Copywriting for Beginners Part 3 - Persuasion
© Alan Sharpe
www.sharpecopy.com
Give Your Sales Pitch a Proven Structure
Have you ever noticed, when you climb into your car, and you program your GPS to take you
somewhere, that there are two things it never offers you?
Your GPS asks you if you want the fastest route or the shortest route.
It asks you if you want to use highways or avoid them.
It asks you if you want to avoid toll roads.
But your GPS never asks you if you want to take a random, roundabout route to your destination.
And it never announces the names of streets you're NOT going to drive on.
Every GPS is engineered and sold based on the premise that you and other drivers want to get to
your destination efficiently.
When potential buyers read your promotional copy, they expect to be treated the same way.
They expect you to take them on a journey from Point A to Point B using the most efficient
route.
And they expect you to value their time by telling them only what they need to know.
To succeed with today's busy, distracted buyers, you need to give your sales pitch a logical order.
Start with the problem.
Right at the start of your copy, acknowledge that your potential buyer has a problem or a
challenge or pain.
Name it in your headline if you like.
Mention it in your subhead.
Name it in your opening paragraph.
Just be sure to start with your potential buyer's problem.
Next, discuss the consequences of not solving that problem or challenge or pain.
Show your prospects what will happen if they do nothing, or if they choose the wrong solution.
Third, present your solution.
Copywriting for Beginners Part 3 - Persuasion
© Alan Sharpe
www.sharpecopy.com
Show your potential customer how your product or service solves their problem, meets their
challenge or removes their pain.
Next, show proof.
Prove to your reader that your claims are credible.
For every claim you make about how your product or solution solves your buyer's problem,
show proof.
Finally, ask for the order.
Tell the prospect what you want them to do.
If you want them to buy, ask them to buy.
If you want them to download a white paper, tell them to download the white paper.
Look at this example. It's a full-page ad for a company that manufacturers a product for florists.
First, state the problem. The problem is stated in the opening paragraph.
“Flower Transporting Gel is new.
It lets you deliver flowers across town or across the country with no dehydration (and no
complaints from your customers)”
The potential customer, in this case, is flower shops.
Their challenge is preventing flowers from drying out before they arrive at their customer’s
address.
Next, discuss the consequences of not solving that problem or challenge or pain.
This is also stated in the opening paragraph.
The consequence of delivering dehydrated flowers is complaints from customers.
Third, present your solution.
In this example, the solution is presented in the paragraphs following the introductory paragraph.
This product is specially formulated to keeps flower bouquets fresh and hydrated.
It saves florists time and money.
Copywriting for Beginners Part 3 - Persuasion
© Alan Sharpe
www.sharpecopy.com
It is easy to use.
Next, show proof.
The manufacturer now shows proof for its claims.
They cite a test conducted by a laboratory in the Netherlands that proves that all types of flowers
benefit from being packed with Flower Transporting Gel.
Finally, ask for the order.
The ad ends with an offer and a call to action.
Order your starter kit today.
Call 1-888-668-7673.
This format is a proven and tested way to structure your sales pitch.
There's more than one way to arrange your sales pitch, just as there is more than one way to get
from Point A to Point B.
But if you need a simple, efficient way to write your copy, structuring it in a logical, compelling
order, follow this simple structure.
You'll make more sales.
AND YOUR READERS WON'T GET LOST.
Copywriting for Beginners Part 3 - Persuasion
© Alan Sharpe
www.sharpecopy.com
Write with features and benefits
A consumer doesn’t buy a smartphone because it has wi-fi operating on the 2.4 gigahertz radio
band.
A consumer choses the wi-fi-enabled phone because wi-fi gives the consumer free, wireless
access to the internet.
Wi-fi is the feature.
2.4 gigahertz is the feature.
Free, wireless access to the internet is the benefit.
All of this is to say that customers buy benefits, not features.
And yet one of the most common mistake that advertisers make in their copy is concentrating on
features and forgetting about benefits.
Here’s what I mean.
Imagine you’re a landscape contractor in the market for a trailer that you can pull behind your
pickup truck.
You need a trailer strong enough to carry a BobCat or other brand of skidsteer.
So, you visit a manufacturer’s website and read about their trailer.
The webpage shows photos of the trailer from various angles, shows a BobCat being driven onto
and backed off the trailer, and in other ways demonstrates the utility of the trailer.
All good so far.
Then you read the body copy.
What does tell you about this model of trailer? Here goes . . .
“The Cattitude Trailer from BobCajune Manufacturing features a powder coat finish.
The trailer bed is made from 7-gauge steel.
The bed raises to an angle of 51 degrees.
Comes with a storage tray behind the coupler.”
Copywriting for Beginners Part 3 - Persuasion
© Alan Sharpe
www.sharpecopy.com
Now, if you know a great deal about the kinds of trailers that landscape contractors need, you
understand these features—maybe.
But because the manufacturer has not explained them, and because the manufacturer has not told
you the benefits associated with each of these features, you are no further ahead in your buying
decision.
Good copy uses features and benefits.
Good copy not only lists a product’s features, it also describes the benefits of those features.
If you and I were writing this copy, we might very well use the same photos that the
manufacturer did, except that we would draw attention to the benefits.
We would spell them out, because customers buy benefits, not features.
For example, we’d show some photos or video clips of the powder coat finish being baked on at
400 degrees Fahrenheit.
In our copy, we’d tell buyers that this finish never fades or chips.
The trailer always looks terrific.
Maintaining a strong visual brand over time is a benefit.
Then we’d show a few photos or video clips of the trailer bed being manufactured from 7-gauge
steel.
We’d tell buyers that 7-gauge steel is 3/16 inches thick, much thicker than competing trailers
(which are only 10-gauge), and that this thickness means you can drive a skidsteer with steel
tracks onto this bed without damaging it.
Longevity is a benefit.
Then we’d show the trailer filled with landscaper’s mulch.
We’d show a closeup of the operator holding the remote control, and raising the bed.
We’d tell readers that the bed raises to an angle of 51 degrees, the steepest in the industry, which
lets them dump seven cubic yards of wet mulch in under 30 seconds.
Speed is a benefit.
Finally, we’d show a worker throwing tools into the built-in storage tray behind the coupler, and
explain that it holds wheel blocks, chains and ratchet straps for easy and quick access.
