( all ) A very good morning we bid to the
( all) ) Honourable judges, ladies and gentlemen
( all) ) Let us entertain you with our
( all) ) Strange, yet hillarious tales
( all) ) About Malaysians
(pause)
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) Idiosyncrasies of Malaysians
) Huh? What's that?
) Little personal behaviors or nature
) Peculiar to Malaysians
) Funny but it's true!!!
) That these observations we make
) Can be about YOU!!!
(pause)
( all ) Malaysians by large ooze charm and care
( all ) Sensitive and mature
( all ) We compromise
( all ) And we share…
( all ) But why is it?!
( all ) Malaysians, when on the road
( all ) Mutate into monsters!
(line 1) Rude ...
(line 2) Selfish ...
(line 3) Dangerous ...
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) Racing taxis, noisy cars
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) Rushing here, rushing there
) Rushing here and everywhere!
) Immature road bullies
) Who smash windscreens and bones
) While hooting honking drivers
) Impatiently groan
(
) BEEP! BEEP! Eh! I signaled what!
(
) Signal your own side lah! My car my space what!
(
) Oh, dear! Is this Malaysia?
(
) Look at how they speak!
( all ) Sshhhhh !!!!!
( all ) We have drivers
( all ) Who turn highways into Formula One track
( baihaqi ) Hey, guys!
( baihaqi ) I am better than Michael Shumacher!
( all ) Boooo….
(pause)
( all ) We have motorcyclist
( all ) Who zig zag their way to death
( all ) Vroom ~ ~ Vroom ~ ~
( all ) Motorists suddenly slow down
( all ) Necks outstretch
( all ) Eyes affixed
(anis) ACCIDENT ~ ~ ACCIDENT ~ ~
(anis) Eh, somebody call the ambulance!
(
) Wah, accident ah?
(
) Eh, go buy toto and magnum!
(
) 5 big 5 small, 9394 ar ...
( all ) We ask ourselves, what for?
( all ) Just to note the number plate for a digit win
(pause)
( all ) Public toilets
( all ) Can't live with them
( all ) Yucks!
( all ) Can't live without them
(
) I think I'm gonna poop!
(
) Mummy, mummy! Do you want me to sit or stand on
the toilet seat?
(
) No, no, darling! At home you seat, outside you
stand!
( all ) Malaysians are unclear
( all ) About what goes into where
( all ) A peep into public toilets
(saifudin) AAHHHHH!!!!
( all ) Confirm your worst nightmare
(pause)
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) Malaysians
) We just love to eat
) Uummm ...
) We munch and crunch
) Chomp and chew
) Through a feast of food
) Check out the delicacies!
) We have
) The spiciest
) The sweetest
) Most sour
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) And most bitter of food
) Nasi lemak
) Chappati
) Char kuey teow
) Roti canai
) Satay
) Piling their plates with soooo much food
) Still, they come for more
) For more
) And more
) And MORE!
) Just to get their money's worth
( all ) The results
( all ) From size S to XXL
( all ) XXL to ...
( all ) You get the point?
(
) Obesity
(
) Diabetes
(
) Heart disease
(doopdoop ~ ~ doopdoop ~ ~ tooooot ~~~~)
( all ) But then
( all ) Everywhere we look we see
( all ) Diet pills
( all ) Surgeries
( all ) It doesn't make sense
( all ) Why don't we just exercise?
(pause)
( all ) There's a time in the year
( all ) Where Malaysians behave a little strange
( all ) Yesss! The sales are here!
(laila) MEGASALES!!!
( all ) Yeay!!!
(
) Buy 2 get 1 free!
(
) Shop until you drop!
(
) Run out of money?
(
) Not to worry!
( all ) We have
(aqil ) American Express
(amelia) Visa Card
(intan) Master card
(
) One for every occasion!
(
) Spend, spend, spend
(
) Bills, bills, bills
(
) Enjoy now
( all ) Regret later
(pause)
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(
) Malaysians have a complex that
) Much is more
) Bigger is better
) Taller is terrific!
) Thus, we have
) The tallest Twin Towers
) Wow!!!
) The longest canopy walking
) Really?!!!
) The largest cooking contest
) Nyum… nyum…
) The biggest mooncake
) ~ Gasp ~
) Wait!
) Not forgetting the number of trees planted
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( all
) A hundred thousand trees a minute
) See, we have them all
) If we cannot make it
) To the Guiness Book of Records
) The Malaysian Book of Records will do, thank you!
) Having heard our view
) Won't you say
) Malaysians are
) Peculiar in their nature and behavior?
) However
) These idiosyncrasies
) For better or worse
) In sickness and in health
) Mark us as Malaysians
) As we stamp our identity
) That makes us
) The awesome
) Malaysian Malaysian!
) One heart
) One nation
) 1 Malaysia!!!