Tammy Mastroberte is the founder of Elevated Existence LLC and the
publisher of the Clarion and Folio Award–winning Elevated Existence
Magazine . She regularly hosts online and in-person workshops and
releases weekly YouTube videos teaching a range of body/mind/spirit
topics. Tammy was a featured expert in the films Dream Big and The
Truth About Prosperity , and she has been a guest on a number of radio
shows, including the Suzanne Northrup Show and Awakenings . Tammy
lives in New Jersey.
Copyright Information
The Universe Is Talking to You: Tap into Signs & Synchronicity
to Reveal Magical Moments Every Day © 2020 by Tammy
Mastroberte.
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To Mom
Thank you for the unconditional love you gave me while here
in this physical world and that you continue to give from the
other side. Your communication through signs, mediums, and
any other way you can find to get through to me never ceases
to amaze me. Thank you for teaching me the truth about life
after your death. I could not have written this book without
you. This is for you, my co-author in spirit, until we meet again.
Content s
List of Exercises
Acknowledgments
Introduction
Part 1 : An Introduction to Signs & Synchronicity
Chapter 1 How My Mother Taught Me the Truth About Life After Her
Death
Chapter 2 The Magic of Signs & Synchronicity
Chapter 3 Spotting Synchronicity
Chapter 4 Signs Everywhere
Chapter 5 Taming the Chaos
Part 2 : Five Steps to Ignite the Flow
Chapter 6 Step 1: Setting Your Intention
Chapter 7 Step 2: Saying Yes
Chapter 8 Steps 3 & 4: Notice and Capture
Chapter 9 Step 5: Reach a Higher Vibration
Chapter 10 Clearing the Blocks
It’s Not the End
Appendix 1 : A Synced-Up Day
Appendix 2 : A Higher Help Guide
Bibliography
Exercises
To shift your conscious and subconscious mind:
A Mindset Shift
Prayers for Higher Help
To begin uncovering synchronicities:
My Life Timeline
To jumpstart receiving signs:
Assign a Sign
To come back to the present moment:
The 60-Second Retreat
For grounding your energy:
Belly Breathing
Mindful Walking
Engage with Nature
Earthing
Essential Oils
Legs Up the Wall Yoga Pose
Crystals
Crown Chakra Reset
Earth Energy Meditation
For protecting and cleansing your energy:
The Shield
For setting your intention to receive signs:
The Turning Point Prayer
The Morning Prayer
To find synchronicities in your past:
Follow the Footsteps
To find signs and synchronicities each day:
Replay Your Day
To elevate and boost your vibration:
3-Minute Mood Boost
Infuse It with Joy
Kirtan Kriya Meditation
The Reconnection Visualization
Clearing the Air
To test the vibration of food and beverages:
Muscle Testing with a Partner
Self Muscle Testing
To uncover limiting beliefs blocking signs:
Muscle Testing Beliefs with a Partner
Self Muscle Testing Beliefs
To clear limiting beliefs:
Tapping Doubt Away
Clearing with Ho’oponopono
To open awareness:
Crystals to Open Awareness
Prayer to Invoke Archangel Haniel
Acknowledgments
As I sat down at the computer to write this section, I noticed a white
feather sitting on the sleeve of my sweater, so I must start with a thank
you to my angels and guides for always making their presence known in
my life and for providing me with a flow of signs and synchronicities that I
could share in this book. Thank you for helping me understand how you
communicate so I could teach it to others.
Mom, who also once told me through a medium she leaves feathers for
me, I dedicated this book to you because without you, it would not be the
book it is today. Thank you for always making your presence known to
me, even after twenty years on the other side, and for helping me
understand the truth about life, the universe, and my place in it from your
higher perspective. I love you. I miss you. And I know you will be there
with open arms when it’s my time to join you someday.
From the bottom of my heart, thank you Amy B. Scher for introducing
me to the best literary agent out there, Steve Harris, and for your support
answering all my questions about the book proposal and book writing
process. You are an earth angel to me—not to mention my go-to energy
healing expert. And, of course, Steve Harris, for believing in me as an
author and supporting me through every step of this process. You are
another earth angel sent from above.
Thank you to Angela Wix, my acquisitions editor at Llewellyn
Worldwide, for believing in this book from the very beginning, for your
amazing editing skills, and for all your support.
To my friend Kathy Morawski, graphic designer and the coolest chick I
know, our meeting years ago was set up by the universe, and you
continue to support me and work with me to make all my dreams and
crazy ideas come true creatively. Thank you for reading through the
entire manuscript before I submitted it for the first round of editing and for
always cheering me on.
Ana Rodrigues, without you I would not have started Elevated
Existence Magazine and be on the path I am today—another meeting
destined by the universe. Thank you for being the brilliant graphic
designer you are, for creating the magazine with me from scratch years
ago, and for always pushing me to move forward.
To my entire family, those mentioned in the book and those who are
not, thank you for always being open to my stories about signs and
synchronicities and for sharing your own experiences with me so that I
could share them with others. Together we are changing lives.
And to my husband, Ryan—thank you for always believing in me, even
when I struggle to believe in myself. Thank you for cooking dinner so I
could write a little longer at night, for building me an office in the
basement so I could have a sanctuary to be creative—and a separate
meditation space to release and recharge—and thank you for all your
love and patience. I waited thirty-eight years to find you in this life, and
you were worth the wait.
And finally, thank you to all my students and to you, the reader of this
book. Thank you for trusting me to assist you on this journey and for all
the amazing stories of signs and synchronicity you share with me. This
book is for each and every one of you.
There are only two ways
to live your life. One is as
though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle.
ALBERT EINSTEIN
Introduction
How would your life change if you knew everything in it—the positive and
the seemingly negative—was happening for your ultimate good? What if
you could find proof of this in your own life and tap into the infinite
number of elevated resources standing by, waiting to assist you with
every challenge, not only to guide you in the right direction, but also to
reroute you when you make a wrong turn?
There is no such thing as an accident or coincidence. There are only
circumstances and events we have not yet discovered the meaning for in
our lives. By learning to uncover and understand the signs and
synchronicities sent to us from the universe and our angels, guides, and
loved ones in spirit, we can reinforce our faith, live with more joy, and
experience life as a series of miracles rather than random chaos that
causes suffering.
You are about to embark on a life-changing journey, and it’s my honor
and privilege to be your guide. I know opening up to signs and
synchronicity will change your life because it changed mine, and I’ve
seen it change the lives of the students and clients I work with each day.
It’s likely you picked up this book because you believe in signs and
synchronicity, and you would like to be more aware of them in your life. I
don’t blame you. Communication with the universe and your loved ones
who have passed on makes life more magical. It offers you direction
when you are lost, reassurance when you are on the right track, faith that
everything in life serves a purpose, and confirmation that you are never
alone. I believe it provides a little bit of certainty in this very uncertain
world, and the communication from your loved ones who have passed
shows you that life does indeed continue when you leave this physical
body and return to your true home with God or Source. Your loved ones
are not gone. They see and know everything happening in your life, and
whether you realize it yet or not, they are constantly trying to let you know
they are around.
Through teaching others about signs and synchronicity, I usually come
across people who tell me they don’t ever get signs but wish they did,
those who receive some but question them, and those who receive some
but want more. Rest assured, no matter what category you fall into, this
book will help you. Also, it’s important to note that you don’t have to be a
psychic or medium or have any intuitive training to start receiving
communication from the universe and your loved ones in spirit. I know
this because I began receiving signs and synchronistic occurrences in my
life long before I ever started intentionally opening up my intuitive
abilities. I am not a practicing psychic or medium, and the majority of
people I work with are not either. You can do this, I promise.
The reality is that the universe and your angels, guides, and loved
ones are already communicating with you. They are sending you signs
and setting up synchronicities all the time. You are either just unaware of
them or you label them as a coincidence and say things like “it must be
my lucky day” when a solution to a challenge pops up out of nowhere.
But as Albert Einstein said, “Coincidence is God’s way of remaining
anonymous.” 1 Behind every coincidence or lucky day, you will find your
angels, guides, the universe, and your loved ones working on your behalf
in an effort to make your life in this physical world easier and more joyful.
You were never meant to navigate this life alone, and even though at
times it may seem like you are, I assure you that is not the case. You are
guided, protected, and loved beyond measure, and when you begin to
see the proof of this by syncing up with the universe and uncovering the
signs being sent to you, the way you look at life and your place in it can’t
help but change for the better.
You’re Already Connected
You have an inherent spiritual connection to the universe, God, Source,
Spirit, or a higher power—whatever you call it doesn’t matter as long as
you know it’s always there and working on your behalf. You can’t ever
disconnect from it. You are always plugged in. However, if the connection
isn’t nurtured, it can get fuzzy over time and start to weaken. This
happens when we get caught up in the chaos of daily life and forget to
make our connection to a higher source a priority. Rather than
connecting to the endless stream of joy, love, and gratitude that
emanates from this divine source, our thoughts become dominated by
fear and worry. Over time, the connection begins to fray like the cord for
your cell phone when the wires start popping through the plastic. The
current is still flowing, but you might have to twist it the right way to get
your phone to charge.
When your connection to the universe is strong, signs and
synchronicities effortlessly flow into your life, and you easily recognize
and understand them when they arrive. A back-and-forth communication
can take place between you and the universe and between you and your
loved ones in spirit. You know you can ask for help at any point and the
universe will always respond, and it will always be for your highest good.
And you know that no matter what happens in your life, you are always
safe. Strengthening this connection is not difficult and doesn’t require a
two-week retreat where you hike up a mountain to meditate. There are
small actions you can take each day to sync yourself back up with the
universe and maintain this connection. I share them throughout this book,
and they will not only help you open up and notice the signs being sent to
you, but they will also help you calm the chaos in your life, feel more joy,
and manifest more of what you do want rather than what you don’t want.
How to Use This Book
The exercises in this book will help you expand your awareness and
open up to the miracles of signs and synchronicity—whether you are
someone who has never received a sign from a loved one or uncovered
a synchronistic experience or if you already get signs and want more.
This is not a book where you will only read stories about other people’s
experiences with signs and synchronicities, although I do use some
stories to illustrate what I’m teaching. This book is meant to show you
how to uncover and understand signs and synchronicities in your own
life. I believe you can read all the inspirational stories in the world and
know that signs and synchronicities exist, but in order to truly understand
the miraculous power of this communication, you have to experience it
for yourself.
I’ve broken the book up into two parts. Part 1 , an introduction to signs
and synchronicity, will take you through the role these gifts from the
universe are meant to play in our lives, the common ways they show up
for us, and how to distinguish who might be sending the sign. This will
help you better understand the language the universe and your loved
ones on the other side use to communicate with you. There is even an
exercise to jumpstart the flow of signs to you. You will also learn several
ways you can turn the dial down on chaos in your life so you can be more
aware of the subtle communications that come through—an essential
step not only to receiving signs and synchronicity, but to opening your
intuition, manifesting the things you desire, and even healing the body. In
Part 2 , five steps to ignite the flow, you will dive into my five-step process
that will give you all the essential guidance and tools you need to align
yourself with the universe and the signs flowing to you.
I highly recommend you start with the first chapter and read all the way
through the book rather than jumping into Part 2 , although it’s tempting, I
know. But I laid the book out in this way because Part 1 provides the
foundation you need in order to get the most out of the five-step process
and exercises in Part 2 . I also recommend you do each exercise as they
come up in the book because they build on one another. If you want to
read the book all the way through and then go back to the exercises, that
works too. You will also find an Appendix 1 at the end of the book with a
suggested schedule to incorporate many of the techniques and exercises
from this book into your day, and a Appendix 2 listing archangels,
ascended masters, and more, along with the areas they specialize in, so
you can reference who to call upon for help with different aspects of your
life.
Additionally, you will see throughout the book that I refer to your
deceased loved ones as being in spirit, on the other side, or passed on.
These are all references to the afterlife or the hereafter. At times I will list
out your angels, guides, and loved ones, and at other points I will just use
the word “universe” to be more succinct. Just know that the term
“universe” includes all of these references, even if I don’t name them
individually.
The Five-Step Process
In Part 2 , I walk you through my five-step process to sync up with the
universe. Each of the five steps are building blocks to the process of
opening up your conscious awareness and connecting to the signs and
synchronicities around you, and each will include a variety of tips,
techniques, and exercises to help you along the way. Here is the
breakdown:
1—setting your intention
2—saying yes
3—notice
4—capture
5—higher vibration
It starts with setting a conscious intention to yourself and the universe
so you can start becoming more aware of what it’s communicating to you,
and then promising to say yes when the signs arrive, rather than talk
yourself out of them or rationalize a sign or synchronistic occurrence
away. (Be honest, you have done this in the past, haven’t you?) Then I
teach you different techniques to help you start noticing them when they
happen, and capturing them so you not only remember each one, but you
can also look back and find even more connections later on. You will be
creating your own reference guide of signs because the universe and
your loved ones will often communicate in ways unique to you. The last
step in the process is very important, and it’s learning how to intentionally
raise (and maintain) your own vibration and energy levels so your
conscious mind can perceive what is flowing to you. We will also work on
clearing some of the blocks you might have to receiving signs at the end
of Part 2 .
Lastly, before you begin reading the book, check out the resources
section below for a URL where you can access additional videos and
audios to enhance your experience of the content and teachings I offer
here. I want you to enjoy every step of this process because there is
nothing more miraculous to me than receiving communication from the
universe and our loved ones in spirit. Opening up to signs and
synchronicity changed the course of my life, and I’m excited to help it do
the same for you. Your angels, guides, loved ones, and the entire
universe are waiting for you, so let’s get started!
Resources
To enhance the content provided in this book, I created audio recordings
of the meditations throughout—as well as videos on muscle testing and
the Kirtan Kriya meditation—along with some other bonuses to help you
uncover and understand signs and synchronicities in your life. To access
them, go to www.theuniverseistalkingtoyou.com.
[contents]
1 . Siegel, Love, Medicine & Miracles , 214.
Part 1
Introduction
to Signs & Synchronicit y
An
Everything can change
at any moment,
suddenly and forever.
PAUL AUSTER
Chapter 1
How My Mother Taught Me the
Truth About Life After Her Death
It was two days after Christmas in 1999 and a friend’s twenty-first
birthday. The plan for celebration included a two-and-a-half-hour drive
down to Atlantic City, NJ, so we could try our luck at the slot machines
and see a comedy show. I was twenty-two years old, and this holiday
season was a special one for me. After struggling with the eating disorder
anorexia nervosa, I had recently started making progress toward healing,
both mentally and physically. I got my period back after being diagnosed
with amenorrhea, a side effect of starving myself from a healthy 115
pounds to a skeletal 90 in a futile attempt to gain control over my life. My
mother called it an early Christmas present. Even the anxiety and
depression—the real reason I had turned to food as a means for control
in the first place— had begun to lift.
I remember saying to my mother, “I can actually say I’m starting to feel
happy again,” and on Christmas morning I gave her a huge hug and said,
“I love you.” Despite the sometimes overpowering yet always
unconditional love my mother showed me on a daily basis, we didn’t
always say the words “I love you” out loud, yet something drove me to do
so that morning.
Getting ready to head out the door to see my therapist before heading
to Atlantic City, I said goodbye to my mom, who was home from work that
week for the holiday break. We were both in a great mood, laughing as
we tried on our new clothes from Christmas, and she modeled all the new
shoes I had bought her. She always loved fashion and matching her
outfits, shoes, and jewelry—a trait she passed on to me.
After therapy I stopped back at the house to grab a few things before
heading out again, but she had already left to visit a friend. I was getting
over a cold at the time and found a note from her next to a bottle of
cough medicine, reminding me to take some before I left. This was so
typical for her. She used to wake me up in the middle of the night with
medicine if I had a fever so it wouldn’t spike up while I slept. I took the
cough medicine, grabbed my purse, and left for a day of fun with my
friend.
That night the comedy show ran late. Knowing my mother would worry,
I stopped at a pay phone to call and let her know I would be home soon.
But instead of my mom’s voice, a man answered the phone. I
immediately hung up and called back, assuming I had dialed the wrong
number. That’s when I heard my cousin say, “Tammy, it’s Joey. Don’t
hang up.”
And in that split second, my life changed forever.
“Your mom was in a car accident,” he said.
“But is she okay?” I asked.
All he could say was “we don’t know.” I kept asking over and over,
desperate for reassurance, but he couldn’t give it to me. He honestly
didn’t know. Nobody did. I hung up with tears running down my face and
said to my friend, “Something happened to my mother. I have to get
home.”
That two-and-a-half-hour drive home seemed like days, and all I could
do was stare out the window, tears streaming down my face, as I begged
God to save her. He couldn’t take my mother. Not my mother. How would
I survive without her? I grasped onto my Catholic roots and began to pray
the rosary to the Blessed Mother. For some reason, I couldn’t shake the
feeling this was worse than what my cousin had explained. Something in
me knew there was more to this story.
I clung to my prayers in the hope they would make a difference, and by
the time we arrived at my house it was almost 1 a.m. I remember walking
up to the front door, not even noticing the street was lined with the cars of
our friends and family. As I walked through the door and into our living
room, I was immediately greeted by a crowd. It looked like a party.
People sat in the living room and dining room, and I could smell coffee
brewing in the kitchen. But this was no party.
My eyes darted around the room, and everyone whose gaze I met—
aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends—had a blank expression. This wasn’t
good.
“Somebody better tell me what the f*** is going on,” I said as my aunt
Neva, my cousin Joey, and my dad ushered me up the stairs and into my
parents’ bedroom. Shutting the door behind us, they sat me on the bed. It
was even worse than I had imagined. My mother had had a brain
aneurysm. She was lying unconscious in a New York City hospital bed,
and the doctors didn’t know if she was ever going to wake up.
She had initially lost consciousness at her friend’s house. When she
woke back up and found out her friend had called 911, she immediately
grabbed her purse and ran out of the house. She was always afraid of
doctors and must have been frightened that an ambulance was on its
way. Behind the wheel of the car, she blacked out again and drove her
car over someone’s lawn and straight into a telephone pole.
According to the police report, when the ambulance found her, she was
unconscious and laying across the front seat. They took her to a local
hospital in New Jersey where she regained consciousness one last time
—long enough to give them her insurance and doctor information and my
father’s work telephone number. She told them, “I don’t know what
happened—I just got dizzy,” then closed her eyes for the last time. Once
the doctors realized what was actually going on, they transferred her to
the neurological unit of Columbia Presbyterian Hospital in New York.
While my family initially went to the hospital in NY before heading home
to wait for me to get back from Atlantic City so I didn’t walk into an empty
house, they were told they could not see her yet and the doctors wouldn’t
have any more information until the morning.
I remember sitting in my parents’ living room with my dad, aunt, uncle,
and cousin, surrounded by all the Christmas decorations we had joyfully
and lovingly put up, trying to rest a bit before heading back to the hospital
around 5 a.m. I thought about the wonderful Christmas we had
celebrated only a couple of days before. I thought about that morning and
the last time I had seen her before this happened. Would that be the last
time I saw her alive? I gripped onto a pair of rosary beads my mother
loved, which were a gift from one of her coworkers who had visited
Jerusalem, as if they might have some magical powers that would fix
everything. I prayed for her. I prayed for me. I prayed this was all a bad
dream.
The next morning, we all drove to New York City and spent the entire
day in the hospital waiting room, fielding periodic updates from doctors
who provided little hope. I refused to go into the hospital room and see
her because emotionally I just couldn’t handle it, and if this was the end, I
didn’t want to remember her that way. Doctors explained that the
bleeding was so massive, they were trying to get it under control enough
to operate on her, but by 8 p.m. that evening, they pronounced her
clinically brain dead. As a family, we made the decision to take her off life
support. My father, uncle and cousin went into the room to be by her side
as they shut the machines off, and I went into the bathroom to cry. I stood
in a stall as heavy, heaving sobs came up from my chest to the point
where I was choking. It felt like something inside of me was squeezing
my heart, and it was hard to breathe.
Then, suddenly, it stopped.
As if someone had dumped a bucket of peace over my head, I felt a
sense of calm rush over me. It flooded my entire body, and the thought
“you are going to be okay—it’s all going to be okay” came into my mind.
The tears stopped. The sobs ended. I felt as if my mother was in that
bathroom with me. It was the strangest yet most comforting thing that had
ever happened to me. I knew at that moment she was no longer in her
body and had crossed over. That was her first communication with me
from the other side. It’s now been nearly twenty years as I write this, and
her communication has never stopped.
We buried her on New Year’s Eve. While everyone around the world
celebrated a new century—and worried about Y2K, which would
supposedly create havoc on computers and take down the world—I sat
on the couch in my aunt’s family room feeling as though my world had
already ended. I remember staring down at the brown carpet as the ball
dropped on television. I was surrounded by friends and family, but all I
could think about was how I was only twenty-two years old—which meant
I likely had years and years of life left to live without her. I just didn’t see
how I could do it. Thankfully, she showed me she wasn’t really gone.
My Foundation of Faith
Faith was important in my family, especially to my mother. She grew up
with my grandmother Rose, who was very devoted to the Blessed Mother
Mary. She passed that faith onto my mother, who passed it on to my
sister and I. From pre-K through eighth grade I attended Catholic school,
where we got demerits that added up to detention for things like rolling
our knee socks down to our ankles when it was 90 degrees with no air
conditioning. In eighth grade I completed a Bible study project that was a
huge binder of essays and commentary. Growing up, my mother and I
went to mass every Saturday night at 7 p.m.
But I was a child who questioned everything, including my religion. I’m
still the same way today. I’ll drive a doctor, veterinarian, family member,
or friend crazy with questions on just about everything. Just ask my
husband—he loves that about me. (No, he doesn’t!) I don’t mean any
harm by it. I’ve always sought answers, and until I fully understand
something, I just keep questioning. Growing up, I remember asking my
mom things like, “How do you know Catholics are right in what they
believe and other religions are wrong?” or “What if everyone who doesn’t
believe in Jesus isn’t actually damned to hell for all eternity?” I never
really got any answers—not any that satisfied me, anyway. She never
had a good answer for questions about Santa or how reindeer could fly
either. As I got older, I started leaning away from my faith little by little
until those Saturday night masses became a ritual of my mother leaving
the house alone, yelling how she was going to pray for all of us who were
not attending mass as she walked out the door.
I’m grateful for the faith I grew up with and took very seriously as a
child. Although I’ve evolved beyond the teachings and beliefs I learned as
a child, I know the deep faith and spiritual views I hold today are built off
of the foundations set early on. I still honor many of the wonderful
aspects of the Catholic faith today, including prayers and my family’s
devotion to the Blessed Mother. In fact, I have statues of her in my
meditation room next to archangel Michael and Buddha, and I call on her
often for help. I’m also grateful for the beliefs instilled in me as a child that
our soul goes to heaven, and that those who have passed on watch over
us. I no longer view heaven as “up there” but rather as a place that exists
all around us, and I believe that our loved ones can be seated right next
to us here on earth if they choose to be.
Growing up, my mother also believed that our loved ones who died
could send us signs, and I particularly remember her talking about dream
visitations and the use of songs on the radio. She told me once that the
song “Holes in the Floor of Heaven” by Steve Wariner came on while she
was driving, and she just knew it was a sign from her mother. I was only
five years old when my grandmother passed away, so I grew up with the
belief that she was watching over me, and I think this, along with my
mother’s belief in signs, set me up to be more open to receiving signs
after she died. They were all part of the universe’s plan for my path and
purpose in this lifetime, I’m sure.
My mother was also open to and intrigued by afterlife communication
through a medium. A friend of my sister Gina brought the book Lessons
From the Light: Extraordinary Messages of Comfort and Hope from the
Other Side by George Anderson to our house and showed it to my mom
only a few months before she died. The friend explained how Anderson
could communicate with deceased loved ones, and at the time, both of
my grandparents on my mom’s side had passed. I remember sitting in
the living room of my parents’ home and my mother saying how she
would love to hear from her parents, but this was probably more for
people who didn’t get a chance to say goodbye or who suffered an
unexpected tragedy.
It was a strange foreshadowing of events, as she died nearly six
months later with no goodbye or closure. Looking back, this was just
another setup by the universe to introduce us to George Anderson, who
would play a major role in our lives and connect us with our mother after
her death.
A Whole New World
Shortly after my mother died, it seemed like George Anderson showed up
every which way my sister and I turned. Cable networks were airing
specials on him and his ability to communicate with those who had
passed, and a prime-time television network even aired a show where he
gave readings to strangers who were floored by his undeniable accuracy.
In one special, they even hooked him up to a machine to study his
brainwaves while he did a reading. Then he showed up in New Jersey for
a live event. Then my sister heard him on a radio interview. She kept
calling me, saying, “See! Here he is again. Mommy knew about him
before she died. I think she is trying to get our attention. We need to
make an appointment.” We had already started receiving signs from my
mother, including dream visitations and songs on the radio, just like her
mother used to send to her. The songs “I Hope You Dance” by Lee Ann
Womack and “Angel” by Sarah McLachlan were two that made us think
of her and would always come on when we were thinking about her,
talking about her, or struggling with something. We believed George
Anderson showing up over and over again was also a sign.
At the time, I thought George was the only person on earth who had
the ability to communicate with those who have passed. This was before
the days where mediums had television shows and connecting with those
who had passed was more commonplace. I watched the specials with
him, read his book, and couldn’t deny we were hearing an awful lot about
this man since my mother died. But I was still skeptical. We looked him
up online and found out that he was holding sessions in Long Island, NY,
which wasn’t far from where we lived. My sister finally convinced me to
make an appointment, and I think part of me caved because if she went
without me and actually connected with my mother, I would be totally
pissed I wasn’t there.
So here is how a skeptical Virgo like me handled it. It was 2000, so
online payments didn’t exist yet. To book an appointment you had to print
out a form and mail it. I took this opportunity to make sure George would
not have any information so he could look up details about my mother or
anyone in my family for that matter, and did what any hesitant person
would do: I lied. I sent in the form using a friend’s name and address and
another friend’s work telephone number. Eventually we got a letter saying
we had an appointment set for October, which was ten months after her
death. My brother-in-law drove us to Long Island.
When we arrived at the hotel, an assistant took us to a conference
room and we sat down on a small sofa across from George, who had a
quiet warmth about him. We popped in a cassette tape to record the
session, then sat in anticipation for him to begin.
“Please only say yes , no , or I understand ,” he instructed us. “Don’t
give me too much information because I want to get the information from
the spirits on the other side.”
We agreed, and within the next three minutes my life changed yet
again. George explained that a female presence had entered the room
(my mother), followed by a male and another female, which turned out to
be my grandparents.
“The lady that came in first comes to you as mom,” he said, pointing to
my sister. “But wait, she comes to you as mom as well,” he said, looking
at me. “She embraces you both with love.” Then he looked off into the
distance and said, “Oh, they are,” and looked back at us, saying, “She
said you are her daughters, and this is my problem because I’m saying to
her ‘they are not related’ and she said to me, ‘I think I know my
daughters.’”
Now, if you knew my strong-willed Italian mother, you would know this
sounded exactly like her. I’m guessing my sister’s blond hair and my
brunette threw him off because he said we didn’t look like we were
related. At this point we both started crying and continued to do so for the
entirety of the session. His accuracy floored me as he shared messages
from my mother addressing things I’ve never said out loud to anyone but
thought only in my head. In fact, he not only relayed the strong bond my
mother and grandmother had with the Blessed Mother, but at the end of
the session, he asked us to wait because he had something to give us.
He walked to the back of the room and pulled a few things out of a bag,
saying, “Now I know why I bought these the other day. I knew it must
have had to do with a reading coming up.”
He handed my sister a framed picture of the Blessed Mother, saying,
“Your mother said you need more religious symbols in your house and to
hang this somewhere.” We laughed because it was true, and she had
said that before she died. Then he handed us both prayer cards with the
Blessed Mother entitled “The Immaculate Heart of Mary” with the Novena
prayer my mother used to say printed on it. We were stunned and
beyond grateful to this man. We still are today.
This reading opened the door to a whole new world for me—a world
where there was proof that only the physical body dies. A world where
there was proof the soul and spirit live on. I still wanted my mother back
in her body and here with me—I think we all long for that when a loved
one leaves this physical world—and I cried on and off for three days
because I felt like I had lost her all over again now that the reading was
over. But this was really a new beginning, and not an ending at all. A shift
had taken place inside of me, and I knew my life would never be the
same. I also knew I wanted to share what I discovered and continued to
learn on my new spiritual journey. Eight years later, I created Elevated
Existence Magazine to start doing it.
Landing Deepak Chopra
Whenever I’m interviewed or tell my story about starting Elevated
Existence Magazine and debuting it with best-selling author and spiritual
teacher Deepak Chopra on the cover, the first question people ask is,
“How in the world did you get Deepak Chopra on the cover for your first
issue? That is incredible!” They’re right. It was incredible, and it was also
the universe who set it up for me, one synchronistic step at a time. In
fact, getting Deepak Chopra on the cover of the first magazine is when I
first began to notice synchronicity in my own life because I realized how
everything lined up perfectly for me. It’s also when I realized there really
are no accidents in this universe. There are only events or circumstances
we may not have found meaning for yet, and that includes the positive
and the seemingly negative circumstances in our lives. Everything is
leading us in the direction toward our highest good—even when it doesn’t
seem like it.
I’m going to share how I got Deepak Chopra on the cover of the firstever edition of Elevated Existence Magazine so you can see how one
seemingly random event after another connected to lead me to it. It all
started with Wayne Dyer, whom I discovered through his PBS special
called The Power of Intention . I had begun listening to his weekly radio
shows on Hay House Radio, and during one episode he mentioned
Deepak Chopra and the fact that the Chopra Center had a location in
New York City. At the time, I worked as an editor for a magazine in the
city, so I looked it up online. I noticed the New York location had a retreat
called Perfect Health coming up, and they would be teaching meditation.
Although I had dabbled in the practice, I had not had any formal
meditation training yet. I was excited about the retreat but hesitant to
attend it by myself. I had been on many business trips alone, but this felt
different to me, and I wasn’t sure I should spend the money.
A few days later, I got an email from someone—not the Chopra Center
—offering $400 off any Chopra Center course. I immediately felt chills run
up my spine. I called a friend, saying, “I don’t know why, but I feel like
someone wants me to attend this.” I signed up and attended the four-day
retreat, where I received Ayurvedic spa treatments and learned
Primordial Sound Meditation, which provided me with my own personal
mantra based on the time and date I was born, and practiced yoga. By
the end of the retreat, I felt renewed and knew I wanted to be able to
attend more events like this and immerse myself in the spiritual world
where I was finding so much comfort and hope. I also knew I wanted to
work for myself so I could have more time off than the standard two
weeks each year to pursue this new passion. In fact, the idea of working
for myself came to me during one of the group meditations during the
event.
