1
Road to Hong Kong Diploma of Secondary Education Examination
Writing notes (13) (DSE 論說文佳作欣賞)
HKDSE English Sample Paper Q9 (Letter to a non-governmental organization)
Learning English through Social Issues
You suspect that your neighbours are treating their pets badly. Write a letter to the Society for the Prevention
of Cruelty to Animals (SPCA) showing your concern and give details of any incidents of abuse you are aware of.
Suggest what could be done to ensure the welfare of the pets and say why these measures are urgent. Sign
your name ‘Chris Wong’.
上款
Dear Sir/Madam,
Paragraph 1
(寫作目的)
1.
寫信目的
I am writing to register my concern about animal abuse as my neighbours are suspected
of torturing their pets.
2.
介紹論題
Sad to say, cases such as this are just the tip of the iceberg and have already crept into
society.
3.
期望
In light of this, by reporting this incident, I hope to bring to the public’s attention the
severity of this problem and thus to rectify this mess.
Paragraph 2
(案件 1)
1.
標題句 (受害者 1)
Next to my apartment lives a middle-aged man with his golden retriever.
2.
詳細解釋
I find that he always locks his dog out of the flat and leaves it in the corridor. Over the
past few weeks, barks have often been heard, which is unusual as his dog has been
trained not to make loud noises. Furthermore, his dog is getting frailer and frailer.
Probably the man has failed to give it sufficient food and the dog is suffering from
malnutrition. The last time I saw the man taking his dog for a walk it was limping.
Approaching the man and asking him about the plight of the pitiful dog, he told me that
the dog injured itself when jumping off a cupboard. Since then, it has vanished.
3.
總結句
I suspect the owner might have been kicking and punching his dog, thus badly hurting it.
2
Paragraph 3
(案件 2)
1.
標題句 (受害者 2)
On the other side of the building lives another dog owned by a busy manager working in
a big corporation.
2.
詳細解釋
Often does he need to work overseas. Last week, he was on a business trip again, leaving
his dog alone in the apartment. There was nobody to take care of the dog. Days later,
not having heard any sounds from the dog for a long time, I started to worry about it and
subsequently called the police.
3.
總結句
It was found that the miserable pet had been starving for days and it was so weak.
Barely could it move and bark.
Paragraph 4
(過渡段)
1.
承上啟下
Realizing the significance of ensuring the welfare of the pets, I will suggest the following
measures to cope with the problem of pet abuse.
Paragraph 5
(建議 1)
1.
標題句
First and foremost, public awareness of the seriousness of pet abuse should be raised.
2.
詳細解釋 (建議好處 + 具體實行方法)
In fact, not only can SPCA assist by launching an educational campaign, it can also publish
brochures with guidelines on how to take care of pets properly. Lessons can be offered
to those pets owners who lack basic knowledge as to how to treat their pets in
appropriate ways.
3.
總結句
With all these measures, pet owners will be capable of building up a correct and
responsible attitude towards their pets.
3
Paragraph 5
(建議 2)
1.
標題句
It is also worth noting that the power of legislation can be utilized to alleviate the
problem of pet abuse.
2.
詳細解釋 (建議好處 + 具體實行方法)
Stricter legislations should be passed to offer better protection to pets. Through
imposing deterrents such as penalties on those violating the law, the number of pet
abuse incidents would be drastically reduced. Being a key stakeholder concerning pet
protection, SPCA plays a vital role in lobbying the government to implement stricter
legislation.
Paragraph 6
(建議 2)
1.
總結全文
To conclude, it is all the more crucial for pet owners to understand that owning a pet is a
lifelong commitment in which they have to shoulder the responsibility of taking care of
them throughout their lives. Unfortunately, many people these days keep pets casually
on impulse. Arguably, their irresponsible actions have resulted in the escalation of the
problem of pet abuse.
2.
期望
Only through the concerted efforts of the government and your association will the pet
abuse problem be tackled in due course.
下款
Yours faithfully,
Chris Wong
Chris Wong
4
HKDSE English 2012 Q2
Learning English through Sports Communication (forum post)
You have been following an online debate in Health and Fitness eMag about the value of doing virtual sports
(such as those played on a Wii) versus real sports. Write your view on the topic and post it on the online forum.
Paragraph 1
(寫作目的)
2.
解釋 virtual sports 的操作
By using a motion-sensitive controller that requires players to simulate swinging a
tennis racket or throwing a bowling ball, virtual sports consoles have no doubt
revolutionized the way people do sports.
3.
介紹論題
There has always been widespread debate as to whether virtual sports can replace
conventional sports.
4.
明確表明立場
With regard to this, I believe that the value of doing virtual sports is inferior to doing
real sports and under no circumstances can virtual sports replace real sports.
Paragraph 2
(論點 1)
1.
標題句
To commence with, virtual sports are unrealistic and can hardly provide an imitation of
playing outdoor sports.
2.
詳細解釋論點
As an enthusiast of tennis, I can say that the sport is irreplaceable. For instance, hitting
a ball with a real racket requires a greater physical strength than using a motionsensitive controller. It is also worth noting that neither are the skills learnt in virtual
sports the same nor comparable to those individual or team skills learnt in engaging in
real sports activities For example, gestures and techniques used in playing golf or
tennis in real life are much more challenging than simply waving the Wii Remote in the
living room.
5
Paragraph 3
(論點 2)
1.
標題句
Most importantly, the existence of virtual sports seems to have defeated the essence
of competitive sports.
2.
詳細解釋論點
There is no denying that the main aim for people to participate in sports activities is to
keep fit and healthy. Nonetheless, that is not the sole objective. Another crucial
objective of engaging in real life sports is to facilitate personal development, which
can hardly be achieved through playing in virtual sports. For instance, through taking
part in team sports can we learn to collaborate with others. Equally worth noting is
that real sports allow us to make new friends and widen our social circle. With our
participation in inter-school soccer or basketball competitions, for example, we can
befriend youngsters from different schools.
3.
總結句
Apparently, all these benefits can only be achieved by engaging in real sports.
6
Paragraph 4
(駁論)
1.
相反觀點
Some critics argue that virtual sports are conducive to burning fats and reducing our
weight.
2.
讓步
Undeniably, virtual sports encourage more activities than traditional sedentary video
games and can act as the stepping stone for people to savour the merriment of sports
in a non-threatening environment.
3.
反駁句
Nevertheless, we should recognize that virtual sports are far less effective than real
sports in burning calories and keeping fit.
4.
