THE
GREAT
FEMALE
CON
THE BOOK EVERY FEMALE DOES
NOT WANT HER MAN TO READ
ANDEY RANDEAD
ii
Copyright © 2006 Andey Randead
All rights reserved. No part of this book
may be used or reproduced in any manner
whatsoever without the expressed written
permission Andey Randead. Printed in the
United States of America. For information
address, The Great Female Con, Andey
Randead, chandan@cogeco.net.
First Mass Market Edition
March/07
MMD
iii
About the Author
ANDEY RANDEAD is a 50-year-old entrepreneur who has extensive experience in
dealing with people. He has interviewed
hundreds of women about their true
thoughts, feelings, and expectations about
men, relationships, and marriage. He started
his first business when he was 18 and
quickly built it into a multi-million dollar
enterprise whose workforce totaled over 80
people. Selling that initial venture launched
him into the world of business were he proceeded to start and develop many other
business and real estate ventures. He has
employed over 300 people in his career and
has personally dealt with each and every
one of them. Andey always had an open
door policy with his employees, which
opened his eyes when dealing with their
personal problems. For several years and
while running his personal empire, Andey
was a professional negotiator for companies
negotiating major contracts. His education
iv
was gained primarily at the school of Hard
Knocks. Most of his experience comes from
“hands on” experiences dealing with people
at all levels. He is a street smart, nononsense guy who has learned, through experience, how to cut through the facades of
people and situations. His ability to see
through things and get to the basic reality of
any situation has kept him at the top of his
game in his business and personal ventures.
He has been effectively retired since turning 45 and is enjoying the fruits of his successes. He is eager to share his learning experiences with everyone who is willing to
explore unorthodox perspectives about life.
He believes these perspectives are the key
to getting to the truth about everything.
v
Table of Contents
Prologue.................................................... 1
Chapter 1: Introduction ............................ 5
Chapter 2: Life Is About Options............ 11
Chapter 3: The De-Balling of the
Modern Male ........................ 33
Chapter 4: No Respect, Immaturity,
Self-Righteousness ............... 53
Chapter 5: Cheating................................ 73
Chapter 6: The Male Ego ....................... 83
Chapter 7: Punishment/Reward .............. 97
Chapter 8: The “Oops” Con.................. 115
Chapter 9: How Women Lie To
Themselves.......................... 137
Chapter 10: The Prenup and Why
You Insist ......................... 143
Chapter 11: The Priority Lists .............. 163
vi
Chapter 12: Mistakes Women and Men
Make With Each Other ..... 173
Chapter 13: National Security............... 185
Chapter 14: Conclusion ........................ 195
The Great Female Con
1
PROLOGUE
Y
ou look in the eyes of a woman, and
you can’t help but feel attracted. Some
more than others, but all have some form of
individual and unique beauty. They smile at
you, and you melt. They flirt with you, and
the blood immediately starts flowing into
your genital area. They touch you intimately, and you have an instant erection.
You have been conditioned to see the
beauty in all of these creatures we call females. You’ve also been conditioned, both
socially and biologically, to sexually ravish
as many of them as you can. They can seem
so vulnerable, weak, needy, soft, loving,
caring, nurturing, sensitive, and mostly
selfless.
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Andey Randead
This book will explain, in a very simple
way, how women are all of these things, but
only under certain conditions. When the
chips are down and things are not going the
way women feel they should, women are
the exact opposite of all of those things. To
some degree, women are not some of those
things at the best of times.
As you read, you will find your eyes
being opened to things you never even considered possible. This book will shatter everything you’ve been conditioned to believe.
We all have seen examples of this. Why is
it these innocent, soft, selfless creatures
suddenly turn heartless, cold, vindictive,
destructive, hard, and mostly selfish?
They’re the first to use their kids as a tool
in a split-up. They’re the first to call the
police and have their spouse thrown in jail
when he holds his hands up to stop her from
attacking him. What turns these soft, innocent beings into the devil himself, and why
are so many men totally surprised when
they see it happen?
It’s the great female con. The best con
artists in the world will first convince themselves of what they’re selling and then sell
it to everyone else. Women are masters at
The Great Female Con
3
this. They are convinced of their soft and
selfless side, not even themselves realizing
their true, cold, selfish potential.
This book is written in a no-nonsense,
politically incorrect way. This book will
explore the realities of women, men, relationships, marriages, friendships, and life
itself. Too often we miss the forest for the
trees. We seek convoluted and complex answers to relatively simple questions. In doing so, we miss the answers. At the end of
the day, you will realize that men and
women are very different, and for specific
reasons. It’s not by accident. Biological
forces, how they were raised, society’s
pressures, and their current options all come
into play and affect how they react and interact with others. We will explore the
changing societal standards and laws and
how these have affected how people have
evolved in the last forty years. We will look
at how things were then and how they are
now and why. Get ready for the ride of your
life as you start to understand the simple
reasons women are the way they are, and
men are the way they are.
Understanding basic human behavior
has much to do with trying to understand
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Andey Randead
how people act and react. I have many basic
theories, all of which will be explored and
argued, and each will be seen by any reasonable person as true. The old saying that
no one can ever figure out women is simply
not true. By the time you have completed
reading this book, you will see things much
more clearly and realize where you’ve been
going wrong in understanding women.
The Great Female Con
5
CHAPTER ONE
Introduction
T
he title of this book may have led you
to believe that it is about women faking
orgasms. Let me tell you now, there is
nothing in this book about that. That is a
con that everyone knows about. Even the
simplest male knows of that female deception. This book is about the rest of the female cons that most guys never think of.
There are many female cons that are much
more important than the fake orgasm con.
The cons I will speak of are the ones that
will dictate what kind of life you will have,
how much you will be manipulated, and
how you will or will not be respected or
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Andey Randead
taken advantage of. As you read, you will
understand what I mean.
Despite the common notion that women
are impossible to figure out, it’s simply not
true. There is a clear way to understand
women. You first have to look at their biological tendencies, what they’ve been
taught, how they were raised, and what
their options are. You will then be much
closer to understanding this creature. Many
of my theories apply not only to figuring
out and reading women, but they can also
be applied to men, friends, family, kids,
employees, employers, customers, clients,
and business associates. Knowing where
someone is coming from is the key. How
you do that is not easy, but not all that difficult, either. Much of what you believe
about women is wrong. Part of the reason
you believe it is that you have bought into
the great female con.
When it comes to dealing with relationships, women are simply much smarter and
craftier than your average male. I first came
to realize this when I was eight years old. I
was playing with some friends, and there
were some older girls who actually liked us
and wanted to play with us. I bitterly argued
The Great Female Con
7
with my friends and insisted that we play
without them. My friends reluctantly agreed
to let them play with us. What happened
next would make me look sideways at everything for the rest of my life, and rightfully
so. We were playing tag, and the goal was
not to be “it.” If you were touched, you
were “it” and had to quickly touch someone
else so they were now “it.” At first, the girls
were crafty enough to elude getting caught,
as they were older and bigger than my
friends and me, so the guys of course would
chase after the smaller, easier catches. This
meant the girls were slowly and inadvertently being left out of the game.
That’s when female ingenuity kicked in.
I noticed that one girl tripped “accidentally”
in order to get caught and become “it.” This
then allowed her to chase the guy she liked
the most, putting her back in the game. If
the new “it” didn’t chase her back, she
would trip again, and sure enough, the guy
would run right over to her, making her “it”
again. I could not believe what I was seeing. Why would someone want to get
caught on purpose? That went against everything I knew at the time. I thought she
was deranged. What’s more surprising is
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Andey Randead
that none of my buddies realized what was
going on. When I called her on it, they all
said I was nuts and that no one in their right
mind would want to be “it” on purpose.
They all laughed at me as though I was nuts
for even suggesting it.
As I walked away from the game in
disgust, knowing I was right, the girl looked
at me when no one else could see her and
smirked at me. I knew then that females
were the superior sex and that if you
wanted to have any chance in hell at surviving with them, you were going to have
to outthink them. That wasn’t going to be
easy. You also were going to have to be
aware of the evils that lurk within each and
every one of them, just needing the right
conditions to reveal themselves. Imagine
the level of sophistication of this ten-yearold girl. I know grown men now who are
not that sophisticated.
Throughout the book I will say “every,”
“women,” and “men” frequently when discussing things. I will explain once that each
time I use these words, what I really mean
is the vast majority. Not every single one
with no exceptions, not the majority being
51%, but the vast majority, being 75-90%.
The Great Female Con
9
So don’t write to me saying, “I’m not like
that. You’re wrong that everyone is like
that.” “Vast majority” is what I mean when
I use those words. As much as I know every
individual is different in many ways, you
will be surprised to see how much people
are alike. You’ll also see that, as much as
men and women are very different, their
differences arise from their priorities, and
when you arrange their priorities in order of
importance to them, their reactions are very
similar. This is the mistake many people
make. They compare specific things when
trying to gauge how one will react, instead
of gauging based on where that thing is on
the other person’s priority list. I will explain my list theory along with the rest of
my theories, which are highlighted.
So kick back, relax, and enjoy the ride,
as you are about to have perspectives put to
you that you’ve probably never considered.
Each theory will explain things you could
never understand before. You will be better
prepared to handle yourself with females
and not being taken advantage of. It will
also better prepare you for dealing with
anyone else in your life, be it your child,
your friend, or your boss.
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Andey Randead
I must say something before I end this
chapter, and that is that I am not a “male
chauvinist pig.” I do not hate women, and I
am not gay. I happen to love everything
about women: their feel, their touch, their
smell, the way they are, the way they act. I
believe women are and should be equal to
men in every way. I am a devoted husband
and dad with an exceptional wife and
twenty-year-old daughter, both of whom I
love with all my heart and would do anything for; that is, anything except be taken
advantage of. That I will not do for anyone.
The Great Female Con
11
CHAPTER TWO
Life Is About Options
B
efore you get into the depths of
trying to understand women, you
must first understand some basic human
behavioral concepts. I am constantly surprised by how many men are totally oblivious to some of these basic human qualities.
There are many factors that come into play
when figuring out how someone will react
to a certain scenario. I believe one of the
main factors is an individual’s options:
what position they are in at that time, how
secure they are about things, what alternatives they see themselves having. I’ll give
you an example of how the same person
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Andey Randead
will respond totally differently to the exact
same scenario, simply as a result of his options.
You’re in a bar having a beer by yourself. You go to the restroom to relieve yourself, and when you return to the bar there is
a frail, middle-aged man sitting in your
spot. There are no other seats available at
the bar. What would you do? You most
likely would lean over, tap him on the
shoulder, and say, “Excuse me, but you’re
sitting in my seat.” A very normal response
to that situation. Now, let’s change your
“options” a little. Let’s say you return from
the restroom and there is a big, burly biker
sitting in your spot with a couple of his
buddies standing behind him. They’re all a
little drunk and seem agitated and looking
for trouble. What are you now likely to do?
At best, you will reach over and grab your
beer and go sit somewhere else. You may
not even grab your beer; you may just go
and sit somewhere else or leave and call it a
day.
So what changed? You’ve had the same
thing done to you, only by two different
people. They both took your spot. Then
why did you only stand up for yourself with
The Great Female Con
13
the older guy? Let me tell you why. Your
options were very different. If the first man
didn’t comply, your option would be to insist and remove him yourself if you had to.
You didn’t have that option with the second
guy. Not only did you not have that option,
but the second guy sitting in your chair had
the option of kicking your ass out the door.
Therefore, you responded differently.
Life is all about options. You may not
even consciously know this, but you respond all day long to different things, all as
a result of how your subconscious sees your
options. Often you even consciously review
your options. In an ideal world, everyone
would treat everyone else the same way under the same circumstances. The reality is,
nobody does. Everyone treats everyone differently, and to a large degree you are
treated based on how the other person perceives his or her options with you. How
they think you will respond has a lot to do
with how they will treat you. If you are tolerant and accommodating, then chances are
people will not have a problem disappointing you from time to time. They know it
won’t be much of a problem with you. They
know you will not protest much and there
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Andey Randead
won’t be any negative ramifications in your
relationship with them. If, however, you are
intolerant, stand up for yourself, and let
people know when they have disappointed
you, chances are you will have fewer disappointments to deal with. Kind of like “the
squeaky wheel gets the grease.” Options.
It’s what makes the world go round.
I have been an entrepreneur and in
business for myself for thirty years. A college student who was doing a paper on
businesses once asked me what I looked for
when hiring a secretary. What I told him
left him speechless. I said when I hire
someone, if the qualifications between two
candidates were similar, I would favor the
one who was single or whose husband
didn’t have a high-paying job. Also, hopefully they would have a home and a car and
big bank payments on both. When asked
why, I explained: The one with the big
payments and the husband who didn’t have
a high-paying job had fewer options. She
needed her paycheck a lot more than the
other one whose house was paid for and
whose husband made a lot of money. The
first one who needed her paycheck would
certainly be more tolerant and not be look-
The Great Female Con
15
ing for an excuse to quit or get insulted the
first time I had a tiff with her. Why? Simple. She needs the job and doesn’t have as
many options. The second one would certainly be less tolerant. The first time I even
remotely raised my voice a little about
anything, she would pick up her purse, tell
me to go screw myself, and walk out the
door, never to be seen again.
Options. Tolerance. The more options
you have, the less tolerant you become.
Over the years I have never regretted employing that basic principle in hiring people. I have hired hundreds of people over
the years and have only had problems once
an employee developed options. Whether it
was a new job offer, getting married to
someone with a good lifestyle, or winning a
lottery, whatever the option may have been,
once they got the options, I would almost
immediately start to notice a change in that
employee. More demanding, less tolerant
with me and their co-workers, less productive, less enthusiastic about their job, and so
on.
Although this sounds basic, you will see
as you read how this basic principle comes
into play in relationships and in predicting
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Andey Randead
women’s behavior. I can go on for hours
about how our country, our military, and
our people act completely differently in the
same situation only because their options
are different. So if options dictate how
countries, armies, and men react, what
makes you think options won’t affect how a
woman reacts? The answer is simple: It
does. They, more than anyone else, respond
differently based on their options at the
time.
Now we’re getting to the good stuff. Do
you think it is coincidental that after a
woman gets married, she gradually slows
her sex life down and quickly gains a few
pounds? Not at all. Once a woman is married and secure in her relationship and has
the laws of the land on her side, she now
has options. She no longer has to be so concerned about keeping you totally happy or
losing you. When she was dating you, she
could not risk losing you to another woman.
You could just dump her and she would
have no recourse, so she had to stay in
shape, have sex with you often, and, God
forbid, give you a blowjob every once in a
while. Now you’ve married her. She has
options. Her options now are if you do
The Great Female Con
17
dump her, she can go to a lawyer, sue your
ass, and have you support her for the rest of
her life. Not a bad option or back-up position. If there is any guy out there who
doesn’t think that is one of the reasons
every woman wants to get married, I have
an ice factory in the Arctic I would like to
sell you. Of course it’s not the only reason,
but it is most certainly one of them.
Now for all you women out there shaking your heads in disgust, let me explain.
I’m not saying women want to marry just
for the money. They don’t want to marry
just for love. They don’t want to marry just
to have a family. They don’t want to marry
just for the security. They don’t want to
marry just to get on “the program.” They
don’t want to marry just for companionship.
They don’t want to marry just because society sees them as a failure if they’re not married. They want to get married for all of the
above reasons and more. They want it all.
Yes, I said it; women are demanding and
selfish creatures. They actually want it all.
Very few women will admit it. That’s one
of the great female cons. Some women may
not even realize it themselves, but they do
want it all.
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Andey Randead
So if they don’t realize it or believe it
themselves, it’s easy for them to portray to
their man that they don’t want it all and are
just looking for love. They focus in and
speak only about the admirable, genuine
reasons why they want to marry, such as, “I
love you,” “I want to bear your children,”
and “I want to be with you forever.” What
they don’t tell you is, “I also don’t want to
have to work so hard at keeping you,” “I
don’t want to have sex when I don’t want
to,” “I don’t want to work for the rest of my
life,” “I want to be looked after,” “I want to
have a rock on my finger so everyone
knows I’m not a loser,” “I want legal protection in case you dump me,” and so on.
That’s what I call getting on “the program.”
These are the less admirable, more selfish
reasons they want to marry. But guess
what? They want to marry for all of these
reasons. Women want the whole package.
So what makes these creatures so demanding? How did we get to this point in
life, where one gender has become so selfish and feels so entitled? It was not like this
forty years ago. In the old days, women just
wanted to marry for all the genuine reasons.
They were not so concerned about the more
The Great Female Con
19
materialistic or pragmatic things. A woman
really did just want a man on her arm and a
family. It really was for better or worse,
richer or poorer, in sickness and in health.
What has changed? That will be explored in
a later chapter. For now I will stay focused
on security, options, and tolerance.
Let’s look again at the security issue. If
you haven’t figured it out by now, here’s
one of my theories: The more options and
security someone has, the less tolerant
that person is. So a large part of why
women want to marry is so they can have
more options, more security, and become
less tolerant. That’s what life is all about.
Improving your life. Bettering your life.
Making things come easier with less work.
We all want that. This is not exclusive to
women. Men also like things to be easier,
work less for more, have more perks, less
headaches, and so on. So why is it we find
it so hard to believe that women seek the
same?
It’s the great female con. They are so
good at camouflaging their true wants that
most men can’t believe that’s really the way
they are. You can’t even blame women for
hiding it, because society has trained us to
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Andey Randead
believe that a woman is not a good person if
she wants such superficial things. We have
been brainwashed to believe that a woman
who only worries about herself is not a
good person. Well, I have news for you,
women are human like the rest of us and do
want to look after themselves. And yes,
from time to time, more often than not,
their wants and needs are purely selfish.
Stop and think about what I’ve said. Try
and remember how things were when you
were dating, versus now that you’re married. Or try and look at others who are now
dating, versus others who are married.
There is no doubt that when a woman is
trying to get her man down the aisle, she is
a much different person than once she has
gotten him there. I’m not saying that marriage can’t work and that you should not get
married. For most guys, with today’s laws,
I would say that is true. In today’s environment, Marriage is for women and
wusses. A wuss is a guy who’s a combination between a wimp and a pussy, in case
you didn’t know.
But if you’re a little more in tune with
the realities of women, I think marriage can
work just fine. I am proof of that. However,
The Great Female Con
21
you must understand how easy it is for your
woman to get too comfortable within your
relationship, and you must make sure that
she stays honest with you and doesn’t take
advantage of you. Most guys are not capable of doing that, and most women will not
do it on their own. The unfortunate reality
is that once women have that extra security
of marriage or other legal commitment,
they have more options and then become
less tolerant. You’re now the old man at the
bar instead of the biker. They can stand up
to you. They can let you know what they
want and what they don’t want. They can
gain a little weight and not worry so much
about it. They can get more upset when
you’re late. They can screw you less. They
can be more demanding and expect more
out of you. Why? It’s simple. Options.
They now have options. If the shit hits the
fan, they’re covered. They’re not left out in
the cold.
It wouldn’t be so bad if all you had to
worry about when a woman becomes less
tolerant is her gaining a little weight and
not screwing you as much. Unfortunately,
it’s worse than that. Here’s where more
human behavior comes into play. Most
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Andey Randead
people, not just women, once they get very
comfortable and have things a little too
easy, start to become unhappy. They become unhappy with life, with their relationship, and with themselves. Look at a
spoiled child. Not only are they spoiled because they’ve been given everything too
easily, but they’re also miserable. They’re
miserable with themselves and everyone
else. They’re miserable with life in general.
Why is this? Simple. They have no purpose
in life. Everything has been given to them.
There’s no sense of accomplishment. There
is no challenge for them. Believe it or not,
guys who treat their women too well and
spoil them will get taken advantage of.
Their woman will eventually become miserable. No question about it.
So is the answer to treat them like shit?
Of course not. The answer, is you don’t
treat them like a spoiled child. You let them
contribute to the relationship. You keep
them occupied with meaningful things,
which keeps them happy with themselves.
Most women I’ve met who are miserable in
their relationships and with themselves
have things too easy. There’s no challenge.
That’s when they start looking for a chal-
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23
lenge. Quite often, looking for another
challenge leads them to having an affair.
We all know of the wife who doesn’t work,
has all her children in school, watches The
View and Oprah all day, has a maid to do
her housework, is probably screwing
around, hates her husband who’s busting
his ass all day and who gave all of this to
her, and still is miserable with her life.
That’s because she has it too easy. She has
not been made to feel that she’s truly contributing to the relationship.