Initially I thought I could become a full-time freelance writer so I could
make my own schedule, or even pursue a career working for a spiritual
magazine, but in 2007 there were not many spiritual magazines being
published. The ones I found were in California, Arizona, or Colorado, and
I didn’t want to relocate. By January 2008, a year after attending the
Chopra Center retreat, I became increasingly unhappy in my current job
and longed to marry my writing and magazine experience with my
spiritual journey. I was explaining this (okay, complaining) to a coworker,
who nonchalantly said, “Why don’t you just start your own magazine and
put it online? Everything is online nowadays.”
“Start a magazine?” I asked. “Are you crazy? Who am I to start a
magazine? Who would read it? I don’t think I can do that.”
She reminded me I had been in the magazine industry for ten years at
the time and offered to do the graphic design. I initially laughed it off and
went back to my desk. But again, something shifted in me, and I couldn’t
get the idea out of my head. I started thinking about names, looking into
technology, and thinking of column ideas for my magazine. The more I
allowed myself to dream about it, the more I wanted to do it. The idea
started becoming less and less crazy and more and more exciting. By
March 2008 I had created Elevated Existence LLC and trademarked the
name.
I knew I had to get someone amazing for the first cover to be taken
seriously by people who discovered the magazine, and after a little
research, I discovered coincidentally (not, of course) the Chopra Center
had a Renewal Weekend scheduled in New York City in April 2008.
Deepak Chopra would be speaking at the event, and I hatched a plan to
attend and cover the event for the magazine, quoting the speakers and
summarizing their teachings, including Deepak Chopra. I just needed a
picture of him for the cover.
At the event, I spoke with a few of the coordinators, explaining how I
was starting an online magazine and that my coverage of the event
would be the very first cover story. I asked who I could contact for a highresolution digital photo of Deepak to use on the cover, and although I’m
pretty sure they thought I was crazy, they gave me the name and email of
someone I could reach out to at the Chopra Center in California. Several
emails went unanswered, but I refused to give up. I knew there had to be
a way to get this photo, and then it hit me: I could contact the spa director
at the Chopra Center in New York, whom I had met during the retreat the
year prior. I was sure she would remember me.
On my lunch hour, I hopped on a subway train in Greenwich Village
with my newly printed Elevated Existence letterhead in hand and went to
the Chopra Center in Midtown Manhattan. I was told the spa director was
in a meeting, so I asked if I could leave a note. I quickly wrote on the
letterhead explaining who I was, what I was doing, and what I needed. I
left it with the woman at the front desk and headed to the Starbucks next
door for a caramel macchiato before taking the subway back to work.
Just as I was adding a hint of cinnamon to the top of the foam, my cell
phone rang. It was the spa director.
I reiterated what I was trying to accomplish, saying, “I know I’m not the
New York Times or Time Magazine , but I have a legitimate company, I
attended the event, and I already wrote the article. I just need a photo for
the cover.” The spa director promised to make a phone call to the
headquarters in California for me, and by the time I sat back down at my
desk that afternoon, I had several photo options in my email inbox.
Can you see all the dots that connect in that story? Discovering Wayne
Dyer led me to Deepak Chopra and the New York City Chopra Center.
Getting the coupon in my email led me to take action and attend the
Perfect Health retreat. That course and learning a formal practice of
meditation helped me decide I wanted to work for myself and pursue a
career connected to spirituality and self-improvement. When nothing was
panning out, my coworker brought up the idea of starting the magazine.
Deepak Chopra was speaking in New York only one month after I started
my company and was looking for my first issue’s cover subject. My
attending the event the year before at the Chopra Center, which started
me on this path to beginning my own magazine, gave me the connection
I needed to get a photo of Deepak Chopra for the cover. This was over
the span of more than a year, but it all lines up perfectly. I had no clue
when I attended that retreat in 2007 that I would be starting my own
magazine the following year, let alone getting Deepak Chopra for the first
cover. But the universe did. It was all set up perfectly for me. And I
promise, there are many connections in your life where things play out in
a similar manner. In fact, I’ll be showing you how to connect the dots in
this book.
I started Elevated Existence Magazine with a desire to share what I
was learning to create more peace, joy, and meaning in my life. Since I
began the magazine, I’ve met so many wonderful and inspirational
spiritual teachers and celebrities, including the late Louise Hay and
Wayne Dyer as well as Marianne Williamson, Brian Weiss, Gregg
Braden, Melissa Etheridge, Alanis Morrissette, Olivia Newton-John, Fran
Dresher, and Shirley MacLaine.
I discovered so many unique ways to apply what I was learning to my
own life—including creating new tools that worked for me—and I
eventually realized in addition to sharing the teachings of others, I
needed to start sharing my own unique views, too. The feedback has
been overwhelming, especially on the topic of signs and synchronicity.
Now, here I am teaching you through this book, so the universe obviously
had more plans for me than I originally thought when I launched that first
issue with Deepak Chopra.
But that’s how it works for all of us. We may not know exactly where we
will end up next, but signs and synchronicity can help us navigate the
uncertainty with less fear and more faith. What has helped me
tremendously is knowing how guided I am and that no matter what,
everything is leading me to my ultimate good. By the end of this book,
you will realize this about your own life, too.
[contents]
Tune into the presence of miracles, and in an instant, life can be transformed into a
dazzling experience, more wondrous and exciting than we could even imagine.
Ignore it, and an opportunity is gone forever.
DEEPAK CHOPRA
Chapter 2
The Magic of
Signs & Synchronicity
No doubt you have heard the term synchronicity before, but do you really
understand what it is, how it works, and why it’s so magical? Even if you
have never received a sign from a loved one or the universe before, I’m
sure you’ve heard other people talk about it. But are you aware that we
are all receiving them, and that “all” includes you? Both synchronicity and
signs are gifts bestowed upon us from the universe, and they are not
reserved for a chosen few or for those with a psychic gift. They are
available to each and every person in this physical world and are meant
to help our soul navigate this temporary existence as a human being. The
universe, our loved ones on the other side, the angels, and our guides
use signs and synchronicity to communicate with us, direct us, guide us,
and even reroute us when we are headed down the wrong path.
In some cases, our guides and loved ones on the other side are
helping us as part of their job and their own soul growth. I don’t believe
we stop growing and evolving after we make our transition out of the
physical body; it’s just that taking on a human body and experiencing life
in the physical world helps us advance much faster because it’s so much
harder here! The other side, where our souls return after physical death,
is pure love and peace compared to the contrast and pain we experience
here as a human being. These beliefs are based on what I’ve been told
time and again by friends who are mediums and from interviewing so
many top mediums for the magazine over the years, all of whom get their
information from the souls who have transitioned to the other side. The
unfortunate piece of this puzzle is that many people don’t understand the
power these gifts of signs and synchronicity hold or how to recognize
them and understand them when they arrive. As a result, these presents
remain unwrapped, and the joy, reassurance, and direction they provide
us remains unclaimed.
It’s not our fault, though. We were never taught how to recognize or
understand the way the universe and our loved ones communicate with
us. It’s not like it’s an elective you can choose in high school next to the
options for woodworking and ceramics. For most of us, it’s not until we
mature and start to long for more meaning in our life—asking deeper
questions and exploring our belief systems—that we begin to realize this
communication is possible. For me, the catalyst into a spirituality beyond
religion was the death of my mom. For others, it’s the diagnosis of an
illness, a divorce, or some other life-altering experience that sends them
on a search. Something brought you to this book, and that means you
are ready to learn the language of the universe and your loved ones on
the other side. Don’t worry if you haven’t claimed the gifts they sent you
in the past; the universe and your loved ones, guides, and angels are
standing by right now waiting to send you more. Trust me, they are
thrilled that you are reading this book and ready to open up to them.
Remember, they want to help you, and it’s your divine right to accept
their assistance.
In this chapter I’ll explain why signs and synchronicities are so
important when it comes to creating a happier and more spiritually
connected life. I’ll also share how communication with our angels, guides,
and loved ones on the other side is really a two-way street. We don’t
have to just wait for signs and synchronicity to occur; we can actually ask
for guidance and direction and then anticipate their arrival.
What Is Synchronicity?
Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst Carl Jung came up with the term
synchronicity in the 1920s as part of his work as an analytical
psychologist. The word describes the experience of two or more events
being meaningfully related, although the events don’t have to be exactly
simultaneous in time. In other words, you can discover synchronicities
that occur and connect within the same day, week, or month, but they
can also be years apart and still be meaningfully related. Jung called
these events “meaningful coincidences,” where one event did not actually
cause the other, but they are still connected. 2
For example, when I was in college, I worked part-time as a
receptionist for a chiropractor in the evenings. The owners hired a new
employee the summer before my senior year, and she would make a lot
of mistakes and leave them for me to fix. Over time friction developed
between the two of us, and I became very unhappy working there. I was
majoring in English with a concentration in writing, and because I was so
unhappy, I decided to look for a different part-time job that would give me
experience in the writing field. At the time I had no idea what I wanted to
do with my writing degree, but I knew writing came easily to me. Plus, I
enjoyed it and was good at it.
I started searching the local newspaper—that is how one found a job in
1998—and discovered a magazine publishing company looking for a
part-time editorial assistant not far from where I lived. It said college
students were welcome, so I applied, interviewed, and got the job. One
year later, upon graduation, they offered me a full-time position as an
assistant editor. That is how I began my career in the magazine industry,
and it started with me becoming very unhappy in a former job.
Let’s trace the synchronicity that happened over more than a year’s
time. First, after working for three years for the chiropractor, and being
very happy there, a new hire changed the dynamic. This pushed me to
find another job, one that would help me find a job in writing after I
graduated. There happened to be a local publishing company looking to
hire a part-time college student, and I got the job. Then they offered me a
full-time position once I graduated, so when most college graduates are
searching for a position, I had one waiting for me. This gave me the
experience I needed to get a higher paying job and a better title at a new
company the following year, and that is where I met the woman who is
now the art director of Elevated Existence Magazine . It was years
between me looking for that initial job and me creating the magazine, but
it all connects. The events are all meaningfully related, and they all led
me to where I am today.
When I was going through the turmoil that caused me to look for a new
job, it was upsetting and frustrating, but it was meant to be. It was the
friction I needed to push me forward and into my future in the magazine
industry. When we are going through challenges that upset us, it’s hard
to understand why it’s happening or what we did to cause or deserve it.
But often it’s pushing us to take action and to move in a direction where
something even more amazing is waiting. That is how the universe
works, and it’s why I say even the situations in our life that seem negative
are really for our own highest good.
In addition to tracing synchronistic events over one year or even
several years, they can also happen within a much shorter time span.
Let’s say you decide you want to start practicing yoga, and you look
online to find a studio near your home. You decide to sign up, and that
night a friend calls you and mentions she coincidentally (not, of course)
looked into the same yoga studio the prior week. You make plans to go
together, and now you are more likely to stick with the practice because
you have one another to attend class with and can hold each other
accountable. That is the universe reinforcing to both of you that you were
on the right track and should be adding yoga to your life. Plus, it paired
you up so that you could help one another get to the classes.
Synchronicity shows us nothing is chance or coincidental. The people
you meet, the ideas you get or solutions crossing your path, the places
you go—it’s all leading you somewhere. It’s all for your benefit. No, it
doesn’t always seem that way. In fact, it usually doesn’t seem that way
when the events are unfolding before you. But the universe and your
angels and guides really are leading you and guiding you, and if you give
them enough time, the meaning will usually present itself.
What About Signs?
Unlike synchronicity, which is two or more events that connect in some
way, a sign is often a single occurrence. Do some signs repeat in a
synchronistic way? Yes. But many stand on their own, and the universe
will use them to get us an answer or wake us up to something we should
be paying attention to for our highest good. For example, let’s say you’re
having a bad day. Maybe you’re fighting with your significant other or just
feeling lonely and unloved. You decide to go for a walk outside in a
nearby park and take a path you don’t normally take. As you are walking,
you see “you are loved” written on the ground in chalk and you feel
goosebumps on your arms as your eyes well up with tears. That is a sign
meant to comfort you. There have been so many times I’ve come across
a random heart shape on the ground or in food, and I take each and
every one as a sign of love. I usually post them on social media. I have
shared when my sweet potato cut in half made a perfect heart and the
time I pulled a heart-shaped brown rice wrap out of the package where
the rest were round. You will realize signs are everywhere once you start
waking up to them.
In my synchronistic story from the last chapter about landing Deepak
Chopra for the magazine, my getting a coupon in my email when I was
contemplating if I should attend the retreat at the Chopra Center was a
sign for me to go ahead and book it. If you are thinking about going to
Italy on your next vacation, and then while you are scrolling through
Facebook, you see that someone just came back from there and posted
pictures, that is a sign to look into the trip, especially if you have never
seen anyone post about Italy in all your years on social media.
While writing this book, my cousin called me to tell me about this
“strange thing” that happened to him when walking out of the building
where he works. A guy walking out behind him made a joke about him
being dressed as a secret service person since he was in a suit and dark
glasses. My cousin held the door for him, and the guy stopped and said
he had something to give him. He handed him a white sheet of paper
with the title “A Blessing” and went on his way. It was a typed note asking
him to recognize the power of his soul and to remember he is not alone.
There was no signature or company name on it. It was a simple blessing
this man shared with him because he held the door open for him.
Unhappy with his current job situation, it was exactly what he needed to
hear.
Our loved ones often use a single sign to get our attention, whether it’s
to get a message across or just to let us know they are around. I
remember one time when I was feeling very stressed and overwhelmed
and I accidentally stepped on the cordless phone laying on the bedroom
floor. I sighed, annoyed at the phone and myself for leaving it there. But
when I picked it up, I noticed my foot dialed the numbers 0509. That was
my mother’s birthday: May 9. I knew immediately she was around and
letting me know everything would be fine. I’ll go more in-depth on signs
and how they show up in Chapter 4 .
Life-Changing Benefits
Now that you know more about signs and synchronicity, can you see why
I am so passionate about this topic? It’s truly life-changing once you
begin to view the world through this miraculous lens. When you are going
through something challenging and your life is being shaken up
unexpectedly, you can view it from a new perspective once you
understand how the universe works in this way because you realize
everything is leading you somewhere for your ultimate good. Even if in
the moment you have no clue why it’s happening or where you are
headed, you can look back to see the guidance in your past and know
that whatever is occurring has a purpose. When I hit roadblocks or am
faced with a new challenge today, the first thing that always comes to
mind for me is this: I don’t know why this is happening, but I know there is
a reason, and I’ll figure it out eventually. I know it’s leading me
somewhere good.
Carl Jung knew about the miraculous benefits of signs and
synchronicity years ago, which is why he wrote and lectured about it
during his life. In fact, as a psychiatrist, he found that when his patients
started noticing the synchronicities in their lives, they began to make
progress in therapy where they had not in the past. 3
In one of his writings on the topic, he spoke of a woman who he called
“psychologically inaccessible.” He struggled to break through to her until
synchronicity intervened. While she was in his office describing a recent
dream where someone gave her a golden scarab, which was an
expensive piece of jewelry at the time, Jung suddenly heard a noise
outside the window. Outside he saw a large insect knocking on the glass
as if trying to get inside. He opened the window and as it flew in, he
caught it in his hand. Realizing it was a scarabaeid beetle with goldengreen coloring, he handed it to the patient, saying, “Here is your scarab.”
This experience completely changed her. “Treatment could now be
continued with satisfactory results,” he wrote. 4
Why are signs and synchronicity so powerful that recognizing it can
help people move forward in therapy when they’ve hit nothing but
roadblocks before? It gives us proof we are not alone and that life is not
random. It proves there is a force working on our behalf, trying to get
through to us, so our lives can be easier. It boosts our faith in the
universe and in our own future, and it allows us to face unexpected
circumstances with confidence, knowing everything we experience in our
lives is leading us somewhere good.
We live in a very uncertain world. It’s not possible to accurately predict
everything that lies before us, no matter how psychic someone may be.
Every day we face uncertainty about what could happen next, and this
way of living is a breeding ground for fear. We all fall victim to it at one
time or another, and for many people, it’s become the standard way of
navigating life. We worry about what is coming next or what might not be
coming next. We fear for our own futures and for the futures of those we
love. What if we or they make a mistake? What if we or they head down a
path that leads to pain and sorrow? It’s so easy to become caught up,
consciously and subconsciously, waiting for the next crisis to occur,
which only creates more crisis.
Recognizing and understanding signs and synchronicity can provide
relief from all of that. It offers us a dose of certainty in the midst of
uncertainty. It helps us find faith in the face of fear and provides
reassurance when we need to keep moving forward. It’s a gentle
reminder that we are not alone in this world. It gives meaning to events
that may seem meaningless at first, and it provides guidance when we
don’t know where to turn next. It opens up a whole new way of viewing
life and the world we live in, giving us confidence in the future, no matter
what may come our way.
2 . Jung, Synchronicity, 10.
3 . Jung, Synchronicity , 23.
4 . Ibid., 22
Exercise
A Mindset Shift
Before we move forward, I want you to really take in what I’ve
been saying to you so far: You are not alone. There are no
accidents. Everything is happening for your highest good. Here is
a new belief I would like you to adopt right now to help you shift
your mindset and remember that even when you can’t find
meaning in certain circumstances and events in your life, there is
good within every challenge:
Everything that happens in my life—the positive and what seems
like the negative—is leading me somewhere for my highest
good. All is well. I am safe.
Set an alarm on your phone so that it goes off a few times a day
to remind you of this. Make a sign to hang by your bed so you see
it first thing in the morning and right before you fall asleep at night.
Put a sticky note on your bathroom mirror with these words. Write
it in the notes section of your cell phone and look at it every time
chaos begins to overwhelm you or something goes wrong during
your day. Even if right now these words don’t seem believable to
you, I assure you: by the end of this book, they will.
Higher Help
Have you ever felt alone, even when you are surrounded by people?
Have you ever felt like nobody understood you or what you were going
through or that you had nobody who could help you find a solution to a
challenge or problem? Well, I have good news for you: you are never
alone. Even when you are physically by yourself, you are not alone.
Why? Because you have a team of angels, guides, and more by your
side.
Each and every one of us has an entire team of higher souls available
to guide us, help us make decisions, lead us to answers, protect us, and
send us love and reassurance. I like to think of them as a spiritual board
of directors, all waiting in a big conference room to help with any problem
or challenge that arises. We all have our own spiritual board of directors
available twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, and this board
includes our guardian angels, archangels, our individual guides (yes, we
all have our own), loved ones who have passed on before us (who in
some cases may even be one of our guides), and other ascended
masters and teachers who make up what I call our soul society. I view
this grouping as encompassing all those souls on the other side assisting
us on our current life path. Some we may have known in this life. Others
could be from a past life or a future life to come. And in some cases, we
may never meet these souls in the physical world, yet they have been
assigned to help us. Because of this, I group them as our soul society
and include them in my prayers so I am calling on everyone that could
possibly help me. Even if I don’t know who they are, they certainly do!
It’s this team of people—angel, guides, and loved ones—who are
sending the signs and synchronicities and helping orchestrate events to
lead us where we are meant to go in this life. But communication goes
both ways. Yes, even when we don’t ask them, they are sending us signs
and trying to get our attention so we make decisions for our highest good.
But there are times they need us to specifically ask in order for them to
intervene, and when we get into the habit of doing so, the signs and
synchronicities really kick into high gear.
What is important to know about this spiritual board is we have the
ability to call on any spirit or soul, whether we knew them in this life or
not, to assist us and join the board for either a temporary stay or a full-
time position. For example, if you are working on an invention or the
creation of something new, why not call in the spirit of Benjamin Franklin
or Albert Einstein? If you work with computers and need help solving a
problem, call on Apple founder Steve Jobs. Are you an artist? Call in
Pablo Picasso, Vincent van Gogh, or Leonardo da Vinci. If you are trying
to heal the body or cultivate self-love, the late Hay House founder Louise
Hay would be a great spirit to work with and join your board. In fact,
Wayne Dyer confirmed this after his own death, which I discovered when
I interviewed his daughters Serena and Saje for a cover story in the
magazine. They shared many messages they had received from him
since his passing in August 2015. One of the most important, and one he
asked them specifically to pass on to others for him, was that he would
be there for anyone who called on him. They did not have to be a friend
or family member to communicate with him, and all they needed to do
was think of him and he would be there.
Also, if you don’t know who your individual guides are, don’t stress
yourself about it. You can call them in to help you collectively, which is
how I start out every prayer for help (see examples below). It’s also
important to note that you can call on any soul or spirit that was part of
any religion or belief system, even if you do not follow or practice that
religion. For example, if you were not brought up Catholic, you can still
call on Saint Jude, who is the patron saint of hopeless cases, or Saint
Joseph, who is the patron saint of workers. If you were brought up in the
Jewish religion, you can still call on the Hindu god Ganesha, who helps
remove obstacles, or the fertility goddess Rhea for help getting pregnant.
Religion only exists in the physical world. On the other side of the veil, we
are all one and all connected, which means we are all here to support
one another.
I was recently teaching an online class and talking about calling in
elevated help as one of the ways to handle overwhelm and stress, as
well as solve a problem. One of my students, a photographer, had been
trying for weeks to fix something with one of her cameras. She
remembered my teachings on elevated help and called on George
Eastman, the American entrepreneur who founded the Eastman Kodak
Company, for assistance. Within an hour of asking for help, she suddenly
thought of trying something she hadn’t before, and it worked. She had
struggled for weeks with this camera, and one prayer provided her with
the answer in an hour. Another student experiencing money troubles
after healing from a health issue decided to call in her guides along with
goddess Lakshmi, who is the Hindu goddess of prosperity and financial
wealth. Shortly after asking for help, all the money she needed for the
next two months of living expenses showed up in less than three hours.
That is the power of calling in higher help.
Your team is ready and willing to help you at any time; all you need to
do is ask. Whether you are struggling with a major crisis, such as a
health diagnosis or the loss of a job, or you just need help in the moment
to get the snow plow or lawnmower started (I’ve called in help for both), if
you ask for it, help will always come, and answers will come to you
through signs and synchronicity.
Yes, sometimes it is as simple as the lawnmower suddenly starting or
an idea popping in your head, like it did for my student working with her
camera. But other times it’s through subtle (and sometimes not-so-subtle)
signs and synchronistic occurrences to guide us in the right direction. For
example, let’s say you get a health diagnosis and don’t know where to
turn. You call on archangel Raphael, who is known as the healing angel,
and the next day a friend calls you with the perfect doctor to help you
because he cured her coworker with the same issue. Or the name of a
book crosses your path twice in the same week, and when you finally
take a look at it, you realize it’s exactly the approach you need to take to
help yourself. You might think, “Oh, that was lucky,” but that is not luck.
That is your spiritual team of angels, guides, and loved ones at work.
Things like this happen all the time, but many people cast off these signs
and synchronicities as a “coincidence” or “perfect timing,” not realizing
they are gifts and that our spiritual board is working overtime to get
through to us. Sometimes the help arrives without us asking for it, but it
always arrives when we do, and I like “always” odds much better than
“sometimes,” don’t you?
Calling in Higher Help
While the universe and our angels and guides use signs and
synchronicities to communicate with us, we also have to become more
conscious of how and what we communicate to them, and we need to
remember this help is available at any time. While they do provide us
help even when we don’t ask, reaching out to consciously request help
begins to create more of a dialogue between you and the universe. This
will also help you become more conscious of the answers when they
come because once you ask, you will be consciously expecting an
answer. For a list of archangels, ascended masters, goddesses, saints,
and more, along with what they specialize in, see Appendix 2 .
How do you know when to call in higher help? There is never a wrong
time to do it, but here are some examples to consider making part of your
daily routine:
In the morning: When you begin your day by calling in elevated help,
you set yourself up for more success. I use a morning prayer (see
Chapter 6 ) to call in my angels and guides every morning, ask for
help recognizing their answers, and sharing specific things I might
need help with that day. You will notice a difference in your day when
you start it this way.
In the evening: Thank them for all they have done for you that day, and
ask for help with anything new that popped up or that you know is
ahead of you tomorrow. Ending your day with gratitude is powerful for
your vibration and mood, and it can shift thoughts from worry about
what is going wrong to celebrating what is going right.
In the moment: When you are running late for work, the car won’t start,
your cell phone won’t turn on, you need a parking space at the
grocery store, you are fighting with a friend or family member, or you
are just feeling overwhelmed, it’s time to call in higher help. Anytime
you are faced with a challenge, need help finding a solution to
something, or just want something to go smoothly, stop for a minute,
call in the help, and then move forward. When you start doing this,
you will be shocked at the results you get and wonder why in the
world you had not been doing this all along!
Before an event: In addition to calling in help in the middle an actual
problem, you can also call it in prior to entering into a situation you
think might be challenging. It can be a job interview, a big meeting at
work, a doctor’s appointment, or a family gathering where you might
see someone who usually triggers or upsets you. Ask for strength in
facing the situation and allowing you to know the right thing to do or
say, and that it all works out smoothly and for the highest good of all
involved.
Call in a friend or loved one’s angels and guides on their behalf: The
power of prayer is astonishing when done on behalf of someone else.
There are actually scientific studies done on this, and the results are
amazing. For example, one study done in Seoul, Korea, looked at the
potential effects of prayer on pregnancy rates in women undergoing in
vitro fertilization-embryo transfer. Neither the patients nor the
providers of care knew about the prayers being said by groups in the
United States, Canada, and Australia. The study divided 219 women
into two groups: during the four-month treatment period, one group
received prayers while the other did not. The results showed the
group receiving prayers had a higher pregnancy rate (50 percent
versus 26 percent) and a higher implantation rate (16.3 percent
versus 8 percent). 5
5 . K. Y. Cha and D. P. Wirth, “Does Prayer Influence the Success of In Vitro Fertilization-Embryo
Transfer? Report of a Masked, Randomized Trial” in The Journal of Reproductive Medicine , US
National Library of Medicine (Sept. 2001), www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11584476/.
Exercise
Prayers for Higher Help
The following prayers can be used to call in higher help for yourself
as well as on behalf of someone else. These prayers can be
changed and adapted as needed, and they allow for you to set
your own intentions and call in specific help as well as the entire
team available to you. This is the format I use whenever I call in
elevated help for myself or someone else, and it always works like
a charm.
Help for You
Dear Spirit/God/Universe, I call in my angels, guides, loved ones
who have passed, and all those in my soul society—only those
of the highest vibration—to be with me today/right now. I also
call on [here you can call in specific reinforcements depending
on what you are struggling with]. I am struggling with/need help
or assistance with/need guidance on/ [explain the situation]. I
promise to be open to the signs you send in whatever form they
may come, whether a new idea, thought, person, or opportunity
that comes my way. Please assist me in doing so. Thank you in
advance for your help and assistance with this matter. I am truly
grateful. Amen.
Help for Another Person
Dear Spirit/God/Universe, I call in [name’s] angels, guides, loved
ones who have passed, and all those in their soul society—only
those of the highest vibration—to be with them today/right now. I
also call on [here you can call in specific angels, masters, etc.,
depending on what you are asking for help with]. [Name] is
struggling with/needs help or assistance with/needs guidance
on/ [explain the situation]. Please help [name] to be open to the
signs you send in whatever form they may come, whether a new
idea, thought, person, or opportunity that comes their way.
Please assist them in doing so. Thank you in advance for your
help and assistance with this matter. I am truly grateful. Amen.
The next time you find yourself worrying about a friend or family member
or watching someone you love struggle, remember this is something you
can do. You can call in their angels and guides on their behalf. They don’t
even have to be aware you are sending the extra help their way. Don’t
discount this act of love you can give to another person. It’s also fun to
watch them receive help and answers even if they don’t recognize it’s
coming from a higher source, and it will help boost your faith, too.
Isn’t it comforting to know you are always guided, even when it doesn’t
look or feel like it? There is meaning behind the things that seem
meaningless, and guidance is being sent to help us on our journey, even
when it seems like we are going it alone. My goal is to help you
remember this so you can find more faith, happiness, and certainty as
you move forward. The next chapter is a deep dive into synchronicity,
including the top ways it shows up and a fun exercise to get you started
on uncovering it in your own past.
[contents]
Learn how to see. Realize that
everything connects to everything else.
LEONARDO DA VINCI
Chapter 3
Spotting Synchronicity
Synchronicity is happening all around you and has been your entire life.
Every event in your life, person you met, or heartache you’ve
experienced has led you to where you are right now—and they all have
meaning and purpose. When you start to unearth these golden nuggets
and link them together, you will realize your past is a true pot of gold. It
will also help dramatically shift your outlook on the present and future
circumstances to one that is more positive and hopeful. I’ve uncovered
three distinct ways synchronicity shows up in our lives, and this chapter
will help you get familiar with them so you can begin spotting them in
your own past, present, and future. This is the next step in expanding
your awareness and opening you up to these miracles, and I’ll also share
an exercise to get you started on discovering the ones that have already
taken place in your life.
How to Spot Synchronicity
The universe will often use synchronicity to communicate with us in our
daily lives, and I’ve uncovered three scenarios, or themes, as the most
common ways they show up. These include providing reassurance ,
which is a way to let us know we are on the right path; wake up and
notice , offering gentle nudges to alert us about something that will be
helpful either now or in the near future; and guidance and direction ,
which point us down the path toward our highest good, setting us up for
the future.
The first two use the same method to get our attention: repetition.
When you see something repeating in your life, whether it’s a certain
topic, brand name, type of doctor, name of a doctor, type of diet, book
title, author, or the same number sequence, this is always something to
pay attention to and take some type of action on. I’ve found many people
worry if they are making the right decision or choosing the right road, so
they don’t take any action for fear it’s the wrong one. But I assure you,
the universe is working for you 24/7 and if you head down the wrong
path, it will simply redirect you. It’s always better to take action than to not
take any action because when you do, you allow the universe to continue
directing you forward.
If you get the name of a doctor two times in one week from two
different sources, then take the action to look them up online and make
the appointment. Maybe that doctor isn’t right for you, but you end up
meeting someone in the waiting room who recommends you to
something else that can help. If you waited on acting, that meeting might
not have taken place, and then the universe has to go about arranging
something else for you, praying you will act on that! The universe will
never give up on you. It will continue to send you the same message until
you get it. And when you don’t, it will try a different avenue. Let’s take a
detailed look at each of the three ways synchronicity shows up.
1: Providing Reassurance
Have you ever wondered if you were making the right decision about
something important in your life? Maybe you are looking to move to a
new home, accept a new job offer, take a trip to Hawaii, or start a new
diet, and you wonder if you should be doing it. Is that new neighborhood
right for you? Will you be happy at the new company? Should you spend
the money and take the time off to visit Hawaii now? Is paleo really the
right diet for you?
It’s human nature to question our choices and worry we might be
headed in the wrong direction. But when we can open ourselves up to the
guidance available to each and every one of us—guidance I believe we
knew was there when we made the decision to incarnate into a human
body and take this miraculous journey on earth—this worry dissipates,
and we can feel more secure in the decisions we make. In fact, even
when we remain unsure, we can move forward with faith that, no matter
what, all will be well. The universe is always operating for our highest
good and will reroute us if we make a wrong turn. This faith becomes
easier and easier as you wake up to these miracles.