詳細解釋論點
While limited calories can be eliminated during virtual gaming, the amount is
incomparable with the calories burn in real exercise. As a matter of fact, the amount of
movement involved in virtual games is far less than that in actual sports. Tennis is a
case in a point. Whereas you can play “tennis” in a pressure-free situation through Wii,
a competitive tennis match is physically-demanding and draining. It is not uncommon
to hear that a professional tennis match lasts for more than 3 hours. With a view to
winning a match, often does a tennis player run left and right and up and down of the
court. Furthermore, it is worth remembering that the environment of real sports is
much more challenging, testing the endurance and stamina of participants. Unlike the
air-conditioned environment of playing virtual sports, where you can take a rest from
time to time by eating your favourite snacks, a host of actual sports including soccer
and mountaineering take place in sizzling outdoor arenas. For participants who are
motivated to perform well, toiling and sweating are inevitable.
5.
總結句
Evidently, a workout using a virtual sports game console is not intense enough. Only
through playing real sports can we keep fit.
7
總結內文
Paragraph 5
1.
總結
To conclude, although virtual sports may be an improvement on traditional sedentary video
games, allowing a greater degree of body movement in games, the health and interpersonal
benefits associated with virtual sports are in no way comparable with those of real sports.
2.
期望
In view of the conspicuous superiority of real sports over virtual sports, it would seem highly
impossible for virtual sports to take over from real sports in the foreseeable future.
8
HKDSE English 2012 Q6
Learning English through Popular Culture
The human desire to look attractive is universal and because of this, cosmetic surgery is now a multi-million
dollar industry. Write a letter to the editor of the Hong Kong Express about the obsession with physical beauty.
上款
Dear Sir/Madam,
Paragraph 1
1. 寫信目的
介紹
As a regular reader of your column who takes heed of the prevalent trend in cosmetic
surgery, I am writing to bring to the public’s attention the seriousness of such a
phenomenon.
2.
背景介紹
In a prosperous metropolis such as Hong Kong, many perceive appearance and
attractiveness equivalent to true beauty and proceed to undergo such surgery in pursuit of
desired perfection. The obsession with such surgery has infected many in a way that, if not
rectified, will soon be beyond redemption.
標題句
Paragraph 2
1.
承認整容的存在
Undeniably, treating cosmetic surgery as nothing but a scourge would indeed be subjective
價值
and unfair.
2.
詳細解釋
In some cases like air crash accidents in which one’s face is brutally tattered, cosmetic
surgery can act as a reasonable method of restoring one’s appearance and life to normality.
For instance, a victim of the Lganga petrol fire claimed cosmetic surgery was a blessing
saving him from facial scarring and mental devastation.
9
標題句
Paragraph 3
1.
整容禍害 1
While the above stands firmly as a justified reason for cosmetic surgery, we have to recognize
that the surgery is associated with enormous health risks.
2.
詳細解釋
Granted, our technology is evolving at a dramatic and unprecedented pace. Nevertheless, the
risks of such surgery are still there, waiting for the next victim. In this decade, there have been
accidents related to cosmetic surgery. Some people’s cheeks decay in the wake of the injection
of Botox, whereas some are visually impaired after eyelid surgery. In the case of an allergy,
some unfortunate victims may even end up paying the ultimate price – death.
3.
總結句
Like a minefield, sugar-coated cosmetic surgery can become a ticket to lifelong misery and
regret.
標題句
Paragraph 4
1.
整容禍害 2
Furthermore, cosmetic surgery has distorted the moral value in our society.
2.
詳細解釋
In a society where physical appearance is the yardstick of beauty, the blind quest to remove
each and every blemish is ubiquitous. Take a stroll down the street and you will come across
many billboards displaying mesmerizing models with oval faces and unblemished skin. With
such a high bar, it is no surprise that even a pimple as small as a strawberry seed is considered
as mortifying as a dreadnought. In such a blind pursuit of perfection, many will then embark
on their trip to cosmetic surgery and physical beauty. Obsessed with appearance, seldom will
they spare efforts on their inner beauty. As Ellen DeGeneres once said, “beauty comes from
beneath the skin.
3.
總結句
Sadly, with the spread of such a cosmetic epidemic, this moral is starting to fall into oblivion.
10
承上
Paragraph 5
1.
過渡段
Merely calling for a halt to such a trend may appear to be a hollow talk.
2.
啟下
However, there are many concrete things the government can do to defeat this alluring
monster of cosmetic surgery.
標題句
Paragraph 6
1.
建議 1
To commence with, the government should regulate cosmetic surgery through setting up law
and stepping up law enforcement.
2.
詳細解釋 (具體方法 + 好處)
In the short run, the government should restrict advertisements of cosmetic surgery. At a more
extreme level, the government could prohibit all forms of discounts or offers, and slogans like
“Super Smooth Summer Surgery” or “New Year, New Face”. Moreover, similar to the
treatment of cigarettes, it is essential for the government to require surgery companies to
insert a visible deterrent like “Cosmetic surgery may lead to permanent disfiguration and
death”.
3.
總結句
Through minimizing public exposure to this surgery can such an obsession with plastic surgery
be mitigated.
標題句
Paragraph 7
1.
建議 2
Another preventive measure falls into the category of education.
2.
詳細解釋 (具體方法 + 好處)
Arguably, the significance of inner beauty should be instilled in children’s impressionable
minds. By holding more talks organizing movie sessions in schools, putting up commercials as
well as organizing public campaigns discouraging cosmetic surgery and emphasizing inner
beauty, children will soon realize they are beautiful for who they are, not how they look.
3.
總結句
With tough government legislations and long-term public education, teenagers will understand
the superiority of morality and inner beauty and say no to plastic surgery.
11
總結內文
Paragraph 8
1.
總結
The overwhelming obsession with cosmetic surgery is detrimental to our society. People from
all walks of life should maintain a clear and critical mindset to repel such a beast.
2.
期望
Hopefully, through the effort of the government can we prevail in this long battle and conquer
our addiction to physical beauty and plastic surgery.
下款
Yours faithfully,
Chris Wong
Chris Wong
12
HKDSE English 2012 Q8 (Letter to Businesses)
Learning English through Workplace Communication
You are an intern at Hong Kong Correctional Services. The government has launched a campaign called Second
Chance to encourage employers to recruit reformed criminals or drug addicts. Write a letter to all Hong Kong
businesses outlining the new project, explaining the benefits and persuading them to join the scheme.
上款
Dear Sir/Madam,
Paragraph 1
1. 寫信目的
介紹
I am writing on behalf of Hong Kong Correctional Services to introduce our latest
programme “Second Chances” to you.
2. 介紹計劃目標
Our programme aims at reconnecting reformed criminals or drug addicts to society by
having them employed by different businesses
3.
鼓勵參加
As the saying goes, “nobody is perfect”. Everyone makes mistakes at one time or another.