Ironically, most women seek to be in
the position I just described. They want on
“the program.” Yes, guys, that’s their goal.
To get on “the program.” Married, legally
protected, secure, with a couple of kids to
justify not having to work, and generally
having a much better life than they had before they were married and having someone
busting his ass worrying about all the major
problems. That’s “the program.” It’s also
part of the female con. Not letting you
know that they really want to get on “the
program” is part of the female con.
Isn’t it funny how after the kids are in
school, very few wives go back to work?
There’s always some sort of justification
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Andey Randead
for why they can’t go back. If they do, it’s
only part-time and usually while the kids
are small and not in school full-time yet.
This gives her an excuse to get a break from
the kids for a while during the difficult time
of their kids’ childhood. Once their kid is in
school full-time, she rarely goes back to
work at all. She’s on “the program” and has
options and legal protection. She’s not going back for anybody. You can work yourself into the ground to support the two of
you from now on. I don’t know of too many
women who plan to work to retirement, but
every guy I know expects to work until retirement. He deals with that because he
knows it’s likely what will happen.
You might say, “Well, what is so wrong
with the woman expecting more out of you
and demanding to be treated better and
standing up to you?” Nothing wrong with
that at all, if that’s where it would end. Unfortunately, it never ends there. Once the
security is there and they start getting on
“the program” and becoming more and
more miserable, they soon find ways to
make mountains out of molehills. Everything is a big problem. They complain
about everything, argue about anything, and
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25
generally make your life, as well as everyone around them, miserable.
I often turn on Dr. Phil and hear of all
these apparently convoluted problems that
couples are having and the complex solutions that these men of great education recommend. I often ask myself, “Would this
even be an issue if the woman didn’t have
options, wasn’t protected by law in her
marriage, and had to worry about being
back where she started if this relationship
failed?” It certainly wouldn’t. Most problems that develop between a couple could
have just as easily been avoided by only
raising the tolerance level of the woman to
where it was prior to her being protected
and having extra security. I say the
woman’s tolerance, because if you look at
both the man and the woman before and
after marriage, it’s the woman who changes
more drastically after marriage. Yes, men
change a little, but the women change faster
and more dramatically. Why? Simple. Men
generally don’t expect to improve their life
when they get married, and, if anything,
they expect to some degree that things will
probably be a little worse for them in many
of the ways I discuss in this book.
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Andey Randead
Women, on the other hand, not only expect things to get better, they insist on it.
When the situation doesn’t improve to the
degree they were expecting, they begin to
change. Their tolerance drops. They become more demanding and harder to deal
with. Again, they’re secure, they’re protected, and they have options now. They
can change, so they do. Now the woman is
the biker at the bar, and you’re the old man.
You let things go, and she takes issue with
everything. Options. It’s all about options.
What are your options now? Dump her and
have your life ruined by any good lawyer
she decides to go to? I think not. And guess
what, she knows it and will take full advantage at it. Of course, there are many
more specific causes of marriage problems
and break-ups: financial issues, infidelity
issues, intimacy issues. However, any one
of these specific problems will be exacerbated as a result of a reduced willingness to
deal with the specific problem and solve it.
That reduced willingness is caused by the
reduced tolerance, and that is a result of
more security and extra options the woman
has gained once she is married.
The old saying is true: “Men marry
The Great Female Con
27
woman for what they are, and women
marry men for what they can be.” Every
woman seeks to “better” her man after she
has the added security and protection that a
legal commitment gives her. It’s a simple
fact of life. As a guy, you’d better know
that going in and not be deceived by the
great female con. We have all heard a female talk about “baby steps.” They’re not
talking about their babies; they’re talking
about changing you over time to be better
for them.
If you stop and think of what men want
and what women want, and you then look at
what marriage gives you and takes away
from you, it’s hard to imagine why any guy
would sign up for it, especially in this day
and age. Most guys prefer multiple sexual
partners and casual sex genetically; although women, more recently, will often
have multiple partners, they aren’t as into
casual sex and probably prefer one partner.
Sex is more of an intimate thing with
women and more of a physical thing with
guys.
What does marriage offer? Monogamy.
A plus for the women and a negative for the
guys. Guys usually have enough income to
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live comfortably themselves, but suffer a
decline in lifestyle once they’re married and
supporting two or more people. Women
usually get a boost, now having the benefit
of a higher earner to share with. Two for
the women, minus two for the guys. When
a guy is single, he is his own boss, and he
comes and goes when he pleases. Women
don’t care much for this level of independence, and they usually still have enough of
it after they’re married, anyway. Marriage
costs the man almost all his independence
and autonomy, and now he has someone to
answer to. Three for the women, and minus
three for the guys. Although men want to
bear children, it’s not a big priority to them.
It’s a huge priority to women. Marriage
gives you children. Four plus for the
women, four minus for the guys. Guys
don’t need as much intimacy and communication as women. Marriage gives you lots
of both whether you want them or not. Five
for the women, five minus for the guys.
Women almost always slow down on their
sex life after marriage. Guys want it as often as before. Six for the women, six minus
for the guys.
Need I go on? Okay, I’m being a little
The Great Female Con
29
cynical, but in reality, marriage is a much
better deal for women. Part of the great female con is to make the guy believe marriage is actually for both of them and that
he will be better off after marriage. And
yes, plenty of guys buy it. You might say
women are great at sending guys to hell and
making them buy their own ticket.
Although men want many things out of
marriage, as do women, one of the things
high on the list of priorities for men is sex.
There is no question that men are that simplistic. Believe it or not, steady sex, whenever they need it, with a fit, attractive mate,
without the hassles of chasing it, is high on
men’s list of what they want out of marriage. Ironically, what men don’t realize
until it’s too late is that steady sex is one of
the first things that gets taken away from
them after marriage.
Can you imagine what a female would
do if the most important things on her list of
priorities were taken away from her soon
after she wed? Let’s say, for example, that
two of the most important things for her are
children and financial security. Let’s say
that when she was engaged, her fiancé
showered her with a great lifestyle and
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promises of children and her staying at
home, quitting her job, and raising a family
while he supported all of them with his
promising career. They get married, and
within six months he tells her he no longer
wishes to have children so soon, maybe not
at all. He also tells her he’s quitting his job
and wants to take a couple of years sabbatical. He also wants her to go back to her job
for a few years to support them while he’s
on his break. Can you imagine what the reaction would be from the wife? Needless to
say, she would be kicking his ass to the
curb, smartly and rightfully so.
Okay, so people seem to understand that
example and probably agree with her response. Why then would it not be understood if a man were to say, “I’m not getting
the same amount of sex I was getting before
and expecting. That’s very important to me.
Either you pick it up a notch, or I’ll get it
elsewhere and kick your ass to the curb.”
Why would this scenario be seen as cruel,
where the first example seems justified? Let
me tell you why. The great female con has
brainwashed us into thinking that men’s
priorities are not as important as theirs. Just
because women see their top priorities as
The Great Female Con
31
more legitimate than men’s, they think they
can discount the man’s. Men’s priorities are
insignificant to women because women
can’t empathize with them. What’s the big
deal about sex, as compared to children and
lifestyle? Let me tell you, ladies: just because you see them as insignificant doesn’t
mean they are. The reality is that to men,
sex and a fit spouse to have it with at will
are as important to them as the children and
the lifestyle are to women. Just as the
women would not tolerate having their top
priorities taken away from them, men
should not tolerate losing theirs, either.
But they do. The great female con.
More and more men are simply accepting
things and not causing a problem. They just
live with it. I can tell you, guys, women
would not do the same if the shoe were on
the other foot. She holds all the aces after
marriage, and men generally aspire to the
“cheaper to keep her” theory. As a result,
men have to sacrifice more and put up with
more. By the way, there is an exception to
this scenario of how women change after
marriage. That will be explored in my Prenup chapter.
So how do you prevent this from hap-
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pening or continuing to happen? It’s actually not as complicated as you would think,
and in the chapters to come, it will become
quite obvious.
The Great Female Con
33
CHAPTER THREE
The De-Balling of the
Modern Male
T
hings are changing. Men are not what
they used to be, and women are not
what they used to be. So what’s happened
to us? Why have things changed so much?
Why are there now as many guys today
looking for a meal ticket as there are
women looking for a meal ticket? Why has
the male become so similar to the female
that sometimes you can’t distinguish between the two? Why can’t we be the way
our parents and grandparents were? They
got married, and through thick and thin,
they stayed married and spent the rest of
their lives together. They had a distinct fa-
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ther figure and a distinct mother figure.
Each played a very important role in the
raising of their children in a balanced way.
The father was usually the provider and
disciplinarian, and the mother the nurturer.
Everyone respected everyone else’s position and understood them. They weren’t
sticking needles through their noses, tattooing their asses, spiking their hair and
painting it orange, or any of the absolutely
weird things people do these days in order
to try to gain an identity. So what in the hell
happened? It all started with the feminist
movement of the late 1950s and ‘60s.
Yes, this is where I really start to make
enemies. Back in the ‘50s and ‘60s, men
were men and women were women. Both
had their own distinctive qualities that were
clear and undeniable. The laws of the land
with respect to family law, although they
varied from state to state, were generally a
little slanted against women. Although it
didn’t happen often, if a woman divorced,
she usually got the shit end of the stick. In
those days, the laws distinguished between
a man’s assets and his family assets. That
meant that he would not likely have to pay
through the nose if he left his wife, and
The Great Female Con
35
with all the loopholes inherent in the laws,
he quite often would keep almost all his
assets. In the worst case, he would pay
some alimony for a few years. If the wife
hooked up with someone else, then he was
off the hook forever. A woman never had
the option of getting looked after for the
rest of her life just because she got married
and divorced. The laws of the land were
such that women had to make sure that their
marriages worked, because if they didn’t,
they would be back where they started. And
women, more so than anyone, don’t like
going backwards.
I’ve often referred to women as arrows.
They only go in one direction: forward. On
top of that, in those days when men were
men, they weren’t quite so willing to step
up to the plate for a woman who had been
married and had kids. Those women were
often doomed for life. Few males wanted a
female who was divorced, and they certainly didn’t want her if she had skeletons
in the form of another man’s kids to go
along with her. You might say that a
woman’s options, if she divorced, weren’t
so good back then. As a result, the women
became the adhesive forces of the marriage.
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Not so much because it was their role or
because they were the bigger person, but
because they had the most to lose if the
marriage failed. Their tolerance was very
high, through the roof. No matter what happened, they would make sure the marriage
survived. Like my indebted secretary, they
made it work.
I don’t care what anyone says; in any
relationship, one side has to give more than
the other for it to work. There is no question – in my relationship, my wife keeps it
together. This concept of total equality
within a relationship is crap. If both people
in a relationship work equally hard and give
exactly as much as the other and take exactly as much as the other, the relationship
is doomed. One side must give more than
the other for it to succeed, like it or not. I’m
not saying that’s the way it should be, but
that’s the way it is. You look at any longterm relationship; someone is putting up
with more than the other to keep it together.
No matter how hard you feminists try, you
can’t change the fact that every ship can
have only one captain. One person must be
more in control than the other. If not, the
ship will crash.
The Great Female Con
37
I’m not saying that person has to be the
male, but it has to be one of them. In the old
days it was usually the male. He wore the
pants, no questions about it. He was the
breadwinner, the disciplinarian, the man of
the house, and the head of the family. The
woman wore the dress; she was the keeper
of the house, the nurturer, the supporter of
the head of the family. She looked after the
children’s and her husband’s daily needs,
and she made sure that everyone was
looked after as best as her husband’s income would allow. She had a great deal of
respect for the father of her children and
would do anything for him.
In those days, not only were the
woman’s options fewer, but so were the
man’s. As I said before, one of the main
reasons a guy gets married is because he
doesn’t want to chase and catch every one
of his pieces of ass. It’s nice knowing that
you can come home, tired, and still get
some sex from your wife without the
courting, the dinners, the wining and dining, the games, and the pretensions. Back in
the earlier days, promiscuity was not what
it is today. Women were not quite so easy
then. Men rarely got any action. You basi-
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cally had to go to a whorehouse, otherwise
to your wife or fiancée. So that was the
man’s incentive to stay married or get engaged.
The woman’s incentive was clear. If he
divorced her, not only was she not likely to
be financially looked after, she would also
be a social outcast. Her prospects of finding
another man were negligible at best. Her
prospects of finding a husband were almost
impossible as a divorcée. That was her incentive to make it work. Both men’s and
women’s options were limited; therefore,
they both made a genuine, honest effort for
each other and their relationship and did
everything they could to make sure it
worked. Their tolerance was high because
their options were limited. Options. Life is
all about options. And when your options
are limited, you look for ways to make your
relationship work.
Slowly but surely, the feminists started
to get to the politicians and lobbied them to
start to change the family laws. These
changes primarily started in the more liberal states like California, and eventually
spread throughout the entire country.
Slowly the advantage was taken away from
The Great Female Con
39
the men, and for a while, in the late ‘70s,
things were probably pretty fair. Unfortunately, the feminists and politicians did not
stop there. They continued to amend these
laws in favor of women. Slowly but surely,
women were now gaining more of a legal
advantage with the advent of these liberal
female-favorable laws. They no longer had
to make it work at all costs. More and more
women were getting favorable judgments
and settlements when the marriage failed.
As knowledge of this spread, even more
women would opt for divorce. At the same
time, since more and more women were
divorced, society slowly started looking
differently at these divorced women. They
were no longer outcasts in society. In some
way, they were looked at as courageous for
not putting up with their “irreconcilable differences.” As the laws improved for
women, so did their financial security after
a split-up. As their security increased, so
did their options. As their options increased, their tolerance dropped. Therefore,
things that once were accepted in their relationships were now intolerable and worthy
of a visit to the nearest throat-targeting
lawyer. Compound the extra financial secu-
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rity with the fact that society was slowly
accepting these divorcees, and you really
get a lowered tolerance by women.
Here’s where the de-balling process begins. As more and more women were getting divorced, more and more kids were
now with one parent, usually the mothers.
These kids no longer had the balanced upbringing of both the father and the mother,
but instead would have one very influential
parent, the mother, and one absentee parent,
the father. Slowly the male influence got
weaker and weaker. The male children were
subject to more of their mother’s personality traits than their father’s. Male kids
slowly started to look at things more from
the female perspective than from the
male’s. At the same time, the female children became even stronger-minded, not
having the male counter-influences that
their fathers once gave them. So as the females became stronger-minded, the males
became weaker and more accepting of this
female power.
Now we come to the point we are at today, meaning you have a large group of intolerant women who have become extremely entitled, selfish, and self-righteous.
The Great Female Con
41
At the same time, you now have a group of
men who have been de-balled to the point
where they think it is acceptable and normal
to yield to the woman’s every whim and
have been brainwashed into believing that
women are selfless, honorable, and right.
And there you have the de-balling of the
modern male. Both modern males and
modern females actually think this is normal and expected of them because that’s all
they know and have been taught. You now
have strong-minded, selfish, self-righteous
females, and soft, wimpy, accepting, complaisant, insignificant, de-balled males.
How often have you heard a woman say
that she is going to raise her son to be a perfect gentleman? What do you think that
means? By whose standard is she raising
this supposed gentleman? Not by normal,
balanced standards, but by the woman’s
standards of what she thinks a gentleman
should be. Unfortunately, most mothers’
perception of a gentleman is a wuss who is
conditioned to put up with the modern
woman’s every whim. He is conditioned to
believe that women are pure, good, honest,
and selfless, while in reality the modern
woman is the opposite of all of these. In
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fact, women have unfortunately taken on a
lot of the same qualities of their male
counterparts of yesteryear. That is, one of
the female chauvinist.
Now of course, Chauvin was a male
who had little or no respect for females and
believed they were inferior and unequal to
men. Guess what? If you look at modern
women, they, too, have developed a lot of
the same beliefs towards men. Men are
really there for one thing: to make women
happy. That means pay the bills, work himself into the ground so the woman can have
her kids and relax a little more and enjoy
raising her family, accommodate her so she
can quit her job, and so forth. Generally,
he’s there to allow her to get on “the program.” That’s all men are good for. The
modern woman has little respect for the
modern male because the modern male
does not demand or deserve respect. Men
have become so complaisant within their
relationships, because of their de-balling,
that they really are insignificant. They’re
just a necessary evil that the modern
woman needs to satisfy her selfish desires
in life. We have gotten to the point were the
pendulum has swung completely in the
The Great Female Con
43
other direction.
Another of my theories is the pendulum theory. This applies to anything. The
momentum of anything going in one direction will accelerate and pick up speed when
it’s starting to go in the other direction from
the top of the first. As a pendulum swings
back and forth, it will pass the neutral position at the bottom and continue in the other
direction before losing momentum. Then it
swings back the other way. Eventually the
pendulum loses all directional momentum
in either direction and settles in the neutral
position right at the bottom.
As a pendulum swings back and forth,
so do issues in society, economies, relationships, and friendships. Just about everything you can think of swings as a pendulum does. When anything is too one-sided,
people respond, and before long things are
exactly the opposite of what they were.
Rarely do things get adjusted just the right
amount to get the pendulum in the neutral
position on the first try. It will swing in the
other direction first. That’s what has happened with men and women. The pendulum
was so sided toward men years ago that
people responded. Unfortunately they over-
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reacted, and now the pendulum has completely swung in the opposite direction, in
favor of women.
Yes, today the world is full of female
chauvinist pigs. It has gotten so bad that it
has become normal for a bride-to-be to go
out with the girls to a bar for her bachelorette party and screw around with as many
guys as she can. This is her last hurrah. She
must prove to all her friends that she has no
respect for her future husband and keep
with modern tradition and humiliate him.
She’s now a true female chauvinist pig who
has landed a schmoe to get her on “the program.” Can you imagine forty years ago the
reaction from the man if his fiancée acted
like this? But then again, that was when
men had balls. They don’t anymore. Guys
put up with it because the female con and
the de-balling process have actually convinced them to believe they have no choice.
They’re getting into a situation that is much
more for her benefit than his, and she’s got
him making the sacrifices and putting up
with her shenanigans to do it.
Let’s get even more controversial. Have
you ever heard the saying, “What goes
around comes around?” Well, guess what.
The Great Female Con
45
Women are now getting what they deserve.
Let me explain. For years, women have
been applauding the changing landscape of
the laws and the short-term benefits that
gaining all these options has given them.
Many of them have either directly benefited
from these laws or know some other female
who has. Although many may not openly
cheer, most women deep down smile with
delight when they hear of a fellow sister
nailing some poor shmuck for a large
amount of money. The very idea of a
woman being able to look at getting an unsuspecting schmoe to support her for life
brings a gratifying smile to most of them.
Don’t smile too long, ladies. Things are
coming back to haunt all women. The selfish, short-term benefits of liberal, radical
laws that are unfair to men are hurting the
very women they were designed to protect.
Men are also hearing of the unfairness in
most of the judgments of divorce, support,
and custody and are opting not to enter the
arena of marriage. Also, due to the deballing of the modern male, which was precipitated by women’s advances in advantageous law changes, we now have an unclear
line between men and women. Unlike be-
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fore, the de-balled male is not so willing to
step up to the plate and make a commitment
and live with it. More and more, these deballed males are acting more and more like
females. They, too, are acquiring the traits
of females and becoming more selfish.
They, too, are looking to get on “the program.” The de-balled males of today are
thinking and acting more and more like females and looking out for themselves. As a
result, women today are finding it difficult
to get a man to commit to just about anything.
Since the de-balled male was raised by
a woman, he has picked up many of the female tendencies. He is looking for a lot of
the same things his mother was looking for.
I honestly believe this is also the reason for
the obvious increase of bisexuality in the
last twenty years. The line between the
genders is so obscure that people are more
confused about what it is they really are
attracted to and what they want out of life.
If you take the known imbalance in the
population between men and women (there
are approximately 95 males for every 100
females in the United States of America),
which already puts the woman at a disad-
The Great Female Con
47
vantage in finding a man, and then you take
about 10% of those men out of the race because they are gay, thanks in part to the deballing process, and then you take the balance of the males left looking to avoid
commitment and also looking to get on “the
program” like the rest of the women, you’re
left with a bleak environment for any modern woman who just wants what her mother
had: a life, a family, a man, and so on. In
effect, women have really shot themselves
in the foot. By making things too unfairly
advantageous for themselves yesterday,
they have ruined things for their daughters
today. The ultimate in selfishness. Forsaking their daughters’ futures for their own
benefit.
