Name: The Intensity of a Broken Indigenous Woman Author: Kari Barge- BA-- Social Entrepreneur PO Box 2337 Fort St James, BC V0J1P0 1-(250)996-7627 HOME 1-778-978-1550 CELL www.auroara.ca Pages: 20 Words: 4000 Theme: Indigenous Healing/Restoration/Humanity I heard about this award through mutual poetic circles Thank you! Women in the Web Things have changed We may not be burned at the stake But we are forced to fake… Ourselves. Fear of life, fear of love, fear of death. We are all a fucking mess. My sister died March 2015 from a drug addiction. Until you’ve experienced the heartache, the reality, the sickness It's all just fiction. Scholars bringing it into discourse With their analytical frameworks Quantifying the stories seems to dilute the remorse. And then they try to compact it all neatly into a course. Did you cover your checklist for the academic jargon? Face down, ass up that’s the dialect for those women who May or may not want to get fucked. Systemized oppression, aggression, which is all about Monopolizing fate for the privy to move with the succession. I’m finally free from the pain this colonial empire put me through So here…let me unpack it for you. When a girl is born into a world Where with sexual molestation She could be the one in four. That’s just one form of abuse, there's so much more. What is at the core? The insidious mental abuse That our systems bequeath to us Through forms of juxtaposition About what being female should mean to us If you’re not sexy, you’re not an asset to this society But if you wear that and bend over you’re sacrificing your dignity. Try walking as a vulnerable woman that isn’t protected. Why aren’t we protected? Why are aboriginal women more likely to get molested? You see, when you have no one to vouch For your sanity, the social services treat you like a disease. Maybe your family is all alcoholics So social workers think they can get away with treating you like garbage. No one to say hey that’s my daughter. If no one else is treating her with respect than why should we? Please remind me what is the meaning of being free? I know because it’s been tried and tested So maybe this poem is a little bit of a confession. My anthropological research began when I was one, When an RCMP Staff Sergeant wouldn’t let my dad see me and then raped my mom. This organization that beholds safety for its citizens and yet they protect their own when they fail to withhold from the biggest of sins You think they treat women of 2016 any better? Sorry to seem like an anarchist but this has been a reality for most of my forever. Do you think women that are vulnerable can really trust the very systems that fail us? We fall through the cracks whenever we don’t fit the mold they used to scale us. I’m sorry to say but the doctors aren’t any better Writing prescriptions for paychecks because they blame the person It’s like spraying the garden with poison and then blaming the weather. How about an emotional juxtaposition for you, I hope it sticks. When women are raising in solidarity for feminist movements But they're using the methods of the man’s tricks. When a woman is respected by spectrum of strength and aggression. Because we are told if we listen to our emotions We will all be labeled with depression. Why wouldn’t we weep for our cultures decline? The disconnection from nature and the divine. It’s pretty serious, it just happened to rhyme. Where was I? Oh…an emotional juxtaposition women are forced to walk with. We better pump you full of air but don’t you dare queff. The air is the hatred, the violence, the makeshift acts of solutions that ain’t shit. While the queff is the outpouring of needs that don’t stop piling up. A 14 year old girl is told to sit in her classroom and listen when She just needs to cry but this stranger of a teacher has to follow a scribe. She’s only at school because she needs to hide She stopped eating so maybe she can eat herself from the inside. Then she starts to become a target for those on the outside. Outside of those social parameters of people Who are supposed to protect you. But she’s fallen through the cracks to the Last people you would want to catch you. Human trafficking doesn’t happen here right? Why don’t you ask this woman in your clear sight? Being sold as a virgin and then saved by the same people that didn’t protect my mom when she was raped. Now that’s the reality of juxtaposition I’ve had to face Can you show me the places where the safety of women can truly fit in? Hasn’t there always been a mission after a mission? We have yet to cover spiritual juxtaposition. When you are encouraged to follow your heart, And yet taught That your heart wants all the things that are store bought. Then when you’re ready to sort out your life and find spiritual guidance, You are preached to that it somehow lies outside of you. You need a middleman, someone that you have to rely on that’s credible. Rather than trusting yourself, you have to trust the bible. Or another scripture that promises the ultimate fixer. Please mister Can’t you see, that I was whole before I was 3? But then it was this society that crumbled me to my knees. So why can't you let me go back to that space, with grace Within myself so that I can heal from all that affected me? Restitution of the self is being in the environment needed to heal from the inside out. What women need is a place to just be. And be proud. Loud. And not afraid to step outside of conformity Sacred acts of contempt formulating a new creed. Being against the grain, is the only way to be freed. Because