papa apka msg parha tha, par himat nhi thi apko jawab daynay ki, likn papa, main ap logon ko kushi say choor kay nhi aya hon, sab say bara bayta honay kay natik main khud ab ap dono ko face nhi kar pa rha, papa
degree peechay ho gui hy, kia yah depression meray liaye nhi hy? papa meri job nhi hy, ap say 100 100 petrol kay mangtay way kia mujhy sharam nhi ati? ghr pah apko support nhi kar pa rha , kia is say mujhy sharam nhi a rhi hy? papa main ap logon ko face nhi kar sakta hon, is liaye nhi a rha. papa likn kabhi ap logon nay soocha, kay shery kesay survive kar rha hy? papa apni okaat say bari university main admission to lay lia, us waqt andaza nhi tha, zindgi kitni mushqil
hy, papa har semester main apni fees karni hoti hy, jis kay liaye koi rasta dekh raha hota hon, university kay projects kay liaye paisay chahiye hotay hian, uska jugar kar rha hota hon, ab to petrol kay bhi jitna kam ho sakay nhi mangta hon, likn main khud bhi toot chuka hon kay ghr main sab say zaida fassad ki jar main hon, papa main nay, mama ki jewellery li ab jab bhi kahin say paisay atay jain gaue jesay bali bnwa
di baqi bhi allah nay caha to bnwa donga, likn papa us din kay baad say, aj tk,, mama kay mun pah 2 sentences hotay hian
"mujhy tujh pah bharosa he nhi, " "mujhy teri baat pah yaqeen he nhi"
agr maa ko baytay pah bharosa nhi, to bayta maa sath muhabat say rah kay munafiqat he kar rhy hian.
papa main bhi jitna ho sakta hy, ghr kay liaye kar dayta hon, jab order lag jata tha
to bijli kay bill shahzeb ko mobile mama ko bali mentainace sab ap logon kay sath he karta
hon
shahzeb ka issb hua mujhy bhi ap logon jitni baayhad kushi hui, ap nay bataya meray bhi ansu nhi rukh rhy thy likn raat ko, main bahir tha cake lay rha tha, mama nay msg kar kay poocha to kush to hy, papa bahi ka hua main matam karonga? main bhi ghr walon ko boht piyar karta hon.
shahzeb abi a rha tha, mama ko bataya kay, wo salary mili hy. mama ko shaq paida ho guya pata nhi shery us say lay layga, mama nay kaha, kay jo uskay sath larka a rha hy, uska number mujhy day kay ja, papa main ghr ko nhi baychonga
mama ko lagta hy main zalim hon, main ghr bhi baich donga, papa nhi hon itna zalim, main bhi
abhi bhi ya aik 2 hazar rupay zarorat kay liaye he liaye na, socha tha ayin gaue to apko kamoshi say wapsi bhej donga, pahlay bhi jab i earned to kamoshi say apko bhejay thy na, tab to mama nay nhi kaha kay, agr dyanay thy to bata kay dayta, agr shahzeb ko mobile dilana tha 20 ,000 ka nhi 40, 0000 ka to bata kay dilata, papa jab main saab kay sath agya bar kay support kar jata hon, to aik do dafa main nay lay laiye to mujhy chor zalim kia kia bol dia, mama nay apna aur mera rishta bilkl babar aur shumaila wala bana dia hy, wo meray say direct baaat nhi karti, wo meray dil kay itnay kareeb hoti thi, main kuch bi karon , unko mehsoos ho jata tha, shayad main nay apni harkaton say unko boht door kardia hy, ab wo mujhy sahi nhi karna chahti, ab wo mujhy itna bura samjhti hian jiski haad nhi hy papa, wo kabhi samjhti hian , wo meray ilawa baqi logon ko rook kay cheezain sahi kar lain gui, papa dosray ko ja kay wo mujh say zaida unka hamdard samjh layti hain, papa wo ya nhi sooch rhi kay, main itna door q ho guya hon, mwo bolti hian kay main share nhi karta un say, papa wo ya nhi sochti kay wo khud bhi to dil main wo jaga bana rhi, jesay wo banaya karti thi, pura ghr apni apni dunia main masroof hota hy, koi apnay dil ki baat kisi ko nhi bolta hy
apko financial kitna difficulty hy ap hm say chupatay hain, mama ki kia halat ho rhi hy, mama hm nay chupati hain , main khud say kia lar rha hon main apni chupata hon, chanu meri taraf bachon ko tackle nhi kar pa rha hy, wo hm say chupata hy, papa are we a family? hm log aik dosray ko apnay dil ka haal nhi bata saktay, hm khanay pah beth tay hian, to hm politics, ya khandan ko discuss kartay hian , papa hm apas main dil ki baaat nhi kartay, jisko dosray ki baat buri lag jaye wo kamosh ho jaye bas,
