You’ve probably heard that you should hold strong eye contact before reading this book. But did
that advice lead to an actual change?
Learning that a particular behavior is attractive is only useful if you have a way to implement
that behavior into your life. I’ve heard that I should eat more vegetables thousands of times, but
knowing something is bene cial isn’t enough
There is a wide gap between intellectually understanding a concept and implementing that
concept into your life. That’s where this chapter comes in.
There are three keys to turning the theory you learn into practical results
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Spend 80% of your time taking action and only 20% learning theory. If you’re watching
videos about how to attract women 10 hours per week without approaching any girls in
the real world, the theory you’re consuming will become more of a burden than anything
else.
Write eld reports. When you think about your past interactions with women and what
you could have done differently, the concepts you’re learning about gain gravity. It’s one
thing to have an amorphous idea that you should be holding strong eye-contact. It’s
another to think about to that girl who saw you nervously look away, and then she walked
off. Field reports give you emotional leverage to enact the advice that you learn
elsewhere.
Practice at-home exercises. The key to making any change is awareness. If you read
somewhere that you should speak with passion, you might try implementing that advice
for the next day or two, but you’re most likely going to forget about the idea entirely
within a week. When you do at-home exercises, you’re ensuring that you remain
consciously aware of whatever it is you’re practicing. For example, when I made a habit
of spending two minutes per day working on my body language, I started noticing
throughout the day whenever I was slouching, and I would quickly adjust my posture.
Just spending two minutes per day on something helped me improve my posture at all
times. The same holds true for working on your eye contact, your vocal tonality, or
anything else. If you just spend a few minutes on these exercises per day, they will make
you more charismatic for your entire life.
The Exercise
The following exercises will help you communicate in a way that is extremely attractive to
women. It’s not an exaggeration to say that simply holding intense eye contact with a woman can
make her feel sexually aroused.
These exercises are powerful, and they can radically change the way women react to you.
However, there are two disclaimers you should be aware of
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You don’t need to practice these exercises to get laid. Yes, learning how to speak with
passion, hold intense eye contact, and cultivate an effortless wit will improve your
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attractiveness. However, I’ve met men who do amazingly well with women even though
they speak with a monotone voice and have a posture that makes them look like The
Hunchback of Notre Dame. Working on your nonverbal (and verbal) communication will
bene t you, but doing these exercises is pointless if you’re not taking action in the real
world. At-home exercises are supplemental, they can help improve the results you get
when you approach women, but if you’re not taking action in the rst place, don’t
practice these as a type of productive procrastination.
2. These exercises are only useful if you practice them repeatedly. Don’t expect noticeable
results until you’ve done one of them ve times or more. To get the best effect, add the
exercises you choose to do to your calendar, at least three days per week. Set a reminder
on your Smartphone. And if you’re doing multiple exercises, do them back-to-back, so
it’s easier to turn doing them into a habit.
The exercises in this chapter fall into two categories: verbal and nonverbal. If you want to get
better at thinking of interesting things to say when you’re talking to a girl, the free-association
exercises will help you. If you want to improve your vocal tonality, eye contact, or body
language, the nonverbal exercises will help you.
Body Languag
High-status body language is de ned by a willingness to take up space, unhesitant movement,
expressive gesticulation, and animated facial expressions
In contrast, when someone believes they have low status, their body language becomes
closed(arms crossed, holding a drink against their chest), they touch their face and neck, and
their gestures and facial expressions are reserved
These differences are guidelines rather than hard rules (IE sometimes, a high-status person will
put their hands in their pockets or cross their arms).
Pay attention to your overall pattern of behavior rather than isolated examples of low status
versus high-status body language. If you notice yourself in the above description of low-status
body language, conscious practice can help you improve your nonverbal communication over
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The Exercise
Take two minutes to walk around your house while exaggerating your body-language to look as
con dent as possible.
Spend at least some of this time looking in the mirror (to make sure your body language looks
good). Your shoulders should look relaxed (not raised), your neck should be straight, and if it
helps, you can imagine an invisible string pulling your body up from the center of your head.
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While doing this practice, walk around, sit down, etc., all while focusing on having a con dent
posture. The point is to spend two minutes while entirely concentrating your attention on having
high-status body language.
