Noreen O’ Donnell
Active listening: A valuable skill in the childcare sector
This essay will focus on the topic of active listening to a child. Several areas which will be
highlighted are; defining different types of active listening with the focus being on active
listening, comparing listening and active listening to a child, why active listening is important
and how to improve on our active listening skills when working with children. Following a
conclusion an evaluation on active listening will highlight the advantages and barriers to active
listening. I will also reflect on my experience of active listening while doing my work experience
in the childcare sector.
In life, being a good communicator is an important skill. However, many communications
experts agree that poor listening skills are the biggest barrier to poor communication. The skill of
really listening to children is a vital tool for improving communication with them in the childcare
industry. This in turn can vastly improve our relationship with the children in our care. There are
four basic types of listening listed below and I will look at them in the context of communicating
with a child in a childcare setting:
 Inactive listening: you hear what the child is saying but your mind is thinking of
something else, e.g. “what will I do next with the children?” Therefore, no meaningful
communication can take place between the child and you.
 Selective listening: In this type of listening you only hear what you want to hear. You
hear some of the information the child may be telling you but begin to formulate your
reply in your mind. You can also second guess and interrupt the child without waiting for
them to finish.
 Reflective Listening: this is active listening to a child, but you go a step further and
clarify what the child is trying to relate to you. You ensure there is a mutual
understanding of the message between you and the child.
 Active listening: you listen attentively to the child. You concentrate on the content of the
message but also the intent. What emotional meaning is the child trying to convey? You
try to block out barriers {e.g. loud noises, music} to listening to the child. You do not
judge the child and are empathetic.
Although, active listening was a term coined by Rogers and Farson (1957) in a paper for
communicating in business, the foundations of active listening are in psychology and apply to all
scenarios in life. One could even contend that active listening in the childcare sector is extremely
important as it establishes the skills of mindfully listening at an early stage of childhood. These
skills can then be carried throughout a lifetime. Active listening in the childcare sector would be
the process by which one obtains information from the child or group of children. The active
element would involve taking steps to draw out details that might otherwise not be shared. The
childcare worker avoids interrupting at all costs, may summarize and repeat back what they have
heard. They may also observe body language to give them an extra level of understanding.
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Active listening to a child could be described as mindfully listening to understand the meaning
and the emotion behind a child’s message.
How is Actively listening to a child any different than listening to a child? Let us examine the
evidence. The following incident occurred while I was on work placement recently.
Danny who is 4 years old approached me in the outdoor play area of the playschool. His head
was down, his shoulders slumped, and he said in a quiet voice “Bobby is on the green tractor and
I want it. He says he won’t get off it for me, but I want that tractor, he is on that ages. I want the
green tractor with the trailer but.” I was looking down at Danny and interrupted him while he
was speaking. I said, “Bobby was on the green tractor first Danny, go on the red tractor.”
I listened to Danny here and offered a solution, but Danny was still sad and tried to push Bobby
off the tractor and the two children end up fighting. This conflict could have been avoided if I
had actively listened. Let us look at how this scenario could have turned out if I actively listened.
Danny approaches me with his head down and shoulders slumped. I bend down to his eye level.
He tells me his dilemma. In this scenario I listen attentively and observe Danny’s body language.
I do not interrupt Danny and I garner more information. Danny prefers the green tractor because
there is a trailer attached to it. There is no trailer attached to the red tractor. I also get down to
Danny’s eye level showing him I am interested and attentive to what he is saying. I say to him “I
am sorry Danny that you are sad. I know that you love the green tractor and trailer. Could you
use the red tractor for me until Bobby gets off the green tractor? I will tell Bobby that I am
getting the timer and setting it and he must let you have a turn when the timer runs out. Is that ok
with you Danny?” Danny smiles, grabs my hand, and walks me to the play school to get the
timer. In this scenario the active listening is obvious, I paraphrase the message Danny is telling
me but also how he feels about it. I get down to Danny’s level, so he feels listened to and
respected. Danny’s feelings were validated. This avoided further conflicts between Danny and
Bobby.
