Volume 1, Issue 1
May 2022
Brain Matters
Mental Health Association of Greater Chicago
Is Parenting Stress Endemic?
COVID-19 is becoming endemic. It will not
go away but we will
learn to live with and
manage it. What does
this mean for the parenting stress that has
settled in among families—and grabbed
headlines—for the past
two years during the
COVID-19 pandemic?
Will that stress also
wane but not quite disappear? Will we finally
begin to address parenting stress as a complex and dynamic system of interacting factors?
Pandemic or no pandemic, parenting is
challenging. Even as
going to school, working in offices, socializing, and participating in
activities resumes, a
majority of parents,
55%, say their heightened stress continues.
Dads especially recognize more than ever
what they psychologically need from parenting for their own wellbeing. In a 2021 survey,
the American Psychological Association
found that more dads
(82%) said they could
have used additional
emotional support during the pandemic than
mothers did (68%).
Also, more dads in the
survey received mental
health treatment than
moms during COVID
(38% vs. 26%); and
more were diagnosed
with mental health disorders (29% vs 19%).
We’re strategic partners with Chicago
Public Schools. That
means…
Parenting is a
challenge with
or without a
pandemic.

Stress occurs
when demands
of child rearing
outweigh parents’ capacities
or overwhelm
the rewards.

Many dynamic
factors trigger
parental stress

Understanding
the factors and
approaches to
Factors influencing
parental stress
As a dynamic system,
parenting stress is insufficiently understood
when viewed through a
lens of blame or praise
for an individual. Dynamic situations and
News
We received $_____
in funding for….
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Is Parenting Stress
Endemic?
1
News
1
Did you Hear About 6
Sponsors
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Brain Matters
Page 2
and contexts along with an
array of intertwined factors shape parenting stress
and their coping strategies.
Even as going
to school,
working in
offices,
socializing, and
participating in
activities
resumes, a
majority of
parents, 55%,
say their
Parenting stress occurs
when the demands of
child rearing outweigh
your capacities and overwhelm any rewards you
may otherwise feel as a
mom or dad. But meeting
these demands is not a test
of your character. Rather
your responses to demands are based on a slew
of interwoven factors that
include, but are not limited to, cultural pressures,
work demands, community support, financial security, and your child’s behavior.h
To be sure these factors
have strong social and
structural components. In
fact, a team of experts
from the Council on Contemporary Families found
that out of 22 developed
countries the U. S. has the
largest gap in happiness between people who are parents and those who are
not. That is, parents are
significantly more unhappy than their counterparts
who do not have children.
And the reason is societal.
Of all 22 countries in the
study, the U.S. has the
fewest and weakest social
policies allowing parents
to better combine paid
work with family obligations. Countries with
strong social policies do
not have this happiness
gap. (https://
www.journals.uchicago.ed
Policies,
u/doi/ hopefully, will be
forthcoming.
In the meanabs/10.1086/688892)
time, it’s important to
Policies,
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Learning to recognize and
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understand
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can help. So can consultLearning
to recognize
ing with mental
health and
understand these
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professionals.
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ing with
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these
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gies
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these factors and ways to
Cultural
pressures
personalize
coping strategies to specific situations.
When it comes to cultural
pressures pressures
affecting stress,
Cultural
the elephant in the room
When
it comes
to cultural
is “intensive
parenting”
—
pressures
affecting
the
prevailing
child stress,
rearing
the
elephant
in the room
norm.
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is “intensive
parenting”
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it
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equally
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the children
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to succeed
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ly and
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This
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rity
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developmentally, financialcultural
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ly and professionally.
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This
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fits the
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selves to these tiny as
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activities, enrichments,
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hausted
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and worries. The result is
pace
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What
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may consider
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proachesWhat
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doing:
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approaches you would say:
Brain Matters
Page 3
Caption describing
picture or graphic.