Of course, every woman will scream
that I’m a sexist, that I hate women and
don’t know what I’m talking about. Look at
the facts. It’s no secret that things are much
harder for the modern woman than her sister of yesteryear. There’s obviously a reason for that. It didn’t just happen on its
own. If you really look at my theory as to
why it happened, it will make sense. It’s
like global warning. We are ruining things
for future generations, and unless we
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Andey Randead
change our ways, it will be irreparable. You
cannot sell out future generations for your
own selfish preferences today. However,
that’s exactly what women have done. The
older generation of females has ruined
things for their daughters. Sure, maybe
things were a little unfair in the man’s favor
forty years ago, and maybe there was a
need for some change, but women have
taken it too far, to the point where it is affecting the natural balance of interactions
between men and women.
It’s like any balance in nature. If you
remove too many bats from an area, the
mosquitoes will flourish. Eventually those
mosquitoes will spread disease and cause
the same people who removed the bats to
suffer from those diseases. I could give you
many examples of how you can’t play with
the sensitive balances in nature. I believe
the biological and sociological differences
between men and women are one of those
balances in nature that you can’t screw
with. Men should be men, and women
should be women. If you force a change,
you will have imbalance repercussions.
What happened when the modern male was
slowly de-balled was that you changed the
The Great Female Con
49
natural balance of how that man thinks and
acts. That de-balling is having negative repercussions for the very women who forced
it in the first place.
If you talk to any young women, they
will tell you that the quality of the men that
are out there is unbelievably low, that it’s
almost impossible to find a guy who is
worth pursuing in the way their mothers did
before them. And if you find a guy who is
partially worth pursuing, he is likely not
willing to commit to anything. Women today are living with the repercussions of the
imbalance that their mothers created. It’s as
simple as that. Like I said, if you are a
woman and have ever delighted in hearing a
guy getting nailed by his wife who divorced
him, then you have contributed to the imbalance, which your daughters now have to
live with. You might say they’re dealing
with the diseases of the mosquitoes because
of all the bats that you removed from nature. Congratulations.
One of the unfortunate side effects of a
ball-less male is that all his friends and
family will be subjected to the wrath of the
female who has taken control of him. She
will not respect his kids, his parents, or his
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Andey Randead
friends. The old “respect the dog for its
owner” goes out the window, because
there’s no respect for the owner. The wuss
doesn’t demand, nor does he get, any respect, so how will anyone else close to him
get any from her? The female will make the
wuss choose her over everyone else in his
life. The wuss will bring much suffering to
the surrounding innocent bystanders as a
result of his wussness. So if you have a son,
brother, or father who is a wuss, look out.
You will have a lot of grief dealing with his
lady. She will do many things that are less
than respectful to you. She will also get him
to back her up, thereby putting him at odds
with you as well.
The biggest victim of this is an individual whose father is a wuss. Nothing is more
frustrating than being treated poorly by
your father and his new spouse because he
doesn’t have the nuts to keep her honest
with his kids. Any stand-up guy would
never allow anyone to walk all over his
family, and ironically, females usually
don’t even try when the guy has balls.
However, when she’s dealing with a wuss,
she doesn’t care how she treats anyone else
in his life. When a man has no balls, eve-
The Great Female Con
51
ryone around him suffers. We all can
think of a guy who has a troubling, disrespectful spouse who takes advantage of him
and shits all over the other people in his
life. All the people surrounding the deballed male have to suffer the repercussions
of his wussness.
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The Great Female Con
53
CHAPTER FOUR
No Respect, Immaturity,
Self-Righteousness
F
or those of you who are totally disgusted about my de-balling theory and
some of the things I said in the last chapter,
I will explain further. I claimed that modern
females have lost respect for men and that
they have developed a female chauvinist
attitude towards them. Let me give you just
one silly example of how women have
changed over the years. Everything I’m
about to say most women know, but almost
no man knows.
How often have you heard of a female
serving divorce papers on her husband or
threatening to? Well, guess what, guys.
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Andey Randead
Women often do this strictly to “shock him
straight.” That’s right. Females actually
strategize with each other when one of them
feels her relationship or her man is getting
unbearable. One of the more drastic measures they employ, after conferring with
their female counterparts, is to visit a lawyer and have her husband served with divorce papers for the sole purpose of forcing
him to submit to her demands or otherwise
smarten up. In their minds, they think this is
a legitimate tactic with good intentions,
which is saving their marriage by waking
him up.
The problem is this. Although women
convince themselves that this action is well
intentioned, it often gets abused. The issues
that they seek to resolve become more menial than legitimate wrongdoing on his part.
Again, it’s the options and tolerance thing.
Because their tolerance has been lowered,
the things they see as unbearable are less
and less severe. This ploy is not too risky
for them to try. If it works, he conforms and
becomes better for her; if it doesn’t, she
proceeds with the divorce and seeks financial gratification with the law of the land on
her side. You might say it’s a no-lose
The Great Female Con
55
proposition for her.
Females will make sure that your children understand, from her perspective, what
is happening and why. The kids will be told
of all the things their father has done and
how this is all his fault. Of course, they’ll
do that in a diplomatic way, but the end result will be the children will come to believe it. She must justify her actions, and
how she does it is to subtly mother-fuck the
children’s father. Often not even very subtly. Of course, she is not going to be the one
who takes any of the blame or responsibility for the split-up. Women never take responsibility for anything. No, that would be
much too noble for a female. She must justify the split-up by destroying the man’s
credibility to the rest of the family. This
takes the responsibility off her shoulders
and places it squarely on his.
The problem is this: In doing so, she has
completely proven her lack of respect for
him and her family. No one who truly respects anyone would play that kind of a
game. That is a very serious, very ugly
game. Yet they do it without regard for the
ramifications to him, the children, their
family, and their friends. Not only is this
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disrespectful, it’s extremely selfish. Yet
they do it all the time. This same scenario
plays out even worse when the man seeks
to leave her. If he seeks to leave her, all
bets are off.
Another of the great female cons is that
women love, respect, and cherish you
through thick and thin. I’ve got news for
you, guys. A woman’s love and loyalty are
conditional on you wanting her and her
wanting you. If either of those two things
changes, the love and loyalty go out the
window. A lot of guys think that if there are
children involved, there will be some sort
of relationship between you and her even if
you divorce. Good luck with that. No matter who’s involved, once you have told her
you want out, you’re finished with her. She
will have zero obligations to you in her
mind. She will turn into the devil himself,
seeking to destroy your life any way she
can. That usually entails going for the
jugular financially and ruining your relationship with your children. The way she
sees it, you have ruined her life, so she must
get even and ruin yours.
The only thing that will curtail this irrational reaction to some degree is when she
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57
meets someone else. Then she may lighten
up a little on the psycho shit with you. So,
guys, if you’re planning to dump your wife,
you’d better have a replacement guy for
her. That will make things a lot more tolerable and manageable in ending it. Probably
will prevent her ruining your relationship
with your kids, as well. Again, the selfish
issue comes into play, as she is really only
looking at it from her perspective.
When things get tough, a person’s true
colors come out, and women’s true selfinterest really shines when they feel their
relationship is at risk. When the chips are
down and it looks like things aren’t going
so well in her life, the typical woman loses
regard for everything. She’ll cry, scream,
make a scene in public, get the kids involved, get the police involved, fabricate
stories, blatantly lie, and do anything that
will bring attention to the fact that she is
unhappy and in psychological pain. She’ll
physically attack you, and if you dare try to
stop her from hitting you, she will run to
the police and tell everyone else you are a
wife-beater and have been abusing her,
leaving you to be prosecuted by the biased,
one-sided laws. In her mind, the world must
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stop, and everyone must get involved in her
problem and try to help her. Women are
much too self-centered and immature to
deal with anything serious in the relationship. No, that would be much too noble.
She must drag anyone and everyone within
earshot into it.
Why is this? There are several reasons
females respond this way. Firstly, they’re
really only concerned about themselves.
Secondly, they have little respect for the
man they are with. I have made many enemies over the years because I refuse to be
made to feel uncomfortable when a personal situation between a couple arises. Invariably the female will make a scene, disregarding that anyone else with them is becoming uncomfortable while witnessing
this. They will cry, yell, and talk about personal things, right in public and in front of
whoever happens to be there at the time.
Stop and think about this. That alone proves
a level of immaturity, selfishness, and lack
of respect. If a man were to act this way in
public, he would be outcast from society.
No one would ever want to be around him
again. He would be classified as a loser, a
wife-abuser, and an asshole. Yet women do
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it all the time, and it’s tolerated. Well, not
by me. I will continue to let them know,
whenever I’m within earshot of an episode,
that I don’t wish to become involved in
their dirty laundry and please take it home.
I tried to understand why females seem
less mature and more selfish than men.
First, I looked at specifics to see that they
actually are. Did you ever watch a group of
grown women at a strip show? It’s like a
group of teenagers. You’d think they’d
never seen a penis in their lives. They
laugh, they scream, they grab, and they
suck. Unbelievable. I always used to think
that this was because women were not used
to this luxury of seeing male strippers, and
since it was a novelty, they were goofier
about how they responded to it.
Men, on the other hand, have been doing that for years. They are much more civil
and reserved. They basically just sit and
watch. No teenage antics, usually. So I figured that once the novelty wore off, females
would eventually act similarly to the males.
Well, guess what? It’s been many years
since the advent of male strippers, and females are still as goofy and immature as
ever. Even though most have seen more
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dick ends than weekends, they still react in
an immature, childish way towards it. Is it
because they’re embarrassed? The way they
grab at the guy’s cock would suggest not. Is
it because it’s a novelty? They’ve been doing it for thirty years now. Is it because they
haven’t seen many before? Fat chance.
Although this is one silly example of
women’s immaturity, I believe it is an indicator of one of my theories. There is no
question that women mature faster than
men both physically and mentally. However, I believe they only mature to a certain
point. Men, although slower, mature to a
higher level. This is why women can do
and say much more to men than men can do
or say to women. Men are mature enough to
deal with it and let it slide. Women aren’t.
As a man, if I were to make any comment
that was even in the slightest bit derogatory,
disrespectful, or degrading towards women,
every woman in the room would jump up
and protest, yet women can say the exact
same thing about men and guys just let it
slide. So much so that women don’t even
realize when they’ve made a comment that
is really sexist towards men. That’s not
training or tolerance on the men’s part;
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61
that’s a higher level of maturity at play.
Recently I was reading an article in
Oprah’s magazine where she was interviewing Tina Turner. I couldn’t believe the
blatant hypocrisy and immaturity displayed
by Tina. Oprah was asking about her relationship with her mate, a much younger
man. Tina calmly explains that this relationship is different than the ones you typically see with older men and younger
women. Her relationship was based on respect and love. Her younger mate was very
mature, so he didn’t seem a lot younger to
her. Also, her mate made her feel young
and good about herself. Tina went on to explain how with older men and younger
women, it’s more superficial and not based
on real emotion. It’s more an ego boost for
the male. She basically goes on to chastise
older men who are with younger women.
Unbelievable. Here she is, doing the exact same thing, and she’s critical of other
men who do what she’s doing. Does she not
think that in those other relationships the
man thinks his younger mate seems older
than her years? Does she not think that his
younger mate makes him feel good about
himself? Does she not think that in those
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other relationships, there is also real emotion? Of course there are the same dynamics in other relationships; she just doesn’t
acknowledge or realize it. It’s like Jesse
James criticizing someone for being a bank
robber. What a hypocrite. Oprah actually
agreed with her and seemed to understand
what she was talking about with older men
and younger women.
Can you imagine if Oprah was interviewing Hugh Hefner? What would Oprah
say if he started criticizing women who are
with younger men because it’s so shallow
and isn’t right? I can tell you, she would not
just sit there and agree the way she did with
Tina. The other shocking and telling thing
to me is that no woman who read that article recognized the blatant hypocrisy inherent in it, yet every one of them would have
seen the hypocrisy in my hypothetical Hefner story. Funny thing is, most guys would
also recognize the hypocrisy in Hugh’s
story. That’s what I mean about a higher
level of maturity.
Any day you sit down and watch TV,
there are examples of female hypocrisy and
male bashing. This contributes to society’s
outlook on things as well. Women watch
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this more than anyone else. It shapes the
way they think and act. This same hypocrisy and immaturity openly displayed on
TV is filtered down into everyday women.
As for the older man/younger woman relationship, I can tell you that I know several
such relationships. They are most certainly
based on real love, emotion, and respect.
Women just don’t want to acknowledge it
because they don’t like the idea of men being able to do that, yet when a woman does
it, it’s totally justified and understood.
Women use that selective understanding
with many other male/female issues.
You see and hear it all the time. For
several years I have consciously listened to
the comments from females about males
and tried to imagine myself saying exactly
the same thing about a woman. They would
go ape shit. I was recently at a party where
several couples were chatting in a circle.
Someone made a Lorena Bobbitt joke,
which got a few of the females chuckling
and talking about the whole Lorena and
John Wayne Bobbitt incident. As you may
recall, Lorena Bobbitt, in the middle of the
night, while her husband, John Wayne, was
asleep, sliced his penis off. Lorena thought
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he was having an affair, and she thought
she’d fix the problem herself. She was later
charged with a serious criminal offense.
Ultimately she was acquitted, to the delight
of many females. One of the women at the
party loudly, and in front of all the men and
women, says, “Looks good on him; he deserved it,” referring to the husband who got
his penis sliced off.
I was stunned. Can you imagine if a guy
said that about a female who was maimed
or abused by her spouse? They would have
gone ballistic. Any guy would never even
think about saying anything like that in
mixed company, yet this female had no
problem blurting that out in front of everyone. She didn’t even consider how sexist
and chauvinistic it was. There is definitely a
double standard.
Recently I was watching Katie Couric
on The Today Show, and she was talking
about Ivana Trump. She quite cheerfully
explained how Ivana was seeing a much
younger man. Katie, in a condoning way,
explained how Ivana always says, “I’d
rather be the babysitter than the nurse.” Of
course, giddy laughter ensued, and Katie
was very pleased with her story. The only
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65
problem is this: A few weeks earlier, she
was discussing older men with younger
women. She specifically talked about Michael Douglas and his wife Katherine Zeta
Jones. Her tone was disapproving, and she
commented that she felt that men were
shallow for needing eye candy on their arm
for ego gratification only. She also made
disparaging remarks about any female who
would get involved with an older man, as it
was obviously superficial. At the end of the
segment, when describing older men with
younger women, she said, “Eew.” Not only
an example of a hypocrite, but also an example of immaturity.
There is an ongoing effort by male TV
personalities to be careful not to make any
disparaging or sexist remarks about females. You can tell they’re constantly on
eggshells. They know there will be repercussions if they make any opinionated
comments about women. Females are the
predominant viewers, they would complain.
Yet the female TV personalities have no
problems making derogatory or opinionated
comments about men all the time. They are
constantly and subtly bashing men, sometimes blatantly. Men are more mature and
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take it for what it’s worth, whereas females
do take issue with it.
Next time you’re watching any one of
these daytime shows, try and reverse what
the women are saying and pretend a man
would have said it about women. The reaction would be quick and severe. As stupid
as this may sound, watch Jerry Springer
just once with this in mind. Whenever a
male comes out who is cheating, he gets
completely chastised by the women in the
audience. They boo, they yell, they call him
all sorts of names, they would lynch him if
they could.
However, when a female comes out and
has cheated on her man, the men are not
nearly as vocal. There may be a few chants
but not many more other than what the producers have solicited. The women don’t
yell the same; there is a noticeable difference in the volume of disapproval. There is
much more understanding towards their
own gender when they do something
wrong. There is more of a willingness to
seek a reason for her failure. Her man must
have caused it. Can’t be her fault. This is
the selfish, immature, self-righteous side of
females. Do they not realize that when a
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67
man cheats, it may have been his wife’s
fault to some degree? That never crosses
their minds, but they instantly consider it
when a woman cheats.
There has always been more of a willingness to understand why a woman has
cheated than why a man has cheated. When
men cheat, they’re dogs, assholes, idiots
who have risked their families for a cheap
piece of ass. When a woman cheats, there is
an instant search for the cause. What did he
do that drove her to it? Did he ignore her?
Was he not there for her? Was he abusing
her in some way? There must be some reason for her to cheat. Sound self-righteous?
It does, doesn’t it? Men step up when they
cheat. They admit it, they apologize, and
they say it won’t happen again. When a
woman cheats, they deny, deny, deny, first
of all. Then, if denying is no longer an option, they throw it right back on his shoulders. They explain how it was entirely his
fault and that if he did this or that differently, she would never have faltered. They
rarely step up, take responsibility, and
apologize.
Does this sound self-righteous and immature? Why does no one search for a
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cause when the man fails? Do women think
that men are so insignificant that they need
not seek a cause for his failure? The cause
is already known. He’s a man. That’s the
way women think. Sound a little selfcentered, selfish, sexist, even femalechauvinist-piggish? Do they not think that
the cause of his failure might be that in the
last several years, she hasn’t been screwing
him as frequently as before? No. Don’t they
think that maybe he’s tired of jerking off all
the time because he can’t get it from her?
No. Don’t they think that maybe her gaining twenty-five pounds might have something to do with it? No. Don’t they think
that turning into a less tolerant bitch might
have had something to do with it? No.
Although these and other things may be
totally relevant to his failure, women don’t
look at that. They already know the cause.
He’s a dog. Simple. Whenever a man gets
caught, he is tarred and feathered, and everyone must know it. When she gets caught,
it turns into another lynching of him for all
his failures that forced her into sucking another man’s dick. He is the bad guy again.
And guess what, guys. You fall for it. It’s
another one of the great female cons. No
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69
matter what, you’re wrong. These are all
very good indicators of women’s true nature. Bottom line is this: Women are like
maple trees, men like oak trees. The maples grow fast, but only to a certain
point. The oak takes time, but grows to a
higher level of maturity.
Do you ever see a shopping mall with
as many or more men’s stores than
women’s stores? Never. Every one of them
has more women’s shops than men’s.
Sometimes five to one. Why is that? The
answer is obvious. There is much more of a
market for women’s goods than men’s.
Women buy much more for themselves
than men do. Women can hide their individual selfishness, but they can’t deny society’s demographics that prove it. The shop
ratio is one of those things. Now some
might say that women just enjoy shopping
more than men and that they shop while
men are doing other things that they enjoy.
Why, then, don’t these supposedly selfless
creatures buy as much for their men and
kids than they do for themselves? They still
would be doing what they enjoy, just doing
it for everyone.
The answer is simple; they shop mainly
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for themselves because in reality they are
more vain and concerned about themselves.
Vanity and self-centeredness are not very
different. Have you ever talked to anyone
who owns or works for a restaurant or
nightclub? It’s an undeniable fact that the
females are much more demanding and
much less generous with their tips than men
are. They are also much more disgustingly
filthy in their restrooms than the men are.
Both of these facts point to an inherent
selfish disposition in women in general that
they can’t deny. Individually, they have deniability about their self-centeredness, but
as a group in society, their real makeup is
undeniable. When no one is looking and
there is no individual accountability,
women’s true colors come out.
So why are women more selfish and
immature than men? I think you have to
look at their upbringing. Women are always
the ones being chased. They never did the
chasing. The men were the ones who had to
do the asking and get rejected. Women
didn’t have to deal with rejection as much.
At least, not as blatantly. A girl growing up
deals with rejection in a much more subtle
way. Someone won’t call her or won’t ask
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71
her to play. Guys get told right to their face,
“No. I’m not interested. I’m busy tonight.”
That’s a much more intense level of reality
and rejection than what any girl will face.
As a result, the guys develop a deeper tolerance for what to expect out of other people.
They know what it feels like to be told
point blank, “I’m not interested in you.”
They develop a deeper feeling of empathy
with others since they have dealt with it
themselves. They actually develop a heart.
As much as society and the great female
con want us to believe that women have a
bigger heart than men, it’s simply not true.
Women have much less sympathy and empathy for others than men do. Again, they
got used to saying no instead of being told
no. It’s like a hunter who has killed his prey
for years; he no longer feels sorry for them.
He just goes about his business and does
what he has to do. But the hunter who has
just started and hasn’t gotten used to it will
go through a period of feeling some sort of
sympathy for his prey. Women have been
saying no and rejecting men for so long that
by the time they’re adults, it doesn’t faze
them anymore. They just do what they have
to do and go about their business and not
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give it another thought. This lack of empathy leads to more time to think about themselves, which leads to selfishness. Selfishness leads to believing that you’re never
wrong, so enter self-righteousness. Selfrighteousness leads to superiority, which
leads to less tolerance about how others
treat you. All of that contributes to immaturity.