The path to recovery is not only in the hands of the criminals but people from all walks of
life, including employers. Given this, it would be a noble and benevolent act to employ
them and offer them a promising future.
更生人士的困境
Paragraph 2
1.
更生人士的困境
Over the past few years, we, Hong Kong Correctional Services, have stayed in contact with
many ex-criminals to keep track of their latest situation. Nonetheless, it appears that job
seeking remains a thankless and tough task for them. Many of the unemployed are
proclaimed to be on the brink of being social outcasts, which we believe to be detrimental
to their mental well-being.
2.
強調計劃有助更生人士脫離困境
Therefore, by launching this campaign, we are making every endeavour to help the
rehabilitants escape from the ordeal of unemployment.
13
承上啟下
Paragraph 3
1.
過渡段
By participating in the aforementioned programme, not only can you revolutionize others’
lives, you can also benefit a myriad of ways.
標題句
Paragraph 4
1.
對商界的好處 1
To commence with, employing rehabilitated workers will be instrumental in establishing
your company’s image as a responsible corporation.
2.
詳細解釋
Through proactively getting involved in community-related issues like the settlement of excriminals, your company can present itself as a caring community contributor. As a result,
consumers will realize that your company not only aims at maximizing profit, but also
enhancing the well-being of society.
3.
總結句
In the long run, such a strategy will contribute to an unrivalled reputation and thus a more
lucrative business.
標題句
Paragraph 5
1.
對商界的好處 2
Another proven benefit is the amelioration in corporate efficiency and productivity.
2.
詳細解釋
In Hong Kong, ex-criminals and drug addicts are often misapprehended as indolent and
work-shy owing to their inglorious past. Nonetheless, according to studies, since they have
experienced many mental agonies and struggles on the path to recovery, they have a higher
incentive to overcome their regrets by working industriously and being more responsible.
Hence, many ex-criminals tend to be more sedulous than other workers to prove that they
are not the parasites of society.
3.
總結句
Apparently, through recruiting ex-criminals and providing them with opportunities could
your company enhance business performance.
14
標題句
Paragraph 6
1.
對商界的好處 3
Last but not least, ex-criminals can provide a capable and competent workforce which is not
inferior to other employees.
2.
詳細解釋
When criminals are put into jail, many of them voluntarily undergo a wide variety of
training to acquire knowledge and skills. For instance, a large number of criminals have
participated in some cooking classes or sewing courses, or even accountancy lessons.
Having taken part in these courses, most of them are equipped with ample knowledge of
different facets of the workplace, rendering them very versatile and capable. In addition,
ex-criminals are also granted subsidies to join vocational training courses by the Employees
Retraining Board or other institutions to enhance their capabilities.
3.
總結句
Thanks to ex-criminals’ relentless pursuit of knowledge and skills, it comes as no surprise
that they are proficient workers.
總結內文
Paragraph 7
1.
總結
Everyone deserves second chances, including ex-criminals and drug addicts. To ensure and
reinforce social harmony, it is of utmost importance for us to lend a compassionate helping
hand to those in need.
2.
期望對方參加計劃
Therefore, we would be very grateful if you could join our scheme and together, we will
make the world a better place.
下款
Yours faithfully,
Chris Wong
Chris Wong
15
HKDSE English 2012 Q9
Learning English through Social Issues
Your school magazine is going to include a special feature on mental health. Recently, one of your friends
was suffering from depression. Write an article for the school magazine about your friend’s depression and
how he/she overcame it. Give advice to others on how to keep fight depression.
Title
Depression – Not the End of the World
(標題)
Paragraph 1
(介紹)
1.
問題背景
Nowadays, many people suffer from mental problems due to long working hours
and hustle-and-bustle lifestyle. Depression is one of the most common mental
disorders in a fast-paced city like Hong Kong. To recover is certainly not a piece
of cake. Nevertheless, there are always ways to alleviate or solve the problem.
2.
簡介全文重點
In this article, I will share with you one of my friends’ battle against depression
and give you some recommendations on how to overcome depression.
標題句
Paragraph 2
1.
(個人經歷)
Six months ago, one of my friends succumbed to depression. No longer was he
interested and motivated in all activities.
2.
面對的困難
He slept in class every day and hoped to evade the approaching public
examination. Losing all confidence in himself, he could only see a gloomy future
and even considered committing suicide. At first, he was reluctant to receive
professional consultation from doctors.
3.
如何解決困難
Nonetheless, with the emotional support from his family and friends, he
eventually recovered after following his doctor’s advice and making much effort.
16
Paragraph 3
(過渡段)
1.
承接上文
From the story of my friend, we can see that depression can be conquered.
2.
開啟下文
In the following, I will give you some useful advice.
Paragraph 4
(建議一)
1.
標題句
To start with, when we are tormented by depression, it is imperative for us to do more
exercise.
2.
個人經歷 + 具體建議
Sadly, the victims of depression often look themselves in a dull room with poor ventilation.
Staying in a confined room only exacerbates their condition. Hence, my friend’s doctor
encouraged him to go out and exercise regularly.
3.
建議好處
Not only did sports strengthen his body, they also enhanced his mental health and helped
him boost his confidence. According to some research results, our brain creates some
substances cheering us up and filling us with energy when playing sports. Therefore, sports
contribute significantly to easing the patient’s stress.
17
Paragraph 5
(建議二)
1.
標題句
In addition, it is vital to get family or friends’ support.
2.
個人經歷 + 具體建議
At that time, often did I talk to my friend and ensure that he was in a good mood. If your
friends are in such a plight, it is important for you to accompany them and let them vent
their frustration and voice their complaints. However, we should bear in mind that we
should not treat them as patients but more like friends for fear that we may hurt their selfesteem.
3.
建議好處
Through communicating and hanging out with the victims of depression frequently will they
have a channel to express their feelings. Feeling our care, they will be more determined and
persistent in overcoming their plight.
Paragraph 6
(總結)
1.
總結全文重點
In conclusion, regular exercise and the encouragement from family and friends are effective
means to ending the misery of depression victims.
2.
表達期望
Nevertheless, we should recognize that the most important cure for depression is the
willpower of the victim. If you are drowning in depression, it is time for you to get yourself
out. Many parties are prepared to stand behind you and give you a hand. Please remember:
depression is not your fault. So stop blaming yourself and hold our hands. With steely
determination and persistence, you will overcome the devil and once again appreciate the
beauty of life.
18
HKDSE English 2013 Q4
Learning English through Social Issues (Letter to a business association)
Many people say that private school bus service operators do not follow proper safety procedures when
dealing with young children and they argue that this may pose a danger. Write a letter to the Bus Operators
Association of Hong Kong to express your concern and give three recommendations for how private school bus
services can be improved.