If you’re unsure what your body language should look like, study examples from lms and
popular culture (like Brad Pitt in Troy or Fight Club and Daniel Craig in James Bond).
Look at how these high-status men carry themselves and do your best to replicate aspects of this
in your daily practice. Don’t attempt to be a copy of one particular person, simply nd points of
inspiration from men who exude con dence in the way they carry themselves
When working on your body language in this way, it is crucial to understand that you may get
worse before you get better.
Changing your body language can lead to a temporary increase in self-consciousness. “Is what
I’m doing weird? Are people judging me?” But if you persist through the initial discomfort, the
changes will become natural to you, and you will begin to notice people responding to you in an
increasingly positive way
When you do this exercise repeatedly, you’ll become more aware of what your body language is
like throughout the day. You’ll notice that you’re often slouching or your shoulders are raised,
etc. Because of this awareness, you’ll be able to correct your posture, until your old bad posture
habits are replaced by new good posture habits.
You can also improve your body language by lifting weights and doing Yoga. Exercising will not
only make you more physically attractive, but it will also make you aware of your body language
and teach you good posture
Eye Contac
Holding eye contact with someone creates pressure —when that pressure becomes too great, we
look away.
This pressure we experience is an emotional representation of our desire to show submission.
That’s why holding strong eye contact is a powerful sign of high status.
The power of eye contact cannot be overestimated, mastering this will create many opportunities
with the women you meet. One scienti c study gave opposite-sex strangers the task of staring
into each other’s eyes for four minutes straight. Afterward, the participants reported they
experienced feelings of deep love for their partners in the study.
In fact, two of these total strangers ended up getting married
After holding deep eye-contact with a woman, I’ve heard comments like, “We shouldn’t be left
in a room together,” and, “I haven’t felt butter ies like that in years.”
Eye contact alone can turn a woman on.
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There are two factors that make eye contact attractive: duration and intensity
Duration
If you don’t hold eye-contact long enough, you will appear nervous, and therefore, low status. If,
on the other hand, you hold eye-contact for too long, you will be unnervingly intense
A great rule of thumb to make your eye-contact strong–but not creepy–is to hold eye contact
until the girl looks away
When she looks away, you can look away for a moment, too.
By holding eye-contact slightly longer than she does, you’re ensuring that your eye contact will
be strong, but not too strong
Intensit
The eyes act as a conduit for emotions. If you see fear in someone’s eyes, you will feel fear. If
you see con dence in someone’s eyes, you will feel at ease. And most importantly, if you see
desire in someone’s eyes, you will feel desire
Eye-contact is only as powerful as the intention behind it. When I’m meeting an attractive
woman’s gaze, there is clear sexual intent in my eyes – I feel it, she feels it.
It might sound strange, but I’m basically thinking, “I want you.” as I hold eye-contact. This
feeling of desire transfers from me to her
This technique is so powerful because it’s subtle. You’re not saying that you like the girl, you’re
remaking her feel it on a primal, subconscious level.
Strong eye contact is an aphrodisiac; it’s probably the one adjustment you can make to your
game that will have the biggest impact (in terms of creating attraction)
So, how do you practice eye contact? Frankly, there’s no way to do this that isn’t a bit dorky. But
I don’t care whether a practice is dorky, all that matters to me is whether it’s effective
There is one exercise, in particular, that is powerful for improving your eye contact
Stare at yourself while looking into the mirror, and do your best to avoid looking away.
I know this sounds strange, but it’s effective.
The purposes of this exercise are twofold: 1. To make holding strong eye-contact an automatic
habit and 2. To make you more aware of your eye contact throughout the day
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By practicing holding eye contact with yourself, you teach yourself that it’s normal to hold
intense eye contact with others. Even though you’re technically staring at yourself in the mirror,
you’re training the same mental muscle when you do this exercise as when you are holding eye
contact with a cute girl. The more comfortable you get at holding your own gaze, the more
comfortable you’ll be making eye contact with women
Secondly, practicing this exercise will cause you to become more aware of your eye contact.
Throughout the day, you’ll notice when you look away from someone too early, and this
awareness will lead you to hold stronger eye contact over time.