And there you have it. Generally
speaking, women are colder, more selfish,
more self-righteous, less empathetic, and
less mature than men. Now look back with
this is mind. Think about all the wild stories
that you heard about how a certain woman
reacted in a particular situation or what she
did to the guy in a divorce, or how she had
him thrown in jail, or how she ruined her
kids’ lives by involving them in an ugly
accusation of abuse by their father. Does it
make a little more sense as to how these
supposed angelic creatures are capable of
these actions? Also notice that whenever a
woman cries, it’s usually for herself. It’s
rare to see a woman cry because she’s
feeling sorry for someone else. She usually
only cries when she’s feeling sorry for herself.
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CHAPTER FIVE
Cheating
A
s much as I criticize women, I will
give them their due. Women are and
will always be the smarter, superior sex.
All the things I speak of could only come to
pass if the women are sharper than the
guys, and they are. In being smarter, they
calculate things better. For example, when
men cheat, it is more spontaneous. Unlike
women, men can’t just go out any night of
the week and get laid. Their opportunities
in that regard are more limited. Therefore,
when one arises, they have to act on it right
then, or lose it forever. Any night a woman
goes out, she can get it if she really wants
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to. That’s just a fact of life.
If there is anyone out there who doesn’t
believe me, go to any bar or lounge. One
guy, one woman. Each of you go and ask
each member of the opposite sex if they are
interested in a one-night stand, because
your spouse is away and you only have this
one opportunity. I will guarantee you that
the women will have takers and guys will
not. That’s just a simple fact of life; women
can get laid whenever they want. Men
can’t. As a result, men are more likely to
fuck up in getting caught. He can’t pick and
choose when, where, or with whom his opportunity will happen. It might be at the local neighborhood bar.
A man also can’t control as well as a
woman his desire for sex. Men’s desire is
more of a physical one; women’s is more
of an emotional one. Women’s intimate
desires are more controllable than the
physical testosterone calling. When it calls
and there’s an opportunity, look out.
Women, on the other hand, can plan to get
their strange piece of ass. They will go out
of town, plan a shopping trip with the girls,
or something like that. That’s when they
will create their opportunity for strange sex.
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75
Also, when women cheat, they’re dealing
with a strange guy who is more than likely
happy with just a one-night stand and leaving it at that. When men cheat, they are
dealing with a female who likely isn’t so
happy just to have a one-nighter. She may
seek more and pursue him. This may eventually lead to her making sure his wife finds
out about it and causing him to get caught.
That’s why it seems that men cheat more
than women.
This is another one of the great female
cons. Women actually cheat just about as
much as men; they just don’t get caught
as often. Because they can control their opportunities and desires more, they are better
able to pick and choose their time, place,
and person. That combination will be such
that will ensure that they don’t get caught.
Men, on the other hand, have to take it
when it’s there, regardless of the risk; therefore, they get caught more. That’s where
the self-righteousness comes in. Women are
much more interested in maintaining their
record of not failing than they are getting
laid. Especially when they can have both.
So, guys, look out when your woman goes
away. I’m not saying that they cheat when-
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ever they go away; I’m saying that if they
are looking to cheat, they will do it when
they go away. That way, they can still have
you look at them as the angelic saints that
you think they are and never give you anything on them. They’re much too smart for
that.
One last thing about how women think.
Women do aspire to the “if no one knows
about it, it didn’t happen” mindset.
That’s why for women it’s much more important not to get caught than it is not to do
it in the first place. Regardless of what they
do, if no one knows about it or they didn’t
get caught, it didn’t happen and they will go
to their death claiming it didn’t happen.
Men periodically admit wrongdoings;
sometimes their conscience makes them
admit to something even if their spouse did
not know of it. Females would never allow
their conscience to get to them that way.
They would never feel guilty enough to
admit to anything that wasn’t known, not
unless it worked to her advantage to do so.
The only other reason she would spill is if
she was convinced there was a chance that
something would get back to her spouse,
and in that case she would want to put her
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77
version of events forward first. Of course,
her version won’t be anything close to the
truth but will be designed to provide her
deniability if he hears from someone else
later. Her selfish desire to maintain her purity is much stronger than her conscience
will ever be. She would never be that simple just to give something like that to her
spouse, another indicator of her selfrighteousness.
One other thing about the way women
think about cheating. If you have gotten
caught cheating, she must get even. You
may not know it, but she has to do it so in
her own mind the score is settled. It might
not be right away, it might not be until
years later, but eventually she will settle the
score, and in her mind she will have done
nothing wrong. She has only done it because of your failure to her. That’s how
women think. Not only do they want to settle the score, they’ll do it without you even
knowing it. As much as they desire to make
themselves feel okay about what you did by
doing it themselves, they can’t have you
know that they’re not the angels you think
they are. They want it both ways.
Although most of the time men and
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women have reasons to cheat, men a lot of
times just need some “strange.” Men’s
biological urges and instincts, which are
ingrained in his makeup, order him to fuck
as many women as he can. Although he can
curtail that instinct for a while when he is in
a happy relationship, eventually he will
need some “strange.” Monogamy is a scary
word for men, just about as scary as commitment. Probably one of the things men
fear the most about commitment is monogamy. They don’t ever want to think that
they will only be able to screw one woman
for the rest of their lives. That is extremely
frightening to most men. Sometimes when
men cheat, there really is no explainable
cause. It’s just that he needed and wanted
some “strange.” Since men don’t need the
intimacy that women do, they have the luxury of simply getting naked with a totally
new female they hardly know, having a
good romp, enjoying it immensely, saying
goodbye, and never seeing her again or
spending any amount of time with her once
it’s over.
That’s another advantage men have
over women in the sex department. When
women are finished having sex, they crave
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79
intimacy then more than ever. They want to
feel your presence and cuddle, further enjoying the intimate experience they just
had. That’s the estrogen-based instinctual
part of women. Men, on the other hand,
can’t get the hell out fast enough when they
are finished. That’s the testosterone-based
instinctual side of men. They want out so
they can go home or sleep. The last thing
they want is to further prolong the experience and cuddle. They want to rest and prepare for the next female. To a man, the
definition of “eternity” is from the time you
blow your load until the time you get home.
That’s fucking eternity.
Now, I will acknowledge that females
also desire “strange” periodically, but it’s
different. A woman needs to know she’s
attractive to another man. She periodically
wants to know that a strange guy is trying
to seduce her. She wants to know that he’s
attracted to her, and the whole seduction,
flirtation, and emotional side of it is what
she seeks. Not so much diving in and doing
it with strange. Not that females will not
ultimately do it; they will. However, with
guys it’s all about the diving in and doing
it; with females it’s more about the atten-
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tion, flirting, and just knowing that a guy
wants to screw her and finds her attractive.
That’s the part of “strange” women need
periodically.
There are many highly successful men
who make it clear that monogamy is a scary
thing. Gene Simmons, the KISS mogul, often talks about the scary side of marriage
because of monogamy, among other things.
He is a highly successful guy and he admits
it is a concern to guys. You have to give
him kudos for that. Most guys in his position wouldn’t have the balls to admit such a
thing, but it’s true. He also lives, unmarried,
with a great, beautiful lady and they seem
to be very happy. In some cases, not getting
married is the key to staying happy. I believe this relationship is one of those cases.
Here is a high-profile, ultra-successful guy
who has had a great life with his mate, had
a couple of beautiful, well-balanced children, and has never been married to her.
My hat’s off to you, Gene. Food for
thought, guys.
As birds can’t fight their instinct to fly
out of the nest when it’s time, as geese
can’t stop flying south in the winter, as
bears can’t refuse to hibernate over winter,
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81
men cannot fight their natural, biological,
instinctual urges, either. When the urge is
there, they must act on it. Unfortunately for
women, that urge is to go and get some
“strange” once in a while. Nothing she can
do will change that. No matter how hot she
is and how sexy she dresses, to her man she
is not “strange.” When he needs “strange,”
his mate will not do. Plain and simple.
Can’t fight nature, ladies.
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83
CHAPTER SIX
The Male Ego
O
kay, enough female bashing. Although
all of what I said is undeniable, it’s not
all women’s fault. They are not the only
cause for all of the problems that have been
created in society in recent years. Men must
take their share of the responsibility in all
of the issues that I have discussed. Many of
the traits in men have contributed to the
way women are. Let’s face it; women are
smart, perceptive, intuitive beings, much
more so than men. They talk about things
more with each other; they brainstorm
much more. They don’t suffer from the
male ego.
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Yes, the infamous male ego, the cause
of most of men’s plights. Women learn
early in life how to handle a guy. They
know that if you stroke a man’s ego, you
have a much better chance of getting what
you want out of them. Men are suckers and
slaves to their egos, and women know it
and exploit it. That doesn’t make women
bad people, that makes them very shrewd.
As in any animal species, they all have their
offensive and defensive mechanisms. When
weak in offense, nature makes sure they’re
strong in their defense. The porcupine may
not be fast or strong, but it has long, sharp
needles sticking out of its body so if anyone
wants to try and take advantage of its
weakness, they will have to deal with its
other strong defenses.
Humans are no different. When a person loses his eyesight, his hearing and smell
become more sensitive. Nature has designed humans to compensate for their
weaknesses and deficiencies. Women are
no different. When having to deal with the
natural disadvantages that society has
placed on women over the years, they have
to excel at other traits to equalize their other
disadvantages. In many ways, females have
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gotten the short end of the stick over the
years. They have been made to believe that
they have to be pristine in their lives. They
must be pure, innocent, and caring. If they
are not, society looks down at them. If they
dare explore their natural sexual urges or
fantasies, they’re sluts; guys are studs when
they do. If women go somewhere alone,
they’re looking to get laid or threaten other
women’s men; guys aren’t given a second
look when they go somewhere alone. When
a woman is single at thirty, she’s a loser no
one wants; single men at thirty are enjoying
their youth and independence. If a woman
is successful in her career, she’s a selfish
bitch who ignores her family; a successful
guy is an entrepreneur looking after his
family.
I can go on and on with examples of
how women have gotten the short end of
the stick in society. Therefore, they must
excel in other areas. They must be
shrewder, smarter, more perceptive, maybe
even a little more calculating and deceptive.
Yes, I said deceptive. Women have been
given no choice but to be deceptive to some
degree. Society has placed the bar so high
as to how women are supposed to be, that
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almost no woman can truly rise to that bar.
Their shortcomings, according to society,
must be concealed. Otherwise, they risk
being outcast to some degree among their
friends and peers.
A guy can stare at a passing young female and not be so concerned about how
his spouse or society will judge him. If she
were to stare at a good-looking young guy,
his male ego could not handle it, and she
knows it; she’d be frowned upon. Therefore, she has to look without moving her
head and maybe with her peripheral vision.
Don’t kid yourself, guys, she will still look;
she just has to do it covertly. She has to
protect your sensitive male ego, as well as
society’s perception of her. Women have to
learn many little tricks like this to protect
the fragile male ego and the expectations
that society has unreasonably placed on her.
As a result, women do become deceptive to
some degree. But is that their doing, or just
a result of the mindset of the men and society they’re dealing with? I would suggest
it’s the latter.
Here’s another one of my theories:
Women are the water, men the glass. To
a large degree the woman conforms to the
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man. When you pour water into a tall, narrow glass, the water goes up; if the glass is
low and wide, the water goes there. When a
woman is dealing with a wuss, she becomes
strong-willed, probably controls the relationship and calls most of the shots. She
will take full advantage of his wimpy nature, bitch-slapping him at will. Also, she
has to fill the void that his demeanor has
created. If she’s with a guy with balls, then
she must tone it down and become more
docile. She must be more complaisant and
take on more of a traditional female role.
Not only can she not get away with as
much, but also there are fewer voids to fill
because there is already someone taking on
the lead role. There must be someone who
takes the lead role for a relationship to survive.
Ironically, nature has put the female in
this conforming role physically, as well. If
you look at men and women’s anatomies,
the woman is the one conforming to the
male. She can deal with how big or small,
thin or thick he is. He doesn’t change; she
adjusts, naturally. I’m not suggesting that
this physical trait affects the psychological
traits; it’s just an interesting parallel. It’s
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interesting that a woman’s body is like her
mind, very adaptive. Most men don’t realize this, and women are just fine with men
not knowing their true, natural, conformist
tendencies. Another one of the great female
cons. Of course, almost every woman will
call bullshit on this and say that she is her
own woman, regardless of how her man is.
The odd one may be right in this assertion,
but generally speaking, that assertion is
false bravado.
How often have you seen the same guy
date four or five different girls over the
years, and the girls all turn out to be almost
exactly the same? Often, when a guy has a
bitch for a spouse, everyone is thrilled
when the relationship ends. They’re happy
he can finally go out and find someone who
will treat him better. Yet, lo and behold, the
next female turns out to be the same, if not
worse than the first. At first the new girl
seems great, much nicer than the last. She
respects him more. Within a couple of
months, however, she’s treating him like
shit, just like the last one.
Why is that? The water and the glass.
He is creating those traits in the female. She
sees what he is like and conforms to what
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she needs to be based on how he is. She
will go as far as is tolerated by him. He is
creating the bitch that shits on him. He can
go out and date five more and it won’t
matter; they all will eventually end up being
like the first. It’s not them, it’s him.
People in general – and women are no
exception – will go as far as you let them
go with you. People always seek the limits
of where they can venture in any relationship. They must find and test the limits of
the other person’s boundaries. That’s just a
normal human behavioral thing. Women
are just much better at that than men are.
It’s one of the skills they have to fine-tune
as a result of all the other disadvantages
they have to deal with. Remember my tenyear-old schoolyard female friend playing
“it.” She was conforming to the situation to
get what she wanted. She also did it in a
very clever way. If females are that good at
it at such a young age, you can imagine
how good they will become as adults. And
most guys have no clue. They stumble
along thinking that females are like them
and take it as it comes without much
thought. Good luck with that, guys.
I have seen very strong-willed, inde-
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pendent women turn into old-school
housewives who comply with almost all of
her spouse’s demands. She takes a back
seat to almost all of his whims. Other docile
females I’ve known were looking to play
the traditional wife role, yet they now are
strong-willed, bread-winning mothers who
are the head of the family and wear the
pants in their relationship. In the first case,
she had an older, conservative, very successful male who wanted the traditional
marriage. She had to adapt if she was going
to be in his life, so she did. That’s just the
way it was. In the second case, she ended
up with a modern-day de-balled male who
was a soft, compliant, easy individual who
didn’t have a lot of ambition. She had to
adapt and take on the role of the head of the
family.
Women are very good at filling in the
voids in a relationship that the male creates.
They are also great at gauging who they’re
dealing with and figuring out how far they
can go with every man. I’ve often seen the
same woman with different guys, and
they’re totally different with each one. Yet
usually the guys are pretty much the same
in each relationship they’re in. Men also
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change a little, but not nearly as drastically.
Women are capable of a complete change,
night and day, whereas guys only moderately change depending on who they are
with.
For the women who think they prefer a
wuss, think about this. A wuss may be great
in the short term. He listens, he complies,
and you can put him on a short leash.
Problem is this: Wusses by nature are not
very strong-willed. They have little backbone, no scruples or morals. Unlike the guy
with balls, wusses are like puppy dogs.
Have you ever seen a puppy dog? He may
appear to be compliant, need you profusely,
and want to stay on your ankle forever.
However, the minute another ankle comes
around, he’s gone. He’s now rubbing the
next ankle and complying with her orders
and demands. I’ve always warned women
who brag about having total control over
their guy. I tell them, “You have a puppy
dog on you ankle; you’d better hope another ankle doesn’t come along, because if
it does, your little puppy dog is gone.”
Guys with balls might be harder to deal
with on a daily basis, but they generally
have a spine. They are not as likely to fall
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in love with the first strange blowjob they
get. They may take the blowjob, but they’ll
keep it in perspective and still go home at
the end of the day. The wuss will not only
take the blowjob, he’ll fall in love with it
and forsake everything for it.
Given what I’ve said about how males
to a large degree create how the females
are, it’s just as much their fault the way
women have evolved over the last forty
years. If men wouldn’t have been so indifferent about their relationships and families,
the laws would never have become so unfair, divorce would not have flourished, and
females would not feel so entitled. Yet here
we are. The laws are so unfair toward men
that we are putting them in jail for not being
able to pay the often unreasonable amounts
of money they are ordered to pay. How
many guys do you know (I know plenty)
who work sixty hours a week and are left
with nothing for themselves? God forbid if
they miss a beat, because if they do, they
face more prosecution, jail, and being labeled a deadbeat dad. Now, I know there
are some situations where it’s deserved, but
more often than not, women abuse the luxury of having the law on their side.
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In some areas, they even have what they
call a zero-tolerance policy towards physical abuse. What that means is that whenever a female spouse claims she’s been assaulted, the man goes to jail, no questions
asked. I have seen a man with black eyes
from his wife punching him, go to jail because when the police were called, she immediately claimed he “grabbed” her. Yeah,
grabbed her to stop her from giving him
another black eye. Yet off goes the man. I
have seen lawyers advising their female
clients, who are involved in legal disputes
over who gets what in the house or who
will stay behind in the house. They are advised to call the police, claim assault, and
while he’s in jail, to take whatever she
wants out of the house or change the locks
while he’s gone and claim it as her residence. Can you image the poor shmuck
being thrown in jail for nothing, having to
spend a couple thousand dollars on a lawyer
to get out, and then coming home only to
find she’s changed the locks and now he
has nowhere to live? If this kind of treatment were bestowed upon women, you’d
never hear the end of it. But guys get this
treatment all the time, and it’s no big deal.
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Men don’t rally behind each other the
way women do. It’s the old male ego coming back to haunt them. They can’t rally
with other males over such things; it would
show weakness and hurt their egos. It’s
much easier just to take it up the ass and let
it slide. Let someone else worry about it.
Well, let me tell you, women aren’t that
stupid. They do rally behind each other
when it comes to relationship issues, and
believe me, those issues include the laws of
the land and lobbying for more favorable
laws. Guys don’t see that. They are too
simple, too indifferent, or too conned by the
great female con to believe that women actually think about these things.
Well, believe it, guys. How do you
think we got to where we are? It didn’t just
happen on its own. We are here due to a lot
of planning, lobbying, conning, and crying
the blues by women. It has gotten so bad
that guys can’t even complain about how
unfair they are treated in family law matters, because the minute you do, you’re labeled a whiner, a sexist, a deadbeat dad, or
a loser husband. This is as a result of years
of letting things slide instead of taking a
stand years ago. Men should have rallied as
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soon as the laws started to become grossly
unfair. Then maybe they could have curtailed the degree and speed of the changes.
The divorce rate would not have risen, one
side would not have an unfair advantage
over the other, and the de-balling of the
modern male would not have happened,
which, by the way, is the biggest problem
created by all of this. It’s also the problem
that will take the longest to reverse. If you
leave it up to the women, they will continue
to change the laws in their favor, right up
until there is not one guy left in the world
who would get married. Then, and only
then, would they stop, look at the situation,
and say, “Maybe we’ve gone too far.” Well,
ladies, you’re almost there.
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CHAPTER SEVEN
Punishment/Reward
T
he male ego has much to do with the
way women interact with us. The guy
who is able to control his ego is able to
control his life. It’s almost that simple. The
single most effective way for a woman to
control a man is to use his ego against him.
If your ego is in check, then you are less
likely to be controlled. Ego is what makes
us targets. Ego is what makes us jealous. I
have two simple rules when dealing with
women and your egos. Rule #1: Never,
never, never chase her. Rule #2: If for any
reason you are thinking about chasing her,
refer to rule #1. The moment you chase a
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female, you are doomed for life. You will
be chasing her forever. As I have said, one
of the most effective tools a female has to
use against her man is the jealousy tool.
Whenever she thinks you are in need of a
kick in the ass for whatever reason, she can
get you coming by playing the jealousy
card. Guys’ egos don’t allow them to just
walk away when this card is being played.
If you’re at a party and she’s acting like
a little hose bag with a few guys, you will
respond. You will go and try to stop her.
You will make a fool out of yourself. Why?
Your ego makes you jealous. Most likely
the reason you are made to worry about her
making you jealous from time to time is
that it has worked for her before. If you
have responded in any way, shape, or form
to her flirtatious ways with other guys, she
will do it again. Most guys think that as
long as you respond in a very unpleasant
way, this will be a deterrent. Wrong. What
men don’t realize is that to a woman, any
attention is good attention. If she sees that
you are not paying attention to her, or being
a little out of control yourself, she will employ the jealousy card. She will seek ways
to make you crazy and chase her, instead of
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whatever it was you were doing. This may
vary from very subtle ways, like appearing
to not be interested in you, to very obvious
ways, like returning another guy’s glance,
or enjoying being flirted with, or outright
flirting themselves. Women will also play
this card if you are not stepping up in the
commitment department. The moment you
respond to the big “U,” an ultimatum, or
chase her and get upset when she plays the
jealousy card, you will be dealing with both
over and over.
