where all my classes where and always being the “new kid”.
Even though being the “new kid” led to popularity, it never lasted
very long. Once I started to build my social circle and started to get
settled it was time to move to a new place again. And the cycle goes
on and on.
By the time I was 15 I moved for the last time to a British school. All
the moving around led me to easily make friends because of my
personality. I have done it so many times it became second nature
for me.
I wasn’t however popular by any means. In fact, I had very minimal
friends, I was a nerd, I loved video games, I wasn’t attractive at all
(super skinny, bad posture, terrible acne, bucked teeth), I was super
shy (I wouldn’t even raise my hand in class because I was so shy)
and I never ever talked to girls. My mind would go blank every time
a girl would start a conversation with me.
This all however changed when I met a girl from my school. I can’t
remember how exactly I met her but I just know we used to text
each other a lot.
We slowly started to talk to each other and she started touching me.
I was extremely shy so I never knew how to hold a conversation and
always blushed and froze every time she would touch me.
I would always give her compliments and she would show interest
back, I would buy her a massive box of her favourite chocolate when
she was upset, I basically did everything the Hollywood movies told
me to do to “get the girl”.
I would even leave my best friends to be with her to show her how
much I liked her. I even went as far as writing an apology letter and
hand delivering it to her door at 5 o’clock in the morning one day
when I upset her. Her house was a 45-minute walk, but that didn’t
bother me.
I would ask her if she wanted to be my girlfriend multiple times but
every time I asked she would change conversation or say “Give it
another month” even though I have been talking to her for over 7
months.
There were times where I had enough and I told her that “We
should stop talking to each other for a while” or that “We should
move on” even though I really liked her. All the times I sent her a
text like that she would ask me to meet her and when I did she
would hug me and tell me to not stop talking to her and trying to
manipulate me into staying in this weird manipulative relationship
(we were never an “official” couple by the way).
Long story short the day came where she said the words no guy
wants to hear… “We should just be friends”. I admit I cried over this
text but in hindsight I appreciate her because she has made me the
man I am today.
I just got heart broken by the first girl I truly liked and I was
furious.
I became a different person after this “brake up”. I started not giving
a **** and it felt awesome. I would talk to multiple girls and I
wouldn’t care what I said or if she liked what I said. I would tease
girls and make sexual jokes (even though I was a virgin), I wouldn’t
start becoming shy when girls would touch me and girls would
respond to me even though I was not attractive. I would rarely give
them a compliment and would never buy them anything but
somehow they would text me and confess their feelings for me.
I wouldn’t just talk to girls. I would make more guy friends as well
because I was so confident and start joking around with teachers.
Next thing you know I was one of the most popular people in school
which made more girls attracted to me (We will talk about why
later).
It wasn’t all positive experiences with girls though. I had my fair
shares of stalkers, really needy girls, creepy girls, girls that would
show up at my house, girls fighting over me, twin sisters liking
me…. When I tell you that girls will be chasing you, at first it sounds
awesome but you will slowly come to realise that it is not all that
great.
Within 2 months my phone would blow up with messages from
girls. I remember there was a time I had to talk to all the girls on
Facebook from my laptop because my phone would slow down. It
couldn’t handle all the messages. Remember the girl that broke my
heart? Well I used to talk to her 2 best-friends. They both admitted
to having feelings towards me.
It didn’t take long for me to get my first real girlfriend and she was
the hottest girl in school. She was a Romanian goddess with a
gorgeous face and a perfect sexy body. Anyone I came across would
tell me that she is out of my league and that I was really lucky to
have her. What they didn’t know though was that I slowly started to
not feel that attracted to her. She became very needy. She would text
me multiple times a day, she would want send me cringe photos
about “true love” and she wouldn’t leave me alone.
I was with my friends, she was there. I was eating, she was there. I
wanted to go to the toilet, she would wait outside. I hated it. I
realised something very powerful. I saw the same characteristics
she had on me, before I became good with girls.
What I didn’t realise at the time was a started to develop these
characteristic traits that made women respond to me. I later on
realised that they were called “Alpha Male Traits” and I saw a
pattern. Every guy that women would chase had these
characteristics about them. (We will talk about these Alpha Male
Traits later on)
I wanted to get even better with girls so I would search on the
internet for “How to get better with girls” and “How to become more
attractive”. I came across a very popular book called “The Game by
Neil Strauss”. This is when I got introduced to the world of pick up.
The book would talk about a man that goes by the name of
“Mystery” who was extremely good with girls. I wanted to be like
Mystery so I picked up his book called “The Mystery Method” and
watched every single episode of his TV show “The Pick-Up Artist”.
I started to try out “Day Game” as the pickup artists call it. This is
when you try to attract women throughout the day. Most of the
times it will be a girl or group of girls walking down the street or
they might be shopping / having coffee etc.
I had to walk to college and the only way of getting there is to walk
through a busy town centre full of shops. As you can guess, it is
always packed with women. I remember I couldn’t approach a single
girl for three days straight. Sometimes I would manage to get a
sound to come out of my mouth while I extend my hand to get their
attention but I would freeze.
I haven’t managed to talk to a girl yet because my anxiety got the
best of me, but that didn’t stop me from continuing to study
attraction.
At this point I had a rough understanding of what “pick up” was all
about. I didn’t however believe in some of the “techniques” that
where taught in the books I read but I decided to give it another go.
I went to the same shopping mall I had to go through to go to
college and I spotted a girl I recognised from college that I found
attractive. She passed me and I decided to use my new skills. I
jogged after her from behind and said “Excuse me” 3 times before
she heard me. As she turned around I realised that my mind went
blank. I have forgotten everything I have learnt.
By some miracle I managed to start a conversation with her. I
admitted to her that I found her attractive and I remember we
talked about the weather. (Don’t talk about the weather with a girl
you want to attract).
I managed to get her number. I went home and we texted each other
back and forth for a while until I gathered up the courage to ask her
out for coffee.
She agreed!
Turns out the day we were meant to go for coffee she didn’t want to
meet up anymore. I didn’t mind because I have done something that
I never thought was possible. I managed to exchange numbers and
almost go on a date with a girl I met on the street by doing and
saying the wrong things. Imagine if I used the advice given to me by
the books I have read.
That was the start of my journey into the world of attraction.
I started going out and testing every technique I learnt to see what
works and what doesn’t work. I would treat it as a game. Every girl
was a mini level for me to defeat so I can level up. Approaching a
girl wasn’t scary for me anymore because if I failed I can just restart
the level (Go to another girl).
All the success with women boosted my ego so much that I wasn’t
thinking straight. I ruined friendships, played around with people’s
feelings and was disrespectful most of the times. These are the
worst mistakes I made and I understand that now. I learnt from my
mistakes. Don’t make the same mistakes as me.
This book will teach you techniques to attract women. Whether you
want to attract the hottest girl in the club or the ugliest, NEVER use
these techniques for a bad purpose.
The Biggest Misconceptions of Attraction
I recently met up with a friend I hadn’t seen in a while. We were
discussing all kinds of topics. Cars, movies women. When the
subject of women and dating came up I asked him how his dating
life was going. His answer astonished me.
“I don’t have a dating life. Every time I try to attract a girl I end up
getting friend-zoned. I should just give up with women, I don’t
think dating is for me. If only I was good looking and rich, I could
get any girl I want”.
At that point I didn’t want to start an argument with him on why he
was completely wrong, so I changed the conversation into
something more pleasant. Let me tell you why he was wrong.
The truth is men who aren’t good with women are frowned upon in
our society. They are seen as the underdog and everyone feels sorry
for them. So what do men do? They find delusional excuses as to
why they can’t attract women. Those excuses are always portrayed
in a way that makes them seem like the victim so people can
sympathise with them. It’s never their fault. They believe that being
attractive to women is out of their control.
If they don’t find a good enough reasonable excuse they seem like a
failure. This makes them feel like society is constantly judging
them.
Men are constantly coming up with different excuses to cover up for
their failures with women. We are going to analyse the most
popular excuses created by men as to why they aren’t good with
women and why they are bullshit.
Excuse #1 : I’m Not Good Looking Enough
I must confess…looks DO matter to a certain extent, but not nearly
as much as you think they matter. Let me explain.
Society has created this imaginary grading system that tells us we
are only aloud to flirt and be intimate with people that have the
same “attraction rating” as us. In other words, you can’t find a
girlfriend or have sex with a girl that is “out of your league”.
If you have pimples on your face, weird teeth and have a big nose,
you can’t attract a hot tall Romanian with a six pack and a perfect
ass. Or so society wants you to think. I can tell you from first-hand
experience that you can attract hot girls no matter how you look.
Why? Because the guy with the pimples, the weird teeth and the big
nose was me. The hot tall Romanian girl with the six pack and the
perfect ass was one of my ex-girlfriends.
I am sure you have seen plenty of Hollywood movies where the
attractive guy gets the attractive girl while his less attractive friend
gets the less attractive girl. Let’s take Alvin and the chipmunks for
example. The good looking chipmunk flirts with the female good
looking chipmunk, the fat chipmunk flirts with the female fat
chipmunk and the chipmunk with the glasses flirts with the female
chipmunk with the glasses.
From an early age movies embed this misconception that we can
only attract people if they are “in our league”.
When people see an unattractive guy hanging out with a super-hot
girl, they think he is either rich and famous or he is gay.
Looks do give you an advantage with women but that advantage
only lasts for the first few seconds of the interaction. Women are
more likely to be open to interacting with you if you are good
looking because of the halo effect.
The halo effect is when we judge someone based on their looks in a
positive way. For example, when we see a hot blonde we
automatically assume that she must be awesome and fun and her
life must be perfect and “how could I ever talk to someone like
that”. Once you get to know her though you realise that she isn’t all
that perfect.
We subconsciously assume the best when we see good looking
people. We will talk more about the halo effect in a later chapter but
for now back to the subject at hand.
After the initial first few seconds, if you are the most boring guy she
has ever met she will not stay for long, no matter how good looking
you are. Physical attraction will not make you better at interacting
with women.
You don’t need to have the muscle tonality of a bodybuilder or the
face of a model to attract women. I know this because I have seen
countless good looking guys get rejected, get dumped, get ignored,
while the short guy with the big nose and the weird hair would be
flirting with 2 girls at the same time.
Let’s take famous rapper Jay-Z for example. Let’s be honest he is
not the best looking guy on the planet. If you don’t know what he
looks like search him up on google before you continue. He doesn’t
have a muscular body neither does he have the face of a model. And
yet he is married to Beyoncé, one of the hottest women on earth.
Beyoncé has a perfect sexy body and the model like face to back it
up. She is one of the most powerful and influential women in the
world and she could have any man she wants and yet she still
decided to marry Jay-Z, regardless of his looks.
I am sure you are familiar with celebrity Brad Pitt. Even though he
is one of the best looking men in Hollywood, he openly admitted to
not being able to bring a girl to his house when he first moved to
Hollywood. He wasn’t very good at talking to women.
If you are physically attractive the only real advantage that you have
is that women will be more receptive to you for the first few
seconds. If, however you aren’t so attractive you have an even bigger
advantage.
If you are in a club and you see the best looking guy approach the
best looking woman you would feel like it is natural since they are
both attractive. However, if a short ugly guy approaches the best
looking woman in the club your initial reaction would be “This guy
has balls”.
That is exactly what goes on in a woman’s mind when this happens.
If you are not so attractive and you approach a sexy hot blonde,
subconsciously the woman will think “Wow, this guy must have
balls to approach me. I am way out of his league”. Not being afraid
to approach hot women shows that you have previous experience
with talking to attractive girls.
The unattractive guy who approaches the girl seems 10x more
confident than the attractive guy who approaches the girl. This is
because in societies eyes the attractive man has “permission” to
approach the hot girl. The ugly guy however doesn’t have
“permission” since the girl is “out of his league”.
I understand you might not have a perfect muscular body. You
probably have a bit of fat and that’s fine, we all do. In a recent study
women preferred to be in relationships with guys that had a little bit
of fat. They make for a good pillow while cuddling in bed.
No girl wants to sleep on rock hard abs and muscles. It’s
uncomfortable. There are going to be times where a girl just wants
to enjoy a burger or a pizza with a guy. She can’t do it if the guy is
constantly anxious about his calorie intake.
Excuse #2: If Only I Was Rich
Every guy I meet seems to think that if your bank count number
looks like a phone number, you can attract any girl you want. If this
is one of your beliefs, then you couldn’t be more wrong. People with
this mind-set have the false perception that being rich will solve all
their problems, including being able to attract women.
I was walking down a busy street in the afternoon and a brand new
green Lamborghini stopped and parked right next to me. The guys
behind me started taking pictures of the car since they seemed so
impressed by it. They walked up to the guy and said “I bet you get a
lot of girls with this car”
His reply, “Actually I don’t”
They seemed gobsmacked and didn’t believe him.
Having an expensive car will not make women feel attracted to you.
In fact, most girls I have shown a Lamborghini to thought that it
looked like an ugly spaceship. If a girl isn’t interested in cars, then
she won’t understand the value of your car.
“Expensive, materialistic things will not attract quality women, it
will however attract gold-diggers”
I have a friend who was smart enough to invest in Bitcoin before it
became popular. After the rise of Bitcoin, he sold his share of it and
made a hefty profit. Since he made a lot of money he wanted to
show it by buying expensive clothes and an expensive car. He
thought he could attract all the women in the world with his Gucci
shirt and his BMW. The only problem is, he had no game.
He was extremely boring to talk to, had no cool stories to tell and
his jokes never hit. Whenever I would see him trying to flirt with a
girl I would see her cringe and her eyes would dart around looking
for help. The girls didn’t want to interact with him.
Girls don’t want your expensive BMW or your Rolex watch. They
want a guy they can have fun with.
The fact is that there are more guys in happy relationships than
there are rich guys. It is important to have enough money to
support yourself but don’t expect money to solve your problems
with attracting women.
Let’s take the example of Jay-Z and Beyoncé again. Clearly Jay-Z is a
very wealth individual having a net worth of multiple million
dollars…but so does Beyoncé. Money was not an excuse for Beyoncé
to be attracted to Jay-Z since she is a multimillionaire herself. She
has enough money to do whatever the fuck she wants. She doesn’t
need Jay-Z’s money.
I understand why guys would think that women will be attracted to
money. We humans always want what we can’t have, or what is
hard to obtain. A big some of money is very hard to obtain if not
impossible in most people’s eyes. That is why they believe money
can solve all their problems because they have never had some. So
they believe that when a girl sees a man that is part of the small
percentage of people with large sums of money she will be attracted
to him.
For real human connection and attraction to occur there are
multiple layers involved. It’s a process. A process money can’t buy.
Excuse #3: If I Was Famous I Could Easily Get Girls
I had this friend a while back who used to talk to a girl that was
completely “out of his league”. They were texting back and forth for
a while and everything was going good. He later on found out that
she was texting another guy. It wasn’t just any guy; it was one of the
most famous footballers in the country. I will not reveal his name
for privacy reasons.
My friend’s initial response when he first heard about the situation
was that he had no chance with this girl.
One of the most famous footballers in the country is texting a girl
he had a crush on. There was no way he could compete with him.
Nevertheless, after a few more days of them texting, the famous
footballer asked the girl out for a date and…
She rejected him.
Even though he was one of the biggest names in football she still
rejected him. When asked why, she said she didn’t find him
attractive. She thought he was good looking but not attractive. You
know who did go out on a date with her? My friend, who is nowhere
near as famous.
Why did she reject a famous footballer who clearly has good looks,
money and fame but agreed to go out with my friend who is just an
average guy?
The simple answer is that the characteristics I specified above do
not matter with attraction. The girl clearly didn’t prioritise fame,
money or looks just like 99% of the girls. They prefer men with
attractive behaviour. This is what this book is all about.
Fame gives you the same advantage as good looks. They make the
girl more receptive to you because you are famous but it only lasts
for the first few seconds of the interaction. Even if you are George
Clooney, if you aren’t conveying attractive traits towards the girl
then you are just another loser to her.
There is a way to make yourself seem more popular than you
actually are to attract girls. This is called high social value. We will
talk more about high social value later on and ow it will greatly
increase your attractiveness.
Whether you are famous or not you can still attract the quality girl
of your dreams. Don’t get caught up trying to act more popular than
you are, instead focus on meeting women and having a good time
with them.
The Difference Between Men and Women
It is very important to understand the main difference between men
and women. I know that they have many differences but I’m not
talking about the physical attributes or the different hobbies men
and women pursue. I’m referring to the different psychological
drives.
A psychological drive is a way what affects your thinking and your
actions.
Each sex has a different psychological drive. All humans have
different psychological drives at different circumstances. For
example, if you have just gotten out of a relationship your main
psychological drive will most likely be emotional since your heart is
broken and need the validation from other people that you are
“good enough” and that you will find someone else.
If you haven’t had sex in 6 months you will most likely be extremely
horny and won’t be able to control your sexual drives. You will just
want to fuck everything.
When buying an item whether it is a washing up liquid or a Ferrari
we always buy because of emotion and then we use logic to justify
our decision. People would buy the expensive brand of washing up
liquid because they have seen the advertisement for it a million
times. This creates a subconscious bond with the brand since you
have familiarised yourself with it. Then you use logic to justify your
decision such as “it cleans better” even though it may be the exact
same washing up liquid as the cheap brand.
Same goes for the Ferrari. No one needs a Ferrari. Everyone wants
one because of the emotions you think it will give you. You think
having a Ferrari will make you look like a God in the eyes of
everyone and that all the girls will beg to have sex with you. Then
you use logic to justify your decision such as “I want a car that can
go fast”.
Once you understand the main drive in women you will instantly
become more successful with the opposite sex.
Men’s Primary Psychological Drive
Men’s primary psychological drive is logic. What I mean by this is
that men want things to be laid out as clearly as possible.
Information needs to be given to them in a crystal clear manner.
They want a simple step by step manual on everything they do in
life.
I am not stating that men are logical 100% of the time I am simply
stating that logic is men’s primary psychological drive out of many.
Have you ever seen those advertisements where they promise you
to get women in 3 simple steps? I can tell you this is impossible.
There is no magic formula to pursuing women. You can’t just
magically say one sentence (or get a Ferrari) and expect women to
fall for you. This is simply unrealistic.
However, many guys fall for this trick because it sounds very simple
and clear to them. They are always looking for the easy way out.
Your primary psychological drive is what is keeping you from
becoming better with women.
Like we talked about earlier, Hollywood and society is brainwashing
you by giving you a false step by step manual on attracting a
woman.
The steps go as follows:
Find a woman that is as attractive as you. You must make
sure she is in your league.
Drown her in compliments.
Take her out to an expensive dinner. (The more money
you spend the more it shows that you are attracted to her)
Buy her an expensive gift.
And if you have been a good boy then the woman will
reward you with sex.
Most of the times men go through the “Hollywood Guide” (More on
that later) and still not end up getting the girl. This makes them
frustrated and wanting to give up on dating. They start to feel
lonely, alone and that there is no one out there for them.
Reading this you’re probably agreeing that that is how dating works.
You will soon find out that none of that is necessary for you to
attract women. The biggest misconception about dating is that
women “reward” you with sex.
Sex is a mutual thing. Both partners need to want sex for
intercourse to occur otherwise that is called rape. I strongly DON’T
encourage rape since it will land you in prison but more importantly
it could destroy someone’s life.
The “Hollywood Guide” suggests that the nicer and more gentleman
like you are to woman the more likely she is to reward you with sex.
After years of studying dating and putting everything I say into
action I can comfortably say that “The Hollywood Guide” is bullshit.
You should never use Hollywood movies as dating advice. We will
talk later about why being “The Nice Guy” doesn’t work and what to
do about it later on.
Woman’s Primary Psychological Drive
The most important thing to a woman is the way something makes
her feel. The 50 Shades of Grey series didn’t become popular
because of the great writing or the unique, intriguing storyline. It
became successful because of how it made women feel.
Women’s primary psychological drive is emotion.
Have you ever started talking to this girl through text and
everything is going well, the conversation is going smoothly so you
decide to ask her out on a date? You find the courage to do it and
you send her the message. You wait for what seems like hours until
she replies…until she finally does and agrees to meet you.
A few days pass and you are excited for your date so you decide to
text her again to make sure she is still coming. Only this time she
replies saying she “can’t make it”. You start wondering what went
wrong.
Well it is one of two options. Either she genuinely couldn’t make it
because something came up, or it is because her primary
psychological drive took over. What do I mean by this?
When you texted the girl after a good conversation her positive
emotions where through the roof, she felt good so she couldn’t wait
to see you. Those emotions faded away by the time you texted her
again. You weren’t the guy she had fun with texting, you were just
another guy texting her.
I’m not saying that women are always emotional and are never
logical. I am simply stating that their primary psychological drive is
emotion. It is there main drive out of many.
A woman is more likely to remember an event if she links emotion
to that event. For example, women will be able to remember an
event from 5 years ago based on how it made her feel whether it
gave her good emotions or negative emotions, she will recall that
memory.
On the other hand, men aren’t so good at memorising because they
don’t link anything to that event. They simply remember the facts of
that day.
Women love romantic movies along with gossip magazines and TV
series full of drama. They like them so much because it fuels their
emotional needs. In opposition, men watch movies for the
entertainment, for the laughs, for the jump scares.
Women love hanging out with other women because they get to
express their emotions. Women understand each other’s emotions
and can connect with them on a deeper level since they both have
the same primary psychological drive.
A man would rarely express his negative emotions in front of his
friends. If he does you know that something serious has happened.
Men are more likely to hold in their emotions until they are in a
private place. Then they will express it in private.
Sometimes there will be an exception where a man’s primary
psychological drive will be emotion and a woman’s primary
psychological drive will be logic. This is when a man will be
overactive to everything and will easily get emotional. The woman
however, will take action using logic instead of emotion.
When attracting women, you should always try to concentrate on
giving her emotions instead of making her like you. You offering the
woman value in the form of positive emotions is what is going to
make her strongly attracted to you.
This is where most guys go wrong since they believe that by asking a
woman the most generic boring questions that 99% of men ask, will
make her attracted to him. “What do you do for a living?”
Attraction is based on how you make the woman feel, not what you
are doing.
You’re Being Brainwashed and You Don’t
Even Realise It
Long before I discovered the secret art of seduction, my go to dating
guide was wikihow articles and Hollywood movies. Both of which
are a terrible idea. These articles and movies are embedding in our
mind that the way to a woman’s heart is by being nice.
Hollywood is brainwashing men into making them think that what
the movies portray as love is what it truly is. It usually ends up
looking like this.
Man takes a woman to an expensive dinner,
Man buys woman a bunch of flowers and gifts
Man drowns woman in compliments
If he gets lucky then he will be rewarded with sex.
I call this “The Hollywood Guide”.
There are so many things wrong with this mind-set. I understand
that I may be in opposition of many men’s views by making this
statement but after reading this book and taking massive action you
will come to understand that Hollywood has been lying to you all
along.
They are telling us that we need to win over a girl and that the
woman is the ultimate prize. And sex with a woman is a very hard
prize to achieve. The only way you can achieve sex with a woman is
if you are good looking, rich and famous or you simply get lucky.
We get brainwashed everyday by Hollywood, the internet, society,
our family. The advice everyone is trying to give us is ‘Be yourself
and she will love you for who you truly are’. I understand why
people would think that being nice and treating a girl like a princess
will make her like you. Being nice is not how you seduce a girl.
I am not saying you have to be mean towards women, all I am
saying is that women aren’t goddesses, you shouldn’t put them on a
pedestal. They are human beings just like the rest of us. Most men
get this wrong and treat woman like royalty. Then they complain
when they don’t “get lucky”.
If you stop treating women like they are above everyone else that is
when you can attract them. Listening to what society tells you will
not make you a womanizer.
I remember when I was socially awkward I would watch movies and
mimic what guys would say in the movies so I could talk to women
without freezing up. If I had pre-written lines, then I wouldn’t feel
the need to make up conversation on the spot.
None of them worked.
Right now is a very confusing time for men because all the odds are
stacked against us men. Let me explain.
Let’s take an average guy for example. We will call him Bob. Bob is
awkward around people and his mind goes blank around attractive
girls. In our society Bob is frowned upon and is constantly being
made fun of. He can’t “get the girl” so he seems like a loser in the
public eye. People feel sorry for him but don’t want to hang out with
him because he is social awkward.
Now let’s take a social guy for example. We will call him John. John
walks in the club and all eyes are fixed on him. He is never seen in
public alone and easily befriends people in a matter of minutes. He
is incredible with women and flirting seems natural for him. His
phone is full of messages from multiple women that are begging for
his attention. In our society John is labelled as “player” and
everyone thinks that he manipulates women.
This makes it very confusing for men since if you are really good
with women you are “manipulative” but if you aren’t good with
women and are seeking for advice then you are weird.
What would your friend’s reaction be if you told them you bought a
book that gives you the secrets of attracting women?
They would probably make fun of you because you need help with
women or they would start giving you advice on how to get women.
Let’s be honest in most cases their advice won’t be very good.
This backs up my point since a vast majority of guys I have met said
they are good with women and don’t need advice or try to give
advice to their friends (which usually turns out to be wrong)
because it is frowned up in our society to not be good with women.
If you think you know everything about women, that means you
know nothing.
As if that’s not enough men are deemed as evil creatures that just
want women for sex. I admit there are guys out there that just want
women for sex but that is a very small percentage compared to the
guys that just want to make deeper connections with people and get
into serious relationships. Trust me there are guys out there that
just act like big studs when in reality all they want is a girl to like
him and appreciate him.
Sex is a big part of a man’s desire for a woman. It’s not our fault, it’s
evolutions. This doesn’t mean that men’s primary focus is sex. Men
do love sex but so do women. It just isn’t socially acceptable for
women to showcase their sexual desires because it makes them look
like sluts in societies eyes.
Men are visually stimulated creatures which makes them become
horny faster than women whom are mentally stimulated creatures.
For example, a man can see a pair of breast and get turned on. A
woman on the other hand, can see the most physically attractive
man in the world and will still not get tuned on.
In fact, research shows that men think about sex roughly 19 times
in a day, compared to women who think about sex roughly 10 times
a day. That’s almost double. It is ok to think about sex, it is natural.
It doesn’t make you neither a pervert or a slut.
If you really want to be good with women, you need to be able to
comfortably think of having sex with them. In short you need to
desire women. If you don’t have a strong desire for a woman then
you won’t have the motivation to pursue them. Talking to women
will seem like a chore.
Men have a big misconception about women. They think that most
women are stupid, complicated and manipulative. This is far from
the truth. In fact, after reading this book you will come to realise
just how smart women are when it comes to attraction. They aren’t
as complicated or manipulative as you think.
Every action a woman takes; every word a woman speaks has a
much deeper meaning than what is on the surface. Men don’t
understand the deeper meanings or the sub-communications of a
woman, that’s why they tend to fail.
I admit there are some women out there that are manipulative. That
doesn’t mean that there aren’t quality women out there. We will
talk about why some women are manipulative later on.
Now that you understand why you shouldn’t listen to Hollywood,
society or wikihow articles it is time to discover what makes men to
attractive to women and how you can become “The Attractive Man”.
The Behaviours of the Unattractive Guy
It doesn’t take a change in physical appearance to make yourself
attractive. Like we said earlier physical appearance only helps you in
the first few seconds of the interaction. If you don’t have the traits
of “The Attractive Guy” then you won’t be able to attract the perfect
10’s.
In this chapter we are going to talk about the biggest and most
common unattractive behaviours most men possess. Many of the
traits I am going to talk about where part of me. When I see men all
around me with these unattractive behaviours I see a part of myself
in them.
The most important step to becoming your most attractive self is to
understand and eliminate all your unattractive behaviours.
Changing these behaviours will not happen overnight, it will take
time but in the end it will be worth it. You must first identify and
realise that possessing these traits will do you more harm than
good. I am not asking you to change yourself I am asking you to
grow as a person.
Neediness
The most unattractive behaviour I see many guys have is neediness.
Neediness is what will cause all other unattractive behaviours and is
the hardest one to eliminate. It is the core behaviour that will singe
handily kill every bit of attraction you create with a girl. You can be
the most physically attractive guy in the club but if you are needy
women will reject you in an instant.
Attraction is about the sub communications you project.
For example, if you text a girl and she doesn’t reply within 10
minutes what would you do? The Unattractive guy would send her
another text trying to get her to reply or even worse asking why she
hasn’t replied.
This screams out neediness since the underlying sub
communication is “I have such a boring; dull life I am sitting,
staring at my phone screen waiting for you to reply”. If you ask her
why she hasn’t replied back the underlying sub communication in
this case is “I am very insecure in myself and have no other girls in
my life that I need the validation from you”.
This might sound a bit farfetched but it is simple psychology. This is
what is happening subconsciously in a woman’s brain.
If you are constantly seeking her approval, it shows that you have
low self-esteem and you live life based on other people’s opinions.
It doesn’t matter if you’re rich, physically attractive or famous,
neediness will kill your attraction more than anything else.
Lives Life Based on Other People’s Opinions
Typically, guys will not show their true emotions in public since it is
more “feminine” to show emotions. Women are more inclined to do
this because like we talked about earlier their primary psychological
drive is emotion. A guy would do anything in his power to not cry in
front of other people, unless of course it is tears of joy.
Have you ever said a joke about a person in the group and in the end
that person takes the joke seriously and gets upset? That person
becoming upset has affected the whole groups vibe. Everyone will
feel down and sympathetic for the guy while you seem like the bad
guy.
You can immediately tell that this person is very insecure in
himself, which is an unattractive trait. He lives life depending on
other people’s opinions. When people say something negative about
him, instead of brushing the comment off and continuing being his
normal self, he lets that comment affect his mood and he becomes
upset. A truly self-confident person doesn’t get affected by negative
comments.
There is a saying which states that “You must love yourself first
before you can love someone else”. As corny as this might sound I
truly believe in it. You need to accept yourself for who you are even
if you are short, skinny, bold etc. when you don’t, you will
constantly be looking for validation from girls which in turn will
show them your neediness.
I’m a very weird guy and I’m ok with that because if you are normal
you are just boring. You are like everyone else. I have been called
weird by women many times. When that happens I laugh, agree
with them and continue being my weird normal self. That
interaction usually ends with me going on a date with the girl that
just called me weird a few moments ago.
My mind-set is always “This is who I am. Take it or leave it”. This is
very powerful because not only does it make you seem more
confident but it also helps you pass girl tests. We will talk more
about girls tests later.
If you are weird embrace your weirdness. If you are nerdy embrace
your inner nerd. If you love singing Justin Bieber songs, embrace it.
Do not let, not only women’s but anyone’s comments affect you. If a
woman rejects you, because you like playing Call of Duty do you
really think she was the right woman for you? I would much rather
have a woman that would want to play Call of Duty with me.
