Name______________________________
Ms. Stith
English II
Period_____
Date____________________
Essay Organizer
PROMPT After reading Oedipus the King and other texts, write an essay in which you explain the
specific way that fate was represented and the role that it played in the play. Argue whether or not
Oedipus was in control of his life.
1. Thesis: A good thesis statement is essential for writing a good essay because:
• It provides a simple and concise embedded question or clear idea in one sentence that will then be
answered or addressed concisely with proof throughout the essay.
• It is arguable
• It forces the writer to think before writing the essay exactly what the essay will include and seek to
prove.
• It allows the writing of topic sentences that fully respond to and explain the thesis.
2. A good thesis includes:
• The author’s name __________________________
• The title of the work (in italics or underlined) ___________________________
• A simple, yet meaningful, answer to the question of the prompt. “So, what?”
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3. Examples:
• Bad: In Sophocles’ play, Oedipus the King, Oedipus finds out that he was adopted and he has
killed his biological father and married his biological mother. (This is a fact from the play, but it
doesn’t answer the prompt and doesn’t connect to the idea about fate.)
• Good: In Sophocles’ play, Oedipus the King, Teiresias, the blind prophet, is one of many
representations of fate and clearly tells Oedipus that he is not truly in control of his own life.
(This thesis statement answers both parts of the question (How is fate represented, is Oedipus
in control?) and gives the reader an idea of where you are going in your essay.)
Thesis Feedback Handout
Directions: For each number below, write a possible thesis statement you could use in your essay. For
now, ignore the lines with checkmarks.
Each Thesis statement should:
•
•
•
Include the necessary three elements
Answer the question about how fate is represented
Answer whether or not Oedipus is in control of his own life
When you are finished, trade with a peer and give them feedback on their thesis statements on the lines
with the checkmarks. Consider these questions when you are offering feedback:
•
•
How could they improve the thesis statement?
Does it address the “So What” question?
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✓ ______________________________________________________________________________
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2. ______________________________________________________________________________
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✓ ______________________________________________________________________________
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3. ______________________________________________________________________________
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✓ ______________________________________________________________________________
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Writing the Introduction
The purpose of writing a good introduction to your essay is to grab your reader's attention and to begin to layout what
you have to say about fate, how it is portrayed, and whether or not Oedipus has any control in his life in this play.
•
How will you introduce Oedipus and his backstory to your reader?
•
How will you introduce the obstacles and experiences Oedipus goes through to the reader?
•
How will you identify fate in the play? How will explain how it is represented?
Your introduction should have within it what you'll be explaining to your reader about your character at greater length,
using supportive evidence, in the body of your essay. One way to write an introduction is to open or close your
introductory paragraph with your thesis statement. In the following examples the thesis statement is highlighted.
Example #1: Opening with thesis statement
In Lorraine Hansberry’s A Raisin in the Sun, Beneatha is the perfect example of a character who
struggles against racism and sexism as she attempts to fulfill her ambitions. When this play was written
(1959), American society was on the brink of major cultural and historical upheavals as the civil rights and
women’s movements began to gain momentum. African Americans began fighting for civil rights and women
began questioning their roles as second-class citizens. In many ways, the civil rights and women’s movements
exposed how the so-called “American Dream” was not open to all people equally. Stereotypes about what African
Americans and women were capable of often kept Blacks and women from pursuing and achieving their ambitions
to rise above being menial servants or housekeepers.
Example #2: Closing with thesis statement
When A Raisin in the Sun was written (1959), American society was on the brink of major cultural and
historical upheavals as the civil rights and women’s movements began to gain momentum. African Americans
began fighting for civil rights and women began questioning their roles as second-class citizens. In many ways, the
civil rights and women’s movements exposed how the so-called “American Dream” was not open to all people
equally. Stereotypes about what African Americans and women were capable of often kept Blacks and women
from pursuing and achieving their ambitions to rise above being menial servants or housekeepers. In Lorraine
Hansberry’s A Raisin in the Sun, Beneatha is the perfect example of a character who struggles against racism
and sexism as she attempts to fulfill her ambitions.
Example #3: Provocative lead-in question(s)
Have you ever known someone who goes after whatever they want? Is this person someone who doesn’t
care what society says is appropriate or acceptable for them to be or do? Sometimes stereotypes about what certain
races or genders are capable of can limit what people attempt to achieve. However, other times, stereotypes can be
challenged. In Lorraine Hansberry’s A Raisin in the Sun, Beneatha is the perfect example of a character who
struggles against racism and sexism as she attempts to fulfill her ambitions.