上款
Dear Sir/Madam,
Paragraph 1
1. 寫信目的
介紹
I am writing to express my discontent and concern over the dangers connected to school
buses.
2. 突出問題嚴重性
The recent gruesome incident in which a child was run over owing to the negligence of a
nanny and bus driver reflects the immense danger posed when private school bus service
operators fail to comply with proper safety procedures.
3.
介紹文章各部份
Hence, as a father myself, I would like to pinpoint some potential hazards and put forward
some possible prescriptions in the hope of safeguarding our youth from this menace.
19
標題句
Paragraph 2
1.
問題 1
To commence with, a prominent yet often overlooked threat is the absence of seat belts on
school buses.
2.
詳細解釋
Alarmingly, some private school bus service operators purchase buses not equipped with
seat belts. Unlike for adults, often are the seats over-sized for toddlers or children and
barely can their tiny hands hold the grips of their seats. In case of a crash, children may end
up being thrown out of their seats in the absence of seat belts, leading to substantial
injuries or even tragic death.
標題句
Paragraph 3
1.
建議 1
The looming problem is too serious to be left unchecked, and therefore concrete actions
have to be taken by the authorities.
2.
詳細解釋
For one, the government can employ some professionals to conduct frequent inspections
of school buses. In addition, stringent punishment and regulations should also be imposed
to deter operators from breaching the laws.
3.
總結句
With proper execution of all these policies, hardly can private school bus companies take
advantage of the loopholes in the system, putting the precious lives of children to jeopardy.
20
標題句
Paragraph 4
1.
問題 2
In addition, another threat relates to the lack of nannies on school buses.
2.
詳細解釋
According to a survey, a nanny is required to take care of thirty pupils at a time on average.
Even a professional child-minder could not attend to every single student, not to mention
an untrained guardian. As a result, some of the children may end up hurting themselves
owing to naughty behaviour like playing hide-and-seek on the bus.
標題句
Paragraph 5
1.
建議 2
Apparently, the antidote to the above predicament is to recruit more nannies.
2.
詳細解釋
Since this may exacerbate the financial burden on operators who in turn real less profit, the
Bus Operators Association could offer some subsidies for private companies employing
more than one nanny for each school bus.
3.
總結句
With sufficient financial assistance, the private operators will be more willing to employ
more nannies to share the workload, thus safeguarding the safety of schoolchildren.
21
標題句
Paragraph 6
1.
問題 3
The last, and probably the most daunting danger is attributed to drivers’ dearth of awareness.
2.
詳細解釋
With most children too short to be noticeable, some drivers may rev up the engine and start
driving without thoroughly inspecting the drop off zone, also known as the danger zone. This is
what one driver had done when he heard a bang, having hit and possibly killed an innocent child
who was in the ways. In the past few years, there have been many records of similar accidents.
For instance, 3 years ago, a student having just got off the bus was hit when it reversed.
3.
總結句
Evidently, the threat is indeed considerable and can be fatal.
標題句
Paragraph 7
1.
建議 3
To remedy this precarious situation, a set of standardized procedures should be followed by
drivers and nannies.
2.
詳細解釋
For example, before starting the bus, the nanny has to get off the bus, making sure the vicinity is
clear. Furthermore, students should be educated to stay well away from the bus as soon as they
get off.
3.
總結句
Through adopting all these precautions could the risk of such accidents be drastically be
reduced.
22
總結內文
Paragraph 8
1.
總結
The danger posed by operators not abiding by regulations can be devastating and deadly.
Therefore, I write to raise concerns and call for immediate actions to protect children who take
school buses from any potential dangers.
2.
期望
Only through the concerted efforts of the government and private bus operators can the
problem be alleviated. I look forward to your reply. Thank you for your attention.
下款
Yours faithfully,
Chris Wong
Chris Wong
23
HKDSE English 2013 Q5
Learning English through debating
Recently, you have heard several people making complaints which you thought were unreasonable. Write a
letter to the editor of the Hong Kong Post about this. In your letter, describe the situation which some people
complained about, outline the point of view of the complainants, and indicate why you think these people are
unreasonable.
上款
Dear Editor
Paragraph 1
1. 寫信目的
介紹
I am writing to express my opinion on a special culture enveloping the city now – the
culture of complaints.
2. 簡介全文內容
In this letter, I wish to describe the situation which I find disturbing, discuss the point of
view of some complainants and justify my viewpoints with regard to this culture.
24
標題句
Paragraph 2
1.
普遍情況
To begin with, it is beyond dispute that Hong Kong people like to complain.
2.
詳細解釋
For many, the culture of complaining is a healthy phenomenon. After all, we should voice
opinions whenever we find things unfair or inappropriate. However, what I would like to
focus on, and what the problem lies in, is that some people complain for the sake of
complaining. In other words, their complaints are far from reasonable.
標題句
Paragraph 3
1.
個別例子
To better illustrate this situation, I would like to recall an incident which has occurred
recently.
2.
詳細解釋
A group of residents in Tin Shui Wai complain about the frogs living in a pond nearby for
disturbing their sleep. In the meantime, another group of property owners complain about
some birds for being too noisy and compromising their quality of life.
3.
總結句  開啟下文
I do not subscribe to their view, but before going into the reasons, we have to consider
what thoughts the complainants hold.
25
標題句
Paragraph 4
1.
投訴理據 1
First and foremost, they believe that they enjoy certain degree of right and thus expressing
their discontent is their basic human right.
2.
詳細解釋
True, being Hong Kong permanent residents, they are entitled to the freedom of speech.
Moreover, they believe that when they find out that some creatures are jeopardizing their
peaceful lives, it is only right for them to stand up and complain. Some might even think
that the right of criticizing others is the core value of Hong Kong which should be
safeguarded at all costs.
標題句
Paragraph 5
1.
投訴理據 2
Another reason that people voice their complaints is that they want to contribute to the
betterment of society.
2.
詳細解釋
From the perspective of the complainants, frogs and birds are annoying and they do nothing
good to the city. Therefore, to enhance the quality of their lives, to beautify the community,
to make Hong Kong a more attractive place, they have to complain and compel the
management to devise plans for improvement. In addition, only through dialing respective
departments and capturing public attention can this lofty goal be accomplished.
26
讓步  承上
Paragraph 6
1.
過渡段
Their rationales seem comprehensible and convincing.
2.
反駁句  啟下
Nevertheless, their claims are just arrogant, misguided and flawed.
標題句
Paragraph 7
1.
指責一
To commence with, they overlook the true meaning of complaining.
2.
詳細解釋
Hong Kong boosts of its comprehensive system for handling complaints. Nonetheless, we
should bear in mind that complaining is for things that conflict public interests, not for
trivial matters like the instincts of frogs and birds. Will people get sick after hearing the
squealing of birds? Not really. And is everyone unhappy about this? The answer is obvious.