Buys Expensive Things Before Getting to Know the Girl
Buying things for girls may seem innocent at first but it is really just
manipulation. The media portrays the dating business as
manipulative. They think that giving advice and techniques to
attract women is a way to manipulate her into having sex with you.
Some dating books might give you manipulative techniques, not
this one though. The biggest form of manipulation in dating is
buying expensive, materialistic things for girls.
We have been brainwashed to think that we must buy stuff for girls
we are interested in. If you meet a girl in a bar you would
automatically offer to buy her a drink. If you are going on a date you
would buy her an expensive dinner.
I cannot count how many times I have seen a guy in a bar walk up
to a girl and the first thing that comes out of their mouth is “can I
buy you a drink?”. The typical response would be a “yes” from the
girl, making the guy think she is attracted to him. After the girl
receives her drink however she walks off and never talks to the guy
again.
You might be thinking “well if she accepted the drink that means
she likes me”. Completely wrong. People love free stuff. Girls at bars
and nightclubs love free drinks. If you offer a girl a free drink, why
the fuck would she say no. Even if you are the most unattractive guy
on planet earth, she will say yes. She wants the drink, not you.
What you are communicating subconsciously to the girl when you
buy her a drink at the bar is “I am not very interesting so I am going
to buy you something so you can stay”.
What makes girls attracted to you isn’t the money you spend on her,
it is the quality of time you spend with her.
I am not saying you should never buy girls things. If you are going
on a coffee date buy her the coffee or if you are in a relationship
with a girl for a while, you could buy her some nice jewellery.
However, you should never spend hundreds of dollars on your first
date with a girl. Stop trying to prove yourself using money unless
you want to attract gold-diggers.
Having a Quiet Voice
Your insecurities don’t show in what you say but how you say it.
Everyone wants to be the centre of attention, but how can you be
the centre of attention when people don’t even know you are there?
One of the most awkward experiences is when someone is
explaining something to you but you can’t hear them because their
voice is too quiet. So you ask them to repeat what they said to you
but still the same result. The only option now is to pretend to
understand what they said and nod your head as you smile, hoping
they didn’t ask you a question.
This person could be telling you the greatest story ever but since
their voice is so quiet you didn’t even hear it. He could be telling
you about the time he had a dance off with Michael Jackson while
Jesus came down from the sky and shot lasers from his fingers, and
you just nodded and smiled.
Speaking in a quiet voice shows that you are insecure about what
you are saying. When you don’t project your voice people don’t give
a shit about what you are going to say. Whatever it is you’re going to
say must be unimportant for you to not project your voice.
The unattractive man is constantly insecure which is why he doesn’t
project his voice. He fears of being judged instead of speaking with
confidence and volume.
When you are approaching a girl you want her to notice you straight
away. If you approach her saying ‘Hi’ in a very low voice, how is she
going to know you are talking to her?
If you approach her with a loud clear “Hey” she will instantly notice
you because she heard you. I am not saying you should scream in
her ears so she hears you but be clear and loud. Project your voice to
get her attention.
Doesn’t Take Risks
This is one of the hardest traits to overcome. Taking risks is
something that can’t be learnt from reading a book or taking a
course. You need to take action. Overcoming your fear of taking
risks can happen only through experience.
An unattractive guy always plays it safe. He won’t touch a girl in
case she doesn’t like it, he won’t say anything that has a slight
chance of offending her and worst of all, he never goes for the kiss.
It is too much pressure for him.
I was this guy before I discovered how much women get turned on
by guys who take risks.
It’s no wonder the richest people in the world are also the biggest
risk takers. Everyone wants to be rich but no one wants to take the
risk of losing money. They could have applied for a normal 9 to 5
job and have a secure career and income but instead they decided to
risk it all for a better life.
Elon musk for example created Zip2 (research zip2) and sold it for
305 million dollars. He didn’t save up that money neither did he
spend it on materialistic things. Instead he came up with an idea.
He disliked how banks took a long time to process money and was
difficult to transfer money. So he created his own online bank.
Very few people believed in his idea and that it would succeed.
Everyone doubted him even his investors. Elon musk could have
given up on the idea, and still have a few million in the bank but he
didn’t. He took the risk. He used all of his own money to fund his
project. Every single penny he had was used to create his online
bank, PayPal. EBay wanted to have PayPal for themselves so they
bought it for $1.5 billion.
If Elon Musk didn’t take a risk he would have been a multimillionaire, but since he took the risk he became a billionaire.
Unattractive guys don’t take risks because they want everything to
be safe. They like their comfort zone. Awesome shit doesn’t happen
in your comfort zone.
Next time you are talking to a girl and don’t know if you should
touch her or o for the kiss or even go for the number…do it. Take
the risk and go for it. You could have a great interaction and leave
just like Elon Musk could have done, and stayed a millionaire. You
could however take the risk and become a billionaire.
If you don’t kiss her then she doesn’t get that sexual desire because
you are not a very dominant individual. Girls like guys that take the
lead and that are sure of themselves. If you don’t take the risk you
will never know what could have been.
The main reason guys won’t take risks is because they don’t want to
screw things up and end up in the friend-zone. What they don’t
realise is that not establishing physical contact is what is going to
get them in the friend-zone. We will talk more about how to not end
up in the friend-zone later on.
Submissive Behaviour
Submissive behaviour is when you let other people and things
control you. If you are not in charge, then you are submissive.
When you don’t take action towards something you want and you
let other people determine what you should do, that is submissive
behaviour. This kind of behaviour will turn women off. Women
want a dominant man in their life. Men have always been physically
more dominant from an evolutionary standpoint. We are genetically
taller, bigger, have a more dominant voice.
The best way to tell if you are a submissive or dominant person is to
pay attention to your body language. The way you carry yourself and
your behaviours will subconsciously tell everyone around you if you
are submissive or dominant. We will talk more about how to attract
women with your body language.
Submissive guys are constantly asking for other people’s opinions.
Asking people’s opinions is polite. I recommend you do this only
when you are around your friends and family, not when you are
trying to attract a girl. You should always take the lead when
interacting with girls. It is a huge turn on for girls when you give her
reassurance and take the lead.
Constantly asking people’s opinions shows insecurity and
uncertainty. In some cases, it can make you look needy. One of the
neediest questions you can ask a girl is if she likes you. Not only
does this put pressure on the girl but it also shows signs of
insecurity.
Pretending to Be Someone You Are Not
There is no doubt about it, we have all met someone who is always
trying to be someone they are not. Whether they are trying to act
richer or cooler than they actually are, everyone has a slight dislike
for these people because they are not genuine.
I had a friend not long ago who would always try to act richer than
he actually was. He would tell everyone how he just bought a
Mercedes but he is waiting for a mechanic to check it and how he
had a sponsorship with monster and was making more money than
we could imagine and that his parents bought him a Rolex when he
was 2 years old. His stories got more and more ridiculous as time
went on.
People could see through his bullshit and so did girls, which made
them slowly lose attraction for him. When you pretend to be
someone you’re not it shows you are ashamed of who you are and
hide your true self to get the girls approval.
By showing you true self and your passions, even if they are not cool
will attract more like minded girls to you. If you are obsessed with
Call of Duty but you pretend like your too cool for video games, you
will never find a girl to enjoy video games with.
99% of guys out there think they need to be the “perfect guy” so
they put on a fake persona. They try to act cool and try to impress
the girl. Not only is this manipulative but women will see right
through your fake personality. A girl is much more attracted to a
guy that is genuine, it shows confidence.
The Filter
The one thing that is keeping you from attracting the perfect 10s is
fear. Guys fear what women can do to their “reputation”. If they go
up to a woman and get rejected not only will it hurt them mentally
but others around them will judge him, or so he thinks. So they try
to be the perfect guy and are afraid of expressing themselves.
Most guys when talking to an attractive girl, everything they think
of saying will go through what I call “The Filter”. This is when you
ask yourself some questions to determine if what you say will make
her reject you or not. ‘Is it appropriate?’ ‘Will she feel offended?’
‘Will this make her reject me?’ ‘Is this her kind of humour?’ and so
on and so on. Only if it passes “The Filter” will the guy say it.
“The Filter” is what will keep you from being able to talk to girls
freely. Unless you stop using “The Filter” and start living in the
moment instead of constantly trying to figure out what to say next,
you will never be able to have a good long interaction with a girl.
The reason we filter out what we want to say is because we don’t
know how to recover from bad situations. That is what game is all
about. The difference between guys that are good with girls and
guys that are not, is their ability to recover from a bad situation. For
example, if you say something that offends the girl you will most
likely freeze up and feel like a terrible human being. The girl will
leave you and now you are stuck there in the middle of the club
looking for another girl.
The man with game will be able to recover from offending the girl
and still manage to make her want to stay. He will be able to
continue flirting with her even though he just offended her. This is
why game is a skill and it can be learnt.
An unattractive guy will never show that he disagrees with a
woman’s point of view in fear of upsetting her. This is “The Filter”
taking place and stopping him from sharing his opinions. The
submissive guy will hold back his true thoughts which in turn
doesn’t give him the opportunity to offer anything of value to the
conversation. In reality, challenging and teasing a girl is the fastest
way to build attraction, not constantly agreeing with her and
filtering out everything you want to say.
The Nice Guy
We have all hear this label being thrown around and I admit I used
to be “The Nice Guy”, but it wasn’t my fault. Society is constantly
telling us that we need to be a gentleman towards the girl if we want
her affection.
We are bombarded with romantic films about love at first sight and
expensive dates, the guy opening the door for the woman, drowning
her in compliments, buying her flowers and necklaces and just
overall being nice to her. Usually by the end of the movie the guy is
rewarded by his kindness and has sex with the girl and gets in a long
term relationship with her.
That’s what I used to believe attraction was like until I got rejected
so many times that I realised Hollywood has gotten it all wrong.
When I read my first “pick up” book, I thought to myself “There is
no way these techniques work on girls”. I would read techniques
like ‘negging’ and ‘backhanded compliments’ where you give a
compliment along with an insult. For example, you could say to the
girl ‘I like your shirt my 8-year old sister has the same one’.
These techniques are outdated no. We are living in the 21st century
which is why I created this book. Most men’s dating books talk
about techniques that legends like “Mystery” and “Style (Neil
Strauss) used to use a decade ago. I have learnt more about women
from old school pick up books and applying what I learnt, than I
have from the internet or movies.
One quick search on Google on “How to attract women” shows that
the number one result is a wiki how article. If you click on it you
will be shown advice such as “listen to her”, “get to know her” and
“be a good friend”. This advice will land you in the friend-zone. The
whole point of the search was to learn how to not be friends with
women.
Nice is good for making friends, not for having sex and attracting
hot women.
The reason nice guys finish last is because nice guys are boring. To
attract a woman, you need to give her emotions of excitement and
adrenaline and sexual tension. You cannot achieve this by ‘being
nice’ and putting her on a pedestal.
Most women don’t consciously know what they are attracted to in a
guy. The truth is women are attracted to dominance. They are
attracted to guys that can give them a mixture of emotions and
make them aroused. They want a guy that isn’t afraid to take risks.
They want a real man.
When you confront girls and ask them what attracts them they will
say they attracted to kind, funny guys. If that is true why do we see
all the nice guys getting rejected left and right while the cocky, ‘bad
boy’ is getting all the girls.
If you don’t believe me then ask a female family member what
attracts them in a guy. I am sure the answers they will give you are
along the lines of “I want him to be nice, kind, funny, etc.”. Every
woman’s answer will be the same because this is what society has
programed them to say.
Women’s biggest fear is being seen as a slut and in today’s world it
is easier than ever for women to be slut shamed. Knowing the
power of slut shaming puts you ahead of 99% of the guys out there.
There is a difference between what women want and what women
are attracted to. What women want is the qualities a woman wants
in a guy she will enter a long term relationship with to have. What
women are attracted to is what qualities the guy has that turns her
on.
That’s why you should never ask for dating advice from women.
They will not tell you what qualities of a man gets her attracted to
him or turns them on in fear of being slut shamed. Instead you
should ask guys who are good with girls. We will talk about how to
become the guy women want in the next chapter.
You don’t ask the fish how to catch fish, you ask the fisherman.
Society has made us believe that all guys that are good with girls are
manipulative. If you are a guy that sleeps around often with girls,
then you are automatically labelled in societies eyes as a player.
Almost everyone believes that men who attract loads of women are
manipulative. This is far from the truth.
If you truly are good with girls and know how to attract them then
you don’t need to manipulate them. Women are intelligent, it is
very hard to manipulate them. Players don’t just go up to a girl, say
one line and POOF! magically end up having sex with them. No girl
has ever told a guy after sex “you manipulated me into being
attracted to you”
Manipulation and attraction are two completely different things.
What sounds more manipulative?
A guy that walks up to a girl, talks and flirts with her, has a good
time with the girl which in turns makes the girl have a good time
and then proceeding to have sex since they are both attracted to
each other.
Or
A guy walks up to a girl and buys her the most expensive drink at
the bar in return hoping for her approval. Then proceeds to agree
with her on everything she says so she doesn’t get mad and maybe
getting the reward of sex for being really nice to the girl.
“Nice guys” are the manipulative ones and there is one main
difference that distinguishes the nice guy from the attractive guy.
The Attractive Guys gives value in the form of fun. He is constantly
having fun and being himself. When approaching a girl his mind-set
is “I am having fun, I can offer you some of my fun. if you don’t
want it that’s okay”. This is what makes the attractive guy so
attractive. If you have this mind-set every time you talk to a girl and
get rejected, you will never get hurt.
The nice guy on the other hand is always taking value. He has
nothing to offer the girl so he is obviously talking to her to get
something from her, which is usually sex. The nice guy is always
suspicious. In the girls head she is thinking “why is this guy buying
me a drink when he doesn’t even know me?” or “why is this guy
being so nice to me when he doesn’t even know me?”. The answer
to both these questions are because the nice guy always wants sex
from the girl, and women can sense that.
In conclusion if any of these characteristics apply to you whether
you are a nice guy or are constantly worrying about people’s
opinions of you, there is always time to change. No matter how
many of these traits you possess you can still change for the better
and become the guy women obsess over.
You need to be honest with yourself and understand which
characteristics apply to you and write them down. Now it is time to
talk about what truly attracts women and how you can become the
man women obsess over.
The Behaviours of the Attractive Man and
How to Become Him
If I ask you to name a movie character that is widely known for
being a male sex symbol who would you think of? For me it is
definitely James Bond, more precisely the Daniel Craig portrayal of
the character.
What makes this character so attractive to women isn’t the way he
is dressed or that he drives an Aston Martin. It is the way he acts.
The way he carries himself, the way he speaks, his behaviour, his
attitude and many more.
You can become the attractive man even if all the characteristics we
talked about in the previous chapter apply to you. Even if you are
the stereotypical “guy who lives in his mom’s basement playing
video games all day” you can still become the attractive man. I know
this because that’s who I used to be.
Since the core characteristic of the unattractive man is neediness,
the main attractive trait of the attractive man is non-neediness.
Everything he does he does it in a non-needy way. That’s what
makes him so desirable.
He Isn’t the Nice Guy
There is a big misconception about the nice guy and the bad boy.
The nice guy is always portrayed as a weird, creepy, insecure guy.
The bad boy is always portrayed as this mean, handsome guy who is
horrible to everyone around him including girls.
This creates the illusion that you must act horribly towards women
to get their attention and affection. A truly attractive man is not
needy like the nice guy and is not a dick like the bad boy. He is his
own category. If you truly want to become attractive to women, you
need to stop being the nice guy.
He Compliments the Girl Appropriately
The attractive man never showers the girl in compliments then it
seems like he is putting her on a pedestal. One compliment isn’t a
problem but when you give compliment after compliment after
compliment the girl will be thinking “what does he want from me?”.
You must offer value to a girl in order to attract women.
Imagine you go to by a car and the salesman approaches you and
immediately starts complimenting you. “I like your shoes”, “That is
a very nice shirt”, “You will look perfect with this car”. You won’t
take the compliments at heart since you know he is only
complimenting you to sell you a car and make a few dollars. The
same goes for girls. Too many compliments will come across as
creepy and manipulative
The nice guy showers a girl in compliments expecting to gain the
woman’s attention in return. The attractive guy gives a compliment
expecting nothing in return.
Hot girls get complimented all the time by guys because that is what
everyone is telling them to do. The more compliments guys give to
the hot girls the more the will “like them”. Try limiting your
compliments to one. This will not only make the compliment seem
more genuine but the girl will appreciate it more.
You should never compliment a girl on her looks when you
approach her especially if she is really hot. Hot girls are treated as
objects in today’s society. If the first thing that comes out your
mouth when you approach a girl is a compliment, then you are
automatically the same as every other guy that tried to approach
her. We will talk more about how to approach girls later.
If you don’t compliment the girl subconsciously she will be thinking
“Wait this guy hasn’t said anything about how attractive I am. He
must not see me just for my looks”.
Not complimenting her and not giving her validation makes you
seem superior than her because you are not putting her on a
pedestal like every other guy.
Limit you compliments. Make them original and unique to the girl.
Something like “I love your tattoo” or “I like your style” is a much
more effective compliment.
He Knows How to Give the Girl the Right Emotions
The attractive man is constantly changing the girl’s emotions by
teasing her and challenging her. This give more depth to their
conversation unlike the unattractive man who constantly agrees
with everything she says.
Challenging and teasing her gives her positive and negative
emotions. The interaction with the attractive guy makes her feel a
rollercoaster of emotions which makes her attracted to the guy. His
questions and interactions are exciting.
The rollercoaster of emotions keeps the girl wondering whether he
actually likes her or not. This is what creates that “spark” between
the man and the woman. Even if he really likes the girl he will keep
that information to himself because admitting it too early on will
make him look needy and desperate.
We will talk more on how to give girls the right emotions through
teasing, challenging and storytelling later on.
He Spends Little Money
The attractive man doesn’t have to buy the girls affection in any way
shape or form no matter how rich he is. He understands that
attraction isn’t bought.
He spends very little money if not at all on dates with girls because
he knows that a date with a girl isn’t about the expensive dinner or
the surrounding. It’s about the quality of time they spend together.
His company is what makes the girl want to go out on a date with
him not the fact that she gets free food or coffee.
I have known many guys that try to manipulate women into
thinking they are rich just so they can “get a chance” at sleeping
with them. By not buying expensive things for girls you eliminate all
the gold-diggers from your life and only keep girls that are truly
worth keeping.
He Lives Life On His Own Terms
The attractive man is not insecure therefore he doesn’t get affected
by other people’s opinions. His mood doesn’t change just because a
girl said something negative about him. He just brushes the
comment off and continue to have fun.
He always has a carefree attitude because he understands that his
life is his own and he can doesn’t need people’s “permission” to do
what he wants. If he sees an attractive girl he will go talk to her and
since he is carefree and other people’s opinions don’t affect him, he
isn’t concerned about getting rejected.
When someone makes a joke about him, he won’t cry about it or
even get upset. He will either come back with another joke or just
smile and laugh about it. His carefree attitude portrays his
confidence making him irresistible to women.
A great way you can become more confident is to conquer some of
your fears and get out of your comfort zone. Do something that puts
the attention on you.
I remember I was at a college party and I really wanted to dance on
stage but I was so insecure about what people would think of me
that I asked advice from the most confident guy I knew. This guy
was overweight, had bucked teeth, read comics books all day, wore
glasses and needed a haircut, yet he still poured his heart and soul
into dancing on that stage and people loved him for it. By the end of
the girls would approach him instead of the other way around.
I asked him “How are you so confident?” he replied “Why the fuck
do you care what people think. Do what makes you happy”.
I asked myself why do I care what people think but I couldn’t find a
logical answer. I realised that it was all in my mind.
I thought that women judged you for being weird but I find that if
you are enjoying yourself and are amusing yourself then the women
would be attracted to you no matter what you are doing.
One Saturday night me and my friend where hanging out with some
girls and we passed by a pub which had a sign outside that read
“Karaoke Night on Saturday 9:00pm”. We both looked each other
and said we have to do it; we would regret it if we didn’t.
So we did. 2 hours later karaoke night started and we were ready to
go to the pub and sing in front of an audience. We were so scared of
going up on that stage but we knew we had to do it. We were about
to sing karaoke in front of a whole audience and two super
attractive girls we brought with us.
We went up on stage and we both thought “Fuck it we are up here,
might as well have as much fun as we can”. We sang the cheesiest
song we could think of. “I want it that way” by the Backstreet Boys.
We both grabbed the microphone and sang our hearts out. In that
moment we did not care about the people who were judging us or
how terrible our voice was. We were living in the moment. We
ended up taking our shirts off and literally “performing” the song.
We did the boy band hand movements and the spins topless.
The whole crowd roared and loved that we were so carefree, so did
the girls. The girls instantly became 10x more attracted to us, not
because we sang a cheesy song with our terrible voices but because
we didn’t give a shit what people thought. The girls started
becoming more flirtatious with us and we could tell that they were
much more attracted to us after the karaoke.
Cool shit happens out of your comfort zone. I suggest if you want to
gain more confidence karaoke is a brilliant way. You can go by
yourself or with a friend but I don’t want you to sing and dance like
there are people around. I want you to express yourself. I want you
to not give a shit. Pretend like you are in your bathroom by yourself,
people will love you for it because it rips them out of their reality for
a few moments. Your energy and happiness will be reflected on
them.
He Is Dominant
The attractive man rarely displays submissive behaviour. He is
dominant in all areas of his life and puts himself and the people he
cares about first.
I have noticed that when a man mentions he is a CEO of a company
women always look surprised or intrigued for half a second. What
makes CEO’s so attractive is that they are leaders. They are the
dominant ones in the company since they control everything that
goes on in their company.
Christian Grey from the bestselling book ‘50 Shades of Grey’ is
irresistible to women not because he wears a suit and is rich but
because he is dominant in and outside the bedroom.
He always pursues what he desires. If he sees an attractive woman
in a club, he will be the one approaching her. He won’t hesitate and
ask himself if he should. He wants her so he takes her. He would
never ask someone else to approach the girl for him, this is a very
childish thing to do and you should never do it.
Another way he shows his dominance is by taking risks that most
guys wouldn’t take. In our case he isn’t afraid to go for the kiss
because he doesn’t care about rejection. To the attractive man the
potential reward of taking the risk is much better than not taking
the risk at all.
His body language tells the people around him that he is a dominant
man which makes women subconsciously attracted to him. There
are many ways to show women you are a dominant man with your
body language. We will talk more about how to attract women using
your body language later on.
To become more dominant, you must start taking the lead. Even the
little things will help you slowly get the hang of being a leader. If
your friends are unsure of what place to eat you should take the
lead and say “we are eating pizza tonight” or whatever you think is
most appropriate for the situation.
Being dominant and being controlling are very different things.
Being dominant is being a leader. Being controlling however is
always having things your way. Be a leader, not a control freak.
He Expresses His Opinions Freely
The attractive man does not hold back on expressing his opinion
even if other people don’t agree with him. Sometimes he risks
offending the person he is talking to with his opinion but he
understands that you can’t please everyone and not everyone will
like him. An attractive man isn’t a people pleaser.
Women find him attractive because he challenges their opinions
and views, and teases them. They subconsciously pick up on his
dominant and carefree behaviour which in turn makes the attractive
man more desirable to them.
The fact that he doesn’t agree with everything the woman says
makes him stand out from 99% of guys. His teasing along with his
non-needy attitude creates attraction between him and the woman.
When you express your opinions freely, you have more interesting
conversations with women. You could be arguing with a woman
about cats because you share different views and the conversation
will still be more interesting than if you agreed with her view on
cats.
He Is Who He Is
What makes anyone attractive is them being genuine. The attractive
man is always genuine and never pretends to be someone he is not.
Even if he is having a bad day he will not pretend to be having the
best day of his life.
The same goes for when he is talking to women. If he is tired and
sees an attractive woman, he will approach the woman and straight
up say he is tired. He will not go up to the woman and pretend like
he has all the energy in the world.
Pretending to be in a different mood than you actually are is a form
of and women will definitely tell when you are not being real.
Women can read body language way better than men. Always be
genuine and embrace how you feel.
When talking to women don’t pretend to be someone you are not or
pretend to be in a mood you are not just to impress a girl. Be real
with yourself then be real with the girl. No matter how good you
think you can hide it a girl will sense that something is off which
will kill all attraction for you.
He knows that he is not perfect and that nobody is perfect but he
accepts his imperfections. I have seen over-weight; short guys get
good looking girls. How can this be? Because they embraced that
they are short or overweight. Then they understood that their
imperfection can’t be solved within the next minute so they
accepted who they are and move on.
I have a big nose and I used to feel insecure about it. I realised that
unless I get plastic surgery I can’t change my nose so I might as well
just embrace the fact I have a big nose. I approached a girl once and
as we were talking she wanted to see if I really was as confident as I
seemed so she tried to say something negative about me to get a
reaction.
“Your nose is massive” she said. I replied with “It’s because I lie a
lot”.
She laughed at the fact that I didn’t give a shit. I wasn’t insecure
because I realise that yeah I have a big nose and there is nothing I
can do about it. I ended up bringing that girl home and the rest is
history.
Don’t let your insecurities get the better of you. Think about what
insecurities you have and if you can’t fix them within 1 minute then
I want you to realise that there is nothing you can do about it.
People don’t notice your insecurities as much as you. If they don’t
like you for who you are, great because you can find people that do.
He Is Social
The attractive man is a very social person, that is part of what makes
him attractive. The fact that he has many friends or that he is
always seen with a few people surrounding him gives him an almost
celebrity like look.
He is definitely a person you would want to be around since
everyone else always is. We want what other people want.
Subconsciously when we see a large group of people around one
person, we want to be part of that group too. It sparks our curiosity
and makes you think “Who is that guy?”.
There was a time in my life where I had 6 dollars in my wallet and I
went out to have fun with friends. I paid 2 dollars for a bus and 4
dollars for a sandwich. I left the club having consumed 3 shots, one
vodka with an energy drink and a pint of beer, worth 30 dollars.
How? Social proof. I knew the bartender and all the drinks where
free for me.
Having social proof will not only get you free drinks but it will make
the girl trust you more when you are leaving the club together.
Social proof will greatly increase your attraction towards the girl.
We will talk more about social proof and exactly how to build social
value later on.
Being social isn’t a gift or something you were born with. It is a skill
you develop over time. Most people nowadays with their eyes glued
to their smartphones all day have lost the ability to socialise well.
There is one simple step you can take to become more social in no
time.
Talk to people every day.
Make sure you are constantly befriending and talking to people
wherever you go. It might seem like people will find you annoying
but they will be glad they met someone new, especially if you are a
cool guy.
Talk to anyone, it doesn’t have to be an attractive girl, it could be the
bus driver or a person at a club or even the staff at the coffee place
you buy your espresso from. Constantly find new people to talk to.
Meeting new people in our everyday lives will show you that it is ok
to talk to strangers. We are all strangers until you say ‘Hi’. You will
quickly overcome your fear of talking to people you don’t know and
you will slowly transition from normal people to attractive girls in
no time.
When people are out in public they tend to disconnect themselves
from the world around them by keeping their eyes on their phone
screen and their headphones plugged in their ears.
If you want to start a conversation with someone to befriend them,
you should always start by complimenting them on something they
are wearing or something they are doing. For example, compliment
a guy’s watch or a girl reading a book on the bus. Not many people
read books nowadays.
Socialise. Talk to people and you never know who you might meet
or how they can benefit you in your life.
He Can Make Fun of Himself
The attractive man always has a great sense of humour but what
makes him stand out is that he never uses other people as the butt
of the joke.
He always manages to make people laugh in a matter of seconds.
This doesn’t mean that he acts like a clown for other people
enjoyment. In fact, making fun of yourself in front of others can
make you seem submissive if done too often.
If you make fun of yourself the right way, it shows that you’re are
not trying to validate yourself. If you do it too much it will seem like
you are diminishing yourself and saying “I am not good enough”.
A good way to show that you are making fun of yourself is too add a
little smile or laugh about what you said to show that you weren’t
serious and are not taking yourself too seriously.
Whether you’re the funny guy in the group or you seem to always
be the guy in the background listening to other people’s jokes, there
is always room for you to be funnier. I owe most of my fast
comebacks and jokes to the comedians I used to watch as a kid.
My dream was to become a world renowned comedian and star in
my own movies and sell out massive stadiums. I would watch Kevin
hart and Louis CK and cry of laughter. I would think to myself I
want to be like them. So I started studying comedians to figure out
how they structure a joke and how they tell stories.
My dream of becoming a comedian slowly faded away. I am grateful
though because it left me with knowledge about comedy which has
greatly helped me on becoming funnier. With friends and with girls.
Many stand-up comedians are good with women because they
always have something funny to say, it’s their job. Take comedian
Craig Ferguson for example. He is constantly flirting with women
on TV and he is good at it because of his years of experience on
being a comedian. You will not find an interview where he doesn’t
make a woman laugh.
Everything he says that can be classed as sexual is subtle and he
always uses wordplay to keep his flirting mysterious. No matter
what the girl says he always has the perfect thing to say back to
make her laugh.
I strongly recommend you watch Craig Ferguson flirting with
famous actresses on his interviews.
High Social Status
I want you to visualise a club full of men and women. Everyone is
dancing having a good time in their own little groups. Then
suddenly a guy walks in the club by himself and a girl greets him
upon his entrance. After talking to her for 10 seconds he starts
walking to the bar only to be greeted by the DJ. As he continues
walking to the bar a group of girls and guys come and greet him.
Finally, as he gets to the bar the barman shakes his hand and gives
him a drink for free. At this point you are probably think “Who is
this guy?”. This is what women are thinking. He could be the
poorest, skinniest, ugliest guy in the room, but what makes him so
desirable to women is that he has social value.
Everyone knows him so in the woman’s eyes he is like a celebrity.
Even though he came to the club by himself unlike everyone else in
the club, women pick up that he has high social value.
He Has Experience with Women
I know you are probably thinking that women should dislike the guy
that sleeps around with a lot of women because he is most likely
manipulating them and he will do the same to other women. Well
people are like sheep. They like what other people like.
Many times people will buy things or like things because they get
popular, it becomes a trend. People are easily influenced by other
people.
If he sleeps with a lot of women, he is obviously desired by a lot of
women causing even more women to want him. You can replicate
this effect by establishing high social value in bars and clubs.
If you have a group of girls surrounding you at a bar, you will seem
more attractive than a guy surrounded by a bigger group of guys.
Women want what other women want.
He Is a Storyteller
A cool guy can easily stand out from the crowd by the way he tells
stories. Have you ever had someone tell you a story of something
that happened but gets it all mixed up? It’s horrible. He tells you
what happened then he tells you the location then he tells you the
people that where there and you just get confused and don’t
understand the story.