normal people within a sick society Are sick people, indeed. So, what does that say for those that don’t fit in the mess? I hope this poem can make you guess, or second guess. To see how you situate yourself, amongst the rest. Genetic Remember Alli-Ance Let’s talk a little politics and not from a politician Because in aspects of discussion, There can be forms of regression When we hope for change but there’s Cycles of deception We’ve got mountains to climb There’s no room for blame These eyes have cried And I can hardly describe That when I fight for my people I Fight for freedom Who am I fighting for when I’m Metis Am I choosing one side? That can't be There is hope for all mankind To recapture the life before the scribe There could be reasons that we’re scared To get rid of the writings That has dictated our lines of creation Of the way that we think it has to be that life is The only thing I know is. We have to grow Expand Question The dollar and the all mighty man For a second you thought I was talking feminism I’m talking the rulers that think their story is the way It's taken years to say That we’re passive When people would fight for their freedom in the old way People would fight for the freedom to escape the ball and chains Now the ball and chain is invisible No need to fight, its psychological Can you escape the plight? Break free from the chains that you believe Because you can It’s in your mind to decolonize The aspects you thought you hold on to… to survive Your voice matters Your thoughts matter Your beliefs matter But when your beliefs are riddled with narratives handed to you Fed to you With a technological spoon Before you were even a baby that swooned Because they were handed to your mother, your father and your grandparents Intergenerational Happens to everyone, it's not just racial The weight lifted to move forward in a clean system Is to cleanse your own system The fight now is on the inside But it has nothing to do with needing to be prescribed That’s psychological disarray that encompasses our society It’s not about a band-aid Or a manmade disease It’s about honoring that the psyche would be free Clean, clear if you believe In the way that you are wanting to believe If there’s anxiety and depression Stop pointing at your own fingers as though they’re part of the man's sins this can't be It’s like pointing blame at the bee instead of the beekeeper Who’s not allowing it to be free? Maybe your words of wisdom are trapped inside of you Causing the dis-ease These blessings that you hold These gifts that you hold This knowing that you hold Inside That something is not right but you’re caught in a trap that you can’t fight For the freedom That wants to open the door Explore Those inner realms once more That your predecessors were oppressed When they went forth My hope is these things are unlocked Knowing that no one else is going to hold you into a box When you’re the one who holds the key And the box is inside of you It’s you that turns the lock You have to feel safe with that which you can do When our nations are built on stories of apprehension and clout It’s easy to doubt Your impact Or your knowledge Because maybe everybody knows more maybe they hope to explore The way that it was before But they just don’t know Because it’s so convoluted But what if the convolution Is the highway to redemption? What if it’s the path to succession? What if it’s the unity and diversity merged into one? Simultaneously spurring a new set of oneness Could it be freeing hope that ripples through the world? And across the seas That no matter the doubt or the fear or the greed It’ll still succeed Because life is meant to breed Into the most vital evolved seeds Survival of the fittest in this age it’s the one that’s the wittiest Does that wit come from inside or inside of a scribe? Don’t worry about others beliefs that they must fight for their life by choosing strife Follow the you, the new The role that you encapsulate The censorship of hate Marked by freedom Making it a new mandate Something birthed that’s never been birthed before In this technological climax of our explorers we have so much to learn? So much more On How to merge the new with the old and the old with the new The advanced with the traditional, not picking one or the other Extremist views falling away as hybridization uncovers The path of salvation Correspondence by saturation of lactation Lactation of wholeness lactation of the remembrance After the suppression After the oppression Who’s story matters within the worst of sins When we’re fighting for our freedom we don’t have to compare who’s stories Are the most important one in the season? Oppression has happened worldwide It’s important to lift all who’ve cried My heart comes out far and wide Because it’s the sorrow and the pain that has multiplied Who says it has to be this way? Sacrifice, plight, disarray There could be a multitude of programs standing in our way Programs of thought that’s been installed in our DNA Go back to a time before your ancestors died Let your DNA activate what at one time it thought it had to hide to survive. To the Citizens of Kanata To the Citizens of Kanata; Our home and native land Who’s your countries native wo(man)? Is it yours to have? Are we yours to have? The queen beckons the great frontier As the romanticized people of here Are held down in fear Of our power We can dance and perform To your standards of norms As long as you can keep us reigned in To your expectations We are adorned with. You always know we are here And that