The first way synchronicity shows up for us is to help in these
scenarios and provide reassurance we are on the right path. I think of it
as the universe or our angels and guides saying, “Hello, I’m here and
helping/encouraging you. Move forward with faith in the direction you are
headed.” Here is an example of how something like this would play out in
your daily life:
Lately you have been hearing a lot about the health benefits of drinking
green juice in the morning. People are posting about it on social media,
including people you admire and follow, and so you think to yourself, “I
should get a juicer and start adding this into my morning routine.” But you
don’t buy the juicer yet. That week you wander into a bookstore and over
to the bargain table, featuring books on a variety of topics. As you are
browsing through, you see a book titled 101 Green Juice Recipes to
Transform Your Health . You think, “That’s weird. I was just thinking
about green juice.” You buy the book, and it sits on your kitchen table for
the next week.
Then you sit down to watch some television, and as you are flipping
through the channels, you come across the documentary “Fat, Sick &
Nearly Dead,” which chronicles the journey of Joe Cross, who used
juicing to regain his health—going from being 100 pounds overweight,
relying on steroids, and suffering from a debilitating autoimmune disease
to being happy and healthy. Again, you think, “Wow, I really should start
drinking that green juice.” A few days later, a friend calls and tells you
she bought a brand-new juicer and has been drinking green juice each
morning for the past week with amazing results. You tell her all the things
that have been happening and vow to finally get online and order that
juicer. And you do.
Can you see how the universe continued to give you signs pointing you
in the direction of green juice in that example? When we have an idea
that will be beneficial to us and move us toward more health, joy,
abundance, and love, the universe will work overtime to make sure we
act on it. It will continue to put signs in front of us to remind and reassure
us of something worth pursuing. Sometimes two or more signs show up
over a matter of weeks or even months, and other times they can happen
within the same day. In fact, I’ve had them happen within the same hour
and sometimes even less.
For example, I had been working on a number of projects for my
business, and as I was out running errands one day, I found myself
worrying if I was on the right path and putting my focus on developing the
right things at the time. I got back into my car to head home and looked
at the clock. The time was 4:44. I know the universe and our angels
communicate with us through numbers, especially when we see one
number repeated, such as 11:11 or 2:22. I quickly grabbed my phone and
looked up the meaning of 4:44. On Joanne Sacred Scribes’s website, this
is what I found:
The number 4 resonates with the vibrations of the Archangels…
inner wisdom, determination, endurance, hard work and progress.
It also represents our passion and drive and encourages us to
achieve our goals and aspirations…Angel number 444 asks that
you pay attention to your intuition and inner wisdom as your
connection to the angels and the angelic realm is very strong at
this time. You are encouraged to continue on your current path as
your drive and determination will lead to success and fulfillment.
It also said:
You have nothing to fear in regards to your life, work and divine life
purpose and soul mission…Angel number 444 brings a message
that ‘all is well.’ Trust that you are on the correct life path and doing
a great job. 6
This message resonated deeply with me. I realized the angels knew
what I was thinking and had directed me to the message so I could stop
worrying and doubting my choices as I had been doing that day. I started
the car and drove home, and just as I was pulling into my driveway, the
Sarah McLachlan song “Angel” came on the radio, which talks about an
angel and finding peace. Now, not only did this song reinforce that angels
were around me, but it also happens to be a song that my mother often
uses to let me know she is around me. It was two messages in one!
2: Wake Up and Notice
For so many of us, life has become so fast-paced. We run through our
days, get caught up in routines, and don’t even look up when we are
walking somewhere because we are busy looking down at our cell
phones. Because of this, it’s very easy to miss the answers and insights
around us that could be helpful or even life-changing. That is why the
universe will use signs and synchronicity to help us wake up and notice
the important things we are too busy to pay attention to in our daily life. I
view these as gentle nudges telling us where to go or what to do next for
our highest good and happiness.
Just as in the last example, where the universe used repetition to clue
us in to a message, the same thing applies here. Sometimes it’s a clue
that crosses our path once and we never think about it again, and other
times it’s something entirely new to us that we have never thought about
or seen before.
A great example of this from my own life happened in the summer of
2016. I was reviewing books and was reading one that mentioned the
Kirtan Kriya meditation. I had heard about this meditation many times in
the past and even read scientific research published in the Journal of
Alzheimer’s Disease , 7 revealing it improved brain functioning, memory,
and mood. I made a mental note to look into it soon.
The next day I was in my office going through another stack of books
sent for review when I picked one up randomly and started looking
through the chapters. Suddenly, I found myself face-to-face with the
Kirtan Kriya meditation—again. “Wow,” I thought. “I seriously need to look
into this meditation.” I put it down and picked up the next book, which had
to do with spirituality in business. It did not appear to have anything to do
with yoga or meditation. I opened to a random page, and guess what was
staring back at me? An illustration for the Kirtan Kriya meditation. My
mouth dropped open in disbelief and my eyes nearly popped out of my
head as chills went down my spine.
“Okay, I get it.” I said out loud to the universe and whoever else was
trying to get my attention. “I’ll try practicing the Kirtan Kriya. In fact, I’ll
look up more about it right now .”
Here are just a few of the benefits I discovered:
Stimulates the pineal and pituitary glands to balance the mind
Studies show it improved memory
Enhances brain blood flow
Improves brain chemistry
Helps break mental patterns holding us back
Heightens intuition
Helps release past trauma
After three mentions of the Kirtan Kriya in twenty-four hours—with two
happening only minutes apart—I knew this was something important for
me to pursue. I researched the meditation technique, watched a few
videos online, and then downloaded a free Kirtan Kriya Timer app to my
cell phone. I fell in love with it. Now I teach it to others based on what I’ve
learned. In fact, I’ll be sharing exactly how to do the meditation in Chapter
9 , and you can watch a video I made to guide you at the link in the
resources section on page 6 .
In addition to waking us up to something new, sometimes the universe
will use synchronicity in this way to wake up and redirect us when we’re
headed in the wrong direction. Think of the universe as a GPS that will
reroute you if you make a wrong turn. This is why taking some type of
action forward is always better than standing still because even if the
action you take isn’t the perfect one, it will lead you to the right place.
Taking action will always get us where we want to go faster than not
taking any action at all.
For example, have you ever had a relationship, either romantic or
friendly, that you knew in your heart was not healthy for you? The person
might be an energy vampire, where after spending time with them or
talking on the phone you feel depleted and exhausted. They might be
jealous of you and make you feel bad when good things happen to you,
or stop you from moving forward on things that would be beneficial for
you because it wouldn’t be beneficial for them. Maybe you have even
walked away a couple of times but keep finding yourself going back. This
happens in both romantic relationships and friendships, especially to
those of us who are empathic and tend to take on the energy of other
people or the environments we visit. If you are in a situation that is not
healthy for you, the universe will do all it can to help you move out of that
scenario once and for all, and it will continue to try until you do.
I’ve had relationships like this, and I can think of one friendship in
particular that very much served a purpose in my life and was beneficial
at one time but that had become unhealthy for me. It was draining and
exhausting, yet each time there was a chance to exit, I would reopen the
door and let this person back into my life. After the second or third time of
reopening the door, I was forced to shut it, and I now know the universe
had a big hand in that happening. This is how it played out.
While texting a friend of mine and complaining about the person I was
in an unhealthy friendship with, I “accidentally” sent it to the person I was
talking about instead of my friend. I put that word accidentally in quotes
here because I know there are no accidents. Thank goodness I didn’t say
anything terrible in the text, but it was obvious I was texting someone
else about her, and she was furious. She told me the friendship was over
and that she would be blocking my texts and calls from now on.
I was very upset at the time and couldn’t believe I had made such a
mistake. However, knowing that everything happens for a reason, I let it
go and surrendered the situation to the universe. Ten months later, I was
in the kitchen washing dishes, and a mug I had bought for both my friend
and myself slipped off the counter and broke into pieces. I didn’t think
anything about it until the next day when I got a letter in the mail from her
reaching out in an effort to start the friendship again. I knew right away
that the mug breaking was the universe’s way of telling me the friendship
was truly over and opening the door again would be a mistake for both of
us. In fact, as the cliché goes, when God closes a door, he opens a
window. Once this friendship ended, I had more time to devote to other
friends and started spending more time with my best friend from high
school, Sandi. A couple weeks after the mug-breaking incident, Sandi
introduced me to the man who would become my husband.
3: Guidance and Direction
The universe is always setting us up for the future. We don’t know what
is coming next, but the universe and our angels, guides, and loved ones
on the other side—where there is no time and space—know it all. As
events in our life play out, we don’t often notice how one event or
circumstance connects with another. Most of the time, these connections
can only be seen by looking backward. As you begin to open your
awareness and see these connections in your past, you will begin to
have more faith and peace in your future, no matter what happens to you,
and you will also uncover the connections as they unfold in the future
much easier, too.
Apple founder Steve Jobs said it best during his June 2005 Stanford
University commencement speech where he alluded to synchronicity and
how the universe always has a plan for us:
You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect
them looking backwards. So, you have to trust that the dots will
somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something—
your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the
dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to
follow your heart even when it leads you off the well-worn path,
and that will make all the difference. 8
Once you begin to connect the dots in your own life, and I will show
you how to start with an exercise at the end of this chapter and another
one in Chapter 8 , you won’t be able to look at life and the events in it the
same way.
For instance, leading up to my mother’s death, there were so many
circumstances that occurred to prepare myself and my family for her
passing and our ability to cope with it. The month before she died, my
therapist suggested I bring my father into a session because we were
never very close when I was younger. I used to joke that we didn’t speak
until I was in the third grade, but he honestly wasn’t much of a talker
when I was growing up. My mother was the buffer between us and she
called the shots in our house. She was always the one my sister and I
went to for anything. My dad worked all day, came home around 6:30
p.m., ate dinner, watched television, and went to bed.
I remember how uncomfortable I was when I asked him to come with
me to see my therapist, and then taking the half-hour ride to the
appointment together. He was my dad and I loved him, but in a sense, he
felt like a stranger to me. There was an energetic distance between us.
However, after that session, the energy actually shifted. I felt more
connected with him and there was more of an ease between us. Of
course, I had no idea it would be just him and I living in the house
together only one month later after my mother died—but the universe did.
Looking back, it was no accident that session happened at the exact time
it did. It made the transition to life without my mother—who my father
leaned on just as much as my sister and I did—a bit easier. Today, our
relationship is so much more connected than it ever was before, and it all
started with that one session.
Even the timing of my eating disorder played into the preparation for
my mother’s death. My struggle was at its worst in the year before her
death, and because of my fear of food, gaining weight, and feeling out of
control, I isolated myself a lot that year. I didn’t want to be in social
situations where I would have to face food or worry what people were
thinking of me. Instead of going out with friends and socializing, as most
twentyone-year-old girls would do, I hung out with my mother. In fact, we spent
more time together that year than ever before. We watched movies, went
shopping, talked, and grew even closer. I’m actually grateful to my eating
disorder for granting me that time with her before she was gone and
leading me to a therapist who not only ignited a new connection with my
father, but who also would help me tremendously in dealing with my
mother’s sudden death. You see how it all fits together in perfect timing?
Guided to Love
I’ll give you one more example before I share an exercise to get you
started on uncovering these connections in your own life. Three years
ago, after not dating anyone for a couple of years, I decided at thirtyseven years old it was time I opened my heart to new love. I opened an
email from a friend sharing that the new moon was coming up and for my
astrological sign of Virgo it was perfect for manifesting love. New moons
are said to be the ideal times for setting intentions to manifest what you
desire, so I decided to perform a ritual that would set my intention and
bring new love into my life.
On a snowy night in February, I made a list of all the attributes I wanted
my perfect guy to have, including a love of cats, an open mind to my
spiritual views, a family that loved me and that I loved in return, and
someone who would adore me as much as I adored him. I made a copy
of the list and tucked it away so I would have it to look back on in the
future—something I had learned from interviewing Arielle Ford for her
book The Soulmate Secret —and I headed outside to the back porch so I
could burn my list in an old slow cooker to release the intention out to the
universe. Yes, you read that correctly. I burned it in a slow cooker on my
back porch! I let it go and didn’t give much thought to it after that.
Seven months later, after persuasion from my sister, I hired an online
dating coach. Part of the package was a professional photo shoot, help
creating an online profile on various dating websites, and weekly phone
calls to go over the results. I had just started the process and had not
even put up my profiles yet when out of the blue my friend Sandi texted
me a picture of this guy in a red shirt, asking if I thought he was cute. It
turns out a coworker of hers had been talking about this guy named Ryan
on and off for months because Ryan was good friends with his wife.
When Sandi asked to see his picture, she thought of me and asked if he
was single.
I thought he seemed cute from the picture and agreed she could send
him my picture and phone number. I figured since I was starting on this
dating journey, I might as well give it a shot. And guess what? He is now
my husband, and he fulfilled almost every item on that list. I went on a
couple dates through the dating websites since I had paid for the coach
and she encouraged me to keep my options open, but the more I saw
and talked to Ryan, the less desire I had to date anyone else. I just wish
the universe could have arranged this so I hadn’t blown money on the
dating coach, but it was a small price to pay for true love!
Why am I telling you this story? Let’s analyze the moving parts of this
to connect the dots:
My friend Sandi had been in her new job for a year before
she introduced me to Ryan.
She got the job because a friend of my aunt had mentioned
her company was looking to hire someone. Knowing Sandi
was unhappy in her current job, she told her about the
opportunity. If it wasn’t for my aunt or her friend, Sandi might
not have starting working there.
Just as I set the intention to actively seek love and hired a
dating coach—which opened me up to the energy of seeking
and finding a soulmate—Sandi thought of me when her
coworker mentioned Ryan, even though he had been talking
about him for months.
Ryan was going through a divorce, and at the time I did my
manifestation ritual, he would not have been ready for a new
relationship. The universe knew when the timing was right
months later.
Now, if that is not proof enough that there is a secret order to our life
and that the universe knows exactly what it’s doing, then buckle up
because you won’t believe what I’m about to tell you next. This entire
scenario of me finding love actually started more than ten years before I
ever met Ryan—and my mother had a hand in it from the other side.
Four years after visiting George Anderson, my sister heard about a
medium named Concetta Bertoldi who gave readings out of her home in
New Jersey. She came highly recommended, so we decided to make an
appointment for the two of us to get another reading together. I was
twenty-six years old at the time and had just ended a tumultuous
romantic relationship, so at the end of the reading Concetta asked if we
had any questions for my mother. I wanted to know what she thought
about the relationship I had been in. After sharing how glad she was that
I was no longer with that guy, she shared very specific details about the
man I would marry someday.
“She said you will know the man you are going to marry someday
because he will wear some type of uniform,” Concetta shared, relaying
the message from my mother. “It doesn’t have to be a military or police
uniform. He might just work for the town or something, but he wears a
uniform for work. He also works with his hands. He is very good with his
hands and can fix things around the house.”
Shortly after I met Ryan, I discovered he worked as a chemical
engineer for a refinery that required him to wear a head-to-toe uniform
when working in certain conditions. And he not only worked with his
hands, but he also had a home improvement business, remodeling
kitchens, bathrooms, basements, and more. He can fix or build just about
anything and is amazing at it. Prior to meeting him, nobody I dated fit the
description she gave me that day.
Now it’s time to take the first step on your journey to uncovering these
miracles in your own life. This exercise will be a useful tool for you
moving forward, and it has helped me and my students uncover so many
connections from the past. When I started looking back on my own life
and trying to connect the dots, a friend suggested I do a timeline of my
life. I started this exercise and could not believe the things I discovered!
For example, I knew my mother was aware of the medium George
Anderson and his book Lessons from the Light before she died because
my sister’s friend brought it to my parents’ house one night, where we all
discussed it. However, it wasn’t until I started working on the timeline that
I realized his book had been published only six months before she died. I
had no idea at the time that my sister and I would be driving to Long
Island for a reading with him to talk to my mother after she passed—but
the universe did.
6 . Joanne Sacred Scribes, “Joanne Sacred Scribes ANGEL NUMBER 444.” 10 September 2011,
sacredscribesangelnumbers.blogspot.com/2011/09/angel-number-444.html.
7 . “Meditation and Music May Help Reverse Early Memory Loss in Adults at Risk for Alzheimer’s
Disease,” Journal of Alzheimer’s Disease , www.j-alz.com/content/meditation-and-music-may-helpreverse-early-memory-loss-adults-risk-alzheimer%E2%80%99s-disease.
8 . Stanford University, “Text of Steve Jobs’ Commencement Address (2005).” Stanford News , 12 June
2017, news.stanford.edu/2005/06/14/jobs-061505/.
Exercise
My Life Timeline
This exercise is the first step in beginning to uncover
synchronicities in your past so you can start connecting the dots
and realizing that everything in your life—both the positive and
negative—is happening for your ultimate good.
Starting with the day you were born, write down any significant
events in your life. Next to each event, put the date—the month
and year, if you can remember both. Possible events can include:
birth of friends and family members
death of friends and family members
when you met friends or coworkers who were important to
you
when friendships ended
romantic relationship beginning and end dates
graduations
starting or ending jobs
meeting new people
any traumatic experiences
starting a business
moving to a new house, town, state, or country
This list does not have to be done in one time period. It can be a
document you go back to from time to time and fill in other events
as they come to you. As you look over each event or milestone on
the list, see if you can start connecting the dots between them.
Then keep this list handy because we will dive in deeper with the
Follow the Footsteps exercise in Chapter 8 .
While reading this chapter, did my examples spark a memory from your
own past or help you to start connecting the dots that led you to where
you are now? The above exercise will help you a lot with this. Remember
that the universe loves to use repetition, so start paying attention to
things you see showing up again and again. Next, we are going to look
closer at signs, including how the universe and your angels, guides, and
loved ones use them to help you, and I’ll present an exercise to jumpstart
the flow of them into your life.
[contents]
All you have to do is
pay attention; lessons always arrive when you are ready, and if you can read
the signs, you will learn everything you need to know in order to take the next
step.
PAULO COELHO
Chapter 4
Signs Everywhere
It’s through our thoughts and the emotions accompanying them that we
communicate to the universe our desires and wants. This is also the way
we create what we see in our lives. Everything around you—the
circumstances, situations, and people in your life—is based on the
thoughts and feelings you send out every day. Many teachers and
authors of spiritual and personal development focus on changing our
thoughts because it does indeed change our lives. These are the basics
of the law of attraction, which has become a well-known law thanks to so
many teachers and resources available today.
But there is another side to that coin. While we communicate to the
universe through our thoughts and emotions, the universe also
communicates back to provide answers and solutions, especially when
we ask for help. One of its primary methods to do that is through the use
of signs. Our loved ones who have passed on also use signs to
communicate with us. They are always trying to let us know they are
around, to help direct us toward our highest good, and to simply show us
they know what is going on in our lives and that their love continues on
from the other side.
In this chapter I’m going to share how signs can show up for us,
common ways our loved ones communicate with us (no, you don’t have
to be psychic or a medium to receive the communication), as well as how
to decipher who might be sending the sign and the meaning behind it. I’ll
also share an exercise to get you started.
Why Use Signs?
When we communicate to the universe through our thoughts and
emotions or by directly asking for assistance, the universe immediately
gets to work on bringing about the things we ask for, whether we are
doing it consciously or unconsciously. It begins lining up opportunities,
people, and circumstances to help us achieve what we desire, and it
uses signs to grab our attention and alert us to the answers. It’s our job to
recognize this help when it arrives so we can be sure to act on it.
A sign might come as a new thought that suddenly pops into your head
to do something specific, like call someone who then leads you to an
answer you’re seeking, or as email inviting you to an event where you
meet someone who can help you find a new job. Even the postcard
someone leaves on your car’s windshield about a new organic dry
cleaner opening in your area after you were just reading about the toxins
of regular dry cleaning the night before is a sign. They are all meant to
direct you on your path. If you ignore the thought that pops in your head,
choose not to go to the event from the email, or throw the dry cleaning
postcard on the ground and get into your car, you are missing the clues
and also the opportunities these signs can lead you to next.
Don’t get me wrong—as I’ve said before, the universe won’t give up on
you. It will keep sending you signs and signals and trying to get through.
For example, if you ignore the email inviting you to the event where
someone can help you get a new job, the universe will organize another
way for you to meet that person or find someone else to get you there. If
you ignore or miss that opportunity, it will try again. The hope is you will
eventually follow one of the signs and move toward the direction you are
meant to go. But this will delay you moving in the right direction and delay
the happiness undoubtedly waiting for you when you finally do. And who
wants to wait for more joy and the flow of good things into our lives? I
know I don’t, and I’m guessing you don’t either. But you don’t have to
wait. Once you start recognizing the signs and acting on them with faith
(which grows the more you notice and act on them), not only does life
flow more smoothly, but you also begin to feel the love and protection the
universe has for you at all times. I believe this makes life much more
beautiful and magical. Below are some of the reasons the universe will
use signs to communicate to us.
Provide a Solution or Answer
When you need a solution to a problem or a challenge, the universe
will use signs to direct you toward the answer. It could be placing the
right person in your path, leading you to the perfect book that can help, or
placing you within the right distance to overhear a random conversation
at the grocery store. This happens even without us asking for help
because the universe and our guides and angels are always working on
our behalf. However, when you start creating a dialogue with the universe
and asking for help, you will get and notice even more.
Respond to Your Request
There are times when you will specifically call in your angels and
guides, and to respond, they will use signs to lead you to the answer or
the assistance you need. This is also true when asking for help on behalf
of someone else. For example, my husband is a huge MotoGP fan, which
is Grand Prix motorcycle racing, and a couple of years ago he decided to
go to a live race in Texas. He couldn’t find anyone who could go with him,
so he booked the four-day trip figuring he would just make friends while
he was there. He really does have the uncanny ability to do this, by the
way. He strikes up conversations with anyone and everyone he meets. I
really wanted him to have a great time so the day he left, I called on his
angels, guides, and loved ones on the other side and asked that they
keep him safe and protected, as well as help him find people to enjoy the
races with while he was there.
The opening morning of the race, he woke up early and was one of the
first to arrive at the track. He wore a T-shirt representing his favorite rider,
Valentino Rossi, and was the only car parked in the lot. While waiting for
the track to open, he noticed a car pulled up right beside him, even
though the entire area had open parking spaces. He glanced over and
saw the people inside the car were also wearing Valentino Rossi gear.
They noticed him too, and they struck up a conversation. It turns out this
group gets together every year to go to this specific race, and they not
only showed him around the track, but they even gave him passes to get
into the pit area to meet the drivers and get autographs. He got two
autographs from his favorite driver, and now they all meet up every year
for the race. Coincidence? Of course not. I asked for him to be safe, meet
people, and have an amazing time. The universe orchestrated this
meeting so he could do just that, and his sign was the matching Valentino
Rossi gear everyone had on. Without that, he might not have stopped to
chat with them.
Reassurance
Often the universe will use signs to let you know you’re on the right
path and to keep moving forward in the direction you’re currently headed.
Have you ever made the decision to do something and then questioned
that decision? Have you ever started moving toward something and then
worried you might be doing the wrong thing? Wouldn’t it be nice if
someone could say to you, “Yes, that is right. Go do it and enjoy it”?
We all want certainty. We want to know we are not headed toward a
huge mistake that will set us back for months or years. And the universe
and our angels and guides want to give it to us, so they send us signs. A
perfect example of this was a student of mine who attended a live
workshop with me on signs and synchronicities in New Jersey. She
received a cancer diagnosis shortly afterwards and was given a
recommendation for a doctor who specialized in treating her form of
cancer, which was lymphoma. She was worried whether he was the right
doctor for her. One afternoon, she was sitting in a diner talking about the
doctor with her family when someone sitting at the booth next to her
overheard the doctor’s name. He walked over to her table to introduce
himself and explained that the doctor she was talking about had saved
his life when he received the same diagnosis. She couldn’t believe it, but
remembering my class, she moved forward knowing the universe sent
that man to her as a sign.
Intervene
If you happen to make a wrong turn while following the navigation
system in your car, what does it do? It reroutes you. Making the wrong
turn may cause your trip to take a little longer because now you have to
take extra time to get back on the right path, but you will still get to your
ultimate destination. What that navigation system is doing is intervening
on your behalf so you don’t continue to go the wrong way and add hours
to your trip—or, worse, not even make it to your intended destination.
The universe does the same thing when it sees you heading the wrong
way. It uses signs to stop and redirect you. Let’s say you want to book a
hotel for a family vacation but you keep getting distracted from actually
booking it. Then a friend tells you there was an outbreak of bed bugs
where you were planning to go, and you think, “Wow, it’s a good thing I
didn’t book it yet.” That’s the universe intervening on your behalf.
Common Signs from the Universe
Sometimes a sign we get will be obvious and related specifically to a
situation we are facing, like my student running into someone at the diner
who used her doctor or fellow Valentino Rossi fans pulling up next to my
husband at the race. But the universe and our angels and guides will also
use common symbols or signs to grasp our attention and get a message
across to us, so let’s look at some common signs you can start paying
attention to when they cross your path.
Numbers
One of the most common ways the universe and our angels and
guides communicate with us is through the use of numbers. This could
be a number that is significant to us, such as our birthday, a number
repeated in a sequence (such as 222, 444, or 1111), or even a specific
grouping of numbers that you keep seeing over and over (such as 1234).
These numbers can show up when we look at the clock, check a receipt
from a store, glance at a license plate in front of us, or anything else you
come across on your daily path. At any point during my day, when I
check the time and see 11:11, 1:11, 2:22, 3:33, 4:44, and 5:55, I always
stop and smile, knowing my angels are around me.
Also, if I continue to see a particular number sequence over and over,
I always look it up on the internet to discover what the meaning is behind
that number and sequence. For example, 111 is often a message from
our angels regarding manifestation and to be more mindful of the
thoughts we are putting out into the world because they are manifesting
quickly. The number 444 is usually to let you know your angels are
around you, supporting and guiding you at the moment to work toward
your goals. There are a ton of websites online dedicated to helping you
understand the meaning of numbers as guidance from your angels, so
trust that you will be directed to the right one. I always find a direct
relation to something going on in my life when I look up a number that
keeps appearing before me.
Animals
The universe also uses animals to communicate with us, whether it is
an animal doing something out of the ordinary in our presence or seeing
a specific animal pop up on our radar more than once. For example, for
the third time in a week you come across a grasshopper—first on the
hood of your car, then inside a grocery store, and lastly perched on the
porch of your home. Grasshoppers have been known to symbolize good
luck, wealth, and even fertility. They also show up to encourage you to
take a leap of faith without fear, since grasshoppers can only leap
forward and not backward. Different animals and insects hold different
metaphysical meanings; again, I encourage you to look up the
metaphysical meaning of whatever animal keeps popping up on your
path or doing something unusual.
A perfect example of this happened to me when I went to a local
Starbucks to get some work done. My husband and stepson were home
that day, and I was on a work deadline. At the time we lived in a small
townhouse, and in order to find the quiet I needed for this project, I knew
I had to leave the house. Sitting in a comfortable brown leather chair with
my tea on the table to my left, I plugged away at my computer. Out of the
corner of my eye, I kept seeing a fly buzzing around me. It was a pretty
big Starbucks, and I was all the way in the back. I assumed since the
place was so big, the fly would eventually be on its way to another
section or to another person. I was wrong. I remember thinking, “This fly
must be in love with me because he’s not leaving my side.”
He crawled next to me and my drink, and I swear I caught him staring
at me. He buzzed in front of me. He buzzed behind me. He never actually
got in my way or landed on me or my computer, but he was doing
enough to attract my attention. At one point I even texted my husband,
“I’m being harassed by a fly. Just thought I should share.” Well, over two
hours passed and this fly was still hanging out with me—and then it hit
me. This fly has an entire coffee shop to roam around in, but he is
sticking with me. There must be a reason.
With my computer right there, I looked up the metaphysical meaning of
a fly, and the message was that my persistence in trying to reach my
goals (the reason I was working there in the first place) would pay off
soon, and that even if accomplishing them will annoy others or require
me to be selfish for a while, it would be worth it. That is exactly how I was
feeling. I was feeling guilty and selfish because my family was home
having fun, and here I was working. This fly was letting me know, “Hey
Tammy, it’s cool. You are doing the right thing. Keep moving.” It was the
message I didn’t even realize I needed to hear, but once I heard it, it
made all the difference. And you know what? As soon as I got the
message, the fly flew away and never came back. Message received,
little fly. Thank you for your help. I share this to tell you not to discount
anything as a sign because even an annoying fly may have a message
for you.
Sudden Ideas or Solutions
We often think the new and brilliant idea we came up with or the
solution we discovered came from our own minds, but very often the
universe or our angels and guides are behind it. They can place thoughts
into our head or guide us in the right direction, especially when we ask for
help with something and then suddenly come up with an answer. For
example, one day while my husband was at work, our water heater was
being replaced, and after the new one was installed, I noticed the heat
had stopped working. The water heater was fine, but now the house had
no heat.
I asked the service people to check on it before they left, but they could
not figure it out, and when I called my husband at work, he had no clue
what was wrong. I tried a bunch of ideas he came up with to fix it, but
none of them worked. He was not looking forward to spending the rest of
his night trying to fix this, and we both hung up the phone frustrated. An
hour later, he called me back and told me to go check the breaker to
make sure one of the fuses hadn’t tripped. Sure enough, that was it: a
simple fix. He said, “I decided to say a prayer and ask for help with this
so it could be fixed easily, and shortly after that I thought of the one thing
we hadn’t tried yet.” That is how it works!
White Feathers
A very popular sign from our angels is seeing white feathers. Our loved
ones may use feathers as well, but I find angels especially use feathers
to let us know they are around us and helping to support us in any way
we need because our minds relate feathers with them and their
presence. They can show up on the sidewalk, in your home, at the
restaurant or the store, but know that white feathers are always a sign of
guidance and love.
Song
If you hear a song that seems like it’s speaking to you and an issue
you are struggling with, or offering encouragement in some way, know
the universe, our angels and guides will often use music and songs to get
your attention. It’s their way of speaking to you and offering you advice
and support. Our loved ones will often use this form of communication as
well (see below for more on signs from loved ones in Spirit).
People
I’m a huge believer in earth angels. These are people who are driven to
do things, say things, or offer things to us at the right time and the right
place. They may not even realize it, but the universe is using them to
help us in some way at the exact moment we need it. The universe is
always trying to direct us to the right people, places, and opportunities
that will help us on our path.
When your car breaks down on the side of the highway and you have
no idea what to do, the universe will send a mechanic to pull over and
help you. When you are lost in a new city and can’t find the right building,
your angels will send you someone who is going to the same building
and will walk you there. When you walk up to a store clerk and ask for
help finding a particular item and she leads you to a product that is even
better than what you were looking for, your guides have placed her in
your path to direct you to something new. When you attend a lecture and
someone sits down next to you and strikes up a conversation that leads
to a new job, that was arranged by the universe.
Odds are you played the role of earth angel in someone else’s life, too.
Know that nobody crosses your path by accident. Even the people who
drive you crazy and push your buttons have a lesson to teach you.