Sometimes he will tell the story wrong and have to start all over
again, other times he will give you too much information about the
story that doesn’t even contribute to the main story. I have had
experiences where someone starts a story and then changes
conversation halfway through.
The attractive man can tell stories effectively and with clarity You
should always start your stories with the characters, then the
location, then you tell what happens in order. You can sometimes
say the location first then the characters involved in the story.
If you want to keep mystery in the story don’t reveal the ending
halfway through your story leave it till the end. For example, if you
want to talk about the time you saw Michael Jackson in a club don’t
say “one time I saw Michael Jackson in a club”. Boring!
Instead you should say “A few years ago I was at this club in
Hollywood with a couple of friends of mine. As we were dancing I
noticed someone I recognised but I wasn’t quite sure who it was. So
I decided to start walking towards the person only to see them stop
to talk to the bartender. I wanted to get a closer look to figure out
who it was so I pretended like I needed to buy a beer so I can get
close to the bartender. I look over and I see…Michael Jackson. I
couldn’t believe it.”
That story was much more intriguing than the simple statement “I
met Michael Jackson”. It made the person listening to the story feel
like they were there and the fact that you didn’t reveal who the
mysterious person was made the same thoughts that went through
your head that night go through their head. At the end of that story
they would feel as if they were the ones who met Michael Jackson.
Another mistake I see when trying to tell a funny story is that most
guys don’t understand how to use punchlines. What makes us laugh
is when something is unexpected? You will not get a laugh if your
listener can predict what is going to happen.
Watch a few stand-up comedians and listen to how they structure
their stories and routines. There is always unpredictability which is
what makes everyone laugh. They also take their time telling their
story to create more suspense and build up to the punchlines.
Of course to be able to tell cool stories you need to have good
stories. You can’t have cool stories to tell if you always stay at home
and always stay in your comfort zone. Get out, experience things, do
things you wouldn’t normally do and you will have endless
interesting stories to tell.
If you are able to tell stories effectively and engage a woman’s
emotions by doing so, women will be so much more attracted to
you.
He Has Passions
Whether it is his work, his business, a sport or even video games the
attractive man always has passions and ambitions. When a person
has a goal, a passion or an ambition he has purpose.
What makes the typical “living in your mom’s basement, playing
video games” guy unattractive, is that he has no passion or goals to
achieve. He is stuck in his pointless everyday routine.
It does not matter what your passions or ambitions are the woman
will still find it attractive that you have passions. The least
interesting people are the ones who have no passions. Every
conversation with them is boring and you can’t truly connect with
them.
You don’t have to have the same passions and ambitions as the girl
to attract her. Everyone has passions but not everyone wants to
share their passion. This could be because they are self-conscious
about sharing their passions in fear of other people judging them.
For me, my passion is supercars. My love for supercars is
indescribable. Cars is a popular passion amongst guys so I can
connect with other guys easily if we share a similar interest. Most of
the times I will talk to girls about cars because I love sharing my
passion and girls respond to that, even if they have no clue about
supercars.
They see that I get excited and my face lights up when I talk about
cars which makes them light up and enjoy my company more.
People mirror each other’s emotion.
His Time Is Valuable
What makes something valuable is the limited supply of it. What
makes Black Friday so valuable to us is the fact that it only comes
once a year. Not only is the day limited but so is the stock of
products. A Rolex from 50 years ago can be sold for 5 times the
price of a brand new Rolex. Why? Because the brand new Rolex’s
are made every day whereas a Rolex from 50 years ago is rare and
limited.
Anything can become valuable as long as there is limited supply or
is hard to get. Let’s say there are 2 pieces of paper. One piece of
paper is your normal, average piece of paper from a normal tree.
The other piece of paper is from a specific type of tree. There are
only 30 trees of this specific type and it only grows in a very specific
part of Africa. This makes the seconds piece of paper way more
valuable even though they are both just paper.
What makes an attractive man so valuable? The answer is his time.
Guys who are always available are way less attractive than guys who
are busy most of the times. The fact that the attractive guy is busy
shows that he has an interesting life.
Since he has little time available, he is perceived as more valuable
and the time you spend with him is more valuable than if he was
available at any time. If you want to become more interesting, have
a more interesting life you can make your free time more valuable
by getting a hobby.
Exercising is a great way to make yourself busier plus, it makes you
healthier. Also get a hobby that you will enjoy, it could be anything.
If your hobby is sketching get a course on how to sketch human
faces, if your hobby is football go out and play football or become
part of your local team. Try to always keep learning to keep yourself
busy.
If you didn’t have your hobby you would have most likely be at
home wasting your life away and worrying about things that you
shouldn’t worry about. If you limit your free time you wouldn’t
spend it with a girl you are not attracted to creating abundance in
your life therefore attracting more girl to you, since you will be less
needy.
His Voice
An attractive man isn’t afraid to express his opinions therefore his
voice is always attention grabbing and clear. He doesn’t shout but
he speaks in a high enough volume to grab your attention and keep
your attention.
If you ever see videos of people giving a presentation or have ever
been to a presentation or seminar, you know that it doesn’t really
matter what the presentation is about, it’s about how the person
presents it. If the presenter has bad body language and a low voice
not only will you not hear anything he is saying you wouldn’t get
anything out of the presentation.
He Never Judges Others
Judging isn’t a way to show you are better than someone else, it is
simply a way to show your insecurities. By being critical of other
people’s behaviours or looks you only project what you are not
happy about on yourself.
Judging is a way for toxic people to feel better about themselves. It
is a selfish thing to do. Instead of judging people look at their
positives and even compliment them on their positives. This way
you have a positive mind-set and might be able to make a new
friend. This will make you seem like a much more confident and
charming person.
He Admits to His Mistakes
What makes a man seem more confident and in control of himself
is admitting to his mistakes. This is one of the hardest and rarest
qualities you will find on anyone.
People hate being wrong and even when they are told they are
wrong or proven so, they still try to play it off like they were right all
along. Very rarely will people admit to their mistakes.
My mum for example will never admit to her mistakes. She will
either play the role of the victim or she will try to play it off like it’s
no big deal. In short, she always uses excuses to cover up her
mistakes. This is what most people do.
You are to blame for most things happening in your life and only
you can control whether you will take full responsibility for your
mistakes or whether to blame it on someone else and make yourself
feel better.
An attractive man always admits to his mistakes and never blames
other people for his problems. This shows that he is a very positive
and independent person which is attractive to women.
I suggest you start becoming a self-blamer. Ever since I started to
see that I was the reason most of the things in my life weren’t
working I started to become a happier person because I figured out
that I was in control, nobody else.
It wasn’t destiny that I was single and had no girls in my life, it was
the fact that I stayed at home all day playing video games instead of
going out and meeting girls. It wasn’t god that made me poor, it was
the fact that I had no job and wasn’t doing anything to get a job.
Blame yourself and start admitting to your mistakes. If you want
things to change in your life you must take action. If you want more
money you need to be willing to put in the work. If you want a job
you shouldn’t give your CV to 5 places expecting an answer, you
should give it to 30 places.
If you want more girls in your life you need to get off your butt, go
out and approach girls. Stop blaming everyone else for your inability
to attract women. Once you finish this book you will have all the
knowledge on attracting women you will ever need. You will not
have any excuse to hold you back.
In conclusion, no matter what type of guy you are “The Submissive
Guy, The Unattractive Man or The Nice Guy” you can become more
attractive. It won’t be easy and it won’t be fast but it will be worth it.
If you start implementing attractive behaviours to your character,
you will start to attract more women that you could possibly
imagine.
The Body Language of the Attractive Man
Body language attributes to roughly 70% of all communication.
Most people don’t know how to read body language but their
subconscious mind does. Have you ever met someone but had a
feeling that something about them was off? That was because their
body language didn’t reflect what they were saying.
If you saw a man walking down the street with his head held up
high, his walk full of energy and his chest pumped out you would
think “This guy looks so confident”. That is what women are
thinking.
Your body is constantly reflecting what you are truly thinking. In
this chapter I will not go in depth about every little gesture means.
You can read books on body language for that and I strongly
recommend you do so. I will be talking about how to attract more
women using body language and how to control your thoughts and
feelings by adjusting your body language.
Holds Strong Eye Contact
I put eye contact at the top of the list since I think it is the most
important. People that don’t study body language will not look at
your feet or how your arms are placed but they will definitely notice
your eyes.
When I was struggling with girls I also used to struggle with holding
eye contact, not just with girls but with everyone. It was very
difficult for me. It felt awkward and uncomfortable. I just wanted to
look away. Whenever I tried to hold eye contact my eyes would start
to tear up which was even more embarrassing.
Girls can instantly tell how confident you are based on the amount
of eye contact you give to them. Your eye contact signifies your
dominance. When guys approach an attractive girl, they get nervous
so their eyes start to dart around all over the place. This shows the
girl that you are shy and insecure. Girls are attracted to dominance
and confidence. If you want to show you’re a dominant, attractive
guy you must hold eye contact with the girl.
If your eyes dart around when talking to girls, you will come off as a
bit creepy. Imagine if someone came up to you and asked if you
could spare some change but his eyes where constantly darting
around. It will cause you to get suspicious of him and end up not
giving him money.
No matter how good you think you can portray confidence, if you
don’t hold eye contact with the girl, you are subconsciously showing
her your nervousness. You can say the perfect thing and she could
be turned on but once she picks up on your fidgety eye contact, she
will want to avoid you because you will seem creepy and weird.
Women don’t want to be around nervous, shy, creepy looking guys.
They want a self-confident man and what better way to show your
confidence than using strong eye contact.
When a girl looks at you, you will feel the urge to look away because
that is what you have been socially conditioned to do. DON’T. Hold
strong eye contact for at least 3 seconds then look away. I know 3
seconds seems like a lot and it can guarantee you it will feel like
hours. In the end it will be worth it because the girl will not be able
to stop looking at you.
I am not saying you should glue your eyes on the girl eyes and never
look away. Don’t do that. That will raise her creep-o-meter and you
will make her feel super uncomfortable.
Try turning eye contact into a habit. At the start you will feel very
uncomfortable but over time you will become better and better at it.
Open Body Language
Another way to see if a guy is submissive or dominant is to see if his
body language is closed or open. Closed body language is when you
feel uncomfortable and you are protecting yourself. Open body
language is more inviting which makes you more likable.
Examples of closed body language:
Bad posture (Hunched shoulders)
Crossed arms
Minimal, fidgety eye contact
Head Down
Examples of open body language:
Good posture (Shoulders apart, straight back)
Open arms, revealing the chest area
Strong eye contact
Head and chin up
Bad posture is when you are hunched over otherwise known as nerd
neck, or your shoulders are curling up. This makes you seem
smaller and less dominant. An attractive man stands up straight
with his shoulders far apart. He keeps his head straight and chin up.
It shows self-confidence and dominance.
When you cross your arms it is subconsciously communicating to
others that you don’t want anyone to talk to you. Your arms create
an invisible barrier in a way, that is saying you want to be alone
right now. If you ever picture a person getting mad or disappointed,
you will most likely picture them with their arms crossed.
From an evolutionary standpoint we cross are arms when feeling
threatened because that way we protect our chest. Our chest
protects the most vital organs in our body. Our arms act as a second
shield for protection of our most important organs.
The attractive man exposes his chest which makes him
subconsciously seem more inviting and non-threatening. When you
are talking to girls try to keep your arms away from your chest.
Women will pick up on your inviting body language which will
make them more receptive to you.
Space
The way apes show their dominance is by taking up as much space
as possible. This is also true for humans. You can tell the “Alpha
Males” from the “Beta Males” by the amount of space they take. The
more space they take the more dominant they are.
When submissive guys have closed body language they
automatically take as little space as possible. When The Attractive
Man has open body language, he automatically takes up more space.
No matter how good you are at noticing your body language flaws,
there are always going to be times where you slip up, and that’s fine.
You can’t always control your body language because it is part of
your subconscious brain. Your body language reacts faster than your
brain can stop it.
Body language is so important that if you fake it for long enough,
your brain will alter your feelings based on your body language.
I was recently watching a documentary on body language that tested
this theory out to see if faking your body language actually affected
your confidence. They decided to create a study.
They gathered 10 volunteers and split them into 2 groups consisting
of 5 members for each group. Both groups where going to bungee
jump for the first time. The only difference being there body
language before the jump.
The first group went up and all 5 members stood on the edge of the
surface ready to bungee jump. They were asked to curl up into a ball
on the floor for 2 minutes. So they did. After the 2 minutes was over
they were asked to jump whenever they felt comfortable.
Then the second group was asked to come up but instead of curling
up in a ball for 2 minutes they were asked to stand straight, chin up
and their hands spread out created a “V”. They recreated the pose
rocky made when he reached the top of the stairs. After 2 minutes
of standing in that pose they were asked to jump whenever they felt
comfortable.
The results? The people who held their hand in a “V” pose jumped
twice as fast as the people who curled up in a ball. This is because
their body language was associated with their confidence. The “V”
pose expressed confident open body language while curling up
expressed closed insecure body language.
If you fake your body language long enough your confidence and
emotions will adapt based on your body language. If you portray the
body language of the attractive man when you are in public, not
only will girls be more receptive and attracted to you, you will also
feel more confident and powerful.
Stand up straight, walk with confidence and keep your chest
exposed.
How to Approach Women Without Being
Creepy
Now that you have familiarized yourself with what women find
attractive, it is time to start approaching some women.
Society tells us that the way to meet the woman of our dreams is
either through work or social circles. The harsh reality is that
sometimes guys aren’t attracted to the girls in their social circles.
This leaves you with a very limited option of girls to choose from. It
is hard to meet “the one” when you can only choose between 10
women.
What happens when you date a girl in your social circle or work and
it suddenly doesn’t start working out and you break up or stop
dating? Work will be extremely awkward and so will some of your
friendships.
Approaching Girls Throughout the Day
The PUA’s (Pick Up Artists) refer to approaching women
throughout the day as “Day game”. Day game is an hour or so
session where guys specifically go out to meet women. I dislike this
mentality.
Guys should talk to girls throughout the day because they want to
not because it’s the session where they’re supposed to talk to girls.
When you devote an hour of your day to go out and talk to girls you
are preparing yourself on what to say and how to act and you dress
appropriately. What happens when you go to grab a coffee in the
morning, haven forgotten to brush your teeth and your hair is all
messed up, and suddenly see a girl you want to talk to?
You will freeze up and start to make excuses like “It’s not my
session so I don’t have to talk to her” or “I forgot to brush my
teeth”. You need to be able to attract women no matter what the
situation. Whenever I approach a girl throughout the day whether it
is at the bus stop or at a shop I do it because I genuinely find her
attractive, not because it is the time to do so.
If you are an absolute beginner, you might think “I will go out for an
hour and talk to as many girls as I can to get over my fear and start
getting good at approaching”. The only problem is that because you
are a beginner, it will be scary and since you are forcing yourself to
approach girls.
The first time you will ever feel the want to approach a girl, you will
feel the urge to procrastinate. You will feel like your heart is about
to explode out of your chest, your whole body will start shaking, you
will start to come up with excuses as to why you shouldn’t talk to
the girl and in the end if you let fear take over you will not talk to
the girl. At that very moment you decide whether you want your life
to change by approaching the girl or whether you want to stay as
you are now.
Even if you get rejected you will feel amazing. You will have
conquered one of the biggest fears men have. You will have done
what 99% of men would never dare to do.
Things You Should Never Do
You should never wolf whistle at a girl. It is one of the lowest selfesteem thing you could possibly do. Nothing screams neediness
more than a wolf whistle. Not only are you harassing the girl and
making her feel really uncomfortable, you are also making yourself
look like a wimp. What you are telling the girl when you wolf
whistle at her is “I don’t have the confidence to talk to you so I am
going to make weird noises at you in hopes of you noticing me”.
One more thing. Before you approach the girl or as you are
approaching the girl, make sure you take your sunglasses off. When
people can see each other’s eyes it builds a layer of trust. If you keep
them on it will feel like you are hiding something. They say that the
eyes are the windows to your soul. Also it is awkward talking to
people with sunglasses because you don’t know where they are
looking. Just take your glasses off and when you have built trust
with the girl you can put them on.
Now that that is out of the way it is time to learn exactly how to
approach girls without seeming like a creep.
The 3 Second Rule
One of the “Greatest pick up artists” named Mystery, or otherwise
known as Erik Von Markovik, came up with the 3 second rule. The
basic premise of this rule is that you have 3 seconds from noticing
an attractive girl to get her attention. If you don’t manage to get her
attention by talking to her or making her notice you then fear will
take over and you would most likely lose the courage to talk to her.
For example, you are sitting at a coffee shop by yourself on your
laptop and a girl sits on the table next to you by herself, the moment
you notice her if you don’t say hi or even get her attention by asking
her a question or making a statement within three seconds, you
most likely never will. You will never see that girl ever again.
I strongly believe in the 3 second rule and it has worked for me an
endless amount of times. if you are a beginner and you have never
talked to a stranger before, you must apply the 3 second rule in
order to get over your fear. If you let the 3 seconds pass you will feel
the need to procrastinate and you will start to come up with excuses
as to why you can’t talk to the girl.
Not only does it help you overcome your fear of approaching, it also
makes you look less creepy. Let’s say you notice a girl sitting on the
table next to you at a coffee shop. You made eye contact and she
reciprocated. 10 minutes pass and you are still trying to find the
“perfect moment” to approach. Another 5 minutes pass and you
finally build up the courage to approach. No matter what you say, to
her you will seem insecure and shy. Even if you portray confident
body language, she knows that it took you 15 minutes to build up
the courage to talk to her. She knows that you are most likely shy
and insecure and don’t have experience with women.
As you slowly progress through your journey of attracting women,
you will gain more experience and will not need the e3 second rule.
For beginners though this rule is vital.
The only situation where the 3 second rule always applies is when a
girl is walking past you. If you don’t “open” her within the 3 seconds
of her passing you, you will end up chasing after her which leads on
to my other point.
Never Approach from Behind
The creepiest thing you can do is approach a woman from behind. It
may seem innocent at first but the girl definitely doesn’t share the
same opinion as you. The fact that you are behind her and you want
to get her attention seems extremely creepy and makes you look
like a stalker. In her mind you have been following her.
If you are facing a girl back and try to talk to her there is a very high
chance she will ignore you because she doesn’t know you are talking
to her. Always approach her from the front or the side. You can
always extend your hand in a way to get her attention. This is
especially effective if the girl is wearing headphones or can’t hear
you for whatever reason.
My first ever approach was when I was in college. I found a girl on
campus attractive. I would see her around but I didn’t know who
she was and she didn’t know me. One day I was waiting for my
friend outside college and out she came. She walked past me and
started heading home.
I made a decision to approach her because if I didn’t do it then and
there, I don’t think I would have ever done it.
I started jogging behind her to catch up and I said “Excuse me”. She
kept on walking, no response. I started jogging a bit faster and said
“Excuse me” one more time. Again no response. Finally, after
shouting excuse me for the third time she turned around and
acknowledged me.
At that time, I thought I was the shit. I managed to get her
Instagram and I texted her but I had no game. We never ended up
meeting and I couldn’t understand why. Now that I look back on I
realise that to her I was a creep that was chasing her, literally. I’ve
made other multiple mistakes but I ruined my chances before I
even started, by approaching her from behind.
Play it safe, never approach from behind. If it just so happens that a
girl walks past you and you want to talk to her, act straight away and
walk in a faster pace than her to catch up. NEVER run.
When you finally do catch up to her walk a step or two in front of
her and then start talking to her or “open” her. This guarantees you
get her attention plus it will subconsciously seem like she is
following you, since you are ahead of her even if it is just a foot.
Never Touch On Approach
Touching a girl before you have even opened your mouth to speak
to her will raise her creep-o-meter sky high. Nothing screams creep
more than a random guy touching you. You might feel the urge to
do so if she is wearing headphones but trust me it is a horrible idea.
If there is no other way to get her attention and you must touch her
then just tap her on the shoulder. Don’t try to touch an intimate
area. A tap-tap on the shoulder should do it.
If you touch the girl and approach from behind, this will get you
rejected faster than anything. The girl’s initial response upon your
touch will be “someone is trying to rob me”. The last thing you want
is for a girl to start screaming in public because of you.
Women nowadays have been sexualised and most guys see them as
sexual objects. It is very wrong and women feel uncomfortable. If
you go out in public and you are with a group of guys and an
attractive woman passes you I guarantee you she will feel
uncomfortable.
Look Friendly
When you first start approaching women, you are going to be
nervous, and that is just fine. But if you approach a woman and you
show that you are nervous, you will freak her out and seem a bit
creepy.
Keep your nerves to yourself and don’t project them through your
body language. That means no fidgeting movements or eye contact
when approaching a girl. These are signs of nervousness that will
make her suspicious of you.
The girl isn’t going to think “Aww this guy is nervous; I’m going to
give him a chance”.
Instead approach with confidence and a smile on your face. Not a
creepy big smile. A genuine smile. The girl will be attracted to your
confidence much more than your nervousness.
Looking as friendly as possible means hands out of your pockets. I
don’t care how cold it might be. If a girl sees a random guy
approaching her with his hands in his pockets she is going to think,
he is carrying a weapon.
Girls Defence Mechanism
It sounds ludicrous that a girl will assume that you have a knife or
want to do her harm just because your hands are in your pockets
but it is true. Deep down we all do this and it is called our defence
mechanism.
Our defensive mechanism is an invisible shield we put in front of us
to protect us from potential threats. If for example a guy approaches
a girl, automatically the girls defence mechanism takes action.
Her thoughts are “Who is this guy”, “What does this guy want”, “He
is drunk”, “He is weird”, “He is a danger”. When a stranger approach
us, we always assume the worst because of evolution. We are
protecting ourselves until we are sure that the stranger isn’t a
threat.
It is perfectly normal for a girl to not be responsive to you within
the first few minutes of the interaction. It is because she always
assumes the worst about you because her defensive mechanism is
still active. She doesn’t know you’re a cool, funny guy. It is your job
to lower her shield so you can have a normal conversation with the
girl.
I see many guys get discouraged when a girl doesn’t respond to
them within the first minute of the interaction so they think the girl
doesn’t like them. How is a complete stranger meant to like you and
know how cool of a guy you are in 1 minute?
What you need to do is lower the girls defensive shield and you can
do this with one simple sentence.
Statement of Empathy
This technique I am about to teach you is the most important
technique I have learnt throughout my years of studying dating. Out
of all the techniques and lines and advice I have read and learnt
throughout the years and implemented, this is by far the most
important I have learnt.
A statement of empathy is when you acknowledge the situation.
That’s it. If you say something that acknowledges the situation, you
are not weird anymore. It’s so simple yet so powerful.
Examples of statement of empathy:
“I know this is weird but…”
“I know this might be awkward but…”
“I know this is unusual but…”
“Don’t worry I’m not a creep…”
“I promise I’m not a stalker”
I learnt this technique through one of the best dating coaches I
know, RSDMax. He is a dating coach at Real Social Dynamics and I
strongly recommend you check him out. If it wasn’t for RSDMax I
wouldn’t be as good as I am with women now. There have been
many dating coaches that have helped me but with Maximillian
women and dating was made so much easier to understand.
Adding a statement of empathy to your conversation is what will
separate you from the weird creepy guy. Just by saying one sentence
you can greatly increase your attractiveness, destroy the girls
defence mechanism and get the girl to open up to you.
The mistake guys make is they approach a woman and the first
thing that comes out of their mouth is a compliment. This is
suspicious behaviour because it seems like you are trying to sell
something to the girl. It is as if you are complimenting her to get on
her good side. Then they seem upset that the girl isn’t opening up to
them.
Einstein once said, insanity is doing the same thing over and over
again and expecting different results. This goes for talking to
women as well. If you ask her a few questions and she isn’t
receptive to you, she won’t magically start opening up to you after
the 30th question.
It also always gets a laugh. Imagine being in an elevator full of
people and everyone is silent. What do you think will happen if you
said “Well, this is awkward”? People will laugh because that is what
everyone is thinking.
I saw a couple the other day trying to take pictures of each other. I
approached them and said “Do you want me to take a picture of you
guys together?”. The woman was reluctant to give me her phone so I
said “Don’t worry I won’t steal your phone”. The couple both
immediately laughed and the woman handed me her phone with
pleasure.
What makes someone weird is when they don’t know they are being
weird.
If a guy approaches a girl and says something along the lines of “I
know this is awkward and weird but I thought, you were attractive
and wanted to talk to you”. That line alone will make the girl
receptive to you (if she isn’t stuck up). Add some confidence and
good body language behind your statement of empathy and you can
be sure you will stand out from all the guys that have approached
the girl.
When the girl feels creeped out or awkward, a simple statement of
empathy will lighten the mood and make her feel more comfortable.
When in doubt use a statement of empathy, careful not to overuse it
because then you come across as needy and insecure.
You should never blame the girl for not being receptive to you. She
might be having a bad day or she might be sick. There are a million
reasons. Just move on.
Approaching at A Nightclub
The difference between day game and night game is that night game
is easier and works more in your favour. It is more socially
acceptable to talk to women in bars and nightclubs. Also, the
women are most likely there to meet a guy or to have fun. If you can
offer the girl more fun, then she will be attracted to you.
If the girl has had a few drinks and the alcohol is starting to kick in
she might be more confident and more receptive to you.
DISCLAIMER! I don’t want you flirting with girls that are really
drunk. There drunk behaviour might vary from their normal
behaviour along with it being very manipulative. Being able to
attract a drunk girl isn’t improving your skills. She probably won’t
even remember you the next day.
Establish Eye Contact Before You Approach
Making intense eye contact with a girl you find attractive at the
club, you will subconsciously tell her that you are a dominant
attractive male. Your eye contact will set you apart from all the
other shy insecure guys in the club.
From the moment your eyes lock onto each other, it should be as if
there are invisible lasers connecting your eyes together. Now that
you have established eye contact it is time to approach.
Offer Value
Most guys who talk to girls at nightclubs are there to take value
from the girl. What do I mean by taking value?
Taking value is when you are approach a girl in hope of receiving
something from her. It could be her phone number, a make out or
even sex. Usually you showcase taking value by asking girls
personal questions straight away hoping she will like the fact that
you are showing interest in her so she can have sex with you.
Attractive guys don’t take value from a girl. Attractive guys offer
value to the girl. The mind-set of an attractive guy is “I am having
fun. You can join in and make it even more fun but if you decide to
not join, I will still be having fun”. This mind-set shows non
neediness. You don’t need a girl to have fun.
If you are fun already the girl will want to hang out with you and
want to open up to you naturally. You won’t need to force her to
open up to you by constantly asking her questions. If you are
coming from a fun, spontaneous mood, the girl will subconsciously
be attracted to you.
The difference between offering value and taking value is how real
you are. A person who takes value from a girl is the one who is fake
and manipulative. They will try to be the person they think the girl
wants.
The person offering value is the person who is real and he is
himself. He isn’t talking to a girl because he wants to fuck her. He is
talking to her because he wants to have even more fun than he is
having already. He wants to give good emotions. Of course,
attraction comes along with making people feel good.
It always feels better to give a present than to receive a present.
Once you show the girl that you aren’t trying to take value from her
and you aren’t just trying to fuck her then you can start asking some
casual questions to start to get to know her.
When The Environment Is Too Loud
There are going to be times where you are at a nightclub and even if
you shout, the girl will not be able to hear you. Sure you can lean in
and shout in her ears but from my experience most of the times she
still can’t tell exactly what you are saying.
What do you do? You use your phone. That’s right type on your
phone whatever it is you want to tell her and simply show her. Since
you are in a nightclub you can tap on her shoulder (it won’t seem
creepy, waiters do it all the time when they want to go through a
group of people) and show her your phone.
You can type in your notes a statement of empathy or tell her that
the club is too loud that’s why you are using your phone. This works
99% of the time for me because no one approaches a girl in the
nightclub using their phone. It is unique and completely separates
you from the other guys.
Once you have gotten her attention and she is invested in the
interaction you can start talking to her normally or go someplace
quieter.
Hot Girls Are Rarely Alone
If you have been to multiple nightclubs, you would have figured out
that attractive girls are rarely alone. Whether it is a mixture of guys
and girls or just girls, attractive women tend to be in groups.
No one wants to go to a nightclub by themselves and not many
people do. Most of us go to hang out with friends and have fun. If
you go out to a nightclub and see an attractive girl sitting by herself,
99% of the time, she is waiting for her friends.
I am not saying girls never go to nightclubs alone, it is just
extremely rare. If you want to attract the hottest girls, you are going
to have to learn how to approach and deal with groups. We will talk
more about this later.
Never Buy a Girl a Drink
When I ask guys how they approach girls at nightclubs, almost all of
them respond with “I go up to her and buy her a drink”. This makes
me furious.
The main reason a guy would buy a girl a drink is because he is
scared of rejection so by asking her if she wants a drink she is
bound to say yes. Not many girls will pass up the offer for a free
drink. The guy thinks that if the girl takes the drink she will be
“obligated” in a way to stay and talk to him. However, in most cases
the girl will get the drink and leave.
Buying a drink for a girl you haven’t even met yet shows that you
cannot attract women with your personality so you have to buy her
affection. Like we talked about earlier, buying her a drink is a form
of manipulation because you are only doing it because you think it
will increase your chances of sleeping with her.
This is incredibly needy behaviour. Attractive guys don’t secretly beg
the girl to stay with them because they bought her a drink. He talks
to her and if she rejects him, oh well he just moves on.
If the girl is attractive, you are probably not the first guy to buy her
a drink. When you do, automatically in her mind, you’re the same as
every other needy buy that bought her a drink. You are no different.
Never buy a drink for a girl you don’t know. Instead save that $10
dollars to buy her a coffee for on your date.
Ok so you saw an attractive girl, you locked eyes for a few seconds,
you walk up to her and use a statement of empathy to show you
aren’t weird. She is laughing…Now what?
How to Create an Intriguing Conversation Out
of Thin Air
The biggest excuse guys use when it comes to approaching women
is “I don’t know what to say”. The truth is you can say a million
different things; you are just trying to find the ‘perfect thing’ to say.
After years of studying the psychology of dating, I came to realise
that there is no ‘perfect thing’ to say.
As you become more experienced with women you will come to
realise that what you say doesn’t matter as much as you might
think. In this chapter I am going to share with you some techniques
you can use within your interactions to eliminate any awkward
silences and keep the conversation going for hours.
This Isn’t Hollywood
We have all watched a romantic Hollywood film where the guy
walks up to the girl, says something that makes him look super cool
and the girl instantly falls in love with him. No matter what the girl
throws at him he always has the perfect response every time. I hate
to break it to you but Hollywood movies are fake. All the dialogue in
the movie has been written by a professional who spent hours upon
hours perfecting everything that comes out the character’s mouths.