Therefore, the difference between listening and active listening may be best described as
listening is hearing some of the message but not listening truly to its content. Active listening is
hearing the message, empathising with the meaning and feelings of the message, and making the
child feel respected, mindfully listened to and feelings validated.
Why is active listening so important in the Childcare sector/?
Active listening is an extremely valuable tool in the childcare toolbox. Active listening is a
conscious effort that demands empathy, effort, attention, and lots of practice. {www.gift of life
institute.org/the importance of active listening}. Mindfully listening to a child is a vital tool for
establishing a connection between the childcare worker and the child. It allows for messages/
information to be relayed completely and properly. There is little or no room for
misunderstanding or error. Active listening aids in the development of better speaking skills for
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the children. They learn to communicate calmly and more effectively by observing and mirroring
the skill of active listening being used by the childcare worker. Active listening encourages a
positive environment for children to thrive in. They feel accepted, listened to and their feelings
validated. This builds trust between the child and the childcare worker, leading to a better and
stronger relationship with each other. It promotes more positive, engaging interactions and
reactions.
As a childcare worker there are some ways, we can improve our active listening skills. To
become an active listener takes patience and practice. We should follow the following protocols
to help improve our active listening skills.




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Get down on a child’s level and maintain eye contact.
Keep an open mind, do not judge.
Listen carefully, do not interrupt. Wait for the child to finish before responding.
Summarize what the child has said.
Only ask clarifying questions.
Try to feel what the child feels. Pay attention to the body language, tone of voice: 80%
of communication is nonverbal.
 Offer solutions to the child only if the situation warrants it. Let the child come to a
resolution themselves if possible.
In conclusion, when we listen carefully/mindfully we grow as a person too. We learn to become
more accepting of the child’s point of view. We become more understanding and more focused
on what a child is saying. We leave our judgements and bias aside. However, we are not the only
people to change and grow. The child does too. They feel listened to, their feelings recognised.
They feel respected and accepted. This in turn creates an environment for positive
communication where everyone feels their views and feelings are important. Therefore, active
listening must be seriously considered one of the most important skills to master when working
in the childcare industry.
There are many benefits to active listening in the childcare sector. It avoids misunderstanding as
staff must confirm what the child has said. It also aids in children opening more. Active listening
shows the children what empathy is and builds on relationships.
While there are many advantages to active listening there are also many barriers that can prevent
it from happening. There are external barriers such as loud noises, background noise, clutter, and
interruptions. There is also internal barrier within the listener themselves. The listener may judge
because of past experiences, prejudices, assumptions, attitudes and values and personality traits.
From my experience, through my work placement in my local play school I can say that active
listening daily to each child is quite a challenging task. It may appear easy, but it is not. There
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are constant interruptions, loud noises and background noises that make it difficult to concentrate
on the child’s message. There is also the fact that as a childcare worker you are juggling a lot of
tasks and your mind may be full of pressures and time constraints that cloud your ability to
mindfully listen. You may be hurrying a child’s message along, interrupting them just to get to
the next child or task. Also because of our own upbringings we all have our prejudices and
values which are quite difficult to leave aside at times. It is quite easy to make assumptions
which influence how we listen and respond to everybody not just the children in our care.
The benefits to both child and childcare workers who actively listen are clear, but this is not a
skill innate in humans.
Confucius {557B.C – 479B.C} said: “Smart people talk while wise people listen.” Confucius
recognised we learn more from listening than talking. Now is the time to really listen to each
other, in this busy and hectic world. We especially need to listen mindfully to the children we
care for, the next generation.
Bibliography:
Books:
Choose your words; communicating with young children.2nd edition. Carol Gorhart Mooney.
Redleaf press. Page 79 – 87
Communicating in Business today.
RG. Neuman, M.A DAncingee, M- Cohen {EDs}. D>D Health Company 1987.
The lost art of listening. How learning to listen can improve relationships.2nd edition 2007. Page
90- 99, 254 -257,307 - 308
Michael P. Nichols, PHD
Websites:
https:// www.forbes,com/effective listening.
https://earlychildhoodnews.com/early childhood article
https://www.mindtools.com/communicationskill/mind
Notes:
Chevron class note 2018/ 2019
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