main aik dam ghr say uth kay nhi aya hon papa, hm nay apas main bonding boht kamzoor kardi hy, na main ap say akelay koi baat kar sakta hon, na mama mujh say hm koi aik dosary ko nhi bata tay., papa main bhi jahan rah rha hon,, aik aik second baad ansu a jatay hain, likn main ya khud akelay rah kay, gpa utha kya ghr aonga, kia mujhy apna ghr passand nhi, likn ab jab tk gpa nhi aye ga 4 main ghr kay andar nhi aonga papa
is semester bhi i have worked hard , aur agla mila kay to i'll get the best gpa, bas boht ho guya, yah kay shery gpa nhi layta, is semester bhi aye ga aur aglay bhi, inshallah
aur main us kamray ka jab haq ada karlonga to rah bhi longa, jis din mama ko jewellery aur degree day donga, main udhr rah longa, papa main tooota hua aik insan hon , main agr kisi larki say dossti kar layta hon,aur uskay pass ja rha hon to mama say poochain na, kay unkay pass q nhi beth raha, papa jo insan gir chuka hy, usko tanay mar kay nhi uthaya ja sakta, main ghr say kuch ghantay bahir is liaye guzarta hon q kay ghr say bahir main sakoon main hota hon, 4 ghantay bhair rah kay bhi, main a kay raat puri sakta hon,, q kay mama nay apni zindgi mujh say already boht alag karli hy, wo boht judgemntal ho gui hian , agr itna judge karain gi to, insan kuch share nhi kar sakta, wo mujh say baat nhi karti,meray dil main jaga nhi bana rhi, wo meray sath alag he tareekay say chalti hain, kabhi mobile main check karti hian , kabhi kia, papa meray pass zindgi main mama say bara koi bound nhi tha. main chanu ki tarah churu say share nhi karta tha, likn mama batain kar kar kay mujh say akhaz kar layti thi, ab wo ya nhi karti, ab unhon nay naye tareekay nikal laiye hian, jis say wo door hoti ja ri hin aur mama ki support or bond kay begair main agay nhi bar sakta, ya wo bhi janti hain.
abhi bhi wo ya nhi dekh rhi kay, shery abhir aik bike pah ata jata hy, par un logon ko hamari bike bikwani hy, papa hm log abhi bhi farooq mamo kay neechay daab rhy hain, papa unhon nay, hamain udhar nhi dia tha, unhon nay paisay diaye thy, kay wo bhi kuch kama lain gaue , hm nay unko force nhi kia tha, ab cheez neechay ai wi hy, hm unkay pressure main a kay , apnay ghr ka mahool kharab kr rhy hain, farooq mamo aur sania to begarti ki haad pah hain ,mama jnati hain wo meray baray main kia kia bol rhy hian , wo mamo jo hamaray samnay apka mazak ura dayta hy, hm rishtay ki khatir chup ho jatay hian kay mama ko bura lag jata hy, us insan ny hamary sath kitna bura nhi kia, hm rishtay ki khatir chup ho jatay hian
papa ahbi bhi hm har chez main lihaz kar jatay hian wo kia kia bayish kay aye sab khud kha gaue mama ka koi hisa nhi daytay, likn nani nay foran jita dia tha, kay tum nay pahlay bhi 15hazar fees kay ;liaye thy, papa wo log sirf apna sochaty hian nani mujhy bol rhi thi apni bike sale kardo, march main 1 lac day dongi, aur sath bata rhi thi kay wo babr wali bike sale nhi kar saktay q kay farooq kay pass aur koi sawari he nhi, papa as a family we are wo compromised and distributed hm log sath stand nhi kartay hian , to papa itni sari cheezain aik sath hm face kar rhy hain . likn sab aik dosray ko aur depression day rhy hain , papa main ny is semeter bhi perform kia hy, aglay bhi karonga aur aur mama ko degree dekha donga, papa i love you all. meri degree agr mujhy us kamray main rakh sakti hy to ab main bhi zid puri kar kay dekhaonga degree aur gpa dono mama ko dekhao ga . baqi i love you all, ap sab ko main bohat piyar karta hon papa main bhi apnay dil pah pathar rakh kay, yahan ruka wa hon, ap bolain gaue main akay mil longa ,likn papa us bed pah gpa aur degree kay sath rahonga, papa mama say poochna kay wo kal jatay huay bhi mujhy galian he day kay gui thi, mera bhai tha na ghr main main uska khayal nhi rakhonga to kon rakhay ga, likn wo itnay ghusay say bol kay phir galian day kay bhair gui, papa main bohat muhabat karta hon, main na ap logon ko zor say kuch bola, na larai ki na gali di, papa main ap logon ki boht izzat aur muhabat karta hon.