Copywriting for Beginners Part 3 - Persuasion
© Alan Sharpe
www.sharpecopy.com
Convenience and speed are benefits.
There are benefits to showing benefits
You can literally see the difference between these two approaches.
One shows you only features, the other shows you the features and the benefits of those features.
Remember, customers, whether they are individuals or businesses, buy benefits.
So, if you are writing copy for a manufacturer, make sure your copy includes both features and
benefits.
THE BENEFIT TO YOU OF DOING SO IS MORE SALES FOR YOUR CLIENT AND
REPEAT BUSINESS FOR YOU.
Overcome Sales Objections
One of the disadvantages of copywriting is that you are selling on paper or in pixels, not in
person.
That means you are unable to read your prospect’s body language, unable to hear and overcome
objections.
And yet one of the advantages of copywriting is that you are selling on paper or in pixels, not in
person.
Face to face, a prospect can interrupt you, and change the subject.
But on paper or on a screen, you remain in control.
As long as your prospective customer keeps reading, you control the sales process.
Another advantage of copywriting is that you can anticipate objections and answer them in your
copy.
You can even start your copy with a common objection, and answer it square on.
Here are three common objections, and ways that you can overcome them in your copy.
Objection 1: WE DON’T WANT IT
Overcome this objection by presenting benefits that your reader may have overlooked, or may
never have considered.
Copywriting for Beginners Part 3 - Persuasion
© Alan Sharpe
www.sharpecopy.com
Assume that your prospect understands the benefits of your product or service only in a general
way.
Here’s an example from an ad aimed at mining companies in Canada’s north, who think they
have to wait days for replacement parts for their pumps.
"We reduce your downtime because we ship your replacement transformer in under three hours,
guaranteed. We lead the industry in in-stock, emergency transformer replacements."
One headache for mining companies is downtime from failed equipment.
If you are a typical supplier of pump parts, their objection to your sales pitch is that they don’t
want your service if it takes you days to deliver a replacement part.
So, you address this objection with the first few lines of your copy.
Objection 2: YOU ARE TOO EXPENSIVE
Overcome this objection by describing the quick return on investment that your prospect will
enjoy (assuming there is one).
Or show how buying a competitor’s product is actually more expensive once total cost of
ownership is calculated.
Here’s an example.
"Yes, you will save money in the short term by buying a Blodux 5236.
But our Nadag 7876 lasts longer—two years longer.
Which means you will pay $125 less per month for the life of our machine compared with its
closest competitor."
Objection 3: WE ALREADY HAVE A SUPPLIER
Overcome this objection not by bad-mouthing your competitor but by stressing benefits that your
competitor does not or cannot offer.
Or show how your competitor isn’t really a competitor because your company concentrates only
on selling the product in question, while your competitor sells a great deal more, making them a
generalist but you a specialist.
For example:
"Your current supplier certainly has a well-earned reputation in our industry for a quality
product.
Copywriting for Beginners Part 3 - Persuasion
© Alan Sharpe
www.sharpecopy.com
But my firm delivers a comparable product backed by better after-sales service.
We offer you the personal, customized service that larger firms cannot match."
If you are new to copywriting and don’t know the common objections that prospects raise, talk to
your sales force.
THEY ARE YOUR BEST SOURCE FOR UNDERSTANDING HOW TO TURN A
PROSPECT'S NO INTO A YES.
Be Specific
Lilly Tomlin, the American comic, once said: “When I was growing up, I wanted to be a
somebody. Now I realize I should have been more specific.”
In copywriting, as in life, specifics sell. Generalities don’t.
Consider, for example, a direct response ad that I have in front of me.
I tore it from the May 2006 issue of Harper’s Magazine.
This ad faces an almost impossible sales challenge:
First, the product it promotes is the ROM, a Range of Motion exercise machine that retails for
$14,615—impossibly expensive
Second, the machine promises to give you the benefits of a complete physical workout in just
four minutes—almost impossible to believe.
Third, the manufacturer is selling a high-ticket item on paper and not in person—almost
impossible to do.
But I think the folks at ROMFAB in North Hollywood, California, know what they are doing.
They are likely to sell plenty of these machines using their direct response ad because they pack
it with specifics and not generalities.
Consider . . .
Specific price: Not $14,599, but $14,615.
Specific workout: Exactly four minutes a day.
Specific thesis: “Over 92% of people who own exercise equipment and 88% of people who own
health club memberships do not exercise.”
Hence the appeal of their exercise machine that requires only four minutes a day.
Copywriting for Beginners Part 3 - Persuasion
© Alan Sharpe
www.sharpecopy.com
Specific proof: “Over 97% of people who rent the ROM for 30 days wind up buying it” (so it
must deliver on its promise of a complete workout in four minutes).
Specific credentials: Not “award-winning,” but “Winner of the 1991 Popular Science Award for
the ‘Best of What’s New’ in Leisure Products.”
To be credible you must be specific.
More credentials: “Manufactured in California since 1990.”
Cost: Under 20 cents per use (the copy explains how they calculated that number).
Specific offer: Free DVD or video that demonstrates the product.
Specific call to action: Not “Visit our website for more information,” but, “Order a free DVD
or video from www.FastExercise.com or call 818 787-6460.”
These specifics help ROMFAB sell an impossibly expensive exercise machine using direct
response copy in a simple display ad.
Notice that the offer is not to buy the machine, but to order the free video, then rent the machine.
That’s the easier sell.
When your product is costly and your sales proposition hard to believe, overcome objections
with specifics, use an offer that moves the buyer off the inertia seat, AND USE A CALL TO
ACTION THAT REQUIRES LITTLE COMMITMENT.
Copywriting for Beginners Part 3 - Persuasion
© Alan Sharpe
www.sharpecopy.com
Differentiate
For two winters, I heated my house with an old fashioned woodstove.
I learned the art of reviving a bed of dying coals each chilly winter morning, adjusting the
kindling, firewood and dampers just right so that the stove would heat my turn-of-the- century
farmhouse for the longest period possible.
I had the choice of four vendors to buy my hardwood from.
All were local, all sold at the same price, and all had the same quality of hardwood.
But only one supplier, a character called Joe Meiser, advertised same-day delivery at no extra
charge.
Joe got my business.
Joe got my business because he differentiated himself from his competitors in a way that
appealed to me.
You need to do the same to remain competitive.