Communication from Loved Ones
After my mother died, I used to share with people how I received many
signs from her, whether through my dreams or in my waking daily life. I
would always hear the same thing from them: “You are so lucky. I wish I
got signs like that from my [father, brother, mother, grandmother].” At first
I thought, “Gosh, I guess I am lucky.” But I realized it had nothing to do
with luck. It had to do with me being open to the signs, noticing them, and
accepting them when they came, and that although I love my mother
dearly and she will always be a superhero to me, I don’t think she has
powers that allow her to communicate better than other spirits on the
other side. I believe every one of our loved ones are communicating with
us, and if someone says they never received a sign, I know it’s just that
the messages are not getting through. This set me off on a path to figure
out what people could do to start receiving the signs just like I was and
ultimately led to this book in your hands.
Here are some common ways our loved ones will communicate with
us:
Electronics/Technology
In spirit form, when we shed our physical body and our soul crosses
over to the other side, we are pure energy. That means our loved ones
can manipulate energy and also draw on energy sources when they are
around us. Light bulbs flickering or totally burning out when you are
talking or thinking about them; televisions or radios going on and off by
themselves; computers turning on or words typed on them that you didn’t
type; the telephone ringing with nobody there; and even missed calls on
a cell phone. A year after my father’s friend Susan died, he saw a missed
call from her on his cell phone. He told me about it and couldn’t believe it
was her reaching out from the other side, so he called her husband and
asked if it was him who called. It wasn’t.
Songs on the Radio
When a song comes on the radio that your loved one liked, has lyrics
that remind you of them, or makes you think of them when you hear it,
this is a way your loved one is trying to communicate with you. It could be
in the car, at home, or in the grocery store, but if it catches your attention
and you think of them, it’s a sign.
After my mother passed away, my sister kept hearing the song “I Hope
You Dance” by Lee Ann Womack and made me listen to it because she
felt it was a message from our mom. To this day, every time I hear that
song, I know my mom is around me, and it’s usually when I am upset
about something or trying to decide whether or not to do something.
When I hear it, I know she is saying, “Go dance, Tammy. Don’t let fear
hold you back. Live your life and move forward.” It never fails to come on
the radio when I need to hear it. My friends know the song holds a
special meaning for me and will often call me when they hear it. One time
I was on a business call, trying to decide if I should move forward with a
new project, and a friend texted me that the song came on as she was
sitting in the waiting room at her doctor’s office, and she felt it was a sign
for me. I knew that was my mother encouraging me to move forward with
the project. I did, and it was a huge success.
Another example relates to the late New York Times best-selling author
and spiritual teacher Debbie Ford. Elevated Existence Magazine honored
her with an award after her death, and I interviewed her friends and
coworkers for the accompanying article. Her personal assistant and
friend Julie Stroud shared a story with me that illustrates the power of our
loved ones using songs as a sign. She shared that shortly before our
interview, she was driving in the car and thinking about some issues she
was struggling with, when the song currently playing on the radio
suddenly stopped. Next, the Helen Reddy song “I Am Woman” came on
—a song that was completely uncharacteristic of that radio station. This
song was featured in Ford’s book Courage , and Stroud said Ford played
the song over and over while she was writing the book. The song played
all the way through and then the station went back to its regular
programming.
A Familiar Scent
Did your grandmother wear a certain perfume or your uncle a certain
cologne, and when you smell it, you immediately think of them? Did your
dad smoke a pipe or a cigar, and when you smell it, it reminds you of
him? Our loved ones will use our sense of smell to get our attention and
let us know they are around us, and they will often use a fragrance that
relates to them. If your sister always wore a fragrance that smelled like
fresh roses and you are alone in your home with all the windows closed
in the middle of winter with no flowers in sight and suddenly get the
strong fragrance of roses, that is your sister grabbing your attention to let
you know she’s there. Maybe your mother cleaned with a pine-scented
fragrance all the time and that scent greeted you when you walked into
her home. Suddenly, out of the blue you smell pine one night and can’t
find the source of it. Say hello to your mom because it’s her.
Also, you may smell something familiar you can’t put your finger on, but
to you it just smells like your loved one. This happens to me from time to
time and the only way I can explain it is to say, “I just smell my mom.” I’ve
had this happen to me many times in my life, often when I’m going
through something difficult like when I had my wisdom teeth removed,
and I immediately know she is there to comfort me. Pay attention to
smells around you and know this a big way your loved ones can
communicate with you from the other side.
Their Name or Birthdate
What better way to let you know they are around and to get your
attention than to use their name? Whether you hear someone call out
their name at the mall, on the radio, while watching television, or at the
local coffee shop, stop and pay attention. The same is true if you come
across their name on a license plate, on social media, or in a magazine
article you are reading. Whenever I hear my mother’s name, I
immediately smile and say hello to her because I know it means she’s
around.
One time I was in the emergency room with my aunt Neva, my
mother’s sister. She had recently undergone gallbladder surgery and kept
spiking a fever, so we wanted to make sure there wasn’t any infection. I
was sitting right below a television in a small exam area waiting with her
for the doctor. Neither of us were watching it, but as we sat there in
silence, I suddenly heard the talk show host call out the name Maryann.
Smiling, I looked at my aunt and said, “You will be fine.”
“Why do you say that?” she asked.
“Because I just heard my mom’s name on the television so I know she
is here and everything will be fine.” And it was.
Your loved ones will also use their birthdate to let you know they are
around, whether it’s on a receipt you get from a store, a number on a
license plate, or an address. When my husband and I were buying our
first home together, we were trying to decide if the one we were thinking
of purchasing was the right one. We decided to buy it, and later I realized
the ending three digits of the zip code were 059—my mom’s birthdate of
May 9. I smiled, knowing my mother approved of the decision, and I felt
like a piece of her would be with me in the home.
A Symbol Related to Them
It could be their favorite flower, cartoon character, a specific animal or
breed of animal they liked, or something you had a private joke about—if
it relates to them in some way and makes you think about them, then
they will use it to get your attention. If your mother’s favorite flower was a
daisy and you pull up to a building for a job interview where the entire
outside is lined with daisies, know she is there with you and the interview
will likely go well. One time I was teaching a class on signs and
synchronicities and giving examples. I happened to mention a squirrel,
which I had never done before, but it popped into my mind. After class, a
student told me her husband who had passed loved squirrels and
whenever she saw one she would think of him. I knew her husband put
that thought into my head to let her know he was there.
I had a friend who would always think of her father anytime she saw
Disney’s Donald and Daisy Duck because he always bought her cards
and toys related to them when she was younger. Shortly after he passed,
she was scrolling through her Facebook newsfeed and an image of these
characters with a heart saying “I love you” popped up. She knew
immediately it was a sign from her dad. Another time she was in a local
drugstore and noticed a stuffed Donald Duck dressed up for Easter. She
smiled and thought of her dad, then realized a song was playing in the
store that reminded her of him at the same time.
Dreams
One of the easiest ways our loved ones can communicate with us is
through our dreams. Why is it the easiest? Because when we are asleep,
we are much more open to receiving them and their messages than we
are when we are awake, busy and distracted. If you have a dream of a
loved one who has passed and the dream is a happy one (not one that is
scary or reliving their death), then know they are visiting you. Even if you
cry in the dream because you miss them or they don’t say a word to you,
know that it’s meant to soothe you and let you know they are near you.
These dream visitations don’t have to be profound, where your loved
one shares the secrets of the universe with you, and they don’t even
have to make sense. Sometimes I dream I am shopping with my mother
and simply telling her the things going on in my life, and she doesn’t say
a word. But if you see them in a dream and it’s not scary, then know they
are around and trying to let you know they are there for you.
Animals
As I explained in the squirrel example above, our loved ones will use
animals to get our attention. It could be an animal they loved or talked
about that shows up out of nowhere or even a picture of that animal that
you see on social media or on the cover of a book. But it can also be an
animal doing something out of the ordinary or uncharacteristic.
I remember helping a friend move into a new house a few months after
her father died, and as we were walking in and out the front door with her
belongings, we noticed a squirrel sitting on the top of a bush right next to
the front steps. The squirrel was literally staring at us and watching us
move the items into the house. It stayed there the entire time and once
we finished, it ran away. She said to me, “I think that was my father
watching over us,” and I totally agreed. If your dad loved cardinals and
you see one land on your porch and look at you through the window, that
is a sign. If your mom loved butterflies and you see one land in your
garden while you are working there, recognize it’s your mother. Just like
people, animals will work as earth angels on behalf of our loved ones to
get these signs across to us.
Rainbows
Rainbows themselves are mini miracles. In order for one to be created
and seen, the sunlight and the conditions in the atmosphere need to be
just right, and the person viewing it also needs to be in the right position
to see it. It’s formed when the sun shines on water droplets floating in the
air, which is why they often appear after a rainstorm. All of these things
need to be lined up perfectly in order for the rainbow to appear and for
you to be able to see it when you look up at the sky—and a double
rainbow requires even more. When a rainbow comes into your view,
know the universe and your loved ones are sending you a smile and love
to reinforce the message. I believe they are telling us that after the
storms in our life, beauty will be revealed, and that whatever you are
facing at the moment, just know something beautiful and miraculous is on
its way.
Thinking of Them
I can’t stress this enough: if you see something or hear something and
it makes you think of your loved one or if you suddenly think of them out
of the blue, this is a sign from them. Our loved ones have the ability to
interrupt our thoughts and insert themselves in there, and they will do this
often to let us know they are around. You might hear a song, see
something on television, or hear someone talking about a topic and
suddenly find yourself thinking of your loved one. This is not a
coincidence; it’s a communication!
One of the most dramatic examples of this happened to me while I was
texting someone and in mid-sentence my mother’s name popped in my
head. It was like, “Hey, did you get your—” and then “Maryann” popped
into my head. I stopped texting and said out loud, “Mom, is that you?” I
remember thinking she must really need to get through to me to do
something like that, so I walked over to my computer and closed my
eyes. I asked her if there was anything she wanted to say and just started
typing what came to me. This is something anybody can do, and you
don’t have to be psychic or know how to channel. You just need to trust
and let the words flow out of you—either onto paper with a pen or onto
the computer with the keyboard keys.
Of course, I totally second-guessed the entire experience and actually
said to my mom, “Listen, if this was really you, and I didn’t make this all
up, you are going to have to find a way to prove it to me. I have no idea
how you are going to do that, but I need some type of proof.” Within an
hour, a friend who is a medium called me to say “I have your mom here”
and then proceeded to repeat much of what I had typed.
Who Is This From?
You may have caught on by now that many of the ways our loved ones
communicate with us overlap with the ways our guides and angels
communicate. They all use numbers, animals, and songs on the radio to
get our attention. So how do you know who a sign is from once you
recognize and receive it?
Let’s look at our loved ones who have passed on first. When our loved
ones on the other side are trying to get our attention, they will often use a
sign that relates to them specifically. You may see it and immediately
think of them, or it has something to do with them. As far as numbers,
they will use their birthdate because you will automatically relate it to
them; for animals, they will pick one that you know they loved such as a
butterfly or a hummingbird. However, sometimes it’s a sign that doesn’t
naturally relate to them but makes you think of them when you see it. For
example, you could hear a specific song on the radio that has lyrics
where a father is talking to his daughter, and it makes you think of your
own father who has passed. Or your grandmother’s name is Rose, which
mine is, and that is the name of the street where you are looking at
buying a new house. Also, anytime something makes you think of them
and you get the chills or goosebumps on your skin, that always reinforces
the sign. I believe it’s our loved one’s spirit passing through or standing
by our bodies to cause this as a way of saying, “Yes, it’s me.”
Additionally, as you begin to recognize and accept the signs from your
loved ones, they will start to use them over and over. Why? Because they
know you got the message when they used it the first time and will likely
notice it if they use it again. As you begin to notice signs, you can build
your own reference guide for the ways they communicate with you and
will be more likely to notice them in the future.
If the sign is not necessarily connected to a loved one on the other side
or you don’t immediately think of them when you notice it, but it’s still
relevant and meaningful to you, I classify that under the category of the
universe, angels, and guides. If you are someone who knows your
individual guides or works with specific angels, such as archangel
Michael for protection or archangel Raphael for healing, you may begin to
notice specific signs related to them; again, you can create your own
reference guide on how they communicate with you. You will find that all
of your different elevated resources will use their own unique symbols to
get your attention. There is an exercise on page 75 that can help you get
started.
What Does It Mean?
Finding the meaning of a sign is not as tricky as you might think.
Sometimes the meaning is quite obvious, like when your loved one is
using their name or something specific that makes you think of them. The
intent in this case is often just to let you know they are around you and
aware of what is going on in your life. If the name of a book crosses your
path more than once, the sign is for you to look into reading the book
because it will likely offer assistance in some way. These signs are pretty
clear and don’t require much interpretation. Other signs might require a
little more research on your part. For example, I mentioned numbers
repeating that are not related to a birthdate or other significant number for
you, or an animal showing up more than once in a week in a strange way
or doing something out of the ordinary around you. These are the types
of signs where it is helpful to look up on the metaphysical meaning on the
internet. Each time you do this, make a note of the meanings and who
might be sending them because you will be creating your own database
of signs and meanings. This is much more powerful than anyone else’s
you might come across as these meanings and signs are specific to you.
The bottom line is the universe and your loved ones will use language,
symbols, and signs that mean something to you because they want you
to get it. They don’t want to hide the meaning from you or make it difficult
to understand. They want you to easily recognize the guidance being
sent so you can act on it and improve your life. And even when it requires
a bit of research, the meaning will usually be easy to uncover.
For years I would tell friends and family members—and really anyone
who would listen or seemed interested—about the signs I received from
my mother after she passed. I was always met with the same awe and
fascination, and they would say they wished their loved ones would send
signs like the ones I got from my mom. While interviewing psychic
medium and author Rebecca Rosen, I asked her about a story she told in
her book What the Dead Have Taught Me About Living Well , where her
husband took his birthday of 12/12, multiplied it to get 144, and then gave
it to his guides to use with him.
That’s when a light bulb went off in my brain. By noticing and accepting
the signs my mother sent to me—using her birthdate, flickering lights
when I was talking about her, and songs on the radio—I was basically
telling her, “Yes, use this, and I’ll know it’s you.” I was inadvertently
assigning her signs!
When you are just starting out on this path, the fastest way to jumpstart
your signs is to assign your loved one, guide, angel, or the universe a
specific sign to use so you know they are around. It can be an animal,
number, song on the radio, or whatever you like, but I suggest starting
with something easily recognizable. For example, your mom’s favorite
flower; a specific animal or insect, such as a butterfly, cardinal, or
dragonfly; you or your loved one’s birthdate; a deer if your dad was a
hunter; or the cartoon character Bugs Bunny because you used to watch
that with your grandmother every Saturday when you were a kid.
Exercise
Assign a Sign
Here is how to assign a sign:
Pick the loved one, guide, angel, or other spirit to whom
you would like to assign a sign.
Choose the sign you would like to give them to use with
you.
Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, and repeat this
prayer:
Dear universe, I surround myself with the white light of love and
peace as I call in [name who you are going to work with]. I know
you have been trying to communicate with me, and I have been
missing the signs you are sending. I am ready to open myself up
to communication from you and would like to offer you a sign to
use so that I will know you are around me and guiding me.
Please use the sign of [say the sign you are giving to them] and
from now on I promise to be open and accept the sign when I
see it in the future. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Amen.
Be open and give it a little time. I’ve had students see the sign
several times in the first day of asking for it, while for others it
might take a bit longer. Just know that once you turn it over to
them, they will be sure to use it, so keep your eyes and your heart
open.
As you can see, there are so many ways the universe and our angels,
guides, and loved ones on the other side can communicate with us—and
they will use things we see in our everyday lives in order to do it. They
are not using anything complicated like Morse code in the military or
JavaScript in computers. Most of the time, they are using things already
familiar to us or that we assign to them specifically.
Next, we are going to uncover one of the major blocks I’ve found to
receiving and noticing the subtle signs from the universe: chaos. We
need to tame the chaos in our minds, bodies, and in the environment
around us or it will serve as a major distraction from what the universe is
trying to tell us. As a bonus, it will also help you in many other areas of
your life.
[contents]
Nowhere can man find a quieter or more
untroubled retreat than in his own soul.
MARCUS AURELIUS
Chapter 5
Taming the Chaos
Before you dive into the five-step process outlined in Part 2 of this book,
there is an essential piece of the puzzle that needs to be addressed: the
chaos in your life. By incorporating easy spiritual tools and practices into
your daily life, you can start taming the chaos around you and be more
present to noticing the signs and synchronicities coming to you.Whether
you are a busy working mom juggling a career and family, a CEO of a
Fortune 500 company, or dreaming of retirement in a few years, we all
have chaos. The world we live in is full of it, and this impacts our lives
whether we realize it or not. We have chaos in our minds and bodies
from our own thoughts and emotions, that we take on from the people
and situations around us, and even from the media we watch and listen
to each day. This chaos serves as a distraction, and when we get caught
up in it, noticing signs and synchronicities around us becomes nearly
impossible. We must learn to quiet it down in small ways so the
messages from the universe and our guides, angels, and loved ones can
make it through to us.
As Carl Jung said, “In all chaos there is a cosmos, in all disorder a
secret order.” 9 This chapter will help you tune into the cosmos by turning
the dial down on chaos so you can find the order in the disorder—and
ultimately discover the signs and synchronicities guiding your way.
The Causes of Chaos
The Causes of Chaos
Chaos is contagious, and most of us are walking around with a severe
case of it. Oftentimes we don’t even realize it, and when we do, we have
no idea how to escape it—or the disastrous effects it’s having on our
mind, body, and spirit. It’s not until we come down with a physical
condition or clinical diagnosis of anxiety or depression that we suddenly
realize the stress and chaos consuming our lives. Many people are
chaotic from the moment they open their eyes in the morning until their
head hits the pillow at night, and it’s become such a habit and way of
operating that it seems normal to them. They live every day perpetually
stressed, outside the present moment, and taking on the role of firefighter
as the flames ignite and spread around them. I know this because it’s
how I lived my life for years. I would always tell people I didn’t feel
stressed, and meanwhile I was late to work all the time, running for the
train that took me into New York City (and sometimes missing it), and
moving a million miles an hour all day long. Then, in my early thirties I
was diagnosed with shingles, which is said to be brought on by chronic
stress, and I was truly baffled as to why I had it because I didn’t feel
stressed. My doctor couldn’t believe it either and said I was too young to
have it, but there it was on the right side of my torso. I didn’t recognize
the chaos and stress going on inside, so my body decided to push it out
to get my attention.
Chaos comes from inside of us—our emotions, thoughts, and beliefs—
but we can also absorb negativity and drama from the people, places,
and situations around us. Have you ever heard of emotional contagion?
Scientific research shows both positive and negative emotions can be
passed on from one person to another without either person realizing it’s
happening. When someone is in a chaotic state, they are often anxious,
on alert, overwhelmed, frustrated, and stressed out, and because of
emotional contagion, they can transfer this energy onto those around
them. This means the people around us on a daily basis—our children,
spouse, family members, friends, and coworkers—can and do contribute
to the chaos we experience each day. And thanks to today’s technology
and our connected world, we can now take on chaos just from scrolling
through social media or turning on the news, giving us access to chaos
on a global scale.
In addition to the world outside of us, our minds are a huge contributor
to the chaos we experience. When filled with thoughts of regret from the
past and worry about the future, our minds create stress and fear, which
is a breeding ground for chaos. Plus, what we think about and focus on is
what we attract more of in our lives, so focusing on chaos only brings us
more, and it becomes an endless cycle. We start to expect chaos
because that’s just the way life is, and when it arrives, we think, “Of
course, here it is again—I wonder what is coming next?” We share our
chaos and drama with others and commiserate about it—which not only
perpetuates more of it, but it opens us up to absorbing one another’s
chaos in the process. How are we going to notice signs from the universe
in the midst of all this insanity?
Chaos and Signs
Let’s look at a typical day for a working mom. She oversleeps from
exhaustion, jumps out of bed, and races to get herself and the kids ready
for the day. She is always running late, so after she drops the kids at
school, she rushes to get to work. Driving there, her mother calls needing
help with a health insurance issue, and when she gets to her desk, she
discovers the boss is expecting a report from her the next morning. Just
as she settles in, she gets a call from her children’s school that one of her
kids is sick and needs to be picked up. She has to drop everything to find
someone who can pick up her child, then battles through her workday so
she can rush home and cook dinner. After cleaning up and getting the
kids to sleep, she barely has time to wash her face before flinging her
body into bed to do it all over again the next day. In the midst of all this
chaos, do you think she will notice the sign her father sent to her during
her lunch break?
What about the person who wakes up in the morning, grabs her phone,
and immediately starts scrolling through social media newsfeeds filled
with other people’s lives and problems, including friends fighting over
politics and the latest negative news stories circulating the globe? She
gets out of bed and turns on the morning news to hear about the same
thing—politics, tragedies, the latest food recalls and other stories that
provide a double dose of chaos and negativity before she’s even brushed
her teeth. In the middle of the news reports about a tragic accident and
war in another country, do you think she notices a sign from her
grandmother on the way to work or the mention of a book title she heard
about once before earlier that week?
If you can relate to any of this or even a portion of it, chaos is likely an
issue in your life. And if you want to start noticing the signs from the
universe and your loved ones, it’s time to start taming the chaos—and it’s
actually easier to do than you might think. I’ve found and created quick
and easy spiritual tools and practices that can be applied even if you are
a working mom with five kids and zero time to spare.
The Power of Retreat
Have you ever gone on a weekend retreat to relax, renew, and get away
from it all? Have you taken a spa day for self-care and pampering with
friends or a relaxing vacation with family and felt happy and rejuvenated
afterward? Maybe you even attended a spiritual retreat with inspiring
teachings or yoga. If you’ve experienced any of these, you know how
powerful taking a retreat from everyday life and the chaos around you
feels…and you also know the dread of returning back to normal routine
once it’s over.
The meaning of the word retreat is to move back or withdraw, and that
is exactly what we do when we take a vacation from our normal daily
lives, even if it’s just for one day. However, once we return to our regular
routines, the positive effects we achieved often start to disappear. The
chaos begins to take hold again, and we find ourselves annoyed when
our children don’t listen, honking at the person driving too slow in front of
us on the road, and caught up in the drama around us. We get anxious
about situations in the future or depressed about current circumstances.
We start to lose that boost we received from that retreat until the retreat
eventually becomes a distant memory.
But it doesn’t have to be this way. We can find quick and easy ways to
retreat in our daily lives to silence the drama and chaos and return to the
present moment—which is where the signs and synchronicities are
unfolding. We can reconnect with the Spirit inside of us, find more joy,
and learn to be less reactive to life, without adding to an already packed
schedule or overwhelmed mind. Now, before you tune out, thinking I’m
going to talk to you about meditating for twenty or forty minutes at a time,
stick with me here because that is not the case. No matter how busy you
are, the techniques I’m about to share with you can be incorporated into
your day and will make a difference for you. You also don’t have to do
every one of them to gain the benefits they offer, which is less chaos and
more connection. Just try them out and choose one or two to add to your
routine and as go-to options during the moments you feel overwhelmed,
stressed, or chaotic. It will bring you back to the present moment more
often, which is where all the signs are occurring.
Outside-the-Box Meditation Options
I’m sure you have heard about the many benefits of meditation.
Emotionally it helps to lower anxiety and depression, and it will make you
less reactive to the situations and people around you. Physically,
research shows it can lower the stress hormone cortisol, decrease your
heart rate and blood pressure, improve the immune system, and even
strengthen memory. Spiritually, it connects you to Spirit, your higher self,
and your intuition. Also, neuroscience shows the practice of meditation
and mindfulness can rewire the brain, creating new neural pathways to
change our habitual thought patterns and reactions. But despite these
benefits, a lot of people struggle with meditation. They worry they can’t
stop their thoughts, sit still for that long, don’t have the time, or that they
are not doing it right.
Well, what if you could achieve the same benefits of longer periods of
meditation in shorter bursts of time—like sixty seconds? In their bestselling book How God Changes Your Brain: Breakthrough Findings from
a Leading Neuroscientist , Andrew Newberg and Mark Robert Waldman
share how several brain-scan studies show as little as one to three
minutes of meditation alters neurological functioning. There have also
been studies showing as little as ten minutes of meditation or
mindfulness exercises can produce benefits. For those of you who
struggle with time or longer forms of meditation, this is life-changing
news.
One of the techniques Waldman recommends is taking a 60-second
mindfulness break once every hour, either by setting a timer or
downloading a mindfulness bell app. I find this is beneficial whether
someone already sits for twenty minutes or more of meditation each day
or has never meditated before in their life because it offers an opportunity
to reconnect with Spirit and boost our energetic vibration throughout the
day. It’s also training us to stay connected and in the flow with a higher
vibration all day long, which is key to recognizing signs and
synchronicities, manifesting what we want, and just feeling good
throughout the day.
Another option is retreating for three minutes at a time and spreading
this out throughout the day. In Madly Chasing Peace: How I Went from
Hell to Happy in Nine Minutes a Day , author Dina Proctor shares how,
when climbing her way out of depression and addiction, she struggled to
meditate for long periods of time. She could only manage three minutes,
so she started doing three-minute meditations. This led her to develop
her 3x3 meditation method, and she was surprised at how she was able
to receive the benefits promised by longer forms of meditation in only
these short bursts.
Whether you try the one-minute or three-minute breaks throughout
your day, you will be taming the chaos around you and opening yourself
up to more signs from the universe. Here is an exercise to get you
started.
9 . Jung, Collected Works , 32.
Exercise
The 60-Second Retreat
The idea behind this exercise is to take 60-second retreat breaks
throughout your day to tame the chaos, boost your vibration, and
reconnect with the present moment. The steps below can also be
used for three-minute breaks as well, but when first starting out, I
recommend trying sixty seconds every hour. Also, this exercise
can be repeated as needed anytime you are feeling stressed,
overwhelmed, or anxious.
Set an alarm on your cell phone to go off every hour for at least
seven to ten hours of your day. You can also download a
mindfulness bell app for your phone or desktop computer. I like to
type the word “Spirit” into my alarm so it comes up on the screen
once every hour as a reminder to pause and reconnect. And if
every hour overwhelms you, try starting with three times each day.
When the alarm goes off, close your eyes, take a deep breath to
center yourself, and then, breathing at a normal pace, repeat a
mantra or word that is meaningful to you. For example, you could
use my go-to mantra: “I am connected. I am love. All is well. I am
safe.” You can also repeat one word, such as “release” or “peace,”
or just take a part of the first mantra and repeat “I am safe” or “All
is well.”
After sixty seconds, or more if you would like, open your eyes
and go back to your day—until the next hour when the alarm goes
off again. Then repeat.
The more you do this exercise, the more you will find yourself
feeling less chaotic and less reactive to the chaos you do
encounter. You will be more mindful, present, and grounded, and
the signs and synchronicities will flow in easier because of it. Also,
if the alarm goes off and you are in the middle of a conversation or
driving your car, don’t worry. I usually just hit the snooze button so
it will go off again in a few minutes or make a mental note to take
my 60-second retreat when I’m done. Don’t be surprised if you see
me sitting in my car with my eyes closed before I go into the
grocery store!
Grounding Your Energy
Grounding is another way to tame the chaos in your life and help you
stay centered no matter what drama is happening around you, so you
don’t miss the signs coming your way. Being grounded in your body
means you are completely aware and conscious during the present
moment, fully present in your body, and feeling centered and balanced.
When grounded you feel more at ease, protected, and safe, and less
fearful and worried. But when you are not grounded, you may experience
the following:
unable to focus or finish projects
easily distracted
feel stressed, anxious, nervous, or worried
overthink situations and decisions
find yourself thinking in circles and your mind spinning
feel drained physically or emotionally
become affected more easily by the people and energy
around you
feel spacey
find yourself constantly rushing around
forget things easily
If you are feeling or experiencing any of the above, such as being
easily distracted, rushing around, or unable to focus, how can you notice
signs? It makes it so much harder, if not impossible. But when you are
grounded, centered, and awake to the present moment, it’s much more
likely that the signs won’t pass you by. And grounding your energy is not
just a spiritual or New Age concept. There have been a number of
studies done showing the many benefits of grounding, including reducing
inflammations in the body and improving blood flow, improving the
immune system response, a reduction in emotional stress, and an
elevation in mood.
Grounding your energy every morning, especially before you leave the
house to interact with other people and places, will help you stay
centered as the day progresses, and there are simple tools you can use
to quickly ground yourself wherever you are and whenever you need it.
Exercise
Belly Breathing
Known as diaphragmatic breathing, belly breathing, and the threepart breath in yoga, this type of breathing exercise calms the
nervous system and grounds you into your body.
To practice it, put one hand on your belly and the other on your
chest. Empty all the air out of your lungs and belly by contracting
the belly all the way in. Then breathe in through the nose, slowly
expanding and filling up the belly with air as your hand rises. Next,
fill your midsection (above the belly button), expanding your
diaphragm with air, and finally, fill your upper chest with air, only
rising it slightly up. This three-part breath is done as one smooth,
slow motion. Before exhaling, pause for a moment, and then
breathe the air out of your mouth as you reverse the inhale
process, starting with breathing out the air in your chest, then your
torso, and out of your belly, contracting back in again.
Once you are familiar with the process, try breathing in for a
count of four, pausing for a count of four, and then breathing out
for a count of four as you exhale. As a variation, you can also
make the exhale longer than the inhale by two to four counts. This
can be done as many times as necessary to feel more centered
and relaxed.
Bonus: You can also visualize pulling up energy from the core of
the earth into your root chakra (located at the base of your spine)
and up your spine to your crown chakra (located at the top of your
head) to help ground you while breathing.
Exercise
Mindful Walking
Another way to ground and center yourself so you are more
present to the signs happening around you is mindful walking.
Walking mindfully can be done anywhere, whether outside on a
nature trail, inside your own home, or to the bathroom in your
office. It’s a fast and easy way to bring you into the present
moment and back to center. Combine it with walking barefoot
outdoors, known as earthing (see page 89 ), and it packs a
powerful grounding punch.
To walk mindfully means being totally aware of your body as it
moves and becoming present to every part of your body engaged
in the activity. To practice, try to focus your eyes on the floor in
front of you and your mind and attention on your feet. As you walk
—and it helps to do so slower than usual—feel your heel, then the
ball of your foot, and then each toe as it touches the ground below
you. Also, notice the opposite foot lifting off the ground as the other
one touches the ground. Then notice the heel, ball of the foot, and
toes of that foot touching the floor. Pay attention to how it feels in
your body and particularly your feet. Doing this immediately directs
your attention to the present moment and can be helpful in
grounding your energy.
Bonus: You can also enhance this by visualizing your feet
drawing up positive and balanced energy from the earth as it rises
throughout your body to ground you.