3.
總結句
How unreasonable it is for those people to squander time complaining about such trivial
things?
27
標題句
Paragraph 8
1.
指責二
Secondly, they do not respect other stakeholders on the planet.
2.
詳細解釋
Human beings are not the only creature living on the earth. Hence, it is essential for us to
accept the existence of other animals. Never will the environment be a balanced one if animals
are compelled to leave their habitats. In this sense, those self-centered complainants only take
their own interests into account.
3.
總結句
Regrettably, they disregard how much animals mean to the ecosystem and human beings.
標題句
Paragraph 9
1.
指責三
It is equally noteworthy that the behavior of the complainants is ill-conceived and
irresponsible.
2.
詳細解釋
Evidently, they can resort to other methods other than complaining to achieve their goals. Not
only can they install sound-proof devices to filter the noise, they can also listen to soft music
before going to bed with a view to enhancing the quality of their sleep. They can take all sorts
of measures to mitigate their problems.
3.
總結句
Unfortunately, they have chosen the most irresponsible alternative, to force others to handle
the problem.
28
總結內文
Paragraph 10
2.
總結
All in all, I do not insist that we should never complain. Nevertheless, the notion that we
should complain whenever we are offended and dissatisfied is surely unhealthy.
3.
期望
Only when Hongkongers understand the significance of respect and tolerance can Hong Kong
become a truly harmonious place.
下款
Yours faithfully,
Chris Wong
Chris Wong
Content
6/7
6/7
Language
6/7
7/7
Organization
6/7
6/7
Total
18/21
19/21
37/42 (5**)
29
HKDSE English 2013 Q6
Learning English through Workplace Communication (article)
You are a human resources assistant. Your boss has observed that many people are leaving the office very
late. He has asked you to write an article for the company newsletter describing the situation and discussing
the negative effects. You have also been asked to give two suggestions to improve the situation. Provide a
suitable title for your article.
標題
Paragraph 1
(寫作目的)
Think Twice Before You Act
4.
背景介紹
Going to work is sometimes demanding and challenging. We are given a wide variety of
tasks every day and are so responsible that we urge ourselves to complete the tasks
before the deadline.
5.
開啟下文
Yet, leaving the office very late is never a sensible option for us. There are some negative
effects we should consider carefully.
Paragraph 2
(影響一)
2.
標題句
To start with, leaving the office late would deprive us of the valuable time gathering with
our loved ones.
3.
詳細解釋論點
There is no denying that your career is of paramount significance and so you should rank
your job on top of everything else. However, apart from your job, there are still many
priceless elements which are worthy of your attention. Through having gatherings with
your family or friends, not only could you consolidate your relationship with them, but
you could also share your sorrow and glee with them. You could take this opportunity to
breathe a sigh of relief. On the contrary, if you miss these chances, you may face much
pressure and even lose your incentive to work due to monotonous routine. Worse still,
you may find your life meaningless since you toil every day, from dawn to bed time.
3.
影響
This negative effect is actually quite far-reaching and we should therefore think twice
before we act.
30
Paragraph 3
(影響二)
1.
標題句
Secondly, apart from the dreadful impact of the lack of social gatherings, leaving
office late would contribute to worsening health condition.
2.
詳細解釋論點
Physically, your neck or hands would be in pain if you work for too long. It is often
reported that many employees suffer from occupational illnesses due to excessive
workload. What’s more, leaving office late means delaying the time for dinner. It is of
utmost importance to have diet on time, according to professional physicians. With
ever-changing eating schedule, our stomach and other internal organs will be
adversely affected.
3.
影響
Thus, not only does leaving office late hinder your social life, this also exacerbates
your health condition.
Paragraph 4
(承接上文，開
啟下文)
1.
有鑑於上述問題，提出以下建議
To deal with this problem, I would like to have two friendly reminders for all of you. I
hope you will find them useful.
31
Paragraph 5
(建議一)
1.
標題句
To prevent ourselves leaving the office too late, all of the colleagues should have more
cooperation so as to speed up the work process.
2.
建議的具體實施方法
First and foremost, we should have a clear plan of dividing the tasks precisely and
allocating the specific tasks to different colleagues. Tasks should be allocated according
to one’s strengths and weaknesses. This process is crucial since it can reduce the chance
of having duplication of work.
3.
建議成效
Through having clear division of labour can we work efficiently and enjoy the synergy
effect. To be sure, we can have smoother operation and leave the office punctually
without delaying the work process.
Paragraph 6
(建議二)
1.
標題句
Another suggestion is that each department can hold more regular meetings.
2.
建議的具體實施方法
In the meeting, colleagues can report their process in order to ensure the tasks are on
schedule. By reviewing the schedule, encouragement can also be given so that every
employee will have more working incentives. In the meantime, corrective measures can
be taken if anything goes wrong.
3.
總結句，強調建議可解決問題
Through organizing regular and productive evaluation meetings can we enhance the
working efficiency of colleagues, thereby preventing unnecessary overtime work.
32
Paragraph 7
(總結)
1. 總結超時工作的禍害
To conclude, leaving the office late will jeopardize our relationship with our loved ones
and aggravate our health.
2.
強調建議有助解決問題
Hopefully, with further collaboration and productive evaluation meetings, our working
processes will be streamlined and our workload will be lightened.
3.
用積極正面的語氣作結
You are never alone. We are a team, helping the company to achieve goals and maximize
profit. Thus, support is available all the time if you are in need. Feel free to seek help
from your colleagues and do remember to think twice before your act and not to leave
the office too late.
Marker 1
Marker 2
Content
7
6
Language
6
6
Organization
7
7
Total Score
39/42 (5**)
33
HKDSE English 2013 Q7
Learning English through Popular Culture (article)
Asian singers and movie stars are gaining popularity all over the world and are no longer appealing only to
Asian audiences. Write an article for your school newspaper explaining why Asian stars are gaining popularity
in Western countries. Give your article a title.
標題
Western Hall of Fame – The Asian Factor
Paragraph 1
1. 背景介紹
開場白
The Western show business industry, also known as ‘showbiz’, has always been an arena of
cut-throat competition. One has to be the crème de la crème to even get a shot at making
a mark on this Western hall of fame. One may say that it is hard, if not possible, for Asians
to stride into the Western spotlight. Nevertheless, the truth says otherwise. At present,
there are myriads of sensational Asian stars, including Li Bing Bing and Kim Soo Hyun
enjoying the shimmering spotlight in the West.
2. 簡介全文內容
But to what can that be attributed? Are there some sorts of mystical Asian factors that
contribute to their tremendous success? Let’s put on our Sherlock Holmes hat and embark
on a journey to find out the reasons behind their fame.