Humans are animals, and in a lot of
ways respond as animals do. If your dog
were to shit in the middle of your living
room, and you ran over and gave him a biscuit, chances are he would shit in your living room again. If, on the other hand, you
went over and grabbed him by the scruff of
the neck, threw him outside, and didn’t feed
him for a couple of days, chances are he
wouldn’t shit there again. It’s basic punishment/reward. Women know this more
than anyone. Once you have responded to
her ultimatum or jealousy play, it’s like
giving her the biscuit. She will do it again.
You will be dealing with ultimatums and
chasing her as she makes you jealous
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whenever she needs to give you a kick in
the ass. Any response is a good response to
her. It’s diverted whatever else you were
doing and directed your attention to her.
Getting your attention is the biscuit. Your
getting mad is the reward. It’s attention.
That’s a win for her and worth playing that
card. The only response that will ensure
you won’t have to deal with this play is to
leave it alone and walk away. Let her know
you will not respond by giving her attention
in any way, good or bad. The message you
need to send is that you will be driven away
from her when she does that. That’s like
throwing the dog outside and not feeding it.
Although this may all seem juvenile and
immature, it does happen. These are the basic dynamics of any relationship. A woman
will test the boundaries of all aspects of her
involvement with you. She will want to see
if you respond to certain things. As much as
you may think this is simplistic, these
thoughts and games do happen in almost
every relationship.
I once was at a wedding when I witnessed this firsthand. A guy I know was
enjoying himself, talking to a group of buddies he hadn’t seen for a while. His girl-
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friend, whom he’d been dating for several
months, was sitting at their table, bored.
She went to tell him that she was bored and
wanted him to come back to be with her at
the table. He explained that he hadn’t seen
some friends and family for years and
would only be a few more minutes. Instead
of returning to the table, she decided to play
the jealousy card. After walking away from
her boyfriend, she went to the bar to get
herself a drink. Of course, this was in
eyeshot of her boyfriend. Within seconds, a
couple of bachelors hanging around at the
bar started talking and flirting with her. She
giggled and laughed, obviously encouraging them.
This went on for about five minutes.
The boyfriend calmly walked over to his
girlfriend, told her he was leaving, and gave
her twenty dollars for a cab to get home “if
she needed it.” With that, he calmly walked
to the coatroom, got his coat, and started
walking out of the hall. She ran over to him
and started apologizing and pleaded with
him to stay. He told her to enjoy the rest of
her evening with her two new friends, and
then left. She was devastated, crying and
carrying on. We had to help her get in the
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cab to drive her home. Not even for a minute did she consider staying at the wedding
or continuing the flirting with the two studs.
It was obvious that she was only doing it
for her boyfriend’s benefit. She had no real
interest in the two other guys. She was simply playing the “come chase me” card.
Unfortunately for her, it backfired. I
spoke with my friend a few days later, and
he explained that the next morning, he told
her he could no longer see her, as her propensity to flirt and embarrass him was not
what he wanted out of his partner. They
stayed split up for about a month. Eventually they got back together, and after several months they got engaged. He informed
me that he has never had to deal with anything even remotely close to what happened
the night of the wedding. The message was
clear. He would not respond to the ultimatum, or jealously card, in a way that she
would see as beneficial to her. It would
only drive him away, not get his attention
or get him to chase.
Women are very smart and learn
quickly the kind of guy they are dealing
with. It’s part of the glass/water theory. If
they truly believe that certain strategies will
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not work, or even backfire and drive him
away, they will not employ them. Guys
need to find ways to suck it up and not fall
for those ploys. My friend explained to me
that what he did the night of the wedding
was one of the hardest things he ever had to
do in his life. He drove away thinking she
would be getting nailed by those two studs.
He actually convinced himself that she
would probably do that. However, he still
sees it as the right response for him at that
time. He said there was no way he would
set himself up to be chasing his mate for the
rest of his life. He knew if he responded
any other way that night, that is likely what
would have happened. After he dumped
her, she called him constantly day after day
to apologize and try to explain. He was not
interested in talking or listening. His mind
was made up. It was over.
After about a month, he calmed down
and gave her a chance to talk to him about
what had happened. She explained that she
was only trying to get his attention, and
how this was something she had done many
times before with other boyfriends. She
didn’t think it would drive him away, but
bring him to her. He explained that he
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would never chase or cave to any ultimatum, and would never be drawn in by such
a play. That would only drive him away.
I’ve seen them many times since, and she is
either by his side or calmly talking with
others, not even remotely doing anything
disrespectful to him. I have never noticed
her so much as glance at another guy.
Most men’s egos would never allow
them to do what he did. They would most
likely go over and talk to her at the bar,
coax her away from the two studs, and
compliantly go back to the table with her,
not realizing that they just sealed their fate
in having to deal with this “come chase me”
card over and over again. Most guys also
would have probably let her know that they
didn’t appreciate her talking to the two guys
at the bar, further confirming to her that it
worked like a charm. A total victory for
her. You would have just given her a huge
biscuit for shitting in the middle of your
living room. Be prepared for her to do it
again and again.
There are many other ways, much less
obvious, that women will play the jealousy
card. If you are not committing, she will
begin to let you know that she is not happy
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and becoming very concerned about where
her life is going. She will become depressed
and let you know it’s because of you. This
is a more subtle jealously play. Of course,
the underlying message to you is if you
don’t do whatever it is she wants you to do,
she will likely become dissatisfied with you
and look elsewhere. This, of course, entails
being with someone else. It’s a more sophisticated “come chase me” play than the
more blatant public slutty play. However,
the result they seek is the same: get some
sort of response from you, exploiting your
ego and jealously.
Every guy I know who is in a relationship and has been able to control his ego
and not chase, does not ever deal with his
spouse wandering, complaining, or giving
ultimatums. Every guy I know who doesn’t
have his ego in check and is jealous and
possessive, is constantly chasing her and
dealing with the grief of having to worry
about what she’s up to and if she’s making
him look like the shmuck that he really is.
As a guy, you must realize that chasing her
and responding to this play is a death move.
She will have you by the nuts, and it will be
up to her how hard she wants to squeeze.
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Don’t ever put yourself in that position.
Life is much to short to deal with this kind
of grief constantly.
What most guys don’t understand is that
there are two basic types of people. There’s
the type who gives respect to others only
when deserved and rebels when shit on, and
there’s the type you need to shit on to get
their respect. Unfortunately, most guys are
the type you have to shit on to get their respect. The worse you treat them, the better
they treat you and the less they take you for
granted. The better you treat them, the
worse they treat you and take you for
granted. Women know that most guys need
to be shit on from time to time to get their
respect. As a result, they will employ all
these types of strategies like I have discussed. The problem is that, as much as
these strategies work with the majority of
guys, unfortunately it backfires with the
guys who don’t respond to getting shit on.
With those guys, the usual games will backfire.
So, for all you women who listen to
advice from your friends about what to do
with your guy, remember one thing. The
first question from the person you seek ad-
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vice from should be, “What type of guy is
your man? Does he respond when getting
shit on, or does he rebel when getting shit
on?” If that question is not asked prior to
someone giving you advice, don’t listen to
the advice. What will work like a charm
with one type of guy will blow up in your
face with the other type of guy. If your man
is a typical one whose ego is not in check,
he will be the type you have to shit on to
get his respect, or to get him to respond. If
he is the type who has his ego in check,
you’d better not play any of the typical
strategic games to get him to respond. The
jealously card won’t work, the screwtightening won’t work. You have to deal
with him in a much different way. You
must treat him more straightforward. Be
honest with him without the plays; otherwise, he’s gone. However, if you’re honest
with the typical de-balled male, he’ll be
gone. So, determining what type of person
you’re dealing with is critical before you
decide how to deal with him. Generally
speaking, a guy who has balls and is more
of an old-school male will likely rebel
against the jealousy or big “U” plays. The
de-balled ego male will respond quite
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nicely to those plays, and what little balls
he has will be in your hands until you get
tired of his spineless ways.
The punishment/reward theory holds
true for more than just the jealously play. It
comes into play with everything. Attention
is very important to a woman, and she will
find ways to get it. If it means doing nice
things, that’s what she will do. If it means
being a bitch, that’s what she will do. She
will get your attention however you make
her get it from you. That’s why I say the
guy determines, to a large degree, how his
female will treat him. It’s all based on what
it takes to get you to respond the way she
wants you to.
Now that we have touched upon women
who seek advice from their friends, I will
shed some light on this tradition. Women
will seek relationship advice from their
sisters, their mothers, their friends, and just
about any female who will listen to them.
The smart female is the one who makes her
own decision and doesn’t solicit or listen to
the advice of other females. The reason I
say this is that she is the only one who
really knows the whole story. She is the
only one who really knows her man and
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what may be the right or wrong thing to do.
She is smart enough to realize that the advice she will get from her friends is based
on what her friends have been told by her,
and that is very likely a biased account of
the events. This biased account will surely
affect the advice she gets.
The other thing the smart female knows
is that most women are hypocrites. They
will try to get you to stand your ground,
while at the same time they yield and put up
with the very same thing with their men,
not wishing to risk taking a stand. Women
are great at saying, “If I were you, I would .
. .” Whenever you hear, “If I were you,”
run! They are not you; it’s not their heart or
life on the line; it’s yours. I had a friend
once whose girlfriend constantly listened to
her friends, who invariably were recommending that she dump him. This would be
fine, except for the fact that the same girls
who were telling her to dump him were hitting on him when she wasn’t around. He
actually ended up sleeping with one of them
and dating her for quite some time, after the
original girlfriend finally did dump him.
Imagine a friend telling you to dump
your boyfriend while she’s trying to screw
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him. Don’t think this is all that unusual.
When it comes to relationships, women
cannot be trusted by anyone, not even their
close friends. Women truly believe that all
is fair in love and war. The smart female
knows this and will only reveal so much to
her friends, knowing that eventually they
may be a threat to her. There must be no
worse feeling than seeing your man ending
up with one of your friends, especially
when it was one of the friends who was advising you to dump him. I have seen this
scenario play out many times.
Women work within their circle of
friends and associates when seeking a mate.
They don’t like going outside. Men, on the
other hand, usually don’t mind going out of
their circles when seeking a mate. Men can
pick and choose whom they go after,
whereas women have to generally entice
someone to chase her. This is difficult to do
outside your circle of known acquaintances.
As a result, women work within the circle,
and men work outside the circle. If a man
does go inside, it’s usually as a result of
being enticed by another female within.
As a guy, you must be cognizant about
your lady’s friends and how much she lis-
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tens to them. The less your girl shares with
her friends, the better for you and your relationship. Many problems stem from advice given by friends who, supposedly, are
trying to protect their friend from you. This
attempted protection often turns into meddling. One of the unfortunate advents of the
modern female is that they share most everything with their friends. Guys don’t realize how much of their personal life is
thrown around between several ladies,
whom he hardly knows, over a coffee or
tea. In a previous chapter, I spoke of the
lack of respect that females have for men.
These practices, of discussing ultrapersonal matters at will with almost any
friend who will listen, is proof of that theory. This practice is extremely disrespectful
to the guy, yet women do it all the time.
They will discuss penis size, lovemaking
techniques, your kinky fantasies, and hygiene habits. Just about anything that is ultra-personal, and definitely expected to be
kept between you and her, will be discussed.
Ironically, women will not tolerate the
same treatment. Try and tell one of your
friends about your girl’s genitals and see
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the reaction you get from her when she
finds out. She would freak out, yet she is
likely revealing that, and much more, about
you. Another example of women’s hypocrisy. A proven fact is that women utter approximately 30,000 words per day, men
6,000. Believe me, much of the extra
24,000 words are about your ultra-personal
secrets that she is sharing with her friends.
The more you can prevent her from employing this disrespectful habit, the better
your chances of having a good relationship
with her. Unfortunately, women don’t realize this and think that sharing with friends
helps her deal with things. This is not true
at all.
The only person you should share with
is each other. Communication always has
been, and always will be, the most important ingredient in the recipe to a successful
relationship. But that communication has to
be with each other and not outsiders. If you
know your lady is spilling the beans to all
her friends, she is showing little respect for
you and contributing to problems in your
relationship. As they would do, you should
insist that this practice stop. Explain how
this is demeaning and disrespectful to you.
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Also, let her know how she would not
likely appreciate the same treatment by you
and how you would not disrespect her in
this way. Ultra-personal matters, and even
basic relationship matters, should be left
between the two of you.
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CHAPTER EIGHT
The “Oops” Con
G
rowing up a male, there were many
things going through my mind as a
child and adolescent. Most of the things
that go through a boy’s mind are superficial. What would it be like to feel some tits?
How would it feel to get your dick sucked?
What on earth would it be like to put your
penis into a girl’s vagina? Yes, believe it or
not, girls, that’s pretty much the extent of
what most guys think about growing up.
Never once, in all my days growing up, did
I ever think about dating, finding a spouse,
getting married, and having children. At no
time did any of that ever consume my
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thoughts for more than a flash. The most
profound thought that ever went through
my mind was, “What will I be when I grow
up?”
Women, on the other hand, have many
more thoughts than that. At a very early age
they discuss marriage with their mothers.
They look at pictures of their mom on her
wedding day. They play bride with their
friends and pretend one of them is getting
married. They use paper napkins as wedding veils over their heads and pretend
they’re the bride. They have dolls coming
out the wazoo and nurture them endlessly.
They are given hope chests, in the hope of
finding and marrying a man. They are
brainwashed, at an early age, to seek and
want marriage, kids, security, and love.
They come to believe that these things are
the keys to success and happiness.
Compound the brainwashing with the
natural genetic urges of motherhood that all
women are born with, and you have a recipe for the starting of the biological clock.
Oh yes, the dreaded time bomb in all
women’s heads that influences their every
decision. Every woman hears the tic-tock,
tic-tock, tic-tock of that relentless passing
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of time. Sure, some may go through a couple of years of adulthood not too worried
about it, but it quickly becomes a huge priority in their lives. Most women, at some
point in time, will actually enjoy the advantages of having every guy wanting to
screw them. When women are young, they
have the world by the ass. They pick and
choose their mates, get laid whenever they
want, and can’t get enough of having every
guy shower them with attention. A lot of
them think this will last forever, and for a
few years they don’t bother themselves
with what they are about to consume themselves with for the rest of their lives.
Slowly they start to realize that they’re
not the hit of every party, not every guy is
chasing them anymore, and the younger
girls are getting all the attention as they are
slowly pushed aside. That’s when the biological clock’s ticking starts getting really
loud. It makes them need to know where a
relationship is going, sometimes even on
the first date. It makes them look at the
guy’s family to see if genetically he is the
one worthy of her. It makes her look at his
future and his ambitions and his ability to
look after her and her children, emotionally
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and financially. The biological clock makes
her do a lot of things guys will never realize. As a guy is thoughtlessly stumbling
through his relationship, consumed with
thoughts of the next time he will screw her,
women are thinking, “Does he really love
me? Is this the one? Can he really look after
me and our family? Will he commit?”
Most women believe that guys have to
be guided and prodded into their future. Of
course, this belief is a self-serving one, as a
woman’s real interest is her own future, not
his. Women think that if you let them, guys
will stay in the same position forever, never
committing or seeking to move things in the
direction she wants them to go: that is, the
direction of “the program.” Again, the options thing comes into play. As they get
older, women see their options dwindling.
They know that they only have so many
years to pull off the ultimate coup in their
lives that will give them what they believe
will be total happiness – a husband, a couple of kids, security, and yes, getting on
“the program,” and the legal protection that
comes with all of that to ensure she will
never be back where she started.
Once a woman has convinced herself
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that this is the guy who can do it for her,
she slowly begins to turn the screws. She
begins to subtly pressure him into moving
things along. She wants more out of this
relationship than what she now has. Of
course, she lets him think it’s all for noble
reasons, such as, I love you, I want to be
with you, I want to have your children and
be your wife. She fails to tell him the rest of
the story, which is, I want to get my claws
into you emotionally, financially, and legally.
If a guy resists, which often happens,
she will seek alternative ways of convincing him, making him see the light. Usually,
one of the first tactics is the threat of him
losing her to another guy. She will do
things that will make him think he is about
to lose her. There are other guys out there
who will make her happy, and she’ll find
ways to let you know that. Women are
masters at playing the jealousy card. They
know men’s egos can’t stand the thought of
her being with another guy. The thought of
her sucking another guy’s dick would drive
them nuts, especially when guys are young
and very possessive and insecure. Women
know this and play it to the hilt. This usu-
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ally works enough to get the guy to the next
level, which is some sort of commitment.
That may be a promise, a ring, an engagement, or something along those lines. That
will keep her happy for about three months.
Then the screws start getting tightened
again.
Guys, I’ll tell you this: Never believe
that if you cave to her pressure and give her
that first commitment, that this will buy you
a lot more time; it won’t. No matter how
much they tell you that all they need is to
know you’re committed to them and that
will keep them happy for as long as you
want, it’s not true. It’s another of the great
female cons. Women always look to move
things forward, and what they have gotten
out of you today will not be enough tomorrow. It’s the old “what have you done for
me lately” scenario. Women soon forget the
beautiful ring you bought them and how
you committed to them. Now they want
more. It’s inevitable, and any guy who
doesn’t understand this is a fool.
Oh, and by the way, guys, don’t ever
think you will get that ring back if things
don’t work out. In her mind, it’s hers forever, whether it comes with you or not.
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This is especially true if it’s a diamond and
has value. For some reason, a woman must
wear a diamond, and she must wear it on
her left hand. Here’s another little tidbit you
guys don’t get. Women must show to the
world that they are taken, that someone
loves them. The best way to show this to
the world is to display that diamond on her
left hand. Like a guy flexes his muscles and
shows off his tattoos, women wear their
diamonds like a badge of honor. They’re
not losers. They have someone. It’s what
they’ve been brainwashed to think all their
lives, which is, you’re a loser if you don’t
have someone committed to you.
As things plug along and the pressure of
her tightening the screws starts to get unbearable as you have not yet committed,
she will think about playing the ace card.
Yes, boys, the card you never even thought
she had: the “oops” card. There are not too
many women who have not strategized with
their moms or their close friends about
playing this card when the time is right if
they can’t get a guy to commit. If she is
convinced that you’re the guy for her, that
you have the potential to make her happy
and that you will not leave her no matter
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what, she will employ the “oops” card.
Every woman reading this already
knows where I’m going, but probably only
half the guys do. The “oops” card is when
she consciously and purposely tries to get
impregnated by you and calls it an “accident.” Believe it or not, guys, women will
strategize about this option. If she thinks it
is time and it is what you need to get you
off the fence, and that you will not leave
her high and dry when you find out, she
will definitely have an “oops.” Now I know
that guys know about this, but I don’t think
they realize to what extent it happens. One
of the great female cons is that grown
women get accidentally pregnant. It’s simply not true. Women have more control
over their bodies than guys will ever know.
They can pick and choose when they get
pregnant as long as you’re both virile, and
they will, whether or not you’re on the
same page.
Yes, of course there’s the odd aberration to my theory, and periodically a
woman will get genuinely pregnant by accident, but not nearly as often as guys are
told. To determine if a female has genuinely gotten accidentally pregnant, you
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must look at the circumstances surrounding
her relationship. If she’s been dating a guy
for a while, over twenty-three years of age,
happy with the guy she’s with, looking to
make him her husband, and dissatisfied
with the speed in which he is moving things
forward, then I can tell you that it was not
an accident.
But if you want proof, here’s how you
get it. If it was genuinely an accident, then
accidents can be fixed. If she resists fixing
the accident because she’s suddenly Mother
Theresa and can’t fix it on religious
grounds, it’s not an accident. If she can’t fix
it on moral grounds, it’s not an accident. If
she can’t fix it because she’s afraid of
medical complications, it’s not an accident.
Bottom line is, if she’s claiming it was an
accident and she still wants the baby, it was
not an accident. If for any reason keeping a
child really wasn’t what she wanted and
didn’t work for her, she would have the
problem fixed in a heartbeat, no questions
asked. Putting up any resistance whatsoever
to fixing the problem is proof that it was
planned.
