THE SUBTLE
ART OF NOT
GIVING A F*CK
MEMORIZATION BOOKLET
Mark Manson
WHY YOU NEED TO FILL OUT THIS BOOKLET!
Theory is useless compared to action.
This booklet is what will separate you from
everyone else.
The science is unequivocal: Learning science
has shown that retention increases dramatically when new information is immediately
recalled (verbally or via writing), as well as
when it is practically applied to your life.
NOW WHAT?
Watch the video online or on your USB Flash
Drive.
Pause the video as needed to fill out the
booklet.
WHAT YOU WILL LEARN:
1. At a time when you are constantly being asked to
retrain and reinvent yourself to adapt to new technologies and changing industries, this book shows
you how to uncover and develop talents you didn’t
realize you had—no matter your age or background.
2. You need to focus intently to be able to solve
problems—yet that focus can also block you from
accessing the fresh approach you may need. This
book teaches you how to open that gateway.
3. You are more likely to develop a passion for what
you are good at. The mistake is thinking if you aren’t good at something, you do not have and can
never develop a passion for it. This book teaches
you to revisit those areas that you’ve misconceived
as weaknesses.
Don’t worry about finishing all at once. Stop.
Start. Come back. It’s all up to you.
Apply the techniques discussed in the booklet to your life.
Notice the results. Then double down on
what especially works for you.
NOTE
Prepared exclusively for Mentorbox members.
All rights reserved.
Copying is strictly prohibited.
You do NOT need to read A Mind for
Numbers to learn and apply its key
points. You should read it, but you
don’t have to.
PURPOSE
HERE’S HOW IT WORKS:
1. Although we suggest that you do, you do NOT
need to read The Subtle Art (…) to learn and
apply its key points. We’ve already done the hard
work for you.
2. Watch the video provided on the USB flash drive.
3. Pause the video as needed to fill out the booklet.
4. Don’t worry about finishing all at once. Stop.
Start. Come back. It’s all up to you.
5. Apply the techniques discussed in the booklet to
your life.
6. Notice the results. This stuff really works!
The purpose of this booklet is to help you turn theory into action. Learning science has shown that
retention increases dramatically when new information is immediately recalled (verbally or via writing),
as well as when it is practically applied to your life.
Using this Memorization Booklet is the easiest and
most effective way for you to codify and make useful the depth of knowledge included in The Subtle
Art(…). Follow this guide, answer the questions honestly and diligently, and by the end, you’ll learn how
to successfully prioritize your values, thus making
your life simpler and happier.
PLAY THE CORRESPONDING MEMORIZATION VIDEO ON THE USB FLASH DRIVE. PAUSE THE VIDEO AS
NEEDED TO FILL OUT THIS BOOKLET.
4
WHAT DO WE MEAN BY “NOT GIVING A F*CK”?
1. It’s important to note that “Not Giving a F*ck”
does NOT equate to apathy. It does not mean
that you do not care about anything. Quite the
opposite in fact—at its core, “Not Giving a F*ck”
is about prioritization. It requires that you are
comfortable with your imperfections and that
you accept your problems.
It means:
QUESTION
What is something that you currently care about
that you know is not that important?
Example (from the book): Mark always wanted to be
seen as a ladies man. He gained fulfillment by having
wild adventures on the weekends. If he wasn’t “successful” on a Friday night, he thought himself a failure…
It’s OK to be an outcast.
It’s OK to pursue your dreams.
It’s OK to not care about embarrassment.
Example: Whenever I post a picture on Instagram, I
check it a few times every hour to see how many likes I
received…
You must decide—what is my worthwhile purpose? If you don’t do this, you’ll fill the extra
space with trivial concerns.
5
DON’T FEEL BAD ABOUT FEELING BAD
2. Right before a game-winning shot, Lebron James
does not think about HOW to properly shoot a
basketball. He doesn’t worry about form or spacing—he just lets it fly.
QUESTION
Imagine your biggest failure. What do you feel bad
about? What aspect of your life are you most embarrassed about?
This is called “Flow” or “Being in the Zone.” The
same theory applies to enlightenment. The Buddha says that you only reach Nirvana after you
stop searching for it.
Example: By far and away I’m most embarrassed by my
finances. It’s not that I’m financially insecure. In fact, I’m
very comfortable—but compared to my friends…
And so too Mark suggests that if we’re concerned
about happiness, we have to stop worrying about
feeling bad. An overemphasis on “positive thinking” only further emphasizes what’s wrong, and
thus, creates more unhappiness.
