Surviving an Honest and
Spiritual Inventory4
MAY
Everything sounds great, until you actually have to do something. As a procrastinator, I understand
the problem.
The first time I went through Celebrate Recovery, the idea of having to write out my life’s hurts,
habits and hang-ups sounded easy. However, when I came to Step 4, Inventory – and, had to actually
do the work – the 12-Step process didn’t seem so easy after all. I spent a lot of time thinking about
how I could weasel my way out of the work; I could see why so many people quit the program, as
soon as they came to Step 4.
But, that was how the “old me” looked at everything. Seek the easy way out, and call it done. That’s
how I got into so much trouble in the first place…turning to porn, instead of investing in a
meaningful relationship with a real person…drinking or drugging, instead of owning my
responsibilities…buying into all the lies I had constructed about how life was, in my image, instead of
accepting God’s truth.
I was 50 years old and had an extensive list of bad habits I had grooved over time. I was sick of the
results. I was not happy with my life. I spent a lot of time fooling myself, in denial, and my doublelife was becoming a major burden. I had just lost another promising relationship, because of my porn
addiction, and I felt I was running out of options.
Celebrate Recovery was a toss of the dice for me. But, when I got into the program, I realized I was
not alone. I saw other men struggling with the same problems I faced, all making the commitment to
set one season aside to get things right.
I am chagrined to say that, at the time, I thought I was better than many of them. Yet, here they were,
facing up to their mistakes and bowing before God to clear their records, once and for all. I was
humbled and inspired. Then, when we came to the 4th step on inventory, some of the men dropped
out of the program. I was determined not to be counted among the “quitters.” I was determined to do
what it took, at last, to get my life in order. On paper, person-by-person, event-by-event, memory-bymemory, literally, step-by-step, to see how I got in this place, and finally, set the record straight.
Celebrate Recovery provided me with a framework and support system to get the job done. The
questions in the guides opened vistas into my past that had long been closed off. My accountability
team and sponsor were there to call me and spur me on. The surviving members of my step group,
who were working alongside me, let me know I was not alone. The esprit de corps that ensued
actually made the work seem easier.
I set aside an hour here, an hour there, and over the course of several weeks, I managed to, at last,
make a full accounting of my life, on paper. My memories were now more than fleeting thoughts. I
had truly taken my thoughts “captive.” There they were. On paper. Going nowhere, where I could
examine them and address them once and for all.
2 Corinthians 10:5 says, “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the
knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”
This is what the 4th Step meant to me: It meant my sick thinking was now under arrest; I could at last
break it all down to see what was really there. The truth was documented. And, although, sharing my
written inventory face-to-face with my sponsor was yet ahead, and the greater liberation of making a
direct amends with the people I hurt and those who hurt me was looming, I had accomplished
something important. I had “examined my ways,” in obedience to Lamentations 3:40, and I was
ready to “return to the Lord.”
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Folks, if you have not taken the time to complete a written inventory, I encourage you to do so. God
will do a work in your heart, if you let him. Join us for Celebrate Recovery at First Baptist Dallas
downtown, and commit one season of your life to getting things right, with God and with your fellow
man. Do this, and I promise you, “the Truth really shall set you free.”