Exercise
Engage with Nature
Spending time in nature is healing and balancing for the body,
mind, and soul, and it can help ground your energy, boost your
mood, and reduce stress. There is something magical about the
energy of nature that opens our intuition and awareness—
including the awareness of signs and synchronicities—and calms
down the nervous system, but it’s more than magic. Research
shows walking in a forest environment can reduce stress
hormones such as adrenaline and noradrenaline and have a
relaxing effect on the body. One study in Tokyo showed a two-hour
walk in a forest, compared to a two-hour walk in an urban setting,
actually lowered people’s blood pressure. Whether you go for a
walk around your neighborhood, in a local park, or just in your own
backyard, time in nature will do wonders for you to tame the chaos
and get grounded.
If you want to take it a step further, I highly recommend hugging
a tree, pressing your forehead against it and breathing in deep,
and even sitting with your back and spine up against it. In the book
Blinded by Science, author Matthew Silverstone presents a
number of studies showing the health benefits of trees and the
effect on mental illnesses including attention deficit hyperactivity
disorder (ADHD), concentration levels, reaction times, depression,
and more. As with everything around us, trees carry a certain
vibrational energy, and nature vibrates at high frequencies. When
we interact with it, those frequencies will alter our own, raising
them to a higher level. In the case of trees, we can take on the
grounding effect they offer from being rooted into the earth.
Exercise
Earthing
Putting your body in direct contact with the earth’s grass, soil, or
sand is known as earthing, and scientific research shows there are
numerous health benefits to this as well, including grounding you
into your body and the present moment to become more aware of
what is happening in the now. The earth contains negatively
charged electrons, and when our bodies come into contact with
them, they get transferred to us. This neutralizes the positively
charged electrons built up in our body from living in today’s
modern world, which can be harmful to us, and has a grounding
and balancing effect.
Here are some of the reported benefits of earthing:
positive effects on the electrical activity of the brain
moderates heart rate
improves glucose regulation
reduces stress and lowers stress hormones
normalizes blood pressure
boosts immunity
reduces inflammation and chronic pain
calms and balances the nervous system
improves sleep
The easiest way to practice earthing is to walk barefoot on the
ground in soil, grass, or sand. You can also lie on the ground,
allowing other parts of your body to come in contact with the earth.
Doing so for twenty or thirty minutes is extremely beneficial, but I
find even just a few minutes of this practice can be very grounding
and balancing for me.
Exercise
Essential Oils
There are several essential oils you can use to ground yourself
and keep you in this balanced state throughout your day. They can
be added to an electric diffuser or oil lamp to fill a room or space in
your home, added to a bath, or used in a diffuser necklace or
bracelet worn on your body. Here are some grounding essential
oils to choose from:
vetiver
sandalwood
frankincense
patchouli
ylang-ylang
white fir
black spruce
pine
cedarwood
In addition to single oils, there are many blends made
specifically for grounding available today from a variety of
companies, and you can also make your own. By using them
throughout the day, you will remain more centered so you can be
open to hearing the universe when it’s talking to you.
Exercise
Legs Up the Wall Yoga Pose
Legs Up the Wall is not only grounding, but it is also very calming
to the nervous system. It’s a restorative yoga pose that is meant to
allow the body and mind to completely relax and rest. This pose is
done exactly as its name says: you lie on the ground with your
buttocks and legs vertically pressed up the wall in front of you so
that your body is essentially making an L-shape with the wall.
The easiest way to get into this pose is to sit with the left side of
your body against the wall and your legs out in front of you. Gently
twist your body to the left and bring your legs up onto the wall,
moving your buttocks as close to the wall as possible and lowering
your back flat to the floor. Rest your shoulders and head on the
floor, and lay your arms and hands at your sides, palms facing
upward. You will be looking up at your feet, which should be flexed
toward your head. Close your eyes and hold this position for five to
ten minutes, focusing your awareness on your breath. If you would
like more support, you can put a rolled blanket, towel, or yoga
bolster under your lower back and/or your neck. To come out of
the pose, slowly push away from the wall, slide your legs down to
the right side, and push up into a seated position.
Again, this pose is very calming to the nervous system, so it’s
great for times of stress and anxiety. It’s also ideal to ground you
into the present and open your awareness. It can be practiced in
the morning, at night before bed, or anytime you need to tame the
chaos and get back into the now. Remember, the more present
you can be and the more aware you are of what is happening
around you, the less likely you will miss the communications from
the universe.
Exercise
Crystals
Crystals and gemstones hold their own vibrations and can be used
to help you achieve certain emotional states, increase your
vibration, calm the nervous system, manifest and attract your
desires, and more. There are several crystals that offer grounding
and balancing effects to the mind and body, and they can be
placed in our environment, carried with us in a purse or pocket, or
worn on the body as a bracelet, necklace, ring, or pin.
It’s important to note that when working with crystals, they must
be periodically cleansed and recharged to maintain their vibration
—especially those offering protection and taking on or absorbing
negative energies around them. There are a variety of ways to
cleanse and recharge crystals; here are some easy options:
Smudging: Burning sage, frankincense incense, or palo santo wood
will produce smoke for you to pass the crystals through to
cleanse any negative energy on them.
Selenite: This is a crystal that never needs to be cleansed; in fact, it
can cleanse and charge other crystals. In a long wand form or flat
piece known as a charging plate, you can place other crystals on
selenite overnight or longer to cleanse and recharge.
Nature: Place your crystals outside during a new moon or a
rainstorm so they can be cleansed and recharged.
The following is a list of grounding crystals:
Black Obsidian: A grounding and protective stone said to guard
against negativity.
Black Tourmaline: Aids in the removal of negative energies, and
cleanses and purifies dense energies into a lighter and higher
vibration. It helps to ground, balance, and protect all of the
chakras in the body.
Hematite: An extremely grounding stone working with the root
chakra, it absorbs negative energy and helps one remain calm in
the midst of stress and worry.
Red Jasper: While it’s helpful to all three lower chakras (root, sacral,
and solar plexus), it is known as a root chakra stone, helping one
to reconnect with the earth’s grounding energy. It also has a
cleansing effect to eliminate negativity.
Shungite: Helps balance the root chakra for grounding and absorbs
negative energies. It can also be used to protect the body from
electromagnetic frequencies and radiation from electronic
devices.
Smoky Quartz: Another root chakra stone ideal for grounding and
balancing the body, it absorbs negative energies and helps drain
them into the ground. Like shungite, it can also be placed near
electronics to absorb and transmute electromagnetic radiation.
Exercise
Crown Chakra Reset
This may sound simple, but I urge you to try it before you write it
off as too good to be true. The crown chakra not only links us to
the universe, Spirit, and higher realms, but it blends energy from
the physical realm of everyday life as well. When it becomes
overactive, we can feel flighty, anxious, and ungrounded. But there
is a quick way to reset it, and it only takes twenty to sixty seconds.
Place your hand (I use my right because it’s my dominant hand)
over the top of your head to temporarily block out any external
stimulation and energy. Close your eyes and gently breathe in and
out as you relax your body and ground yourself in the present
moment. When you feel more centered, open your eyes and
release your hand.
Exercise
Earth Energy Meditation
This guided meditation/visualization can be used while sitting in a
chair with your feet on the floor or combined with the above
techniques of belly breathing, mindful walking, and earthing.
Close your eyes and take a couple of belly breaths, in through
the nose and filling the belly, torso, and chest, and then out
through the mouth, emptying the chest, torso and belly. Bring your
attention and focus to the bottoms of your feet where they are
touching the ground. Feel them resting on the surface below, and
imagine beams of light energy coming from the bottom of each foot
and forming roots that move down into the center core of the earth.
Watch as these roots wrap themselves around the earth’s surface
below, anchoring there.
Now, imagine a light cord running from your root chakra and
base of your spine down into the core of the earth, anchoring your
root chakra into the earth as well. As you breathe in through your
nose, feel the grounding and balancing earth energy move up the
light cords in the bottoms of your feet, into your legs, and up to the
base of your spine. Watch as it travels through your body all the
way up to the top of your head.
As you breathe the air out of your mouth, imagine anything that
no longer serves you—your worries, fear, negative emotions, the
energy of other people you absorbed in the past—moving down
those roots into the earth’s core, where they are transformed to the
energy of love. Breathe in and out, imagining the good flowing in
and the negative releasing out. Repeat this for a few minutes.
Now, picture a beautiful, sparkling white light surrounding your
entire body and extending out a couple of inches from it. This white
light is blanketing you with protection and love. Feel the warmth of
this light around you and continue breathing in and out. When you
feel complete and centered, you can open your eyes.
Protecting Your Energy
In addition to managing your own energy, you also want to protect
yourself from taking on the energy of others—especially when it’s
stressful and chaotic. Like I said at the beginning of this chapter, chaos is
contagious, and you don’t need to carry around energy that doesn’t
belong to you. Whether it’s family members, coworkers, or just a trip to
the mall, you want to make sure you are not taking on energy from
outside of you, which can affect your mind and body, create more chaos,
and block your awareness of signs and synchronicities. A gemstone that
is ideal for protection is black tourmaline. It acts as a bodyguard to
protect you from negative energy and can transform and cleanse energy
into a higher vibration. You can carry a small stone around with you in
your pocket or purse, keep one in your car, and place one near the
entrance of your workspace to absorb anything coming toward you. I
keep one on the floor next to the doors of my home to protect me from
any negative energy entering the home and also have one at the
doorway to my home office.
Another easy and fast way to protect yourself is to use the shield
exercise below. Do this quick visualization and prayer before you leave
the house, and repeat it anytime during the day when you encounter
negative or chaotic energy from a person or place.
Exercise
The Shield
Close your eyes and picture a white light surrounding your entire
body and extending a few inches out from it. Then recite the
following prayer:
Archangel Michael, please surround me with your light and
protection. Shield me from taking on any negativity and any
energy that does not belong to me. Please keep me in a place of
love. Thank you. Amen.
This exercise can even be done in a pinch with your eyes open if
you are out and about somewhere. Nobody has to know you are
doing it in your head, and it works just as well!
Cleansing Your Energy
When calling in archangel Michael as part of the shield exercise, you are
essentially asking him to protect your aura from taking on energy around
you and to strengthen it. The aura is an energetic field around your body,
and is said to be associated with a person’s health and vitality. It’s the
body’s first line of defense against energy outside of it, and in addition to
protecting it, you also need to cleanse it. This can be done in a variety of
ways. I like to do some sort of cleansing each night before bed. It’s
especially important if you have been around large crowds, in any type of
negative environment, or forgot to protect yourself that day.
Here are a few easy options for you to choose from for cleansing your
aura:
Smudging: Just as you cleanse your crystals and the energy in your
home environment with smudging, the same can be done for your
aura. You can either burn sage, a wood called palo santo, or use a
smudging spray. If burning sage or palo santo, simply move the
smoke around your body and walk through it with the intention of
clearing any negative energy or energy that does not belong to you.
Salt Scrub: While in the shower, you can use a salt scrub all over your
body with the intention of cleansing your aura of negative energy. You
can even purchase a Himalayan salt scrub bar or take a bath in Dead
Sea salts.
Selenite Crystal: Any type of selenite crystal can be used to cleanse
your aura, but the most popular for this type of activity is a selenite
wand. It’s just a stick of selenite, and it can be used in a combing
motion around your body to clear the energy. Also, since selenite
doesn’t need to be cleansed, this can be done each night and it will
simply transform the energy, so you don’t have to worry about
cleansing the stone.
In this chapter I focused on taming the chaos in your life because chaos,
distraction, stress, anxiety, and anything that goes along with it will block
your awareness from the communications being sent to you from the
universe and your angels, guides and loved ones on the other side. I
shared various ways you can tame the chaos through grounding yourself,
protecting yourself, clearing your aura, and more, so you can be more
aware and in the present moment each day before moving on to Part 2 of
this book, which details the five-step process to help you uncover and
understand signs and synchronicity in your life.
If you adopt even just one or two of the practices or tips I outlined in
this chapter, you will be chipping away at one of the biggest blocks to
noticing the signs around you. Pick one or two now and commit to
making them part of your daily routine. I promise you will feel less
reactive, overwhelmed, and stressed, and you will be more present,
joyful, and aware.
Now, on to the five steps!
[contents]
Part 2
Five Steps
to Ignite the Flow
In the universe there is an immeasurable, indescribable force which shamans call
intent, and absolutely everything that exists in the entire cosmos is attached to intent
by a connecting link.
CARLOS CASTANEDA
Chapter 6
Step 1: Setting Your Intention
Now that we’ve gone through all the preliminary work, including
understanding what signs and synchronicity are, where they come from,
how they show up in our lives, and how to tame the chaos so they can
make their way into our conscious awareness, it’s time to start receiving
them. This chapter will help you get started by using the power of your
intention. It’s the first step in the five-step process, and on its own it will
draw the magic of these miracles into your life. However, when you
combine this step with the other four in the following chapters, you will
truly change the way your life unfolds and how you navigate the twists
and turns it takes.
Something to Believe In
It was five years after my mother’s death, and I’d been on a search for
more meaning in my life. While I did find peace and hope from
mediumship readings I’d had since she passed, I still hadn’t found a
belief system I could wrap my arms around and embrace. My Catholic
faith no longer served me in the same way it did when I was younger,
and I desperately wanted to find something to believe in. I needed to
understand life and my place in this world, and to find more faith, peace
and happiness on a daily basis. I had researched Buddhism, Kabbalah
(thanks to the pop star Madonna), and many other spiritual paths, but I
still had not found anything that truly resonated with me. Before going to
bed one winter night in 2004, I said a prayer to God and to my mom to
please direct me where I needed to go next regarding my faith. It wasn’t
long before I got my answer.
A couple hours after falling asleep, I found myself lying awake at 2 a.m.
with my thoughts. I eventually gave up trying to drift back to sleep and
grabbed the television remote from my nightstand. Flipping through the
channels, I came across a man on my local Public Broadcasting Service
station talking about “our connection to Source,” how we all have an
inherent connection to this all-knowing higher power, and how it allows us
to co-create the circumstances of our lives along with it. He totally
captivated me. What he was saying seemed familiar and true, and for the
first time in a long time, I felt a sense of knowing and understanding.
Surely this was the next step on my spiritual journey.
That man was Dr. Wayne Dyer. He was sharing principles and
teachings from his book The Power of Intention: Learning to Co-Create
Your World Your Way . I immediately ordered it. It was another one of
those moments where my life changed in an instant. Sometimes these
moments are soul crushing, like the sudden death of my mother, but
sometimes they are soul awakening. This was one of my soul-awakening
moments. It was also a sign and an answer to my prayer. Something or
someone woke me up that night and led me to the PBS special and
Wayne Dyer’s work. It was the catalyst to the spiritual path I continue to
walk upon today, and it was listening to Dyer’s audios that introduced me
to the work of Deepak Chopra and the Chopra Center—and you already
know where that led me.
But more importantly, Dyer introduced me to the concept of intention
and how using this powerful force consciously allows us to create the
circumstances of our lives. When we set an intention—which is really a
plan or intent to take an action, make a change, or create something new
—the universe immediately begins to work with us and assist us in
bringing that intention to life in the world. It works this way in any area of
life we are trying to change or improve, and it is often talked about
regarding manifestation and attracting what we desire because the first
step in creating anything is to intend it. The same is true for opening
ourselves up to signs from the universe. It starts with intention.
Setting Your Intention for Signs
In his book The Power of Intention , Dyer says:
Activating intention means rejoining your Source and becoming a
modern-day sorcerer. Being a sorcerer means attaining the level of
awareness where previously inconceivable things are available. 10
The “inconceivable things” he is talking about include the presence of
signs and synchronicity to guide our way. When we intend something, the
universe starts to organize all of the people, situations, opportunities, and
resources we will need to accomplish our goals, and it sends these things
to us using signs and synchronistic occurrences as we move through life.
Suddenly, the exact thing we need to move us forward lands in our lap,
or we happen to meet someone who has the solution we seek. The only
thing we need to do is allow our conscious mind to tune in and receive
the guidance, take action, and move forward. In order to do this, first we
have to intend to notice and receive the signs being sent to us.
Simply by taking a few moments to consciously set your intention of
opening yourself to communication from your elevated resources, you will
set the process in motion. It’s very easy to do—in fact, you can do it right
now! The Turning Point Prayer can help you accomplish this. I chose the
name because you are indeed at a turning point. You are about to leave
behind a life without signs and synchronicities to guide you and step
forward into a new reality where everything happens for a reason and
you are always being directed by a higher power.
Plus, this prayer is not only setting your intention to receive the signs,
but it also calls in your higher help and those in your soul society. I
mentioned “soul society” earlier in the book, and I add it into all the
prayers I say myself and teach others to use because it calls in every
soul helping you on the other side of the veil. Some people refer to this
as a “soul family” or “soul group,” but it encompasses so much more than
we realize. By calling in your “soul society,” you are calling in the
collective of all those working with you in this life, along with your angels
and guides, whether you know exactly who they are or not.
The Turning Point Prayer may seem like a simple prayer, but it will help
you open the door to divine intervention. Quoting Hindu author and
mystic Patanjali, Wayne Dyer talked about “dormant forces” coming alive
in unimaginable ways when utilizing the power of intention—and that is
exactly what will begin happening in your life.
10 . Dyer, The Power of Intention , 10.
Exercise
The Turning Point Prayer
Start by centering yourself. Close your eyes and take a deep
breath in through your nose, expanding your belly as it fills with air
for the count of four. Hold it for one count, and then breathe out
through your mouth, slowly contracting your belly back in and
releasing the air out for another count of four. Do this one more
time, breathing in through the nose and out the mouth, and then
say the following prayer out loud or silently:
Dear universe, I call in my angels, guides, loved ones who have
passed, and all those in my soul society—only those of the
highest vibration—to please help me begin to notice the signs
and synchronicities being sent to me every day. Please open my
eyes, ears, heart, and mind to them from this point on as they
flow into my life. I know I have been missing many of them in the
past, but I promise to remain open and aware moving forward. I
also promise to accept the signs and synchronicities sent to me
from now on as gifts to guide me. Thank you in advance for all of
your help. Amen.
How do you feel? Are you committed to the intention you set?
The floodgates are open, my elevated friend, so relax and enjoy
the flow of signs.
Supercharge Your Intention
Being the overachiever that I am, when setting any intentions, I always
like to supercharge them, especially the ones that are very important to
me. By supercharge, I mean adding some type of ritual to the intentionsetting process. That is why when I decided to attract love, I made a list
of the qualities I wanted my soulmate to have and then burned it, which I
explained earlier. I tell my husband I manifested him in a slow cooker
because of the ritual!
To accomplish this, you don’t have to actually burn anything if you are
not comfortable with that. Intentions can be written on paper and then
ripped up and released in some other way. There is also a product called
Flying Wish Paper that allows you to write on a small piece of paper, light
it, and release it safely into the air outside. If you would like to
supercharge your Turning Point Prayer intention, here is what I
recommend:
Write the Turning Point Prayer on a piece of paper.
Light a candle, take a few deep breaths, and say the prayer
out loud.
Release the intention to the universe by burning it, ripping it
up, or using the Flying Wish Paper.
Thank the universe for listening to your intention and helping
you achieve it.
Making It a Daily Practice
Once you commit to opening your awareness and asking for help, magic
and miracles begin to unfold, and if you can make it part of your daily
routine, it happens even faster. Years ago I created a prayer for myself to
conclude my morning meditation. I wanted to set my intentions for the
day, call in any higher help I might need, and set myself up for success in
all I did. After doing this for a few days, I started noticing a difference in
how I felt throughout the day. I experienced more joy, less chaos—and,
yes, more signs and synchronicities. If I skipped a day, I would feel and
notice a difference. I decided to share it with others and the results were
amazing.
Why is it important to set your intention every day in this way, and why
does it make such a difference? Does the universe need to be reminded
in order to help you? No, it does not. The universe and your angels,
guides, and loved ones on the other side heard your intention with the
Turning Point Prayer and have already jumped on the invitation. Setting
your intention every day is for you, not for them. It centers you, brings the
concept of signs and synchronicity into your conscious mind every
morning, and sets the tone for the day. The prayer I created also calls in
your soul society to ask for assistance with anything you might be facing
that day or struggling with in the moment. You will also call in archangel
Michael to protect you from absorbing any energy from people and
places around you, and archangel Raphael to heal you from anything
keeping you from a perfect state of health.
What I developed for myself is now known by my students and clients
as my famous Morning Prayer. It only takes a couple of minutes in the
morning, but in those couple of minutes you will accomplish so much.
Morning Prayer Miracles
I remember the first time I shared this prayer in 2012 during a live class
as part of the first ever Living an Elevated Existence Summit, an online
event I host every year featuring top authors and experts on a variety of
mind/body/spirit topics. I read the prayer out loud during my class,
encouraging people to join me by repeating it along with me, and before
the one-hour class ended, I was flooded with email requests asking if I
could provide a written form of the prayer. Even today, more than seven
years later, when I talk about the prayer, people immediately want a copy
of it.
This single prayer changed so much for me and the many others who
now use it on a daily basis. I frequently get emails and Facebook
messages from people sharing the fast results they received and telling
me how the prayer has become part of their own morning routine each
day.
One of my favorite testimonials came from a man who posted on my
Facebook page to share an experience he had after saying the prayer
every morning for two weeks straight. He had a day off from work and
had been making phone calls as part of his to-do list. The last call he
needed to make was to get a schedule of upcoming local insurance
seminars he could attend for networking. He decided to head out to run a
few errands and call when he got back home. While standing in line at a
grocery store, he struck up a conversation with the woman in front of him
and soon realized it was the exact person he had planned to call when he
got back home. A coincidence? Of course not! That is the universe
helping us on our path.
How to Use the Morning Prayer
Before I share the actual prayer with you, I want to give you some
information about how to use it and also how to customize it to your
specific needs. The majority of the prayer will remain the same each day,
and you will ask for assistance in opening up to and recognizing the signs
and synchronicities sent your way. But I also provide an optional section
to call in additional and specific angels, guides, and loved ones to help
with any challenge or situation you might be facing at the time. Of course,
when you do, know that the answers will come to you through signs and
synchronistic experiences, and since you are doing this every day, you
will be much more likely to receive the answers when they arrive.
The prayer starts by calling in your elevated team for help in opening
your awareness of signs and synchronicities sent that day, and then
calling in archangel Michael to ask for protection. If you are a sensitive
person or an empath, which is someone who picks up and absorbs the
emotions of others and the environment around them, this part of the
prayer will be tremendously helpful to you. Even if you don’t think you are
empathic, we all take on energy to some extent, and archangel Michael
can protect us from doing so. I also call in archangel Raphael every day
since I am on a healing journey, intending to restore my body to perfect
health. I think many of us are trying to heal some aspect of ourselves,
whether physical or emotional, so I trust this will also be beneficial for
you. If not, you can always leave it out.
Right before the end of the prayer is the opportunity to include any
special intentions or requests you might have for that day. For example,
you might be dealing with something concerning your son or daughter
and would like to call in archangel Gabriel, who helps with all aspects of
parenting and is also very helpful with sensitive children. Maybe you are
an actor trying out for a comedic television show, so you call on the spirit
of Lucille Ball to help you nail the audition. If you are having trouble with
one of your pets, call on archangel Ariel or Saint Francis of Assisi, as
they are both known for their work with animals. Struggling in a
relationship? Call on archangel Chamuel to help repair it and find peace
between the two of you.
Feel free to call on whomever you would like in this section, but also
don’t feel you have to add something if you don’t need to at the time.
Since the prayer begins by calling in your elevated resources, you can
use this section to share anything important you need help with that day
and simply ask the collective to assist. Whether you have to give a
speech, face family members at a party where tension might brew, or are
running late for work and need traffic to be light, it can all be added in this
section. There is nothing too big or too small to include.
I have students who use the prayer every morning before they get out
of bed to start their day, and others who conclude a meditation practice
with it, the way I do. Find some way to work it into your morning routine,
either before getting the kids up for school, after you’ve dropped them off,
or before getting out of the car for work. It doesn’t matter how you use it
in the morning, as long as you use it. Try it for one week without missing
a day, and not only will you start to see more communication from the
universe, but you will feel more centered, less chaotic, and ready to take
on what life throws at you each day.
Exercise
The Morning Prayer
Dear God/Universe/Spirit, I surround myself with your beautiful
golden light as I call in my angels, guides, loved ones who have
passed, and all those in my soul society—only those of the
highest vibration—to be with me today. Please open my eyes,
ears, heart, and mind to all the signs and synchronicities that
come my way today, and help me recognize and understand
them when they arrive.
Archangel Michael, please surround me with your light and
protection. Shield me from absorbing or taking on the energy of
others or the environments I encounter today. Please keep me in
a place of love. Archangel Raphael, please continue to heal my
body so it returns to a perfect state of health, and send me to
those people, doctors, healers, resources, or modalities that can
help me do so.
(Here I include any special intentions or requests for help with
something you are working on today or in general.)
Thank you in advance for any help you provide me with today,
for all you have done in the past, and for all you will do in the
future. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Amen.
Setting an intention is one of the most powerful things you can do to
initiate changes in your life, and when you restate that intention every
day, as you will with the Morning Prayer, it will accelerate the process. It
doesn’t take much time in the morning, and you can even access a
guided meditation version of it by using the link in the resources section
on page 6 . Next, you will learn a crucial step to opening the door to more
signs and synchronicities, which is a step I find most people are simply
not doing.
[contents]
Saying yes is courage.
Saying yes is the sun. Saying yes is life.
SHONDA RHIMES
Chapter 7
Step 2: Saying Yes
What I’m about to share with you may seem simple or even obvious, but
please don’t allow the simplicity of it to deceive you because without this
step, all the others fall apart. I’m talking about saying yes to the signs and
synchronicities that come to you. It’s such a critical piece of the entire
process you are learning, but it is often overlooked and, in some cases, is
flat-out ignored. If you have never received a sign from a loved one or the
universe, then this chapter is for you. And if you think you may have
received a sign but questioned it, then this chapter is for you, too.
Have you ever experienced perfect timing, where a person, item, or
opportunity shows up out of nowhere at the exact moment you need it or
even shortly after you told someone about your need? If the answer is
yes, did you write this incident off as a coincidence and keep moving or
did you celebrate and thank the universe for the amazing gift you just
received?
Did you ever experience something repeating in your life, such as
seeing or hearing about the same book over and over from different
sources? Maybe you got an email about it, saw a Facebook post on it,
and had a friend mention they bought it? When this happens, do you go
out and buy the book, sure the universe is sending you a message, or do
you ignore it, writing it off as a strange coincidence?
Have you ever seen a loved one’s name on a license plate while
driving to a job interview, had lights flicker on and off during a holiday
dinner your loved one would have attended when they were alive, or
discovered a rose bush—your deceased mother’s favorite flower—in the
back yard of your new home, but then questioned if it was really a sign
from them?
If you answered yes to any of these scenarios or have experienced
something similar, then it’s very likely you have been overlooking this
step. But don’t worry; you are not alone. It’s human nature to question
things we don’t understand, and you have likely been living your life
without the awareness of these circumstances.
Here is how it usually plays out. We get a sign from a loved one and
worry we might be reading into things or making something up that isn’t
really happening. We say, “What if I’m wrong? What if it’s just a
coincidence?” We chalk it up to watching too much Long Island Medium
or Holly-wood Medium on television. Then we call a friend or family
member and relay the story of the sign to them so now we can question it
together. We expend all this energy of whether or not it’s a sign until we
completely talk ourselves out of it, and we miss an extraordinary
opportunity.
I often have friends and family call to share the story of a sign or
synchronistic experience because they know about my work and they
want me to confirm it’s real. They always start out with, “Tammy, the
weirdest thing happened, and I thought of you.” (To me, that sentence is
actually a compliment.) Often the phone call is their way of asking
permission to accept the sign as real and to hear it’s all right for them to
believe in it.
One time, a friend called me to share a story of what she thought might
be a sign from her best friend who had passed a few months before. She
was out on a walk and was thinking about her friend when she came
across a woman pushing a little boy in a stroller. She stopped to chat and
found out baby’s name was Mack, the same name as her best friend.
Then, she went into a store and heard a song playing that reminded her
of Mack. When she called me, she needed to hear me validate that it was
indeed her friend communicating with her.
I’ve even had friends who are a psychic or a medium call with
questions about whether it was really a sign, so don’t beat yourself up
about questioning them, especially in the beginning of this process. It’s
natural, and you have probably been rejecting so many for such a long
time that it’s second nature to do so. But I assure you, when you talk
yourself out of these miracles, telling yourself it’s just “a coincidence,” or
doubting a clear sign from a loved one because you’re afraid of being
wrong, it’s like putting a 100-pound clamp on the flow of more coming
your way. You shut down your awareness a little bit every time you reject
a sign.
On the other hand, when you say yes to these gifts from the universe
and your loved ones, you open the door for more. You begin to realize
the miracles, guidance, and love surrounding you at all times. You see
that your loved ones who have passed are not gone but actually closer to
you than you could ever imagine. You elevate your life. Why would you
deny yourself that?
A Housewarming Gift from Mom
Two years ago, my husband and I bought our first home together, and I
was having so much fun buying new things for it. I placed an online order
from Pier 1 Imports, but when my order arrived it was missing an item,
and in its place was a mug I hadn’t ordered. I pulled it out and saw it was
a beautiful ivory ceramic mug with a big M initial on it. At first I was
annoyed because I checked the packing slip and saw the missing item
was indeed listed there, but it wasn’t in the package, and there was no
mention of the mug on it anywhere. Then it hit me: my mother’s name is
Maryann, and M also stands for mom. This blunder on the part of the Pier
1 packing team was actually a gift from my mother to let me know she
was excited about the new house. I had been feeling a bit down that she
wasn’t here physically to see it and had remembered how much she
helped my sister decorate when she bought her first house. This was her
way of contributing to mine from the other side.
I called Pier 1 and explained how I was missing an item, and they
immediately shipped it out to me. I did tell them I got a mug I didn’t ask
for, but the customer service representative didn’t ask for me to send it
back. She just apologized and said she was shipping out the missing
item. That reinforced the gift from my mom even more.
If I was skeptical and not coming from a place of saying yes to signs, I
might think the M on the mug was because my last name started with
that letter. But there was no indication of the mug on the packing slip, so
there was no reason someone would add it to my order. And, let’s face it,
I’m pretty sure Pier 1 is not in the business of giving out free mugs as a
thank-you gift, so I took this as a sign and a gift from my mother. I enjoy
seeing it when I open my cabinet and think of her every time I drink from
it.
I want you to experience miracles like this in your life too, so from now
on, I need you to promise me something, right here and right now. Are
you ready? I need you to promise me you will accept all the signs and
synchronicities that come to you from this moment forward. You have my
full permission to do so—no need to be a friend or family member of
mine, or call me and tell me your story (although I love when you share
your stories with me on social media or in an email). Your loved ones are
communicating with you. The universe is lining things up for your highest
good. So stop saying no to it all and start saying yes. Deal? Good.
Asking for Proof
Think about this for one second: What happens if you are wrong about a
sign? Will the sign police come after you and lock you up? No, they
won’t. Will your local news station broadcast your mistake on the 5
o’clock news as the latest fool who thought they received a sign from the
universe or a loved one on the other side but is really crazy? Not likely.
