My Mother at Sixty Six
by Kamala Das
BACKGROUND:
Kamala Das, was an Indian English poet and author popularly known for her short stories and
autobiography. She was known to be a sensitive writer who captured the complex subtleties of
human relationships.
The poem ‘My Mother at Sixty Six’ is essentially a sensitive portrayal of a daughter’s fear and
anxiety on looking at her mother who is ageing.
The poet was returning home to Cochin from her parents’ house accompanied by her 66 year
old mother who looked pale and listless. Looking at her mother, the poet is haunted by a
gnawing fear of loss.
Synopsis
The poem brings out the pain and anguish felt by the poet on seeing her aged mother dozing off
with her mouth open almost corpse –like in her appearance. She is agonized by the thought that
her mother is growing old and the childhood fear of losing her mother to death grips her. The
mother’s face is described as ‘ashen like a corpse’ and ‘pale as a late winter’s moon’- both of
which imply death.The first one is a rather morbid image which serves the purpose of making
the poem as honest as possible.She makes this stark comparison to show how the process of
ageing immediately brings up the fear of losing her mother in her mind.The poet also describes
how this haunting fear clearly leaves her unsettled.
The poet makes a conscious effort to drive away the morbid thought that her mother is
approaching death. However this turning away does not symbolise a turning away from her
responsibility towards her mother,but turning away from her own pain filled emotions.She diverts
her attention to the trees outside which seem to be running away in a youthful sprint when seen
from the moving car. She also looks at the merry children rushing out of their homes, brimming
with life and energy. The imagery of the ‘merry children’ and ‘young trees sprinting’ is used to
bring out a contrast between the ageing mother and youth. The trees and the children symbolize
youth, energy and vitality. The poet resorts to escapism to avoid the harsh reality of her
mother’s impending death.The second comparison that she makes is with the “late winter’s
moon”. The fact that the poet has specified that the moon which her mother’s face resembles is
the moon seen in winter is suggestive of the end of a year.Thus the dominant images together
symbolise the brevity of human life and certainty of death.
Kamala Dad could not reveal her fear to her mother and made an effort to cover up her pain by
smiling. She tried to put up a brave front by hiding her fear behind a forced smile. She tried to
hide her fear from her mother by making a promise that she would see her soon. The smile
might also imply a forced optimism which allowed her to believe that her mother might yet live
for a long time. The poet's despair and helplessness is discernible especially in so far as she
realises the inevitability of death and the fears that the loss of her mother will be irrevocable.
Theme:
The primary theme of the poem is fear of separation and loss. The poem deals with the
helplessness of a daughter on realising the inevitability of loss. The sense of impending death of
her mother greatly unsettles her. The poet lucidly expresses the complexity of human life
wherein a sense of guilt and compulsion are interwoven—guilt at having to leave mother behind
and compulsion to meet other commitments and forge ahead in life.
EXPLANATION:
Lines 1 – 4:
Driving from my parent’s
home to Cochin last Friday
morning, I saw my mother,
beside me,
The poet recalls a trip back to Cochin from her holiday in her parents’ house the previous week.
It was a Friday, and that morning, she was driving with her mother who was sitting next to her
on the front seat.
Lines 5 – 10:
doze, open mouthed, her face
ashen like that
of a corpse and realised with pain
that she was as old as she
looked but soon
put that thought away, and
During the drive, her mother fell asleep on the front seat with her mouth slightly open. Her face
was pale, and it reminded her of the nearly white faces of dead bodies. At this point,she realizes
that her mother was not young any longer, and that her appearance had caught up with her age.
Poetic Devices-Simile: ‘her face ashen like that of a corpse’
Her face is as pale and colourless as a dead body.
Lines 11 – 15:
looked out at Young
Trees sprinting, the merry children spilling
out of their homes, but after the airport’s
security check, standing a few yards
away, I looked again at her, wan, pale
The poet turned away from her ageing mother to look outside the window of the car which she
was driving. Outside, her eyes fell on the trees that the vehicle was passing by. The car was
moving so fast that it seemed to the poet that all the trees she could see were also running at
full speed past her. She also saw the children who were pouring out of their houses, brimming
over with excitement to get outside. The poet passed all these and reached the airport. Till then,
her mind was distracted by the sights. However, after the security check, she was standing a
short distance away from her mother and again she chanced to notice the old woman.
Poetic Devices-Metaphor: ‘the merry children spilling out of their homes’
symbolises energy, vitality of youth.The brisk and agile movement of the children is suggestive
of the youthful vigour and is a distinct sign of liveliness.
Tautology: similar words placed side by side ‘wan, pale’
Usage of same meaning words is for emphasis.
Personification: Young Trees sprinting,
The poet imagines the trees to be figures that are running alongside her car.
Lines 16 – 20:
as a late winter’s moon and felt that old
familiar ache, my childhood’s fear,
but all I said was, see you soon, Amma,
all I did was smile and smile and
smile……
The poet compares her mother’s face with the sight of the moon on a night towards the end of
winter.
The winter's moon, covered with a layer of mist and fog looks dull and lacklustre. The poet's old
mother too is in the winter of her life. Ageing has taken its toll and her face is wrinkled and pale
.Hence the poet compares her mother’s face with that of the moon on a winter night.
As the thought comes to her mind, her childhood fear surfaces once again – the fear that her
mother would die and they would be separated.
This was a 'familiar' fear- it had troubled her many times in her childhood and it was plaguing
her again now. However, she did not let it reflect on her face. Instead she put up a brave face
and waved goodbye. She assured her mother that they would be seeing each other again soon,
and all the while, even though she was in great agony, the smile never left her face.
