Runnning Head: LESS MONEY, MORE PROBLEMS? COPING WITH FINANCIAL STRESS
Less Money, More Problems?
Coping with Financial Stress
Jennifer Kwon
University of California, Santa Barbara
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Less Money, More Problems? Coping with Financial Stress
Though couples can face any number of challenges throughout their relationship, money
has been found to be one of the "consistent sources of stress for American adults" (Falconier &
Epstein, 2019). Financial stressors can fuel conflicts, based on the perceived lack of available
resources and uncertainty it causes. Couples must learn to interdependently navigate these types
of conflicts through effective, open communication. The literature presented will examine the
arguments that financial stressors can cause subjective stress differently to the individuals
involved in the relationship, but that ultimately the most important underlying issue to address is
the communication in the relationship.
The uncertainty caused by financial stress will likely magnify the other potential issues.
High uncertainty arouses high emotional responses--fear and anxiety will accumulate, and cause
stress contagion in the relationship. In addition, in situations with high uncertainty and low selfefficacy, some couples may mask their issues and worries because they feel they cannot deal
with the situation effectively. Low self-efficacy in either communication or coping will lead to
cyclical arguments rather than dealing with the root of the issue.
Outside forces such as a tough economy, an illness, or changes in the family's needs can
quickly shift the amount of perceived financial stress, resulting in high uncertainty. A study
argues that low income couples face different external and interal stressors from affluent couples
and that these stressors take time away from activities that "promote intimacy" and "drain the
couple of energy and resources" to deal with the stress (Neff & Karney, 2017). In addition, it's
important to understand the attitudes towards money each individual has. They usually come
from childhood experiences, stemming from their own families' attitudes towards money
(Baisden, Fox, & Bartholomae, 2018). These beliefs can either increase or decrease the
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emotional stress of economic pressure. According to stress theory, an internal locus of control
and self-efficacy "play a key role in the coping process" (Falconier & Epstein, 2019). If
individuals believe that they have some control over the outcome of a situation and believe in
their own ability to handle a problem, they are far more likely to have a positive outlook and
work actively towards a solution. "Having similar values about money influences marital and
financial satisfaction" (Baisden, Fox, & Bartholomae, 2018). Guiding couples to understand their
own attitudes towards money can empower them and allow them to set aside biases when
approaching discussions about their finances.
The delicate nature of money in American society and the power imbalances that may
affect a couple can lead to challenges as well. If there is a more prominent 'breadwinner' in the
relationship, they may feel resentment towards the other in harder economic times or feel that the
other is not trying hard enough or contributing enough to the relationship. Social exchange
theory would suggest that this inequality might lead to relational distress, because one partner
feels they are not getting as much as they put in. On the other hand, partners who earn less may
feel guilty, or experience lower self-esteem, particularly if they want to contribute more but
cannot find ways to do so. In addition, conformation to idealized gender roles may reduce the
self-efficacy of women who aren't high earners. Interestingly, when women were the sole
providers of income for a household, they were still found to feel as though they weren't
contributing enough within the home (Baisden, Fox, & Bartholomae, 2018). The power
imbalances caused by a higher earning male partner gave them perceived legitimacy in control,
and relationships with inequal economic power and fairness were found to have more conflict
(Baisden, Fox, & Bartholomae, 2018).
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Due to the dyadic nature of financial stress, both couples will likely participate in the
worrying which can lead to "increased inter-partner hostility and aggression, demand/withdraw
pattern communication, conflict, and relationship dissatisfaction and hostility" (Falconier et al.,
2019). Couples, during times of higher stress, tend to make greater attribution errors and have
less capacity to forgive their partner's negative behaviors (Neff & Karney, 2017). Additionally,
when couples are stressed, "negative relationship experiences are viewed as more diagnostic of
the state of the relationship" (Neff & Karney, 2017). Stress intensifies conflicts and emotions,
leading couples to perceive that their negative relationships conflicts reflects their marital
quality. Some studies additionally found that coping methods change when dealing with
financial stress compared to other forms of stress--couples were found to be less likely to use
"self-distraction, emotional and instrumental support, venting, positive reframing, and humor"
(Falconier et al., 2019). This may be caused by the high value placed on money in Western
society and the taboo nature of talking about one's financial situations to others. Couples will
engage in dyadic coping to help their partner handle stress. This can take the form of positive or
negative forms of coping, such as offering financial advice and emotional support, or
minimization of concerns and superficial coping. Ultimately, financial stress can cause stress
contagion or emotional flooding, leading to constant bickering over small issues, attributional
errors, growing resentment, and misunderstanding of relational level messages.
To really deal with the root issues of financial stress, communication techniques
encouraging effective, open, and empathetic communication is key. Teaching people to bolster
self-efficacy and deal with the effects of stress and emotion rather than taking it out on one
another will strengthen and improve the relationship. As found by Risner (2012), couples who
displayed consideration of each other's ideas, active listening, and greater problem-solving skills
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can more effectively deal with the stress of economic pressures. Learning and improving skillbased resources such as active listening and conflict resolution can teach couples and individuals
to take on any challenge and improve their relationships. The research backs the idea that
relationship quality relies the basic pillars of good communication, regardless of the stressors
present.