So, I ask you again: What happens if you are wrong? The truth is this:
absolutely nothing. Nothing bad is going to happen to you. Nobody is
coming after you. And if you really find yourself unsure about a sign you
receive, the answer is very simple—ask for another one.
There is a technique in improvisational comedy called “Yes, and…”
When two people are working together on a comedy sketch, each
participant must accept what the other just said to them and then expand
on it, hence the name. This technique is also used in business when
brainstorming new ideas or solutions because it sharpens the skill of
listening and communicating. In the case of signs and synchronicities,
you are the one listening and the universe is the one communicating.
Your answer to every sign should be “Yes, and…” This can mean two
things, depending on how you feel about the sign. If you are unsure, I
want you to say yes and then throw the “and” part back at the universe or
your loved one to build upon it and send another sign for confirmation.
When we ask, it is always provided as long as we continue to say yes.
The other option is getting a sign you totally believe, understand, and
accept. In this case, the “Yes, and…” is saying, “Yes, I accept and thank
you for this sign,” and the “and” is anticipation for more signs to come in
the future.
When it comes to loved ones on the other side, author, medium, and
healer Karen Noe, whose books include Your Life After Their Death: A
Medium’s Guide to Healing After a Loss , teaches what she calls “Without
a Doubt” signs. These are signs we find easily recognizable as
something connected to a loved one who has passed. This can include
smelling their favorite perfume or pipe smoke out of the blue when you
are the only one home or a clock stopping at 12:15 and their birthday is
December 15.
A few years ago, my sister and nephew were sitting at their kitchen
island, which has four pendant lights hanging down above it. My mother’s
name came up in conversation, and the pendant light directly above their
heads flickered quickly off and on. My sister, a huge believer in signs
from the other side, told my nephew it was Grandma Maryann, our
mother, and that Grandma could hear their conversation. He didn’t
believe her. So he did exactly what I’m teaching you here: he asked for
proof!
He looked directly at the light and said, “Grandma Maryann, if that was
you, then make this light flicker again…right…now.” And just as he said
the word now , the light dimmed out and came back on again. My
nephew’s jaw dropped and he jumped up from his chair in shock. My
sister just smiled and said, “I told you so.” This is, without a doubt, a sign.
Of course, they are not always that obvious, and our loved ones don’t
always send a sign or proof on command. But when you ask them for a
sign or a second sign to prove the first one was them, they always
provide one. In fact, the reality is they want to communicate with you.
They are more than happy to oblige and let you know they are around,
see what is going on in your life, and love you as much as they did when
they were here in the physical form. The same thing goes for your guides
and angels and the universe itself. Just remember to stay open to what
comes to you and say yes when it arrives. When you do that, you keep
the divine door open for more.
A Test for My Guide
A Test for My Guide
Signs and synchronicity are my jam—they are what guide me, direct me,
encourage me, and bring me joy. But even I question things once in a
while. One day I decided to test one of my guides to make sure she was
actually my guide in this lifetime. Years ago, shortly after I started
Elevated Existence Magazine , I was introduced to an author and
psychologist who incorporated spiritual practices into her therapy practice
as a potential interview for the magazine, and as I sat down for my first
meeting with her, she looked at me and said, “You have a sister named
Gina.” I raised my eyebrows, trying to remember when I had revealed this
information to her, and said yes, discovering she was a medium and my
mother was there to share some information with me. Taken aback but
pleasantly surprised, I listened to everything she was saying, and one of
the messages was that the Blessed Mother was one of my guides.
Growing up Catholic, and with a grandmother and mother who were
extremely devoted to the Blessed Mother—which this woman had no way
of knowing prior to our meeting but reinforced to me through other
messages—it actually made a lot of sense to me, but I always wondered
it if was true. So I used the exercise from chapter 4, “Assign a Sign,” to
check. Here is what I said at the end of my morning meditation as part of
my Morning Prayer:
“Blessed Mother Mary, if you are truly one of my guides in this lifetime,
can you send me the sign of the rose today? I promise to be open to it.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.”
Then I sat down in my office, and my eyes went to the daily message
cards I have on my desk. I flip them each day to reveal a different saying,
and before I flipped the card to the newest one, I noticed the message
already showing was written on the background of a red rose. My
immediate thought was, “Well, that doesn’t count because it was
yesterday’s card.” See? I do it, too! But the difference is I applied the
“Yes, and…” technique and said, “Okay, Mother Mary, if that was you,
can you show me one more rose today?” And then I hopped on my
computer and got to work.
Not long after I asked for a second rose, an idea popped in my head to
look at an old message I had channeled on my computer a while back,
which I do from time to time when I am seeking answers. As I was
reading through the first part of the message, I saw the words “stop and
smell the roses.” I felt tingles up my spine and knew that was the second
message, and I thanked Mother Mary for the signs and for being one of
my guides…and, of course, for teaching me this lesson that she no doubt
knew I would share in this book to help others.
Just remember, from now on you are saying yes to everything that
comes your way, and if you are not sure, especially when first embarking
on your signs and synchronicities journey, just ask for another sign. Make
“Yes, and…” your new mantra and watch the miracles unfold before you.
Signs of Manifestation
Have you ever had the experience of wanting something for yourself and
then coming across other people who already have it? Maybe you are
trying to get pregnant, and suddenly your coworker and then one of your
good friends tells you they are having a baby. Or you need a new car and
really want a Range Rover. You can’t afford it yet, and then you see
someone post on Facebook that they just leased one. Perhaps you have
been working on manifesting something into your life, and even created a
vision board for what you want to attract, but all you see are other people
manifesting your dreams instead of you. That’s totally annoying, right? I
mean, why is the universe rubbing your face in the fact that you don’t
have what you want and other people do?
Well, it’s not. It’s actually showing you signs of what you too are
capable of achieving, and letting you know it’s on its way. It’s like the
previews in the movie theater—those movies are not out yet, but they are
coming soon. Start looking at what you see other people having as your
coming attractions—your own personal movie preview. Start celebrating
and saying, “Yeah, the universe is reminding me that what I want is
possible, and it’s coming,” and stop getting annoyed and comparing your
life to the lives of others, secretly hating on them for having what you
want. Stop allowing it to frustrate you and make you feel bad about your
current life conditions. It’s time to reframe this and view it as signs you
are on your way. You can have, be, and do whatever you desire; you
were created that way. This means if you see someone else who
achieved what you want, you can do it too, and the universe is sending
you a sign to let you know it. Other people often serve as mirrors in your
life, helping you see things about yourself, both good and bad, and the
universe will use them to get your attention.
The same thing goes when you come across something you didn’t
even realize you wanted until you saw someone else with it. You might
be scrolling through Facebook and see a friend who received a job
promotion celebrating with her family. Instead of being angry at your boss
and feeling bad that your career is not where you want it to be, take this
as a sign from the universe that you too are capable of more. If you can’t
get more out of your current position or company, take this as a sign to
start looking elsewhere so you can grow and advance.
Remember, the universe is always communicating with you, and it’s
always for your highest good. If something comes into your conscious
awareness, pay attention to it. If you’re already trying to bring it into your
life and you see someone else achieve it, take it as a positive sign it’s on
its way to you, too. If it’s something you didn’t even realize you wanted
but now do, take it as a sign that it’s possible, and start on a plan to
create it in your life.
Beware of Attachment
There is one caveat to saying yes to signs that I have to mention,
specifically when looking for guidance or an answer to something like
“Should I buy this car?” or “Should I end this relationship?” When there is
emotional attachment to a situation, it makes it much more difficult to
remain objective, and those emotions will cloud your judgment. When
you really want an outcome to be a certain way, you can suddenly start
finding “evidence” around you because you are only looking for things
that agree with what you are emotionally attached to at the moment—and
you could even be blocking signs pointing you in the opposite direction.
This is especially true when it comes to relationships. In the past, when
I was in a relationship that I knew was not healthy for me, romantic or
otherwise, something inside of me knew the truth, but it still took a while
to walk away. Relationships are the easiest place to have emotional
attachment, and signs can easily be misinterpreted. You could be
questioning the relationship and then come across a nice card the person
gave you and think it’s a sign the universe is telling you to hold on. Or
maybe they come home with flowers one night, even though the week
before the fighting was relentless, and you say, “See? The universe
wants me to work it out.” This is not likely the universe. This is your own
emotional attachment getting in the way of you seeing the situation
clearly. In cases like this, you really need a third party to help you see
beyond your own feelings and thoughts.
This is why psychics and mediums often say they can’t read for
themselves. We get emotionally attached to things, people, and
situations in our own lives, and it’s very hard to remain objective. When
using oracle cards, tarot cards, or even a pendulum, it’s best to have
someone else pull the card or ask the pendulum for you to inquire about
decisions where there is emotional attachment or an emotional charge to
the situation in any way. And let me be very clear here: the universe and
your angels, guides, and loved ones on the other side will never, ever
guide you to stay in a situation that is harmful or negative to you in any
way. It will also not guide you to purchase something when you are
already in debt or do something that would put you or someone else in
danger. The universe always has your highest good in mind, and that
does not include any of the above. I always try to look at things in my
own life as if I was advising a friend, client, or student about their life. If I
would tell them what they are doing is probably not a good idea, then it’s
very unlikely the universe would tell them (or me) to move forward.
That being said, when it comes to signs from loved ones letting you
know they are around, just say yes. And if you have no emotional
attachment to something and are guided to a particular book, doctor, or
something else that will ultimately help you in a positive way, just say
yes. If you feel yourself emotionally attached to an outcome, though,
seek advice from a neutral party.
I’m sure something in this chapter reminded you of a time when you
questioned or ignored a sign in the past—like I said, I do it too from time
to time! But now that you’ve agreed to accept the signs that come to you,
especially when they come from loved ones who have passed on, you
are ready for the next two steps in this process, which are to notice and
to capture. First I’m going to teach you tips to help you notice the signs
when they arrive. Then we’ll talk about how to capture them so you won’t
forget them and can look back on them to find synchronicities in the
future, as well as start to create your own sign resource guide.
[contents]
The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in
having new eyes.
MARCEL PROUST
Chapter 8
Steps 3 & 4:
Notice and Capture
In Chapter 5 you learned how to start taming the chaos in your life so
signs and synchronicities can make their way into your conscious
awareness. By setting your intention with the Morning Prayer every day
in Chapter 6 , and saying yes to the signs coming your way in Chapter 7 ,
you are well on your way to syncing up with the universe so you can hear
the messages it’s sending you. Now we can move on to step 3, notice,
and step 4, capture. I’m going to share tips and strategies to help you
notice the signs around you every day, and then capture them so you can
begin to create your very own reference guide to help you in the future.
Capturing will also help you connect the synchronistic dots as they unfold
in your life. Additionally, part of noticing signs and synchronicities is
discovering them in your own past, and I’ll share an exercise to help you
do that in this chapter as well. Once you start seeing the miraculous
connections that have already taken place in your own life, you will be
more apt to recognize them in the future. It will also boost your faith in the
universe and where it’s leading you because you will see how it has
guided you every step of the way until now.
Key Phrases
As I explained, most people write off signs and synchronicities from the
universe as coincidences or random good luck, not looking deeper to
discover the miraculous within these seemingly ordinary circumstances.
But after the last chapter, you are not one of those people anymore! You
are saying yes to the signs coming your way now, so I want to share
some key phrases you can start paying attention to—whether they are
said by you or someone around you—that can clue you in to the signs
and synchronicities occurring. These phrases can trigger you to pay
attention in the moment because it’s likely there is a message from the
universe in progress. They are actually pretty common phrases, but until
now, you’ve probably never connected them to signs and synchronicities.
Here are the phrases to start paying attention to:
Wow, what a coincidence!
That was perfect timing!
I was just looking for that.
I have been trying to figure that out, and here is the answer!
This is exactly what I’ve been looking for, and now it’s here.
This is just what I need right now.
This must be my lucky day.
This is so weird/strange/crazy.
The strangest/weirdest thing happened…
Isn’t that crazy/weird/strange?
All of a sudden, out of the blue…
When you hear yourself or someone else saying something related to
the above, take it as a signal to look deeper into what is happening at
that moment. The “coincidence” or “perfect timing” or the answer you
were looking for popping up “out of the blue” or the “strange” or “weird”
occurrence—all are likely signs the universe is trying to get your attention
or providing you with an answer you need. I have a friend whom I meet
with at least once a month, even if just by phone, to catch up and advise
one another on our respective businesses. We tried to turn this into a
mastermind group and add more people in the past, but it never panned
out. After reconnecting with someone I knew a couple years prior, I had
the idea of asking her to join our group. We scheduled a time to chat and
when I brought it up she said, “Wow, this is so crazy. I was just talking to
my friend Jessie, and we both said we wanted to start a mastermind
group for business, but were not sure who to ask. We just said when the
time was right, we would know. What is even crazier is I was supposed to
meet up with her last night, but we canceled it and I’m talking to her this
evening, so I’ll ask her what she thinks.”
Notice the phrase “wow, this is so crazy” started it all. That is perfect
timing, and that is the universe. Plus, it turns out the three of us have the
same literary agent. Don’t you just love how this stuff lines up? If you find
yourself saying one of the key phrases or some version of them, know
your angels, guides, and the universe are offering you a helping hand.
Maybe you asked for guidance and an answer was provided, or maybe
this “lucky” occurrence is reinforcing you are on the right track with
something in your life. As I’ve said, there are no accidents or
coincidences. The universe always knows what it’s doing.
Mining the Past for Proof
I’m not a fan of revisiting the past, especially if it leads to regret or upset.
The past is over, and the most important place to focus on is the present,
where we can visualize the future we want to co-create with the universe
and enjoy each moment as it happens. However, when done with
intention and a goal, such as uncovering the cause of a limiting belief so
we can heal in the present, or discovering details that can help us bring
positivity into our present and future, then I’m all for it. And this is
definitely the case when it comes to synchronicity. You can read all the
stories in the world about other people’s synchronistic experiences and
believe it when I say the universe is always working for your highest
good, but until you actually see the dots connect in your own life—until
you can look back and find the proof that everything in your life is leading
you somewhere for your highest good—I find it just doesn’t truly sink in,
and you can’t reap all the rewards it provides until you do.
In Chapter 3 , I had you create a timeline for your life so far, where you
noted all the major and important events already experienced, both
positive and seemingly negative, so you could start connecting the dots
in your past. Now you’re going to take it a step further and go deeper with
that exercise. The goal is to find some of the reasons and meaning
behind the events in your past, whether it was meeting someone new,
getting fired from a job, or moving to a new state. A perfect example is a
friend of mine who grew up in New Jersey and then moved to California
because a woman he was dating relocated. That relationship eventually
ended, but he decided to stay in California. Shortly after, he ran into his
high school sweetheart, who had also relocated to California from New
Jersey. Today they are happily married, and if he had not followed the
other woman to California, this rekindling of old love might not have taken
place. The universe used the relationship that didn’t work out to get him
to another state so he could reconnect with his soulmate.
The Follow the Footsteps exercise will help you zoom in on details like
this and uncover the synchronistic forces behind the events in your life.
Once you start asking the right questions and tracing back the events in
your past, you can discover meaning behind things that might have
seemed meaningless to you beforehand. I had a student challenge me
on this once, saying she went to college for a degree in psychology and
isn’t doing anything related to that degree. She asked what the purpose
was behind her studying that and going to that college if she wasn’t going
to do anything with it. I started asking her the questions you will ask
yourself in the following exercise, and it turns out she met her fiancé at
the school. I think that is a pretty good reason for attending that college,
don’t you? Was she working as a psychologist? No, but she worked as
an intuitive coach, and the training she received for her degree definitely
helped.
Exercise
Follow the Footsteps
Get out your Life Timeline fromChapter 3 . If you didn’t do it, pick
one major event in your life and do this exercise. By answering the
following questions about a specific event or person in your life,
you will be following the footsteps in your past so you can find the
synchronistic connections that led you along the way, although you
were likely not aware of them at the time. This exercise can be
done as many times as you like to link all the events on your
timeline. Prepare to be amazed at some of the things you uncover!
Follow the Footsteps Questions:
Write down one person or event that was significant in your
life (your spouse, best friend, getting fired from a job, etc.).
Why was this event or person significant in your life?
How did you meet this person, or what/who led to this event
happening?
What had to happen before this in order for it to occur?
Where did meeting this person or experiencing this event
lead you next?
What might not have happened if you didn’t meet this
person or experience this event?
What did this person or this event teach you or help you
understand?
Here is how I would answer the Follow the Footsteps questions using
an example from my life:
Write down one person or event that was significant in your life (your
spouse, best friend, getting fired from a job, etc.). >> Dana
Why was this event or person significant in your life? >> She advised
me in creating my Living an Elevated Existence Summit, which is now in
its seventh season and has helped me grow my business tremendously.
She also introduced me to two other entrepreneurs by inviting me to join
a mastermind group, which has been essential to my growth personally
and professionally.
How did you meet this person or what led to this event happening?
Who or what led you to this? What had to happen in order for this to
occur? >> After calling in Higher Help, I was led to sign up for someone
else’s summit, where I got the idea to create my own. Doing online
research led me to Dana, who I remembered getting emails from in the
past when she was running her own summits. I decided to email her and
ask if I could pick her brain.
Where did meeting this person or experiencing this event lead you
next? >> The summit I created with her guidance was a huge success.
My audience grew and my business made more money that year than it
ever had in the past. We stayed in touch over the years, and in 2015 she
invited me to be part of a small mastermind group of entrepreneurs that
has been invaluable to my personal and professional growth.
What might not have happened if you didn’t meet this person or
experience this event? >> I might have hired the wrong people (she
steered me away from someone I was originally looking to work with),
and I might not have even launched the summit or had the confidence to
do it without her advice and direction. I would also not be part of this
mastermind group, where I met two other people who are helping me in
countless ways. I would not have the growth I do today without them.
What did this person or this event teach me or help me understand? >>
Dana teaches about the power of a positive mindset, and she has helped
me have more confidence, gain more marketing knowledge, and believe
in myself and my abilities. Being part of the mastermind group has
brought me opportunities and resources I would not have had without it.
Capturing Evidence
Capturing Evidence
Anytime you notice yourself saying one of the key phrases, recognize a
sign from a loved one, or become aware of any sign or synchronistic
occurrence, it’s important to capture it and make a note of it right away
before you forget. Going through your day, as you come across a sign or
a synchronistic experience, write it down. I use the notes app on my
phone when I’m on the go and then transfer it to a journal at night, but
you can also carry a small notebook with you dedicated just to capturing
the signs you experience. For each one, write down the date, the sign,
why it was significant, and who you think it was from, even if you are not
sure. By doing this, you will be reinforcing the sign in your mind, letting
the universe or your loved one know you received it, and you will be
recording it in your nighttime journal, which I’ll explain next. The journal
will essentially help you track everything for future use and reference,
and also create your own guidebook of signs.
As I explained in Chapter 4 , our loved ones often use signs unique to
them or meaningful to us, so it’s important to keep track of the language
they are using to get our attention. You will even find that each loved one
will use different signs and symbols to communicate, so it’s important to
track them so you recognize them again in the future. For example, if
your father was a smoker, he might use a tobacco smell to get your
attention, while your grandmother loved butterflies and uses them to let
you know she is around.
On a recent shopping trip at the grocery store, I heard the song “More
Than a Feeling” by Boston. This song reminds me of my mother because
it literally has her name, MaryAnn, in it. I know my mother uses her name
to get my attention, and I’ve heard this song before and thought of her.
It’s now a sign she uses over and over to get my attention. I got my cell
phone out and, in the notes section, typed in the date, the name of the
song, and that I heard it in the grocery store. I could also note if I was
thinking about something in particular at the time or going through
something significant in my life as a reason she wanted me to know she
was there.
Another example of the universe getting my attention happened over
text message. I was in a group text with my mastermind team and sent a
long sentence describing something I wanted their opinion on. One
person texted back asking if I could shorten it, so I did. As soon as I hit
send with the shortened sentence, he texted me back the exact same
sentence, edited in the exact same way. It was incredible, and I knew it
was the universe answering me through him. I wrote that down so I could
remember the support I received. I also know the universe and my loved
ones will use my cell phone to get my attention in a number of ways—
and I know this because I’ve tracked the occurrences in the past.
Because you are taking the time to be present and record each sign,
you are more likely to remember it. Then, when the universe uses a sign
repeatedly to get your attention and move you in a new direction, you will
be more aware to notice it. You will also be able to look back over your
notes and connect the dots of synchronicity easier, as well as spot
repetition you might have missed. If you try to store all of this information
in your own mind, you will be more apt to forget or miss something.
Your Signs and Synchronicity Nighttime Journal
It’s time to take capturing signs to the next level by creating your own
signs and synchronicity nighttime journal. It doesn’t matter if it’s a pretty
embossed leatherbound journal or a simple spiral notebook. I just want
you to designate something that will only be used for tracking your signs
and synchronicities. This is going to allow you to capture everything that
happens to you during the day, and then record insights using the Replay
Your Day exercise below. You will also record signs from loved ones
here to create your reference guide.
When you open the notebook or journal, I suggest using the left-side
pages to record the date and answer the Replay Your Day exercise
questions (see exercise below) and the right-side pages for your
reference guide from loved ones or other signs from the universe. Here
you can record signs from different loved ones, a new sign the universe
used to get your attention, and repeating numbers. Look up the number’s
metaphysical meaning online and record it in this section so you
remember it.
The Replay Your Day exercise should be done each night and will only
take a couple of minutes. Also, you can look back once per week or once
per month to see what you recorded and spot any patterns, repetition, or
synchronistic links. The more you do this, the more you will become
aware of signs, guidance, and direction from the universe and loved ones
as it’s happening. For example, if you write down the name of a book
someone told you about on Monday, and then the following Wednesday
you come across the book again, you will remember writing it down and
know this is likely a book you need to read.
Exercise
Replay Your Day
Even though you will be capturing the signs you notice throughout
the day in your journal, there are still other events that occur during
your day that can be useful to track synchronicities in the future.
For example, maybe you started a new class, heard the name of a
book you want to read, or met someone new. Just as I urge you to
write signs down as soon as they occur so you don’t forget them,
it’s helpful to replay your day each night to record anything
significant for the same reason. Think of it like pressing a rewind
button on your life and then hitting play. You will start with the
moment you get up and watch the movie of your day play out in
your mind.
I created the following nightly ritual questions to help you take
inventory of your day and become more conscious and aware of
the subtle messages and guidance from the universe. As you ask
yourself each question, replay the day in your mind in order to
answer them. Also, refer back to any notes you took during the day
and be sure to record them as well. Answering these questions
each night is also priming your mind to become more aware of the
events happening each day. This will open your awareness even
further so you start to notice the answers to these questions
throughout your day as they play out.
Did anything happen today that I would call a coincidence?
Did I come across anything I heard about before today (i.e.,
the name of a book, doctor, a new diet)?
Did the universe send me any reinforcement or
reassurance today about something I am thinking about
doing? (For example, you want to learn more about knitting
and came across an online ad for a local class, or you
would like to find a yoga studio in your area and a coworker
mentions signing up for one.)
Did I meet anyone new today or run into someone I have
not seen in a while? If yes, what happened?
Did anything happen today (or did I see/hear/feel/smell
anything today) that reminded me of a loved one who has
passed on?
Did anything surprising happen today? Did something work
out unexpectedly? Did an answer finally come to me to
solve a problem? If yes, what was it and how did it happen?
Exercise
Crystals to Open Awareness
All crystals carry their own unique energy, and below is a list of
those that can help you open your awareness, heighten intuition,
and even help attract synchronicity to you. These can be used
throughout the home, carried with you in a purse or pocket, and
even held while you are saying your morning prayer or calling in
higher help. I have an angelite stone in my meditation room to hold
when I talk with my angels and guides, and I have a celestite
geode in my bedroom that offers calming energy to that space and
helps connect me with my elevated resources in my dream state.
Angelite: As a strong communication stone, it will help you raise
your conscious awareness, as well as connect and communicate
with angels and guides.
Apophyllite: Great for meditation and opening the intuition, this
stone can also help you receive messages from angels and
guides.
Celestite: Like angelite, it is blue in color and can help you connect
with angels. It’s also a very calming stone ideal to keep in your
bedroom or even next to your bed.
Fluorite: Link your mind to the universe, increase intuition, and
connect to the spirit realms with this stone. Purple fluorite, in
particular, can help open your intuitive awareness and enhance
communication with the universe, angels, and guides.
Labradorite: Often referred to as a magical stone, it has been said to
increase the occurrence of synchronicity and open intuition. It
also can help shield your aura and protect against negativity.
Moonstone: Helps to open your mind to synchronicities in life and
enhances intuition and emotional balance.
Signs and synchronicities are happening around you all the time, and
now you have new tips and tools to help open your awareness so you
can begin to notice them as they arrive. And by capturing them each day,
you will become aware of even more because you will be placing your
attention on them regularly. Once you awaken this part of your mind, you
will begin looking at life in a new and more magical way. You will find
meaning in what seems meaningless and begin to create a dialogue with
the universe and your loved ones on the other side, which will help guide
you, protect you, and increase your faith in all aspects of life. The next
and final step in the process is managing your vibration because the
higher your vibes, the more open you are to the universe and its
messages.
[contents]
You cannot perceive
what you are not in the vibration of.
DARRYL ANKA
Chapter 9
Step 5:
Reach a Higher Vibration
Everything covered in this book up until now has been aimed at opening
your awareness to the signs and synchronicities happening in your life,
which are being sent to help you, guide you, and reassure you. This
chapter introduces you to step 5 in the process, and it takes everything
you’ve learned so far to the next level. It’s time to reach a higher vibration
and learn tools and techniques to help you maintain your high vibes
throughout each day. Why? Because the higher your vibration, the easier
it is to connect with your elevated resources so you can see and hear the
messages coming your way.
Understanding Your Vibes
Everything in this universe is made up of energy, including the book (or
e-reader) in your hands right now, the surface you’re sitting or lying down
on, and your own physical body. It’s all vibrating at a certain frequency,
and the higher the vibration, the better. When you are vibrating at a
higher frequency, you will feel good, be in the flow to receive the things
you desire, and be able to connect with your angels, guides, and loved
ones who have passed, including recognizing and receiving signs from
them.
Knowing this, the obvious goal would be to reach a higher vibration
and stay in that state for as long as you can. It’s wonderful to have
elevated moments in our life when everything seems to flow smoothly
and we feel great, but it’s another thing to live an elevated existence,
where elevation is your normal mode and you only occasionally dip down
into lower vibrations. Well, guess what? You have control over your
vibration, and there are tools and practices that can help you not only
raise your vibes, but also keep them high as long as possible.
Nobody is perfect, and we all have our moments or days when
something unexpected pops up or we find ourselves worried, anxious, or
sad about a situation in our life. But the more you learn to boost your
vibration and hang out in that amazing space, the more you will notice
when you fall out of it and then quickly get yourself back. Just remember,
the higher your vibes, the more in sync you are with the universe and its
messages for you. Plus, the side effect is you will feel happier and attract
more. Now that is a side effect I can get on board with, and I’m guessing
so can you.
Signs and Your Vibration
Just as you are vibrating at a certain frequency, your angels, guides, and
loved ones who have passed are also vibrating at a certain level.
Because they are in spirit form and have shed the dense energy that
comes with this physical body, they are vibrating much higher than those
of us still living in this physical world. If you ask any psychic medium who
delivers messages from loved ones on the other side, they will tell you
that in order to receive the messages, they must intentionally raise their
vibration, and our loved ones must intentionally lower their vibration.
This is even more important when working with angels or ascended
masters because they are at an even higher level than our loved ones in
spirit. You have to raise and manage your vibration on a regular basis to
receive the messages being sent to you. If you don’t, it’s like putting up a
“road closed” sign between spirit and your conscious mind; the messages
can’t get through. They are still happening, of course, but you just won’t
be aware of them.
Where Is Your Frequency?
The good news is, you are 100 percent in control of your frequency and
the level of your vibration, which also means you are more in control of
receiving signs and synchronicities from the universe than you might
think. The bad news is, most people have no idea what level they are
vibrating at or how to intentionally raise their vibration even when they do.
I covered taming the chaos earlier in this book because that is the first
step in gaining more control over your vibration. Now it’s time to kick it up
a notch.
Do you know where your vibration is right now? When I ask clients and
students in my courses this question, I often hear “I’m sure it’s low” or “I
don’t know.” The follow-up question I always ask is, “How are you feeling
right now?” The way you are feeling is an immediate indicator of where
your vibration is at any given moment. If the answer is you are feeling
happy, grateful, hopeful, or even simply content, then your vibration is on
the high end. If you answer with feelings such as frustrated, worried, or
overwhelmed, you are dipping into the lower end of the spectrum, and if
the words anxious, depressed, or fearful come to mind, you are in serious
need of a boost.
What causes your vibration to tank? Getting caught up in the chaos of
everyday life and allowing it to affect your emotions, stirring up worry,
anxiety, stress, and fear. Being around negative people or in negative
environments where you take on energy that is not yours—go back to the
Shield exercise in Chapter 5 for how to protect yourself from the energy
of other people. Negative thoughts and beliefs swirling in your mind also
directly affect your emotions, which in turn affect your vibration. Getting
lost in regret over the past or worry about the future means you are not in
the present moment, which is where the signs are happening. All of this
takes you out of flow and out of sync with the universe, and if you are not
synced up, you will not notice the signs, even if you ask for them.
Remember this: When your vibes are low, you are out of flow. When your
vibes are high, the universe will reply.
The first thing to do when you uncover a negative emotional state is to
go right to your thoughts. Ask yourself, “What am I thinking about right
now, and what have I been thinking about or talking to myself about
today?” Your thoughts are the key contributor to your emotional state.
Negative thoughts produce negative emotions, which equal a lower
vibration. Positive thoughts create positive emotions, which equal a
higher vibration. That’s why in the spiritual community you often hear
people say if you change the way you think, your whole life can change.
Changing your thoughts at any given moment puts you back in control of
your vibration and back in sync with the universe. Happiness really is
only one thought away.
Elevating Your Vibes
The most powerful thing you can do to elevate your vibration is to
connect with the emotions of love and gratitude. It may sound cliché, but
it’s truly the way the universe works. When you are holding thoughts of
love, gratitude, and appreciation, you radiate that energy out into the
world around you and your vibration will soar. Your angels, guides and
loved ones on the other side exist 100 percent of the time in this glorious
high vibration, and the more you connect with it, the more you connect
with them (and their messages). When you find yourself feeling negative
and realize your own thoughts are contributing to that state, switching to
gratitude can stop the downward spiral fast.
There have been numerous studies on gratitude showing people who
make it part of their daily lives have fewer health problems, increased
happiness, and reduced depression. In fact, one study found that writing
in a gratitude journal for as little as fifteen minutes each night may even
improve sleep. Below is an exercise you can use to elevate your vibration
at any time. I recommend going back to this exercise throughout the day
so you can maintain your high vibes, too.