You can also use this exercise to practice altering the intensity at which you hold eye contact.
Because you can see yourself in the mirror, you’ll know exactly what your gaze looks like, and
you can experiment with making it more intense, friendly, etc
I have found that doing this does, in-fact, have a substantial impact on the way you use eye
contact in the real world and can help you create intensity and sexual tension in your interactions
with women.
Vocal Tonalit
The tonality of your voice can communicate that you are a con dent, high-status guy.
It can also reveal that you are insecure and feel unworthy of the girl you’re talking to.
The sound of your voice re ects how you feel about yourself—it can either be a powerful asset
or a terrible liability
What makes a voice attractive
More than anything, it’s the emotions it projects: dominance, positivity, passion, and enthusiasm
are all attractive in a voice, whereas submissiveness, apathy, sadness, and reactiveness are all
unattractive
Here is a speci c breakdown of the qualities of an attractive voice
Breaking rapport
Men often speak in a voice that rises in pitch towards the end of sentences when interacting with
attractive women; this is called seeking rapport. This mode of speaking is very reactive, you’re
making your voice extra friendly to try to make yourself likable
When you speak in a seeking rapport tonality, you’re sub-communicating that you see yourself
as having lower status than the person you’re interacting with
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If your vocal pitch remains the same throughout your sentences, you’re speaking in neutral
rapport. Neutral rapport isn’t inherently unattractive, but it risks sounding monotone, which is
unengaging
If your vocal pitch goes down towards the end of your sentences, you’re speaking in breaking
rapport. This is attractive to women because it indicates that you’re not reacting to the girl:
you’re asserting yourself without hesitation
Passion
A lot of men speak without injecting any emotion into their voice. This makes them sound
robotic.
Put simply, an emotionless voice is like noise, whereas a passionate voice is like music.
Attracting women is all about sharing emotions, and your voice is one of the most powerful tools
you have to do that with
Pauses
Pauses build tension. If you speak without pauses it will quickly feel like you’re trying to
bulldoze over the other person instead of having a real conversation involving two people which
will make the other person feel uncomfortable. (Did you notice why that sentence was hard to
read?
Pauses can also get the girl to invest more in her interaction with you. If you hold a pause for a
few seconds, she will feel an urge to ll in the silence by asking you a question.
In general, the more the girl invests in the conversation, the less she’ll feel like you’re a guy
trying to get in her pants, and the more she’ll feel like she’s the one pursuing you
Varied tonality and rhythm
When someone speaks with a monotone voice, we tune out because it feels like we’re reading
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Speaking with a variety of tones will make you much more engaging. A new tonality perks up
our attention because it’s unexpected—it adds variety and richness to your conversation
Varying the rate of your speaking between slow and fast will also make your voice more
interesting to listen to.
Rhythm is especially useful for emphasizing important points (by speaking slower). Also, if you
generally talk too fast, you’ll make women feel that you’re nervous.
If this is the case, slowing your voice down will make you substantially more attractive
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A Deep Voice
If your voice is deep, everything you say will have masculine energy to it. You don’t need a deep
voice to attract women, but it’s advantageous (like being tall or good looking)
Tom Hiddleston and Benedict Cumberbatch are two of the male actors that women nd the most
sexually attractive. Isn’t that strange?
Neither of them has the most traditionally attractive facial features, nor are they particularly
muscular. But they do both have something in common: powerful, deep voices.
A deep voice by itself can turn a woman on, so it’s de nitely worth putting in effort to deepen
your voice
To practice deepening your voice, you can follow the advice in this article: https://
vocularapp.com/how-to-get-deeper-voice/.
Changing Your Voic
Our voice develops over the course of many years. Because of this, we become comfortable with
our voice, and attempting to change it can be stressful, it’ slike swimming against the current
Despite this, changing your voice is worth the effort: vocal tonality is one of the most potent
ways we signal whether we have high or low status
Fortunately, anyone can improve their vocal tonality
But changing your tonality is dif cult. We don’t hear our voice the way other people hear it
And realistically, you can’t change your vocal tonality until you know what you’re doing wrong.