34
標題句
Paragraph 2
2.
原因 1
When it comes to seeking and sustaining fame, technology definitely plays a significant role.
3.
詳細解釋
In bygone days, stars were usually restricted by their geographical location. It was
insurmountable for Asian stars to gain popularity internationally as they could not
conveniently commute to other places. Nonetheless, with the advancement of
transportation technology, Asians can economically and easily fly to the West in pursuit of
fame nowadays. For instance, Girls’ Generation, one of the most popular female music
groups in Asia, could perform at the Madison Square Garden in New York. Furthermore,
the advancement of Internet technology has also boosted the popularity of Asian stars. A
spate of Asian music videos films is now uploaded to the Internet and watched all over the
globe. Our Western counterparts can watch Jay Chou or Super Junior’s performances by
simply clicking a few buttons.
4.
總結句
Thanks to the evolving transportation and communication technology, it comes as no
surprise that Asians cam be shot to fame, not only locally and regionally, but also
internationally.
35
標題句
Paragraph 3
1.
原因 2
It is also worth noting that the prevalence of Asian cultures has paved the way for many
Asian stars’ road to stardom.
2.
詳細解釋
In the contemporary world, more and more Westerners are captivated by the kaleidoscopic
Asian cultures, including the Chinese culture, the Japanese culture and the Korean culture.
For instance, the number of people learning traditional martial arts like Kung Fu or
Taekwondo has been surging in recent years. Owing to this phenomenon, martial arts
movie stars such as Jackie Chan, Jet Li and Donnie Yen have captured the hearts and
minds of a swarm of foreign admirers. Also, more and more Western people are
celebrating Chinese and Japanese traditional festivals. With this Asian cultural beam
sweeping all over the West, more Westerns are enticed by Asian cultures and eager to
watch Asian movies and listen to Asian music.
3.
總結句
With the soaring popularity of Asian cultures, it is no wonder Asian stars can thrive in the
global arena.
36
標題句
Paragraph 4
1.
原因 3
Another Asian factor contributory to the spectacular success of Asian stars is the
uniqueness and creativity of Asian cultures.
2.
詳細解釋
According to an interview on the hit show ‘Fine Bros’, many Westerns actually deem Asian
movies or music as unorthodox and refreshing. In Asia, especially Korean and Japan, the
music is brisk and vibrant. Besides, the majority of music videos in Korea feature fastpaced dancing by bands or groups which are less common in the West. Singles like
‘Gangnam style’ have gone viral and stars including PSY and groups like AKB48, A-Pink and
Exo have become celebrated sensations in the international arena.
3.
總結句
With the originality and vibrancy of Asian music cultures, many Asians have managed to
make the headlines on the showbiz pages in the West and attract millions of fans in the
globe.
37
總結全文內容
Paragraph 5
1.
總結
Thanks to the omnipresent tentacles of globalization and the advancement of technology,
Asian singers and movie stars have penetrated every corner of the world and gained global
popularity.
2.
未來展望
Hopefully, the rise of the Asian showbiz will lead to the diversification of global popular
cultures, adding spice to our lives and bringing merriment to all of us.
38
HKDSE English 2014 Q2 (Letter to a fitness centre – requesting for donation of equipment)
Learning English through Sports Communication
A local fitness centre is being renovated. As the chairperson of your school’s Sports Club, write a letter to ask
the fitness centre to donate some of their old equipment to your school. In your letter, describe how the
donation could benefit your school and the fitness centre.
上款
Dear Sir/Madam,
Paragraph 1
1. 寫信目的 + 代表機構
開場白
I am writing on behalf of the Sports Club to request for your kind donation of old equipment
to our school.
2. 強調捐助器材能達至雙贏
Through your donation, both your fitness centre and our students could be benefited.
39
Paragraph 2
1. 標題句
對健身中心的好 The advantages of the donation for your fitness centre are manifold. The first and foremost
處1
advantage is the elimination of disposal or storage problems.
2. 詳細解釋好處
With the renovation of your centre, the old equipment is no longer in use and I believe it
would be either stored in the centre or disposed at a landfill. The storage of obsolete
equipment occupies space while disposal requires tremendous disposal cost and
transportation fee, which will adversely affect the operation and profit of the fitness centre.
However, if some of the old equipment is donated to our school, there is no need to worry
about the troublesome storage and disposal issues.
3. 總結句
Apparently, it would be a much more convenient way to get rid of the unwanted
equipment, hence benefiting your fitness centre.
Paragraph 3
1. 標題句
對健身中心的好
The donation of the old equipment is not only beneficial to the operation of the fitness
處2
centre, but also its corporate image.
2. 詳細解釋好處
In recent years, reputable corporations, such as MTR Corporation, McDonald’s and Café de
Coral have made regular donations and organized charitable events, thereby creating a
positive image. If your centre kindly donates the equipment to our school, a certificate of
donation will be given to it and this can illustrate that your centre spares no pains to
shoulder corporate social responsibility.
3. 總結句
To be sure, better corporate reputation will attract more customers and enhance the
profitability of your centre.
40
Paragraph 4
1. 承上啟下
過渡段
Not only will the donation benefit your fitness centre, but also our school in many aspects.
Paragraph 5
1. 標題句
對學校的好處 1
With your generous donation, the wide variety of sports equipment for students would
encourage students to exercise.
2. 詳細解釋好處
In our school, apart from the members of the Sports Club, teachers and students have the
right to use those facilities only during lunchtime and recess. Currently, due to the lack of
different sports facilities, students are not keen on exercising at school. Nevertheless, if your
fitness centre donates the equipment to us, it will attract students to participate in different
sports activities. Hence, our school’s aim – to enhance students’ in sports – can be achieved.
Another point to be noted is that students might want to use those facilities after school.
Thus, they may visit your fitness centre, which is next to our school. Ultimately, your centre
will benefit too.
3. 總結句
It is crystal clear that your donation would allow students and teachers to enjoy a wide
range of sports equipment, thus promoting sports culture in our school.
Paragraph 6
1. 標題句
對學校的好處 2
Another benefit is that the health of students can be enhanced.
2. 詳細解釋好處
As the future pillars of society, it is all the more important for students to pursue all-round
development. Unfortunately, our school lacks the resources to achieve this goal. With the
donation, students can use the equipment to promote their physical health, which will in
turn promote concentration on studies so that students can learn effectively. What is more,
Endorphin, which is a chemical enhancing happiness, is released during exercise using the
equipment. As students, we often feel the undue pressure in studying and are sometimes
suffocated by the stress arising from tests and examinations.
3. 總結句
Nonetheless, with the equipment, students will have more chances to release their stress
through exercising, promoting their physical health.