You need to decide what makes you different from your competitors, and you need to promote
that uniqueness in your sales letters.
Just make sure your differentiator is compelling and actually differentiates you.
"Quality Service" is not a differentiator. It's a given.
So is on-time delivery and the ability to meet budgets.
Instead, differentiate your firm based on your competence in your industry or market category.
Or be first at something.
Or invent something.
Just make sure that your differentiator is relevant and attractive to your prospects.
Joe Meiser also had a great guarantee.
If you know anything about heating your home with a woodstove, you know that Joe sold and
delivered his wood by the bush cord.
One bush cord measures 4ft wide by 4ft high by 8ft long.
Copywriting for Beginners Part 3 - Persuasion
© Alan Sharpe
www.sharpecopy.com
He dumped it in a big pile on my front lawn, and I then had to stack it in neat rows around my
property, by hand.
Here was Joe's guarantee, always delivered with a straight face but a twinkle in his blue eyes:
"I dump your eight bush cords in your yard with my truck," he'd say.
"You try da wood.
IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, YOU BRING IT BACK AND I GIVE YOU NEW STUFF."
Think Visually
A picture is never worth a thousand words.
A picture that demonstrates a product in use rarely communicate everything the manufacturer
wants to communicate.
Words are needed, either in the form of a photo caption or body copy, to describe or explain
what the viewer is seeing.
Let me give you an example
Can you tell from this product demonstration photo that this riding lawn mower deck shell
features dual steel sheet construction (1/4” thick combined) for increased strength and spindle
support?
You can't. And neither can potential buyers.
Imagine that you manufacture riding lawn mowers for commercial applications.
You figure that having a photo showing your product in action is a good idea, which it is.
So, you head out one sunny afternoon and shoot lots of photos of a lawn care contractor mowing
a yard.
You show the mower going up and down the yard.
You show the operator doing turns.
You show the deck mowing up close to hedges.
All good.
Copywriting for Beginners Part 3 - Persuasion
© Alan Sharpe
www.sharpecopy.com
Then you post your photos online and wait for the orders to pour in.
The challenge that you face is that your viewers rarely understand what they are seeing.
They do not know the unique features of your product, or the unique benefits, simply from
looking at your photos.
These things need to be explained, either with captions, or with body copy.
Visuals are never enough.
For example, just seeing a photo of your riding lawn mower does not tell a potential buyer that
your mower has a unique hydraulic wheel-drive system that lets the mower rotate on its own axis
with a zero turning radius.
That feature and that benefit need to be stated explicitly.
Neither do your photos explain how the deck lifting system works.
Your photos may show the operator depressing the foot pedal, and then show the deck raising to
adjust the cutting height, but your viewers will not understand that this operation is also done
hands-free (unlike competing products).
That needs to be explained.
Simply showing the feature in silence is rarely enough.
You need words to add an explanation, to describe what the viewer is seeing.
The key thing to remember about product photos, and product videos, is that they illustrate rather
than state.
Photos should show something that the prospective buyer has just been told.
The feature is first stated, then it is illustrated.
The product benefit is first explained, then it is shown.
You must remember that your potential buyers have differing levels of familiarity with your
product and your product category.
In keeping with our example, above, some buyers of commercial riding lawn mowers don’t
know what a zero radius turn is and don’t appreciate why this feature is a benefit.
They are rookies.
Copywriting for Beginners Part 3 - Persuasion
© Alan Sharpe
www.sharpecopy.com
If they see that feature being demonstrated in a photo, with no captions and no explanatory body
copy, they may not appreciate what they are seeing.
Other buyers are more sophisticated, and understand the features and benefits of commercial
riding lawn mowers well.
But every product is unique.
And these potential buyers need to be told in explicit terms why your riding lawn mower is better
than competing models, and then they need to see that difference being demonstrated in a series
of photos or a video.
As you can appreciate by now, the secret to avoiding this mistake is to always explain or
describe what your readers are seeing in your photos.
Never take for granted that your prospective buyers understand what they are seeing.
A photo is never worth a thousand words.
It always needs some words to help prospective buyers understand what they are seeing.
If you want your product photos to be successful, first make your claim, then illustrate that
claim.
It’s like show and tell, except the other way around.
First tell, then show.
You’ll notice the difference in no time.
In increased inquiries.
AND SALES.
Copywriting for Beginners Part 3 - Persuasion
© Alan Sharpe
www.sharpecopy.com
Overcome doubts with testimonials
Your copy must overcome three doubts.
These three doubts are floating around in the skulls of your customers and potential customers all
the time, and surface whenever they read a sales pitch from you (and other businesses), asking
for their business.
These doubts are really questions that consumers and business buyers ask themselves as they are
reading your copy, while they are deliberating about whether they will buy from you or not.
The three questions are these:
1. Can I trust you?
2. Do you understand my need?
3. Will your product or service meet my need?
In every piece of copy you write, you need to overcome these doubts or you will not close the
sale.
And you won’t secure the long-term loyalty of your customer.
One of the best ways to overcome these three doubts is with testimonials.
A testimonial is a statement made by someone that either recommends, proves or pays tribute.
Let me show you what I mean.
A recommendation testimonial consists of a favourable report on the qualities or virtues of
someone or something.
It usually includes an explicit endorsement.
An example is a statement from a satisfied customer recommending that others buy from you.
This type of testimonial helps potential customers to trust you, particularly if the
recommendation comes from someone that the potential customer respects.
A proof testimonial is a statement that backs up a claim or supports a fact that you make in your
copy.
An example is a statement from one of your clients who used your photocopier toner cartridge
and discovered that it delivers over 30% more copies than competing products, just as you claim
it does.
Copywriting for Beginners Part 3 - Persuasion
© Alan Sharpe
www.sharpecopy.com
This type of testimonial helps customers see that your organization understands customer needs.
A tribute testimonial expresses esteem, admiration or gratitude, and is made to honour or thank a
person or business.
An example is a thank-you letter from a customer expressing gratitude for outstanding customer
service, or a note congratulating a business on receiving an industry award for sales.
This type of testimonial shows customers that your organization meets customer needs.
As you can imagine, the type of testimonial you use in your copy depends on your goal.
On some occasions, you need to build trust.
On others, you need to prove a point.