You can’t expect to do the exact same within 3 seconds of seeing a
girl. It is impossible to have the perfect response to everything the
girl throws at you at all times. Attracting women is messy.
When talking to a girl it will never pan out as smoothly as it did in
your brain. Unless you’re a psychic there is no way you will be able
to predict everything she will say. There will be times where you say
something that offends her or someone might interrupt you. Having
game isn’t about memorising the best lines to use, it’s about
overcoming difficult situations while still having a good time with
the girl.
“A girl will never kiss you, have sex with you or be in a relationship
with you because you said the perfect thing”
It’s NOT What You Say, It’s HOW You Say It
Men rely too much on the words they say instead of HOW they say
them. Words make up only 20% of an interaction. What is more
important is how you come across saying those words. I have
recently watched an experiment that proved my point. The
experiment went as follows.
Two groups of girls consisting of 5 girls per group where given a
laptop with a video on it. Each group went into separate rooms to
view the video. The video was a recording of a guy talking to the
camera about himself in order to upload to a dating site. After
viewing the video, each group had to decide if they would date the
guy in the video or not.
Surprisingly, Group A all decided that they would date the guy but
Group B decided that none of them would date the guy. Why is this?
What the girls didn’t know is that Group A got a video of the guy
talking about himself but in a fun energetic manner. Group B
however got the exact same video with the exact same words, only
the guy was saying it in a sad, boring manner.
This goes to show that the actual words you say don’t have as much
of an impact on a girl. It’s the way you say it that truly matters. This
is proven in the experiment when the guy in the video says “My
ideal date would be someone fun and interesting and cheap”.
In the video that Group A watched, this line was delivered in a
funny, upbeat tone. The girls laughed at this comment. In the video
that Group B watched, this line was delivered in a serious boring
tone which made the girls un-attracted.
Not only did his tone affect his attraction levels, it also affected how
the women perceived some negative comments he was saying
throughout the video. The upbeat video made the positives stand
out which made him more likable whereas the boring monotone
video made the negatives very clear.
Stop concentrating so much on the actual words you say, start
putting more focus on how you actually say those words.
Change Your Perspective
Most guys talk to girls for one sole purpose. They want to fuck
them. When you approach the girl with the intention of fucking her,
you put unnecessary pressure on yourself. You are approaching with
the mentality of “I need to say everything right so I have a chance of
having sex with her”.
This is the kind of mentality that is taking value from a girl. When
you approach women you must offer value to them in the form of
fun. If you approach because all you want is sex you are
approaching to take value from her, in the form of sex.
Most guys start to imagine scenarios in their head of what to say
and how to respond before they even approach the girl. This is
dangerous because once the girl responds with something that
doesn’t follow your imaginary scenario your whole plan comes
crashing down.
Instead of approaching a girl with certain expectations and trying to
imagine what to say and how she might respond, go in with the
intention of having fun. No need for pre written lines or imaginary
scenarios. Just be genuine.
Let’s look at some techniques that will help you keep the
conversation flowing.
Cold Reading
The easiest way to start a conversation out of thin air is Cold
Reading.
Cold reading is when you judge a person’s character or personality
based on visual elements. For example, if you approach a girl and
she is standing with her feet in a T-shape you can ask her if she is a
ballerina because she stands like one. If the answer is yes, then you
have started a conversation about one of her passions in roughly 3
seconds.
Cold reading is also great for compliments. If the girl is wearing red
sunglasses, red shoes and has painted her nails red, you can
complement her on her style. When you are cold reading to give a
compliment, make sure you make it unique to the girl. She doesn’t
want to hear the same old boring compliments.
Cold reading will help transition to the most important technique
you should use when attracting girls. Teasing.
Teasing
Teasing is when you make fun of the girl but not in a way to hurt
her.
When we liked a girl as a kid, we would constantly tease her to get
her attention. We would throw rubbers at her in class or make fun
of her to show her that “we didn’t like her” when in fact, we were
trying to hide our true emotions.
Usually the girl you teased the most would end up liking you too
because you gave her the most attention and you where fun to be
around. Nothing has changed. Even as adults, women love being
teased. Most guys are afraid of saying anything remotely bad about
the girl which makes him boring and unattractive to them.
When a guy comes around and teases the girl and the girl teases
back, we call that flirting. It’s after a good tease where you start to
think “wow this girl/guy is actually pretty cool”. Teasing could be in
the form of sarcasm or just slightly making fun of someone.
You should never tease a girl about a subject that might be offensive
or sensitive to her. Only if you know the girl is comfortable with you
teasing her about a certain subject should you do so. Touchy
subjects include her looks, her body, her friends and religion.
Imagine you go up to a girl and as you are chatting you point to her
friends and say “with friends like that I don’t think you get laid that
often.” At this point you should expect a slap on the face by her and
her friends.
What you just did was not tease her or her friends. You insulted
them. Insulting and teasing are completely different things. This is
the reason teasing is a skill that not everyone knows how to use
properly. In the beginning of my dating journey I used to insult girls
thinking that it was teasing and then I wondered why it never
worked out.
I soon realised that I wasn’t teasing the girls I was insulting them. I
was too forward. The difference between insulting and teasing is
that teasing is subtle.
It is a skill you must master in order to attract women. Let’s get into
some teasing techniques that will make you more interesting than
any other guy she has talked to.
Role-Play
Role-play will only work on a girl that has a good sense of humour.
If she goes along with it, it can create immense attraction for you.
The Role-play technique is when you pretend to be someone you’re
not or create a scenario and act it out in a way. For example, if the
girl says she doesn’t like BBQ chicken wings you could say “That’s
it. We’re getting a divorce. I can’t be with a girl that doesn’t
appreciate BBQ chicken wings”.
Obviously, you aren’t actually getting a divorce since you’ve
probably met the girl 30 minutes ago.
This technique, if used properly will create positive emotions
especially if the girl goes along with it. “I’m sorry please don’t
divorce me. I will eat chicken wings I promise”. You can create any
scenario imaginable and the more ridiculous it is the funnier it will
be.
The most effective way to use this technique is if in the scenario you
create, you and the girl are “together”. This subconsciously gets her
imagining you two together. “We’re breaking up” or “our friendship
is over”. If your role-play consists of you and the girl together it will
be much more powerful.
Busting her Balls
I know this sounds sexual but give me a chance. This is by far my
favourite flirting technique because it instantly increases my mood.
Busting her balls is when you say a statement or a question in a
serious manner only to reveal in the end that you were just joking.
I love this because for a second or two the girl doesn’t know how to
react. She will be unsure if you are serious or not. In the end when
you reveal that in fact you were just messing with her it almost
always gets a laugh.
A great example of this is if the girl asks you what job you have, you
can say “I’m a pornstar” in a very serious tone. After two second you
can reveal that in fact you’re a real estate agent or whatever you do
for a living. This technique will give a girl positive emotions because
for a second she might get worried.
Another reason I love this technique is because once she realises
that you were just messing around with her she will come to realise
that you’re a cool dude. She can joke around with you.
If the girl repeats her question expecting a serious answer you
should give her a serious answer. This is vital for building trust with
the girl. If you continue to bust her balls you will come across as a
clown who is never serious.
You don’t have to wait for her to ask a question to bust her balls.
You can simply just make it a statement. For example, if you’re
talking about going on a date you can say “I’ll come pick you up in
my red Ferrari”. Then you can say “I’m just joking. It’s a very sexy
Toyota Prius”.
Small things like this will show her that you aren’t afraid of teasing
her. Guys that are too scared to talk to hot girls never even try to
tease in fear of offending them or making them feel bad. This is why
nice guys finish last.
Inside Joke
This is probably the most powerful flirting technique because every
inside joke is unique to the girl. An inside joke is when you have a
joke or a reference that refers to a previous conversation you had
with the girl.
Following on from our example with the BBQ chicken wings, you
can use that as an inside joke. Let’s say you have been teasing the
girl about getting a divorce because she doesn’t like BBQ chicken
wings. After a while when you set up a date you could say “let’s go
for a coffee and then grab some BBQ chicken wings”. The girl will
most likely laugh because you just referenced a previous
conversation. You just created an inside joke.
The most powerful connections and interaction I have made with
girls was when we had an inside joke if not multiple. Every time a
reference to our joke would pop up we would look at each other and
laugh without even having to say anything.
I was talking to this girl about embarrassing experiences. She
admitted that once she farted while the doctor was examining her
and we both cried of laughter when she was explaining the story.
After a few days she texted me about going to the doctors and all I
had to say was “make sure you don’t fart this time” and that created
an inside joke.
Inside jokes are very powerful because they have the ability to bring
back positive emotions.
Object of Desire
The most desirable things are often those that are hard to obtain.
Everyone wants a $200,000 Ferrari or a multi mullion dollar
mansion because both those things are very hard to get. It is not
impossible but it is very hard.
Studies show that men who are married or in a relationship tend to
be more desirable to women since someone else already has them
meaning they are harder to get, impossible even.
If you truly want to attract a woman, you need to communicate to
her that there is doubt she can have you. You aren’t as easy to
obtain as she might think. If she is unsure whether she can have
you or not this will create mystery in your interactions along with
attraction.
Teasing is a great way to create uncertainty and doubt in her mind
that she can have you. The guy who doesn’t tease is the guy who
gets friend-zoned.
You must be the object of desire. You must be the ultimate prize not
the girl. Men tend to put women on pedestals especially if they are
hot. This makes them needy and shows the girl that they are easy to
obtain. Once the girl realises that she doesn’t have to put any effort
to attract you she will lose interest in you.
Put yourself in a hot girl’s position. Let’s say you’re at a club and a
guy approaches you with “hey you look beautiful I would like to
take you out sometime”, would you go out with him?
NO, of course not. Not only does he know nothing about you and
you know nothing about him, he is easy. The girl wants to work for
you. She will appreciate you so much more if she works for you.
When you kiss it will be more meaningful. When you go out on a
date she will have butterflies because she will want to impress you.
Make the girl feel like she has earned you and your relationship will
be much more meaningful.
Sexual Innuendos
The factor that separates a friend from a boyfriend to a girl is sex. If
she views you as a potential sex partner, then you can become
intimate with her. If, however you don’t get her to view you as a
potential sex partner you will end up in the friend-zone.
The best way to get her to imagine you as a sex partner is using
sexual innuendos. A sexual innuendo is a statement that can be
interpreted in a sexual manner. The most effective form of sexual
innuendos is when you make it seem as if she is flirting with you.
For example, if you are trying to get your phone out of your pocket
and the girl says “just take it out” you can say “whoa easy, at least
wait for the first date”. She meant “just take out the phone” but you
just made it seem like she was saying something sexual. This shows
that she is the one trying to flirt with you.
Your sexual innuendos must be very subtle otherwise it kills the
attraction. What you shouldn’t say is “whip out my dick?”. That is
way too much and way to forward. You need to make it as subtle as
possible.
When talking to girls try to find a way to use these lines “you have
to take me out for a drink first” or “Whoa, we only just met”. Do
whatever you can to make it seem like she wants you. Flip the script
so you can become the object of desire.
There will be times where the girl will have a low sense of humour
or might not share the same sense of humour with you. I believe
you should find a different girl since your interactions won’t be as
enjoyable for both of you.
Future Plans
There is a technique I use to make the girl visualise us doing things
together. While interacting with a girl you suggest something you
guys should do together. For example, you could be talking about
your favourite film and she says she has never watched it. you reply
“You haven’t watched it? that’s it we are watching it together. We
will order pizza, dim the lights, cover ourselves with blankets and
watch the movie”.
This makes her visualise the two of you together. You can also
reference your future plan when you are texting her. When you
want to set up a date you can say “At 9 I’ll be free. I’ll pick you up,
we will order some pizza but you have to bring the blankets.”
Say What’s On Her Mind
This technique will eliminate the fear of running out of things to
say. If at any point throughout your interaction the conversation
dies down and you’re left with a few seconds of silence all you have
to say is “I ran out of things to say”.
This works because you are saying exactly what the girl is thinking.
I have used this techniques every time there is a few seconds of
awkward silence. Not only will the girl laugh but many times she
will try to revive the conversation.
If anything awkward happens while you are talking to the girl
acknowledge it. Say it out loud because you can be sure the girl is
thinking about it. This will make you seem confident and more
attractive. Trying to hide it will only make you seem insecure.
Building Trust
Now that you have learnt some basic flirting techniques, it time to
take your interactions to a deeper level by building trust.
When you approach a girl you are doing it for a purpose. It could be
that you want a girlfriend, a one-night stand, a number or even just
to have fun. No matter what the purpose is, it is vital to build trust
with the person to make them feel as comfortable talking to you as
possible.
Teasing a girl is great for having fun but if you want to take it a step
further then you must build trust with her. If you don’t and you
spend 30 minutes laughing and teasing you will just be ‘That guy
from the bar’. You don’t want to be that.
Building trust with the girl will show her you are a real person
you’re not just a guy that came to hit on a bunch of girls.
Passion
The simplest way to build trust and show her you are a real human
being is to bring her into your world. Showing interest in her life
will make her open up to you but you need to open up to her in
order to build trust.
The easiest way to do this is to talk about your passions. There are
two main benefits in talking about your passions.
On the one hand you are showing her you are a real human being.
Everyone has a passion. It could be as simple as watching movies or
reading. Open up to her about what you do in your spare time or
what you like doing and show her that you have a life. Doing this
will show her that you aren’t following any pre made script or
memorised lines. You are just being genuine.
Remember girls can see through your fake personality. When
talking about your passions everything you say should be real and
she will appreciate that. She might even open herself up more to
you since you shared a little piece of your life.
On the other hand, when talking about your passions you will
naturally get more excited. You might even start to talk faster and
have a lot of energy because you are talking about something you
truly love. When a girl sees this kind of energy and excitement she
will naturally have the same energy and excitement. This is because
people tend to feel sympathy for other people.
When we pass a homeless person most of us feel bad for him. When
we see a person having the time of their lives we start to feel like
having more fun too. Talk about your passions and the feelings of
excitement will reciprocate onto the girl.
Things in Common
The easiest way to be liked by someone is if you share a common
interest. We tend to like and are attracted to people that have things
in common with us.
I recently went to a coffee shop and a guy walked in with a hot girl
next to him. I took a closer look at the girl and realised that it was a
girl I used to date. We will call her Jess for privacy reasons. Me and
Jess exchanged a smile, I introduced myself to the guy she was with
and I started making conversation with the guy until the line would
shorten.
As we were talking a subject I have an obsession over came into the
conversation. Cars. We started talking about cars and I realised that
the guy also shared a deep obsession with cars. We talked about old
school cars, supercars, hyper cars, engines etc.
I looked at my watch and realised that I have been talking to this
guy for the past 25 minutes. However, I saw that the guys face had
lightened up while the hot girl was scrolling through Instagram
waiting for us to stop talking.
This goes to show how powerful having things in common with
someone can be. This guy had a hot girl by his side but preferred to
sit with me and talk about cars for half an hour.
Having something in common with a girl, whether it is the place
you live or your favourite superhero, will quickly build a sense of
trust. It will naturally bring you closer together and you can be sure
the conversation might go on for quite a while since you are both
very knowledgeable on the subject.
This will also separate you from the other guys because she is more
likely to remember you. When you share something in common you
can use that to your advantage when texting her. You won’t have to
think of the ‘perfect conversation starter’. You can just reference the
thing you had in common.
This will show that you were actually listening to her which will
make her feel appreciated.
Story Telling
Story telling is most effective when used in a subtle manner. If you
want to let the other person know you are rich you can tell a story
about how you forgot your dog in the car one day and someone
smashed your Ferraris window to get the dog out. The main story is
about the dog but subtly mentioning you have a Ferrari will let the
listener know your wealthy.
Girls are attracted to guys that attract a lot of girls. This is because
subconsciously the girl knows that if women want to be around him
he must be pretty special. You can use storytelling to
subconsciously show that you have girls in your life.
You could say for example about the time you had a girl over to
watch a scary movie but when she got scared she spilled all the
popcorn on the floor. Your dog then came and ate all the popcorn
and took a shit on the floor. It doesn’t matter what the story is as
long as you give subtle signs that you have girls in your life.
You can use storytelling to showcase dominance, confidence or even
trust. If you talk about how you dressed up as a clown for your 12year-old niece’s birthday party, it will show that you are a friendly
character. You are also bringing her into your life showing her that
you have a family you’re not some creep in his basement who
randomly approaches girls when he goes out.
Now that you know how to keep the conversation going it is time to
move on to some more advanced techniques. These techniques will
make people wonder “How the hell is he so good with girls”.
What NOT to Say to Women
Now that we have establish what to talk about in your interactions
with girls, it’s time to talk about what NOT to say. This is going to be
a very small chapter because it is important to be genuine and be
yourself when interacting with girls.
Don’t Lie
I used to work as a waiter and throughout my time there I
befriended a guy who was happily married and was very good with
women. He wasn’t particularly good looking but he had all the
confidence and carefreeness in the world. He had the body language
and the behaviour of the attractive man.
He told me that he was always genuine with girls and that he would
never make himself sound better than he actually is. He once
approached a girl and as they were talking, the girl was secretly
trying to figure out how wealthy he is. once he realised this he just
said to her “I’m a waiter at a restaurant and I drive a shitty Mazda”.
The girl looked disgusted.
He ended up having sex with that girl in his shitty Mazda.
Be genuine and don’t make yourself seem better than you actually
are. Unless the girl is a gold-digger, she doesn’t care how much
money you make or what car you drive or what shoes you wear. If
you show that you are happy in the situation you are in, then you
will be 10x more attractive than the guy with a Rolex and a
Lamborghini.
Offensive Jokes
Studies show that women are less likely to say a joke they are
thinking of, because they are too concerned if it will get a laugh or
not. Men on the other hand don’t care all that much. We will say
our joke even if no one finds it funny.
If you don’t know the girl all that well I would avoid any offensive
jokes. That means no terrorist jokes, black people jokes, fat jokes
etc. I have met multiple girls that are cool with these kind of jokes
but you need to make sure that the girl is actually comfortable with
offensive jokes and she understands you don’t actually mean it.
Stick to inside jokes, funny stories and referring back to previous
conversations for the first few interactions. Every girl is different, so
if you feel the girl is comfortable with offensive jokes then the stage
is yours but proceed with caution.
Over-Complimenting
Hollywood movies have us believe that the way to a woman’s heart
is by complimenting her. Compliments are great when you want to
make someone feel appreciated but terrible when it comes to
attracting women.
There are 2 basic rules for complimenting a woman.
Rule #1 Give her a genuine compliment. When you compliment a
woman direct it to her. State something about her. Not the dress she
is wearing or how attractive she is. Give her a compliment on
something she can control. You can complement her style, her
smile, her weird laugh, the way she walks, her personality, anything
that she has control over. Anything that is unique to her.
If you compliment a girl on how attractive she is, then you have just
given her a compliment she has heard a million times from other
guys. She subconsciously places you in a category as “just another
guy”. If you give her a genuine and different compliment she will
appreciate it much more.
Rule #2 No more than one compliment. Sometimes you can make
an exception and give the girl two compliments, but that should be
the maximum in an interaction. Compliments are great for making
friends, not attracting girls. When your over-complimenting a girl,
you are putting her on a pedestal. Not only that but it makes you
seem needy.
If you tell the girl she is beautiful when you first meet her, then 2
minutes later tell her she is attractive, then you tell her that she has
beautiful eyes, this screams out neediness. You want to be the
object of desire.
Not only do your compliments loose meaning after overusing them
but they also seem fake. When you keep flooding the girl with
compliments she will slowly start to feel like you are trying to get
something from her because you are being “too nice”.
Compliments are great but only when you use them effectively. The
rarer you give a girl a compliment, the more she will value it.
No Complaining
Complaining is part of a submissive man’s mentality. A strong
independent dominant man is happy with himself and his life
therefore he has no need to complain. He understands that if he
isn’t happy with something, complaining won’t change it.
We all have problems and sometimes we need someone to talk to. A
girl you are trying to attract isn’t that person. If you want to spill out
all your complaints and problems, go to a friend or a psychiatrist. A
girl who is at a nightclub to have fun doesn’t want to listen to a
random guy complaining about is life. Hearing you whine about
everything will make her lose all attraction to you.
Ex-Girlfriend
You should never talk about your ex-girlfriend in a way to make the
girl jealous or to show off. Sometimes you might be talking about
previous relationships and ex-girlfriends and boyfriends are
mentioned. You should always try to steer the conversation back to
you and the.
You can mention your ex-girlfriend or a girl you have been with
before but don’t focus the conversation about her. If your exgirlfriend does happen to appear in the conversation you should
never ever talk about her in a negative way. If you do the girl will
subconsciously think that you will speak negatively about her
behind her back as well which will make you untrustworthy. If you
talk about your ex-girlfriend in a positive way, then it will show that
you are mature and will boost your attractiveness very much.
No Bragging
We already talked about the fact that whether you drive a
Lamborghini or a shitty Mazda, it doesn’t matter, you can still
attract beautiful women. What will make women NOT attracted to
you is you bragging about your car or your money or your watch or
the amount of girls you fucked.
Women aren’t attracted to the perfect guy they are attracted to the
guy that is perfectly fine with himself.
-RSDMax
If you accept where you are financially or with how many girls, you
slept with then you will have no need to brag. When you are
bragging you are telling people you are insecure and seeking
validation. Even though you might think a girl would be impressed
by your achievements, she is much more interested in having an
amazing time with a guy.
Sex Talk
It is hard to determine when to start talking about sex with girls.
The mistake I see guys making is they talk about sex in a very
obvious way. Flirting and creating sexual arousal should be very
subtle. You shouldn’t be too upfront when talking about sex, you
should use sexual innuendos.
Sexual innuendos are phrases that say something but mean
something else in a sexual way. Sexual innuendos are way more
powerful than just normal sex talk. Craig Ferguson is a master at
sexual innuendos. Since he is on TV and he is flirting with some of
the most popular actresses in Hollywood, he can’t be upfront about
sex otherwise it will create awkwardness and will make the girl feel
like a slut. Instead he is very subtle.
For example, there was this interview he had with Hayley Atwell
where they talk about how big Chris Evans pecks where, but they
referred to his pecks as man boobs. Hayley Atwell says:
“They were absolutely enormous”
In which Craig Ferguson replies
“Coming from you that’s a hell of a thing to say”
Any other guy could have commented on Hayley Atwell’s boobs but
they wouldn’t have made it as subtle. They would have said “So are
yours” or “Are they as big as yours?” which is too direct. I strongly
recommend you watch Craig Ferguson flirting during his interviews.
You will learn so much about becoming sexual with women in a
subtle way.
Here is a conversation that occurred between me and a girl. We
were discussing what the girl wanted in a guy:
Her: “I want a tall guy”
Me: “Check”
Her: “I like guys that shave”
Me: “Check” (Even though I have a beard)
Her: “But you have a beard”
Me: “Oh, were talking about the face”
Being able to use sexual innuendos effectively will make bring
sexual tension to your interactions without making you seem
creepy.
Qualifying Yourself
The fastest way to show you are needy is to start qualifying yourself
aka “proving” yourself. The way to attract women is to make
yourself seem like the object of desire but by qualifying yourself you
are subconsciously showing her that she is the “ultimate prize” not
you.
For example, if the girl says “I like guys with muscles” and you reply
“I have a six pack”, then you are qualifying yourself. You are saying
“oh look at me I have what you want please take me”.
If you ever find yourself qualifying yourself then turn it around so
you seem like the object of desire again. If we continue with our
example you could reply with “I have a six pack. If you’re lucky you
might just get to see it”.
If you see that a girl is qualifying herself, without you challenging
her it can be classed as a sign of interest from her.
You should always try to make her qualify herself from time to time
to subconsciously make it seem like there is doubt she can have
you. Sometimes when you think the girl is trying to make you
qualify yourself she is really just giving you one of her girl tests. We
will talk more about how to pass girl test later on.
Dry Talk Vs Emotional Kick (How to Build
Trust and Emotion)
In everything you do in life there must be a balance. The same goes
for your interactions with girls. You need to have the interesting fun
conversations, along with some real conversations. If you use too
much of one type of conversation you will either seem fake and
manipulative or boring.
Dry Talk
What most guys think attracting girl’s means is going up to them,
asking them questions about their life and then hopefully have sex
with them. I’m sorry to brake it to you but that isn’t how it works.
That is why most guys aren’t good with women. They use too much
dry talk.
Dry talk is the normal boring everyday questions 99% of guys use
on girls. They mostly sound like you are giving a job interview. For
example:
Where are you from?
What do you do for a living?
Do you have pets?
THESE QUESTIONS ARE BORING!
Dry talk should be used in small doses throughout the conversation.
If you use too much dry talk the girl will lose interest and slowly get
bored. You will go into interview mode, which we talked about
earlier. If you use too little dry talk, the girl will not trust you and
will feel like you haven’t connected.
Dry talk is very important and is crucial in building trust between
you and the girl. When used to much though, it can destroy your
attraction.
You can tell by a girl’s reactions and body language if you are using
too much dry talk. If you are talking to a girl and she is looking
around and it seems like she isn’t really listening to you, then you
are probably using too much dry talk. Another way to tell is if she is
slowly taking steps or trying to walk away from you. Again you are
most likely using too much dry talk.
The girl doesn’t want to interact with a guy that is going to bore her.
If you approach a girl in a nightclub, she isn’t expecting you to give
her a job interview, she is expecting to have a good time.
Not all hope is lost though because you can still attract a girl even if
you have used to much dry talk on her. All you have to do is give her
an emotional kick.
Emotional Kick
An emotional kick is the best and most important thing you can give
a girl. Apart from an orgasm obviously.
An emotional kick is when you give a girl positive or negative
emotions through your actions or what you say. If you make a girl
laugh for example, that’s a positive emotional kick. If you tease the
girl that is a negative emotional kick.
All emotional kicks are good. They are not to be used to offend the
girl in any way. If you say to a girl “You’re fat” or “We are never
going to get along, you’re too ugly”, that is not a negative emotional
kick. That’s just you being a dick and bringing out her insecurities.
You need to be very careful with negative emotional kicks and make
sure you are always using them in a flirtatious way. If you see that
the girl feels uncomfortable or insecure with something you said
you should always give her a genuine apology.
Emotional kicks are usually used when teasing a girl or building
rapport with a girl. Remember you want the girl to feel different
emotions throughout your interaction. For the best interaction
possible you must use both positive and negative emotional kicks to
give her a rollercoaster of emotions.
Positive emotional kicks don’t just have to be verbal, they can also
be physical. For example, a hug or a high five will not only break the
physicality barrier (More on that later) but it will also give her a
positive emotional kick. Sometimes I like to pick up the girl and
swing her around which gives her a massive emotional kick. Only do
this if it’s appropriate for the situation.
Negative emotional kicks are also good to show that you are
dominant and that you have your own views on things. You aren’t
submissive and you don’t follow the crowd. It shows that you are
willing to disagree or challenge the girl. You can use negative
emotional kicks to demonstrate in a subtle way that you are the
object of desire.
If you use only positive emotional kicks you will feel untrustworthy
to her or fake. Imagine someone who never gets mad or angry and is
always having a good day. It is slightly creepy and almost robotic
like. You can be in a good mood but eventually one day, you won’t
be. On the other hand, if you use too many negative emotional
kicks, you will seem way too cocky and unattractive and just an allround negative person.
In conclusion, it is vital to use both dry talk and emotional kicks
(negative and positive). This will ensure you are a fun guy that you
can flirt with as well as a guy you can have a normal conversation
with. Too many emotional kicks and not enough dry talk will make
you just “another fun guy” and too much dry talk and not enough
emotional kicks will make you just “another boring guy”. Find
balance in your interactions and you will attract girls more girls
than ever before.
How to Never Run Out of Things to Say
Game is never perfect. You need to stop confusing the real world
with Hollywood. In the movies the actors follow a script where they
never run out of things to say. I hate to break it to you but there are
going to be times where the conversation will die out and become
awkward.
It’s how you deal with it that will make you attractive. We have
already talked about what to say and what not to say in previous
chapters. We discussed the concept of cold reading to start a
relevant conversation out of thin air and reefing back to previous
conversations to create inside jokes. How do you eliminate the
chances of the conversation dying down though?
Stop Thinking
Before I discovered the secret rules of dating, I couldn’t hold a
conversation with a girl for longer than 45 seconds. I could talk for
hours on end with my friends but when it came to girls I would run
out of things to say. This happened because I was overthinking.
When you approach girls you will feel stressed and have anxiety and
you will constantly be looking for the perfect thing to say. There is
no perfect thing to say and you should stop trying to come up with
one. instead of using your energy to come up with the perfect line,
use that energy to calm down. Just take deep breaths. Studies have
shown that we lose IQ points when we are stressed.
When we meet a complete stranger we have no idea what their
personality is like. It is hard to determine if they have the same
humour as you or if you have common interests, so you are in
constant fear of saying something wrong. When this happens
everything you think of saying is filtered by your brain before it
decided that it is safe to say.
You actually think of a million different conversation starters but
then your brain stops you from saying them by filtering them out.
Will she get offended? Will she get hurt? The joke isn’t good
enough…
Attractive men are not afraid of taking risks. If you feel like a joke is
funny say it, if you want to talk about Spiderman with a girl start a
conversation about Spiderman. Don’t overthink it.
Once I stopped overthinking when talking to girls, I instantly
became funnier and wittier. I was able to think of awesome
comebacks on the spot when girls challenged me. Remember, it
doesn’t matter what you say, it matters how you say it.
Observe Your Surrounding
This is similar to cold reading only it doesn’t focus on the person, it
focuses on the environment around you. This can include other
people as well.
You might start talking to a girl in a café and the conversation dies
down but then you spot a really tall man. You can start a
conversation about that man. “I wonder what it feels like to be that
tall” “It would be hard to kiss a girl when you’re that tall”, there are
a million different possibilities. Never judge the person or say
anything mean about them because this will make you look
insecure.
It doesn’t just have to be other people. You can observe anything
from your surrounding and transition it to you or her. If there is a
song playing on the radio that you recognise you can just start
singing it, she might even join in since you are offering fun.
Conversation String
What is harder to do, talk to someone for 10 minutes or talk to
someone for 1 hour? Trick question. It requires the same amount of
conversational skill to talk for 10 minutes or an hour. It doesn’t
require more effort it just takes longer.
The secret to holding a conversation forever is to use the
conversation string technique.
Have you ever started daydreaming about something and after 2
minutes your mind drifts off to you having a fight with superman
while aliens are trying to abduct you or something crazy like that?
When you daydream your mind tends to drift off and think of a
million different things. All those things connect though.