QUESTION
Now write a brief letter to yourself about why this
is OK. (Note: this doesn’t mean you don’t want to
improve, it just means you accept it as a reality)
Example: Dear XYZ,You’re right about your finances. It’s
been a tough road so far—and you know the reasons
why. But I forgive you for your current situation. There’s
nothing to do about the past. Feeling upset about where
you are right now only exacerbates the problem…
6
HAPPINESS IS SOLVING PROBLEMS
3. The truth is that you will always have problems. If
you have a billion dollars—you’ll have problems.
If you win the Super Bowl—you’ll have problems.
If you’re awarded the Nobel Prize—you’ll have
problems.
QUESTION
What are you most stressed out about right now?
Example: I’m stressed about my relationship. My wife
and I have been fighting…
Problems are inevitable. And in fact—they’re
great.
Mark goes as far as to say,“happiness comes from
solving problems.” In other words—positive
emotions come from making progress against
your problems; whereas negative emotions come
from unsolved problems.
QUESTION
Reword this stressor as an unsolved problem.
Example: My problem is that my wife and I are not doing
well…
QUESTION
Now imagine that this problem is completely
solved—or in the least—that you’ve made progress.
Now how do you feel?
NOTE
Example: I feel…happier!
Point? If you want to feel better—start
solving the problem.
7
BECOME GREAT BY KNOWING YOU’RE NOT
4. We all want to be great at something—a lot of
things even. Whether it’s being a great spouse,
parent, teammate, coworker, boss, or athlete—
it’s a natural instinct to want to be the best.
QUESTION
What’s your current expertise? What are you “the
best” at?
Though ironically, to be the best, you must embrace your current weaknesses. You don’t become the best by being the best; you become
the best by knowing that you’re NOT the best,
and then striving to incrementally improve every
single day: one percent by one percent by one
percent.
Example: I make a killer Lasagna…
QUESTION
In this area—what do you still have to learn?
Example: On my first trip to Rome I still remember the
Lasagna I had at “La Ristorante”—the difference was
the cheese, I think. If I ever want to improve I need to…
NOTE
Acknowledging that you aren’t perfect
gets you closer to perfection.
8
ENTITLEMENT AND THE DELUSION OF PERFECTION
5. In today’s world of instant gratification and social
media—it’s easy to think that everyone else’s life
is stunning: constant waterfalls, vacations, beautiful meals and adventurous mountain climbs—and
so too should be yours. But this is dangerous.
QUESTION
Who is your favorite celebrity/mentor who you
think has the “perfect” life? Why that person?
Sure, your life will have its highlights, but don’t be
fooled by the filter of Instagram and Facebook.
Most of your life (and everyone else’s for that
matter) will not be noteworthy. But this is OK!
The opposite—a grandiose, overindulgent view
of the world—is actually quite dangerous.
Example: Anthony Robbins. I feel like he never has a bad
day…like he’s figured out some all-inclusive formula for
happiness…
Undeserved high self-esteem, due to Likes or
easy-popularity leads to entitlement, and entitlement often leads to laziness.
QUESTION
Now imagine them in the bathroom getting ready
for bed. What are they doing? Does such tedium
look any different than your life?
Example: He’s picking up his toothbrush, probably talking
to his wife…In reality, not too much different than mine.
Not different at all in fact.
9
THE METALLICA SYNDROME
6. Mark says that our barometers for success are
moving targets. They change depending on our
circumstance.
QUESTION
Imagine you’re giving some advice to Dave Mustaine—tell him why he shouldn’t be so hard on himself for selling ONLY 25 million records.
As an example, when Dave Mustaine was kicked
out of the ultra-popular rock band Metallica, he
vowed that they’d rue the day they let him go—
that he would start a world famous rock band.
And he did! Megadeth sold more than 25 million
albums.
Example: Dave—you’re being crazy. It may be true that
Metallica sold more copies than you, but it’s also important to note that you’re rich, famous, and have the freedom to be an artist, to do something you love with your
life—which not many people do…
But guess what? He still thought of himself as a
failure. Why? Because Metallica sold 180 million
records…
The point is—don’t expect that one day all
your problems will disappear just because you
reached some panicle of “success.” Enough is
never enough. That’s why it’s important to learn
how to enjoy what you already have.
QUESTION
What’s an aspect of your life where you’re too hard
on yourself? Where you’re unhappy because you’re
not yet “perfect”?
Example: My weight. I theoretically know what to do, but
I just can’t do it. I always give myself some excuse as to
why…
10
SHITTY VALUES (CHOOSE WHAT YOU SUFFER FOR)
7. It’s important to note that Mark is NOT trying
to convince you that there’s no way to improve
your life, nor is he theorizing that you should
just go sit in a corner somewhere and “accept
things.” But he is suggesting that no matter what,
there is going to be some form of pain in your
life. At times—suffering. It’s inevitable.