YOUR SUCCESS DEPENDS ON YOUR ABILITY TO USE THE RIGHT TYPE OF
TESTIMONIAL WITH THE RIGHT AUDIENCE IN A COMPELLING WAY.
Get your testimonials right
Testimonials are valuable because they say what you cannot.
If you say it, you’re boasting.
If a satisfied client says it, they are applauding.
Here are some tips on using testimonials to make your copy more plausible--and profitable.
1. Don’t write your own testimonials
As a copywriter, I have a standing policy never to write testimonials for others to sign.
I never put words in a customer’s mouth.
That’s because customer testimonials have an authentic sound to them that you cannot reproduce
with your own pen.
The only change I make to testimonials is to correct typos and grammatical mistakes that would
otherwise embarrass the person making the testimonial.
2. Attribute the testimonials fully
There may actually be a J. K. in Wyoming but I do not know him, and neither do your prospects.
Copywriting for Beginners Part 3 - Persuasion
© Alan Sharpe
www.sharpecopy.com
Your testimonials carry the most credibility when they are attributed to a person by name, and
include that person’s job title and company.
Prospects check up on us marketers, you know.
I once landed a contract with a client who, before retaining my services, visited my online
testimonials page, clicked on one of the company links, and asked to speak to the person who
had given the testimonial.
3. Match your testimonials with your target audience
Ideally, you should have an arsenal of testimonials at your disposal for every kind of tactic and
target audience.
The best advertisements and promotions use testimonials that match the needs and wants of the
prospect.
Collect testimonials about your product quality, customer service, response times,
professionalism, value for money and so on.
Then pick the testimonial that matches your selling proposition, offer and audience.
For example, if you are a motorcycle dealer in Chicago, the best testimonial to use when
targeting motorcycle buyers is one from a customer in Chicago or its suburbs, who was
extremely satisfied when buying a motorcycle from you.
4. Ask permission
This goes without saying, which, in English, means I am going to say it.
Always get written permission from your customers to use their testimonials in sales letters,
collateral and online promotions.
5. Turn compliments into testimonials
You don’t have to solicit testimonials if your customers regularly say or write nice things about
you, which I imagine is the case.
Simply ask their permission to quote what they have already said.
BY THE WAY, IF YOU LIKED THIS LESSON, WHY NOT WRITE ME A REVIEW?
REVIEWS, AFTER ALL, ARE TESTIMONIALS.
Copywriting for Beginners Part 3 - Persuasion
© Alan Sharpe
www.sharpecopy.com
Give your buyer a deadline
Giving your prospect a deadline for ordering, particularly when that deadline is a date and not
simply a period of days, will outpull copy with no deadline almost every time.
But you need to be cautious about deadlines.
If you're making a time-limited offer, give a reason.
And make it a good reason.
Otherwise your readers may be skeptical.
Your time-limited offer needs to be plausible.
And it shouldn't make you look greedy.
For example, "Order before the June 30 tax increase" gives a good reason for responding.
Simply saying, "Order before June 30" does not.
Also, be prepared to see inquiries die after your deadline.
If your prospects and customers take your offer seriously, as they should, do not plan on
receiving any more sales after your deadline arrives.
Plan your time-limited offers carefully.
If your cut-off date is too soon, your potential customer may see your offer only after the
deadline has passed.
And if your deadline is too far off, you encourage potential customers to delay and defer and
eventually forget about your deadline.
REMEMBER, GIVING YOUR PROSPECT A DEADLINE FOR ORDERING WILL
OUTPULL COPY WITH NO DEADLINE ALMOST EVERY TIME.
Copywriting for Beginners Part 3 - Persuasion
© Alan Sharpe
www.sharpecopy.com
Offer a guarantee that hurts
The best guarantee to offer your potential buyers is one that hurts.
Hurts you, that is.
Like you, your potential buyer lives in a rip-off society where merchants sell shoddy products
and vendors do not honour their promises.
In this kind of selling and buying climate, the best way to increase your response rates and
encourage repeat business is to offer a guarantee that hurts you but helps your customer.
The more you have to lose, and the less your customer has to lose, the better off you both will be.
Here's what I mean.
1. Make your guarantee unconditional.
Let customers know you will honour your guarantee for any reason.
Say something like, "If you are unsatisfied with our product for any reason, we will refund your
money."
2. Offer a 100% money-back refund.
Don’t charge a “re-stocking fee.” Don’t withhold the taxes.
Give every penny back.
Say something like, "If you are unsatisfied with our product for any reason, we will refund your
full purchase price."
3. Set the length of the guarantee at infinity.
Offer a lifetime guarantee.
Agree to take back the merchandise at any time.
Say something like, "If you are unsatisfied with our product for any reason, at any time that you
own this product, return it to us for a full refund."
Offering this kind of guarantee will hurt.
You’ll be afraid of people taking advantage.
And some will.
Copywriting for Beginners Part 3 - Persuasion
© Alan Sharpe
www.sharpecopy.com
You’ll be afraid of the pain to your bottom line, and rightly so.
But the beauty of offering an unconditional, lifetime, 100% money-back guarantee is that it helps
you lose a few battles here and there but win the war.
You’ll have to give some customers their money back once in a while, and take back used
merchandise that you cannot re-sell.
You’ll lose some money.
Maybe lose face a little.
But you’ll keep your customer.
Plus, and this is the most important point, you'll persuade more people to buy from you.
Guarantees like this increase sales.
Remember, dissatisfied customers tell others.
And satisfied customers tell others.
A dissatisfied customer who returns your product and receives a 100% refund quickly turns into
a satisfied customer of sorts.
So, offer a guarantee that hurts you a lot.
YOU’LL FEEL BETTER FOR IT.
Copywriting for Beginners Part 3 - Persuasion
© Alan Sharpe
www.sharpecopy.com
Follow these Five Tips for Better Copy
Sometimes the easiest way to improve your copy is to return to the basics.
Here they are:
1. Start with your prospect, not you
Research by Claude Hopkins, George Gallup and other advertising giants shows that readers of
advertisements and marketing messages are interested more in themselves than they are in an
advertiser’s product or service.
Aim your messages at the prospect and say everything from the prospect’s point of view.
Don’t begin your copy with “WE” when you can begin with “YOU.”
2. Start in the middle
Never begin your body copy by repeating what the reader already knows from your headline and
visual.
Start your body copy with your next point.