The conversation string is when you grab a word from the girls
answer or statement to the question and build off that. It’s that
simple. Let’s say the girl says “I love cars. I always wanted a pink
Ferrari.”
You now have the option to talk about what car you like, cars in
general. Ferraris, something you love, you can elaborate on her
colour choice, you can cold read on her colour choice.
“Don’t tell me your favourite colour is pink. You must be a girly girl
then.”
“I hate Ferraris. Lamborghinis are way better than Ferraris.”
(Challenging her)
“You want a pink Ferrari? I don’t think we can be friends anymore”
with a slight smile on your face (Negative emotional kick)
Don’t overthink your reply. If she says “I love cars” you can even say
“I love spaghetti” and now you started a conversation about food. It
doesn’t matter what you reply or how random it is as long as you
link it to what she said.
Just talk and don’t overthink. Overthinking will kill your game and
will increase the awkward interactions you have with girls. It’s like
when you daydream and your mind drifts off to different scenarios.
When talking to girls let your mind drift off.
Switch Topic
If you want to quickly build familiarity and make the girl feel like
she has known you forever, then you need to constantly be
switching topics. What does switching topics do?
Subconsciously if you talk about 50 different topics but you have
only been talking for 10 minutes it will feel like you have been
talking for hours and that will make the girl feel like she has known
you forever.
Pay attention that I use the word feel. Women’s primary drive is
emotion. What matters to the is how something makes them feel. If
you want her to feel like she as known, you for a long time even
though you have only been talking for 10 minutes you must be
constantly switching topics.
Guys will get nervous and think they have a time limit on how long
they can talk about a single topic for. Don’t rush yourself and
change topics every 10 seconds. If the topic is something you have
in common or are both passionate about, talk about it as much as
you want and when you feel like you have had enough, switch the
topic.
You can effortlessly switch the topic by using the conversation
string technique to pick out a word and make another conversation
out of that.
I love BBQ chicken wings. They say if you crack one of the bones
and you make a wish, your wish will come true. They also say that
about the Buddha statue if you rub his belly. My wishes never came
true. One of them was to own a Ferrari so I could drive at incredibly
fast speeds. Even though I love going really fast I would never get
on a rollercoaster because I saw my dad throw up once after going
on a rollercoaster and that scared me. Not as much as spiders scare
me. I wouldn’t mind having spider powers for the day like
Spiderman, you would be able swing wherever you want and climb
walls. If I could have any superpower I wanted though it would be
mind-reading. I would instantly be able to tell if I have something in
my teeth since I can read the other person’s mind. I hate it when
lettuce gets stuck in my teeth. Every time I go to McDonalds I
always ask for no lettuce in my burger or onions because I hate the
smell. I hate onions all together. They make me cry even if I am
standing 10 meters away. Maybe it is because I have sensitive eyes. I
have prescription glasses I’m supposed to wear but I don’t. I would
never wear contact lenses; I have a fear of them staying in the back
of my eye. I once saw this movie where a woman went to get a laser
eye surgery and they cut her eye off. That made me want to never
get a surgery. Luckily I have never had the need to have a surgery or
go to the hospital for anything serious. I am grateful because I don’t
think I would be able to eat hospital food. It reminds me too much
of school food which wasn’t particularly nice. We once had a food
fight in my school and a bunch of teacher ended up with mashed
potatoes on their face.
When you can just let your mind drift without overthinking you will
start to see that you can talk for hours about all kinds of things. It
took me one minute to write the above paragraph and its full of
topics. It started with the fact that I like BBQ chicken wings and
ended with the fact that teachers had mashed potatoes on their face
during a food fight I had in school.
After reading that paragraph you must feel like you know half my
life story.
So many times I’ve had girls say “Wow, it feels like we have been
talking for hours. I don’t even remember how we started this
conversation. I’ve never felt so comfortable talking to someone”. My
friends are always astonished at how I can talk to people with so
much ease.
Not only will switching topics build familiarity between you and the
girl but it will also make the girl feel like she can talk to you about
anything. My dad would constantly talk about work, and every time
I would join him at a family dinner or go out it with him, work was
the only topic he would talk about.
People have gotten so used to it that they would approach him and
ask him how work is going and that’s it. My dad would take over the
conversation.
Switching topics will give the girl a false sense of time, and time is
the most powerful way to build trust with a girl.
I once went to the cinema and in line in front of me was a friend of
mine I have known for a while. She was tall, Russian and had a
perfect body. She was with her boyfriend who was the complete
opposite of what you would imagined a perfect blonde’s boyfriend
would look like. He was tall, skinny, lanky and very awkward. He
couldn’t keep eye contact for more than a second and had very bad
body language. So how did he get such a hot girlfriend? No, not
because he was rich but because he spent 3 years texting the girl
before they finally got in a relationship. Time built trust.
It’s like characters in a TV show. When they get introduced you
don’t know what to think about them or whether you should trust
them but after a few episodes you start to become more comfortable
with them.
Switching topics will give the interaction a false sense of time. I
used to go to coffee shops with my friends by foot because I didn’t
have a car and it as a 30-minute walk. 30 minutes sounds like a long
time to walk to a coffee shop but every time we arrived my friends
would say “wow we talked about so many things I didn’t realise half
an hour has passed”. That’s because switching topics gives you a
false sense of time. It also makes the conversation more intriguing
because you are constantly switching the subject of the
conversation so you never know what you are going to talk about
next. The conversation becomes unpredictable.
When interacting with a girl, it’s not all about you getting to know
the girl. It’s is about building relationships and you do that by
bringing her into your world as well. You are allowed to talk about
yourself from time to time. How will you know potential things you
have in common if you never open yourself up? Talk about your
passions, ambitions, cool stories. Have fun and don’t be afraid to be
a nerd. If you like comic books or movies or video games bring that
up. It adds more subjects to talk about and less chance of you
running out of things to say.
You can exercise switching conversations by talking to yourself. Just
make sure you’re alone when you do it. For 30 seconds or a minute,
just talk to yourself. Do what I did in the above paragraph and keep
switching conversations. Just say the first thing that comes to mind,
it doesn’t have to be perfect. You will soon come to realise that if
you can switch to 10 different topics by talking to yourself you can
do it by talking to a woman.
Yes, And…
This is a technique used in improv classes. The ‘Yes and…’
technique allows you to make it easier for the other person to
continue the conversation. When a girl shows slight interest in you
and asks you a yes or no question NEVER answer it with a plain yes
or no. From the moment you answered yes or no, that conversation
has died down.
Instead answer with “Yes and…” or “No because…” and then
continue the conversation.
Let’s say a girl asks you if you like BBQ chicken wings. You could
say “Yeah” and the conversation would die down. Instead, to keep
the conversation going you could say “Yeah, I love BBQ chicken
wings. I always get them every time I buy pizza with pineapple
topping”. This leaves room for the girl to talk about BBQ chicken
wings, pizza, and pineapple.
The “Yes and…” is the easiest way to help the girl continue the
conversation. Many girls don’t use the “Yes and…” technique which
usually results in the conversation dying. If you use it then you are
making it easier for the girl to invest in the conversation. Most girls
don’t have good game especially the attractive ones. They are used
to the guys trying to make conversation but because most guys
don’t make it easy for girls to continue the conversation, the girls
never know what to reply.
Never answer with a plain “Yes” or “No” unless you are not
interested in the girl at all and you are trying to communicate that
to her. Otherwise always use the “Yes and…” technique and you will
find that you become more interesting while simultaneously
keeping the conversation flowing.
Interview Mode
Now you know that to create conversation with a woman you don’t
just have to ask questions. You can use cold reading, observe the
environment or just talk about yourself. Guys still fall in the trap of
constantly asking question after question until the girl opens up
which usually ends in rejection. I call this “interview mode”.
Interview mode usually happens when you are stressed or in your
head. The conversation dies or the girl isn’t responding and those 2
seconds of silence feel like hours so you need a good question to
break the silence and when you finally do ask a question she replies
with a one-word answer and you repeat the process all over again.
This kind of behaviour makes you look extremely needy.
There are some simple things you can do to avoid going into
“interview mode”. You can apply these as soon as you want.
Number #1 Never ask more than 2 questions back to back
There is a universal law about the number 3. If you ask the teacher
for permission to go to the toilet at 12 o clock she will most likely let
you. If you ask her again at 1 o clock she will be sceptical but will
most likely still let you. If you ask her a third time at 2 o clock she
will get suspicious and will most likely not let you.
if something happens throughout your day twice, it is a coincidence
but if it happens 3 or more times it starts to become a little
suspicious. This is also true for asking questions. If you ask a girl a
question and she replies and then you ask her another question and
again she replies that’s fine. When you ask a third question it will
start to seem like an interview or an interrogation.
When I started studying the art of attraction and flirting I would
approach girls and I would constantly bombard them with questions
until they opened up. As you can imagine not many of them did. I
would even get responses like “Is this an interview?” and “What’s
with all the questions?”.
Imagine this conversation:
M: Hey! Are you Russian?
F: No. I’m actually polish.
M: Oh. What’s it like in Poland?
F: It’s very cold. I don’t like it.
M: Do you prefer America?
F: Yeah it’s much better.
(And then the conversation dies down.)
Did you feel like you were reading a guy flirting or a job interview?
Instead of asking questions turn your questions into statements.
Below I will re write the conversation above with the female giving
the exact same answers but the male not being in “interview mode”
M: Hey! You look Russian.
F: No. I’m actually polish.
M: Oh. Poland must be really cold right now. I have a friend who
lives in Poland and he is always complaining about the weather.
F: It’s very cold. I don’t like it.
M: I bet you prefer America. Why wouldn’t you we make the best
bagels in the world.
F: Yeah it’s much better.
See how even though the female responded with the exact same
answers the conversation was much more interesting because the
male was much more interesting. Let’s analyse what happened
above.
First we started off with the cold reading technique with “You look
Russian”. This can either go two ways. The girl will correct you if
you are wrong or the girl will be amazed at your observational skills.
Either way you can’t go wrong.
Then we said “Poland must be very cold. I have a friend who lives in
Poland”. This shows that you know about her country which will
make you more attractive to her. Not only that, but you also seemed
like less of a threat because you “have a friend in Poland”. The fact
that you know someone who is in Poland is in a way, a thing you
have in common. This will build rapport between you and the girl.
Also, you show that you aren’t weird you have friends.
Lastly we have “I bet you prefer America”. Again turning the
question into a statement. I added Why wouldn’t you? We make the
best bagels in the world” because if I didn’t the conversation might
die down. I like to add more topics to make it easier for the girl to
respond. Now she has the option to talk about America or compare
America to Poland but also have the option to talk about bagels or
food.
Number #2 Always ask open ended questions. Open ended question
are questions that have an answer that doesn’t consist of one word.
If you use open ended question you ae giving the girl a chance to
give you a more detailed answer and keep the conversation going.
Open ended questions start with “Who, What, Where, Why, When,
How” most of the times.
What you should avoid asking is closed questions. These questions
have a yes or no answer. They cause the conversation to die down.
“Did you like it?”
Number #3 What if questions.
These are the most fun questions you could ask. You can just let
your imagination run free and you get the girl thinking. If you
randomly approach a girl and say “what if you had a million dollars
and you had to spend it in one day what would you buy?”. Yeah the
girl might be weirded out at first like “wtf this random guy just
approached me with the most random question” but random isn’t
bad. In fact, you approaching a girl with the most random question
will make you the most interesting guy who’s approached her.
The “What if” technique works better if you have already started
talking with a girl for a while. Once you make her feel comfortable
with you and get her laughing then you can introduce a what if
question with a hypothetical situation to make the conversation
more fun.
Some examples of interesting what if questions could be:
“What if you had a million dollars? What would you spend it on?”
“What if you could have any superpower what would it be?”
You can even ask would you rather questions to make the
conversation even more fun. This is also a perfect opportunity to
challenge her if you pick different answers.
In conclusion by using these techniques in your daily conversations,
not just with girls, you will see less and less awkward pauses and
way more interesting conversations and answers.
No matter how good your conversation skills are, there are going to
be days when you’re not feeling it or when you just don’t click with
the girl. Instead of you trying to come up with “the perfect
conversation” you can just say “I ran out of things to say”. This is
similar to the statement of empathy we talked about earlier. The girl
will appreciate it much more instead of you acting needy trying
desperately to keep the conversation going. Just by saying that line
you will seem more genuine than any of the guys she has ever met.
You can use any line that shows how you feel and just say it out
loud. I like to say “This is the part where it gets awkward for a few
seconds till one of us thinks of a conversation starter”. The girl is
thinking the exact same thing as you and since you said it out loud
it shows that you are carefree. This line usually gets a laugh and
ends up with the girl starting the conversation.
How to Touch a Woman to Create Arousal
Without Being Weird
Sometimes your interactions will feel a bit flat. You might have the
best conversation in the world but it always feels like something is
missing. What’s missing is physicality.
You can’t have the best possible interaction with a girl unless you
touch her and make her aroused. If you just talk, even if you create
emotional kicks you will remain in the friend-zone. You must
become physical with her if you want to attract her. In this chapter,
we are going to discuss how to be physical with a woman without
being creepy.
If you want to have a deeper connection with a woman you need to
escalate on her. The most important sense to create arousal is
touch. Whether it’s sex, kissing or hugging it all comes down to
touch. Physicality is crucial if you want to create sexual attraction.
Physicality was the main area I struggled with most when I would
talk to women. I was never a very physical person and I feel like
that’s because physicality wasn’t present in my family. We would
only hug each other on new year’s day. I would always feel like a
creep when touching women even in a friendly way and will always
feel awkward about it. It didn’t feel natural to me which in turn
reciprocated that feeling on the girl I was with.
What made me overcome my fear of touching is becoming more
physical with the people around me. I would high five more often or
try to hug and touch girls more often (In a non-creepy way). Over
time it wasn’t awkward for me anymore because I did it so often.
Touch Barrier
Just like we talked about before about girls having a defensive
shield they also have a touch barrier. This barrier acts similarly to
the defensive shield. Every woman has an invisible touch barrier
and the only way to destroy it is to act fast. You must break the
barrier by becoming physical with her as soon as possible. If you
wait too long it will become awkward or you will end up in the
friend zone. Here are some ways you can break the touch barrier
without being sexual.
Handshake
The most innocent and friendly way to break the touch barrier is a
simple handshake. It is not sexual in any way and you can do it right
at the start of the interaction when you and the girl are introducing
yourselves. Make sure you don’t have sweaty hands.
High Five
A high five is my favourite way to break the touch barrier. It is
simple and non-sexual which is perfect for the first stages of
physicality. You should go for a high five when you give the girl
positive emotions. This could be when you have something in
common or when she says something you approve on.
The handshake and the high five are the most innocent, friendly and
perfect techniques to break the touch barrier. But now that you have
broken the touch barrier, you need to gradually escalate to a more
sexual touch to create arousal.
You can’t go for the make out straight after a handshake. This puts
too much pressure on the girl and will raise her defence
mechanism. You don’t want to be seen as the creepy guy. Here are
some places to touch to gradually become more sexual.
Arm and Shoulder
The arm or the shoulder is a great place to touch especially when
you say a joke and you’re both laughing. Use the arm or shoulder
touch when you are in a positive moment when both of you are
laughing or have something in common.
Touching people on the arm or on the shoulder is very normal
especially when you’re both in a high energy moment. It also helps
retain the girl’s attention and keep her in the moment.
Her Back
After you have received a positive response, the next step should be
to touch her back. The back is divided by two parts, the upper back
located near the shoulder and the lower back located above her ass.
Touching her upper back is great for when you are in a loud
nightclub and you need to lean in to talk to her. Even though she
will be concentrated on what you are saying she will feel it and will
subconsciously respond to your touch. When you get a positive
response (More on this later) you can start touching her lower back
which is a more sexual area. The best time to touch her lower back
is when you are taking her to another spot in the club or out of the
club. You can touch her lower back to “guide her” towards your
destination.
Classic PUA Moves
There are some classic PUA moves I rarely use anymore just to
spike the girl’s emotions. You can use these after you have received
two or more positive responses. The first technique is the spin. This
consists of you holding the girls hand above her head and spinning
her around once. It sounds stupid but it will make her feel like a
princess for those 2 seconds. It’s also a great way to show your
dominance and that you are in control.
The second technique is simply to pick up the girl and maybe spin
her around. Picking up the girl you are interacting with will only
work when both of you are high energy and are having a great time.
When you see that you are enjoying interacting with each other and
you want to go to a different location, when she agrees pick her up
in a playful way and take her. You don’t have to go the whole way; a
few seconds is enough just to give her an emotional kick.
Another way to incorporate physicality when moving locations is to
extend your arm in a way that allows her to lock arms with you. I
usually extend my arm insinuating that the girl should lock arms
with me and that’s what most of them do.
I once tried this with a girl I was dating and once she locked arms
with me she said “This is kind of corny”. I quickly realised she was
testing me so I said “what would make it even more corny is if I
spun you around”. So I grabbed her hand and hovered it over her
head and she spun which gave her positive emotions. After letting
go of her hand she locked arms with me without me having to say
anything.
We will talk more about how and why girls test you and exactly how
to pass every single one of their test.
Touch Responses
For every touch you initiate there is a subconscious response a
woman gives. The response could be positive, negative or neutral.
A positive response will be when a woman touches you back, it
doesn’t have to be at the same place you touched her.
A negative response is when a woman pushes you away or uses
slight force to stop you from touching her. She might also seem
extremely uncomfortable with your physicality so pay attention to
her body language. This doesn’t mean you have done something
wrong it just means you must tone down on the touching and give
her some space. Once you have recovered from a negative response
you will eliminate your fear of being physical.
The neutral response is neither good or bad, it means she is cool
with you touching her she just needs more time to get comfortable
with you. A neutral response is when she doesn’t reciprocate your
touch neither stops you.
With every touch you initiate always look for the response. Only
become more sexual in your touches if the response is positive. If
the girl gives you a neutral response, then she isn’t ready to become
more sexually touched. If she gives you a negative response take a
step back apologise and just continue talking.
Take things slow you don’t have to keep touching her every second
looking for a response. After you have received multiple positive
responses from a girl you will want to try more intimate things. By
more intimate things I mean kissing.
Girl Tests and How to Pass Every Single One
A girl needs a way to determine whether you are an attractive,
independent, confident man. She can’t just ask you “Hey are you a
cool guy?”. That’s not how it works. She needs to test you to see if
you pass her test. Passing her test will separate you from every
other guy because most guys fail her tests.
What you might not realise is that girl tests are the greatest thing
that can happen to you for two main reasons.
Firstly, girls don’t test guys they don’t find attractive in some way. If
they did they would be wasting their time. Think about it. Why
would a girl test a guy she isn’t interested in? Would you search for
a car to buy if you weren’t looking to buy a car? Would you give out
CV’s if you didn’t want a job?
Secondly, when you pass the girls test the whole interaction can
transform and become so much easier for you. The girl will play
hard to get until you pass her girl test. When you do she will
instantaneously open up and become more invested in your
interaction.
In this chapter we are going to be talking about the most common
test girls give you and how to overcome them to make yourself
stand out from all the other guys, which in turn will boost your
attractiveness.
Before I start listing the most common test girls will give you I need
to let you in on a secret. Whenever a girl tests you she is looking to
see if you have failed or not. How does she tell whether you have
failed? By your reaction.
All a girl is looking for when she tests you is a reaction. Once you
start paying attention to girl test you will come to realise that girls
hold direct eye contact when they test you trying to look for a
reaction. She is trying to read your body language and speech to
determine if you have become self-conscious or fidgety. This
behaviour is present in unattractive men.
If you hold your attractive body language and brush off her
comment as if it doesn’t faze you, you will pass 99.9% of girl tests.
Even better is if you give a witty comment back while keeping eye
contact.
Jealousy
One of the most common girl test you will receive is the jealousy
test. Girls will start mentioning their ex or other guys in hope of
making you jealous. They do this for one of two reasons. They are
either trying to test you whether you are an alpha male or because
they need reassurance and have low self-esteem.
If a girl starts mentioning how awesome a guy she is seeing at the
moment is, you could handle this test by using humour. You could
for example say “Wow he sounds awesome, what’s his number”. If
you can’t come up with anything humorous to say you can always
change the conversation in a subtle way and bring it back to you and
the girl.
If she starts talking about how great her past relationship was or
mentions her ex I use one specific phrase that works on every
woman. “Why did he break up with you?”.
99% of the girls I have said this to always ask me why they think he
broke up with them. It subtly messes with them but in a playful not
a manipulative way. Very rarely will a girl brush off this comment.
This will flip the table and make her start qualifying herself.
What you should never do is try to make her jealous back. This will
show her that you are self-conscious of yourself which will in turn
make you look needy. If a girl is telling you how great her ex is and
then you start talking about how many girls, you fucked this week
then you are starting to qualify yourself. This is very unattractive
behaviour.
You’re A Player
The best way to tackle this comment is to again use humour. Over
exaggerate on how many girls you actually talk to. If she throws this
comment at you say in a sarcastic tone “Yeah in fact, I have 10 girls
laying naked on my bed waiting for me right now”.
This is most likely not true and because you used Over exaggeration
along with a sarcastic tone, the girl will understand that you are just
joking. Since you didn’t act like a scared little boy and used humour
as a way to pass her test she will find you more attractive.
After you have said your humorous comment you should always
change the conversation. Don’t wait for a reaction or for her to
respond.
What you shouldn’t do is say “I don’t speak to any girls you’re the
only one”. This comment will make you look extremely lonely if you
have only known the girl for a less than an hour. You should never
try to qualify yourself to a girl you barely know.
Were Lesbians
This is the most common test you will encounter when you
approach a group of women who are friends. It is usually the friend
of the girl you are trying to attract that will say it, only because she
is trying to protect her friend.
The friend clearly doesn’t know you so automatically her defence
mechanism is up. If you hear this comment it means that you
haven’t lowered her friends defence mechanism yet.
The best way to pass this test is to say “I’m gay”. That’s it.
What you shouldn’t do is believe them. There are some times where
you will approach a girl that is actually gay, but most of the times
girls say it to protect each other.
I Have a Boyfriend
The most common test girls will give you by far is the boyfriend
test. It is also the one most men fail at.
You’ve spent the last 30 minutes talking to this girl who has a
perfect body along with a great personality. Conversation has been
going smoothly and you have been teasing each other endlessly. You
finally build up the courage to ask for her number but she says “I
have a boyfriend”.
She is either testing you or she actually has a boyfriend. She could
also be saying that as a way to push you away because you might
have been creepy. We will not consider the third point because by
now you should know how to act non creepy when attracting
women.
To pass her test all you have to do is stay humorous or brush off her
comment. You can just say “Ok cool” and then proceed to exchange
numbers. You could also say “So do I”. The underlying
communication is that you couldn’t care less about her “boyfriend”.
That should be the underlying communication for any response you
give to a girl test. Whether you choose to ignore her comment or
give a funny comment in return you should always show her that
her test doesn’t faze you.
If the woman you are interacting with is extremely attractive she
will most likely test you. The reason being is that she gets hit on by
multiple guys, she needs a way to filter out the guys that are truly
attractive and the guys that are just faking it and trying to
manipulate her into having sex with him.
If you hold your frame and stick to having fun and not being
overwhelmed by her tests, then you will start to see an increase in
how many girls you attract. Hold your body language, don’t give a
reaction and you will pass the girl test like its nothing.
The guys that constantly fail the test are the ones who put women
on a pedestal. They take everything a woman says too literal and are
doing everything in their power to impress women. You don’t want
to be that guy. You should never change your world for a woman
and should never sacrifice something you want to do just to spend
some time with a girl you just met. Leave that for when you are in a
relationship.
How to Give the Girl the Best Kiss of Her Life
The first kiss is always scary. No matter who you are with, you will
feel butterflies in your stomach. That nervousness will make you
feel awkward which will in turn make the girl feel awkward.
Sometimes the girl might even pull back which will make you feel
even worse. In this chapter we are going to talk about how to
determine if a girl wants to kiss you or not and how to not make it
awkward.
You can’t just walk up to a girl and kiss her unless you have some
kind of relationship. If you want to start making out with girls in the
club or anywhere else, then it is going to require a little bit more
effort.
Throughout your conversations with the girl you should always be
testing how she feels about you by touching her. If you get at least 3
positive responses in a row (aka touching you back) then there is a
very high chance that the girl wants to kiss you. Once you have
stacked up all your positive responses it is time to make out.
You can’t however, snog her in front of her friends because then she
will get slut shamed. You must isolate her. Isolating is when you
take the girl away from her group so you and her can get more
personal without being judged. Some girls might not care about
what others think but most girls will feel insecure and wouldn’t kiss
in front of her friends since it puts too much pressure on her.
We will talk more on exactly how to isolate the girl and gain her
friends trust later on.
Take The Risk
The hardest part about kissing a girl is knowing if she wants to kiss
you back. If you have stacked up all your positive responses, then
It’s time to make a move.
Remember what makes a man attractive is his dominance and
leadership. When it comes to initiating the first kiss don’t expect the
girl to make the first move. Always be willing to take the risk. If she
rejects, you it doesn’t mean she rejected you as a whole, she only
rejected your kiss.
When this happens all you have to do is take a step back and just
continue chatting. Keep your conversation light and casual. As you
continue talking keep touching to see what kind of response you get
and repeat the process.
How to Handle Rejection
Sometimes the girl will give you one last test to see how you react. I
have had this happen to me multiple times. I would go to lean in for
the kiss and the girl will turn her cheek or pull back. At first I would
get confused because all night she would be giving me the signals
but then she would pull back. I soon came to realise that it was just
a test and you must not be reactive.
I usually say something like “that was your only chance and you
missed it”. When you say this it shows that you’re not butt hurt and
that you are still the object of desire. She usually ends up smiling
and leaning in for the kiss.
There are other times where the girl will pull away for real. This
could be the case if you go for the kiss too early or you haven’t built
enough trust with her.
Take Control
When you initiate the kiss, take control. Use your hands. You can
place your palm on her neck to control where she leans her head.
This will avoid any awkward nose bumps.
Don’t close your eyes to fast. Look at where you are aiming and then
when you get really close that’s when you should close your eyes.
Make use of your hands. You can place your hands on her lower
back or on her waist, you can place your hand on her neck or on her
cheek. It doesn’t matter as long as you aren’t just standing there
with your hands dangling off the side of your body.
The girl might not know where to put her hands. If she is just
standing there, while you’re kissing, take her hands and place them
around your neck. This shows control and dominance. The girl will
love you for it.
Never ever wrap your arms around her or hold her too aggressively.
Make sure she is always free to move or pull away at any time.
Placing your arms around her will make her feel closed off and will
put too much pressure on her. You should never make her feel like
she is forced to kiss you.
Go Slow
When you are kissing her go really slow at the start. Make it as slow
and intense as possible. No one wants to rush a kiss. I wouldn’t
recommend using tongue for the first kiss but some girls like it.
When you finish, pull back and look at her reaction. Try to
determine whether she liked the kiss or not. If she did go for a
second make out, if not then pull back.
You should always be the first to pull back. It will subconsciously
show her that you are in control and the dominant one in the
interaction. When you pull away she will question whether you
liked the kiss or not or whether she was “good enough” which will
leave her wanting more.
The First Kiss Is Always the Worst
The first kiss will always be the worst for many different reason.
This doesn’t particularly mean that it is going to be bad it just
means that it will be the worst with that specific girl. You aren’t
100% sure if she wants to kiss you and when you do kiss you don’t
know how fast or slow she wants to go or if she likes tongue or not,
she might taste like vodka, you never know. That’s why you
shouldn’t get butt hurt if the first kiss didn’t go well. Once you get
over the first kiss then the make outs that follow will become more
enjoyable.
Timing
Every girl has different timing when it comes to kissing. What I
mean is just because you met a girl yesterday who made out with
you after 10 minutes of knowing you, doesn’t mean you will find a
girl that will do the same today. Every girl has different timing. It
might take you 60 seconds to kiss one girl but it might take you an
hour to kiss another.
Kissing is a way for you to give a girl approval and for her to give
you. If you are truly an attractive man, then you won’t be seeking
the girl’s approval. Most guys become needy because they start
wanting to kiss the girl more and more seeking her approval more
and more. You should never change your character to gain the girls
approval. Stick to your attractive self that doesn’t need other
people’s validation.
How to Deal with Her Friends and Get Them
On Your Side
Women of beauty are rarely alone. Think about it. How many times
have you seen an extremely hot girl at the nightclub by herself?
Very rarely right. The times where she might seem alone, she is
most likely waiting for her friends. If you want to attract the really
hot women, you must learn how to deal with her friends first. If you
wait until she is by herself which might never happen, you will
seem creepy and shy.
Having to deal with her friends may sound intimidating at first but
the result of dealing with them is priceless. If her friends like you
then they will be on your side throughout the whole of the
interaction. It is very important to win over her friends if you truly
want to have a great interaction with the girl.
Women of beauty are rarely alone.
Is She Really by Herself?
If you notice a woman sitting by herself at the bar or in a nightclub,
chances are she isn’t alone. You should act as soon as possible
because once other guys see an attractive woman by herself they
will take that opportunity to go talk to her.
When you approach the girl you must ask her in a subtle way if she
is alone or if she is waiting for her friends. Your aim is to be as noncreepy as possible. You can’t approach the girl and ask her “Are you
alone?”. This will make you seem like the world’s biggest creep.
Instead you should say “It’s very depressing to go to a bar by
yourself” or “You’re really popular at this bar I can tell”. This is
perfect since you are teasing her while also giving her a chance to
say “Oh no I’m here with my friends”.
Once she mentions her friends or who she is with this is your
chance to start talking about her friends and make her mention
their names during the conversation. By the time the friends are
back you know their names which you can greet them with “Oh you
must be Jessica”. If you greet them with their name it will instantly
build a sense of familiarity and trust
Your Skill Doesn’t Matter
When it comes to trying to attract a girl when her friends are around
your seductive skills, no matter how good, don’t matter. You could
have the greatest interaction with the girl and still not manage to
get her number or bring her round your place. The person that
determines whether you sleep with the girl or get her number or
even make out with her, is her friends.
Most guys see the friends as an obstacle that wants to cock block
you and stop you from having a good time with the girl. The only
reason the friends are there is try to protect her from
Weirdos approaching her and making her feel very
uncomfortable
Being slut shamed if she sleeps, makes out with a
complete stranger
The friends aren’t the bad people and you shouldn’t view them like
that. Once you befriend her friends and get them on your side then
attracting the girl will become so much easier. The friends might
even help you too. They want her to find a cool guy in her life, that’s
why they cock block all the unattractive guys.
All you need to do is show them that you are a cool guy and that you
are “good enough” for their friend. How do you show you are good
enough?
