I need to take am oment and just free flow.
It's been so long since i have felt comfortable and free enough to type at a computer and talk to myself again.
There are so many things that I want to so and my brain is struggling to put them into order of precidence.
It was a really challenging last few weeks with him, yet I find myself after reading the queens code struggling to decide if the path we had been traveling down is becoming altered once again.
I learned quite a few things from the book that reminded me about placing my needs first.
Now though I am struggling with deciding now the weight of my choices and how they could posisbly play out in all directions with all parties involved because I do not seek to outwardly cause hurt to anyone. Though I know when it comes to games of the body and heart the prices are steep.
Though frequently they are worth the lessons learned in both pleasures and pains.
I know that I seek soothing and stimulation physically.
I long to feel another sense my tensions and seek to release them out of me.
In addition i have began the process of seeking out service to the communutiy in a different way than I have ever imagined.
Applying for the guardian ad litem program has been something different for me.
I essentially have signed up as a position of social worker without the years of training. Purely because I am not being paid for the work I am providing, which makes what I do so much more valuable and rewarding. I am about to become an Officera and Jedi Soldier in the army of Love and Light. I am going to be playing match maker for a child and their future.
I think I need to talk to Stan...
He's going to be an asset and an ally in my handling of this honor I have taken upon.
I need to also continue reading his manuscript.
Now that I have this computer that I am typing on I am become more active in contirbuting to my own story, both physically and metaphorically by being an active player in my life. I finally have to celebrate all that I have over come, how much I have saved, change, repaired, and grown to make it this far. The reward of this new tool into my life, the upgrade that I was needing to make the most drastic change in my life has finally happened.
I must say that I am still concerened that I will have a dip in my productivity instead of the surge I was hoping for.
Though even in the 48 hours that I have owned the machine I feel like I have accomplished more than I have in the last 6 months.
Knowing that I have a machine powerful enough to handle the software that I need to grow both my hemp wick company and build the future dream office of mine at level up studios. Reaching 3,000 followers was no small feat for me. I know that many are scoffing my efforts at wanting to claim my title as a social media specialist, but I am finding that I have a better understanding at how instagram works than a lot of the "experts". These gurus pigeonholing people into the belief system that content is the first a formost imporant thing to growth, which according to my experinces it is not.
In fact that the if we begin taking looks at the volume of accounts that are mass managed by groups of people or one person alone we see how unreal the following and content engagments are going to be.
The true tests on content quality are seen when one begins posting with no hashtags and weighs the engagments of the current fanbase rather than the influences of other accounts like myself who seek out the pools of people and engage the content as a whole in that genre rather than the accounts content being followed.