Go right to your main selling proposition with a wallop.
3. Start selling in the first paragraph
Fire your biggest cannon in the first line of copy.
Promise readers a benefit.
Give them a reason to continue reading.
4. Be relevant
Good copy is interesting to read, but not everything that’s interesting belongs in the copy.
So, stick with your main selling proposition.
If your facts aren’t accurate, you’ll lose credibility and the sale.
5. Present useful information
Each piece of copy you write must tell your readers something useful that they didn't know.
Whenever possible, present hard, real-world tips, facts and advice that help prospects make
responsible, informed decisions about your product.
THAT'S IT.
Copywriting for Beginners Part 3 - Persuasion
© Alan Sharpe
www.sharpecopy.com
Why your copy needs an offer
In copywriting, the offer is the incentive or reward that you dangle in front of your prospects to
motivate them to respond to your marketing message.
In business-to-consumer direct mail, for example, a magazine publisher will offer a yearly
subscription to its magazine at 60% off the newsstand price.
The discount is the offer.
It motivates prospects to subscribe now and save 60%.
Offers are vital to the success of just about any marketing copy.
You need to motivate action.
Without a clear, compelling offer, your response rates will be low and your promotion
unprofitable.
Here’s why you need an offer:
Reason number 1: Your prospects are preoccupied
The people you are trying to reach are just as busy as you are.
They avoid salespeople.
They avoid things that waste their time.
They use call display to avoid telemarketers and they use ad blockers to avoid ads.
You need a compelling offer because you only have a second or two to grab your prospect’s
attention.
Don’t expect that your company name, or your product name, or your top product feature, will
grab their attention.
Use a compelling offer instead.
Reason number 2: Your prospects don’t care about you
That sounds kind of harsh, stated like that.
But your prospects don’t care about your company, your qualifications or your product features.
That means your copy has to meet your prospects where they are, not where you are.
Copywriting for Beginners Part 3 - Persuasion
© Alan Sharpe
www.sharpecopy.com
You have to start by saying “you” rather than saying “we.” Your offer, clearly communicated,
shows prospects that you care about them.
Reason number 3: Your prospects are sceptical
Tired of advertising hype? Your prospects are, too.
They read all sales messages with their built-in hype detector in full operation.
Your offer helps to overcome this scepticism by showing your prospects that you will reward
them for taking action.
You are not asking them to believe your sales pitch, just to respond to your offer, and to take the
sales process to the next step.
Reason number 4: Your prospects are self-interested
Your prospects are interested in themselves.
They don’t want to hear about what your product or service does as much as what it will do for
them.
When you offer a free report that promises to save your prospects time, money or effort, or
promises to make them more efficient and look good in front of their managers, you answer the
“what’s in it for me?” question in a satisfactory way.
In copywriting, the offer is the incentive or reward that you dangle in front of your prospects to
motivate them to respond to your marketing message. IMPROVE YOUR OFFERS, AND
YOU'LL IMPROVE YOUR RESPONSE RATES.
Make two offers
In marketing, you are unlikely to reach prospects at the very moment they are ready to buy.
And even if you do, you are not likely to close the sale with just one piece of copy.
That’s because most buying decisions rarely involve just one step (such as dropping a cheque in
the mail or placing an order using your toll-free number).
Instead, the buying cycle typically involves looking for information, learning about solutions,
comparing brands, deciding on the best option, then making the purchase.
Because you do not usually know where cold prospects are in their buying cycle, your copy
should try to hook them wherever they are.
The best way to generate a response is to present more than one offer.
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There are Hard Offers
The hard offer asks for the order.
“Call before June 18th to save 40% off your network installation.” “Book your commercial
property tax audit now.” Use a hard offer when you want your copy to generate immediate
action—usually in the form of a sale.
Prospects who respond to hard offers are usually able and willing to buy right now.
Then there are Soft Offers
The soft offer asks your prospects to raise their hands in a show of interest, but does not ask for
an order or a commitment.
An example of a soft offer: “Download your free copy of our special industry report.” Use a soft
offer when you want to generate a sales lead rather than an immediate sale.
Soft offers identify prospects who are able to buy, just not willing to buy right now.
You follow up with them and close the sale later on.
I recommend that your copy include a hard offer and a soft offer.
That's because you want your copy to generate either a sale or a sales lead. Hard offers generate
sales. SOFT OFFERS GENERATE SALES LEADS.
Six proven free offers
In marketing, the offer is the incentive or reward that you dangle in front of your prospects to
motivate them to respond to your marketing message, either with an order or with a request for
more information.
Offers follow a, “you do this and we’ll do that” format.
For example: “Place your order before June 3 and we’ll reduce your price by 40%” or “Phone
now and we’ll send you a free demo CD.”
Here are some examples of offers that businesses use to sell their products and services using the
power of "free." Each of these offers gives the prospect something for free.
“Free” is still a word that increases response, though it is not as effective as it once was because
readers are more sceptical and because spam filters often delete emails that contain the word.
1. Free trial
Customers try your product or service before paying for it.
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Example: “Try our product risk-free for 30 days and pay only if you buy.”
Pros: Increases response because it eliminates the buyer’s fear of ordering what may prove to be
unsatisfactory merchandise.
Cons: Increases cost of processing orders.
Hampers cash flow.
2. Free gift for inquiry
Prospects receive a free gift when they request more information.
Example: “Call now to learn more, and to receive your free 2006 Wall-Mounted Day Planner.”
Pros: Effective at increasing inquiries.
Cons: Respondents are usually less qualified, since some will just want your gift, not what
you’re selling.
3. Free information
You give prospects information that helps them make an informed buying decision.
Example: Free catalog, booklet, report, white paper, video.
Pros: Effective when your product is either complex or expensive, or both, and what you want is
a sales lead, not an immediate sale.
Also useful when you sell more than one thing.
Cons: Adds to your lead generation costs.
Some people collect information but never buy.
4. Free demonstration
You demonstrate your product, usually at the prospect’s place of work.
Example: “Call us toll-free to arrange a free, no-obligation demonstration of our new XYZ
Dump Trailer.”
Pros: An effective way to secure meetings with prospects.
Overcomes fears and objections (assuming your product is good).
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Gives you opportunity to answer customer questions in person.
Cons: Expensive when it involves a sales visit.
5. Free analysis
You offer prospects a free needs analysis, survey, audit or check up.