In order to tackle the issue of conflicts arising from a lack of listening and problem
solving, a therapist could ask the couple to discuss a conflict they recently had and the messages
they remember saying during the conflict or asking the couple to each air one complaint. Guiding
the couple to analyze their own and each other's content and relational messages can help them
decode each other's thoughts rather than guessing at what is going on. It could be helpful to have
one partner say a statement and have the other partner explain the relational message they feel
they received from it, using 'I-' statements. Teaching couples to ask one another about the
relational messages they receive rather than trying to mindread can help them be more effective
at dealing with conflict.
The therapist can also ask each partner to rate their subjective views of the importance of
the financial strains of the relationship (Falconier & Epstein, 2019). The partners should
understand one another's attitude toward money. Because most attitudes towards conflict and
beliefs about money are formed during childhood whlie watching their own family, individuals
should focus on understanding how their past has shaped their current approach to conflict and
money (Masarik, Martin, Ferrer, Lorenz, Conger, & Conger, 2016). It is important to emphasize
that many couples in the US struggle with money. Destigmatizing the idea of financial issues as
shameful and deconstructing the personal attitudes individuals have towards money can help
couples more openly discuss financial stress (Falconier & Epstein, 2019). By openly discussing
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their conflict styles and views towards money, the couple can work towards greater
understanding of each other. For example, if one partner is experiencing high levels of stress
about money because they come from a more unstable financial background, the other partner
can understand the need to provide better emotional support, rather than minimizing an issue.
Setting clear guidelines for speaker and listener roles during discussions can help couples
become better communicators (Falconier & Epstein, 2019). The couple should be taught the
premises of active listening and the pitfalls they should avoid when being an active listener, such
as shifting focus back to themselves, cutting in, or allowing personal emotion and judgment to
cloud their views. They should practice active listening and respond with strong support
statements, paraphrasing, and relevant questions (Falconier & Epstein, 2019). Asking the couple
to practice active listening in therapy and at home will help form it into a habit and improve their
day-to-day communication.
Another would be teaching anger management techniques. If they notice that they are
becoming angry, feeling hot, or their pulse is racing, counting down backwards from 10 can help
to reduce physiological reactions to emotional arousal. When high emotions and conflict clash, it
can magnify situations unnecessarily. Couples could also be taught to employ a codeword for a
timeout on the conflict or discussion at hand if the situation calls for it. Allowing partners time to
cool off and returning to the discussion with a clear mind will allow for a much more productive
interaction. Also related to emotion, is cognitive behavioral therapy. Couples can log their
thoughts, trace back the emotion they felt, and the root of why they felt the emotion, in order to
understand how thoughts can affect emotions and in turn, behavior. Teaching the link between
thought, emotion, and behavior can help moderate reactions to stressors and provide an outlet for
relief (Falconier & Epstein, 2019).
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The therapist should also consider recommend a financial advisor as well. Giving
individuals the tools to more success in the workforce has also proven to alleviate relationship
stress (Neff & Karney, 2017). Providing job counseling and resources, such as information about
financial aid, or certificates to potentially pursue, can be more effective for low-income couples
than techniques focusing on communication. Empowering them through such information would
help shift their internal locus of control and increase their self-efficacy, as well as provide
tangible help and resources for their financial situation. One study suggests that providing an
interdisciplinary approach that utilizes both a financial advisor and a therapist can be highly
effective (Falconier & Epstein, 2019).
The common adage about giving a man a fish versus teaching a man to fish comes to
mind--by providing someone access to skill-based interpersonal communication tools, resources,
and teaching them how to effectively utilize it in their communication, they will not only be able
to more easily deal with financial stressors, but many of life's other challenges as well. Rather
than viewing it as an inherent trait, communication should be seen as a skill that can be actively
improved. Financial stress can cause different coping reactions than other forms of stress and it's
important to reduce reliance on unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as avoidance or
minimization. By destigmatizing the role of money in the relationship and breaking down the
understanding of each individual's internal value of money, a therapist can help the couple
understand one another's view points more effectively. Additionally, tangible support in the form
of resources for education, job training, or information on certificates for work skills can boost
low-income couples.
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References
Baisden, E. D., Fox, J. J., & Bartholomae, S. (2018). Financial management and marital quality: A
phenomenological inquiry. Journal of Financial Therapy,9(1).
http://dx.doi.org.proxy.library.ucsb.edu:2048/10.4148/1944-9771.1153
Falconier, M. K., & Epstein, N. B. (2011). Couples Experiencing Financial Strain: What We Know
and What We Can Do. Family Relations,60(3), 303-317. Retrieved May 22, 2019, from
https://www.jstor.org/stable/41236768.
Falconier, M. K., Rusu, P. P., & Bodenmann, G. (2019). Initial Validation of the Dyadic Coping
Inventory for Financial Stress. Stress and Health : Journal of the International Society for the
Investigation of Stress,01. doi:10.1002/smi.2862
Masarik, A. S., Martin, M. J., Ferrer, E., Lorenz, F. O., Conger, K. J., & Conger, R. D. (2016, April
01). Couple Resilience to Economic Pressure Over Time and Across Generations. Retrieved May
22, 2019, from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4806389/
Neff, L. A., & Karney, B. R. (2017). Acknowledging the Elephant in the Room: How Stressful
Environmental Contexts Shape Relationship Dynamics. Current Opinion in Psychology,13, 107110. doi:10.1016/j.copsyc.2016.05.013
Risner, J. R. (2012). Coping strategies used for household financial management: Problem and
emotion focused coping in diverse economic climates. ProQuest Dissertations and Theses.
Retrieved May 22, 2019, from https://search-proquestcom.proxy.library.ucsb.edu:9443/docview/1112278253?accountid=14522.