Exercise
3-Minute Mood Boost
This exercise can be done in three minutes or less and will help
you intentionally raise your vibration. It’s fast and simple but very
effective. It can be done anywhere and at any point during the day
when you need a boost.
Step 1: Notice Your Thoughts (30–60 seconds)
As soon as you start feeling any negative emotion, the first place
to look is in your own mind. Ask yourself, “What have I been
thinking about? What is bothering me right now?”
Step 2: Reset Your Mind (30–60 seconds)
Close your eyes and focus on your breath. Repeat the word
“release” in your mind as you intentionally release all the negative
thoughts that brought you to your current emotional state.
Step 3: Plug Into Gratitude (30–60 seconds)
Shift your focus to the positive by plugging into the things you are
grateful for right now. If you are worried about something specific
that caused your negative thoughts, you can focus your gratitude
on that area. For example, if you are unhappy about your job,
switch to “I’m grateful for my job because it allows me to buy the
things I need right now, like food and clothing, and to pay my bills,
like the rent or the mortgage. I am grateful for the experience I am
gaining and can use it to help me get a new job in the future. I am
grateful for the three weeks of vacation I get every year.”
However, you can also go to gratitude about anything in your
life, such as your spouse who cooked dinner for you the night
before or the birthday card your son made you last month. Your
mind can’t think two things at the same time, so when you are
focused on the good, you are not worried about what is missing or
challenging, which will only dip your vibration, cause you to attract
more of what you don’t want, and miss the signs from the universe.
Bonus Step: Surrender Your Worries
If you find yourself consumed by worry about something going on
or a problem that needs a solution, take an additional 30–60
seconds and surrender the worry or worries over to the universe to
be resolved for the highest good of all involved. When you
intentionally hand over your worries and challenges to the universe
and ask for help, not only are you off the hook from worrying, but
you also open yourself up to signs and guidance. For each worry
you hand over, simply say,
I give this to you, Universe, to be resolved. Please send me the
signs and guidance so I may find a solution in my highest good
and the highest good of all involved. I trust you with this and let
go. Thank you.
Gratitude Practices
In addition to the 3-Minute Mood Boost, there are other ways to
incorporate gratitude into your daily life to elevate your vibration. Here are
few to consider:
Start Your Day in Gratitude
Whether you have a gratitude journal that you write in every morning or
simply list out loud three things you are grateful for before you get out of
bed in the morning, when you start your day in the vibration of gratitude,
you start your day with high vibes.
End Your Day in Gratitude
Every night I write down five things I am grateful for that happened
during the day, whether it was help from a friend, my husband picking up
dinner on his way home from work, or an email from a student sharing
their success with my teachings. It ensures I end my day at a high
vibration, feeling good. Again, you can use a journal or just think of a few
things you are grateful for before you close your eyes for the night.
Add Gratitude to Your 60-Second Retreats
In Chapter 5 , I shared with you the power of 60-second retreat breaks
to bring you back to the present moment, tame the chaos in your life, and
raise your vibration throughout the day. For an added boost, at the end of
the 60 seconds, before you open your eyes, name a couple of things you
are grateful for and really feel that gratitude in your heart. If you can, try
and name different things each time, whether it’s something from the
present or from when you were a child. The goal is to focus on the feeling
of appreciation and recognize how blessed you are and have been
throughout your life.
Focused Gratitude
If you are struggling in one area of your life, whether it’s money, work,
your health, or a relationship, when practicing gratitude, try focusing your
efforts on the area you are trying to change. This will change your energy
about it and the energy around the challenge. For example, if you are
fighting with someone in your life, when you practice your morning
gratitude, think of things you are grateful for related to that person. You
can do the same for your evening gratitude or during your 60-second
breaks. Do this for one week and you will be amazed at how the
relationship repairs itself.
Find the Abundance
So often we focus on what is missing in our lives that we become
oblivious to all we already possess. If you want to boost your vibration
with gratitude and call in more abundance in your life, walk around your
home and notice all that you have right now. Look at all the clothes you
have, cosmetics, dishes and glassware in the kitchen, and even the food
in the refrigerator. For some reason I tend to collect throw blankets. I
have enough for ten or more guests who might get cold when visiting my
house, but I can’t resist new ones when I come across them. Feel how
abundant you already are and be grateful for the money to purchase
each item or for the people who gave you the items as a gift.
Sign Gratitude
Every single time you recognize a sign from the universe or your loved
ones on the other side, stop and take a minute to be grateful, not only to
them for sending the sign and guidance, but to yourself for noticing it
when it arrived. Doing this will set you up to receive even more in the
future.
Set a Gratitude Alarm
Set an alarm on your cell phone or watch that goes off a couple times
during the day, and if you can, add the word gratitude . When the alarm
goes off, stop and name three things you are grateful for in that moment.
Keeping Your Vibes High
In addition to using gratitude throughout your day, there are other tools
that can assist you in achieving (and maintaining) a higher vibration.
These include what you are listening to throughout the day, doing things
that make you happy, the foods and drinks you consume, meditation and
mindfulness, using visualization, elevating your environment, and
protecting your vibration from negativity. Adopting some form of each can
do wonders for keeping your vibration up. Below is a deeper look at each
one, plus recommendations to help you implement them into your life:
Listening to High Vibrations
One of the easiest ways to keep your vibration elevated is monitoring
what you’re listening to throughout the day, including music, talk radio,
podcasts, or videos. This also includes the morning and evening news. I
understand if you want to stay informed, but know it is affecting your
vibration so you will need to boost it back up when you are done
watching or listening. I personally don’t watch the news and prefer to
read things online when I want to know more information about
something going on in the world. If the news media focused more on
reporting positive stories, I would be all in, but that is not the case at this
point, at least not in the United States. For me it’s just a big dose of fear
and sadness, and I know I’m sensitive to it. If you are a news junkie, try
avoiding it for a couple of days and see if you notice a difference in how
you feel.
On the flip side, you can choose to fill your ears and inject your
vibration with a dose of positivity and love by consciously choosing the
music, podcasts, or videos you listen to or watch throughout the day. The
use of music in particular as a therapy has been shown to reduce pain,
calm anxiety, and improve overall mental health. In fact, the Chinese
character for medicine includes the character for music . There are so
many high-vibrational music sources available today. You can download
music to your cell phone and even stream music live using a variety of
devices.
One of my favorite go-to sources for high vibrational music for a
positive effect on the body and mind is the work of Don Campbell, whose
best-selling book The Mozart Effect: Tapping the Power of Music to Heal
the Body, Strengthen the Mind, and Unlock the Creative Spirit reveals
how exposing the body and mind to sound and other forms of vibration
have a sustained effect on an individual. He also created a number of
music albums designed to change the brain for specific purposes from
relaxation and healing to creativity and learning.
Follow Your Joy
If positive feelings equate to a higher vibration, then doing things that
bring you joy is an ideal way to keep your vibes at a higher level. If you
can find time each day to do something that makes you feel happy, no
matter how small, you will elevate yourself into a higher vibrational state
—even if it’s getting a morning latte from your favorite coffeehouse.
When I was working in New York City, a coworker and I had a daily ritual
of walking to the closest Starbucks, and I looked forward to it every day. I
also love to read and am always looking to learn new things, so each
night I look forward to diving into a book (I’m usually reading more than
one at a time) before I go to sleep. It could be a self-help, memoir, or
business book, but reading and learning bring me joy.
Another option is spending time with your pet. You can’t help but feel
joy when with your animals because they radiate the vibration of
unconditional love. Even watching one of your favorite television shows,
and looking forward to it all day, can provide a jolt of joy. My husband and
I are Food Network Baking Championship junkies. Seriously, whether it’s
fall, spring, or the kids’ baking championship, we are all in. We have so
much fun watching them together. If you have a crafting hobby like
knitting, sewing, or making jewelry or enjoy restoring old cars and
motorcycles or building furniture, make sure you set aside time every
week to focus on it, even if it’s only an hour. You will be boosting your
vibes, connecting yourself with the universe, and aligning yourself with
the signs and synchronicities around you.
And for all those to-dos on your list that don’t bring you joy, I have a
solution in the following exercise!
Exercise
Infuse It with Joy
Set aside at least thirty minutes to do the following exercise. I
teach this as part of my How to Create an Elevated Year class
each year in December because it’s a great way to prepare for the
energy of a new year, but it can be done at any time of the year.
You are going to look at everything you do on a daily, weekly,
monthly, or yearly basis and take note of the things that bring you
joy and the things that do not. For those that don’t bring you joy,
we are going to find a way to fix it.
Step 1: Taking Inventory
Make a list of all the things you do daily, weekly, monthly,
quarterly, or yearly. Daily things might include making breakfast,
taking the kids to school, stopping for coffee on the way to work,
working at your job, cooking dinner, putting the kids to bed. Weekly
might be cleaning the house, grocery shopping, and laundry.
Monthly could be volunteer work or paying bills. Also, go month by
month to figure out things you might do on a yearly basis. Maybe
you host a Valentine’s party in February or Thanksgiving dinner in
November.
Step 2: Evaluate and Elevate
The goal here is for you to make everything you do feel joyful. One
by one, go through each item on your list and ask yourself the
following:
Does this make me feel good when I do it? Do I enjoy this?
If the answer is yes, then move on to the next item on your
list. If the answer is no, then ask yourself:
Can I delete it? Can I stop doing it altogether or cut down
on the frequency of doing it? If the answer is no, continue to
the next question.
Can I delegate it? Can I hire someone else to do it or ask
for help from a friend, partner, or family member? For
example, if you don’t enjoy grocery shopping, can you order
groceries online and have them delivered to you? Can you
set aside some money to hire a cleaning crew once or twice
per month? If the answer is yes, move to the next item on
your list. If the answer is no, continue to the next question.
How can I make this more joyful? If you can’t delete or
delegate, then the only option is to elevate! Ask yourself
how you can make the activity you are engaging in more
joyful while you are doing it. For example, try listening to an
uplifting podcast or audiobook while you are cleaning the
house, doing laundry, cooking meals, or commuting. You
could also reward yourself for doing the activity, so after
cleaning you spend an hour on a hobby you enjoy or
catching up on some television shows you love watching.
And, of course, you could always use the power of gratitude
and list three positive things about the activity before you
engage in it. If it’s weekly cleaning, you can focus on how
much you enjoy a clutter-free environment once the
cleaning is done, and even use the time to be grateful for all
the objects you are cleaning. If you are unhappy at work,
focus on gratitude for the paycheck, that your position
allows you to work at home sometimes, or that the
commute is quick and easy for you.
Step 3: Take Action
Now that you have discovered what brings you joy and what does
not, and made a plan for what is not as joyful, it’s time to put it into
action. Delete and delegate what you can, and then elevate the
rest!
Food and Drink
Everything is energy and carries a vibration, and this includes the
foods you eat and the liquids you drink. I’m not here to preach a certain
diet or way of eating; I just want you to be aware that what you take into
your body has an effect on your vibration. Consuming sugary foods will
lower it, while organic fruits and vegetables will raise it. Where can you
add some higher vibrational, unprocessed, whole foods into your diet
throughout the day? Can you snack on fruit, make yourself fresh juices or
smoothies in the morning, or cook and bake your own meals rather than
opting for prepacked items so you can control the ingredients?
The same holds true for what we drink. Sugar-filled soda and
processed juices will have a lower vibration than freshly squeezed
organic juice and filtered water. The best example of how liquid,
specifically water, can hold a vibration is the work of Japanese scientist
Masaru Emoto and his book The Hidden Messages of Water . He
discovered how thoughts, words, and feelings can have an impact on
water and, in turn, the earth and our health. Using high-speed
photography, he revealed how crystals formed in frozen water, how they
changed based on the thoughts directed to them, and the difference
between pure spring water and polluted water. The water from clear
springs exposed to loving words showed beautiful snowflake-like crystals,
and the polluted water, or water exposed to negative thoughts and words,
formed incomplete patterns with dull colors.
If you are drinking water or any other beverage throughout the day, try
using bottles or containers with positive affirmations or symbols on them.
You can even purchase glass bottles with built-in gemstone crystals to
boost the vibration of what you are drinking. Even saying a quick prayer
over a beverage can infuse it with love.
If you are unsure of the vibration of a certain food or drink and the
effect it will have on your body, you can muscle test it. Muscle testing,
known as applied kinesiology, is a way of using the body to access the
subconscious mind. David R. Hawkins covers this topic in depth in his
best-selling book Power vs. Force: The Hidden Determinants of Human
Behavior . You can either have a partner test you or do it yourself using
the following methods.
Exercise
Muscle Testing with a Partner
If you choose to have a partner muscle test you, start out by
holding the food or drink item in your left hand, against your torso
or solar plexus chakra, which is between the rib cage and the belly
button. Then extend your right arm out parallel to the floor. As you
tighten the muscles in the raised arm to resist, have someone
press down on it and try to lower it to your side. If your arm grows
weaker and your partner can lower it, it’s a lower vibrational food
or drink and not a good choice for your body. If your arm stays
strong and you can resist, it’s a high vibrational choice.
Exercise
Self Muscle Testing
The easiest way to muscle test yourself is known as the standing
method. The first thing you need to do is determine your yes and
no. To do this, stand with your feet slightly apart and balance
yourself evenly on the ball and heel of each foot. Your arms can be
at your sides, and if you feel comfortable, close your eyes.
Say out loud, “Show me my yes,” and see which way your body
sways. Often it will sway forward for a yes, but see what your body
tells you. You can also say a true statement, such as “My name is
______” and state your name. Once you have a yes, rebalance
yourself and say out loud, “Show me my no.” Pay attention again
to which way your body sways. For many people, the body leaning
backward or away is a no. You can also say “My name is ______”
and state a name other than your own to find your no.
Once you’ve established your yes and no, you can start testing
food and drink items, or any other item you would like to test,
including body products, makeup, and vitamins. Using both hands,
hold the item you are testing to your torso or solar plexus chakra,
which is between the ribcage and your belly button. Stand with
your feet slightly apart and balanced, and then close your eyes.
You don’t even need to ask anything, just see which way your
body sways. If you get a yes, it’s a beneficial item. If you get a no,
it’s not beneficial to you. You could also state “This product is
beneficial for my body” and see what the answer is that way.
Meditation and Mindfulness
In addition to taking your 60-second retreats as a form of mindfulness
and meditation, there are other forms of meditation that can help you
reach and maintain a higher vibration. Listening to guided meditations
can be an instant boost, and you can also use mantras (a word or sound
repeated, such as Om or Love ) or extend your 60-second retreats to 3 or
10 minutes at a time. You can also bring mindfulness to a routine task to
bring you back to the present moment and out of your thoughts. Have
you ever tried mindfully brushing your teeth or mindfully washing the
dishes? All you need to do is focus solely on what is happening in the
moment. If you are brushing your teeth, tune into how the toothpaste
looks on the brush and how the brush feels against your teeth and gums.
Notice the flavor of the toothpaste and how it makes your mouth feel. If
you are washing the dishes by hand, tune into how the water flows out of
the faucet and dances over each dish or utensil, how the soap feels on
your hands, and breathe in the fragrance of the dishwashing liquid. Just a
couple minutes of mindfulness on different tasks will help you manage
your vibration.
One of my favorite forms of meditation is the Kirtan Kriya, a kundalini
yoga meditation that uses chanting and mudras, or finger poses. I
mentioned this earlier in the book when I shared how the universe
bombarded me with signs about it until I finally started paying attention.
Once I looked into the benefits and tried it myself, I was hooked. What I
love about this is if you are someone who struggles to sit still and
meditate on your own, the Kirtan Kriya is a more active meditation.
Traditionally it’s practiced for 12 minutes, and it has been studied and
now promoted by the Alzheimer’s Research and Prevention Foundation
because of its positive effects on the brain, including cognition and
memory. Practicing the Kirtan Kriya can help balance your mind, reduce
stress, improve brain chemistry, improve sleep, and, of course, raise your
vibration. It can be done daily or anytime you need to recenter yourself
and charge up your vibes.
Exercise
Kirtan Kriya Meditation
While the Kirtan Kriya is traditionally practiced for 12 minutes, it is
broken up into segments of time where you are chanting out loud,
then in a soft voice, and then silently. The last two segments
reverse the process, where you will chant in a soft voice and then
finally in a full loud voice to end it. Because of this, I recommend
downloading the free Kirtan Kriya Timer app where a bell chimes
every time you need to switch so you don’t get caught up in
tracking the time yourself. These are the components that make up
this practice:
The four Sanskrit chanting sounds are Sa Ta Na Ma. This
translates to birth, life, death, and rebirth, and it comes from the
mantra Sat Nam used in kundalini yoga and meaning “my true
essence.” This chant is done in a sing-song voice, such as “Saaaa,
Taaaa, Naaaa, Maaaa.”
For each syllable you chant, there is a mudra, or finger position,
you will use for both hands:
As you chant Sa, you touch the index finger to your thumb
on each hand.
As you chant Ta, you touch the middle finger to your thumb
on each hand.
As you chant Na, you touch your ring finger to your thumb
on each hand.
As you chant Ma, you touch your little or pinky finger to
your thumb on each hand.
As you are chanting, your eyes are closed and looking upward
behind your eyelids toward the center of your forehead, where the
third eye chakra resides. Visualize a white light moving into the
crown of your head and making an L shape, exiting out your third
eye chakra.
While you are chanting, doing the mudras, and visualizing the
white light with eyes closed and your gaze to your third eye, the 12
minutes are broken up like this:
For 2 minutes, you chant out loud in a full voice.
For 2 minutes, you chant out loud in a soft, whispering
voice.
For 4 minutes, you chant silently to yourself.
For 2 minutes, you chant out loud in a soft, whispering
voice.
For 2 minutes, you chant out loud in a full voice.
To come out of the meditation, inhale deeply and stretch your
arms and hands up to the sky above your head, and then gently
sweep them down to your side as you exhale. For a video walking
you through the meditation, go to the link in the resources section
on page 6 .
Using Visualization
Another tool in your vibration maintenance toolbox is visualization. Did
you know several scientific studies have shown the brain doesn’t know
the difference between a real memory and something imagined? This
means if you imagine something vividly in your mind and add emotion, it
changes your brain chemistry, and both the mind and body believe it’s
real. Visualization has even been used to help people develop new skills
faster, and it has been shown to be just as effective as actually practicing
the skill.
In his book How Your Mind Can Heal Your Body , David Hamilton talks
about the use of visualization to heal the body and cites a study done
with participants practicing piano. Half of the group practiced a five-finger
sequence on an imaginary piano for two hours a day, while the other half
practiced the same thing on an actual piano. The results show the people
who visualized it had the same neurological changes and reduction in
mistakes made as those who physically practiced it on the piano.
I created the following visualization exercise to help you sync up and
connect with the universe and raise your vibration instantly. It can be
done for as long or as short as you like, whether it’s 60 seconds, 3
minutes, or more.
Exercise
The Reconnection Visualization
This quick meditation and visualization can be used anytime you
want to strengthen and plug back into your inherent connection to
the universe and boost your vibration. Once you learn it, the
process can be done as slowly or quickly as you desire. It uses
yoga mudras, or hand positions, where the index and middle finger
press against the thumb on each hand. This is because the thumb
represents universal consciousness, the index finger represents
individual consciousness, and the middle finger represents
connection.
To begin, press your thumb against the index and middle finger
on each hand. Close your eyes. Let all the air out of your stomach
through your mouth by contracting it in, and then breath in deep
through the nose, expanding your belly and breathing for a count
of four. Hold it for a moment, and then let it out of your mouth
slowly for the count of four, ending with your belly contracting back
in as you expel the last bit of air from your mouth. Do this three
times.
Imagine a swirling, sparkling white light descending down toward
the crown of your head from above you. Watch as it spirals above
your head, making its way from Source and your angels and
guides, and moving slowly down toward the crown of your head.
Now visualize a sparkling golden light coming out of the crown of
your head and swirling up, up, and up, moving toward the white
light of Source. The light from within you is moving outward to
connect with the pure Source energy of love. Watch as these two
streams of sparkling light spiral toward each other until they meet
in the middle. Feel the jolt of energy as the streams connect and
your heart opens to the feelings of love and protection it offers.
See them swirling together now as the warmth of the light begins
to fill your body and mind. The two streams are now one, and you
are realigned with the universe. Watch as the stream of light pours
back into the crown of your head and is absorbed fully into your
body until your entire body is glowing within from this energy. The
light continues out to extend a few inches beyond your body. Feel
the warmth of Source energy: pure unconditional love.
Now, repeat either out loud or silently to yourself:
I am connected. I am love. I am one with my Source.
I am connected. I am love. I am one with my Source.
I am connected. I am love. I am one with my Source.
And when you are ready, open your eyes.
Elevating Your Environment
Whether it’s your home, workspace, or car, the environments you
spend the most time in all have an effect on your vibration. Just as you
can influence and boost your own vibes, you can do the same for your
environment. Clearing out clutter (which is a magnet for negative energy
and lower vibes) and using crystals and smudging can all do wonders for
the vibes around you.
Let’s look at clutter first. It’s literally an energy vampire. It sucks out all
the positivity from any area it accumulates, leaving only negative vibes
behind. Imagine walking into a kitchen filled with dirty dishes in the sink,
clean dishes piled on a drying rack, mail stacks on the counter, and
empty boxes from shipments in a pile on the floor. Now imagine walking
into a clean kitchen with clear countertops, an empty sink, and nothing
piled anywhere. Picture yourself walking into your bedroom with an
unmade bed, piles of dirty laundry on the floor, food wrappers on the
nightstand, and clutter on top of the dresser. Now see yourself walking in
on a freshly vacuumed carpet, laundry tucked away in the hamper, a
made bed, and a clear nightstand and dresser top.
Could you feel the difference in your mind and body when you
imagined walking into a cluttered room versus a clean room? Clutter
equals chaos and negative energy. If you have a ton of clutter, just take it
one room at a time and start to organize and clear it out. I know when I
take the time to clear up clutter that accumulates in different parts of the
house, the energy feels completely different when I’m done, and it just
makes me happier. The same goes for your car and your office space,
even if it’s just a desk or a cubicle. Get rid of the empty coffee cups,
papers, and other items that have found their way into your car. I know at
one point I had three yoga mats in my backseat. Nobody needs to be
toting around three yoga mats unless they own a yoga studio! I also
make a point of clearing off the papers and other items that have found
their way onto my desk at least once a week, whether it’s mail,
paperwork, or accumulating water bottles.
Exercise
Clearing the Air
This exercise will help you clear the energy from any environment,
and also any crystals or items in the environment. To perform this
exercise, you can smudge by burning sage or frankincense
incense, a bundle of sage, or a palo santo wood stick. You can
also use a spray or diffuse oils into the area for a couple of hours.
If you choose to do the smudging by burning or spraying, I
recommend repeating the following as you walk throughout the
room—being sure to include all items in the room, each section
and corner:
I clear all negative energy from this space. I clear all negative
thought forms, negative emotions, energy left from stressful
situations, and anything that does not serve my highest good
and the highest good of all who live here. I clear this energy now
and replace it with pure love, light, and positivity.
If you choose to diffuse oils into different rooms, you can simply
stand in the center of the room and repeat this statement once as
you turn on the diffuser.
Once the clutter is clear, you can enhance the vibration and energy of
your environment by using gemstones and crystals. I recommend using
round spheres or geode clusters as they tend to disperse and radiate the
energy in all directions. You could put a rose quartz heart on your
nightstand to infuse the bedroom with love. I actually have one next to a
picture of my husband and I in the relationship corner of the bedroom
according to the feng shui bagua, which is the right corner when entering
through the door of the room. I have the same setup in the top right-hand
corner of the desk in my office.
Other gemstones helpful in boosting the vibration of your home
environment and connecting with your angels and guides include:
Amethyst: This high vibrational quartz stone is often referred to as a
universal stone because it works on so many levels. It helps to
elevate your consciousness and connect you with your intuition.
Clear Quartz: This gemstone will not only raise the energy of any other
crystal it comes in contact with, but it will also raise your energy. It
works on all levels of both the physical and energetic body as well as
all chakras, making it a healing stone.
Celestite: Vibrating at a high frequency, this beautiful light blue stone
can help cleanse any environment it’s placed in and will fill it with
positive energy. It can help you feel safe and protected and also
connect you with the angelic realm.
Angelite: Another blue stone that can assist with connecting to the
angelic realm and your spirit guides, it radiates peace and tranquility
into any environment.
Blue Lace Agate: This stone looks exactly as its name describes, light
blue with white lace running through it. It brings the energy of
calmness and peace of mind to any environment and can also help
heal negative emotions.
When using crystals in your environment or carrying them with you, it’s
essential to clear them periodically from any energy they may take on. To
do this, you can place them outside during a rainstorm or new moon to
cleanse and recharge, or use smudging. This can be done by burning
sage or frankincense incense, a bundle of sage, or a palo santo wood
stick and running the crystal through the smoke. And speaking of
clearing, the same needs to be done for your environment as well.
This is especially important after company comes over or anyone has
an argument in a certain room. People and situations leave energy
behind, and you don’t want it dragging down your vibes. The same thing
goes for your car or your workspace. If you don’t want to burn anything or
can’t because you’re at work, try diffusing the essential oils of sage,
frankincense, or palo santo. There are also several smudging sprays
available for purchase.
Managing your vibration and keeping it high is essential to becoming
aware of the messages being sent to you from the universe and your
loved ones. This chapter offered you a variety of options and tools to take
with you throughout the day so you can boost your vibration, as well as
techniques to enhance the vibration of your environment. Try them out,
choose the ones that resonate and work for you, and you will not only
notice more signs and synchronicities, but you will also feel more joy in
your daily life. The next and final chapter of this book will help you detect
and remove any blocks or beliefs that could be stopping signs from
flowing to you.
[contents]
You always get what you unconsciously believe and expect.
JOE VITALE
Chapter 10
Clearing the Blocks
Whenever you find yourself stuck, either in a repeating pattern or where
you are unable to grow and move forward in some area of your life, it’s
highly likely one or more limiting beliefs are tripping you up. Do you keep
attracting the same type of man or woman, just in different bodies? Do
you sabotage yourself with fear and doubt every time you get close to
having something you desire? And do you struggle to receive signs from
the universe or a loved one who has passed?
Maybe you have already tried some of the exercises in this book and
still have not received a sign. I’ve assured you throughout the book that
the signs are coming to you all the time, so why are you not getting
them? Well, this chapter will help you break through and either start
receiving signs for the first time or clear some energy so you can receive
even more than you are getting now!
What Is Blocking You?
You’ve likely heard about the law of attraction. Thanks to the book and
movie The Secret, it’s not a secret anymore! The law states that “like
attracts like,” so what you think about, the emotions you send out to the
universe, the beliefs you hold (and may not even be aware of), and the
frequency of your vibration all determine what shows up in your life. We
tackled thoughts, emotions, and vibration in the last chapter, but if you
have one or more limiting beliefs about receiving signs, or in any area of
your life where you are trying to create a change, just like a fly in a
spider’s web, you will likely get stuck.
Beliefs are formed by thinking a thought over and over combined with a
strong emotion. They can also be formed by hearing one or more people
telling you something again and again. As a child, I came to believe that I
was not good at math. I always struggled with the subject and remember
feeling extremely frustrated when trying to learn it, especially algebra.
(I’m still waiting to use it in some way outside of the classroom…just
saying.) But seriously, I would even get wrong answers on tests that
allowed me to use a calculator. Because of my experience of struggling
and the strong emotion of frustration that came along with it, I adopted
the belief that I simply wasn’t good at math and that it was difficult for me.
On top of this, I had more than one person tell me, “People are either
good at math or good at English. Nobody is good at both.” I knew I
excelled when it came to reading and writing, so this reinforced my belief
that math just wasn’t my subject. It became a limiting belief, meaning it
held me back, and even today I find myself telling people math isn’t my
subject.
While the term “limiting belief” sounds negative, the truth is all beliefs
are limiting. But we only have to worry about and actively seek to change
the negative ones. For example, a positive belief such as “writing comes
easily to me and I’m great at it” is not one I need to worry about because
it’s helping me move forward and not stopping me in any way. On the
other hand, if I had a belief that my loved ones don’t send me signs or
that it’s hard for me to recognize them, accept them, or believe them, that
is definitely blocking me and is one I want to change. If that is you, it’s
stopping you from seeing the signs coming your way. Why? Because of a
system in the brain known as the reticular activating system, or RAS.
This system acts as a filter between your conscious and subconscious
mind, and its only job is to look for things outside of you (circumstances,
people, and any type of tangible proof) that match the beliefs you hold in
your subconscious mind—many of which you are likely not aware of yet.
It reminds me of the memory game, where kids match the pictures to find
pairs while all the cards are laying facedown and mixed up. The whole
goal of the game is to get the most matches. Your RAS is matching for
you all the time and will only let into your conscious mind the evidence
that matches your beliefs in the subconscious mind. Anything that might
be the opposite of what you believe just won’t make it through.
Using my math example, here is how it plays out. I struggled with math
and took on the belief that I just wasn’t good at it. As a result, my RAS
went out and found me all the scenarios and proof to reinforce this belief,
such as me hearing more than one person tell me people are only good
at math or English, but not both. This reinforced the belief even more,
and the more it got reinforced, the more “proof” the RAS sent to me.
Information contrary to this belief, and tips that might have made math
easier for me, were not even let into my conscious awareness—although
I’m sure they were there—because the RAS blocked them since they
were not a match for my “I’m not good at math” belief.
What does this mean for signs? If you think you need to be psychic to
get signs from the universe or if you doubt your ability to recognize them
when they arrive, then your RAS will block them from entering your
conscious awareness. Let me be clear: I’m not hating on the RAS. It’s
actually your friend because when it matches positive beliefs, it leads you
toward wonderful new opportunities and creations. For example, I was
always confident in my ability to write and my work as a magazine editor,
and I never struggled to find a job. Even when I was working as a
freelance writer, jobs always found their way to me. The key is learning
how to get your RAS to work for you, and it starts with finding your blocks
and limiting beliefs and then changing them. Yes, you can change your
beliefs, and you can turn your RAS into your BFF.
Uncover Limiting Beliefs
This book is all about uncovering signs and synchronicities from the
universe, so that is where we are going to focus to find out exactly what
is limiting you and your ability to do it. However, just know that you can
use the following processes in any area of your life where you feel stuck
or blocked from moving forward or creating what you want.
Here are fifteen common beliefs that hold people back when it comes
to receiving signs and synchronicities. Read through them and see if any
of them ring true for you, and then I’ll share how you can test them using
the muscle testing method I shared in the last chapter.
I don’t know how to tune into signs from the universe.
I can’t tune into signs from the universe.
I can’t tune into signs from my loved ones on the other side.
It’s hard to recognize the signs sent to me.
I have to be psychic to communicate with the universe.
I have to be psychic to communicate with my loved ones.
Only certain people have the gift to communicate with loved
ones who have passed.
My loved ones on the other side don’t send me signs.
It’s not possible for me to notice the signs sent to me.