We’re not going anywhere But somehow you want to chase away The reality that our debt is not cleared Oh more monetary debt you think we are requiring It wouldn’t need to be money if We didn’t have your methodology Infused in this society Everything built off ownership And status Those people following the creed you have built to stay The debt needing to be paid Is our ancestor’s say Their voices heard through retribution of principles Learned Canadian Citizens please see my request is not needy It’s a desire to be freed Stephen Harpers apology falls on deaf ears Because we are still picking up the pieces And it’s going to take years and years We are the ancestors of your future peers The debt paid must be gratification that’s delayed Not some broken promise for fame Stop only taking what you want from us It’s like honoring the art Without acknowledging the artist We are forever robbed of our dignity As you choose which pieces you want of us Suppressing the history that’s still locked in Canada’s dirty little closet Suppressing the bums on the street That showcase the facts at your feet As you put on your collared shirt of progress Through our defeat While our moccasins are more accessible through Chinese factories Because our dreams have been herded Into narrowing feelings They just can’t get over it You say Don’t we all need equal rights as? You already stand much higher than the sand We are sinking in Why are people complaining Don’t they have everything handed to them? They don’t even have to work These are the narratives characterized by Some of your perks You want room for white guilt And privilege context As we forge ahead But only if you are fully willing to listen If you can’t hear our cries Without defending Canada’s lies Then how can we have a dialogue On your own station of demise Our debt That Is still owed Is to stop being sold All your jargon of complicated hope It’s simple Our people are sick As the rich Are increasing their networks That build more momentum to support Their bank cheques That instant gratification way Won’t allow all of our next generations to stay Long-term solutions will Right now our immediate need is to be freed from the Confinement of your system we are all inundated with social conditions If we see them as waterfalls of human vehicular descendant We can change the water source and then Work together for the infrastructures To create a purposeful obstruction Of the elite class benefiting from Suppressing the opposite We focus on the problem and expect a way out The solutions to the problems Is the alternative Focusing our efforts on a right To live Indigenous rights are the way forward To resolve the fights of the less fortunate Canadian Citizens, Our nativeness Is more than a tokenized aspect of our successes We are here and you know it The largest young population and we We will keep on growing Truth and reconciliation is more than A skirted around topic It’s a continuous process for decolonial long standing initiatives. The ecology of all organisms Interweaving for all Nations We must release the dogmatic collisions Forgiving your ancestors decisions We are asking you to be a part of the solution Allies creating truth and accountability friends We are all the revolution. WATERS OF THE EARTH HUMAN Pure distribution Self-Restitution The water is so much more than false retribution; of the state of it. The fate of it Let’s stop denouncing the quality of it As though the mother doesn’t have the power to cleanse its blood. The system is a whole, all systems go! Celebrate, celebrate, celebrate the flow. Purify the waters by encouraging the organs of the earth to flourish March to the beat of stewards! Distribute the wealth Fear of scarcity doesn’t make you stealth. The rich are promoting destitution Through their lack of promotion, devotion, and locomotion Locomotion for change Steer away from incentives of fame. Let all previous aspects of the game Fade away Focus on what we want to stay. Self-Restitution! Both bodies rediscovering their inner child Reconfiguring its original style The conditions of healing transpiring by allowing its own rhythm The progress narrative fading away even though it’s hard to fathom. We cannot fix tomorrow’s problems with yesterday's thinking, Adding more technology to a ship that’s already sinking. Our humanities mark on the world is a matter of blinking. The waters can clear All it takes is for us to stop wanting to steer The most crucial piece to address is fear. Fear within self Cleanse it away with the waters For longevity of health You’ll notice that the lines of differentiation Start to meld. The lines of the earth body and the human body running parallel Let’s rise, empower and grow together The health status an ascending stairwell. Striving for thriving No matter the weather When the waters are swelling, Like the breast of the woman Like the heart of the woman Like the womb of the woman May the storms be embraced, faced, never disgraced No matter the pace So I guess this leads me to say: Everything is going to be okay! Protect the water as though it’s your own blood The wisdom of emotions cleanse the past If we Just let them flood. Indoctri-Nation Walking the halls am I the only one? What makes me not turn and run? Story behind the eyes bequeathed to me Does my lens shatter me or make me? Always finding proof of my perception Gathered within my realms of recollection Dare discriminate what my past leaves me? How does it outline my trajectory? Linear thinking trying to turn caterpillars into butterflies Or is it a box