Our society’s
dearth of social
policies means
moms and dads
themselves must
take on much
Let children have time to
themselves and make decisions on their own. Let
them have space to feel
things like frustration and
disappointment. Let them
figure out and put together their own toolboxes for
coping. Let them deal with
free time without you orchestrating constant play
dates.
Disengaging in these ways
is bold because it runs
counter to cultural pressures. It takes a lot of
planning and self-control.
It takes clarity about what
you’ll be in charge of and
what you’ll delegate – really delegate! – to others
with a clean conscience.
But on the upside, it fosters independence in children, and it ratchets down
parenting stress. Not surprisingly, experts are beginning to see more moms
and dads turn toward such
lower monitoring approaches.
Work demands
Work-family conflicts are
a huge stressor. In the U.
S. today, 70% of mothers
and 93% of fathers who
have with children under
18 are in the work force
(https://
When
work and family
www.emerald.com/
demands conflict, your
insight/content/
risk
spikes for experiencdoi/10.1108/S1530ing distress, marital/
353520190000015001/
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work
tive impactsWhen
on children.
and family demands conWhat
it boils
is
flict, your
riskdown
spikestofor
time:
Having
enough
time
experiencing distress, marfor
both work
and chilital/partner
discord,
and
dren.
It
means
having
relinegative impacts
on chilable
dren.and desirable child
care arrangements and a
What it boilsdaily
down
to is
predictable
structure
time:
Having
enough
– at work and at hometime
for both
workneeds
and chilthat
fits your
for
dren.
It meansprice,
having
reliconvenience,
qualiableand
andwell-being.
desirable child
ty,
Disrupcare
arrangements
and a
tions exacerbate stress.
predictable
daily structure
And, as mentioned
earlier,
– at work
and at home
with
our society’s
dearththat
fits your
needs
for
of social
policies
means
convenience,
price,
qualimoms
and dads
themty,
and
well-being.
Disrupselves must take on much
tions
of
theexacerbate
burden to stress.
balance
And,
as
mentioned
earlier,
work and home. That
with
our
society’s
means
fending
fordearth
oneself
of the
social
policies
moms
in
face
of workplace
and
dads themselves
must
regulations
and inflexibilitakeinonscheduling,
much of the
burties
ecoden
to
balance
work
and
nomic insecurity, or eluhome.
That means
fendsive
resources
for help.
ing for oneself in the face
What
you may consider
doing:
of workplace
regulations
The
good news isinthat
and inflexibilities
schedfeeling
rewardedinsecurity,
from
uling, economic
parenting
positive
or elusive has
resources
foreffects on performance at
work; and feeling good
help.
about the quality of work
positively impacts home life
What you may conand reduces stress.
sider doing:
Recasting your attention to
The good news is
focus strongly on rewards
that feeling refrom your work and family,
warded from partherefore, can ramp up that
enting has posipositive vibe for both. At
tive effects on
home, for example, you
performance at
might increase rewards by
work; and feeling
making your relationships
good about the
with your partner a priority
quality of work
or by engaging in special
positively impacts
family activities.
home life and
reduces stress.
Also, sometimes
a small
Recasting
your
changes in the distribution
to focus
of tasks attention
at home alleviates
strongly
on
stress considerably - reperwards
from
your
haps changing role expectawork
family,
tions with
yourand
partner
or
therefore,
can
giving children chores.
ramp up that posIn addition,
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itiveasvibe
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offset theboth.
personal
burden
At home,
of managing
home and
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you
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to
communimight increase
cate openly
with by
your
manrewards
makager at work
about
your
ing your relationneeds and
accommodaships
with your
tions. partner a priority
or by engaging in
Finally, try to take “shouldspecial family acbe” out of your vocabulary,
tivities.
as in: “I should be spending
more time
withsometimes
my children
Also,
(or my work).”
In part, try
even a small
to reassess
how
cultural
changesthe
in the
norm of intensive parenting
Brain Matters
Page 4
may be driving these should
-be’s.