Finally, here are some other ways to begin your essay:
•Lead off with a quotation from the play or from an authority which leads into your thesis statement. "In
his Introduction to A Raisin in the Sun, Robert Nemiroff (Lorraine Hansberry’s husband) says, “the play
presaged the revolution in black and women’s consciousness.”
•Make a provocative statement: "It is often the role of young people to question authority and the status
quo."
•Begin with a metaphor: "Imagine a well cared-for plant that has been nurtured and loved, but is actually
being threatened from blossoming because of weeds and worms that are eating away at its roots.
Beneatha’s ambitions for the future are similar to this threatened plant
YOU SHOULD NEVER USE “I” IN YOUR ESSAY OR SAY, “IN MY ESSAY I WILL PROVE”.
Your introductory paragraph should include:
1) Hook: Description, illustration, narration or dialogue that pulls the reader into your paper topic. This should be
interesting and specific. Look at the examples provided. (highlight or underline in purple)
2) Transition: Sentence that connects the hook with the thesis. This is where you provide background, introduce the
characters and identify the play and author. (highlight or underline in green)
3) Thesis: Sentence (or two) that summarizes the overall main point of the paper. The thesis should answer the prompt
question. (highlight or underline in red/pink)
4) Forecast: A
sentence or sentences indicating the subtopics or subdivisions of support that will follow, in the
order in which they will appear. (highlight or underline in blue) [Sometimes number three and four can be
combined into one, in that case you still need to highlight the different parts.]
Introduction:
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Transition: You need to build context for the
reader. Is there any background knowledge
the reader needs before going further?
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Do you have a clear thesis statement?
You need to create a road map for
your reader. Make sure the reader
knows what you are claiming!
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Common Transitional Words and Phrases
Ways to transition between opening sentences and the thesis:
•
Include portions of the prompt in your answer.
•
This (situation, case, example) illustrates the point that…
•
In the novel, the reader learns...
•
[Character’s Name] acts/says/is...
•
A main point in the novel is...
•
This (situation, case, example) is an example of the problem of…
•
Today…
•
The author states…
Ways to transition between body paragraphs:
•
One of the most important reasons why…
•
In other words…
is…
•
Next…
•
Another point is…
•
Nevertheless…
•
Similarly…
•
On the other hand…
•
Also…
•
However…
•
Moreover…
•
Consequently…
•
Likewise…
•
This event shows/proves/explains…
•
In addition…
•
Because of this…
•
Furthermore…
•
This image conveys/represents/reveals…
•
Another example of this is…
•
His/her words/dialogue conveys/reveals…
•
Besides…
•
The author includes this in the story to
•
In fact…
show…
Ways to transition from body paragraphs to the conclusion:
•
All things considered…
•
For the most part…
•
Finally…
•
As shown above…
•
Lastly…
•
Given these points…
•
Thus…
•
Usually…
•
As a result…
•
After all…
•
Obviously…
•
Therefore…
•
Clearly…
•
Overall…
Body Paragraphs – PARAGRAPH 1
Topic Sentence (1):
Says (2)
Means (3)
Matters (4)
Says (5)
Means (6)
Matters (7)
Says (8)
Means (9)
Matters (10)
Topic Sentence (1):
Concluding Sentence (11):
Body Paragraphs –
PARAGRAPH 2
Says (2)
Means (3)
Matters (4)
Says (5)
Means (6)
Matters (7)
Says (8)
Means (9)
Matters (10)
Concluding Sentence (11):
Body Paragraphs – PARAGRAPH 3
Topic Sentence (1):
Says (2)
Means (3)
Matters (4)
Says (5)
Means (6)
Matters (7)
Says (8)
Means (9)
Matters (10)
Concluding Sentence (11):
Body Paragraphs – PARAGRAPH 4 (Optional)
Topic Sentence (1):
Says (2)
Means (3)
Matters (4)
Says (5)
Means (6)
Matters (7)
Says (8)
Means (9)
Matters (10)
Concluding Sentence (11):
Conclusion:
Remember to restate
or review your thesis
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Make sure
you
summarize
your main
points and
provide a
broader
meaning.
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Leave
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your
reader
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with
something
to think
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about.
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If a thesis is a road map to a paper, then a topic sentence is a guide to a paragraph. Therefore, you should think of topic sentences as kinds of mini-theses,
organizing and enabling the development of each paragraph in a paper. Each paragraph should have its own topic sentence and should focus on only one main
idea or point. Every time you move into a new idea, you need a new paragraph and a new topic sentence (Adapted from
http://www.english.ucla.edu/TA/hyperteach/PDFs/topic_sent.pdf by Derek Pacheco)
Good Example (of a clear, effective, and obvious topic sentence): Burnout is a potential problem for hardworking and persevering students to fight. A
preliminary step for preventing student burnout is for students to work in moderation. Students can concentrate on school every day, if they don’t overtax
themselves. One method students can use is to avoid concentrating on a single project for an extended period. For example, if students have to read two books
for a midterm history test, they should do other assignments at intervals so that the two books will not get boring. Another means to moderate a workload is to
regulate how many BCCC Tutoring Center extracurricular projects to take on. When a workload is manageable, a student’s immunity to burnout is strengthened.