Acknowledge The Friends
The worst mistake you can make is to approach a group of girls and
only talk to the girl you like. That’s what most guys would do
because they are usually too scared to even make eye contact with
her friends since the only thought in their mind is “The friends will
try to stop me”.
No one likes being ignored. If you approach the group and ignore
everyone but the girl you find attractive, then you have already set
yourself up for failure. Once you walk up to the group, acknowledge
every single person in the group. This will show everyone that you
are a social guy and you’re not just talking to them to get with a hot
girl.
When you are acknowledging the friends It’s nice to give a
compliment every now and then since you are not trying to attract
any of the friends you can just become friendly. You need to show
the friends that you aren’t trying to avoid them because ‘they might
cock block you’.
The friends don’t want to cock block you. they want to cock block
the weird, creepy, manipulative guy. You’re the attractive guy so you
have nothing to worry about. They are going to be on your side since
they want their friend to find a cool guy.
The fact that you showed confidence and started befriending her
friends will boost your attractiveness more than anything. Make
sure the friends like you from the start. It is easier to maintain a
friendly interaction than to turn a bad one into a good one.
You vs Them
Her friends aren’t the enemies. It isn’t you against them. They are
part of your team and want you to succeed in attracting their friend.
Deep down every woman wants a man in her life, it’s just hard to
find the right one. When you start befriending her friends and they
are on your side they can even become your wingman.
When they start saying “Wow your pretty cool” or start laughing at
your jokes then the girl will see that you have won her friends over
and will find you more attractive.
Don’t Flirt with The Friends
The whole purpose of approaching a group is to spread fun while
meeting a potential partner. You need to have a different attitude
with the friend and a different attitude with the girl you are
interested in. You must be fun and light-hearted with the friends
and flirty and fun with the girl.
Avoid trying to flirt with all the girls there. You should stick to one
girl from the start because then all the other girls will see that you
are trying to flirt with everyone. This will make you seem very
manipulative and needy. The underlying communication is “I don’t
care what girl I hook up with tonight. I am going to flirt with as
many as I can until a girl likes me”. Not very attractive behaviour.
Never Insult Her Friends
No matter how funny your joke might be you should never insult
her friends. You can tease them but you need to be extremely
careful. Instead of trying to insult them try to build trust with them.
Later on when you want to leave with the girl or go somewhere
more private they will not even consider cock blocking you if they
trust you.
You Are Going to Get Shit
Everyone views test and getting shit from the girl’s friends as a bad
thing, when in fact you should be begging to get shit from her
friends. You are going to get shit no matter what, and you will be
glad that you did.
If someone came up to you and started a fight with you while your
friends were around, would your friends help you out and try to stop
the guy from punching you? if you answered no, then you need to
find some new friends.
This is how girls feel when a guy approaches them. They feel very
defensive at the start and her friends are there to help calm down
the situation or eliminate the threat altogether, the threat being
you.
If her friends are giving you shit right from the start that just goes
to show that she has friends that truly care about her. If they didn’t,
they would let her go with any guy she wants and wouldn’t try to
protect her from getting slut shamed.
When the friends are giving you shit it is a little test to see if you are
manly enough for her or not. If you pass their shit, then they will
know you are a cool guy and that you are “good enough” for their
friend.
When they do eventually try to test you and give you shit there is no
need to get butt hurt. Now you know the real reason why they are
doing it. it isn’t because you aren’t attractive or because you aren’t
wearing a Gucci shirt or because you are too short or because you
don’t have enough money. It’s because they are trying to see if you
are a man or not, if you are good enough for their friend.
Always stay fun and positive no matter how much shit any group of
girls give you. You should never let other people determine your
mood.
She Won’t Flirt with Her Friends Around
With most girls they have different personalities when their friends
are around than when a guy is around. When you approach a group
of girls at a nightclub don’t expect the girl to start flirting with you
straight away. If her friends are around she will feel like she is being
judged by them hence why she won’t flirt with you.
She needs to maintain her status in the friends group. If she starts
flirting with you within the first few minutes of meeting you, she
will be slut shamed by her friends. Girls will not admit this to each
other because it can ruin friendships but whether we like it or not
we always judge people based on their actions, even if it isn’t
conscious.
To overcome this obstacle, you must befriend the friends and show
them that you are a cool guy. Once she feels like her friends are
comfortable with you then she will start flirting because she isn’t
scared of being judged. To her and her friends, you aren’t the
stranger anymore, you’re the cool guy at the nightclub.
Dealing with Her Best Friend
Is it easier to flirt and attract a girl in a group of 2 people or a group
of 3 or more people? The answer is 3 or more people. You might
think the less people in the group the less intimidating it is for you
but that isn’t the case.
Let’s say you approach a girl and she is with her 2 best friends
(Group of 3 people) and you start talking to the girl. The two best
friends come and give you shit to see if you are good enough, you
pass all their tests and the friends get comfortable with you.
If you continue talking to the girl, then the 2 best friends can talk to
each other so they don’t feel like they are 3rd wheeling. However, if
you approach a girl who is with her best friend (Group of 2 people),
even if you pass her tests then her friend is still going to stay there,
third wheeling and not leaving you alone. She has nowhere to go
and no one to talk to.
Sadly, there is no way to make her leave politely. You should not
however ignore her friend however, because she will definitely cock
block you if you do so.
You must simply act funny and light-hearted towards her and try to
bring her in the conversation now and then, but you should focus
mainly on the girl you like.
You MUST ALWAYS pay attention to the friend’s body language.
If the girl starts getting bored and you see signs of this in her body
language, then she is about to cock block you (crossed arms, looking
around, trying to walk away). Quickly include her in the
conversation and try to get her to change her body language. Ask her
opinion on what you were talking about. Once she feels like she has
contributed to the conversation she should feel more comfortable
and her body language should have changed.
You should ALWAYS be on the friend’s side. If for example you have
been talking to the girl for 10 minutes and her friend has been
standing there with her arms crossed, you should bring her in the
conversation and say to the girl “Hey don’t ignore your friend she is
part of the group as well”. This shows that you’re on the friend’s
side. Make sure you say it in a playful tone.
Taking The Girl Away
If your interaction with a girl is going well you should always try to
progress it further and further. There will be a point in the
interaction where you want to make out or exchange numbers but
her friends are around.
You should never try to make out with her or exchange numbers
with her while her friends are there. No matter how great your
interaction is, there is a very high chance she will reject you because
it is a very high pressure situation. No matter how much she likes
you, if she even attempts to exchange numbers with you while her
friends are around, she will get slut shamed. The solution? You
must take the pressure off by taking her away from her friends.
When you take her away from her friends you must let them know
you are taking her away. There is a certain phrase I use that will
make the friends cool with you taking her away.
“Me and (girls name) are going to (do something) real quick. I’ll
bring her back in I promise.
This phrase has 3 parts.
The first part is to show that it is a joint decision that you are
leaving. It lets the friends know that she is comfortable with you
taking her away. You shouldn’t say “I’m going to take (girls name)”
you should always say “we” or “me and (girls name)” to show is was
a mutual decision.
The second part is what you are going to do. It does not matter what
you say as long as you don’t say you’re going to make out with her
or exchange numbers. You can just say “I’m going to show her a
picture of my dog”. This is a great excuse since when you pull your
phone out to exchange numbers the group of friends will think you
are showing a picture of your dog if they see you. Obviously girls
aren’t stupid they will realise you are attracted to each other but it is
a way to take the pressure off the girl.
The last part is where you use a time constraint. Make sure your
time constraint shows that she is coming back really fast otherwise
her friends will think that you are going to take a while and cock
block you. if you say “real quick” or “for a second” the friends will
think oh well she will be back in a bit anyway.
Once you have taken her away from her friends you are free to
interact with the girl and go to intimate lengths.
Taking Her Home
It is extremely difficult to take a girl home if she has come to a
nightclub with the intention of leaving with her friends. She won’t
abandon her friends for a random guy she met at a nightclub. Not
only will she get slut shamed but it might also ruin her friendship.
Taking her home after she has come to the club with her friends
does require some luck. It isn’t impossible though.
We will talk more about taking the girl home later on.
How to Deal with Other Guys
If you have started to go out and attract women, you have definitely
seen a woman you found attractive that you didn’t approach
because she was with a guy.
Most guys have a fear of approaching groups where there could be
one or more guys in the group. Even if the guy might be short and
geeky and skinny they still wouldn’t approach because… he is a guy.
Negative thoughts are going through their head constantly “He
might want to punch me, he might be in a relationship, he might
like her”
You need to eliminate the negative thoughts from your mind if you
want to approach groups with guys confidently. The cold hard truth
is, most guys don’t have game and that’s why most guys stay just
friends with the girl they like. You on the other hand have game
which puts you in a much higher position than the other guy, even
if he is more muscular or good looking than you.
There are simple ways to determine if you should even attempt to
approach the girl if there are guys in her group.
Look at Their Body Language
The first thing that goes through every guy’s mind when they see a
woman with a guy is “That must be her boyfriend”. There is an easy
way to tell if this is true or not. You must simply look at their body
language. It is not always 100% accurate but most of the times you
get a rough estimation of their relationship.
If they are hugging or holding hands, there is a very high chance
they are in a relationship.
Their proximity from each other is a good indicator of their
relationship as well. If they are standing really close to each other
and are in each other’s personal space, then they are most likely
together. If they are standing a normal distance from each other
they might just be friends.
If you have determined that they seem like friends, it is time to
approach.
Is He Her Boyfriend?
The best way to find out if they are in a relationship is to just ask.
You can’t however just approach the group or the two of them and
say “Is he your boyfriend?”. This is creepy and weird and they will
most likely lie to you just to avoid further interaction with you.
Before finding out if they are together approach the group,
acknowledge everyone including the guy, befriend everyone and
then you can find out their relationship stats by asking it in a subtle
way. All you have to ask is “How do you know each other?”. They
will answer this question by explaining they are either friends, or
related or in a relationship.
If it turns out it is her boyfriend, you can just ask how they met or
get to know them if you want (for building social value) and then
you can leave. You might even make them relive past emotions
which will bring them closer together. All thanks to you.
One day my aunt and uncle where arguing and shouting and each
other over a very minor thing. I started bringing humour into the
argument to calm things down and then I asked them how they met.
Once my uncle started telling the story my aunt will jump in and
correct him when he was wrong and within a couple of minutes they
were both laughing and remembering stories from when they were
dating. The argument that was happening 10 minutes ago was
forgotten and they were just sharing pure emotion.
Boyfriend Shows Up After You Approach Her
You see a girl sitting by herself. You build up the courage and you
approach her. You start talking and 3 minutes later a guy shows up.
It turns out it is her boyfriend. Most guys would feel bad and
apologise and exit that interaction as soon as possible. This is the
wrong approach
When he enters the interaction don’t try to “run away”. Instead
acknowledge the boyfriend and show you are not a threat. You can
ask “How did you guys meet” to show that you’re not intimidated
that a boyfriend invaded your interaction.
If you managed to start flirting with the girl and you see that she is
flirting back this needs to stop when the boyfriend is there. Some
girls will find this opportunity to try to make their boyfriends
jealous by using you. Always side with the boyfriend no matter
what. Be his mini wingman before you leave and bring him closer to
the girl he is dating.
She Is Interested in Another Guy
I am interested in a Lamborghini but it doesn’t mean I’m going to
buy it tomorrow. Most girls are always interested in another guy
because women need men just like men need women. You have
probably been interested in 5 different girls that have walked past
you within the past 10 minutes.
Just because she is interested doesn’t mean that she can’t become
interested in you. In fact, you have the advantage over the guy she is
interested because you are there talking with her while he is… who
gives a shit where.
Even if she is interested it doesn’t mean the interactions over. If you
build enough attraction she will not care about the guy anymore. All
she will be thinking about is how attractive you are. The guy might
not even be interested in her back.
What If Another Guy Likes Her?
If the guy isn’t there with her, then that isn’t your problem. For all
you know if she is hot there is probably more than one guy who
likes her. if she really likes him back she wouldn’t flirt with you.
Later on we will talk about the different types of guys and how to
deal with each and everyone one of them in order to attract the girl
you want. For now, don’t let other men stop you from getting the
girl you want.
The 4 Types of Guys and How to Handle
Them
In most cases when an attractive girl is with a guy that isn’t her
boyfriend, he is there with her for 2 reasons. He is either purely just
a friend and is trying to protect her and have fun with her or he likes
the girl and is trying to hook up with her. Either way you can
overcome both these situations and still attract the girl to you.
To do so you must understand the 4 main types of guys. Throughout
your time of approaching girls, you will start to recognise the
different types of guys and determine how to deal with them. In this
chapter I will show you exactly how to handle each type to attract
the girl you want.
Friend Zoned Guy
This guy has feelings for the girl. He is either too scared to admit it
or still building up the courage to tell her. He will probably never
tell her how he feels since it might ruin their friendship and that’s
the last thing he wants to happen. He could however have already
admitted his feelings towards the girl but she friend zoned him. No
matter what the scenario, the act is the guy likes the girl you are
trying to attract but the girl only sees him as a friend.
The only advantage this guy has over you is time. Time is needed to
build trust and he has spent a significantly longer time with the girl
than you have.
If you want to attract the girl, you must simply be more dominant
than him. Girls are attracted to the most dominant man in the
room. He might even try to make you look bad in front of the girl
but that is understandable since he wants the girl for himself.
Always stay fun and positive and don’t say anything negative about
him. He can’t get in the way of you and the girl because the girl
doesn’t like him in an intimate way.
Aggressive Guy
The worst guy you could possibly encounter is the aggressive type.
He is the stereotypical “alpha male” who in his mind is better than
everyone else. The aggressive guy will do everything in his power to
make you look bad in front of the girl. One of the reasons is because
he might be interested in the girl himself but most of the times he
just wants to boost his ego.
To overcome him you need to avoid falling victim to his aggressive
behaviour by showing dominant behaviour. He will sometimes try
to get a reaction out of you but you should never respond in an
aggressive manner. Don’t act like you are there to hit on “his girl”,
make it seem like you are there to have fun. Always stay fun and
positive and avoid any immature conflict. In the end it will seem
like you are fighting over a girl which is very unattractive behaviour.
If you fight over a girl the underlying communication is that you
don’t have any other girls in your life so you must fight to keep the
one you have.
The Random Guy
This is the guy you need to worry least about. The only reason he is
there is to meet a girl and he just so happened to approach the same
girl you did. Once you start talking to the girl and he realises you
have more game than him then he will probably leave.
If you feel like he is a good guy who is just trying to meet a few girls,
you can acknowledge him and befriend him if you want. If you feel
like he might become aggressive I would avoid contact with him.
The girl won’t take his side and won’t ask him to stay if they have
only been talking for a few minutes. She most likely doesn’t trust
him and he is still a stranger to her so you can be left alone.
Big Brother
This is by far the rarest type of guy you will meet and when you do
you will realise that not all guys are trying to cock block you. His
sole purpose is to protect his friend or as he might call her, his
“little sister”. He doesn’t have any emotional feelings towards the
girl he just loves spending time with her and he truly just wants her
to be happy.
All you need to do is make sure to befriend him and ease up on the
teasing when he is around. These guys most likely have the
Hollywood mind-set as their dating advisor so if you seem like a
gentleman in his eyes, he will give you his “approval”.
Try to truly build a connection with him because there aren’t that
many guys left in this world that don’t want to fuck every single girl
they see. He might even turn out to become a friend of yours or
even a wingman.
You can find out which of the 4 categories the guy you meet falls
into by asking one simple question. “How do you know each other?”
or “Is this your friend?”
You will also have to pay attention to his behaviour or what he says
to determine for sure which of the 4 types of guys he is.
In conclusion, you should never go into a group of friends with the
expectation that you are going to approach the group, befriend
everyone, get the girl and leave. Instead approach the group with the
mentality of “I’m going to try to have as much fun in that group as
possible”. Try to have fun with both the guys and the girls of the
group.
You shouldn’t be afraid to approach a hot girl because there is a guy
around her. Besides you never know, the attractive girl might turn
out to be the most horrible person you’ve met and the guy might
turn out to be the coolest guy you met.
Body Language of a Woman Attracted to You
One of the hardest things to figure out when it comes to dating is if
a woman is attracted to you or not. When we see a man and a
woman flirting we can easily sense if the woman is into them or not.
When it comes to us though it is more difficult.
In this chapter you will learn exactly how to determine if a woman
is attracted to you and the signs she will give off when she is.
It’s Never Obvious
Guys have a logical brain. They think that if a woman is attracted to
him he will just tell her. This is far from the truth. A woman will
never admit her attraction towards you in a verbal way. If she is
drunk, then it might be an exception but 99% of the time she will
show her interest with subtle signs.
Most men become blind when it comes to reading the signs women
are giving off. Women are constantly bombarding men with
extremely subtle signs of interests. It requires experience to be able
to read the subtle signals the woman is giving off. Here are some
signs that a woman is attracted to you.
Physicality
We talked about being physical with a woman earlier. If she is
reciprocating your touches, then this is a sign that she is attracted to
you.
From an early age we would touch things we were interested in.
Just like a baby might touch your face or a kid might touch
colourful things, women touch men they are attracted to.
Laughter
There is a saying that goes something along the lines of “The best
way to get the girl is to make her laugh”. If you can make a girl
laugh it doesn’t necessarily mean she is attracted to you it just
means you are funny. If you can make her laugh at something no
one else laughed at it, could mean she is most likely attracted to
you. If she is constantly laughing at your jokes, no matter how bad
they are, she is most likely attracted to you.
A good skill to acquire is to be able to distinguish a real from a fake
smile. A real smile generates wrinkles around the eyes and exposes
the teeth. A fake smile might sometimes expose the teeth but in
most cases won’t create wrinkles around your eyes. Look out for
genuine smiles on girls to be able to help you determine if he is
attracted to you.
Touching Herself
I don’t mean this in a dirty way.
If the girl is stroking or playing with her hair it is a sign of
nervousness. This also applies for when she is touching her neck or
her arm. The fact that she is nervous around you could signify that
she is attracted to you.
Taking A Peek
If the girl is constantly trying to look at you in a subtle way, then it
could be a sign of attraction. This is probably the hardest sign to
spot because the girl will look at you when you’re not looking at her.
Girls are very good at being stealthy.
If you catch the girl looking at you and she quickly looks down, it is
a sign she is shy or nervous around you. It can be interpreted as a
sign of attraction. Don’t think that because she isn’t keeping eye
contact she isn’t interested.
Proximity
Earlier we talked about the way to determine if a girl has a
boyfriend or not is to look at her proximity with the guy she is with.
If they are close and in each other’s personal space that means they
are comfortable with each other therefore might be in a
relationship. When a girl is trying to get closer to you or is using an
excuse to get closer to you it is a sign that she is attracted to you.
When we were young we always wanted to sit next to our crush or
we would try to get closer to them hoping they would notice us.
Nothing has changed. We want to be closer to the people we find
attractive. If she is trying to invade your personal space, then this is
definitely a sign of attraction.
Legs
The legs can tell a lot about what a person is thinking but it is hard
to look at the way the girl’s legs are positioned. If you’re talking to a
girl and you look down at her legs, you will make the girl feel
uncomfortable. You must be very experienced with body language to
distinguish what every leg position means, which isn’t necessary to
learn to attract women. The simplest one is the legs crossed while
standing up.
If a girl is standing up with her legs crossed you might assume that
it is a bad thing since crossed arms is negative body language.
However, crossing her legs shows that she isn’t planning on going
anywhere. If danger comes then she won’t be able to get out of the
situation fast with her legs crossed. It shows that she feels safe with
you and that she trusts you.
Questions
When a girl starts to become interested in you she will start to ask
you questions. Even if it is just asking your name it is still a sign of
interest.
When I approach girls, I purposely don’t tell them my name so I can
wait until they ask me. When they do I know that they are starting
to get interested. Any question is a sign of interest but the bigger or
deeper the question is then the more she is interested. The girl can
just ignore you and leave but instead she decides to show slight
investment.
The only question that doesn’t show a sign of interest is “aren’t you
going to buy me a drink?”. Whenever I hear this question I just say
“sure what do you want?” and while I ‘leave to get the drink’ I just
go to another girl. Never buy girls you don’t know drinks. If a girl
asks you to buy her a drink, you should either treat this as a girl test
or leave because the girl is only looking for free drinks.
The biggest sign of interest
The biggest sign of interest a girl can give you is that she is still
there.
It’s as simple as that. The girl is free to leave at any moment and
some of them will do just that but as long as she is there interacting
with you she has some interest in you. Stop worrying if she is
attracted to you or not and just have fun.
Don’t see one sign of interest and think the girl is in love with you.
You should try to find multiple signs of interest to be sure the girl is
attracted to you. I strongly recommend you read a book on body
language. It will give you a huge advantage on attracting women.
If you are struggling to find signs of interest, try to find signs of
disinterest interest. A common sign of disinterest is looking around.
This behaviour will sometimes be subconscious because the girl is
trying to “find a way out”.
Another common sign of disinterest is her trying to leave while you
are talking. We have all been in those situations where you aren’t
interested in the conversation but every step you take away from
the person they continue the conversation. So you just end up
taking a step away every minute hoping he will stop talking to you.
When you find a girl that is showing signs of disinterest you can
either let her leave or make an excuse to leave and find another girl
that is more interested in you. If you find the girl really attractive
and don’t want to go through the effort of finding another girl, you
could change the conversation and try to give her an emotional kick
to keep her engaged in the interaction. Remember the girl will get
bored if you use too much dry talk so try to balance your emotional
kicks and dry talk.
Now that you have successfully engaged the girl in the conversation
and you are positive she is attracted to you it’s time to make her
chase you so you don’t end up in the friend zone.
How to Avoid the Friend Zone Forever
As I was discovering the secret rules of dating, I would have friend
this one friend that would be texting a different girl each week but
would always manage to get friend zoned.
I have gotten friend zoned countless times before I started
researching about attraction and each time got harder than the last.
After reading countless pick up books and applying the techniques I
learnt, I managed to get a girlfriend within 1 month.
The main difference between a boyfriend and a friend is sex. The
girl wants to fuck her boyfriend but she doesn’t want to fuck her
friend. That’s the only reason you get friend zoned.
I am going to give you some advice on things you should do in order
to avoid the friend zone. I will explain to you the exact behaviours
that cause a girl to lose sexual interest towards you. If you want to
avoid the friend zone you must get the girl to want to have sex with
you.
You’re Not Her Friend
The fastest way to get friend zoned is to act like her friend.
Submissive guys get friend zoned.
If you approach the girl and your always nice to her and don’t tease
her, then in her eyes you are a very “friendly” guy. If you follow
what I talk about in this book and tease her and build trust with her
and even have subtle sexual conversation with her, you will avoid
getting friend zoned.
You’re Not Her Therapist
If you truly want to build a connection and be able to have long
conversations with girls, you should listen to her. What I mean by
this is to listen to her when she talks about her passions or her
family, NOT when she talks about her problems.
You’re not her therapist and neither should you act like it. If she
starts rambling on about her problems and you just sit there and
listen, by the end of her monologue she will say “Wow, you’re a
great listener.” Which is exactly the same as saying “Wow you’re
such a great friend”.
If she does start spilling all her problems on you, cut her off
politely. I recommend saying something along the lines of “Sounds
like you need a therapist”. This is a nice humours comment which
will bring back the fun in your conversation, just make sure you say
it in a teasing manner.
You could also say “Let’s leave all that behind us. We are out to have
fun” and then change the conversation.
Obviously when you end up in a relationship with a girl you should
listen to her problems but for now you are trying to attract women
not become a therapist.
Don’t Talk About Other Men
If you are talking about other men she is thinking about other men.
Leave her conversations about her exes for her friends. You are here
to attract her not advise her on how to get back with her ex. If you
find her talking about other men, lightly make fun of them. This
will show your dominance over other men.
Revert the conversation back to you and the girl as fast as possible.
If you are stuck listening to her go on about how great her ex is you
will end up in the friend zone.
Be Physical
The difference between her best friend and her boyfriend is sex. She
has a great time when she is around her male friends but she
doesn’t have that sexual urge around them. She has a great time
around her boyfriend too, the only difference is she wants to fuck
him.
You want the girl to be thinking of having sex with you to avoid the
friend zone. You can’t do this without breaking the physical touch
barrier. Sex is touch, so if you don’t physically escalate on her then
you will stay in the friend zone.
We already talked about in a previous chapter exactly how and
where to touch a girl to become physical without being creepy.
Be Sexual in A Subtle Way
If you want to create powerful attraction, then you must do it in a
subtle way. When we were in high school and our crush would
make half a second longer eye contact than normal we would go
crazy. We wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about it all day. It was a
subtle sign of interest that’s why.
If you want to avoid the friend zone you need to show her, you are
comfortable talking about sex but must start in a subtle way though.
The best way to start a sexual conversation is to use humour. Let’s
say you are talking about pets you could say
“I have a massive snake. I also have a pet snake at home”
You realise the sexual innuendo but it is very subtle. I basically said
I have a massive penis but you can see how saying it in a subtle way
will take some pressure off the girl. Otherwise I would be way too
forward and would seem like a creep.
What matters when introducing a sexual conversation to your
interaction isn’t just what you say but also how you say it. It is very
important to talk about sex just as you would talk about anything
else. Your voice or body language shouldn’t change. It should feel as
if you are talking to the girl about puppies.
For example, you could ask the girl “What’s your favourite sexual
position?” and make it sound and feel as if you have just asked her
“What’s your favourite dog breed?”. If you show her that you are
100% comfortable talking about sex, she will feel the same.
Don’t Obsess Over One Woman
I recommend you talk or date minimum two girls at a time. When
you talk to one woman she is the only one you think about and you
start obsessing over her. Most people will call me a player for
suggesting this but you are less needy when you date multiple
women. Needy men get friend zoned.
What you should never do is lie to a woman.
You must always be honest with the amount of women you are
dating. If the girl asks you “how many women are you dating?”, if
you are dating 3, don’t say “You’re the only girl I’m dating”. You
shouldn’t reveal the exact number. Instead you should treat it as a
girl test.
Just because you are dating multiple women doesn’t mean you
shouldn’t respect them.
If you ever find yourself getting those texts that read “Let’s just be
friends” then I suggest you look at what you are doing wrong. The
friend zone is something you should be avoiding from the start.
Build Immense Attraction Through Speech
In this chapter we are going to discuss some advanced techniques
you can use when talking to girls. I will show you some simple but
effective techniques to increase your attraction.
To create attraction, you need to build three basic things with a girl.
Trust, comfort and arousal.
Building trust will make her not see you as a threat therefore
opening up to you more.
Comfort will show her that she can talk to you about anything and
that she can be herself. You will not judge her and that’s what she
should feel like around you.
Arousal is to make her see you as a potential sexual partner or
boyfriend or maybe just a guy she wants to fuck and that’s it. This is
the step guys in the friend zone miss because “they don’t want to
ruin their friendship”.
The simple techniques I list below will help you implement all three
of the points stated above.
Make Fun of Yourself
How can an interaction be fun if you’re not fun? Being funny isn’t
just about saying jokes and acting like a comedian. It’s about being
able to make fun of yourself too from time to time. You’re probably
wondering why I put this in the advanced section. It’s because
there’s a fine line between making fun of yourself while still being
attractive, and lowing your value.
If you are constantly the butt of the joke you will seem like the kid
who always got bullied and made fun of in high school. You will
seem submissive if you joke about yourself too much and you
should NEVER lower your value for girl’s entertainment.
However, if you can laugh at yourself you will seem more
trustworthy, carefree and super attractive. Think about when you
watch a famous actor tell an embarrassing story on TV. Even though
they are making fun of themselves they still seem attractive because
they are laughing about it, not putting themselves down.
Learn to start letting go and start making fun of yourself. Tell a
weird embarrassing story or make fun of a flaw you have. I
remember at college we had a brand new substitute teacher come
in. The bell rang and a tall skinny woman with a very big curved
nose comes in. We settled down and one student said to the teacher
“I feel like I know you from somewhere”. The teacher replied
“maybe from magazines. I used to be a model. They said I have the
perfect nose for a model”
She said in in such a tone which made it obvious she was lying
which made everyone laugh and made her very likable just because
she was able to make fun of herself. She didn’t do it in a selfindulging manner.
The Most Valuable Word in The World
What do you think is the most valuable word in the world? I want
you to truly think about that before reading on. It is a different word
for each person. It is their name.
We have been hearing our name constantly ever since the day we
were born. Our name has been embedded in our brain so deeply
that we immediately react to it when we hear it.
Have you ever been in a crowded place where everyone is talking
and all of a sudden you hear your name crystal clear? Even though
the person might say it in the exact same volume as everyone else
around you, you still hear it very clearly. Other times someone will
say a name that rhymes with your name but you will still think he
said your name.
Your name is your identity.
when we hear our name it subconsciously makes us like the person
even more. When interacting with a girl make sure to use her name
every now to build trust and to show that you haven’t forgotten it. If
you have forgotten it, I recommend you become straight forward
with her and tell her you forgot her name.
At my first day at work as a waiter, the staff I was working with
would ask me what my name is to be polite but then they would
forget it moments afterwards. When they were showing me how to
handle a tray or where to get the drinks they would refer to me as
“you over there” or try to get my attention in different ways.
Everyone apart from one guy who would always say “Max, can you
bring the drinks over?”, “Thanks Max” “You will get used to this job
Max, don’t worry”. As you can imagine he was the most likeable guy
at work.
Be very careful not to over use this technique because you will
instantly seem creepy and weird. Don’t say “I love your dress
Jessica. Where did you get it Jessica? No way! My mum shops from
that shop Jessica”. In the end you will make her hate her own name.
Inside Joke
An inside joke is when you have a reoccurring joke that will only be
understandable if you have been part of a previous conversation or
scenario. This sounds a little complicated so let me explain. A girl I
was seeing at the time was telling me about an embarrassing
moment she had at the doctors. While the doctor was examining
her, she farted. When she told me the story we were both in tears
laughing our heads off.
About a week later we were texting each other and she told me she
had to go to the doctors. I said “Try not to fart this time” and that
brought back all the positive emotions we experienced the first time
she told me the story.
A few days later we went out with a couple of friends and something
about a doctor got mentioned and all we had to do was look at each
other and we started laughing. None of our friends understood why
we were laughing, which made it an inside joke. If they were there
when the girl was telling the story about how she farted at the
doctors, they would have understood the joke.
I love inside jokes because they can be literally anything. They could
be about the girl not liking pizza or being a vegetarian to a silly
nickname you gave her to an embarrassing story.
Inside jokes are brilliant but you can never plan for them. They just
happen during an interaction. Each inside joke is unique for every
girl. If at any point you want to bring back positive emotions try to
implement your inside joke in the conversation.