Example: “To book your complementary, no-obligation Network Safety Audit, call us today.”
Pros: Attractive because it gives prospects value and helps them see how you operate.
Helps you qualify prospects.
Cons: Expensive when it involves a visit to the prospect’s business.
Time-consuming.
6. Free estimate
You offer prospects a free estimate of what they will pay to retain your services or buy your
product.
Example: “To receive a free estimate of your cost to install the new Nampro 767, call us now.”
Pros: Helps you generate leads.
You get a chance to meet face-to-face with prospects, if necessary.
Cons: Time-consuming.
Some prospects will just be shopping for best price.
Others will be checking to see if they got a good deal from your competitor.
Expensive when it involves a face-to-face meeting.
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Use one of these 10 B2B information offers
Rarely in business-to-business marketing will you close a sale with one marketing message
alone.
That’s because products and services that are sold by business to business are usually more
complex and more expensive than their business to consumer counterparts.
A sole proprietor buys a computer upgrade by writing a cheque.
A Fortune 500 firm buys a computer upgrade by first forming a committee.
In B2B, buying cycles are longer, too.
And the buying (and selling) process usually involves dozens of steps, and more than one person.
For that reason, as a B2B copywriter, you can almost never entice your prospect to buy simply
by offering the same incentives that work in B2C marketing, such as discounts, time-limited
offers and buy-now-pay-later payment plans.
In B2B lead generation, you are after a lead, not a sale.
But you are unlikely to reach prospects at the very moment they are ready to buy.
Because you do not usually know where cold prospects are in their buying cycle, your copy
should try to hook them wherever they are.
One of the best ways to generate an inquiry is to offer prospects information that helps them
make an informed decision.
Here are some ideas for informational offers.
1. A book.
If your company president has literally “written the book” on your industry or your
solution, offer the book free of charge as a way to generate leads.
2. A booklet.
Pick a topic that interests your prospects and helps sell them on their need for what you
are selling.
3. A white paper.
Offer a white paper, written by an impartial third-party if possible.
4. An article.
If you have received favourable and recent coverage in the trade press, offer a reprint of
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the article.
Or offer an article that discuses your prospect’s business challenges.
5. A case study or customer success story.
Package your best case studies into an attractive format, and offer that.
6. A report.
Offer a report that deals with the hot issues of the day for your prospect’s industry.
Buy reprint rights from an industry trade publication if necessary, or commission your
own report.
7. A video.
If you sell a product that is best seen in action, offer a video that demonstrates the product
solving your prospect’s problem.
8. A DVD.
This is the medium, not the message, so make sure that what you offer on the disc is more
than a sales pitch.
And make sure you offer information of value.
9. A podcast.
Captivate your prospects during their drive to work.
For example, offer a keynote address from an industry conference, delivered by a speaker
whose opinion your prospects respect.
10. A seminar, webinar or teleseminar.
Offer valuable insight on leading business concerns.
Offer the seminar free of charge to attract many leads, or charge a fee to attract fewer, but
better-qualified, leads.
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If in doubt, discount
Every piece of copy you put in front of customers or potential customers should contain an
incentive that motivates your reader to place an order or request more information.
In direct response parlance, this incentive is called your “offer.”
Discounts are effective offers.
Depending on what you are selling, and depending on who you are selling it to, offering a
discount is likely to increase your response rate and the number of orders you receive.
Here are four discounts that you can offer.
1. Cash discount.
This is the most common discount.
You discount your price by a dollar amount or a percentage of the purchase price.
Example: “Buy the ABC Sendomatic before 12 August and save 20% off the retail price (a $55
saving).”
Pros: Motivates people who need to save money.
Cons: Not as popular as offering a free gift that has a high perceived value but costs you less
than the discount.
For example, you will likely generate a greater response by offering a free AM/FM clock radio
with every order (which costs you $25 to give away) than you will by offering a discount of $25,
since the free gift has a higher perceived value than the discount.
2. Introductory discount.
You let buyers try your product or service for a limited time at a special low rate.
Example: “Enjoy 30 days of unlimited long-distance calling to anywhere in North America for
just $5 a month.”
Pros: Lets buyers sample your product or service before committing to the full price.
Cons: Only works if you can cost-effectively convert introductory buyers into long-term
customers at your full rates.
3. Early bird discount.
You offer a discount to customers who buy before a compelling deadline or buying season.
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The deadline might be the end of their fiscal year (discounted tax forms, for example).
The season might be Christmas (discounted calendars and cards).
Example: “Place your order for Christmas cards before July 31 and save 25% on your order.”
Pros: Motivates those who need to stock up on a given item in anticipation of heavy demand.
Cons: Only works if the deadline is close enough to generate a sense of urgency, but is far
enough away that you do not lose money by pricing too far below your regular seasonal price.
4. Quantity discount.
Your clients receive a discount when they order a certain quantity or volume of your product.
Example: “Save $35 off our regular retail price with orders of 100 or more.”
Pros: A good way to move excess inventory.
Cons: Only suitable when you sell in volume.
Not suitable for most services.
Depending on what you are selling, and depending on who you are selling it to, offering a
discount is likely to increase your response rate and the number of orders you receive. TRY
ONE, AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS.
Improve your offers with this checklist
With few exceptions, every piece of copy you write should contain an offer.
The offer is the incentive or reward that motivates prospects to respond to your marketing
message, either with an order or with a request for more information.
“Subscribe to Hook, Line and Sinker today and save 45% off the newsstand price” is an example
of an offer.
To be effective, your offers must pass seven tests.
Test 1. Is your offer exclusive?
Are you making your offer only to a select few (and making them feel that they are an exclusive
bunch), or are you making your offer to everyone and his dog? For example, is your mailing
envelope addressed to “Occupant”?
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Test 2. Is your offer valuable?
Will your prospects perceive your offer to be of value to them? Your offer may be inexpensive
for you to offer, but it must have high perceived value to your potential customers.
For example, a $100 gift card to The Home Depot has high perceived value to your prospects,
but is inexpensive for you to offer if it lands you a sale worth $5,000.
Test 3. Is your offer unique?
Is the deal you are offering only available through your business? In other words, is no other
business offering a similar offer?
Test 4. Is your offer useful?
Your offer can be exclusive but useless (an engraved pet rock).
