I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry
why can’t I stop?
My hands keep moving as if I want more
It feels as natural as feeling heat from the earth’s core
I pool more toward me as it leaks out
its dripping down my body as if it was surrounding me
with a childish giddy I lay back and think
it’s so warm
it’s so warm
**
This relationship was never meant to be
we don’t get along, or so it seems
throwing things to try and get a score
but neither of us ever settle with more
only to see the big figures come and tuck us away
to turn the lights off and seal our lives today
**
its dark
but you see the light under the door
and hear the voices that travel through the floor
you roll over to see it defenseless
and almost as if time has stopped
you feel a sense of calm and reach out
***
what’s so alluring about a sleeping face?
you could have used a mace
Just close your eyes and aim at the face
loved them, argued, played, laughed
in the end they are all the same
my hand would naturally flow into their face
but I suddenly stop
Not if a voice had told me to
But as if the voice that would normally tell me to stop has gone
and my thumb pushed in
further and further
I saw it go in
further and further
to see it pop out
Further and further
And what started as a playful evening
into a peaceful night
So quickly, so abruptly
Was broken into screams of terror
**
It’s cold
not just the body but also the heart
as if it was an empty metal vase
So, to feel the vase that was once empty and cold
without feeling or aspirations
suddenly filling up with warmth and life
to see it bring its first goal
a hope, a dream to maintain it
to have more, to see more
to feel more
***
What follows the screams?
I’ll say
It’s the sounds of a stampede running up the stairs
The once slow creeks the old house made turned into roars
But who was more frightened than I?
I always wondered
what’s more frightening to them?
hearing the screams go on?
or hearing them finally stop?
you see them burst into the room that was once so loud
but it’s quiet, it’s dark
as they walk in, to finally see me
sitting there gathering the pool closer to me
trying to keep it all near
with blood dripping down from place to place
I turn with a wide grin on my face
and whisper
"it’s warm"