Don’t say “Remember when you farted at the doctors?”. That will
kill the joke. Instead drift the conversation to a topic which involves
your inside joke. For example, if you are talking about school you
can then talk about how you couldn’t understand your English
teachers handwriting and then drift that conversation to how
doctors have the worst handwriting. You can now say “A doctor
came to our school and I had to go for a check-up. I didn’t fart
during the check-up but I did discover I was colour-blind.” You just
casually implemented the inside joke.
Challenge Her
I know I have said it before but I’m saying it again so it sticks.
Challenge the girl every now and then. If you don’t challenge the
girl the conversation gets dull and boring, just like every other guy
she has met. You need to be different.
You don’t have to disagree with everything she says but you should
definitely speak out if you disagree with something she says. You
can even playfully challenge her where you are being sarcastic. For
example, you could say “You don’t like Justin Bieber? Uh! Justin
Bieber is the greatest musician of all time”. You are challenging her
but you are also being sarcastic.
Topics you should definitely 100% avoid challenging her at are
politics and her work. If she says she is a teacher don’t say “I hate
teachers. All they do is sit on their ass all day and get paid”. That’s
not going to go well unless you say it in an obvious tone that
showcases you are joking and if the girl is super cool. Better not risk
it.
LISTEN
LISTEN.LISTEN. LISTEN. This is one of the most important skills
you need to master. I know it sounds simple, you might even
consider yourself a good listener. If you truly are a good listener,
you should be able to talk to women for hours on end. Most people
don’t know how to listen.
Listening is a skill you develop over time. Most guys when they start
talking to a girl they fear that the conversation will die so they start
thinking of other conversation starter…WHILE THE GIRL IS
TALKING. I have been a victim of this myself and what I and many
other guys didn’t realise is that all the conversation starters where
being laid out in front of us. All you need to do is pick a word from
what the girl is saying and use that word to start a conversation. You
can’t do this when you are not listening.
When you truly listen to a girl and are invested in the interaction
you won’t even have to fish out words to use as a conversation. It
will all happen naturally. It will take time, a long time until you can
keep a conversation going naturally so don’t stress about it if you
don’t manage to make a conversation flow tomorrow.
To show her that you were listening, repeat a phrase she said or a
word she said every now and then. It builds rapport very fast with
the girl. For example, if she is telling you a story about her dad who
cut his finger with a chainsaw you can say “He cut his finger with a
chainsaw? Wow!” in a surprised manner. Obviously you heard it the
first time but you repeating it will show her you are actually
listening.
If instead you said “wow”, that will show no enthusiasm and even
though you might have been listening to her it will make it seem
like you weren’t. When you truly listen to the girl you will be able to
remember previous conversations you had which you can then refer
back to if the conversation dies.
Why So Serious?
Often times when I go out to nightclubs guys will be having the
time of their life and will be dancing and laughing and having fun,
but when it’s time to talk to a girl all that fun dies. They become all
serious because they want to “impress” the girl and show her how
“mature they are”.
We talked before about offering value when starting an interaction
and the best way to offer value is to offer fun. When you’re at a club
bursting with energy, dancing, singing and having an amazing night,
take that energy with you to the interaction with the girl. Your
interactions will be much more pleasurable and will make you more
attractive in the eyes of the girl.
When you first initially start a conversation with a woman you
should always keep it light and fun. You should never go into a deep
or controversial subject within the first few minutes of meeting her.
When in doubt ask yourself, ‘Does she feel comfortable?’ Look at
her body language for clues.
When I am my fun self when I go out, I stick with the fun women
that match my personality. I meet a few serious women but that
interaction doesn’t last very long so I excuse myself and move on.
Not every girl is right for you and if you are fun then you will attract
fun girls.
Stop treating flirting with women like a chore. An interaction should
be fun. It should be something you want to do not something you
have to do. The more you relax the more fun you will have with
women. Especially if they are cool girls.
Female Social Value
Most people are sheep who follow the crowd. If a new pair of
trainers come out and everyone is buying them, you are going to
want to buy them as well. The same applies to women. Women are
attracted to guys that other women are attracted to as well.
There is a simple way to tell women that you attract women very
subtly. Through story telling. An “innocent” story can show that you
have women in your life. For example, if you are talking about
horror movies you could say “Last night I had a friend over to watch
a movie and as she was drinking her hot chocolate there was a jump
scare in the movie and she spilled all the hot chocolate on her”.
I concentrated on the fact that a friend of mine spilled hot chocolate
during a jump scare but you know I was with a girl because I used
“she”. There is no need to describe the girl or go overboard. This
technique is subtle but very powerful.
If you said “Last night, I had a friend over. She is a really hot blonde
perfect 10. As we were watching a horror film she spilled hot cholate
on her”. Now it seems like you are trying to hard which is an
unattractive trait.
Me – You Technique
You can’t attract a girl as effectively if you don’t use the Me – You
technique. Throughout your conversation you will often times drift
off. When this happens and you are going into a conversation you
don’t want to go in you should always try to revert the conversation
back to you and her.
If she is talking about other girls in order to bring herself down, you
should bring the focus back on her. Let’s say you are talking to a
short woman but she is really cool. She starts drifting off the
conversation to her friends and how they had a great time last night
but didn’t invite her. You can then say in a teasing manner “None of
them are as tall as you though right?”. Now you put the spotlight on
her.
If she seems like she was uncomfortable with that comment you
can take the pressure off by saying “Don’t worry I’m the shortest
guy in my social circle too”. Then you can extend your hand for a
high five.
You just used the Me - You technique since you brought the
conversation back to you and her and the fact that you have a
similarity, while also breaking physical contact.
You can also use the Me – You technique to paint a picture in her
head of you two together no matter what the scenario. My favourite
line to use is “That’s it, we are getting married”. I use this line when
the girl mentions anything to do with supercars because that is an
obsession of mine. This comment is clearly false because we are not
actually going to get married but it makes her picture me and her
together.
You can even talk about things you are going to do together. For
example, if you love rock climbing and the girl you are talking to has
never been rock climbing you can just say “You’ve never been rock
climbing? That’s it we are going rock climbing together”. Don’t use
an exact date or anything that will suggest that you are saying it in
all seriousness.
What you should not do is say that you are going to do something. It
should always be something you are going to do together. “Were
going to get married” not “I’m going to marry you”. “We are going
rock climbing together” not “I’m going to take you rock climbing.
Always make it mutual.
At the end of the day even if you don’t use any of the techniques we
talked about in this chapter you can still succeed with women. It
isn’t whether you said the best pick up line in the world that will get
you the girl. It’s if you have a connection with the girl. With some
girls’ conversation will flow smoothly and you won’t have to think
about any of the techniques mentioned above. That connection is
very rare though that’s why the techniques above will help you have
better interactions with women.
Don’t stress about missed opportunities either. If you had the
opportunity to use an inside joke but you missed it, that’s fine. The
inside joke isn’t going to be the thing your interaction will be based
upon. You will have another opportunity to use the inside joke or
you can even create the opportunity.
The more you go out and talk to girls the more your own character
will start to shine. Experience will give you more peace of mind
because you won’t be thinking “Ok she said he likes Lamborghinis.
Use the Me – You technique. Now refer back to the inside joke.”
They will all come naturally as you develop your own character and
style.
Make the Girl Chase You
Every guys dream is to be a massive stud and have all the hot
supermodels chase him. Literally. The fantasy of 20 hot girls texting
you all the time and begging you for sex is just that, a fantasy.
Unless you do it right.
Making the girl chase you is a very advanced technique which
requires a lot of experience and mental power. In this chapter I am
going to show you how to make girls chase you to bring your
interactions to a whole other level.
Let Her Invest
When you first approach a girl it is obvious that you are going to put
in more effort than she will until you build trust and arousal. Once
she starts to realise that you are a cool you need transition who is
investing more in the conversation. How do you do that?
Shut up and listen.
It’s as simple as that. You need to give the girl space to invest. If you
are constantly talking and interrupting her then you are eliminating
any possibilities of her chasing, you or opening up to you. When you
ask a question sit there and listen. Don’t think about what to say
next just listen.
We talked about in the previous chapter that you should listen to
the girl so you know what to say next. If you want to make her chase
you, you must listen to the girl in order for her to continue the
conversation. You should constantly be giving her space to invest
once you have built trust and feel like you have a connection.
For a few seconds, stay silent and let her start the conversation.
These are going to be the longest most awkward seconds of your
life. The same applies to her. She won’t be able to bear the silence so
she will come up with a way to continue the conversation or break
the silence. When this happens you know that she is invested. Learn
to be comfortable with awkward silences.
It takes massive mental power to be able to stay silent for a few
seconds next to a hot girl. You will want to say something to break
the silence because you don’t want to “lose” this girl.
It is harder for her to reject you after half an hour of interacting
especially if the interaction is going great. She has already invested
this much time with you she doesn’t want to lose you. We invest
more in things we already invested a lot in.
Study shows that women speak an average of 20 000 words per day
in comparison to men who speak only 7 000 words per day.
This is an advance technique because it is not a simple line you can
say to create attraction. It is a gradual process. When you approach
a girl the investment percentage will probably be 90% on your part
and 10% on her part. Once you start teasing her the investment
from your part can drop down to 80% and 20% for her.
Slowly as you start to build trust you can let her invest more and
more in the interaction. Beware! You shouldn’t decrease your
investment in the interaction you should let her invest more. You
do this by not interrupting her.
Once you reach the point where you think you are both investing
the same amount in the interaction, it is time for you to stay silent
for a few seconds. Let her start the conversation. By staying silent it
seems as if you are losing interest. If she desperately tries to revive
the conversation you can be sure she is attracted to you.
Don’t Play Her Game
Tease her as much as possible. Teasing and challenging her will
make her chase you like crazy. It doesn’t have to be verbal.
For example, if she wants to kiss you and leans in to kiss you then
you can pull back and say “I don’t know if I know you that well”.
This will make her go crazy. I don’t think she would ever have a guy
pull back on her since most guys are needy and always crave a make
out.
Not only will it show that you are the dominant male in control it
shows that you are not needy. You rejecting her kiss shows her that
you don’t desperately crave her validation. Once you pull back you
and tease her you can then go for the kiss a few seconds later.
Always tease and act like the object of desire. It will drive her crazy
more than anything else.
Humans are like cats. When a cat sees a cotton ball moving it chases
after it. When the ball is still and is easy to obtain the cat shows no
interest. Not being easy to obtain and constantly teasing her
whether she can have you or not will make her more attracted to
you.
Exchanging Numbers Without Being
Awkward
After you have had a great interaction with a girl you will want to
keep in touch with her so you are going to want to exchange
numbers. It isn’t as simple as asking for her number though and
you will see why in this chapter.
I don’t like the phrase “getting the girls number”. It makes it seem
as if the girls number is the trophy you achieve after defeating the
ultimate boss. “Getting the girls number” shouldn’t be your priority
when interacting with a girl. Your priority is to have as much fun as
possible and offer fun to the girl.
You shouldn’t try to exchange numbers with a girl just to boost your
ego. The amount of numbers you get from girls are worthless. It’s
the quality of the girls behind the numbers that truly matter. It
doesn’t matter if you have 100 numbers. If none of those number
respond to your texts, then that says something about your game.
Guys tend to assume that the amount of numbers you get
corresponds with how good you are with women. This is bullshit. If
you get 20 numbers on a night out and the next day only 2 girls
respond to your text, then you don’t seem like the player you think
you are.
I would much rather get 3 numbers with 3 reply’s back and possibly
a date.
The relationship you have between that girl is the most important
part, the number is just a means of communication. It’s not how
fast you get the number, it about how good of an interaction you
had with the girl and how to best yourself to have even better
interaction with future girls.
You shouldn’t try to exchange numbers with girl you have no
intention of texting. It is pointless and the only reason you would do
that is to fuel your ego. The validation of her giving you her number
will give you a temporary high and will make you feel less insecure.
Attractive men don’t use women to get validation. Only exchange
numbers with girls you think are cool and that you would like to
hang out with or further get to know.
After reading this book and applying everything you have learnt you
will start to get a lot of numbers on your phone. Don’t fall into the
trap of bragging about the amount of numbers you have on your
phone. Always stay humble and try to better yourself and your
game.
You will get tons of real numbers but you will also get some fake
numbers. This is perfectly natural. Sometimes the girl will feel like
she is obliged to give you her number and it is easier for her to give
you a fake number rather than turn you down on the spot. Don’t get
butt hurt, you will have more real numbers than fake if you do
things right.
Now that you understand if you truly want to exchange numbers
with a girl it’s time to actually do so.
Time
The number one key to getting girls number is time. The more time
you spend with her the more trust you build between you and her. A
number for a girl is valuable to her and only shares it with people
she knows. She won’t share it with a random guy she met for 2
minutes in a nightclub.
If she gives out her number to any guy, then the next day she will be
bombarded with needy texts she doesn’t want to respond to. You are
different however. Because after spending enough time with her
you won’t be the random guy at the nightclub you will be John or
Mark or whatever your name is from the nightclub.
If you show her throughout your interactions that you are not needy
then she won’t hesitate to give you her number since she knows you
won’t be sending needy text messages the next day.
If she does hesitate or doesn’t want to exchange numbers with you
this could be because you either haven’t built enough trust with the
girl or you haven’t given her enough time. The mistake guys make is
they want to go talk to a girl for 5 minutes get her number and
leave. If you ask for the number too early then you will most likely
not get it.
Let’s Exchange Numbers
Every guy is always worried about how they should ask for the girl’s
number. The answer is…you shouldn’t. You should never ask the
girl for her number. When you “ask” someone for something it
always implies that you are taking something away from them or
you are trying to benefit from them.
Instead of asking the girl for her number you should always say
“Let’s exchange numbers” or “We should exchange numbers”. It
seems like such a minor thing but this phrase alone increased the
amount of numbers on my phone. The fact that you aren’t asking
for her number shows dominance.
This is very powerful because you are subconsciously
communicating “Let’s do something together”. The exchange of the
numbers is a mutual thing. you aren’t taking something away from
the girl.
If you take away just one thing from this chapter, make it this
phrase. You can skip everything else in this chapter and still get
amazing results only using this phrase. I would recommend you
read everything to increase the amount of girls you exchange
numbers with.
High Note
When you decide to exchange number make sure you do it on a high
note during the conversation. When you are both laughing and
having a good time just say “Hey. You’re pretty cool we should
exchange numbers” while you pull your phone out. If she is
genuinely enjoying your company she won’t protest. Sometimes
however they do.
Hesitation
There are times when the girl will not want to exchange numbers
with you for a million different reasons. She might have just wanted
a good time without anything more, she might have recently gotten
out of a relationship and isn’t ready to move on, there are honestly a
million different reasons.
The girl you have been flirting with could be married but she
wanted to experience what it was like to get hit on again. Even
though they could be a million different reasons sometimes it is just
a test.
Hot girls get approached all the time. If they gave out their number
to every guy that asked for it then their phone would not stop
buzzing with creepy needy messages. The girl needs a way to filter
out the needy with the cool guys. She does this by testing you.
Judging by your reaction they determine if you past the test or not.
Such test can be “I have a boyfriend.” or “Why?”. There are times
where the girl will truly have a boyfriend but if she did would she
really be flirting with you?
To pass these test you need to show no reaction. Humour can
always help you pass test like these. A great response to “I have a
boyfriend” is “Me too”. You need to say it with a slight smirk on
your face to show the girl that you are just joking. Another great
response is “What’s his name?”. If she takes a few seconds to reply
you can call her out on lying. If she answers instantly there is a high
chance she has a boyfriend.
There are endless phrases girls use to test you when exchanging
numbers. “I don’t give out my number”, “why don’t you give me
your number?” and the list goes on and on. If you can’t think of a
funny response you can just ignore her comment. You can still pass
her test by pretending you didn’t hear her.
A funny response to “why” is anything you find funny. It doesn’t
matter as long as you show that you aren’t going to act like a bitch
because of her test. I would say “Because I make great soup. You
will never get to taste it if we don’t exchange numbers”. I don’t even
know how to cook.
Risk
Women take lower risks than men. The anterior cingulate cortex,
the part of the brain that weighs options when making a decision, is
larger in women than men. That is why a woman will think twice
about giving you her number, leaving the club with you, making out
with you etc.
You can eliminate any chance of making her think you are needy by
displaying attractive behaviour. When you tell her “Let’s exchange
numbers” add a qualifying question or statement to show your non
neediness and that you are the object of desire.
Once you go to hand out your phone to her pull back and ask her
“Wait! What’s my name?” or “Wait you’re not going to send me
needy messages are you?”. These questions are perfect because they
qualify her and they show her that you don’t give your number to
just any girl.
Decrease Pressure
The worst possible place to exchange numbers with a girl is near her
friends are around. You should never exchange numbers with the
girl when her friends are right next to her because she will most
likely not give you her number, no matter how much she likes you.
You are putting too much pressure on the girl and you are running a
high risk of her being slut shamed by her friends.
In her mind her friends are thinking “Wow what a slut. She is going
to give her number to a random guy she met at the nightclub?”.
There are rare occasions where the girl will exchange numbers with
you in front of her friends but these occasions are extremely rare.
What you should do in this scenario is to take her away from her
friends using the phrase “Me and (girls name) are just going to see
pictures of my dog real quick”. Once you have taken a few steps
away from the group then you should exchange numbers. The girl
will love you for it.
If you can’t take her away from the group and you still want to
exchange numbers, you can decrease the pressure of her friends by
turning her back on them. Her friends are still behind her but her
back acts as a shield which will lower the pressure of the situation.
Save Her Name Under an Inside Joke
A cool thing I like to do when I exchange numbers with a girl is to
save their name under an inside joke. This way I have something to
remember her by which will come in use when we are going to text
her.
Throughout your time of interacting with girls you will come to
realise that a lot of the girls you will exchange numbers with will
have the same name. You don’t want to have 10 different Jessica’s
saved on your phone.
The One Thing You Should NEVER Do
There is one thing you should never do when it comes to
exchanging numbers. NEVER say thank you. I know we have been
brought up to have manners but when you exchange numbers with
a girl saying thank you will make it seem as if you have taken
something from her. When exchanging numbers, we don’t want
that. We want it to be a mutual casual thing.
No matter what, don’t say thank you.
Instead of A Number
We are living in the 21st century. People don’t really exchange
numbers as much as they used to. We are living our life through
social media. Instead of exchanging numbers it is better to exchange
social media for many reasons.
Exchanging social media is a way less pressured situation for the
girl. Our social media isn’t as private as our phone number. There is
a higher chance a girl will give you her Instagram than her number.
No one would say no to an extra follower.
By having her Instagram, you get to see if she is actually a cool girl
that you would like to hang out with more or not, by browsing her
feed. Not only that but it lets her know that you are a cool guy. Once
a girl exchanges Instagram’s with you, you can be sure that she will
check out your profile and latest pictures. When she scrolls through
your Instagram and realises you’re a cool guy she is more subject to
open up to you since she knows you aren’t a creep.
This however means that you need to upgrade your Instagram
profile. Your Instagram page should consist of awesome high
quality photos of you and things you are interested in. It needs to let
the girl know that you are a cool guy that has an awesome life. You
don’t have to show off on your Instagram, you just have to show
who you are. Have pictures of you at the club having fun or you
laughing with some friends or you hanging out with women. You
should project social value in your pictures.
Instagram is the best way to communicate to the woman that you
aren’t just a boring guy with no life. Best part is you don’t even have
to brag about it, she will find out by herself.
After You Exchange Numbers
DO NOT LEAVE! Right after you exchange numbers you will feel
the urge to leave. If you do it will seem like your only purpose in
interacting with the girl was to get a number to fuel your ego.
Instead stay there and talk for a few more minutes. This will show
her that the number isn’t a trophy for you it is just a means of
communication.
Imagine if a relative you haven’t seen for months knocks on your
door. You sit down have a cup of coffee and talk for 10 minutes and
then they ask you for money. You give them the money they needed
and they leave immediately. This will make you feel as if they didn’t
sit down and have a coffee with you because they wanted to, it was
because they needed the money.
Instead if your relative sat down an extra 20 minutes after you have
given them the money it will show their appreciation more and it
will make you feel that they sat and had a coffee with you because
they wanted to not because they needed money from you.
After you get her number stay and tease her a bit more. Try to give
her some positive emotions before you leave so the last memory she
has of you is a positive one.
You should always try to end your interactions first. This will leave
the girl wanting more especially after you have given her positive
emotions. It also shows your dominance. You don’t have to just
leave out of the blue. You can simply use the excuse “My friends are
waiting on me so I better get going”.
Now you have successfully exchanged numbers with a girl you are
attracted to. It’s time to text that number.
How to Text a Girl to Build Attraction
So you have exchanged numbers or social media with a girl. Now
what?
Most guys get too caught up on random bullshit texting rules the
dating community has made up. The PUA’s say you should wait 24
hours to text the girl and you shouldn’t put emoji’s and your text
should contain perfect grammar etc. It’s all bullshit.
It doesn’t matter if you take 24 hours to text her or 24 minutes. The
fact is she will get the text either way. It’s what you text that is more
important. My personal preference is to text a girl after 7pm. This is
when people aren’t usually busy. If you text a girl throughout the
day expect her to reply late since people are busiest throughout the
day. They go to work, they do their groceries, they might go to the
gym etc.
I wouldn’t recommend texting a girl on a Friday or Saturday night
because most girls are going out on these days. If you text her on a
Friday night you are subconsciously saying “I have nothing better to
do on a Friday night so I am texting, you”. If you really want to text
her on a Friday night for whatever reason I recommend you start
the conversation off with “I am at this club and…” or “I’m getting
ready to go out …”. This shows that you aren’t sitting alone at home
waiting for her to text back like a needy guy.
Purpose of Texting
The main purpose of texting is not to have a long deep conversation
with the girl. The only purpose of texting is to get the girl out on a
date. If you’re in high school, then sure text the girl and try to have
a conversation with her over text but if you’re a man you should use
texting to get her out. Leave the conversation to when you meet up.
This doesn’t mean however that your second text should be you
setting up a date. You shouldn’t start a conversation you should
however tease her and be flirty with her through text. This will give
her all the positive emotions she needs to agree to meet up with
you. More on that later.
The First Text
Many guys stress over the first text and sit there endlessly thinking
of the perfect first text. The first text is the most important text. If
the girl is attractive, then you are most likely not the only guy
texting her. You are however most likely the only non-needy guy
texting her. You must send a low investment text that doesn’t end in
a question mark to show that you aren’t like all the other needy
guys. What do I mean by low investment text?
A low investment text is a simple text which you didn’t have to put a
lot of thought into. You don’t have to send the “perfect text”. I
usually send a text referencing something we talk about throughout
our interaction. This will bring back all the positive emotions she
experienced when we were together.
Avoid asking a question on the first text. Instead text a statement. If
your first text has a question mark in the end, then the girl will feel
obligated to text back. If, however you send her a simple statement
she can choose to ignore it. This is a perfect way to see if the girl is
interested or not.
There are times where a girl will ignore your text even if you had a
great interaction. When this happens guys get confused as to why
they do this. The reason is because of their emotional drives. Have
you ever been in a situation where you are texting a girl and she
takes a while to reply to your text but once you are in an argument
with her, her replies are almost instant. This is because of her
emotional drive.
When you were interacting with the girl you would have given her
positive emotions and kept her interested. The next day though
when you text her, her emotions might be flat. If they are she won’t
feel the urge to text you back and will probably forget to text you
later. Even if she had the best interaction with you last night, if she
isn’t feeling it she won’t text you back.
There are some texts you should NEVER send. The worst one is
“Hey, it’s John from the bar last night. I was wearing a red shirt
remember me?”. This is the neediest text you could possibly send
the girl. Sure it seems sweet and innocent and you might be
thinking if she was drunk the night before she might have not
remembered you, but this text screams “Give me validation”.
Instead you should send your statement or a reference to something
you talked about in your interaction and then just add your name on
the end.
Instagram
If you are going to text a girl through Instagram or other social
media, you have advantage of sending photos and videos. You can
always start the conversation by sending her a funny photo.
Sometimes I like to send a funny 4 second video. I have a specific
video I send which always makes me and everyone I show it to
laugh. You can be sure the girl laughed at the video if she replies.
Not only does sending a funny video separate me from all the other
guys it also gives her positive emotions that she associates with me.
If you’re stuck, find a short funny video and send her that.
When she is scrolling through her DM’s all she is going to see is
needy text messages from guys and then she will see your message
“sent a photo”. Girls are curious, she will click on it.
Once she laughs you have just given her positive emotions no other
guy has given her on a first text. What is lower investment than a
simple funny photo. Again she doesn’t have to reply to it but I bet
you she will.
Waiting
When I first started getting girls numbers. I would text them and
would just wait. What I didn’t realise at the time is that waiting is
the worst possible thing you can do. I would start to overthink and
become very negative “The girl isn’t interested”, “She is probably
talking to other guys” etc.
When you have sent your first text don’t just sit there and wait for a
text back. Even if you have been talking for a while you shouldn’t
wait for any girl’s text back. You need to realise that the girl has a
life too. She could still be at work, in the gym, cooking, at a family
gathering, shopping, having a shower, eating, reading, her phone is
on mute, driving. There are a million different reason that are
holding her back from replying to you.
The worst possible thing you could do that will lose all her
attraction towards you is to keep bombarding her with needy
messages until she replies. “Why are you not replying?” “Are you
there?” “Why are you ignoring me” etc. These kind of texts
subconsciously tell her “I have no other girls in my life so I am
going to sit here on my phone waiting for you to reply because I
have nothing better to do”. That doesn’t sound very attractive does
it.
Instead what the attractive man does is goes out and has fun. He
lives his life. He doesn’t spend hours waiting for a girl he has talked
to for an hour reply to his message. He pursues his hobbies and
passion, he reads a book, watches a film, spends time with family
and friends and many more, instead of staring at his phone waiting
for a text message that will give him validation.
Now that you know what to text it is important to know what you
shouldn’t do when texting a girl.
Paragraphs
If the majority of texts on the screen is coming from you it shows
that you are way more invested than she is. One sided texting is
when you are sending paragraphs and she texting back a one-line
text. It shows that you are putting so much effort into starting a
conversation with her but she isn’t reciprocating that effort.
If you find yourself sending paragraphs, try to tone back a little and
let her invest a bit. Slowly decrease the amount of text you send.
Remember you aren’t trying to have a long conversation with her
you are purely trying to get her to meet up with you.
Don’t Text Her Every Day
Give her some space. The reason girls rarely give out their numbers
is to not get bombarded with texts everyday 24/7. Don’t text her for
a day, give her some space after you have had a little back and forth
texting. You give her a chance to miss you even slightly. If you are
free to text her every single day 24/7 is says something about how
interesting your life is.
Calling
I am not a big fan of calling girls. Many guys have success by doing
this because it adds a new depth to the interaction. It is better to
hear someone’s voice rather than read their texts. However, the
reason I don’t call girls is because it is a too high pressure situation
for a girl. She could be very insecure and not pick up the phone
because “Her voice doesn’t sound good” or some bullshit excuse. I
know a girl that won’t pick up the phone unless she is wearing
make-up. The girl might not even have time to talk to you on the
phone.
My advice is if the conversation through text is going amazing and
you have both been replying pretty fast, then I suggest you ask her if
it’s cool to call her first. She won’t be hit with that element of
surprise and put the phone down because of the pressure. Use a
time restriction too.
“I’m going to call you real quick because I don’t want to text” or just
give her any reason whatsoever. Wait for her to reply “Sure” and
then you just call her. During texting, your main purpose is to get
her out on a date. When talking on the phone however you have the
opportunity to have a great conversation since her replies will be
instant. After your conversation you set up the date.
Setting Up a Date
You have been texting back and forth or talking on the phone and
everything is going great you want to go on a date with this girl.
Asking the girl out may seem slightly intimidating at first but over
time you will overcome your fear of setting up dates.
While you are texting the girl you will want to make sure you have
given her some positive emotions by either teasing and flirting with
her or making her laugh. You will then send a text message saying
“What are you doing later?” or “What are you doing Wednesday
night?”. Her reply will be similarly to one of two replies.
She will either reply with a plan she has set up for later or she will
reply with “Nothing”.
If she replies with “I’m going to the cinema later” she is either
actually going to the cinema or she is making up an excuse for you
not to ask her out. Either way don’t get butt hurt you can always try
again in a few days. Stay in a positive mood. You don’t have to
completely end all interactions between you and the girl because
she didn’t agree to go out with you once.
If, however her reply is “Nothing” that means she is expecting you
to ask her out and you should do it immediately. Remember you
need to show your dominance. Just like when exchanging numbers,
you should never ask the girl out on a date. Instead say “Let’s grab a
coffee Wednesday night”. If she agrees then you can work out the
details.
You need to show that you don’t go on a date with any woman. You
do this by adding a statement that will make her qualify herself. All
you have to do is say “Only if you’re cool” or “As long as you don’t
turn out to be a psycho”.
The finally text should look like this:
“Let’s grab coffee Wednesday night, as long as you don’t turn out to
be a psycho”
You can see that you qualifying the girl takes the pressure off the
situation. If you say “Do you want to go on a date on Wednesday?”
this puts too much pressure on the girl. With the text above you
show dominance and also take the pressure of the girl.
Now that you have successfully managed to set up a date it is time
to go on that date.
How to Set-Up the Perfect First Date
This is what everything has been leading to. The approach, the
number exchange, the texting back and forth. It all led up to the
date. The date can be very intimidating for most. As long as you
follow these 3 simple rules, your dates are going to be the most fun
you’ve had in a while.
Rule #1 : The Amount of Money You Spend Doesn’t Equal the
Amount of Fun a Girl Will Have with You
Many men have the mentality of a “Hollywood gentleman”. If I ask
you to describe a typical date you will most likely describe
something along the lines of taking a girl to a fancy expensive
restaurant, with a flower in the middle of your table, you pay for the
bill which is way more than you can afford and then you drive her
home.
Get this mentality out of your head. If your dates consist of what I
just described, then you better take notes.
The reason men spend a lot of money on girls is because they are
simply insecure. They believe that the only way to get the girl to like
them is by buying their way into their affection. This makes me so
frustrated.
While reading this book you would have picked up the fact that
women like confident men who do not seek validation. Spending a
lot of money on a girl you just met shows that you have the exact
opposite qualities of an attractive man. We talked about the fact
that women do not give a shit about whether you’re rich or not.
Women don’t go on dates with guys to eat something expensive
they go on dates with guys to have fun. Think about it, if you were a
woman would you agree to spend two or more hours with someone
you had no interest in just to eat a 40$ steak?
I usually spend a maximum of 10$ when I go out on a first date. I
even had instance where the girl pays for my coffee which brought
my total spending cost to $0.