Poetic Devices—
Simile:” .. as a late winter's moon”
During winter, the moon lacks its usual radiance. Similarly, the mother lacks the vibrance of
youth. ‘winter’ refers to the last stage of life.
Repetition: ‘all I did was smile and smile and smile…’
Repetition has been used for emphasis.
She smiles and says goodbye but in reality, she is heartbroken. Her smile is an attempt to
camouflage her pain and the insecurity of losing her mother.
Enjambment: (when a single idea spills over into successive lines until it is brought to its
conclusion).
This poem is a SINGLE SENTENCE expressed in 14 lines where one thought leads to another
in a continuous stream.
Irony of Human Relationships:
Intimate relationships, that are our solace, also become our burden. When young, such
relationships help us blossom, but as we forge ahead in our lives, for which we have been
trained, a sense of guilt pervades since we are compelled to leave behind the ones who have
sustained us.
Questions and Answers
Lines 1-4
Driving from my parent’s
home to Cochin last Friday
morning, I saw my mother,
beside me,
Q1. Where was the poet coming from? What was the purpose of her visit?
The poet was coming back from a trip to her parents’ house. She had come to visit them and
was going back to Cochin now.
Q2. Explain the line
'I saw my mother,
beside me'.
It was a Friday, and that morning, she was driving with her mother who was sitting next to her
on the front seat.
Lines 5 – 10:
doze, open mouthed, her face
ashen like that
of a corpse and realised with pain
that she was as old as she
looked but soon
put that thought away, and
Q1. What did the poet observe about her mother?
During the drive, her mother fell asleep on the front seat with her mouth slightly open. Her face
was looking very pale and colourless just like that of a dead body.
Q2. Explain the line
'ashen like that
of a corpse' and mention the poetic device used.
The mother's pale complexion reminded her of the nearly white faces of dead bodies.
The poetic device used here is a
simile.
‘her face ashen like that of a corpse’
Her face is as pale and colourless as that of a dead body.
Q3. What did the poet realize with pain?
At this point,she realized that her mother was inching closer towards death and that separation
from her mother was imminent.
Q4. What did she do after making her realization?
The truth about her mother ageing was very hard for the poet to accept, hence she decided to
focus on something else so that this thought did not distress her.
Lines 11 – 15:
looked out at Young
Trees sprinting, the merry children spilling
out of their homes, but after the airport’s
security check, standing a few yards
away, I looked again at her, wan, pale
Q1. Why did the poet turn away from her mother? What did she turn her attention to?
The poet turned away from her ageing mother to look outside the window of the car in which
she was travelling.
Outside, her eyes fell on the trees that the vehicle was passing by.
Q2. Explain ‘Trees sprinting’. Also mention and explain the poetic device used in the
phrase.
The car was moving so fast that it seemed to the poet that all the trees she could see were also
running at full speed past her in the opposite direction.
It seemed that those trees were quite youthful as they had the energy to move at such a fast
pace.
Personification: Young Trees sprinting,
The poet perceives the trees to be figures that are running alongside her car.The fast paced
movement symbolises the transience of youth.
Q3. Explain ‘the merry children spilling’. Also mention and explain the poetic device used
in the phrase.
Besides the trees, the poet also saw the children who were pouring out of their houses,
brimming over with excitement to get outside.
Poetic Device-Metaphor: ‘the merry children spilling out of their homes’
Q4. Why do you think that the poet looked at her mother again?
The poet passed all these and reached the airport. Till then, her mind was distracted by the
sights. But the thought about her mother was always there in her mind.
Q5. Why does the poet use synonyms like wan and pale to describe her mother?
Mention the poetic device used.
As she stood a short distance away from her mother she noticed that her mother appeared very
pale and insipid. She makes use of synonyms for emphasis.
Poetic Device
Tautology: similar words placed side by side ‘wan, pale’
Lines 16 – 20:
as a late winter’s moon and felt that old
familiar ache, my childhood’s fear,
but all I said was, see you soon, Amma,
all I did was smile and smile and
smile……
Q1. Why does the poet compare her mother’s face with the late winter’s moon?
The mother’s face looks pale and dull as age has caught up with her and she has lost her
youthful glow and charm. She is now in the winter of her life and is compared to the winter’s
moon covered with mist and fog.
Q2. Explain the phrase ‘late winter’s moon’
The poet compares her mother’s face with the sight of the moon on a night towards the end of
winter. The reference to the last season indicates that the year is coming to an end. This is
symbolic of the last phase of human life. Hence, it is an indication that the mother's life is
nearing its end.
Q3. What is the poet’s childhood’s fear? Why does she refer to it as a ‘familiar ache’?
As she made this comparison, her childhood fear surfaced once again – the fear that her mother
would die one day.
This was a fear that had troubled her many times earlier and it was plaguing her again now,
hence it is a familiar ache.
Q4. Explain the significance of
‘all I did was smile and smile and
smile…… ‘ Also mention the poetic device used.
However, she did not let it reflect on her face. Instead she put up a brave face and waved
goodbye. She assured her mother that they would be seeing each other again soon, and all the
while, even though she was in great agony, the smile never left her face.
Poetic Device-Repetition: ‘all I did was smile and smile and smile…’
Repetition has been used for emphasis.She smiles and says goodbye but in reality, she is
heartbroken. Her smile is an attempt to camouflage her pain and the insecurity of losing her
mother.