PURPOSIVE COMMUNICATION
LESSON 4
City of You
In the busy streets of Tondo, where people create time lapses in my mind in the passing
time of the afternoon. The smell of smoke in the air that fills my lungs and the noise of people that
makes me uncomfortable. I walk alone on the pavement where my memories are reminiscing about
the time I held your hand when we went to our favorite coffee shop where I gave you the necklace.
The warmth that I missed, a scent that lingers around me. Funny how my eyes are dazzled only to
you in the midst of all the people. As I saw you, I felt anxious and heard my heart pounding. The
butterflies in my stomach went wild. Your brown eyes that give me hope in living, your long, wavy
hair that I used to braid, your nose that gets red whenever I pinched it and I remember you hated
it, and your face so angelic that I feel blessed everytime you look at me. But this time, seeing you
is a curse. A curse I won't be able to break.
Regret keeps haunting me as I saw you that only reminds me of my mistake. The emitting
color of blue that passed by gives me flashbacks yesterday. Where we fell rock bottom as we
quarrel, these reasons that we felt spaced rather we fix it for ourselves. But my pride and my ego
tried to push you away from me that the thinking of me was all right. Yes, I was that selfish bastard
that you love and hate but you said we are still in this together. All I did was to leave but you chose
to wait. You cried in my arms, begged for attention but I chose to move away. I took you for
granted that everything was fine until you shouted and forced yourself to get out of the blue car.
That time you had enough and felt flustered. I chased you outside the car as the ambience was cold
and miserable , the tears in your eyes were crystal clear and I felt remorse for every pain you felt
from me. You are going to say that you’ve been waiting for your whole life,
“I don't love you anymore, Riguel. Let's break up."
Exactly the words that spit out from your delicate lips. I got furious , I’m a human after
all. I can't think straight. I left you there sobbing in pain but God knows how painful it is to leave
you. You were crying, but I am dying after hearing your words. At that very moment, I want to
escape reality. I wanna get drunk. I wanna get wasted. I wanna get away from you for killing me
and my heart. I drove off leaving you with a broken heart. Drowning by my liquor as my life
collapsed, a blur that removes every second of us, every memory of us. Numb is my only friend
that I didn’t taste the bitterness but a taste of sweet escape from you. My friends who were there
for me, pity me and forced me to drink more to let the fun start. Alas, my dumb decisions have
worked for me to forget you. As I departed with my friends, they were worried as I was the only
one that was too drunk to drive. I was reckless and pushed my friends away, forcing myself to
drive in the depths of midnight as a smell of intoxication is scattered inside of my car. I drove
myself to madness as I think about you and all the things I should have done to let you stay. In a
glimpse of lights turning dark, a memory keeps going back the way I saw you in the busy streets
of Tondo. Where your scent is recalling me of the way you smile. A hand that keeps reaching to
me whenever I fall. The girl that I should have cherished that now has all gone. I have awakened
myself standing on a road as I saw my corpse soaked up in blood inside my blue car in the streets.
The crowd was shaking and calling for help to somehow rescue my lifeless body. I wasn’t afraid
of death but I was afraid because of her. I was afraid that she would forget my existence, she would
forget everything we had. I cried out helplessly as my fate ended in nothing. I wished to see you
one last time. The howl of the night calls upon the cold hour, where everything is shallow in
darkness and trying to devour me to the abyss. I knew I wasn’t ready. I was stuck in a limbo where
my soul wandered around the city and tried to find you. I almost lose it until Death came upon and
said
“ I’ve seen your pain that wanders around in the emptiness. I will not let you feel the agony that I
have. I’ll give you time until sunset to see her.”
“ But can’t you see? She may not have forgotten me.”
“She wasn’t, she cherished you even if your hearts have been broken. She loves you
unconditionally.”
“She left me, how do you say?”
“She has been waiting for you. She left you because you weren’t ready.”
“ What do you mean?”
“Your heart wasn’t ready for hers. Now that you realize it now, you are too late for that. I have
given you the chance just to see her.”
I was trying to find you ,waiting in the morning as if I was expecting you to come here to
where we first met. I walk in this busy street of Tondo as the sun is striking giving the city a hot
afternoon. Everything came back as I saw you. My heart pounding so hard as if it was there. The
butterflies in my stomach are now eating me up. As you draw nearer, I held myself in front of you
and said ,
“ I’m sorry that I only say this to you now. I love you, Shella.”
You felt a gust of wind towards you. A heavy feeling that is familiar to you. You pause but
you continued walking in front of me. You passed through me as I tried to hug you. I cried in sense
you felt the wind but you ignored me. That’s the time I have given up.
Walking on pavement, a sight of you losing its view. A hope that I lose in my hands. Now,
all I see is you. But sadly you can't see me anymore. No one can . In this crowded place like this ,
no one can ever notice a ghost like me walking on a limbo.