Some women actually get sloppy in
their birth control on purpose so they can
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even convince themselves that it was an
accident. She doesn’t want to live with
knowing the only reason you married her is
because of her getting herself pregnant.
She, too, wants to believe it was an accident. You stepping up once you heard of
this accident is what they want to believe.
That’s how women can be. Not only do
they want “the program” badly, but they
want it on their terms and on circumstances
that make them feel better about it. So, even
putting her on a polygraph machine to determine the truth won’t necessarily get you
the truth, because often they, too, come to
believe it was an accident.
I often joke about my definition of a
woman’s accidental pregnancy. It’s her
landing a potential husband to date, conning
him into buying her an engagement ring,
screwing him silly while conveniently forgetting her pills for a while, raising her legs
in the air like field goal posts after he’s
screwed her and left every night for a week,
monitoring her every bodily function until
she can confirm she’s pregnant, picking up
the phone and calling him, and crying her
eyes out while saying, “I don’t know how it
happened.” That’s my definition of an adult
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female’s accidental pregnancy.
And guess what? Guys don’t have a
clue. I think this is in part because guys
can’t believe that these “innocent, soft,
kind” creatures could ever be so cruelly
calculating. Well, guys, believe it. Don’t
forget, in their minds it’s not cruel and calculating, it’s just giving you the necessary
incentive that you need to get you to do the
right thing. In their minds, this is for you,
too. Oh yes, the great female con, getting
what they want and having it be for you.
They’ve done it all for you. Aren’t they
wonderful, thinking of us so much? Incredible. And guys buy it all day long.
The one female con that bothers me the
most is this “oops” one. This is the most
selfish, cruel, presumptuous, and condescending con of all. There are three things
in life no one should ever be pressured, coerced, or forced into doing. One is having
sex. Women can understand this one because they’re always the ones, at a young
age, who have to decide when the time is
right for her and with whom. She shouldn’t
be pressured, and if she was forced, someone would be going to jail, and rightfully
so.
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The second one is getting married. Everyone should decide on one’s own when the
time is right for them, regardless of the
pressures being put on them by either their
family or mate. This is an extremely critical
decision, more so for the men. Their earning power will usually be determined and
fixed at the time of marriage and he will
usually be stuck there for life. She, on the
other hand, can at any time decide she
needs a “step up,” dumping you for a better
earner. She then moves on, and you’re
stuck where you are. That’s why marriage
is a much bigger commitment for the man
than the woman, and why I say women
have nothing to lose. It also partially explains why women are much more eager to
do it.
The third thing no one should have
forced on them is having children. This is a
huge commitment and obligation that will
follow you for the rest of your life. This
should not be forced on anyone. Could you
imagine the fallout if a man forced a
woman to bear a child, carry it to term, and
then look after it for the rest of her life if
she didn’t want to? Holy shit, the sky would
fall from the protests. Yet women think
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nothing of it when they force that on some
schmoe, legally burdening him for life,
saddling him with this responsibility when
he wasn’t ready or wanting a child. Women
justify it by thinking, Well, he just needed a
nudge; he was ready. How would women
feel if guys were to say the same thing
about determining when she was going to
have sex with him? Just force it on her and
say, “Well, she just needed a nudge; she
was ready.” I can’t even imagine the fallout. This is the one con that proves, more
than any, all the things that I have accused
women of being. The fact that they can, in
good conscience, do something like that to
another human being is proof of all I have
called them in this book.
Here’s the problem from the guy’s perspective when this gets put in his soup. She
has nothing to lose. He has everything to
lose. Unfortunately, a lot of women don’t
even know themselves when they are ready
for children, so how are they then going to
determine the best time for both of them?
Often after she has a child and they get
married prematurely, she becomes unhappy
with her life. Often the financial realities
come to bear on them, as they really
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weren’t ready. The novelty of a family
wears off quickly, and the brutal realities of
a screaming kid and bill collectors hounding them wear thin.
That’s when she decides it’s time to
“step up” – the other option women have
that you don’t. At any time, after she realizes that maybe you weren’t the right one
for her, she will seek a “step up” to another
guy with better prospects for her and your
child. You are still on the hook and will
have to pay her and your child, and she
moves up in the world with her new man,
who makes a lot more money than you ever
will. That’s why you should never get
sucked into this con. You’re the only one
who has everything on the line. She always
has the “bail and step up” option; you don’t.
You could very well be sealing your fate by
falling for this con. There will always be
some other schmoe out there for her to step
up to if things go awry. Bottom line is this:
Regardless of her options or yours, the simple rule is if you are not ready, don’t do it.
If you do not want kids, say so. Tell her,
and end it right there if she refuses to fix
the “accident.”
For you guys who are already married,
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don’t think you’re off the hook. It is not
unusual for a woman to play the “oops”
card even after she is married. She may
want to speed up getting on “the program”
by having children before you agreed to,
and “oops.” Or she may already have children. If she has raised a couple and they are
both in school, you may expect her to go
back to work. But if she really would rather
be at home with another child, then, “Oops,
I don’t know how it happened,” and lo and
behold, you’re having another child you
really didn’t want. She’s at home again not
working and doing what she would rather
do. You’re now deeper in debt and busting
your ass even more to try to support everyone. The “oops” card is played by both
married and single women, depending on
what it is they’re trying to achieve.
Interestingly enough, women will often
go back to work part-time when the kids are
small, not because they’re being noble and
trying to contribute, but because they need
a break from the children when kids are the
most difficult to be with 24/7. Once the kids
are in school, they will look to quit work
completely. It’s all about women and what
they want. Of course, they’ll never admit it
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or let you think that. They will find a way
to justify doing whatever it is they want to
do and make you think it is really for you.
It could also be that she is aging, not
totally accepting the fact that she will soon
be unable to have any more children. She
may need that last chance at motherhood,
further keeping her secure in your heart and
wallet. Who knows what the reason is, but
there will be a reason that centers on her
selfish needs and desire to maintain her position in the relationship. It really is all
about what she thinks she needs.
There are many factors at play that
make women want to have children. It’s
undeniable that some of the desire comes
from natural genetics and instinctual urges,
wants, and needs. Women would like you
to believe that it’s all about that. Guess
what, guys, it’s not. With the advent of
modern laws, women more and more are
doing it for selfish reasons. Once she has
had your child, you are indebted to her almost for life. She will have a much better
chance of landing you and getting you
down the aisle. However, even if that
doesn’t work, she will see this as a vehicle
to get her claws into you, not only emotion-
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131
ally, but more importantly, financially. You
cannot even argue the support issue for the
child; that’s automatic. And don’t think it’s
just a couple of hundred dollars a month.
It’s based on your ability to pay. In other
words, if you’re a big earner, you will pay a
lot more than if you are not. The more you
earn, the bigger a target you are. Women
know you will pay a lot more to them if
you’re a big earner.
Oh, and don’t think for a minute that
you can dictate in any way how your
money is spent on the child; that’s completely up to her. If she chooses to go get
her hair and nails done instead of spending
more on better food for the child, that’s the
way it will go. Don’t think that doesn’t
happen more times than not, because it
does. It isn’t unheard of for a woman to get
upwards of $2,000 per month for support
from a good earner. If she were to have
three children from three different good
earners, she’s looking at $6,000 per month.
That’s not a bad living for someone sitting
at home and watching Oprah all day while
the kids are at school. Of course, her initial
motive is to land you. However, as with
getting married, women have nothing to
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lose. If they don’t land you by having your
child, they’ll just settle for the support. Either way, it’s a no-lose situation for them.
The biggest motivator for a woman to
have children is the thought that there will
be a deeper connection between you and
her now that you’ve created a human being
together. That will most certainly place her
deeper in your heart and life. How many
couples have been together many years, and
you know the main reason the guy stays is
because of the children? It happens a lot.
Women know this and exploit it. To some
degree, the children become her shield,
protecting her against being dumped. If she
goes, the children go. It’s a good incentive
to keep her around.
By the way, unlike men, women will
not stick around for the children. They are
much more self-centered than that. If they
become unhappy and meet someone else,
they will leave no matter what. She knows
she will take the children anyway, so she
doesn’t have to sacrifice that part of her life
to leave. She will not waste any time staying with someone she doesn’t really want to
be with.
Men, on the other hand, will make the
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133
sacrifice and stay because they know that
their relationship with their children will be
destroyed if they leave. Not only that, but
men know how much they’ll likely get
screwed in the divorce. Another huge advantage for the women. As a result, men,
more so than women, get stuck in a relationship that they would rather not be in,
but can’t do anything about it. This is another reason getting married is a much bigger commitment for men. Guys, you’d better know this going in, because once you’re
in, it’s too late.
I can now tell you another one of my
theories. If a woman leaves you, there is
someone else. If you are not physically
abusing her and she leaves or is seriously
talking about splitting up, there must be
someone else. Women are creatures of options. They will not leave one guy until they
know they have another one lined up. They
will not go from being with someone to
being alone. Not even for a year. They will
know what they have to go to before they
make the move from the first relationship.
The only exception to this theory is if she is
being abused physically, or if she is concerned about potential physical abuse to-
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ward her or her children; otherwise, this
rule likely applies. Another one of the great
female cons is letting you think that she
needs space and alone time from you. It
simply is not true. If she didn’t have someone waiting, she would stay in her old relationship until she found someone else. So
the litmus test is simple. Generally speaking, if she genuinely wants out, there’s
someone else who has committed to her.
My advice to all guys is simple. Instead
of trying to figure out if you should commit
or if you should have an unexpected child,
do this. If you are not ready for either, don’t
do it. You will know if and when you are
ready. Don’t let society, or anyone else, for
that matter, try to tell you that you need a
push, or that no man really wants to, or that
you will never really be ready, so you may
as well commit now. That’s not true at all.
You will know when you are ready. Rely
on your instincts. Realize that marriage and
having children is a much bigger commitment for you than it is for her. Understand
your limited options versus her endless options. Know that where you are in life at the
time of your commitment is probably where
you’ll be for the rest of your life.
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135
Lastly, under no circumstances do you
ever get married or live with someone
without a comprehensive, protective, prenuptial agreement. No exceptions. I will
explain in detail in my Prenup chapter the
importance of this and how it will not only
protect you, but will most likely protect
your relationship.
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137
CHAPTER NINE
How Women Lie To Themselves
A
s I’ve said before, when the chips are
down, a person’s true colors come out.
Women are no different. When a woman’s
marriage has crumbled, and she seeks to
leave for another man or get revenge on her
old spouse, her true colors come out. These
true colors include her true selfish desire to
get what she wants for herself, regardless of
the impact on everyone else. This includes
her children. If she has decided that any ongoing involvement with the old spouse in
the lives of her and her new man will adversely affect her relationship with the new
guy, she will do anything to eliminate the
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old spouse from her life. Of course, when
two people have kids, there is going to be
an ongoing relationship between her, the
father, and the kids, even after she is with
the next guy. She may see this ongoing
contact as a threat to her new relationship.
If she does, she will seek ways to eliminate
the father of her children from her life.
Now, of course everyone knows that it
is in the best interests of the children to
have ongoing relationships with both of
their biological parents. Women can’t deny
that. So how does a woman eliminate the
father and justify it as being the best thing
for the kids? Simple, she creates concerns
about the father’s stability. She may decide
that maybe he was abusing the kids in some
way, that he is a threat to them. This will
put the focus on her concern for her kids
instead of her true goal, which is to eliminate him from her life so he doesn’t affect
her new relationship.
Women can’t deal with their own selfishness, so they convince themselves of
things when it is convenient to do so. No
one would argue that if a woman seeks to
keep her kids’ father from them, she’s being cruel and selfish. She can’t deal with
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her kids, her family, and her friends seeing
this selfishness on her part. So what she
does is create a legitimate concern, and this
will justify what it is she really wants for
herself anyway – that is, the father out of
her and her kids’ lives forever. She really
isn’t concerned about the kids; she’s concerned about herself and her new man. She
will sacrifice all not to risk that relationship. This may include dragging her kids
into a messy situation where they are
tugged in two directions because of the dispute she has created.
Fortunately, most women will not play
this psychotic game with themselves. Most
will see that it truly is best for the kids to
maintain a healthy relationship with both
parents. Most will deal with the ongoing
involvement of the father of her kids, despite the risk it creates for her new relationship. Unfortunately, many others will play
this game in order to protect themselves and
their relationship with their new men. These
women will actually come to believe whatever evils they have imagined about the father. These women are true selfish hypocrites who can’t deal with their own hypocrisy and selfishness. That’s why a woman
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comes to believe the lies she has created
about her old spouse, the father of her children. They can’t deal with looking at themselves in the mirror and seeing what they
have truly done and why. They themselves
want to believe they’re really doing it for
the good of the children. Women are great
at this: getting what they want and making
everyone, including themselves, believe it’s
for everyone else. Another of the great female cons.
This action on her part may be for other
reasons, as well. If she is bitter about the
relationship split-up, she simply may be
doing it to punish her old spouse. Make him
pay for ruining her life. You see, women
who can lie to themselves in this way will
never take any responsibility for the splitup. It will always be entirely his fault. In
convincing herself of that, she may seek to
even the score and retaliate. She will do this
with no regard for the effect it will have on
the kids. Again, in her mind, it will be for
their benefit. She will employ all the things
I’ve talked about in this chapter, simply to
get even with her old spouse. This proves
the true selfishness of some females. There
can be no justification for doing this, yet
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many do it all the time.
When this happens, it’s usually a result
of the female refusing to accept any of the
responsibility for the split-up. Ironically,
when a woman can get herself in this selfrighteous mode, it’s likely more her fault
than his for the split-up in the first place.
That’s the ironic part of all of this. The
more responsible she is, the more she will
try and retaliate and refuse to take any responsibility for it. Another of the great female cons.
Of course, there are situations where
there is a genuine concern about the father.
However, you’d be surprised how often
these concerns and claims from mothers are
more about what I have described above,
instead of about legitimate problems with
the father. The problem with these false
claims is that they take away from the legitimate ones. It’s no different from false
rape claims. The real victims of any false
claim are those with legitimate claims.
They are the ones who will suffer, making
it harder for them to be looked at seriously.
They will be scrutinized more than necessary, only because of the known false
claims that many women have made in the
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past. That’s why I don’t understand why
there is such sympathy for women who
make false claims. The people who should
be the most outraged are other women.
They will be the ones who will suffer the
most from these false claims, making it
more difficult to come forward with a legitimate claim because of her psychotic
sisters who have made false claims for their
own selfish purposes. False claims, when
found out, should be treated as seriously as
the claim itself. Then maybe this cruel propensity of some women can be curtailed.
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CHAPTER TEN
The Prenup and Why You Insist
A
fter reading the first nine chapters, you
may start to get the idea that there is a
lot more at play in the minds of females
when it comes to relationships and marriage
than you may have thought. Much of what
I’ve said you may find unbelievable. I have
spoken at length with many women I trust
and who also trust me. Many have interacted with me in several different capacities. Although many females don’t like to
admit it, they do acknowledge that what I
speak of is true. They do acknowledge that
the quality of men available is not what it
was. They strongly agree that women are
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much more calculating today than they
were in the past. Honest women are their
own worst critics, and they do see their own
ways as being somewhat less than admirable.
Men and women have changed over the
last several decades. Things are much different than they were. You must adapt to
the current environment. Years ago, you
would not even think about sitting down
with a lawyer before getting married. The
only thing you had to worry about was if
you truly loved each other, and if it would
last forever. Never did you think about options, lowered tolerance, security, divorce,
financial ruin, the program, the “oops,” the
step up, and all of the other things that today come into play. If you are not going to
be taken advantage of, you must look at
things realistically. Idealism will do nothing
but get you in a heap of shit and possibly
destroy your life.
If you look at any major financial decision you will make in your life, it’s hard to
imagine that you would do it without consulting an expert or lawyer. Imagine buying
a house and closing the deal without doing
a search of the title or having a qualified
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lawyer handle the transaction. Imagine just
giving the owner a check for the full asking
price. He hands you the keys, and it’s a
done deal. It will be fine; the owner told
you everything would be okay. Good luck.
Although you may think that getting married is different, legally it’s not. Marriage is
a legal commitment where you’re agreeing
to sell 50% of you for 50% of her. Sure,
there are complicated conditions to this, and
certain general time constraints that have
been set by precedent in different states, but
generally speaking, when you marry, the
two of you become one. Anything you have
is hers, and anything she has is yours. There
is no bigger legal commitment you will
make in your life. Nothing else you do will
automatically give anyone else that much of
a stake in your life.
You are also agreeing to share your
combined total income with each other.
Think about that for a minute. If you have
hundreds of thousands of dollars invested in
real estate, for example, and she has a pile
of Visa bills, half of her Visa bills are now
yours, and half of your income from the
years of sweating and sacrificing to get it is
hers. Where else in life do you instantly get
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the benefit of someone else’s income and
net worth and the income that is generated
from its various investments?
This would be like buying one thousand
shares of IBM and then legally having the
right to half their profits from then on. In
the real corporate world, things are not so
idealistically easy. You get a return based
on your investment. If you have invested
5% of the total invested, you would get 5%
of the pot. The others who have the other
90% invested would get 90% interest. The
family laws of the land in today’s femalefavoring environment have made it absolutely necessary to further define the financial relationship between yourself and your
wife; otherwise, you will be at the mercy of
some liberal judge who will interpret the
law the way it is currently written. That will
get you absolutely screwed over.
Another of my theories is: Never enter
an arena in which you cannot win. That
theory holds true for everything in life. If
the cards are stacked against you, don’t go
there. If you’re looking at an investment
and you’re not in absolute control and don’t
know everything about it, don’t do it. The
world of marriage without a prenup for a
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hard-working man is an arena in which you
cannot win. Don’t go there until the rules
are such that it is fair and you can win. You
can only make those rules fair in the prenup.
There are two different, important perspectives you have to look at when deciding
that you should insist on a prenup. There
are the financial ramifications, and there are
the psychological ramifications. I will talk
about both. Let’s first delve into the financial side of it. Let me give you an example
of how someone can totally get the short
end of the stick, not only for himself, but
also for his family. Let’s say you’re a 35year-old male with two kids from a previous marriage who live with you. Let’s say
you make about $70,000 a year and have a
net worth of approximately $300,000. You
also have some pension benefits built up
and are entitled to some benefits once
you’re retired. You meet and marry a
woman who has an average job that just
gets her by. She has no real net worth and is
basically living from paycheck to paycheck.
You don’t bother to get any kind of agreement with her, as you trust her and don’t
think you need one. You get hit by a bus
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and are killed after five years of marriage.
Guess what? All your property, money,
and any pension benefits are hers, totally.
Your kids are not entitled to anything. If
she then gets remarried to a guy without a
prenup, he now has a claim to half of her
total net worth, which was yours. If she
dies, he now is the proud, legally entitled
owner of what was once your total net
worth. What do you think the chances are
of him looking after your kids once they’re
twenty-one? Slim to none, and slim just left
town. Here’s the guy who was screwing
your wife for a few years, walking away
with the sweat and blood that you acquired
for yourself and your family. Your kids
now get nothing and watch some guy they
barely know get the benefit of their inheritance. I have seen this scenario play out,
and believe me, it’s not pretty.
Let me give you another example.
You’re the same guy as the first example,
except instead of you being killed, you discover your wife has been having an affair
with someone. You decide you want a divorce, as you can’t live with someone who
has cheated on you. She will probably get
half of your net worth and some sort of
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“maintenance” for a period of time until she
gets back on her feet. You see, she will
claim that prior to your marrying her, she
had a job and was self-sufficient, but since
her marriage to you, she no longer is employed because she’s been sitting on her ass
for five years screwing around. She is no
longer able to look after herself financially
because of the marriage to you. This entitles her to be “maintained” by you for a period of time. The law does not recognize
fault.
Generally, who did what to whom is irrelevant. It’s called “no fault” divorce. Financial matters are predetermined based on
spousal rights, and these rights are not relinquished due to behavior. Regardless of
what she’s done, she’s entitled. She walks
away with half your money and monthly
payments so she can run away with her new
boyfriend on your nickel. You and your
kids have just lost half of their inheritance
thanks to your not insisting on a prenup.
The reality is that, regardless of what her
contribution has been, she will be entitled
to her half of the family pot. Since you
agreed to marry her and sell her half of you
for half of her, that’s the way it is looked at
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by the law at the time of separation. She
may have had a negative net worth when
you married; she could have not worked a
day during marriage; she could have run up
your Visa bills during marriage; she could
have spent thousands of dollars on clothing
and jewelry; and she could have been
screwing all your friends throughout the
marriage. None of that is relevant. She will
be entitled to half, because that’s what you
agreed to, whether you realized it or not.