QUESTION
Let’s imagine you have a child who wants to win their
grade school’s mile race. They wake up early every
morning to train, they eat right, they sleep right, and
they run as fast as they can on race day—but they
get second place. Are they a failure? Why not?
So instead of convincing yourself through “the
power of positive thinking” that everything is
perfect—choose what you’re willing to suffer
FOR.
Example: Of course not. You can’t be a failure if you do
everything in your power…
What are your values that you can count on
when the going gets tough?
A good value should be socially constructive,
within your control, and based in reality. As an
example: honesty, charity, or standing up for others.
NOTE
The reason this child is not a failure is
that your metric is not “win or lose,”
your metric is whether or not they acted correctly. You must apply this same
metric to your life.
11
IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT, BUT IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY
8. Often people confuse being at fault with being
responsible—but they are not the same.
QUESTIONS
Fault is concerned with the past. You were at
fault.
Was this negative outcome your fault?
YES NO
Responsibility is concerned with the present. It is
my responsibility.
With regards to finding a solution, does it matter
whose fault it is?
And now here’s the kicker—whether an occurrence was or was not your fault is completely
irrelevant. The only thing that matters now is—
what are you going to do next?
YES NO
What can you do about solving this problem (How
can you take responsibility for the future)? List three
ideas…
QUESTION
Example: I need to explain to that manager the importance of noting on the order that UPS must ship only
using a flatbed truck.
What’s a mistake someone else made in the past
week that negatively affected your life (at work or
home)? What happened?
1.
Example: At work, a shipment didn’t arrive on time at
our warehouse because one of the managers forgot to
explain to UPS that they needed to bring a small truck…
2.
3.
12
THE NECESSITY OF CHANGE
9. Manson’s goal here is to give us a guidebook for
how to choose which values we care about, as
well as for how to choose the appropriate metrics to measure our success with (in order to live
in accordance with those values).
What’s the most significant (positive) change you’ve
made in your life?
Everything else is futile and will only cause you
further pain.
Example: A few years ago I became a vegetarian. I did
this for my health because…
QUESTION
But as you make these changes, after reemphasizing only those aspects of your life which are truly
important (and forgetting the rest)—you’ll come
against resistance from those around you who
still hold onto those old markers and values.
For example—if you leave Facebook because
you feel that it is a distraction from your family—many people will battle this change.
QUESTION
What resistance did you come up against amongst
your peer group?
Example: I remember my work colleagues teasing me
with meat all the time—saying that I was too political,
that meat was healthy for me…
NOTE
The next time you take positive actions in your life, you will once again
come up against resistance. This is OK.
Just know that it’s coming.
13
CERTAINTY BREEDS INSECURITY
10. Certainty is dangerous because it breeds 1) overconfidence, 2) insecurity, and 3) complacency.
QUESTION
If you’re too certain about who you are, when
circumstances change, you’ll inevitably feel insecure about your place in the world. If you’re certain that you’re the best salesman for example,
but your co-worker gets the promotion instead
of you—what does that say about you?
Who are you? Describe who you are now. What’s
changed?
Example: Now I work at a Ford Dealer working on cars.
I realized that it’s much easier and more stable to work
at a single location…
The truth is that never finding out who you are
is a good thing because it means that you are
always striving to be a better version of yourself.
QUESTION
QUESTION
Who were you? Describe who you were ten years
ago. What were you certain about?
Who do you want to be? Describe who you will be
in 10 years. What’s changed?
Example: I used to be crazy about motorcycles. I thought
I would be a traveling motorcycle mechanic…
Example: I’m probably selling myself short. There’s still
that adventurous part of me, but I haven’t been able to
take the risk of starting my own company. In ten years I’d
like to be able to own a shop, so that if I want to travel…
REMEMBER
Change is inevitable. It’s OK, in fact,
encouraged, for you to change your
mind—to become a new you.
14
KILL THE OLD YOU
11. To continue from the previous point—Mark describes what he calls “The Law of Avoidance.” In
short—you will avoid what challenges the way
you see yourself.
QUESTION
What’s your hardest held belief? Describe it.
What if you’re a hard lined Republican, but a liberal policy turns out to be wildly successful in
your area? Or vice versa? The Law of Avoidance
predicts that instead of using this policy as new
evidence to change your worldview, you’ll instead
avoid acknowledging its reality.
Example: I’m certain that sex before marriage is the ultimate sin…that if someone acts against God’s will…
Our beliefs are stubborn creatures.
If you ever want to make lasting positive change
in your life—you must kill the old you and everything he/she previously believed. Start from
scratch, and you’ll have a much easier time building a new and improved Empire.
QUESTION
Now imagine you held the exact opposite belief. Argue the other side.
Example: By having sex before marriage, a couple can
find out if they are sexually compatible before committing their lives to each other, and in this way, it’s actually
a positive because it would prevent…
NOTE
It’s not necessary to change this belief,
but it is important to practice seeing
things differently, lest you disallow new
evidence to improve your life.
