Lucas Duffy Mrs.Hakala English III 5/9/22 College Essay I started out my childhood like any other kid would. Endless creativity and optimism, the world was mine to conquer, nothing could interfere with my future and stop me from accomplishing the unknown. I had dreams of going to the moon, becoming a lawyer, or even a veterinarian, oblivious to the challenges set in place for me. With my sister at hand, she helped guide me through any minor inconvenience I endured and made me believe my life was as good as I imagined. Little did I know she was shielding me from my toughest battle, my dad. My father is an alcoholic, I didn’t make note of this until my sister left. With no one to shade me of this issue, I was forced to deal with it all alone at the young age of 13. With my sister leaving, I was exposed to a whole new world. A world of hurt, broken trust, broken relationships, and a broken family. Coming to school became an issue for me. Constant CPS visits in the school office made me dread the idea of even going, taking a toll on my grades and motivation. Even leaving school became an issue for me. Not being able to get picked up when sick because my father was passed out and even simply getting picked up because school had ended. This crushed me, in all honesty it made me believe my father didn’t even care for me, my health, or my education. At one point, my own mother had to drive all the way from Houston to Katy just to take me home, sometimes her boyfriend's brother did it as well. All of this happening at such a young age sparked a small depression in me. I wouldn’t eat, I wouldn’t sleep, I wouldn’t do homework and I would even skip school just to avoid anything from happening. I was lost, my own father was neglecting me. I seeked constant reassurance from everyone in my life just to feel appreciated. FaceTiming my sister almost every night to keep her updated and to hear “I love you”, I became dependent upon others' validation. At such a low point in my life, I became angry. Angry that my father had this much control over me. Angry that a person who seemed to not even care about me, was getting such a strong reaction from a person who cares the most. I made a promise to myself that I had to change, I had to get better, I had to become myself again. My first step was to find myself again. I had been broken down too much, it was now time to put back the pieces. I started falling in love with the gym. The pain and dedication that came along with such a decision gave me a purpose again. Seeing progress on my body began to turn to progress on my mind. I was becoming happy again. I was making new friends, getting more validation, and found a healthy distraction to my life. The countless hours at the gym helped push me away from the dreaded, sorrowful hours at home. I had found my peace. Along with the gym, I began opening up about it to others. This brought a sense of relief because it allowed others to not only empathize, but to also sympathize with me, making me feel not so alone. My friends began checking up on me, teachers, strangers, I felt like I had gained a new family. Once I felt comfortable and mature on the matter, I began seeking therapy. This allowed a more professional and grownup opinion to influence my viewpoint on life, and remind me of the many wonders of the world. It also allowed me to dissect my depression and introduce numerous ways to overcome it. With all of this pain coming to a close, I had been introduced to many valuable life lessons that I still use to this day. For starters, I had learned to not dread the negative, but to force out a positive. You cannot live your life meaningless and lost, you must find your purpose. You have only one life, so why not make it your best. I also learned to not put so much faith into people, you will only let yourself down. I had been praying and praying that my father would change, and that had only brought me more pain. The constant letting down and betraying overtook my body, leaving me feeling worthless and powerless. I had to stop and realize that you cannot change anyone except yourself. Tying into the previous lesson, I also learned the importance of self worth. What others say or do does not define who you are. You are you and that is amazing, regardless of what others have to think. Lastly, I had learned the importance of trust. Once it is broken, it will take a long time to come back, but in doing so, it also saves you from future let downs. There have been times where my father had promised me he would change and I trusted him only for that promise to be broken. Now when he and others make a promise to me or tell me to trust them, I don’t even think twice about it until it is actually done. In all, I have endured many challenges in my life and yet I am still standing here today to tell the story. I have overcome the toughest battle known to man, the mind, and in doing so I have seen the evil of the world first hand, and with that have become more mature and prepared for the obstacles awaiting me in the future.