Or unique and useless (a bag of sand from the Sahara).
Make sure your offer helps your prospects save money, save time, do their jobs better or
something else just as helpful.
Test 5. Is your offer relevant?
You could offer a 40% volume discount on laptop computers to both travelling salespeople and
to computer retailers.
Both groups buy laptops, both groups appreciate a discount, but only one group buys in volume.
Your offer must be relevant to your target audience.
Test 6. Is your offer plausible?
Some offers are too good to be true.
Others are silly.
I received an email from a spammer, offering me one million email addresses in electronic
format for only $240.
“Order now. Quantities are limited,” he said.
How can anything offered in electronic format be limited in quantity? It can't. So the offer wasn't
plausible.
Test 7. Is your offer easy to obtain?
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The harder you make it for your prospects to obtain your offer, the lower your response rates will
be.
So, make your order forms clear, simple and short, your toll-free phone number obvious on the
page, and your conditions of purchase few in number.
Keep them hooked
Anglers in Maine catch trout using dry flies with barbless hooks.
Unless they keep tension on the line all the way to the net, they lose the trout.
Your sales letters must do the same.
But how?
One secret to keeping busy business readers hooked is to use irresistible transition sentences.
Transition sentences come at the end of one paragraph and the beginning of the next.
Good transition sentences leave your readers hanging in a number of ways.
One of them is to tell your reader that are number of things are coming up, forcing your reader to
transition to the next paragraph to learn what some of those things are.
If you’ve ever listened to a person with a pronounced stutter, you know how hard it is to wait
while that person completed a thought.
Your prospects are the same.
If you almost complete a thought at the end of one paragraph, they will begin reading the
paragraph that follows to complete your thought.
But that’s not all.
Another way to keep your reader hooked throughout your copy is to end one paragraph with
“that’s not all” or a similar thought.
Or to start your next paragraph with the word “another.” Each device shows the prospect that
you have not finished, that the prospect has more to learn.
And so the prospect keeps reading.
And yes, there are some other hooks you might want to try.
You can start a paragraph with the word “you,” the one word that prospects and customers never
get tired of seeing in print.
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Or you could try another proven tactic.
And that is starting a paragraph with the word “and.” Read the Gospel of Mark in the Bible
sometime.
It’s one of my favourite books.
You’ll find the narrative almost impossible to stop reading, it’s that exciting.
That’s because the writer begins so many of his sentences with “and” that you are compelled to
continue reading to discover what comes next.
(I won’t give away how the book ends. Read it and find out.)
But there’s another device that’s just as powerful as the word “and.” Do you know what it is?
It’s the question mark.
Put one at the end of one paragraph, with the answer at the beginning of the next paragraph, and
YOU’LL KEEP YOUR READER HEADED TOWARDS YOUR NET.
Make your direct mail copy more personal
The easiest way to increase the effectiveness of your sales letters is to make your copy more
personal.
Given the choice between reading a flyer and reading a hand-written note from a friend, most
people will read the personal note first.
Here are some ways to make your copy more personal.
ENVELOPE
Use a stamp instead of a postal indicia or metered postage.
Hand-write something on the envelope.
Hand-write the address.
Attach a Post-It note, signed with your first name or initials.
LETTER
Attach something interesting to the letter with a paperclip.
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Use a full date: Wednesday, 5 March, 2018.
Use a personalized salutation (“Dear Alan,” not “Dear Business Owner”)
Start your first sentence with a compelling fact that you know about the reader in particular.
Use the reader’s name somewhere in the letter, without sounding fake.
Elsewhere in the letter, name the reader’s company, or industry, or neighnourhood or brand of
car or anything else that shows you know and understand the reader (just make sure you sound
sincere and don’t come across as a privacy-invading vendor, or, worse, a stalker).
Sign the letter by hand.
INSERT
If you enclose a brochure, print it using variable data imaging so the photos match the age or
gender or buying profile of your prospect.
Print the brochure on the fly, putting the reader’s name in the headline or opening line of copy.
Give your sales pitch with subheads
A subscriber to my newsletter asks: "Got any good pointers on writing great sub-heads?" Yes, I
do.
Here they are.
1. Use subheads to draw attention to your copy
Why do we use subheads anyway? Because you can’t just cover the important points in your
copy.
You’ve got to highlight key points using graphic devices, such as bold type, italics, underlining,
bullets and subheads.
If a key point is your guarantee, then put the word “guarantee” in one of your subheads.
If your copy says somewhere that subheads help skimming readers, then put that vital point in a
subhead, like this:
2. Use subheads to help skimming readers
Readers like to skim.
So, use subheads to show readers what each section of your copy discusses.
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Look at this lesson, for example.
A glance from top to bottom tells you this article has three tips on writing effective subheads.
You discovered that by skimming.
Subheads lead your readers point by point through your sales pitch.
This way, readers who only skim your copy still learn, in outline form, what you are selling.
3. Use subheads to break up large blocks of text
Page after page of uninterrupted type is monotonous to look at (unless you are reading a novel).
But if you break up your copy with a subhead here and there, you show your readers that there is
some respite along the way.
Subheads make your copy more inviting to read.
Keep your readers hooked with great captions
One of your challenges as a copywriter is keeping your readers hooked so that they read all your
copy, from start to finish.
The problem is, many prospects don't read your copy from start to finish.
They skim.
They read your headline.
They read your subhead.
They skip down to your call to action.
They read your first subhead.
They look at your photos.
They read your callout.
They read your testimonial.
My advice is that you use subheads, callouts and other devices to keep your readers hooked.
And one of the most important places to keep your potential buyers hooked is your photos.
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Here are some rules for writing captions that keep your prospects reading.
Rule #1: Caption every image
Captions are like subheads.
Readers often skim through catalogs, glancing at the photos and reading the accompanying
captions when a particular image arouses their interest.
A photo is never worth a thousand words.
Every photo needs some words that explain to potential buyers what they are seeing in the
image.
If all your readers do is look at your images and read the captions, they should get a complete
sales pitch.
So caption every image.
Rule #2: Make captions describe something the reader can’t see
My second rule for captions is to never describe what readers can see for themselves in your
photo.
If your photo shows a man in a golf shirt, for example, don't place a caption beneath the photo
that simply says, "New Golf Shirt." Instead, write a caption that communicates a benefit that the
reader cannot see, one that the photographer could never capture.