41
Paragraph 7
1. 總結好處
總結
To sum up, the donation of the old equipment can benefit both the fitness centre and our
school.
2. 懇請對方捐出器材
We would be appreciative and thankful for your kind donation. If you have any enquiries,
please do not hesitate to contact us. We really look forward to your favourable reply.
下款
Yours faithfully,
Chris Wong
Chris Wong
Chairperson of the Sports Club
Content
6/7
6/7
Language
6/7
6/7
Organization
6/7
6/7
Total
18/21
18/21
36/42 (5*)
42
HKDSE English 2014 Q4 (One-sided argumentative essay)
Learning English through Social Issues
Some people believe that filming movies in the city centre should not be allowed. Others support it. Write a
letter to the editor of the Hong Kong Daily giving your opinions. Provide three reasons to support your point of
view.
上款
Dear Editor
Paragraph 1
1. 寫信目的
開場白
I am writing to express my views on movie filming in the city centre.
2. 概述相反觀點
In view of the recent hot debates on this controversial issue, I understand that there are still
many concerns and worries about it.
3. 明確表明觀點
However, after considering the interests of citizens, our city’s development and the need of
promoting our local culture, I believe it is advisable for the government to give the green
light to the idea.
43
Paragraph 2
1. 標題句
論點 1
To commence with, many Hong Kongers are movie fanatics and they would like movies to
be filmed in the city centre, which is symbolic and meaningful to them.
2. 詳細解釋
Apparently, watching a story taking place in a location familiar to them is a fascinating idea.
Sad to say, the local cinemas are dominated by foreign movies like Hollywood films and
Korean films. The reason why local movies are lagging behind is that the sites where their
filming is carried out are not realistic and attractive enough to draw attention of the local
audience.
To enable local movies to capture the hearts and minds of Hong Kong people, allowing
movies to be filmed in the city centre is necessary without a shadow of doubt. When films
are shot at distinctive local landmarks, like the IFC Tower in Central and the Clock Tower in
Tsim Sha Tsui, local residents will be more eager to watch them.
3. 總結句
Having a strong sense of belonging to the city, many Hong Kongers will proudly tell the
foreigners that our city has our own films too!
44
Paragraph 3
1. 標題句
論點 2
It is also worth noting that allowing filming in the city centre can boost the movie industry
and consolidate the sustainable development of the Hong Kong economy.
2. 詳細解釋
As everyone knows, Hong Kong is a cosmopolitan city recognized as a significant
international financial centre. Other than the financial industry, however, Hong Kong’s
development in other industries leaves a lot to be desired. Arguably, the overemphasis on
finance is detrimental to the sustainable development of Hong Kong.
For the sake of diversifying the local economy, it is essential for the cultural industry to be
promoted. While the government may find it difficult to conserve the cultural heritage
owing to limited land supply, it should do its utmost to facilitate the growth of the film
industry. Through promoting Hollywood movies can the USA earn billions of dollars every
year. In the same vein, the Hong Kong government should accelerate the development of
the local movie industry by allowing filming to take place in the city centre.
4. 總結句
In the long run, the Hong Kong economy will benefit immensely from the blossoming movie
industry.
45
Paragraph 4
1. 標題句
論點 3
Furthermore, local movies filmed in the city centre can attract the attention of foreigners
and promote the development of tourism.
2. 詳細解釋
Through watching our movies, foreign people will be able to capture the breathtaking
scenery of our city centre, ranging from the magnificent night view of the Victoria Harbour
to the dazzling street culture of Mong Kok. Besides, they can have a glimpse of the lifestyle
of Hong Kong people. When local movies featuring the beautiful places of Hong Kong are
circulated overseas, more and more foreigners will be galvanized to visit Hong Kong so that
they can understand more about our city, stimulating our tourist industry and bringing
enormous economic benefits to us.
3. 總結句
Through allowing movies to be filmed in the city centre, not only will Hong Kong enjoy
sustainable economic growth, our local culture and custom will also be promoted.
46
Paragraph 5
1. 承接上文
駁論
As aforementioned, filming movies in the city centre can stimulate the development of tourism
and sustain local economic growth.
2. 相反觀點
Some people may put forward the idea that filming movies in the city centre would create
disturbance for citizens, affecting the normal operation of our city.
3. 讓步
Undeniably, this may be true in some cases.
5. 反駁句
Nonetheless, we should recognize that the effects are temporary.
6. 詳細解釋
It is worth remembering that the shooting of local movies are often carried out for short
duration, for example, for one to two weeks. More importantly, as a responsible government
and citizens who truly love Hong Kong and safeguard the interests of Hong Kong, they should
place the city’s long-term prosperity at the top of the priority list. If filming is allowed in the
city centre, the movie industry and hence the tourist industry will become the pillars of the
Hong Kong economy, sustaining our economic development in the long run.
7. 總結句
Surely, the tremendous economic benefits brought by filming in the city centre will
significantly outweigh the short-term pain suffered from by local citizens.
47
Paragraph 6
1. 總結論點
結論
Judging from the above aspects, it is crystal clear that allowing filming in the city centre
does more good than harm to Hong Kong.
2. 諒解市民疑;慮
While I understand that the government has to strike a balance between development and
citizens’ interests, everyone can rest assured that promoting our filming industry will benefit
citizens in the long run. It is definitely going to be a blessing for all.
3. 對未來的期盼
So why still hesitate? Let’s take swift action now to allow filming movies in the city centre. I
am looking forward to seeing the blossoming of the local movie industry and watching local
movies that can showcase the beauty of Hong Kong to the world.
下款
Yours faithfully,
Chris Wong
Content
7/7
6/7
Language
7/7
6/7
Organization
6/7
6/7
Total
20/21
18/21
38/42 (5**)
48
HKDSE English 2014 Q5 (Letter to the principal)
Learning English through debating Currently, only a small number of students in your school have access to school
lockers. As the chairperson of the Student Union of your school, you have collected the views of students from
different classes on this issue. Write a letter to Ms Lee, your school Principal, to persuade her to change the policy
on lockers.
範例 1
上款
Dear Ms Lee,
Paragraph 1
1. 寫信目的 + 代表機構
介紹
I am writing to venture my opinion on the policy on lockers on behalf of the Student Union.
2. 概述問題
Recently, we have collected the views of schoolmates of different classes on the issue of
allowing only few schoolmates to have access to school lockers. After analyzing the views
collected, it can be concluded that most schoolmates are opposed to such a policy.
3. 表達期望
We hope that the school can change the policy on lockers owing to convenience and fairness.
49
Paragraph 2
1. 標題句
理據 1
To commence with, changing the policy on lockers can bring convenience to all
schoolmates.