trying to cage my wings from flight? Am I the only one who sees it? Please show me the walls where my soul fits. Left or right, right or left Which paradigm defines me best? Make me, make me Now you want to break me To your level But I’ll never Forsake me. If you see what I see And I see what you see Then where is our divinity? How far do I push the mold? Past the lines foretold Critical thinking, they say? Yet we’re limited within the systems of today. Regurgitation at its finest Do I thank you, your highness? Learning colonization while being institutionalized Match your bias to your favorite biased. Language limiting our velocity Imagination squelched by animosity Performing our rights to singularity After we prove our solidarity. Unity cascaded by righteousness Elitists forming social hype fits. The infamous “theysayers” say What the “hearsayers” need to be freed from their naiveté. Glorification enveloping the privy. Hastened to categorize and conceptualize While everyone else is just trying to survive Statistics say I shouldn’t be here So, as you deliver your lecture about people like me Who’ve had these experiences And I want to agree or disagree But the faces around me are filled with disbelief So, I quiet my story and I fill up my page Like another outsider looking upon the stage. I devise an assimilative disguise Of the chapters behind my eyes And I ask you… How do I do what I’m told When I can see it so clearly? Like a fly on the wall Determined not to get stuck in the web So, I crawl It gets lonely out here As I peer At the fear That the world can’t escape. But I offer my embrace As I race To get in line for the days When we can say That perception is grey And that’s great. Circumference of Kindness Intersectionality breeds Canada’s seeds On a country formed by taking away the aboriginal needs Now they’re freed Or are they? What do people always say? They get tax breaks and fake their ailments The devastation can’t be fathomed and it sure wasn’t stalemates It’s good to be proud to be here But it’s important to make choices of love over fear Being Canadian is a blessing many never experience We have to consider that and no longer pretend Educate Face the hate Relate When the history is still swept under the rug As Canada’s Dirty little secret The rugs been leaking and they can't hide that now they are weakened They came claiming to fix their sins While creating more mess to walk in That isn’t god or pure or what’s wanted by “heaven” People always say they should just get over it It happens to every race and every place At least that’s what people always say Let's analyze the truth Statistics are easy to find of suicides by youth I’m not trying to be in your face We need to stop and relate Why does it happen for the Indigenous more? There must be a common denominator spread all over What facts do we need to explore? No matter what we add, subtract and multiply It remains the same It’s shame That’s forced on for another’s gain Trauma healing is here to alleviate And with time and commitment it will succeed We must be coming together in more ways than to just breed My intersectionality comes from way more than just native and white it comes from the cross sections of variables that arose my need to fight crossroads of plight. Are not always in clear sight You have no idea of when and how and why Others have needed to show their might Going to school attending classes with The rest and no faces around could Fathom what happened just last night. I don’t know what else to say I'm trying my hardest In a structure devised for those who want to strive the farthest In a standardized culture that my intersections don’t match up They clash rough I speak up in class fearing no one will relate If I debate Then I feel I may or may not be safe I race From the pedagogical normative practices of late What are my intersectionalities? Or are they all fallacies? Narratives derived to peg my experiences as contrived? Are they a lie? Creatively exploring identity Empowerment I don’t know where I fit within it I’m seeking When I feel vulnerable am I a weakling? These spaces created, are they matching Or have we suppressed it? Maybe it’s my job to know it's not aggressive to assert my knowledge of years of transgressions. I can't help think of those without voices So why wouldn’t I share for the purpose of progressions? My hope is to be in a place that’s just right And my fear is that there’s no place that’s just right Does that place even exist? Must I continue to persist? Do I even want to fit on some list? Maybe my fear is that I will be misunderstood Slammed down for trying to spread a message of love In a culture that honors rising above Okay here’s the love, why be ashamed I don’t want profits or have motives of fame I want the unity that so strategically aims To move people together And honors by name It’s everyone’s commitment. Hey it was my ancestors not me Well when the luxuries you face were based on dis-ease Please see We all must move together, no one falling behind Next time you just want to stay blind Choose to see the way things are and be kind You can free AND be freed Circumference of kindness We can rewind this We are all people breathing towards death In our movies of life, we are all different With main actors and factors that make you second guess The reason we are here Is it for love or fear? Or competition Fact is, it's what you choose There’s no right or wrong answer I can give It’s your choice to know if there’s a win or a fail At the end when you breathe That last exhale.
