TOXIC FRIENDSHIPS Real friends are hard to come by, but for those who have had even one true friend in their life, they likely know how lucky they are. Unfortunately, there are times when friendships can drain the life out of you. Toxic friendships come in many forms, but the underlying truth remains: these friendships do not have our best interest at heart, can be harmful on many levels, and should be addressed before it goes past the point of no return. Real friendships are not perfect. They come with uncomfortable moments, disagreements, and even arguments. These kinds of rough patches have nothing to do with the overall health of the friendship if the problems are infrequent and resolved swiftly and with care. Toxic friendships, however, never seem to go smoothly and drama prevails. So, you may be wondering, how do I recognize if I have a toxic friendship? You may need to take a magnifying glass to your friendships to ask yourself if you find yourself feeling manipulated, untrusting, unsupported, or uncomfortable. Florence Isaacs, author of Toxic Friends/True Friends says, “There has to be a balance in friendship for it to be healthy — not one person whose needs get met and another whose needs are overlooked.” This is a give and take relationship, and when a friend is focussed only on themselves or if they have a vested interest in bringing out the worst in you, it might be time to say goodbye. If you find yourself in a toxic friendship, you may have to consider whether or not the friendship is worth salvaging. Begin with open, clear communication, and set boundaries to protect your own well being. If the person cares about you, they will work to repair the damage, but there are times when people cannot - or will not change. In those circumstances, it is often best to move on and focus your energy on the friendships that lift you up. TOP 5 TYPES OF TOXIC FRIENDS 65% The Narcissist 59% The Downer 55% The Critic The Underminer The Flake 45% 37% © Presto Plans TOXIC FRIENDSHIPS After reading the nonfiction piece, complete the tasks below using text evidence where appropriate. Name: _____________________________________________________ Identify what solutions the author presents for people who find themselves in toxic friendships. Share one more solution you would suggest. Date ___________________________ Summarize the article in one sentence. Create your own definitions for the 5 types of toxic friends listed in the graph. Explain the symbolism of the “FRIEND” image at the bottom of the page. Create a scenario where you would need the support of a friend. Choose one of the types of toxic friendships and explain how that type of friend might react. Then, contrast that with a supportive friend. Scenario: Toxic Friend: Supportive Friend: © Presto Plans TOXIC FRIENDSHIPS After reading the nonfiction piece, complete the tasks below using text evidence where appropriate. Name: _____________________________________________________ Identify what solutions the author presents for people who find themselves in toxic friendships. Share one more solution you would suggest. The solutions presented in this article include communicating the issue openly, setting clear boundaries, and reflecting on whether or not the friendship is worth salvaging. Possible student suggestions: - Find a trusted adult or counselor to sit down with you both to discuss your friendship. - Take a break from a friendship to determine if you want to continue being their friend. - Join a new sport or club to help expose you to new people and to create some distance between yourself and your toxic friend. Explain the symbolism of the “FRIEND” image at the bottom of the page. The friend image at the bottom of the page is made up of the word enemy. This symbolizes the fact that some relationships may appear to be friendships from the outside, but if you examine them more closely, there may be negative elements within. Date ___________________________ Summarize the article in one sentence. It is important to be aware of the signs of toxic friendships and to take steps to protect yourself from being in one. Create your own definitions for the 5 types of toxic friends listed in the graph. *Answers may vary The Narcissist: This friend is obsessed with themselves. They have the power to turn any situation or problem about you into something about them. The Downer: This friend is always complaining and focusing on the negative side of things. They find it tough to celebrate any positive times with you. The Critic: This friend is always pointing out your faults. They take every opportunity to tear you down. The Underminer: This friend is always trying to weaken your points and make themselves look better to others. They make you feel inferior. The Flake: This friend is never there for you when you need them. They constantly cancel plans and leave you stranded. Create a scenario where you would need the support of a friend. Choose one of the types of toxic friendships and explain how that type of friend might react. Then, contrast that with a supportive friend. Scenario: *Answers may vary You do badly on a math test that you prepared for and are really upset about it. Toxic Friend: When you tell this friend, they tell you that you should have studied more. They tell you that they know you were on social media last night because you sent them messages, so it was clearly your own fault. Supportive Friend: When you tell this friend, they tell you that it was a difficult test and that many people didn’t do well. They suggest you both go to the teacher together for extra help and that you two study together for the next quiz. © Presto Plans