Write something like this:
“NEVER A HOLE IN ONE: Our new Glengarry Golf Shirt features Teflon fabric protection that
forms an invisible shield around fibers for superb protection against tears and punctures.”
Rule #3: Start your captions with a clever spin on a product benefit
My third rule for captions is to start them, whenever possible, with a pithy intro phrase.
In five words or fewer, capture the essence of what you are saying with a clever word play, like
the one above, a golf shirt made from a fabric so strong that you'll never get a hole in one.
Here’s another example.
It's a caption under a photo if the new iPad Pro, which features a faster processor for better
multitasking.
The caption reads, "Redesigned from the swipe up.
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Multitasking with the iPad pro is easier than ever with Slide Over and Split View."
That caption puts a smile on my face.
Your photo captions will do the same if you make them clever, interesting and laden with
benefits that interest your readers.
Improve your readability
Why does some copy put a smile on your face while other copy puts a yawn in your throat?
Why are some marketing messages harder to read than others?
Keeping your reader hooked right to the end of your sales pitch is one of the hardest challenges
in copywriting.
The secret is making your copy easy to read.
Entertain
Successful copy arouses your interest, makes you laugh, intrigues you in some way or makes you
want to sit down with a coffee and see what the writer has to say.
Without detracting from your main message and reason for writing, try to make your copy
entertaining.
If you want a good example of entertaining, informative writing, read the product description by
Moosejaw.
[https://blog.hubspot.com/blog/tabid/6307/bid/33441/10-companies-that-totally-nailcopywriting.aspx]
This outdoor apparel outlet store uses humor as a way to sell their products without being overly
forward about it.
By appealing to people's emotions, they're more engaging and memorable.
Here are a few examples: An ad for the Hedgehog fastpack.
"15% less adorable than an actual hedgehog but 60% more durable and now 24% off."
Or this ad for their Ozonic backpack.
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"Bad days happen. But at least your stuff will be dry."
Match your tone with your reader
Think about your prospect’s age, gender and personality type while you write.
I once wrote a sales letter aimed at bankers who are in the Fortune 50 group of companies.
The tone I used was different from the one I use when writing to people who buy shoes online.
Avoid jargon 24/7
Unless you are certain that your reader knows what an AVM is for or why hydrodynamic
lubrication starvation is a problem, leave out the jargon.
In its place, use plain English that makes your point without patronizing the reader or making
you sound like you are a novice to the prospect’s industry.
Make your sentences short
Like this.
Prefer the short word over the long word.
Vary your sentence length to avoid monotony, but aim to keep your sentences readable in one
breath.
Short sentences are easier to understand.
Pitch to the right IQ level
Aim your selling message at the intelligence level of one of your typical customers.
Don’t overestimate their intelligence, or underestimate, it either.
Relax
Don’t throw away your Strunk and White.
But don’t become its slave, either.
Break the rules of grammar when needed to avoid sounding stiff and institutional.
Apple, for example, once ran a campaign where their marketing slogan was, "Think different."
That slogan is grammatically incorrect.
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It should have been, "Think differently." Apple new that.
And they wanted to be different.
They wanted their customers to be different.
So, they created a slogan that broke the rules of grammar.
IT WORKED.
Sound Conversational
I am doing what you do, sitting at my computer, trying to get my thoughts out of my head and
into a written form that will help you make a decision.
In this particular case, I am trying to write a few intelligent remarks about sounding
conversational in your copy.
You know, how to write copy that sounds like it came from the mind of a person and not an
institution.
I suppose the first thing I can tell you is that you should write the way you talk, unless, of course,
you talk in halting sentences punctuated with “ya knows” and “like, you know what I mean?”
And if you usually write marketing messages that are from someone else, your CEO, for
example, then you need to write the way that person speaks.
The secret to sounding personal and conversational on paper is to imagine that you are having a
conversation with your customer or prospect.
A back-and-forth exchange where your reader asks questions and you supply answers.
That way, your copy sounds like it is written by a living, breathing person, since it addresses
issues that are important to the reader, and does so in a warm, lively style.
What else can I tell you? Rhetorical questions are one device at your disposal.
Rhetorical questions, as I am sure you know, are questions that are asked for rhetorical effect,
not expecting an answer.
You can use one or two in your copy if you like.
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Rhetorical questions create the sense that a conversation is taking place between you and your
prospect or customer.
I don’t have to tell you that another way to sound conversational is to use the first person a lot.
That means you say, “Your business means a lot to me,” instead of saying “Your business means
a lot to us,” or, even worse, “Purchases made by your company are appreciated by my firm.”
Remember, business people buy from people, not businesses, so you want to sound like a
business person, not an impersonal business, when you write your copy.
I just thought of another one.
Without being fake or insincere, mention that you thought of your client today, or yesterday, or
recently, showing that there is a relationship between the two of you.
Naturally, only say “I was thinking of you this morning” if you actually were.
Otherwise you will be making stuff up.
You may be relieved to know that that you can be colloquial, too, which is a humdinger of a way
to establish rapport and sound genuine.
If your buyers know what a humdinger is, then by all means throw one into your copy at least
once a year.
You goal in all of this, if I may say so, is to sound authentic without being overly familiar or
coarse.
Another way to sound conversational is to be open in the way you talk about things.
Give your customers a glimpse into what life is like at your organization.
You probably want an example of what I mean, so here it is (here are two examples, actually):
Example A
Commercial-ese: “Shipments are dispatched from our warehouse in a timely and an
efficient manner in accordance with our ISO 9000 designation.”
Conversational: “Our warehouse manager, Bob Fletcher, will make sure your shipment is
headed towards your plant by end of day today.”
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Example B
Commercial-ese: “Our sales department is in receipt of your order of Jan 23.”
Conversational: “Kathryn in our sales office told me about your recent order.
Thanks for your repeat business, Alan!”
Another sure way of avoiding “bureaucratic-speak” is to say everything in the active voice.
Don’t say “money is saved” when you can say “you save money.”
Avoid writing “operating costs are reduced” when you can instead write “we reduce your
operating costs.”
See the improvement?
Passive voice sounds institutional. Active voice sounds conversational.
I hope that these tips help you write effective copy.
COPY THAT COMES FROM YOUR HEART, AND IS EFFECTIVE FOR THAT REASON.