Ironically, she probably would never
have started screwing around on you and
risking her meal ticket if you had a prenup,
which would put her back to where she
started if the marriage failed. One of the
basic rules of business is that you never get
involved with a partner unless they have at
least as much to lose as you. Hooking up
with someone who has more than you is a
very attractive scenario. Chances are, you
will benefit in some way from their larger
resource of wealth. This holds true in marriage. Since marriage is the ultimate partnership, that rule is even more important.
Women understand that more than you
think. They usually are struggling through
life or looking to get to a higher level and
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looking for someone whose coattails they
can latch onto to propel them into that better life. Now, of course there are women
who are successful and make good money
and are capable of looking after themselves.
However, the vast majority of women are
not in that position, and even the ones who
are in that position are looking to get higher
than where they can get themselves.
Actually, what I speak of throughout
much of this book is not so much for men,
but for whoever has more at risk in any relationship. That could very well be the
woman. A well-prepared prenup will define
who is entitled to what and under what circumstances. It is critical in order to fairly
set out each of your investments in the marriage. If you have 80% going in, you should
get 80% going out. It’s as simple as that. Of
course, the person with 5% going in would
love 50% going out, and without a prenup,
that’s what they will get.
I said there are two factors at play when
contemplating a prenup. The financial ramifications are clear. However, the psychological ones are not. For all of you who
think the psychological implications are not
important, read on. I have an older friend
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who is very successful. His wife was tragically killed in an accident. He was devastated. His wife was his soul mate at the
time. They were inseparable. They truly
loved and respected each other. Since he
had been with his wife for many years, he
never concerned himself with the ways of
the world around him and how they were
changing. He had no clue as to the changing
ways of both men and women and how
much more calculating both had become.
The world he once knew had disappeared
without him even noticing. He had no need
to notice, as he had been completely happy
with his wife. After his wife’s death, he
went into seclusion for almost two years.
When he finally started getting out a little
bit, he started seeing a couple of women.
None really sparked his interest.
Finally, he met one who truly piqued
his interest. She was not like the rest. She
seemed much more genuine. The fact that
he was then in his late sixties and she was
in her early thirties didn’t bother him, as his
previous wife had also been twenty-three
years his junior. They dated for a couple of
years, and finally, being a relatively oldschool guy, he decided they should marry.
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His net worth was eight digits, his annual
income usually seven digits. She, on the
other hand, had three menial jobs when
they met. Negligible net worth and income.
Not to mention once they got serious, she
moved in with him and quit all her jobs.
She was looking after his personal affairs at
home.
He and I were out one night when he
broke it to me that he wished to marry her. I
was happy for both of them. They seemed
very happy together. Although they clashed
from time to time, they did seem right for
each other. He had no idea about the way
the laws of the land had changed and how
easy it is to completely ruin your life by
going through a bad divorce with a wife
who had nothing invested and nothing to
lose by fighting for her share of your
money. I talked at length with him about
how I felt he should be consulting his legal
team about this very serious commitment
he was about to make. I couldn’t believe he
was not even considering talking to his
lawyers. He was going to just get married,
no questions asked, no prenup whatsoever.
After debating this issue with him for a
few weeks, I finally got to him. How I got
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to him had nothing to do with the money.
Prior to my last-ditch pitch in favor of a
prenup, he had concluded that even if they
got a divorce, he could easily afford it. He
believed that his financial stature was so
strong that he could handle writing a check
for a large amount of money if he had to.
What I told him as my last pitch made him
change his mind. I said, “Maybe you can
afford to get a divorce financially, but can
you afford having her dump you for a much
younger guy after two years and have the
two of them live happily ever after on your
nickel, while you look like the old fool?”
After going over my theories about options, security, and tolerance, I made him
understand that there would be much more
at play after they got married. Regardless of
her present intentions, she would be swayed
in her demeanor by her options and level of
security. Her tolerance would be raised or
lowered based on her options. If they wed
without a prenup, she would know that if
the marriage failed, she would be handsomely looked after for the rest of her life.
What incentive would she have to tolerate
him, especially since it was no secret to
everyone that he was high-maintenance and
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somewhat hard to live with? His expectations of her were high. How long would she
tolerate jumping through all his hoops when
she knew that by leaving him, she would
still have the lifestyle without his crap to go
along with it?
On the other hand, if they signed a prenup, her incentive to stay would be clear.
She was living a life she had only heard of
or seen on TV. She was driving a Porsche,
living in a multimillion-dollar home on the
lake, traveling all winter Cat skiing and
Heli skiing, and cruising the world. If they
divorced with a prenup, she would have no
chance of continuing with this lifestyle. She
also would likely have to go back to work
and move back into a townhouse. Not a
very nice prospect after living the life she
had become accustomed to.
Now if anyone thinks that those two different scenarios would not affect the way
she dealt with him, how she treated him,
and how high her tolerance would be, I can
tell you that you are a fool. It absolutely
would affect her demeanor and her tolerance of him. With the prenup, she now has
to make the marriage work because she has
the most to lose if it doesn’t. Without a pre-
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nup, it wouldn’t matter. If it worked, fine; if
not, even better. Again, we’re back to the
whole options thing. With a prenup, you
have limited her options, thereby raising her
tolerance. She will be more honest with you
and put forth a more genuine effort to make
things work. She won’t make mountains out
of molehills.
I can tell you that my friend is still married to this day some twelve years later. His
bride has gone through many periods during the marriage when she really wondered
if it was all worth it. He was very difficult
to live with, and his demands of her were
high. There is no doubt in my mind that had
he not insisted on the prenup, she would
have left at some point earlier on. As it
turns out, they are now very happily married, and she has no intention of leaving
since the terms of the prenup would give
her almost what she would have gotten
from day one without it. Now the money is
no issue. She is genuinely happy for all the
right reasons. They would have never gotten to that point without the prenup. Ironically, what she saw as her nemesis – the
prenup – is what facilitated her lifelong
dream of happiness forever.
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There’s one thing I always hear when
talking to women about their hiring a lawyer and getting nasty after a divorce. Most
will say, “I’m not like that; I would never
go for the jugular if we divorced.” If you
are told that by your woman and believe it,
you’re a jackass. Every woman says that
if divorced, she would not go for the
jugular, and every woman, once divorced, does. So you do the math. Even if
she truly believes that she would never go
for the jugular, once a split-up actually
happens and she walks into a lawyer’s office, her lawyer will not allow her to walk
away from anything that he believes she’s
entitled to. It then becomes her lawyer’s
fault, not hers, for going after your throat.
The other thing women will tell themselves is that they never go after your
money. First she convinces herself that it’s
her money, and then she goes after what’s
hers. She’s legally entitled to it. She’s not
screwing you; she’s just seeking what the
law says she’s entitled to. Another great
female con. And they will go to their deaths
believing that they were noble in their efforts to get their money. If you resist and
defend, she will advise everyone within
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earshot, including your children, that you’re
a deadbeat trying to deprive her of what’s
legally hers.
Most women will get insulted when you
suggest a prenup. They will say that it’s so
unromantic, that you’re planning to fail
even before you start. Don’t fall for it. If
she suggests that you are planning for your
relationship to fail, ask her if she has car
insurance. When she says yes, ask her if she
is planning to get into a car accident. Ask
her if she would want you to have life insurance so if you died she would be looked
after. When she says yes, ask her if she’s
planning for you to die. Nobody wants or
plans to die, yet everyone has a will. Bottom line is this: A prenup is nothing more
than covering your bases. It’s not planning
to fail. If anything, it will give your relationship a much better chance of success.
Both parties will be much more honest with
their efforts to make it succeed. When a
woman gets insulted about a prenup, she’s
not getting hurt by your apparent lack of
faith in your relationship; she’s upset about
you removing the extra protection she
seeks.
Remember earlier in the book when I
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spoke of “the program” and all the different
things women seek when they marry? A
prenup limits some of that. They will no
longer be able to lower their tolerance,
work less at keeping you, gain a little
weight, screw you less, etc. All these things
they seek to do after marriage, they likely
won’t be able to with a prenup, because
they won’t have the same level of protection if you dump them over it. That’s the
real reason any woman creates a scene and
gets upset when you suggest a prenup. I can
tell you this, that same woman who is totally insulted about you wanting a prenup
would absolutely insist on you signing one
if she was the one with all the assets and
income and you had none.
So don’t fall for it. Recognize that marriage is the biggest financial and emotional
decision you will make for the rest of your
life, and it should not be entered into nonchalantly. Also, recognize that it’s a much
bigger commitment for you than her, for the
reasons I described earlier in the book.
When people like Donald Trump publicly
pronounce their belief that no one should
ever marry without a prenup, you have to
take heed. Although Trump may speak of
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the money end of it, what he also likely
knows but won’t admit is that it is necessary to limit the options of his spouse,
which will keep her wanting and needing
him and not dumping him, making him
look like a fool. I believe if Trump is as
smart as I think he is, he knows this part of
it.
Next to the “oops” con, women conning
men into getting married without a prenup
is probably the biggest con of all. They will
cry, get upset, express their displeasure
with you, and whatever else they have to do
to sway you into believing that you
shouldn’t insist on a prenup. They will
make you feel that you are a bad, cold person for even suggesting it. Don’t forget, this
is her chance at getting through the rest of
her life on her terms versus yours, and she
knows it. If she cons you into abandoning
your requirement of a prenup, she will rule
for the rest of her life. If you insist, chances
are she will be at your beckoning call and
you will rule. Therefore, this is a very important play on her part, and she knows it
more than you do. As cruel and cynical as
this may sound, it’s true. Although there
will be many more complex factors that
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will come into play in your marriage, the
underlying tone will be set one way or the
other based on what I’ve said. Even if you
don’t think you need a prenup for the
money, you need one to keep her honest
and keep her tolerance where it was the day
you married her. Don’t allow her to talk
you out of it; the quality of the balance of
your entire life depends on it.
Bottom line is this: Never, never, never
just get married or live with someone without some sort of legal agreement. Don’t fall
for the “I’m insulted” act, and if they
threaten to leave you as a result of your
demand, let her go and look at it as a
blessing. You have probably dodged a bullet. As much as a woman will cry and accuse you of being a monster for even suggesting such a barbaric agreement, don’t
fall for it. Remember that it’s one of the
great female cons that you must avoid at all
costs. Better to take a little heat early on
than a lot of heat for the rest of your life.
And believe me, whether your marriage
lasts or not, you will be dealing with her
heat for the rest of your life without a prenup. Remember that if the shoe were on the
other foot, there would be no debating the
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issue. She would simply tell you that her
lawyer requires it and she can’t get married
without an agreement. You should take the
same position. Play their game. Blame the
lawyer if you have to, blame your best
friend if you have to, do whatever you have
to, but never, never, never walk down that
aisle without protection.
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CHAPTER ELEVEN
The Priority Lists
O
ne of the main reasons men and
women sometimes have a difficult
time reading each other is that they don’t
properly assess where the other is coming
from. Not knowing where each person is
coming from is, to a large degree, a result
of a lack of empathy for the other. Every
man and woman has priorities. Different
things are important to them in their lives.
Their reaction to something will depend on
where that thing is on their priority list. If
someone does something that negatively
affects one of their lesser priorities, they
will likely not react as adversely to it. If,
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however, something is done that affects
their more important priorities, they will
certainly have a stronger reaction to it. The
problem many people have is not realizing
that you can’t compare how you would react to something, to how another will react
to the same thing.
Let’s take a typical married couple.
Let’s say, for example, that sex is high on
the husband’s list of priorities. At the same
time, sex is low on the list for the wife. She
goes to bed and nicely rolls over, saying
she’s had a long day and is tired and would
rather not have sex that night. She knows
that they haven’t had sex for several nights
and that he has been bugging her almost
every night. In her mind it’s not a big deal,
because to her, it isn’t. What she likely
doesn’t realize is that to him, it is a big
deal. She looks at it from her perspective,
and since sex is not a big priority, she
doesn’t know what the big deal is to wait a
few nights before you do it. He, on the
other hand, sees sex as very important. He
probably thought about it all day at work,
looking forward to getting home and in bed
so he could ravish his wife. Sex is very important to him, and he thinks about it often.
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His testosterone makes his body want to do
it, and often. This is what puts him in a
good mood. It makes him happy when it
happens. She, on the other hand, sees it as
nice and good for the relationship, as it is
intimate, but doesn’t see the big deal in
waiting a few nights until she’s really into
it. He gets frustrated and mad. She can’t
understand why. What’s the big deal?
“We’ll do it tomorrow night.”
Well, let me tell you the problem in
how she has assessed this whole thing. She
is strictly looking at it from her perspective.
She knows it’s not a big deal to her, so she
assumes it shouldn’t be to him, either. She
has failed to assess from the perspective of
priority versus specifics. She is comparing
sex to her versus sex to him. What she
should have done, knowing that sex is high
on his list of priorities, is consider how she
would have felt had he refused her something that’s high on her own priority list.
For example, if intimacy was at the top of
her list, she should have compared it this
way: Her refusing him sex would be comparable to his refusing to cuddle with her
when she wants to. That would probably
upset her the same way the sex refusal up-
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set him. He could say, “What’s the big deal
with cuddling? We’ll do it tomorrow.” He
can’t see the big deal, because to him, it’s
not. This is the mistake people make. In
order to compare apples to apples, you
can’t compare specific things. You must
compare based on order of priority on each
other’s lists.
Here’s another of my theories, the priority-list theory. If you were to ask a
woman to list her priorities for what she
seeks from her man, in order of importance
from one to ten, with one being most important and ten being the least, the typical
female’s list would look like this:
1) Love, intimacy
2) Security, both financially and emotionally
3) Faithful. Capable and willing to be a
good father
4) Ambitious
5) Sense of humor
6) Caring, sensitive, strong individual
who generally makes her happy
7) Good in bed
8) Great body
9) Hot, sensual, and good-looking
10) Having lots of hot, passionate sex
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Now, if you were to take this list and
flip it upside down, you now have the typical list of priorities of most men. Simply
read that list from bottom to top, and that’s
a man’s list of priorities. As funny as it may
sound, that’s how dramatic the difference is
between the priorities of men and women.
Men seek the more physical things, whereas
women seek the more emotional and pragmatic ones.
I’m not suggesting that sex is not a priority at all to women and love is not a priority to men; I’m just saying that their importance in relation to the others is totally
different between men and women. That’s
why, in order to figure out how someone
will react, you must not compare how you
would react to that same thing. You first
have to take something that is comparable
on your list of priorities. As a woman, you
can’t compare a sex issue to him with a sex
issue with you. You must compare a sex
issue with him with an intimacy issue with
you. Now you can better predict how he
will react. As a guy, you can’t compare
your not talking and listening to your
woman with her not talking and listening to
you. You must compare your not talking
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and listening to her with her not having sex
with you. Now you have truly compared
apples with apples and will likely get a
similar response. As I said earlier in the
book, the differences between men and
women are not as great as you think. Most
of the differing reactions are based on their
different priorities. Their respective reactions to things are a lot more similar once
you’ve compared those priorities properly.
Empathizing with each other is extremely important in any relationship, yet
few people are capable of doing it very
well. We often fall back and think, “What
would I do in that case?” That is a mistake.
You have to constantly adjust how you
compare things to do it more fairly. Not
with specifics. You must always think of
comparison based on how important a particular issue is to the other person, versus
how important something else is to you.
Once you have mastered proper comparisons, you are much better able to predict the
other person’s reaction to anything.
As guys, we usually get the short end of
the stick in all of this. Women’s priorities
seem more legitimate, so they tend to be
taken more seriously. Men must make their
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women understand that, as insignificant as
men’s priorities may seem when compared
to hers, they are just as important to you.
Make them understand the comparison
theory. Once you explain it that way, they
will likely understand it better. Hopefully
they will do the proper comparison themselves so they can better understand how
you feel after they do certain things to you.
If your wife is not a golfer, but you are, and
if you were to buy your wife a new set of
golf clubs for her birthday, I think she
would understand the importance of empathizing based on a list of priorities versus
specifics.
The priorities theory brings up another
related theory, which is the finger-pointing
theory. People generally empathize much
better in regard to things they understand.
How they feel about something is how they
suspect someone else feels. I always tell my
business managers to be leery of an employee who is suspicious of everyone
stealing from them. Quite often, when
someone points a finger at someone else,
they have three pointed right back at themselves. Point at something; you’ll see what I
mean.
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The ironic thing is, as with your fingers,
people in general suspect and accuse others
based on their own tendencies. That’s why
a cheating wife will be constantly accusing
her husband of having an affair. She knows
what she’s doing, so she’s the first to accuse him. She empathizes more with that
mindset because that’s what hers is. To a
large degree, that is why people have a difficult time relating to others. They look at
their own mindsets and assume that others
think the same way. Of course, nothing
could be further from the truth. As easy as
it is to assume everyone will react to
something the same way you will, it’s not a
very good way of gauging how others will
react.
If someone stole your golf clubs out of
the trunk of your car, you would be furious.
You’d be surprised how calmly your mate
will react to that. Yet have someone steal
her makeup case, and see the reaction.
Yours would be relatively calm. Your golf
clubs are important to you and not so important to her. Her makeup case is important to her, but not so important to you. But
if you compare your clubs to her makeup,
you’ve now made a proper comparison.
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If you make a silly joking comment to
her about the way she looks, she may cry
for hours, and you’re thinking what you
said was no big deal. Had she said that very
comment to you, it wouldn’t have any effect on you at all. Yet there she is, crying
her eyes out. That’s the key: understanding
the importance of things to others, regardless of how important that very thing is to
you. That’s what most people can’t or
won’t do. That’s one of the most important
traits you need to develop. It will get you
much closer to accurately predicting how
someone will react.
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CHAPTER TWELVE
Mistakes Women and Men
Make With Each Other
A
s much as women are the smarter sex,
this only holds true when they are
thinking straight and not under pressure.
When they are young, hot, and have lots of
time, they play their cards differently. As
they get older and the biological clock starts
getting louder, their judgment suffers. Like
anyone, once you start wanting something
too badly, you make poor decisions. You
tend to rush things and become more impatient, letting the other person sense your
hunger for whatever it is you seek. You become desperate. That will put you at a disadvantage and handicap your ability to
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judge. In my real-estate ventures, whenever
I’ve purchased or sold anything, I’ve done
it from a position of strength, not weakness.
Always having an option, and not needing
it badly, is the key. If you don’t have to
have something because you have an option, it means you will be coming from a
position of strength. You will not get taken
advantage of in the transaction.
Relationships are no different. As
women get older, they tend to turn up the
screws of a relationship faster. They see
their options dwindling, as they are not yet
where they want to be in life, which is on
“the program.” The woman starts to pressure the man she sees as the one who will
get her on “the program.” That quite often
leads to problems in the relationship, as
most guys don’t like being pressured into
taking the next step before they are ready
themselves.
Almost anywhere you go, when you
meet new people, the first question out of
any single women’s mouth is, “Hi, how are
you? So what do you do?” Now, I know
that to some degree they may be trying to
start up a conversation, but what that really
means most of the time is, “I don’t have
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time to waste, so I need to know if you’re a
good earner before I waste any time talking
to you.” It’s like women have become so
desperate that they need to know right away
what the deal is with you. From their perspective, if you’re a garbage man, why
waste any time talking to you? The problem
with this attitude is that guys aren’t totally
stupid. They can see what the motive is behind the quick, forward questions. It would
be like the guy asking her right away, “Hi,
how are you? So do you swallow?”
Every woman would cringe if that
question were put to her at first blush.
Ironically, most guys cringe about the brash
female question, as well. Women just don’t
see it as intrusive and calculating as it really
is. Again, we return to the comparison theory. She doesn’t think such a question is a
turnoff, because that same question
wouldn’t be a turnoff for her. She has failed
to compare based on my comparison theory. When a woman asks that question, any
reasonably smart guy knows exactly where
she’s coming from, and what her intentions
are going to be. That is a huge turnoff. It’s
pressure before anything even begins between the two of you. As a woman, how
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would you look at a guy if he let you know
right away that all he wanted was some action? You’ve done the same thing to him,
you just don’t realize it.
Women create their own worst fears by
being overly impatient about where something is going. Instead of going with the
flow and allowing things to develop at their
own normal pace, they try to accelerate
them. That attempted acceleration usually
ruins whatever it is they had going up until
then. Women become the authors of their
own misfortune. If a woman truly wants to
be on “the program,” she can’t need it. If
you need it, your chances of getting it are
much less. Women must first be selfsufficient and be able to offer something
going into a relationship. Then it will
probably fall in her lap. It’s what people in
business always say about banks. They only
seem to approve you for a loan when you
really don’t need the money. That is true.