—Bradley Howard, student (Troyka and Hesse 86)
Sentence Starters
Explanation
SAYS
What the quote actually says.
(with the citation)
This is where you write the actual quote
from the text. Don’t forget to punctuate
correctly.
MEANS
What does the author mean? What is he/she
trying to say?
This is where you paraphrase and write
what the author means in your own words.
This helps the reader digest (thoroughly
comprehend) the quote.
MATTERS
Why does this quote matter?
Why is it important?
This is where you explain why this
quote matters, why it’s significant,
why people should care, and/or why it
supports your claim.
The author claims that, “…
The quote is reinforcing the idea of…
An examination of this quote reveals…
In the author’s words, “…
The quote clarifies why the…
This quote models the author’s use of…
The author plainly asserts, “…
In this quote, the author/character proposes …
This highlights…
The author suggests, “…
This quote defines …
The author recommends, “…
This quote examines …
The author points out, “…
The character notes, “…
The character says, “…
The character states, “…
This quote expresses …
With this quote…
This represents…
This quote reminds the reader that…
This emphasizes…
This quote is significant because…
This quote is noteworthy because …
This quote underlines…
Scoring
Elements
Not Yet
1
Approaches Expectations
1.
5
2
Meets Expectations
2.
5
3
Advanced
3.
5
4
Attempts to address prompt,
but lacks focus or is off-task.
Addresses prompt appropriately,
but with a weak or uneven focus.
Addresses prompt appropriately
and maintains a clear, steady focus.
Addresses all aspects of prompt
appropriately and maintains a strongly
developed focus.
Attempts to establish a
controlling idea, but lacks a
clear purpose.
Establishes a controlling idea with
a general purpose.
Establishes a controlling idea with
a clear purpose maintained
throughout the response.
Establishes a strong controlling idea with
a clear purpose maintained throughout
the response.
Reading/
Research
Attempts to present
information in response to the
prompt, but lacks connections
or relevance to the purpose of
the prompt.
Presents information from
reading materials relevant to the
purpose of the prompt with minor
lapses in accuracy or
completeness.
Presents information from reading
materials relevant to the prompt
with accuracy and sufficient detail.
Accurately presents information relevant
to all parts of the prompt with effective
selection of sources and details from
reading materials
Development
Attempts to provide details in
response to the prompt,
including retelling, but lacks
sufficient development or
relevancy.
Presents appropriate details to
support the focus and controlling
idea.
Presents appropriate and sufficient
details to support the focus and
controlling idea.
Presents thorough and detailed
information to strongly support the focus
and controlling idea.
Attempts to organize ideas, but
lacks control of structure.
Uses an appropriate
organizational structure to
address the specific requirements
of the prompt, with some lapses in
coherence or awkward use of the
organizational structure
Maintains an appropriate
organizational structure to address
the specific requirements of the
prompt.
Maintains an organizational structure that
intentionally and effectively enhances the
presentation of information as required by
the specific prompt.
Attempts to demonstrate
standard English conventions,
but lacks cohesion and control
of grammar, usage, and
mechanics. Sources are used
without citation.
Demonstrates an uneven
command of standard English
conventions and cohesion. Uses
language and tone with some
inaccurate, inappropriate, or
uneven features. Inconsistently
cites sources.
Demonstrates a command of
standard English conventions and
cohesion, with few errors.
Response includes language and
tone appropriate to the audience,
purpose, and specific requirements
of the prompt. Cites sources using
an appropriate format with only
minor errors.
Demonstrates and maintains a welldeveloped command of standard English
conventions and cohesion, with few
errors. Response includes language and
tone consistently appropriate to the
audience, purpose, and specific
requirements of the prompt. Consistently
cites sources using an appropriate format.
Attempts to include disciplinary
content in explanations, but
understanding of content is
weak; content is irrelevant,
inappropriate, or inaccurate.
Briefly notes disciplinary content
relevant to the prompt; shows
basic or uneven understanding of
content; minor errors in
explanation.
Accurately presents disciplinary
content relevant to the prompt
with sufficient explanations that
demonstrate understanding.
Integrates relevant and accurate
disciplinary content with thorough
explanations that demonstrate in-depth
understanding.
Focus
Controlling
Idea
Organization
Conventions
Content
Understanding