There’s a simple solution to this predicament: record audio of yourself interacting with women
That might sound like an awkward thing to do, but you can actually record audio with almost no
risk of getting caught
Simply wear earbuds with a mic and rest them over your shirt. Use the voice recorder app on
your phone to pick up the audio of your conversations (or you can download one, I use
Easyvoicerecorder)
Once you’ve got some audio of your interactions, listen to it, and analyze what you’re doing well
and what you could improve on
In addition to recording yourself interacting with others, you can also record yourself at home
talking about your day for a couple of minutes (or you can choose any topic like philosophy or a
TV show you like and start talking about it).
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Make your voice as engaging as you possibly can by trying to embody the qualities of an
attractive voice you just learned about(it’s okay to exaggerate it at rst), and then analyze the
recording
Notice how your tonality is coming across: is it overly friendly? Confrontational? Monotone?
Look for anything that could be improved about your tonality. Maybe you could use more
pauses, perhaps you could speak with more emotion, or it’s possible you could vary the rhythm
more
Listening to your recorded voice will give you emotional leverage to make a real change. You
might, for example, notice that you’re coming across as quiet and shy. That’s actually a good
thing. When you know your voice is timid, you will be viscerally motivated to add more
assertiveness and masculinity to your voice
The Power Of Free Associatio
Free association is at the heart of a good conversation. Any witty remark you’ve made was
nothing more than free-association. And if you’ve ever had a conversation that ended up being
surprisingly meaningful, it got there through a process of free-associating ideas
Free association is a skill you can practice. In fact, it’s something that comedians often do to
improve their ability to come up with new ideas
Let’s take an example of how free-association works
When a girl tells me her name is Ashley, my mind automaticall
creates a list of associations. It looks something like this
Ashley = Attractive / Wealthy / Generic / White / Ashley Benson
I can then say something based off any of those associations, for example
Attractive
“Ashley? That’s a classic hot girl name. I’m not sure if it ts you.
Generic
Me: “I’ve never met an Ashley before.
Her: “Really?
Me: “No, I’m messing with you, I’ve met tons of Ashley’s.
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Ashley Benson
“Ashley? Like the actress Ashley Benson. Would you say you’re a Pretty Little Liar?
Wealthy
“Most of the Ashley’s I’ve met were rich. But you look like you’re th
exception.
White
“That’s the ultimate white girl name. You must be from Scottsdale.” (Scottsdale is the rich white
part of my city.
Even from just hearing a girl’s name, you can use free association to start building an engaging,
emotionally charged conversation
Of course, just knowing that free association is powerful won’t do much to change your life
I do two exercises every single day that have allowed me to effortlessly generate interesting
things to say when I’m interacting with women.
If you spend two minutes a day practicing each of these, your conversation skills will skyrocket
Exercise 1: Free-Associate Sentence
For this exercise, complete a sentence out-loud, then create a new sentence using a word from
the previous sentence (You can also do this silently in your head )
Example
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The universe has existed for billions of years
I am 25 years old today, that’s halfway to 50
Half of marriages end in divorce
Marriage is known to be a cultural universal which is strange because I read that
monogamy isn’t natural
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Reading good books is one of the best ways to improve your life. If you’re not
improving, you’re slowly getting worse
Practicing this exercise will help you to make creative connections naturally in all of your
conversations
Exercise 2: Chain of Association
In this exercise, you’re associating singular words instead of sentences. Additionally, you are
speci cally thinking of words that have an emotional charge
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Doing this exercise might look something like this
Love – Sex – Virgin – Mormon – Cult – Manipulation – Salesmen – Annoying – Amy Schumer –
Gross – Taco Bell – Obesity – America – Freedom
Men often struggle with women because their conversations are too agreeable and logical. These
men might have a friendly conversation with a girl, but they don’t challenge or excite her. A safe
conversation will never offend a girl, but it will also never turn her on
Guidelines For The Chain of Association
Your goal when doing this exercise is to associate words that provoke a strong emotional
reaction. (That emotion can be either negative or positive.
While you’re doing the exercise, don’t overthink it. Not every word you associate has to be
controversial or shocking; it’s okay if some of the words you think of are relatively bland
This exercise will teach your mind to make connections that are outside the boring, logical, safe
topics that most guys rely on when talking to women.
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As you practice this, your conversations with women will become increasingly impactful