2. 詳細解釋
Every day, all schoolmates need to carry a large pile of textbooks, the weight of which is too
heavy even for an adult, let alone a teenager with underdeveloped muscles. Regarding
junior form students, they have multiple Physical Education lessons and Home Economics
lessons every week. The tools, the materials and the uniform involved result in schoolmates
carrying two to three handbags, in addition to their schoolbags. Other than the great
inconvenience caused to junior form schoolmates, their senior form counterparts also
suffer. With a view to preparing for the HKDSE, many senior form students have to attend
supplementary lessons at school and extra lessons at tutorial centres. We can imagine how
clumsy it is for a teenager to carry a heavy school bag and two environmentally-friendly
handbags packed with teaching materials and rush to the MTR station nearby after school.
Apparently, the burden that schoolmates shoulder is unbearable.
3. 總結句
Changing the policy on lockers will definitely making going to school more convenient for
schoolmates and alleviate the aforementioned problems.
50
Paragraph 3
1. 標題句
理據 2
In addition to convenience, impartiality is essential, if not indispensable, concerning the
locker policy.
2. 詳細解釋
Due to the fact that only the athletes representing the sports teams of the school can have
access to school lockers, they are considered superior in other schoolmates’ eyes. According
to the views collected, many schoolmates aired their grievances about the favouritism of
teachers towards the athletes regarding their exclusive right to use the school lockers. Not
being equally treated, many students have developed a sense of inferiority and hatred
towards the elite athletes. Not only will this phenomenon jeopardize normal schoolmates’
self-esteem, the harmonious atmosphere of the school will be destroyed given the great
discontent towards the athletes.
3. 總結句
In a bid to rectify the above problems, changing the policy on lockers to allow access by all
schoolmates is crucial as it can uphold the fairness and equality in our school.
51
Paragraph 4
1. 相反觀點
駁論
Some teachers may claim that changing the locker policy will lead to chaos when all
students gather around lockers for taking out various textbooks and materials prior to the
commencement of lessons.
2. 讓步
Undeniably, it may take our schoolmates some time to get their textbooks from the lockers.
3. 反駁句
Nevertheless, we should recognize that this will not necessarily lead to chaos as long as
students are disciplined.
4. 詳細解釋
With the courteous attitude of all of our schoolmates, we believe they are self-disciplined
enough to line up in an orderly manner when getting their personal belongings from the
lockers. On condition that the lockers are designed systematically according to schoolmates’
class numbers and the location of their seats, the whole process will be smooth. It is also
worth remembering that there is a 10-minute interval between each lesson. Evidently, the
adequate time available for our students will prevent chaos.
5. 總結句
Therefore, changing the school policy on lockers will not disrupt the normal operation of
our school.
52
Paragraph 5
1. 總結理據
結論
To conclude, equal access to lockers can provide our schoolmates with convenience and
ensure that every student is treated impartially regardless of their capabilities.
2.
期望改變政策
Hence, we sincerely hope that the school can address the concerns of schoolmates by
changing the policy on lockers and create a more favourable environment for all of us.
Yours sincerely,
Chris Wong
Chris Wong
Chairperson of the Student Union
Content
7/7
7/7
Language
7/7
6/7
Organization
7/7
6/7
Total
21/21
19/21
40/42 (5**)
53
範例 2
上款
Dear Ms Lee,
Paragraph 1
1. 寫信目的
介紹
I am writing to refer to you some of the views and suggestions that we have recently
collected from our fellow schoolmates in regard to the use of school lockers.
2. 希望校方改變政策
After an in-depth analysis of their opinion, we conclude that it is advisable for the school to
reconsider the policy on lockers.
簡述流弊
Paragraph 2
1.
政策流弊
Currently, the school lockers are available for sports teams only. We understand that they
have a spate of sports equipment that must be stored at school, but our fellow schoolmates
have similar needs too.
2.
開啟下文分析
Hence, I propose that school lockers should be made available to all students, based on the
following reasons.
54
Paragraph 3
1. 標題句
理據 1
To commence with, the health risk associated with carrying a heavy bag every day is
immense.
2. 詳細解釋
Due to the tightly-packed schedule, many of our students are carrying over eight textbooks
on their back on every school day, not to mention other necessities like dictionaries, water
bottles and reference books. Medical experts have pointed out that carrying heavy objects on
one’s back will lead to health problems on our vertebral column, like backache. To add adult
to injury, junior form students are going through puberty and excessive burden on their back
will jeopardize their physical growth.
3. 總結句
To prevent the aforementioned health risks, it is necessary for the school to change the
locker policy and allow more students to have access to lockers.
55
Paragraph 4
1. 標題句
理據 2
Apart from the health of students, the notion that every sport team needs access to a large
number of lockers is questionable.
2. 詳細解釋
There is no denying that teams like the basketball team and the soccer team comprise dozens
of players and they definitely require more lockers to store their bulky equipment.
Nonetheless, it is worth noting that some of the teams may not be using the lockers very
often. For instance, the table tennis team does not have bulky equipment like footballs and
basketballs and most of the members bring their rackets home so that they can practise
during weekends. Seldom are their lockers occupied. Apparently, this is tantamount to
wastage of precious resources and it is not necessary for these teams to possess individual
lockers.
3. 總結句
Hence, we suggest that the idle lockers should be allocated to other students who are in
desperate need.
56
Paragraph 5
1. 相反觀點
駁論
It is understandable that the school is concerned about the drawbacks associated with the
public use of lockers.
2. 讓步
Undeniably, there might be irresponsible students abusing the use of school lockers, such as
storing their mobile phones inside the lockers or even damage the lockers.
3. 反駁句
Nonetheless, the school can take measures to prevent these problems instead of
prohibiting students from using the lockers.
4. 詳細解釋
For example, the school can reach an agreement with students, clearly stipulating clear
guidelines of properly using the lockers and setting a list of items that are forbidden.
Furthermore, the school can also clearly state that students who damage the lockers must
pay for the reconstruction of the lockers and will be disallowed from using them again.
5. 總結句
Through implementing these measures can the problem of locker abuse be prevented and
more students can enjoy the benefits of using the lockers.
57
Paragraph 6
1. 總結理據
結論
Safeguarding the health of our fellow schoolmates is of paramount significance and it is
feasible for the school to reallocate the idle lockers to the students in need.
2.
期望改變政策
Therefore, we genuinely hope that the school would accept our proposal and come up with
a new locker policy that can benefit all of our schoolmates.
Yours sincerely,
Chris Wong
Chris Wong
Chairperson of the Student Union
Content
7/7
6/7
Language
6/7
6/7
Organization
7/7
6/7
Total
20/21
18/21
38/42 (5**)