My life is too chaotic to recognize signs from the universe or
loved ones.
I don’t deserve signs from the universe.
I don’t deserve signs from my loved ones who have passed.
I don’t trust myself to recognize signs from the universe.
I’m afraid to get signs from the universe.
I’m afraid to get signs from my loved ones on the other side.
Remember, most of the beliefs we hold—especially the ones blocking
and limiting us—exist in the subconscious mind, so we don’t even realize
they are there and affecting our lives. This is one of the most frustrating
parts about beliefs and trying to move forward in life, but we have the
ability to tap into the subconscious mind to see what is going on there,
bring the beliefs to the conscious mind, and then make changes. The
easiest and fastest way to do that is through muscle testing, which I
explained in the last chapter. Because the mind and body are connected,
muscle testing is a way to use your body to get answers from your
subconscious mind. Rather than guessing which beliefs might be
blocking you, with muscle testing you can zoom in on the exact ones you
need to change so you can start seeing results quickly—and, in this case,
start seeing signs!
Exercise
Muscle Testing Beliefs with a Partner
If you choose to have a partner muscle test you, start out by
holding your right arm out parallel with the floor. State the belief
you want to test out loud, such as “I have to be psychic to
communicate with my loved ones.” Then, as you tighten the
muscles in the raised arm to resist your partner, have them press
down on your arm and try to lower it to your side.
If your arm grows weaker and your partner can lower it, even
just a little bit, then that is not a belief you hold, and you can move
on to test another one. If your arm stays strong, then that means
your body is saying yes and that is a belief you have right now. If
it’s not a belief you want, then make a note of that as something
you want to clear and change. We will get into how to do that next.
Exercise
Self Muscle Testing Beliefs
You can use the Standing Method I shared in Chapter 9 to test
your own beliefs and zero in on the exact ones limiting you now. If
you have not done so already, you need to determine your yes and
no before testing each belief. In this case, yes means your body
resonates with the belief you state and it’s one that you hold in
your subconscious mind, and if your body says no, it’s not a belief
you have at this time.
To do this, stand with your feet slightly apart and balance
yourself evenly on the ball and heel of your feet. Your arms can be
at your sides. Say out loud, “Show me my yes,” and see which way
your body sways. Often it will sway forward for a yes, but see what
your body tells you. You can also say a true statement, such as
“My name is ______” and state your name. Once you have a yes,
rebalance yourself and say out loud, “Show me my no.” Pay
attention again to which way your body sways. For many people,
the body leaning backward or away is a no. You can also say “My
name is ______” and state a name other than your own to find
your no.
Once you’ve established your yes and no, you can start testing
the beliefs. Center your body back where your weight is evenly
dispersed on your heels and toes, close your eyes, and state the
belief out loud, such as “I have to be psychic to communicate with
my loved ones.” If you get a yes from your body, it’s a belief you
hold. If you get a no, then it’s not one of your beliefs and you can
move on to test the next one.
Rant, Recognize, Remove
Another way to uncover limiting beliefs in any area of your life is what I
call “Rant, Recognize, and Remove.” Our limiting beliefs show
themselves from time to time and are often brought to the surface when
we are ranting and complaining either to ourselves or other people. If you
are stuck or frustrated with money, relationships, or, in this case,
receiving signs, sitting down with a pen and paper and allowing yourself
to rant and complain about it can help you uncover them. For example, if
you find yourself struggling to receive or understand signs, you might sit
down and write:
I’m so frustrated with myself and the universe. I’m reading the book
and following the directions, but I just don’t get it. Maybe I’m not
aware enough yet to notice the signs coming to me. I’ve never
been able to get them before, so why would I think I could get them
now? I assigned a sign like Tammy said and told my father to use
a butterfly, but I waited for days and didn’t see any. I did go to a
party and the bathroom had butterfly wallpaper, but I don’t think
that counted because I wanted to see an actual butterfly flying
around me. But maybe I should have counted that. I don’t know.
This is all so confusing. I just miss my father and want to hear from
him, but maybe I won’t ever be able to do it. I haven’t received any
signs from the universe either. I should try the journal method
Tammy talked about in the book, but it seems like so much work
and I don’t have any extra time in my day. I’m too busy. I’m
probably missing signs. I suck at this.
After you rant, go through what you wrote and do the second part of
the process, which is recognize the possible limiting beliefs. Based on the
above rant, here are the beliefs I would pull out of it and test (and feel
free to test these on yourself as well):
I don’t trust the universe.
I don’t believe I’m capable of noticing signs from the universe
or my loved ones.
I’m not aware enough to receive the signs being sent to me.
I’ve never been able to receive or recognize signs before, so I
won’t be able to now.
A sign has to come in the exact form I ask for in order for it to
be real.
Journaling nightly about signs is too much work.
I don’t have enough time in my day to do the things I want.
Journaling nightly about signs won’t help me.
After you rant and recognize, and be sure to test all the beliefs that
come out of it to see which are actually limiting you, the last piece of this
is to remove the beliefs and change them. There are several clearing
methods available for releasing and changing limiting beliefs. I’m going to
share two with you here, and you can even use muscle testing to find
which clearing method is the best one for you to use on each belief you
uncover. The first one is Emotional Freedom Technique, or EFT, also
known as tapping, and the second one is Ho’oponopono, an ancient
Hawaiian practice for clearing beliefs and emotions through forgiveness.
I’ll also share a prayer to call in elevated help for clearing and opening
your intuition.
Emotional Freedom Technique
Emotional Freedom Technique, also called EFT or tapping, is a process
originated by Gary Craig, a Stanford engineering graduate and author of
the book The EFT Manual , who first introduced it to the public in 1995.
It’s based on the Chinese meridian system in the human body, which is
used in acupuncture. With EFT, you stimulate these meridians by tapping
on different parts of the body using your fingertips. It can be used for
many things, including decreasing pain in the body, alleviating anxiety
and depression, clearing unprocessed emotions stuck in our bodies that
are causing pain or illness, and clearing limiting beliefs holding us back in
some area. It’s simply a way to move and remove energy from the mind
and body.
With limiting beliefs, you want to tap through the different points on the
body while making statements out loud about the belief you are working
on. Going back to earlier when I talked about ranting, this is the approach
you would take here as well. You start with a belief, such as “uncovering
signs is hard for me,” and then you start tapping on the different points on
the body while talking about how you feel, the reasons why it might be
hard, and all your negative thoughts and feelings the belief brings up.
After a couple of rounds focused on the negative and moving through all
the tapping points, you can switch to more positive statements, such as,
“Maybe I can learn to open my awareness more. Just reading this book is
helping me do that. Maybe uncovering signs doesn’t have to be hard. I
can let go and trust the signs are coming,” and so on.
To make this process easier for you, I’ve included a tapping script,
sharing which point of the body to tap on and statements to use for each
point. If you have never tried this before or are unsure how it works, you
can follow the directions in the following exercise. I first heard about EFT
when I interviewed Gary Craig for an article in the magazine and then
learned how to use EFT in person when I took a live workshop in New
York City, where author and EFT expert Nick Ortner walked the audience
through the process. It’s very simple to learn, and once you know the
tapping points and how the process works, you can use it on so many
different things. I use EFT to clear beliefs and emotions impacting all
areas of my life, and I continue to see results from it all the time.
EFT Tapping Points
Exercise
Tapping Doubt Away
This script takes you through tapping on negative statements, then
positive statements, and then a round of switching between
negative and positive statements. I include many of the common
beliefs and fears blocking people from receiving signs from the
universe and loved ones, but you can insert any specific beliefs
you uncover into the script as well.
You will start at the karate chop point (as shown in the figure on
page 176 ) using what is called a set-up statement, and repeat it
three times before you start tapping through the points. Every EFT
session you do should start this way. After the karate chop point,
you can either tap with one hand on one side of the body or with
both hands on both sides of the body simultaneously. The setup
statement is this: “Even though I have this belief, (state the belief),
I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway.” I use
some variations of this statement below as well, and you can, too.
After saying a setup statement three times, you will tap through the
various points and say each sentence, starting at the top of the
head and moving through each point.
Negative Statement Round
Karate Chop Point: Even though I haven’t really noticed all the signs and
synchronicities happening around me in the past, I deeply and
completely love and accept myself anyway.
Even though I’m not sure I can tune into the universe to notice
these signs and synchronicities around me and am worried I’m
missing them or won’t be able to recognize them, I am willing to
release the fear, worry, and doubt around this now.
Even though I worry I won’t be able to recognize or understand
the signs and synchronicities the universe is always sending me
and that my loved ones who have passed on are sending me, I am
ready to let these worries and fears go now.
Top of the head: I’m not sure I can do this.
Eyebrow: I don’t think I’m psychic, so I don’t think it will work for me.
Side of the eye: I never seem to get any signs.
Under the eye: I don’t think my loved ones communicate with me from
the other side.
Under Nose: I’m afraid I won’t be able to recognize or understand the
signs and synchronicities sent to me.
Chin: It’s too hard for me.
Collarbone: I feel like I’m always missing signs and synchronicities.
Under the arm: I’m afraid I won’t ever be able to do this.
Top of the head: I know Tammy says everyone can do it and it gets
easier over time, but I’m not sure I can.
Eyebrow: My life is too chaotic and busy to notice signs.
Side of the eye: What if I can’t do it?
Under the eye: What if I don’t recognize it or question if something is a
sign?
Under the nose: I’m afraid this is going to be hard.
Chin: I don’t really get signs.
Collarbone: I don’t think this is going to work for me.
Under the arm: I’m afraid I’m going to mess this whole thing up.
Top of the head: I think other people might be able to do this, but I’m
not sure I can.
Eyebrow: What if other people think I’m crazy if I tell them about a
sign?
Side of the eye: What if I think something is a sign and it’s not?
Under the eye: I don’t know if I can trust the universe or the answers I
get from it.
Under nose: I worry my loved ones are not sending me signs.
Chin: I’m worried they are sending me signs and I am missing them.
Collarbone: What if that means they will stop sending them?
Under the arm: This all seems so complicated to me.
Top of the head: I don’t think I’m aware enough for this.
Eyebrow: Maybe I’m too negative and my vibration is too low.
Side of the eye: What if I try this and I still don’t get a sign?
Under the eye: I’m so upset I’m not hearing from my loved ones on
the other side.
Under nose: I want more direction from the universe, but it’s not
coming.
Chin: I’m worried this isn’t going to work for me.
Collarbone: I don’t think I’m open enough for signs to come in.
Under the arm: What if I am blocking them and don’t know how to
stop?
Take a deep breath in through your nose, hold it, and then let it slowly
out of your mouth. Notice how you feel or if any thoughts or other beliefs
have surfaced as a result of the tapping—because you can tap on them
too! Then continue with the positive statements round below.
Positive Statements Round
Top of head: Maybe this isn’t as hard as I think it is.
Eyebrow: If I relax and trust the universe and my loved ones, I can be
more open.
Side of eye: I bet I’ve been receiving signs in the past and just not
acknowledging them.
Under the eye: Just from reading this book, my conscious awareness
is opening and expanding.
Under the nose: I already know so much more than I did before.
Chin: I believe the universe and my loved ones are always
communicating with me.
Collarbone: All I need to do is to tune in and accept these gifts when
they come.
Under the arm: I am open to the signs and synchronicities sent my
way, and it’s safe to relax and enjoy this process.
Top of head: There is no right or wrong here.
Eyebrow: I give my subconscious mind permission to let these
messages into the awareness of my conscious mind.
Side of eye: I give my conscious mind permission to accept signs and
synchronicities when they arrive in my awareness.
Under the eye: I don’t have to be a trained psychic or medium to
communicate with Spirit and my loved ones on the other side.
Under the nose: I just need to expand my awareness, which I am
doing right now.
Chin: I have all that I need to uncover signs and synchronicities from
the universe already within me.
Collarbone: I look forward to these gifts from Spirit and my loved ones
and know they are on their way.
Under the arm: I know I can ask for a sign anytime I need or want
one.
Top of head: I’ll get more signs now that I’m open to them.
Eyebrow: As I accept the signs that come, I’ll get more too.
Side of eye: I’m excited for my communication with the universe.
Under the eye: I’m excited about the guidance and direction this
communication provides.
Under the nose: I can feel my energy shifting around this already.
Chin: I’m grateful for the communications I now receive and will
receive from the universe and my loved ones.
Collarbone: I’m open and ready to recognize signs and
synchronicities.
Under the arm: I am open to the signs and synchronicities sent my
way, and it’s safe to relax and enjoy this process.
Take a deep breath in. Let it out, and now continue with the last couple
rounds below.
Negative/Positive Statements
Top of the head: Recognizing signs and synchronicity is hard.
Eyebrow: I’m ready for the challenge and know it will get easier over
time.
Side of the eye: I’m not 100 percent sure I’ll be able to do this or that I
will be able to keep this up.
Under the eye: I’m going to relax and enjoy the process.
Under the nose: I’m afraid I’ll question whether it’s really a sign, and I
won’t know for sure.
Chin: I know the more I practice this, the more I will feel secure.
Collarbone: I still have some fear around knowing what is a sign or
not.
Under the arm: I’m going to say yes to what comes to me from now
on.
Top of the head: What if my awareness isn’t open enough?
Eyebrow: I am more aware today from reading this book than I have
ever been before.
Side of the eye: What if I’m still blocked in some way, and I don’t know
it?
Under the eye: I can manage my vibration with the tools in this book.
Under the nose: I’m afraid I still won’t get any signs from my loved
ones and it will be all my fault.
Chin: I know if I ask, the sign always comes, and if I miss it or
question it, I can ask for more.
Collarbone: I really hope I can do this.
Under the arm: I am already so much further along than I
was before.
The above script was to get you started on shifting your beliefs around
signs and synchronicity, and to serve as an example of how you can
work with any single belief using EFT. If you use EFT for a single belief
that you uncovered by muscle testing on your own, you will want to go
back and retest the belief after you finish tapping to make sure it is
cleared. You would do this by stating the belief out loud after tapping and
see if you still get a yes or if it has changed to a no. If you still get a yes,
meaning you still have that belief, you would want to do a few more
rounds of tapping to shift and clear it. If you get a no, then you have
cleared the belief and can move on to another one if you have more.
The Hawaiian Forgiveness Process
Another technique that can be used to clear negative beliefs, memories,
and emotions is Ho’oponopono, known as the Hawaiian forgiveness
process. This process became well-known in the self-improvement and
spiritual community because best-selling author Joe Vitale wrote a book
called Zero Limits: The Secret Hawaiian System for Wealth, Health,
Peace and More , with Ihaleakala Hew Len, PhD, after Vitale learned the
doctor cured a psych ward of criminally insane patients without ever
meeting them face to face. To heal them, he only viewed their charts and
used Ho’oponopono on himself. The technique is based on the belief that
everything around us and that we come into contact with is our
responsibility, as well as the belief that we are all connected to one
another. It’s very easy to practice and can be useful when looking to clear
blocks to receiving signs from the universe and your loved ones on the
other side.
Ho’oponopono, which comes from the Hawaiian words ho’o , meaning
“to make,” and pono , meaning “right,” can be used on a belief that you
want to dissolve or an emotion you would like to shift. This pertains to
signs from the universe and particularly from our loved ones because you
may have a belief that needs to be shifted, but you also may have
unfinished business between you and a loved one that needs to be
forgiven and cleared so the signs can come in. This can be a feeling of
anger, guilt, or sadness around their passing, or even unfinished
business from the relationship you had with them while they were here in
physical form with you. I like to use Ho’oponopono on any negative
emotion of fear, doubt, or worry that comes up so it can quickly dissipate
and shift, whether it’s about business, money, a relationship, or my
health.
The process is very easy, and it is the same no matter what you are
trying to clear. It is simply the repetition of four statements, which are
made to the universe itself but can also be directed to a specific person
or situation. These four phrases are:
I love you.
I’m sorry.
Please forgive me.
Thank you.
Many practitioners and teachers will tell you these four phrases are
enough, and you don’t even have to be aware of the specific belief that is
blocking you. That means if you don’t know what is stopping you from
attracting signs, you can simply set some time aside to repeat these
phrases directed toward the universe to clear whatever is keeping them
from entering your awareness. You can also dive deeper.
Exercise
Clearing with Ho’oponopono
If you and your father had a difficult relationship growing up or if
you feel guilty about your grandmother’s passing because you
were not there or feel like you could have done more in some way,
you can repeat these phrases directly to them. There are times
when I expand on the phrases and include more detail to be very
clear in the direction I’m giving the universe. For example, if you
want to do clearing around your ability to receive signs and you
have not received them in the past, you could repeat the following
(you can substitute a specific individual’s name for the word
universe):
I love you, Universe. I love you for the unconditional love you
show me and for continuing to send me signs even though I
have not noticed them all in the past. I love you for your
guidance, direction, and protection.
I’m sorry if I have not been open to receiving signs from you in
the past. I’m sorry I was not more aware to receive them. I’m
sorry if I rejected you and your signs in the past.
Please forgive me. Thank you.
This can be done anytime you think of it, when a negative
thought or emotion comes up around signs, or as a meditation for
a few minutes each day. You will know you have cleared what you
needed to when your emotions shift and you begin to see signs
flowing more easily to you. And if you are working on a specific
belief, you can retest that belief to see if it’s cleared.
Exercise
Prayer to Invoke Archangel Haniel
The final clearing piece I want to share with you involves calling in
higher help, specifically archangel Haniel. Known to help people
open up their intuition, especially clairvoyance, which is the ability
to see and perceive things beyond the normal senses, archangel
Haniel can help you be aware of the signs coming to you and
remove any blocks to them flowing into your conscious mind. This
prayer can be said every day or anytime you are struggling to
receive a sign or answer from the universe or a loved one on the
other side.
Dear archangel Haniel, I call upon your guidance and ask for
your help in perceiving the signs coming to me from the universe
and my angels, guides, and loved ones who have passed on.
Please remove any doubt, fear, stress, anxiety, worry, and any
other negative emotion that may be blocking my vision to notice
and recognize the signs coming my way. Please open my heart
and mind to the subtle ways the universe speaks to me, and
help me heighten my intuitive abilities and vision. Please help
me clear and open my third eye chakra so I may see beyond the
five senses and tap into the higher vibrations around me. I am
open to your guidance and assistance and am grateful for all of
your help. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Amen.
Accept the Joy
I know the joy that comes with receiving communication from the
universe and my loved ones on the other side, and that is the entire
reason I felt called to write this book. I want everyone to open up to this
joy and accept it when it arrives. So many of us are conditioned to look
for the negative in life, and in many cases we expect it or even outright
prepare for it! It might be because of childhood messages we received
from well-meaning parents, teachers, and society as a whole or past
traumas that triggered fear to rise up and take primary residence inside
us. No matter what the reason is, the majority of us have forgotten to
expect joy; we have forgotten to accept it and celebrate when it arrives.
Signs from your loved ones are meant to bring you joy. Synchronistic
experiences showing how the universe is guiding you are pure joy. It’s
time to start accepting and celebrating every one that comes your way.
During the mediumship reading with George Anderson ten months
after my mother’s death, my mom offered proof to my family and me that
the soul continues on after the physical body dies. But during that hour
reading, she also offered advice on living life in this physical world from
her higher perspective. One of the things she spoke about was the
importance of accepting the joys in life and even referenced her “life
review” on the other side, where higher souls asked her about accepting
joy during her life in this physical world. Anderson and other mediums
have explained a life review is something we all experience after we pass
on. It allows us to see everything in our lives, both good and bad—
including how our actions affected other people.
I’d like to end this journey with you by sharing my mother’s advice on
accepting joy in the hope that it will help you open yourself up to more joy
in every aspect of your life too, including the joy of signs and
synchronicity. Here was her message, as told through George Anderson:
[Your mother] says you are always ready to prepare for the bad
things that come in life…why not start to absorb some of the joys
that come in life? It’s funny how even in her life review in the
hereafter, the higher souls asked her, “Did you partake of the joys
that came to you in life as well as the hardships?” Frankly, she
said, you have no answer for that because we are so conditioned
to put up with X, and life stinks. She says they asked her, “Why
didn’t you partake of these joys? Why didn’t you allow yourself this
joyful happiness? Why were you so quick to put up with and accept
the hardships and the unhappiness and overlook the joys? A lot of
people on earth have more difficulty accepting joy as opposed to
difficulties. They can actually accept adversity easier than they can
accept the joy. People will turn joy away thinking it isn’t the right
thing to do or that they’re not entitled to it, and she says that’s
incorrect. Always remember when joy comes into your life, you’re
supposed to accept it. Remember to willingly and joyfully take the
joys that come to you because if they come to you, you’re entitled
to them.
From the bottom of my heart, I hope this book helps you willingly and
joyfully accept the signs and synchronicities that come to you. As my
mother said, you are entitled to them.
[contents]
It’s Not the End
This may be the end of the book, but it is really the beginning of a new
way of looking at your life. Applying what I’ve taught you here will begin
to fill your life with magic and miracles. Now when something goes wrong
or doesn’t work out the way you planned, you can remind yourself there
are no accidents in life. You will remember there is a reason for whatever
occurs, even when the meaning takes some time to uncover. As a result,
the circumstances of your life won’t get you down for very long.
I’ve also given you tools to tame the chaos in your life and to raise (and
protect) your vibration so you feel less stress, more joy, and, of course,
let the flow of signs and synchronicities into your awareness. But most
importantly, you can now begin to create a dialogue with the universe
and your loved ones on the other side. Because you now understand
communication is a two-way street, you can use the prayers in this book
to call in help when you need it—including to open you up to the
messages being sent to you. Please see the sample schedule in
Appendix 1 to help you incorporate some of the exercises and techniques
mentioned in the book, as well as Appendix 2 ’s guide to higher help,
which lists angels, ascended masters, and more.
The spiritual path I am on today began with the sudden death of my
mother, and although I would love to have her back in this physical world
with me, I know her passing was meant to teach me how the universe
works, the way it (and our loved ones on the other side) communicate
with us, and ultimately to teach this communication to others. I am
grateful for the strong connection I still have with my mother from the
other side, and I want you to have the same gratitude and connection
with your loved ones in Spirit. They are not gone. You are not alone. The
universe is talking to you, and now you have all you need to start
listening.
[contents]
Appendix 1
A Synced-Up Day
To make incorporating the teachings of this book as easy as possible for
you, in this section you will find the techniques and exercises laid out as
morning, afternoon, and evening routines. Following these will keep your
vibration high and help you stay synced up with the communication from
the universe and your angels, guides, and loved ones on the other side.
Feel free to adjust it to fit your schedule and life.
Morning Routine
Before Getting Out of Bed
Think of three things you are grateful for right now.
Surrender any worries—one at a time—to the universe so it
can resolve any issues in your highest good and the highest
good of all involved.
Say The Morning Prayer .
Optional: Earth Energy Meditation , Kirtan Kriya Meditation ,
The Reconnection Visualization .
Early Morning
Set the alarm on your cell phone so it will chime every hour
(or three times per day) so you can take The 60-Second
Retreat breaks throughout the day and incorporate gratitude
or surrendering your worries.
Listen to a positive podcast, audiobook, or video while getting
ready for the day.
Put on an aromatherapy diffuser necklace or bracelet with a
grounding fragrance in it to wear throughout the day or carry
an essential oil with you to stop and smell to recenter you
during your 60-second retreat breaks. (See list of Essential
Oils for grounding.)
Afternoon Routine
If you can get out into nature at some point during your lunch
break (and maybe even hug a tree), it can keep you
grounded or reground you if you feel you are out of sync.
You can also do a Crown Chakra Reset to get grounded
before continuing your day.
Evening Routine
Cleanse your aura (The Shield ).
Do the Legs Up the Wall Yoga Pose for 5 to 10 minutes
before bed.
Write down three things you are grateful for that happened to
you that day.
Answer the nightly questions (Replay Your Day ) and make a
note of any signs from the day and who they came from in
your signs and synchronicity nighttime journal.
[contents]
Appendix 2
A Higher Help Guide
This list of archangels, ascended masters, goddesses, and saints, along
with what they specialize in, can serve as a reference guide when higher
help is needed in your life. Not every angel, ascended master, or saint is
listed here, but I’ve included those who can help with a variety of issues
to get you started. As I explained in Chapter 2 , you do not need to
practice a certain religion or belief system to ask them for help because
in the hereafter there is no religion or separation; there is only oneness
and love.
Archangel Ariel
As the archangel who oversees nature and the natural world, Ariel can
be called upon along with Archangel Raphael to heal humans, animals,
plants, and the environment as a whole. Her name means “lion or lioness
of God,” and she is often associated with lions (watch for this sign from
her). Also, she can help with manifestation, prosperity, and abundance
because of her influence on the natural world.
Archangel Azrael
While his primary role is to help people cross over to the other side at
the time of their death, ensuring a smooth transition with no suffering—
which is why he is sometimes known as the angel of death—archangel
Azrael can also be called upon by those grieving a loss to provide healing
energy and comfort.
Archangel Chamuel
Call upon archangel Chamuel when you need to find an item you have
lost, similar to Saint Anthony . He can also help one find life purpose, a
love relationship, a new job, supportive friendships, or solutions to
problems. You can also call upon him if you are looking to repair a
relationship or resolve conflicts or misunderstandings between people, as
he has been called the angel of peaceful relationships. See Archangel
Jophiel for additional help with relationships.
Archangel Gabriel
She assists in all forms of communication and is known as a
messenger angel that can help writers, teachers, and artists convey their
messages. Archangel Gabriel can also help you overcome fear and
procrastination in communication and can be called upon for anything
related to children, including conception, pregnancy, childbirth, and
parenting. She is especially helpful with sensitive children.
Archangel Haniel
Known as the archangel of intuition, angel of joy, and the archangel of
divine communication, Haniel can help us connect with the higher energy
states of the angelic realm. Additionally, she can assist you in staying
grounded and centered no matter what is happening around you, and
she can transform heavy energy and emotions to release worry and
lower-vibrational energy. Call on her to help you connect with the
universe and access the messages being sent to you.
Archangel Jeremiel
Call upon archangel Jeremiel to help you develop clairvoyance,
understand the meaning of dreams, and uncover patterns in your life that
have led you to where you are now. While he is said to work with souls
who have crossed over for their life review, he can help us understand
what is happening in our life right now and find blessings in our past
experiences.
Archangel Jophiel
Similar toArchangel Chamuel , archangel Jophiel can be called upon to
heal misunderstandings between people. She can also help you quickly
shift from a negative mindset to a more positive one and is ideal to call
upon to tame the chaos around and inside of you. It is also her mission to
bring beauty to all aspects of life; she can even help with personal
appearance, including hair and makeup. Additionally, she has been
called the feng shui angel because she can help you reduce clutter and
organize your environment.
Archangel Metatron
Working with both sensitive children and adults who are opening to
psychic gifts, archangel Metatron can help clear our energy, beliefs, and
fears so we can release what is no longer serving us. Sometimes called
the angel of life, he oversees the Akashic Records, which hold every
thought or action from every life we have lived and can help us
understand why situations are occurring in our current life.
Archangel Michael
Known as the angel of protection and a leader in the angelic realm,
archangel Michael can be called on to protect you from taking on outside
energy, which is ideal for those who are sensitive or empathic. He can
also help assist in situations where you are afraid, confused, or
concerned for your safety. He can also be called upon to fix mechanical
or electrical problems, as well as issues with technology.
Archangel Raguel
Like Archangel Chamuel and Archangel Jophiel , archangel Raguel
can be called upon to help resolve arguments and create harmony
amongst groups and families. He is also helpful in attracting positive
friendships and harmonious relationships.
Archangel Raphael
His name means “God heals,” and he can be called upon for both
physical and emotional healing. Archangel Raphael assists healers in
their healing practices and can be called upon for help with addictions,
food cravings, injuries, and more. You can also call upon him to ensure a
safe journey while traveling. Work with Raphael in conjunction with
archangel Michael to clear fear and stress that may be affecting your
health.
Archangel Raziel
Call upon archangel Raziel for help with creativity, including creative
blocks, co-creation, manifestation, opening your intuition, and grounding
your energy when you are feeling unbalanced. He can also assist in
healing painful memories or past traumas.
Archangel Uriel
Archangel Uriel can help with intellectual information, solutions to
problems, and creative insights, whether in business and career or with
studying and testing.
Buddha
Born as Siddhartha Gautama in 563 BC, Buddha devoted his life to
ending suffering and taught that both happiness and suffering depend on
our mind. As a master, he can help you overcome suffering, find
happiness, and find balance and maintain your inner peace in the midst
of difficulties.
Ganesha
Most recognizable for his elephant head, the god Ganesha is from the
Hindu religion and is known as the remover of obstacles. He can be
called upon when you feel like you keep hitting roadblocks in some area
of your life. He can also help bring good luck and success, so call upon
him before embarking on something new so he can clear the path of
anything standing in your way.
Goddess Aphrodite
As the Greek goddess of love, beauty, fertility and sexuality, Aphrodite
can be called upon for help in any of these areas, including help with selflove.
Goddess Lakshmi
Call upon the Hindu goddess Lakshmi for prosperity, wealth, and
fortune when you need help in the areas of abundance and finances.
Goddess Parvati
Like Aphrodite , goddess Parvati—who is the mother of Ganesha—is a
Hindu goddess of love, beauty, and fertility. She can be called upon for
help conceiving a child, to protect pregnant women, or when you need to
call upon your inner mother.
Goddess Saraswati
The Hindu goddess of knowledge, music, art, and nature, Saraswati
can help ignite more creativity in your life and assist with creative
projects.
Mother Mary
As part of the Catholic religion, Mother Mary is the mother of Jesus and
is known for helping children and people who work with children. Of
course, parents can also call on her for help with their own children. She
is a master of unconditional love and compassion and can be called upon
for help in any aspect of your life where this is needed.
Saint Anthony
As the patron saint of lost items in the Catholic religion, call upon Saint
Anthony when you have misplaced something, like your keys, mobile
phone, or jewelry. The prayer to use is simple: “Dear Saint Anthony,
please come around. Something is lost and needs to be found.”
Saint Christopher
Known as the patron saint of travelers and drivers, he can be called
upon when traveling in any capacity to ask for safety and protection—
whether in a car, plane, train, etc.
Saint Francis of Assisi
Call upon Saint Francis of Assisi for any assistance needed with
animals, as he is the Catholic patron saint of animals and ecology. He
can also be called on in conjunction with Archangel Ariel , who also
works with animals and nature.
Saint Joseph
In the Catholic religion, not only is Saint Joseph the patron saint of a
happy death because he is said to have died with Jesus (his son) and
Mother Mary (his wife) close to him, but he is also the patron saint of
workers and can be called upon for any work-related issue, such as
finding the right job. Additionally, fathers can call upon him for help with
parenting.
Saint Jude
Known as the patron saint of hopeless cases or impossible situations,
call upon this Catholic saint in any situation where you feel helpless and
hopeless. There is a famous story about the actor Danny Thomas, who
called upon Saint Jude for help, promising to build a shrine to him if the
help arrived. Today, that shrine is St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital.
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