Community support
Caption describing
picture or graphic.
Neighbor
groups,
daycares,
playgrounds,
recreation
facilities, and
religious
organizations
play a crucial
role in holding
parental stress
It’s easy to take your
neighborhood and geographic context for granted. But neighborhood
groups, parent groups,
local daycares, playgrounds, recreation facilities, and religious organizations play a crucial role
in holding parenting stress
at bay. Research shows
that for moms with children under six (more so
than for dads), these community supports help relieve the work-family conflicts that trigger parental
stress. When community
resources are scarce or
missing, moms are more
depressed, anxious and
stressed about parenting.
Rebecca McCloskey and
Fei Pei, two family experts
at The Ohio State University, strongly advise,
“Bolster neighborhood
social cohesion [to] improve maternal mental
health outcomes.”
What you may consider doing:
Just recognizing how important a neighborhood is
or can be to your mental
well-being is a huge step.
. But
onisthe
upside,
it fosters
It
vital
to parenting
well
independence
in
children,
-being – something to be
and it ratchets
down
parvalued,
nurtured,
actively
enting
stress.
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surprisengaged in. ; and, when it
ingly,
experts
are beginis
good,
something
to
ning
to
see
more
moms
hang onto, not move away
and dads turn toward such
from.
lower monitoring apEven
if you just take a
proaches.
small step to become
Workademands
more
part of your neighborhood, it might reap
Work-family conflicts are
large benefits.
a huge stressor. In the U.
S. today, 70%
of mothers
Financial
security
and 93% of fathers who
Relieving
often
have with stressors
children under
depends
18 are in on
thesocial
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personal
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(https://
time
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www.emerald.com/
many
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nomically
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more
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and
parenting
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for
Scores
of
studies
are
beexperiencing distress, marginning
to examine
ital/partner
discord,similar
and
correlations
between
parnegative impacts on chilenting stress and minority
dren.
and immigration status.
What it boils down to is
When
a lack of
economic
time: Having
enough
time
resources
presents
for both work
and daily
chilhassles,
over
dren. It stress
meansspills
having
reliinto
parenting.
Hassles
able and desirable child
seem
to be everywhere.
care arrangements
and a
You
may
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stressed,
for
predictable daily structure
example, when your child
–isn’t
at work
andaway
at home
putting
toys, that fitsit your
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seeing
as a willful
act to
convenience,
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qualiannoy you with yet one
ty,
andhassle.
well-being. Disrupmore
tions exacerbate stress.
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youmentioned
may considerearlier,
doing:
And, as
Financial
security clearly
with our society’s
dearth
requires
policy
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of social policies moms
Still,
in your
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and dads
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might
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that, inwork
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denknow
to balance
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and dads
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uling, economic insecurity,
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enting hasand
posispecial needs
tive effects on
performance at
We cannot ignore the role
work; and feeling
of children in parenting
good about the
stress. Children’s acting
quality of work
out behaviors can trigger
positively impacts
parenting stress big time.
home life and
This type of stress is espereduces stress.
cially common when actRecasting your
ing out behaviors are tied
attention to focus
to autism spectrum disorstrongly on reder, attention deficit hywards from your
peractivity disorder
work and family,
(ADHD), Down’s syn-
Brain Matters
Page 5
drome, and mood disorders. Among these conditions, the highest level of
parenting stress comes
from children who have
autism spectrum disorder.
Today, family
and school
experts offer
many
behavioral
interventions
and “safe
spaces” with
proven track
records for
reducing
difficult
behaviors and
Until the turn of the 21st
century, little if anything
was known about most of
these disorders or their
effects on family life.
Thankfully, today more
strategies and support exist.
What you may consider doing:
Today, family and school
experts offer many behavioral interventions and
“safe spaces” with proven
track records for reducing
difficult behaviors and
enhancing children’s mental health. Evidence shows
that such child-centered
approaches are often all
moms and dads need to
decrease stress.