15
FAILURE/PAIN AS A POSITIVE
12. Mark is all about turning conventional tropes on
their head. Anthony Robbins, for example, insists
that life is all about avoiding pain. But Mark disagrees—Pain is not necessarily a bad thing. Nor
is failure.
QUESTION
Describe a time in your life when you felt a lot of
pain (emotionally or physically)…
Let’s imagine someone who is better than you at
something—isn’t it true that this simply means
that they’ve practiced more?—or better yet, that
they’ve FAILED more than you have? To build the
muscle memory of what works, you also must
build the muscle memory of what doesn’t work.
Example: I’ll never forget my first girlfriend. I was so stupid in how I went about breaking up with her, trying to
look cool in front of my friends—but the look on her face
still haunts me to this day…
When you feel pain—this is good—it means
you’re learning.
QUESTION
What did you learn? Did it cause you to change in
some way?
Example: Ironically, I learned that it’s never worth it to
use someone else’s pain for your own pleasure or to
“look cool.” I was young, I know, and I forgive myself, but
ever since that day I’ve always tried to be honest and
kind when dealing with girlfriends….
16
ACTION LEADS TO MOTIVATION
13. We often convince ourselves that we don’t act
because we’re not motivated to act, when in fact,
the opposite is the case.
QUESTION
What’s something you want to accomplish this year
that you haven’t yet started working on?
Action begets motivation. Do you want to write
a novel? Sit in the chair and start writing.This will
surely motivate you. Do you want to lose some
weight? Go to the gym. This will build momentum. Do you want to save more money? Go to
the bank and talk to an advisor.
Example: I spend a lot of time at work, and it’s affecting
my relationship with my daughter. I told myself I’d make
sure to hang out with her more but…
We need to measure our success not by any particular outcome, but simply by whether or not
we’re taking steps towards completing that outcome.
QUESTION
What’s an action you can take today to start the ball
rolling?
Example: I’m going to sit down with her today and build
a schedule for “hang out” days.We’ll design a calendar of
events that we can share together…that I’ll be accountable to…
HINT
Now go do it!
17
MEANING COMES FROM COMMITMENT
14. Some self-help gurus insist that you must say yes
to everything:
QUESTION
“Be open to the world”—“Don’t turn down
what could be a great opportunity” etc. etc.
What are the three most important values you are
committed to embodying?
But saying yes to everything means that you stand
for nothing.
Example: I want to be a hardworking person, an honest
person…
Meaning comes from commitment: committing
to your values, to your family, to who you want
to be—these are worthwhile endeavors. In fact,
it requires that you say NO to everything else.
1.
2.
3.
QUESTION
QUESTION
What are your five biggest distractions, those aspects of your life that take up too much of your time
compared to who and what is actually important?
Who are the three most important people in your
life? Who are you committed to?
Example: My wife…
Example: I will say no to always watching “the game” in
my den.
1.
1. I will say no to…
2.
3.
2. I will say no to...
3. I will say no to...
4. I will say no to...
5. I will say no to...
18
CONFLICT (IN RELATIONSHIPS) IS GOOD
15. By this point, you have probably figured out that
Mark’s advice is a bit unconventional. So much so
that he theorizes that conflict in relationships…
is a good thing!
QUESTION
What’s something that you currently want to say to
that person, but you haven’t had the courage to say it
(because you’re scared it will ruin your relationship)?
But guess what? He’s right.
Not all conflict of course—Always arguing is not
something to strive for.
Example: I’ve been upset about…I know it sounds silly
but I keep asking my husband not to throw our new
towels on the floor…but he refuses to acknowledge that
it’s important…
But at its core, being able to articulate open and
honestly how you feel—this is a sign of strength
in a relationship, not weakness. You must be able
to disagree; you must be able to persevere together in spite of stressful situations—because if
you do, you’ll come out stronger in the end.
Struggle breeds trust.
QUESTION
QUESTION
What’s an event in the past that you and your significant other (or best friend or mom/dad) overcame
and are now stronger because of it?
Now go say it. Talk it out. Bite the bullet. Then come
back and answer this question—did that honesty
strengthen or ruin your relationship?
Example: When we first started dating, I had a miscarriage. It was devastating. I felt insecure, uncomfortable—
like I had let him down—but in the end, he was so nice
about the whole experience, it made me love him that
much more…
Example: I feel so much better now. At first, he was angry
and defensive but the more that I assured him that I
loved him, that it was just a small thing…we ended up
hugging it out. I’m really glad we talked about it.
19
MY OWN NOTES
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MY OWN NOTES
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MY OWN NOTES
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MY OWN NOTES
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