Get the reality of spending big amounts of money in order to make
her attracted out of your head. You don’t need to buy her gifts or an
expensive meal for the first date. Leave that for when you are in a
relationship.
Rule #2 : Stop Stressing About Where to Take the Girl
Before I discovered the secrets of dating, I would rarely get dates
with girls. When I did I would stress over where to take them and
while the date was taking place I would be stressing whether it was
“good enough” or not.
We already established that you should never take her to a fancy
expensive restaurant so where should you take her?
The date isn’t determined by what you do, where you go or how
much money you spend. It’s about how much fun you have with the
girl.
Keep your date simple. It could be a walk in the park or just sit on a
couple of swings, you could go for a game of pool then go to a park,
come to your house, you could go for a coffee it doesn’t matter as
long as you keep it simple.
If you have a park with a bench or some swings near your house,
then you can pick her up or find a way to meet at that park. If not,
you can meet for a coffee at a coffee shop you go to very often. This
way you can get social value from the staff you have befriended
earlier. I like to keep the date close to my house so if all goes well I
can bring the girl back to my house.
The girl isn’t going on a date with you because of where you are
going to go. She is going on a date with you because she wants to
spend time with you.
Rule #3: Have Fun
No explanation needed. The most important rule is to have fun.
don’t worry if the date is good enough or if you said the wrong
thing. As long as you have fun so will the girl.
Will She Show Up
Before I discovered “pick up” I had a dream that I was about to go
on a date with a girl I really liked. We agreed to meet up at a cinema
and when I arrived there she was nowhere to be found. Ever since I
had that dream I had a subconscious fear of being set up.
I have overcome my fear but many guys still fear the girl flaking on
them. If you are dating multiple girls at once then eventually you
will find a girl that will flake on you. There is nothing you can do
about it. It doesn’t matter if she sets you up or not what matters is
how you deal with it.
A cool little trick to find out if a girl might set you up or not is to
text her a few hours before you plan on meeting saying you are
going to be a couple minutes late. This reminds her of the date (just
in case she forgot) and gives her an opportunity to say “Sorry I can’t
make it”. If she says “That’s no problem” then she is not planning
on setting you up.
If the girl can’t make it then great, you have more time for yourself.
You can sit and watch a movie or read a book or even try to set up a
quick date with another girl. Don’t get butt hurt over one girl that
couldn’t go out with you. Time is valuable so make use of it.
If you show up at the meet up place and she doesn’t show up don’t
get butt hurt. Use this time wisely. If you were planning to meet at a
coffee shop, then buy a coffee and relax by yourself or read a book
on your phone. I always have a book on my phone just in case I am
ever bored I can just read.
If you were going to meet at a shopping centre go shop for
something you wanted. If you don’t have the money you can always
look. Sometimes it’s relaxing to go window shopping by yourself.
Who knows, you might even see an attractive girl and approach her.
Never waste your time.
If you have set up your date at a place that’s 5 minutes away from
your house it won’t be a problem if the girl sets you up. You are only
5 minutes away anyway.
The Girl Is Here
Once the girl arrives relax. This was very hard for me when I was
young. Every time I would go on a date with a girl I liked I would
always shiver and shake because I was so nervous. I would try to
hide it because I wanted to project confidence. If the girl ever caught
be shaking I would use the excuse that I was cold.
When your nervous your mind goes blank. Relax and let everything
fall into place. Realise that nothing bad will happen, nothing will
physically hurt you and try to have fun.
The girl is on a date with you because she likes you. That’s all you
need to think about. You are on a date with a beautiful girl, you have
already won. Whatever happens afterwards is just a bonus.
What Do I Say
The purpose of going on a date with a girl is to get to know her and
then maybe get down and dirty but for now you are getting to know
her. You want to make the date as chill as possible. You want to let
the girl loosen up and be herself.
I recommend you start teasing her and flirting with her the first half
an hour and once the girl is comfortable with you she will start
opening up to you. You must allow her to let you in her world.
When she opens up to you about all kinds of subjects she will feel a
deeper connection with you.
Some subjects I like to talk about on dates to allow the girl to open
herself up are:
Her passions
Her fears
Family
Ambitions
Dreams
Past experiences
If you cover all these subjects in one date, she will feel like she has
known you for years. With every subject you let her relive different
emotions. This will bring you and the girl closer together.
Last Tips
If you go to a coffee shop and she wants to pay, then say no once. If she
insists on paying, then it is fine to let her pay. It doesn’t take away your
manhood if you let the woman pay. A er she does pay you can say “Next
me I’m paying”. This gets her thinking about a next me. Do try to be the
one to pay though
Don’t stare at other girls throughout your date. You are there with a girl,
concentrate on her.
Try to posi on yourself close to her. If you are si ng opposite her, you can
use the excuse of having to show her something on your phone to sit
closer or next to her. You should always aim to sit close to her so you can
escalate physically on her. You don’t want to end up in the friend zone.
Always carry chewing gum with you.
Show dominance throughout your date. Lead her to your des na on don’t
ask her to come.
My Dates
My date usually consists of me picking the girl up and taking her for
a coffee at a coffee shop where everyone knows me. Every time I go
for a coffee with a girl at least 3 people approach me and start
conversation with me. This gives me social value and makes me
look more attractive in her eyes.
Afterwards I take the girl to a park near my place with a white bench
we always sit on. I love this place because not many people pass
through the park. It’s a very private place where we can talk for
hours without interruption and we can make out, without the girl
feeling like she is judged.
There is no expensive dinner or awkward food stuck between your
teeth or a table separating us. It’s just me the girl and some coffee. I
have been on different kinds of dates but I enjoy this simple date
the most.
If the situation allows it, I take the girl back to my place and see
where the night takes us.
At the end of the day the more relaxed you are when you are on the
date the more fun you will have and the more you will enjoy it. the
outcome of the date depends on the girl. If she is cool, then you will
have a great date. If she turns out to be bitchy and stuck up, you will
probably have a terrible date and will most likely be glad you didn’t
spend time worrying about the date.
The Socially Acceptable Way to Bring a Girl
Home
Your interaction with the girl is going amazing. There is sexual
tension between you and you have been flirting for the past hour.
It’s time for the next step. It’s time to bring her home.
Taking A Girl Home from A Date
Transitioning from the date to your house is more socially
acceptable when you have been on a date with the girl. If the girl
leaves with you from the nightclub after 1 hour of interacting with
you she will subconsciously consider herself a slut. If she does this
after a date however she won’t feel slut shamed.
After you have been on your date and you have built enough sexual
tension between you, you will both want to move on to the next
step. You can’t however say “Do you want to come round my house
and have sex?” This is way to forward and the girl will probably
never want to see you again. In her mind you just brought her out
on a date to have sex with her.
You need to use an “excuse” to bring her to your place. The girl deep
down knows that the “excuse” is just that. A way to make it more
socially acceptable for her to come round your place. This could be
anything, “You need to see my dog. Let’s go to my apartment and
you can meet him”. The girl isn’t stupid she knows that you are
bringing her over to your apartment to physically escalate on her.
You could take the pressure off even more if you make her qualify
herself. “You need to see my dog. Let’s go to my apartment, only if
you’re cool”. You need to make an excuse she can use to tell her
friends the next day. When she is describing to her friend what
happened she can’t say “He asked me to come round his apartment
and I did”. Her friends will judge her and slut shame her.
If, however she says “I went round his apartment to see his dog. He
was adorable. Then one thing led to another”. This sounds more
socially acceptable. She can blame it on you and you should let her
blame it on you.
Taking A Girl Home from The Nightclub
You must realise that taking a girl home from a nightclub is
extremely difficult. It doesn’t just require skill but it also requires
some luck. It isn’t impossible though. You can’t just find a girl and
bring her home. I wish it was that simple.
The Three Stages of the Night
A hot girl’s night is separated into three stages.
Stage 1: This is the start of the night for the girl. She is just trying to
settle down and get used to the environment. She hasn’t drunk
anything yet and is just there to socialise with her friends.
Stage 2: This is when she starts to have a bit of fun. She has had a
few drinks and is enjoying the place. She has spent time in the
nightclub so she has gotten used to it.
Stage 3: This is the stage where everything starts to die down and
she is ready to leave the club.
You should also have 3 stages of your night. This is what they
should look like
Stage 1: This is when the night has just started. This is the perfect
time to start befriending people. You can do this at the waiting line
or in the club. What you should aim to do here is just offer fun and
start befriending everyone.
Stage 2: At this stage you are allowed to start flirting. Try to find a
hot girl you are attracted to and start approaching. The girls are in a
good mood because they have gotten used to their environment.
They are drinking and having fun. At this stage of the night girls are
spontaneous. You can also go back to the groups you befriended and
find a hot girl. You don’t even have to get the group on your side
because you befriended them earlier
Stage 3: This is when the night is dying down and the girl want to go
home. You can only bring a girl to your place at this stage. You
shouldn’t attempt to bring a girl home at neither stage 1 or stage 2.
If you try to bring a girl home at stage 1 she will think you are a
creep. She hasn’t managed to even have a bit of fun and you are
already trying to take her away.
You shouldn’t attempt to bring a girl home at stage 2 either because
at this point she is having fun. You don’t want to take that away
from her. She is having a great time she will most likely not sacrifice
her fun in order to go to a random guy’s house.
First Part of the Night
If you are planning on taking a girl home from a nightclub your plan
should start before you even enter the nightclub. What I mean by
this is you need to create social value. You do this by befriending the
bouncers and the bartenders of the club. This isn’t a necessary step
but it is a step that will greatly help you later on.
From the moment you step into the nightclub you should be social
and start befriending people. You shouldn’t think about flirting with
any girls just yet. For now, befriend as many people as possible. This
is just to build more and more social value. It isn’t the time of the
night to start flirting with girls. It is still too early.
Make sure you leave the group on a high note so you leave them
wanting more. When you leave while you are having a great time
with the group their last impression of you will be a positive one.
Second Part of the Night
This is the time to start approaching some girls. I find that if you are
having the time of your life and you are the heart and soul of the
party the girls will come to you. Once you find a girl and you are
having a great time laughing, teasing and being sexual you need to
find out some vital information about her.
Relationship Status
You must find out whether she is in a relationship or not. Some
girls might have boyfriends but they will still flirt with you. I respect
when a woman is in a relationship. I would never be sexual in any
way with a woman if she is in a relationship. I recommend you do
the same.
You need to find out if she is in a relationship or not. You can’t
however ask her up front “Do you have a boyfriend?”. If the girl has
been enjoying your company and is attracted to you, even if she
does have a boyfriend there is a high possibility she might lie to you.
This is because she loves the validation and if she admits to having
a boyfriend you will most likely leave her. In fact, study shows that
68% of women say they would have an affair if they could get away
with it.
The best way to find out if she genuinely is in a relationship is to
ask the question without having to ask the question. What I mean
by this is to phrase your question in a manner that doesn’t put
pressure on the girl. If the girl is very young you can ask “how long
have you been married?”. Obviously this is humorous because there
isn’t a high chance of her being married. This gives her the
opportunity to say “I’m not married yet but I’ve been with my
boyfriend for 1 year”.
Another great way to find out if she is in a relationship or not is to
ask “When was your last relationship?” or “How long was your
longest relationship?”. She could reply with “Well the relationship
I’m in now had been going for 6 months”. This shows she has a
boyfriend.
There are many ways to ask the girl if she is in a relationship
without actually having to ask if she is in a relationship. Be very
subtle when you ask the question so the girl gives you a genuine
answer. When you are asking the girl upfront if she has a boyfriend
or not it is as if to say “Are you even worth my time to stay or
should I go?”
There will be times where the girl will say she has a boyfriend just
to test you. We already established what you need to do when girls
test you earlier.
Understand Her Situation
Once you know she is single it is time to figure out if it is possible to
even sleep with the girl based on the situation she is in.
Firstly, you must figure out who she is with. If she is with a bunch
of work colleges or a big group of friends, they won’t be very
concerned about her leaving. However, if she is with her best friend
at the nightclub it will be extremely difficult for you to bring her to
your house. She won’t leave her best friend to go home by herself all
because of some stranger she met at the nightclub. If this happens
to be the case, then exchange numbers with the girl and you can set
up a date where you can bring her home from the date.
You must also figure out if she is free tomorrow morning. If she has
work in the morning she won’t be able to sleep over at your house.
She will want to be at her house where she is comfortable and can
get ready for work. If it turns out that she is on vacation or is free
tomorrow morning, then your chances of taking her to your place
are increasing.
Lastly you need to find out where she is staying. You need to use the
technique of asking the question without having to ask the
question. Instead of asking “Where do you live” which will come
across as creepy you could ask “Are you staying at (hotel name)?”.
You could also say “You have an accent. You’re not from around
here are you?”. This could even be your opening line.
If she lives fairly close to you then you can bring her to your place.
If she lives 3 hours away it will not be convenient for her to sleep
over. You could always still have sex at your place but will she really
want to drive back in the middle of the night or the next day?
Once you have found a girl that ticks all the boxes it is time to
commit to that girl and bring her home. If you have found a girl that
passes all the criteria, don’t go wandering off approaching another
girl because she is hotter. Stick to that girl because you might end
up losing both.
The Yes Yes Yes Method
That is what the girl will be saying at the end of the night but we
haven’t reached that part yet. In sales there is a method where if
you get a customer to answer yes 3 times consecutively throughout
your interaction, they are more inclined to buy your product.
For example, if you want to sell a car you can say “Doesn’t white
just make this car look that much better looking?”. The customer
will reply “Yes” and you can later say “You wanted speed. Is this car
fast enough?” which the customer will reply “Yes” and so on until
the customer will say “I’ll buy it”. You should word your questions
so the answer is always yes.
This works similarly with the girl. You must baby step your way
through getting to your place. You can’t say “Let’s go to my place”
this is too much pressure for the girl. You must slowly guide her to
your place. It must feel like an adventure for her.
When you are in the club you can say “Let’s go someplace quieter”.
You grab her hand and lead her towards someplace quitter. If she
doesn’t pull back, then this is her first yes. She might say “I can’t
leave my friends” or “I can’t leave the club” while she is walking
with you then this is just her subconscious mind trying to make
everything socially acceptable. You should ignore this and carry on
or say something like “Don’t worry, adventure”.
If, however the girl says “I can’t leave my friends” and she pulls
back or uses force in any way to stop you then you should let her go.
This doesn’t mean that she doesn’t like you it just means that she
needs to know more information about what’s happening. It could
also mean that you need to give her more time to trust you
depending on the situation. When she pulls back you need to
reassure her of exactly where you are going. You should say “Don’t
worry we are just going to go outside so we can talk more freely. The
music is too loud”. Be genuine with her because she is trusting you
more than ever in this situation.
Once she has agreed to go somewhere quieter you can chat for a bit
and then suggest to go somewhere to take a bite, McDonald’s for
example. When you arrive at McDonald’s then that it her second
yes. You can then transition to someplace private or your car. As
long as you keep transitioning to places you will keep stacking your
yes’s.
Again if she follows you to McDonald’s, or wherever you decide to
get some food from, she might say “Oh no I can’t leave my friends”.
She doesn’t mean it if she is walking along with you. She only
means it if she pulls back in a physical way. She will use an excuse
not to come with you to make it socially acceptable.
Don’t trust a woman’s words, trust her actions.
If she is genuinely concerned about her friends tell her to text them
and let them know what you are going to be doing and where you
will be going. Again be genuine with her on where you are going and
what you are going to do. Use a time constant “Real quick” to make
it easier for her to make a decision.
When it comes time to transition to your place you must use an
excuse to make it socially acceptable for the girl to agree on coming
with you just like you would if you were bringing her to your place
from a date.
Planting The Seed
There is a technique called planting the seed. This is when you say
something throughout the conversation with the girl which you can
reference later in your conversation so it isn’t abrupt.
For example, as you are talking you can say “Yeah I have a party in
an hour” and continue the conversation. Later on if you say “Hey
you should come to the party I’m going to in a bit”. This way it
doesn’t seem like you invited her to a party out of the blue. If you
didn’t plant the seed beforehand then asking the girl to come to a
party with you will seem too forward.
Plant the seed while you are at McDonalds’s or sitting at a bench.
You could say for example “My dog is adorable. If you’re lucky you
might get to meet him”. After another 20 minutes of talking and
possibly making out you could say. “You know what. You’re pretty
cool. Let’s go to my apartment, you can meet my dog and you might
even get to pet him”. Because you already planted the seed it doesn’t
put that much pressure on the girl. You also used an excuse other
than sex to get her to your place.
Adding a statement to qualify herself at the end will give her that
extra reassurance that, you don’t just take any girls to your place.
Add “Only if you’re cool” or “Only if you’re good with dogs” at the
end.
The girl knows that you don’t want her over just to meet your dog.
She knows you want sex but so does she. Lead her to your car or if
your place is within walking distance, lead her to your place. Keep
chatting and having a good time till you arrive at your place.
Time
We talked earlier about how important time is and how the more
time you spend with a girl the more she trusts you. With this in
mind, don’t expect to approach a girl at a nightclub and have her at
your house naked on your bed within 20 minutes.
All this might sound complicated and time consuming, finding out if
she is singe, figuring out if she lives far away, if she has work
tomorrow then taking her out of the club then transitioning to your
car or to your place. It is time consuming but it is worth it.
If you bring the girl over after 2 hours of being with her and the sex
ends up being great the girl will definitely want to see you again. If
she isn’t jumping in the bed with you after 5 minutes of talking to
you, you know that she is a quality girl.
Sex
In this chapter I won’t be teaching you how to have sex with a girl.
There are plenty of great books out there on how to give the girl the
best sex she has ever had. I recommend reading a few of them but
the best way to learn to be the best sexual partner is through
experience.
In this chapter I will be talking about my opinions on sex.
Society wants to make us believe that sex is something that is hard
to obtain. It views sex as a prize you get if you are either rich, good
looking or lucky. You must take a girl out to an expensive dinner
and if you act like a gentleman the woman might reward you with
sex, if you’re lucky.
Some religions on the other hand view sex as a bad thing. They
strongly disagree with having sex before marriage which I respect
that that is certain religions view but I don’t agree with them. Sex
isn’t a sin.
Sex is natural. Sex is in our biology. Sex is what makes us man and
woman, it’s what makes us evolve and expand. If it wasn’t for sex
there would be no human, animal or insect left in this world.
Society has made us feel ashamed of sex. They make us believe that
sex is something you shouldn’t talk about in public and something
you should do only after knowing the person for a very long period
of time. If you have sex too early you are either a “player” or a “slut”.
The mainstream media always makes the man seem like the villain
when it comes to sex. It’s always the man wanting to have sex with
the woman and the woman giving the man sex as a reward. Men are
perceived as these evil creatures that only want sex.
A study was held where 283 US college students from age 18-25
where asked to keep track of how many times they thought about
sex throughout their day. The results where that men thought about
sex an average of 34.2 times while women thought about sex 18.6
times. However, this doesn’t mean that all men think about is sex.
The reason men think about sex more than women are because men
are easier to sexually stimulate than women. We can look at a
cleavage and suddenly get a boner. This is because men are more
visually stimulated while women are more mentally stimulated.
If you really want to make a girl horny you don’t do it by showing
her your penis. You do it by talking dirty or describing the feeling of
you two having sex. You need to paint a picture in her head and
describe how intense her orgasm will be when you have sex.
Women think about sex way lesser than men because men are more
easily aroused, not because that is the only thing on their mind.
The cold hard truth is that women enjoy sex just as much as men if
not even more. Women will start shaking and grabbing the bed
sheets and moan. Guys don’t do that. For a woman an orgasm is an
amazing feeling but society has made women feel like they should
not enjoy sex.
Sex is the most beautiful thing in the world. Not only do you receive
and give pleasure but you can also create a baby. You can bring life
into this world by having sex.
Society shouldn’t place these labels on girls that aren’t afraid of
expressing their sexuality. If a girl has sex with you on the first date
it doesn’t make her a slut. She just wants to feel pleasure. Is that
really so bad?
People tend to make decisions based on their emotions but they
later on justify that decision with logic. This is a great example in
selling. People will buy something because of how it makes them
feel. For example, someone would spend 200k on a Lamborghini
because it will give them social value, adrenaline from going fast, it
will make them feel like a king compared to everyone else that
drives a Toyota.
No one admits this because it makes them seem very self-centred
but they justify their purchased with a logical statement. “The car
looks nice” or “It is very fast”. If you want speed you can just go on a
rollercoaster for $10.
The same applies with girls. They will have sex with you based on
how you make them feel. They will later on justify that decision
with logic.
A girl will not have sex with you because you are good looking or
because you had a great conversation or because you are rich
(unless she is a gold-digger). She will however want to have sex with
you if you make her feel good. She will later on justify her decision
of having sex with you.
In simple terms sex is just a way for two people to feel amazing. It’s
an intense experience that you share with another person.
As much as you might try to avoid it, sex is everywhere. Since it is
part of our biology and is constantly embedded in our minds,
business and brands take advantage of this. If you pick up a
magazine you will see a good looking woman or a good looking guy
because that is what we are most attracted to. Sex sells.
If you ever watch a music video with millions of views, there are
most likely attractive women with nice bodies in the videos. That’s
because sex sells.
One of the most searched for words on google is “Porn”. We are
constantly craving sex not because we want it but because we need
it. We have needed it since the pre historic times. Sex isn’t a bad
thing.
Throughout your journey of attracting women, you will have a lot of
sex if you follow my advice in this book. No matter how much sex
you have always stay humble. There is no need to brag about the
amount of women you have had sex with. Russell Brand is
constantly being nominated for shagger of the year. No one knows
the exact number of girls he has slept with, this is because Russell
Brand has no need to count the girls to fuel his ego.
The 2 Main Types of Girls
Men tend to think that every woman is the same. This has become a
stereotype in our culture now since women act in a way that men
don’t understand. So we put all women under the same category. I
believe everyone is unique in their own way but we are all the same
physiologically. All women have the same behaviours as do men.
There are two main types of women. There are high self-esteem and
low self-esteem women. Studies show that you are more likely to be
attracted to women of the same self-esteem as you. Let’s look at the
differences between the two.
High Self-Esteem Women
High self-esteem women are the ones you should try to build very
strong relationships with. They are hard to come by so when you do
find a woman of high self-esteem consider yourself lucky.
Drama
Women love drama. It fuels their emotion. We already talked about
the fact that women are emotional creatures since that is their
primary drive. When women hear about the neighbour that cheated
on his wife they get hooked. They love it.
High self-esteem women have no need for drama. I am not saying
they don’t enjoy it, they do but they enjoy it in movies and TV shows
or books. They don’t respond to other people’s drama. She
understands that if it doesn’t affect her then there is no need for her
to get involved. She doesn’t make the situation bigger than it has to
be.
Manipulation
A high self-esteem girl is manipulative…but only in the good sense.
She will never manipulate you into buying her an expensive gift or
manipulate you into spending time with her. She will however do
everything in her power to manipulate you into becoming a better
version of yourself.
This could be in the form of trying to get you to join a gym or eat
healthy or even read more books. She will only manipulate you into
making your life better. She could say “Were not going to have sex
until you start eating healthy” or “If you read that book you’ve been
wanting to read for a while maybe I’ll give you a little reward”. She
will manipulate you to make your life better.
Her Friends
High self-esteem girls care about their friends. now you might think
that every girl cares about her friends. High self-esteem girls will
not say bad things behind their friends back. A high self-esteem girl
wouldn’t get jealous of her friends. If her friend is going through a
rough time she will be there for her. She wouldn’t tell her it will be
fine and carry on with her life. She will sit down with her friend and
listen to her and try to help her.
Compliments
A high self-esteem girl can be attractive or unattractive. Either way
she loves who she is and knows that she can’t change the way she
looks. If you give a high self-esteem girl a compliment she will say
thank you and might even compliment you back. She knows how to
take a compliment but will still appreciate it.
She Treats You Well If You Treat Her Well
The biggest give away of a high self-esteem girl is that if you don’t
treat her well she will leave. And don’t think it would be easy to get
her back. She knows what she is worth and if you don’t show your
appreciation towards her or respect her she will not hesitate to
move on.
A low self-esteem girl will come running back to you even if you
treat her unwell. This is because low self-esteem girls crave
validation and will keep coming back to you until you give it to
them.
Low Self-Esteem Girls
There are many qualities to look out for in a woman to determine if
she is a low self-esteem girl.
Manipulative
A low self-esteem girl is very manipulative. Not in the way that a
high self-esteem girl is. A Low self-esteem girl will manipulate you
into doing what she wants. This could be from buying her expensive
items to being her personal taxi driver.
If the girl is attractive she will most likely use her physical
appearance to manipulate you into doing what she wants. Most guys
fall for her manipulative behaviour because they get to talk to a hot
girl. If you ever go to a nightclub many hot girls will try to use their
physical appearance to lure men into buying them drinks. This is
because they are low self-esteem. They crave the validation.
They don’t manipulate because they are evil or because they hate
men. They do this because they feel insecure. They think that
people won’t appreciate them for who they truly are so the only way
to get men is through manipulation.
Validation
A low self-esteem girl is constantly seeking validation from
everyone about everything. When it comes to seeking validation
from guys this comes in the form of compliments or buying things
for her. The compliments boost their ego and reassures them that
they are good enough.
You will experience sometimes a girl asking you to compare her to
another girl or a celebrity or might ask your opinion on another girl.
She might even start self-deprecating herself (saying how small her
breasts are) hoping you will say “No they’re not they’re perfect”
therefor giving her that validation that she is so desperately seeking.
Another way for them to get validation is to post pictures on social
media. I am not saying every girl that posts pictures on social media
does it to get validation but there are some girls that do it because
they need the likes and the nice comments and the compliments.
They need to constantly reassure themselves that they are good
enough.
Drama
Low self-esteem girls crave drama just as much as validation. They
need drama in their life whether its drama related to her life or
someone else’s life, as long as she has drama that fuels her
emotions she will be happy.
If there is no drama in her life she will create it. Even if you have a
healthy relationship she will try to cause arguments between you
and her to create drama. She is in constant need of fuelling he
emotions.
They Are Always the Victim
No matter what, even if she is the one to blame she will always
portray herself as the victim. A low self-esteem girl wants other
people to feel sorry for her. She does this by making everyone else
seem like the villain while she plays the role of the victim.
Most girls are low self-esteem for the reason being that they are
young and inexperienced. Usually young girls have not figured out
who they are yet. They still don’t have life figured out which causes
her to stress all the time. They are inexperienced and everything is
so new to them which makes them insecure.
They are still trying to build their character. Low self-esteem girls
can eventually become high self-esteem girls but it doesn’t require
some time.
Many guys are low self-esteem as well since they might not attract
as many girls in their life they are constantly seeking validation and
approval from girls. This leads to needy behaviour which leads to
the girl not feeling attracted to the guy anymore.
I am not saying you shouldn’t interact with low self-esteem girls.
They aren’t evil or want to destroy your life. They are still girls and
they still need to be loved. The qualities I have specified above of
low self-esteem girls will not all be found on one girl.
Most girls will possess at least one of these qualities. It doesn’t
mean that she is low self-esteem. If you find a girl that possess 3 or
more of these qualities, you can be sure she is low self-esteem.
Determine The Girl’s Self Esteem
The best way I like to see if a girl is high or low self-esteem is to give
them a compliment. If I see that the girl responds well to the
compliment, then there is a possibility she might be high selfesteem. If the girl reacts too much to the compliment, there is a
chance she is a low self-esteem girl. For a high self-esteem girl, a
compliment isn’t a big deal but she will still appreciate it.
It is hard to determine a girl’s self-esteem right off the bat. It takes
time to figure out her behaviours to determine her self-esteem.
Don’t try to figure out if she is high or low self-esteem. After
spending enough time with her you will realise her self-esteem. You
shouldn’t judge her too early you should however be slightly aware.
How to Handle All the Female Attention
You have reached the end of this book. If you have taken action and
approached women and experimented with what you learnt from
this book I am sure your life has changed with women.
Your journey isn’t over it has only just started. Throughout your
time of dating you will create relationships with a lot of girls along
with friendships. You will make more mistakes than you can
possibly imagine but with those mistakes you will grow.
There are some points I would like to make which you should read
and implement in your life more carefully than anything I’ve talked
about in this book.
Ego
Your ego is your biggest enemy. It is what will make you lose girls
and friends along the way. When it comes to friendships and dating
leave your ego behind and focus on growing, learning and becoming
better with girls. Your ego will stop you from learning and becoming
a better version of yourself.
After all these years of approaching, failing, rejections, make outs,
awkward silences and all the things I’ve been through, I still read
books on dating and attraction and human psychology. I still
continue to grow and learn new things, make new mistakes.
If you have the mentality of “I know everything there is to know
about women” I can guarantee you, you know nothing.
There are going to be people that will see you with multiple women
and will look up to you. Don’t act like an attraction god around
them. Be yourself and if they ask for help on women share your
knowledge and experiences.
You should never judge a guy that isn’t good with girls and you
should never act like you are better than him. You should also never
judge a guy who got rejected and never try to tell him what he did
wrong unless he asks your consent.
Lay Count
The amount of girls you have slept with is a useless number. Stop
counting them. The attractive man doesn’t count the amount of
girls he has slept with because guys who do so do it to boost their
ego. You are better than that.
You should never label yourself on how good you are with girls. You
are not a beginner or an advanced. You are simply you. There is not
measurement of how good you are with girls. Everyone has bad days
just like everyone has good days. You could go to a nightclub with
your friends and they could all get laid apart from you.
This doesn’t mean that you aren’t good with women it simply
means you had a bad day. We all have them. As long as you stay
positive and fun it won’t affect you.
Don’t Focus On the Little Things
Stop focusing on the little things. It doesn’t matter what the first
thing you say to a woman is or if you didn’t have confident body
language for a few seconds or if you said one thing that was needy.
The little things don’t matter so stop stressing over them.
A girl isn’t going to reject you because there were a few seconds of
awkward silence during your 1-hour interaction. She isn’t going to
not have sex with you because you didn’t say the perfect opening
line. Don’t focus so much on the little things. Instead focus on
having as much fun with the girl as you can.
Always Keep Improving
Last but not least don’t stop improving. Most people will read this
book and feel motivated and might even go out and meet some girls,
but it doesn’t last for long. If you are still motivated after 30 days of
reading this book, then you can change your life dramatically. If you
ever forget something or need help with something open up this
book again.
This book isn’t a onetime read. You must study this book to get the
most out of it.
Amazon Review
I have worked really hard on this book. I have gathered years of
knowledge and compiled all my knowledge into one small, easy to
read book. I would strongly appreciate it if you left a review on
Amazon. It will help not only me but also the future guys that will
read this book and transform their lives.