Behavioral Science
To Inspire Your Team, Share More of Yourself
HBR Staff; csaimages.com; David Trood/Getty Images
Summary. It was once believed that scrubbing notions of the self from presentations and regulating emotions
at all cost was key to being perceived as an effective leader. However, it’s becoming increasingly clear that in
order to inspire people to follow you, sharing...more
My client, let’s call him Karl, was struggling to motivate his team. Karl came across as
mildly stern even when smiling, and his presentational style in team meetings was
clinical and measured. One-on-one, Karl was known to be a good listener and thoughtful
boss, but in large forums, he tended to freeze, defaulting to offering quick solutions or
doubling down on the company line when presented with complicated questions instead
of taking time to share his own perspective. The result? His audience felt he was formal
and lacked authenticity, and his employees gave him low marks for his ability to inspire.
It was once believed that scrubbing notions of the self from presentations and regulating
emotions at all cost was key to being perceived as an effective leader. However, it’s
becoming increasingly clear that in order to inspire people to follow you, sharing
personal stories with vulnerability, humor, and humility allows audiences to see you as
human and thus be inspired by you.
The reason? Telling personal stories helps lead to more trust in
relationships. Research tracks three key drivers of trust: authenticity, logic, and
empathy. We tend to trust people who we believe are acting as their real selves and
demonstrating empathy. Increasing realness and humanity by sharing personal stories
is one powerful way to build that trust.
Luckily, connecting more personally in this way is a teachable skill. The following four
steps will help you add humanity to your presentations and increase your team’s
inspiration.
Cultivate your top three stories about failure.
Stories of failure help us relate, normalize setbacks, and create intimacy. When they end
with a lesson in resiliency, they galvanize audiences to keep going. Karl took a risk in his
most recent leadership team meeting by sharing a critical mistake he had made in front
of a well-respected colleague. This helped normalize risk taking and earned him several
private notes of gratitude for his vulnerable share. Write down your top three stories of
failure and think of venues where you could safely share them in the coming weeks.
Incorporate vulnerability in real time.
Research shows that when we think back on leaders who took time to build emotional
resonance with us, our brains show increased positive emotion and social connection. As
you respond to questions in real time, find quick and easy ways of inserting your
vulnerability. Tag your statements with phrases like “my feeling is,” “it feels scary to
share this,” or “I hesitated to bring this forward” — they peel back the curtain on your
thinking and build a connection with your audience.
Share what’s top of mind for you.
Karl now starts his monthly all-staff meetings with a personal story about something
that has been impacting him that also relates to the larger world, current events, or
business. These stories are not always positive, but he has been getting feedback about
how they’re appreciated and make people feel close to him. By spending a few minutes
ahead of time to prepare his story and jot down notes, he has been able to incorporate
more warmth and authenticity into meetings he leads.
Study inspiring stories from others.
Watch your favorite TED Talks and listen to podcasts to collect cues on how powerful
and persuasive strangers share stories to inspire. When do you feel most connected?
What did the speaker do and share that helped lead to a feeling of authenticity and
human connection? Note your favorite techniques and practice incorporating them into
your daily speech for low-stakes practice.
By incorporating more personal storytelling into your presentations, you will be able to
quickly connect with larger and larger audiences to get your message across. As you
become more real, accessible, and inspiring, business outcomes will improve, and
people will feel like they have permission to share their own stories. After practicing his
new techniques for a few months, Karl received feedback that he was seen as more
accessible by junior members of the organization, and his team felt more connected to
the overall vision of the group. Leaders who take steps to break down walls of stoicism
and let audiences see the human behind a business-focused front will create better
followership.