Walk into a bank and say, “I really need the
money, and I’m in a big hurry for it. I’ll be
in trouble if I don’t get it. I don’t have any
collateral or a business plan to show you I
will succeed or how I will pay you back.”
Good luck in getting the loan.
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The person who will obtain the loan is
the one who has collateral and a business
plan. They are not in a rush for it and have
something to offer the bank to make it
worthwhile for the bank to approve the
loan. Guess what, they will probably get it.
Life is not much different. Women who are
desperate will not get what they want. If
you instantly let the guy know that what
you really need is a meal ticket, chances are
he will not respond the way you want him
to. Getting right to the nitty-gritty when you
meet him, or trying to pressure him to
commit prematurely, will let him know
that. And faking it won’t work, either. You
can’t just pretend to not want it. You must
genuinely not need it. Then it will happen
all day long.
I have a good friend who comes across
as unassuming. He dresses normally and
doesn’t wear any flashy jewelry. He is single and looking for a long-term relationship. He also happens to be a plastic surgeon who makes an incredible amount of
money. He doesn’t want to date any of the
people in his inner circle, because he knows
they all know what he does and he feels that
the money may be more what they’re inter-
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ested in than him. So he goes out where no
one knows him, looking for someone
genuinely interested in him. The stories he
tells are hilarious. Women will ask him,
“So, what do you do?” almost immediately.
He always responds that he has a good
steady job with a large company as a bookkeeper. He makes it sound like he makes an
average amount of money and likely will be
at that level for some time. He tells me he
can’t keep any women talking to him for
more than five minutes. That’s not good
enough for them. They want the big earners
who will be able to propel them into the life
they always dreamed of. It is so obvious
what they’re really after.
Ironically, the very same women who
snubbed him as a bookkeeper come back
and won’t leave his side once they discover
what he really does. From time to time, he
has been found out because someone spills
the beans about what he really does. When
that happens, he can’t get away from those
same females who ditched him earlier. He
says it’s like talking to two different people.
When they were talking to him as an accountant, they were short, cold, and generally disinterested as they were scanning the
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rest of the room for their next mark. When
a woman comes back and asks, “Are you a
surgeon?” and he admits it, she’s like a totally different person. Warm, charming, focused just on him, never glancing away to
scan the room. It’s unbelievable. When they
find out why he doesn’t admit to being a
surgeon, they tell him that it wouldn’t make
any difference how she would treat him.
They’ve already proven that it does, yet
they still try to downplay its significance to
them. They now attempt to be the person
who really is just into him, when he’s already seen that they’re not. Another of the
great female cons.
As women get close to thirty, they
really need to relax and not try to force
something to happen. Don’t force meeting
someone, and don’t force an existing relationship forward. Forcing a meeting usually
doesn’t do anything more than getting the
guy you met laid a few times. Forcing an
existing relationship to the next level can
cost you the guy who would have eventually committed and propelled you onto “the
program.” If he is really worthwhile, he will
not be pressured into a commitment. If he
isn’t worth it, the pressure will work. That’s
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why it’s a no-win situation for a female to
give her man the ultimatum before he’s
ready. If you win, you lose, and if you lose,
you lose.
Women are masters at lying to themselves. Whenever they screw up a relationship by using pressure, they say, “Well, I
guess he wasn’t the guy anyway; he would
never have committed. Better to end it now
before I have a lot more time invested in
it.” Well, ladies, I’m here to tell you that
you’re full of shit. A lot of times when you
screw up a relationship and chase a guy
away, he was the right guy and he would
have committed. You just can’t handle
looking in the mirror and admitting to yourself that you just screwed up your own future with the guy you really wanted to be
with.
The moral of the story is, instead of
acting like most of your sisters and justifying to yourself that you didn’t screw it up
when you did screw it up, take some advice. Don’t screw it up. Allow things to develop. Yes, some guys will take a lot more
patience than others. Yes, most guys won’t
move as quickly as you want them to.
However, be patient and follow your heart
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and mind, and don’t let the biological clock
affect your decisions and make you do
something stupid. You will know if he just
needs more time. You will know if he will
ultimately commit. And you will know that
without asking him and letting him know
that’s what you’re waiting for.
Men are totally different creatures in
how they screw up with women. Most of
their screw-ups happen as a result of not
having enough balls to deal with women
straight up. They tend to lie to women in an
attempt to keep them happy. As much as
women hate being lied to, they do like the
idea that they are that significant for him to
think he has to lie to her.
Let’s say you stopped at the pub on the
way home for a few drinks with the boys.
You get home, and she’s mad because
you’re half an hour late. The biggest mistake most guys make is to immediately try
to lie to justify what they did. They make
excuses for being late and lie about where
they were. What guys don’t know is the
minute you do that, you’ve just raised her
authority in your life. You’ve elevated her
into being your boss. You must answer to
her. Although women don’t like the lies,
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they love the idea that you’re answering to
her. She’s been elevated to a position of
authority. Just as you will lie to your boss at
work because of his authority, you now
have done the same thing with your spouse.
She’s now your boss, and you will be hiding and lying and answering to her forever.
What you should have done when you
got home late from the pub, instead of cowardly excusing and trying to justify it, is to
say, “Sorry I’m late, but I’ve had a long
day. The boys were stopping off for a couple of drinks, and I did the same. I wanted
to.” Plain and simple. You’ve now taken
her authority away from her. You’ve simply
admitted why you were late without fear of
repercussions by her. She’s not your boss.
You’re not concerned about her authority
over you. That’s the message you want to
send. You’ll be surprised once you employ
this approach how few arguments and lies
you will have to deal with in the future.
Men also screw up by yielding to
women’s demands. The minute you decide
it’s easier to just give in instead of argue
and hold your ground, you’re fucked. You
will be doing that forever. Sure, it might be
harder at first to hold your ground and not
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cave to her demands; however, you then
don’t have to deal with nearly as many demands from then on in. Once she sees
you’re prone to giving in instead of standing your ground, you’re toast. She will keep
pushing and demanding until you draw the
line. Guys don’t understand that women
will never get to the point where they draw
their own line and stop. They will keep going, demanding, and taking until you draw
the line. Since you will have to draw the
line eventually anyway, you may as well do
it early, when the line will be drawn in an
acceptable place. Guys are too ball-less and
complaisant in their relationships to do that.
They take the easy way out, which usually
means they’re compromising to some degree to gain some peace and quiet now.
Do you remember how schoolyard bullies were? They would not stop pushing you
until you stood up to them. Usually the
longer you waited to stand up to them, the
harder it became to do so, because by then
the bully knew you were afraid of them.
Believe it or not, women are no different.
They’re like dogs that can sense fear. When
you’re afraid of them, they know it and take
full advantage of it. You’re their bitch.
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That’s why, when you come home and start
lying to her, she knows it’s because, to
some degree, you’re afraid of her reaction if
you tell her the truth. She’s not only been
elevated to being the boss, she’s the
schoolyard bully pushing you around and
watching you hide from her and the truth.
So, guys, despite the fact that most of
you have been de-balled and have been
raised to believe women are all good and
trustworthy people to whom you should
yield, don’t fall for it. You will be living a
life of absolute misery. Don’t excuse your
various behaviors to her. Make her deal
with the way you are without excusing it.
You will be surprised how quickly she will
adapt to that, give you more respect, and
deal with you for what you are.
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CHAPTER THIRTEEN
National Security
O
ver the years, as things have changed
and evolved between men and women,
we have lost sight of all the ramifications of
these changes. America was the leader in
the world in the eyes of many other nations.
Although many other societies don’t necessarily agree with many of the USA’s ways
and beliefs, most have had a relatively high
level of respect for our great nation. Democracy and the free capitalistic system we
represent are the envy of many. In the last
several years, the USA has lost much of this
respect. Many now look at us as intrusive,
hypocritical fools. Many of the cultures we
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are having trouble with have very strong
traditional religious beliefs. They are very
set in their ways with respect to their family
unit. Many believe, as do I, that the family
unit is the heart of any society. The family
unit and its traditional values are central to
many of these cultures. The men in these
cultures must be strong and in control of
their families. They must be respected and
appreciated, much like it used to be here
forty years ago.
Since 9/11, we have all come to believe
that terrorists are our nation’s biggest
threat. I’ve got news for you. Although the
terrorist issue is of great imminent concern,
the deterioration of our family unit and the
large increase of the dysfunctional family is
a much bigger national threat than terrorists
will ever be. Terrorists can be curtailed and
their wrath isolated. The breakdown of the
family unit, the major increase in divorce,
and single parenting is eating away at our
entire country from within. It’s like a cancer. Have you ever heard of the military
strategy of “divide and conquer?” I believe
this is what is happening to us. We are being divided by the deterioration of our basic
social structure, only to be vulnerable to be
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conquered later. No greater damage can be
done to our country than the slow, steady,
systematic deterioration of basic family unit
standards and our traditional moral fiber.
Any country’s youth is its future, and
our youth are looking pretty grim. With the
advent of the unfair marriage laws and the
resulting high divorce rate and de-balling of
the modern male, our youth are not being
led and raised with any of the old morals.
Selfishness has become the order of the
day. People these days don’t even look at
getting a job and raising a family until almost middle age. Forty years ago, if you
weren’t working and married with kids by
twenty-five, something was wrong. Today,
people haven’t even decided what they
want to be when they grow up until their
late twenties. We only live to be around
seventy. If you haven’t even made that decision until you’re thirty, you’ve already
lived almost half your life before figuring
out what’s up and what’s down. If this continues, can you imagine what it will do to
our tax base in years to come? The deballing of the modern male, which was created by the high divorce rate, is also breaking down our country’s structure. The same
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way terrorists must be squashed at all cost,
so must this process of steadily eroding
family values.
We are going around the world advocating our values, beliefs, and ways of life,
and here we are in total lack of control of
the basic values which form a society.
Other countries have satellites and TVs.
They see shows like Jerry Springer, The
View, and the rest of them. They know the
way men are treated in the USA. They see
how men have become a bunch of wimps,
caving to and fearing women. How men are
persecuted and how we applaud their persecution. Women here rule in all ways, and
the world knows it. Men get their penises
sliced off while they sleep, and the mate
who did it goes free and gets applauded by
the rest of the women in the USA. Others
can see the complete lack of respect and the
humiliation that men are subjected to at the
hands of the superior women. We’re trying
to tell them they should be like us, and here
they are laughing at the men of the USA for
being a bunch of submissive wusses who
have no control over their women, lives, or
families. We’re telling a society that believes women must be kept in veils that our
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189
way is better. They know the American
woman is out sucking as many dicks as she
can on the eve of her marriage, while hubby
sits at home babysitting her kids from her
previous two marriages.
If you stop and think about it, it’s actually comical. We’re asking them to sign up
for that? There is no way they will want to
have anything to do with our way of life.
I’m not suggesting that the USA’s female
chauvinists have caused our rifts with these
nations, but I can tell you it has a lot to do
with the lack of respect that is being shown
to the USA. How can you show respect for
a nation whose basic family unit and structure is in such a chaotic state? How can you
respect men who allow themselves to be
degraded the way they are? We have to get
our affairs in order, not only for the sake of
our nation’s future, but also to regain a little
respect back from the rest of the world.
Let’s use my comparison theory again
and put the shoe on the other foot. Let’s say
some nation came to the USA and tried to
convince us that veiling women in public
and keeping them at home with chains
around their ankles was the right way the
family unit should be structured. Let’s also
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say they tried telling us that women were
inferior to men and should be treated that
way. Let’s say they were trying to sell that
way of life to us. There is no way anyone in
the USA would even consider listening to
such a proposition. We would see that their
way of life is not right and is not working
for them, as women there are being tormented, persecuted, and disrespected.
Yet here we are, going over there and
proposing a way of life that basically puts
men in that same position. Good luck selling that. As much as many societies see
democracy as good and advantageous, they
are threatened when you start talking about
human rights, women’s rights, and minority
rights. Not necessarily because they don’t
believe in those people’s rights, but because
they’ve seen what those programs have led
to in the United States, how those programs
get abused and taken too far. The pendulum
always swings too far when America tries
to look after a certain group of people. It’s
undeniable and apparent to all other nations
and cultures. That’s part of what scares
them. They see it has failed here, yet we
haven’t seen it ourselves.
We must make our family laws fair
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again and stop prosecuting men. We must
stop putting good, innocent, hard-working
men in jail simply because some wife’s
lawyer has figured out that strategically it
works to her advantage. We must start to
respect all people again. We must recognize
that men and women are and should be very
different. Each of their priorities and ways
of thinking must not be the same. Although
different, men and women must be equal.
We can’t confuse being different from each
other to being equal to each other. Men
should be men and women should be
women; they should be different, but equal.
The pendulum must be put to the neutral
position, not favoring either men or women.
Then and only then will the divorce rate
start to drop, single parenting will slow, and
the de-balling process can start to be reversed. Maybe then we will start to eliminate the level of dysfunctional families.
Maybe then men will step up and commit
the way they used to without the fear of
being tormented, abused, taken advantage
of, and persecuted for no good reason.
National security must start from
within. As a nation, we have to preserve the
sanctity of old family values. We must raise
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our offspring in an even, balanced way so
that they get the equal influence of both
parents. Men have to get back to the point
where they don’t totally fear marriage and
commitment. A man must be willing to step
up, commit, look after, and respect his
woman and family. Women must get back
to where they can count on finding a good
quality spouse who will commit when they
are ready to marry. A woman must have
respect for her man and not just see him as
a necessary evil or stepping stone to get her
where she wants to be. Marriage must be
for both the man and the woman again. It
can’t be looked at as an easier way through
life, but as a duty to your mate, your family,
and your country.
Nothing threatens our nation’s security
more than these issues. If this deterioration
continues and is not reversed, we are going
to be in big trouble in the years to come.
We will be the joke of the world instead of
the envy of the world. Even our staunchest
supporters will turn on us if we don’t get
our own house in order.
The last of my theories is: If you don’t
have control of your home life, you will
never be successful. I always tell my close
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193
friends and employees that no matter how
much money you earn, if you don’t have
control of your home life, you are screwed.
No amount of money will be enough if the
money is being spent as fast as you earn it.
Believe me, you can spend money a lot
easier than you can make it. If your spouse
is out of control, you will never be able to
make enough. So, to truly be successful,
you must not only make the money, you
must know how to control the money. If
you don’t have control of your home life,
you will not have control of your money;
therefore, you will not be in control of your
life. Our nation is no different. No matter
how great our system and way of life is, if
we don’t have control of our home lives
and have a sound family unit, we will not
be successful and will not have the respect
of others. We will also be vulnerable to
being divided and destroyed by our adversaries.
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CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Conclusion
I
hope you have enjoyed reading this
book. I tried to keep it light and easy
reading. I hope I’ve opened some eyes and
given some cause to pause and think. Much
of what I’ve said sounds pretty out there at
first, but really isn’t once you stop and
think about it. Much of it will probably be
seen as chauvinistic, but so be it. It really
wasn’t intended to be, and I don’t believe it
is. I’ve only written about the realities we
are living with. I feel as though I’m just the
messenger. I hope many of the theories I’ve
talked about will be debated. At the end of
the day, I will feel as though I’ve succeeded
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as long as people are discussing the possibility that maybe I’m right about a lot of
what I’m saying. I truly believe that things
need to change. The road that we have gone
down in the last forty years is a bad road for
everyone, even the women whom that road
was designed to help.
You can’t argue that things are much
different, and in a lot of ways, much worse
for both men and women. Women must realize that you can’t create an uneven playing field and expect that men will want to
play in that field. Men must realize that
they have been slowly changed into something that nature did not intend them to be.
We live in the best nation in the world, and
we deserve better than what we have created for ourselves. We must stand back and
reassess the current family laws and try to
understand the negative repercussions of
any legislation that is too one-sided. Legislation that tries to help a group of people is
a short-term fix, which often only ends up
hurting that very group in the long run. That
is what has happened with the family-law
changes. We tried to correct a problem and
overdid it. By overdoing it, we helped
women in the short term but screwed them
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up in the long term. Problem is, we’ve also
screwed it up for everyone else.
I would encourage everyone who has
read this book to do as I did in my research
for it. Talk to women you trust and ask
them straight out. Ask them how they truly
feel about things, how they really look at
men, how they feel about relationships.
What it is they are really seeking. Ask them
how they see other women and if the lack
of respect for men really exists in their
minds. I think you will be surprised at the
result. Then you may have to come back
and read this book again once you have
determined that it has merit.
I ask that you pay attention to some of
what I have discussed. Listen to the way
women talk. Put their words into men’s
mouths and ask yourself how you would
feel if a man said it. When watching TV, try
to put the shoe on the other foot in terms of
what is being discussed. Take the female
host’s words and pretend a male host had
said it about a woman. Once you have done
this long enough, you will see the blatant
double standard that society has developed
toward men. It’s sad to think that it has become so commonplace that you actually
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have to consciously do that to notice it.
Men truly have become the whipping posts
of the day.
Everyone who has read this book will
think of several guys who need to read it,
guys who are blindly being led by the nose
through life, not having a clue about what’s
happening to them and why. Many have so
fallen for the great female cons that they
can barely see daylight. Many have come to
believe that they have no choice, and that’s
just the way it is. Those are the guys you
must give a copy of this book to. Make
them see perspectives that you know
they’ve never given a fleeting thought to. If
you are one of the guys who has one of
these modern-day controlling female chauvinists, you’d better not let her see you
reading this book. I have already made several enemies by trying to open guys’ eyes to
things. Women don’t appreciate someone
coming along and ruining the good thing
they have going by waking up their
schmoe.
I have had a couple of people, with
whom I was very close, leave this world.
Those losses made me stop and rethink
things. One of the biggest revelations was
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how short and fragile life really is. Life is
the real deal; it’s no dress rehearsal. You
only have one shot at it. One unhappy day
gone by is one day never to be retrieved.
It’s gone forever. One less day to live your
life. We all know how fast time goes by as
you get older. I’m told, and believe, that it
only gets faster the older you get. That
means that before you know it, we will be
knocking on heaven’s door. There is no
way that I will spend any amount of time
left in my life being miserable – not doing
something I want to do, being held back
from anything, missing out on things I’ve
always wanted to do. I want to travel and
explore the world as much as possible.
I look at guys who are stuck in relationships that are repressive, and it makes me
sad. This kind of man is wasting his life for
the frivolous benefit of his selfish spouse,
who doesn’t care for one minute that his
life is being wasted. Of course, she probably doesn’t believe that it’s being wasted,
because from her perspective, life is great.
She has everything she’s always wanted
and more. And believe me, what she wants
that he can’t give her or that she can’t do
with him, she will get on her own. She
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won’t sacrifice it, trust me. I can tell you
this, if you feel that you can’t do something
you like doing, you are being repressed. If
you can’t go to your spouse and say, “I’m
going on a golf trip with the boys because
I’ve always wanted to,” you’re a wuss. If
you can’t stop off for a couple of drinks on
the way home from work without being
persecuted, you’re her bitch. If your cell
phone rings every couple of hours with her
voice on the other end making small talk,
you’re trapped. You must change the rules.
Improve your life. Start thinking about
yourself a little more. Let her know you’re
getting older and less patient and want to
start to enjoy yourself a little more. Don’t
wait. Life is too short.
I want to thank all the women in my life
who have helped me greatly in understanding them, from my mother to my employees, and everyone in between. Their
honesty and open-door policy will not be
forgotten. I would never have been able to
see much of what I’ve written if not for
them. I hope the guys who read this book
take heed. I hope you will have gained
some perspective that you wouldn’t otherwise have seen. Go back and reread this
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201
book a couple of months after the first
reading and see if it makes more sense than
the first time you read it. After the first
reading, you will assess things that happen
differently and look sideways at much of
what happens in your life. You may find
yourself going back to certain chapters
from time to time based on events happening in your life.
Keep an open mind and try not to become too cynical, but at the same time try
not to be too naive. Balance is key in assessing people and situations. Try to put
yourself in someone’s shoes when trying to
figure that person out. Remember the comparison and priorities theories. Those will
help you the most in gauging where they
are coming from. Trust your instincts and
your gut. If you’re of normal intelligence,
your instincts will be better than you give
yourself credit for. Never lie to yourself,
and always deal with reality. Try not to be
idealistic. Most of all, don’t go to your
grave with any regrets. Enjoy!