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Terence C. Wong
Dr Laura Pogue
Writing as Discovery ENGL 3300 - D
11/20/2021
THE MEMORY THAT I CAN’T SEEM TO ERASE
The sight of nurses and doctors rushing a patient into the operating theatre, the blaring
sound of the ambulance sirens, the wailing of family members upon finding out that their loved
ones just passed. All these images and sensory flashbacks were just too familiar for me. Sunway
Hospital was where I spent most of 2011 when my family and I had to care for my dad, before
he passed away in July the same year. I definitely abhorred the idea of calling Sunway Hospital
my second home, but my dad called this place home for most of 2011 until he passed away
later that year. He fought a tough battle with stomach cancer for 9 months. Sunway Hospital
was that bitter memory I wanted to erase from my mind.
This hospital was a place of many bittersweet memories for me as I remembered being
admitted into this place when I was seven years old, several times for gastroenteritis issues,
and literally most of the medical personnel in the hospital back then knew me. Never had I
imagined that I would cross paths with the place again so soon. Both of the occasions were
filled with anxiety and despair. However, the later events that took place in the course of my
dad’s journey in battling cancer in this hospital changed my life. The hospital has grown by
leaps and bounds ever since my dad’s passing, but I’ll never forget the painful moments and
the nauseating scent of antiseptic permeating the atmosphere of the oncology ward that my dad
stayed for two months before passing.
Flashing back to that fateful morning of September 25th 2010, my mom had dragged
my dad along to Sunway Hospital to have a complete endoscopy because he had been
complaining of indigestion and stomach aches for almost a year, but chose to brush that aside.
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My dad made the grave mistake of assuming that his discomfort was just a minor issue, and
chose to ignore it. The endoscopy results that the doctor revealed thereafter shocked us to the
core. Dad was diagnosed with third stage advanced stomach cancer. I can clearly recall
devastation and my mom reeling from the shock of the news.
The journey was full of stress. For the first five months before my dad’s condition
worsened, Sunway Hospital was our second home. He needed to be admitted to the hospital
every fortnight for blood transfusion and chemotherapy treatment. The experience really taught
me how to care for a terminally ill family member. To set the record straight, we were eternally
grateful to the nurses and medical personnel in Sunway Hospital, as they had really worked
tirelessly to make sure my dad felt comfortable throughout his treatment. The comforting words
from the nurses came as a relief to my drooping soul, as my heart was still battling in turmoil,
still overwhelmed by the weight that the world decided to rain on me.
Dad’s condition improved briefly after the treatment, but it took a turn for the worse.
After battling with the side effects of the chemotherapy for a few months, his condition
deteriorated rapidly in May 2011. My dad started vomiting blood, and was in a lot of pain. My
mom and I quickly rushed him back to Sunway Hospital to be admitted into the ICU. The
doctor upon examining him, gave us his verdict that we more or less anticipated – dad did not
respond too well to the chemotherapy treatment. Whatever progress that took place was just a
blip.
The air-conditioning in the ICU room was exceptionally frigid. Staring blankly at my
dad with all the life-support plugged into his fragile body, I can only stand there in stone-cold
silence, deep grief emerging from within my soul as to think how my dad’s life was hanging
in the balance. This was the first time I’ve seen my dad, a strong-willed, fatherly figure, now
lying helplessly in bed, gasping for his dear life. This was the first time I’ve seen my dad, once
an optimist, joyful character, now losing every ounce of determination and hope to survive
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another day. Cancer had totally ripped him off the simple pleasures of life he used to enjoy, the
world had come crashing down on him. Words cannot fully describe the grief I felt, knowing
the fact that my dad is losing the battle with this monstrous disease.
Dad remained in the hospital for almost a month. His condition didn’t improve, in fact
the oncologist had told us to be mentally prepared as his condition was such that he may only
be able to sustain for another month or two. We must be mentally prepared that we might lose
him anytime. For that period of time, a day felt like a year for our family. As if dealing with
my dad’s illness wasn’t devastating enough, I had to put on a brave front to sit for my Final
Examinations in college as well back then. Looking back in hindsight, I can only thank God
for granting me the strength, both mentally and physically, to handle the enormous amount of
stress that I was going through.
As a result, the routine of me shuttling between college and hospital with my mom
continued until the beginning of July. I still remember, on that fateful night, my dad suddenly
requested us to give him a clean shave, shower him, and trim his long-overgrown beard. Dad
knows his time is coming up, he wants to be in his best shape to meet his Creator. The night
arrived in pint-drop silence in Ward 34A, dad gathered my mom and I, by his bedside, he
quietly delivered his parting words, as if he knew his time was up. Knowing this conversation
might be the last time I ever speak to him, all I could muster was a weak “Yes”, and “Don’t
Worry about mom,” whilst nodding in agreement and allowing tears to freely flow.
At three o’clock sharp in the early hours of dawn, we received a phone call from the
hospital – dad had returned to the Lord peacefully. The final curtain to his life was called, my
dad succumbed to the disease after battling bravely for nine months relentlessly. As the night
falls, and the lights along the corridor of Sunway’s Oncology Ward dimmed, my dad’s journey
on earth has also come to an end. He had fought the good fight, he had finished the course, and
he had kept the faith. (2 Timothy 4:7)
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Moving on was definitely rough for us, as I am now responsible for taking care of my
mom. Nonetheless, I believed that everything in life happened for a reason, and therefore, God
has His plans and purpose for the tumultuous times that I had to go through during that fateful
year. Since then, I made a conscious effort to avoid visiting Sunway Hospital, at least for the
first few years after my dad’s passing. I don’t want to be reminded of the painful memory of
the painful struggle he endured during the nine months’ battle with stomach cancer. The sights
and scenes in the hospital were just far too familiar for me.
The façade of the hospital had changed, but the memories remained. Ward 34A was
eerily silent, filled with patients who were also battling cancer. The wailing of Uncle Lee across
my dad’s bed, the sight of Aunty Lourdes retching, still send shivers down my spine up to this
day. I would never want to be reminded of such painful memories, if possible.
Adios, Sunway Hospital! And to my dad, till we meet again in heaven.
Source: - https://patients.smarterhealth.sg/hospital/sunway-medical-centre-malaysia/