Peer review to Lynn Ayoub’s poems
I am going to give my opinion on your poem “Life” that I believe is only poem that I will be able
to lay my comments on as it respects a clear structure.
It is obvious that you have written a ghazal, as you have arranged the 5 stanzas into selfcontained couplets able to stand alone.
I have read your poem carefully and can easily say that you have respected all the rules of a
ghazal, starting with:
- You have respected the rule that the lines of the first couplet should end with the same
word, in this case “Life”
- It is worth noting that you introduced a rhyme “inside” the lines before the final word
(“life”) in the lines of the first couplet  devour / power
- In addition, you have ended all the 2nd lines of each of the following couplets with the
word “life” that you have used as the final word in the first couplet
I can clearly see the imagery that you have created in the first stanza; how you contrasted
between death – from fire, ashes – and life – from the phoenix that has risen from the ashes
and renewed life.
It worth noting that you have created a mystical atmosphere in the 2nd couplet by employing
“selcouth” and “orphic”.
The anaphora that you employed has clearly created an artistic effect in the passage and has
created an attachment between the reader and the person described.
While reading your poem several times I found that in the 2nd line of the 4th couplet you have
broken some type of rhythm that have been ongoing since the beginning of the poem and that
you have got back to in the next couplet.
This change of rhythm has made the last stanza sound as if it was a fall instead of a rise.