COMPREHENSIVE STUDY RESOURCES FOR STUDENTS OF COUNSELLING AND PSYCHOTHERAPY
ATTACHMENT
STYLES
This may be a useful exercise to carry out with your peers for self-assessment. If you are a tutor,
then it can form the basis of a personal development exercise or a link into teaching attachment
theory.
Secure attachment, where the person feels relatively secure with being close or distant with
people.
Anxious attachment, where a person feels anxious about being alone or abandoned.
Avoidant attachment, where the person is uncomfortable with closeness and maintains a certain
distance from other people.
Ambivalent attachment, where the person moves emotionally between needing to be close and
wanting distance from others.
Think about the statements below and consider which, if any, closely relate to how you view
others.
Secure Attachment
I have very close friends and some distant ones.
I do not mind being apart from friends and family.
Although I am sad when friends move away, I know I can live without them.
I like being on this course because of new friends I am making.
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COMPREHENSIVE STUDY RESOURCES FOR STUDENTS OF COUNSELLING AND PSYCHOTHERAPY
Anxious Attachment
I feel worried that my friends may leave me.
I feel anxious about losing the people I care for.
I am cautious about making new friends.
I am worried that I may not make new friends on this course.
Avoidant Attachment
I prefer my own company.
I have no really close friends.
I see my family occasionally.
My idea of hell is being trapped on an island with this group.
Ambivalent Attachment
I get close to people really quickly but relationships don’t develop.
I quarrel easily with friends or partners.
People seem to let me down quite a bit.
After I have revealed something on this course, I feel panicky.
There are no ‘right or wrong’ attachment styles. However it may be worth considering how your
attachment style impacts your ability to build and maintain relationships (including those with
clients).
It’s also worth knowing that our attachment styles can change through life experience, therapy, or
in some cases, traumatic events.
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