For some hard challenges,
parents too may need
“interventions.” For example, by becoming more
connected to each other
moms and dads find their
levels of stress decline
dramatically.
“should-be” out
of
Finally, mindfulness
about
your vocabulary,
your responses
to chalas
in:
“I
be
lenges can make should
a differspending
more
ence. Mental
health
extime
with
my
chilperts advise that the best
dren depression
(or my
way to avoid
work).”isIn
from parenting
to part,
rectry to
reassess set
ognize your
emotions;
howrespond
the cultural
them aside;
to
norm
of
intensive
your child in a problemparenting
be
solving mode;
and,may
afterdriving these
ward, reappraise
your responses should-be’s.
and accept that
emotions were strong.
deep knowledge about
It
is also
helpful
re- to
these
factors
andtoways
frame
the stressful
personalize
coping event
strateto
some positive
in it,
giesfind
to specific
situations.
to find diversions in
Cultural
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immerse
sociallytowith
othWhen it comes
cultural
ers.
Mostly
remember,
pressures affecting stress,
there
is no perfect
the elephant
in the parentroom
ing,
no
fixed
measure of—
is “intensive parenting”
what
constitutes
“doing
the prevailing
child
rearing
enough.”
Ruminating
with
norm. Now almost equally
guilt
aboutamong
past emotioncommon
all socioally-charged
encounters
economic groups alike, it
with
a childdrive
or judging
may tacitly
you to
yourself
inadequate
as a
give 24/7 attention and
parent
keeps
you
in
a state
resources to your chilof
suffering
and deters
dren’s
free time,
emotions
you
from
moving
and behavior. Theforward.
belief is
that
with this kind of help
Conclusion
the children will have a
It
is fortunate
fighting
chancethat
(orparentbetter)
ing
distressacademically,
has entered
to succeed
our
public conversation.
developmentally,
financialChild
has continuly and rearing
professionally.
This
norm fits the
insecuous challenges,
pandemic
ritynot.
andStress
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our
or
fromof
it is
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cultural
times.
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as
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told The
tors, not
a test of characWashington
Post,
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ter. If parenting stress fesgiving
so much
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negatively
imselves
to
these
tiny
pact family life and hucan
mans
that we
end up welljeopardize
children’s
crashing
and burning,
and
being.
Increasingly,
moms
anxiety
spikes
and
then
we
and dads are freeing themcan’t show
as our or
full
selves
fromup
ignoring
selves.”
In
fact,
parents
denying the stress they feel
can
caught
in andways
exand get
instead
seeking
hausted
by
this
frantic
to cope with the challengpace
vigilant
focus on
es of and
raising
children.
activities, enrichments,
extracurriculars,
oversight,
A first step toward
relievandparenting
worries. The
result
ing
stress
is tois
that
they
forget
they
recognize the dynamicshave
of
aitschoice
about
what
mindunderlying factors.
set
to apply
child
rearSome
factorstoare
cultural
ing.
(intensive parenting mindsets); others are economic
What you may con(work demands and finansider doing:
cial strains); and still other
factors are
social
You
might con(community
and
sidersupport)
other minddevelopmental
(behavior
sets, such
as natudisorders).
ral growth parenting approaches or
After recognizing
these
some blend
of
dynamics,
parents
can
natural growth
communicate
openly, try
and intensive
parvarious coping
enting. strategies,
With these
and turnapproaches
to mental health
you
professionals
help.
wouldfor
say:
Let
children have time
to themselves and
Mental Health Association of Greater Chicago
Working to make mental health a top priority for communities around the nation..
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Page 7
Thank you to our generous
Sponsors and Donors
Funding sources include:
Samuel Weinstein Foundation
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Edward andWanda Jordan Foundation
Griffith Foods
Mindful Care
Current Online Fundraising Campaign—various donations
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